A/N: I really wanted to make this chapter longer for you guys, but I'm experiencing some kind of writer's block, so I figured I'd give you all what I have so far. I think I ended it at an ok spot. Also, EmisonLove123 I gave you the answer to your question in this chapter lol. I hope you guys enjoy!
Also, sorry I had to reload this like 3 times for it to be correct!
TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of sexual abuse in this chapter. It doesn't go too in to depth but it is in here so read at your own discretion.
Emily woke up the next morning in a state of bliss and at the most peace she had been in since moving here to Sherrill. A certain blue-eyed blonde definitely has something to do with it. Although there's no sure direction that they are going, this is the first time that both girls have admitted at the same time that there is something between them beyond them just being two friends who are attracted to each other. She turns over in bed and grabs her phone. She's itching to text Alison good morning, but she doesn't want to seem too eager. She decides against it, at least for now, and sets her phone back down.
Knock knock knock
She hears someone knocking on the front door and she's pretty sure she knows who it is. She goes to open her door and she is greeted by her friend.
"Well, hello there sleepy head." Kammie says slipping past her and into the apartment.
"Don't waste any time. Tell me how it went!" She says beaming with excitement as she heads to the couch and plops down on it.
Emily walks over to where her redhead friend is and just smiles and blushes.
"Oh , you totally slept with her! That was fast. But I'd expect nothing less." The girl laughs and pushes Emily's shoulder playfully.
"No, we didn't actually. Well, almost. We talked it out and put everything on the table, but she wants us to take it slow and get to know each other for who we are now, and I agree." Emily muses. Although she doesn't really know how that is supposed to work. She hasn't tried to get to know anyone, or have in-depth conversations with anyone in a very long time. All she knows is physical intimacy.
"Wow… She turned Emily the dog into Emily with the puppy dog eyes in less than 24 hours, she must be something special."
"She is… but I did have to leave when she decided she didn't want us to go any further than the make-out session we had. Once I get to the point of no return, I have to remove myself if we're not going to take it all the way there." Emily says running her fingers through her hair. She's getting all bothered just thinking about the moment between her and Alison last night. She decides to change the subject being that she has no idea what her friend did last night.
"Enough, about me. What did you, or should I say who did you get into last night?"
Kammie smiles before starting to gush, "Oh my God, Emily I met the sexiest woman ever. I was only at the bar for about 15 minutes before she walked in and I didn't even have to put the moves on her, she came onto me. She told me her name was Ryan, she bought me a drink and we started talking. She's funny as hell and witty. We stayed for maybe an hour before we went back to her place. And you know what happens from there."
"Of course I do." Emily says with a chuckle.
"But you know this was a little different from the nights I usually spend with women. After we did the deed, we laid up and talked for hours. I only got about 2 hours of sleep."
"Wait a minute, is my Kammie saying she felt something for this girl?" Emily says with a raised eyebrow.
"Well put it this way… If I didn't have to return your car I probably wouldn't be here right now, which also brings me to what I originally needed to tell you… She's actually about to come pick me up in about 30 minutes." Kammie says ducking her head, knowing Emily is probably looking at her with huge eyes. And she would be correct for thinking that.
"That's a turn of events I wasn't expecting," Emily says as she looks at her friend in shock. "But I won't give you any shit for acting like a lover girl if you promise to come back tonight and have a movie night with me. With everything going on with me and Alison we haven't spent any time together and I'm sorry about that."
"That sounds like a great idea. You've got a deal friend. This gives you all day to do what you please with your beloved Alison." Kammie replies with a smirk. "Well, I'm going to take a quick shower. I'll give you a heads-up before I leave." Kammie gives her friend a smile and walks toward the bathroom.
Emily sits for a second and rethinks her day. She thought she would have to find a way to entertain her redhead friend but since she now has plans of her own that opens her day up for her to do what she pleases. She figures she hasn't made her way to the pool here at the apartment complex and with it being a beautiful day today it only makes sense for her to go ahead and give it a try. She decides that maybe this is the perfect way for her to invite Alison to spend time with her. With that thought she moves to grab her phone off of the nightstand next to her bed and sends the blonde a text.
Emily: Good morning. I'm going to go check out the pool here soon if you'd like to join me. Let me know.
She figures it can't hurt. The worst she can say is no or that she's busy. But at least she took the initiative. And with that the brunette heads to her room to get dressed for the pool. Once she's dressed, she says goodbye to Kammie and asks her to lock the door behind her when she leaves and put the key under the doormat.
On the other side of the wall, the blonde is still fast asleep. Although she's sleeping a lot longer and harder than she normally does, she's not actually sleeping peacefully as she's having a rather intense nightmare. A nightmare/memory she hasn't had in a very long time.
Flashback:
It had been 2 weeks since the last time she had heard from Emily. She went from calling her every other day to now calling her twice a day and still getting no response. She's worried but she's spoken to the other girls, and they had all heard from her at least once. They note that they don't hear from her as often as before her dad passed but they still at least got a text or call from her ever so often. Alison has no idea what she could have done to make the brunette so upset that she stopped speaking to her. The last conversation they had was no different from any others, besides the fact that the brunette is obviously not as enthusiastic or happy as she was before her father passed. Alison had never felt this empty in her entire life. She had never gone this long without hearing the brunette's voice and it was killing her. Tonight, in particular it was hitting her harder than usual because today was Wednesday, and she always knew she would get a call from Emily every Wednesday around the same time. She always made sure she was available for the call.
Once it was about 11 pm Alison knew that another night was going by, and she wouldn't be hearing from Emily. It broke her heart because for some reason not hearing from her tonight felt final. She realizes that the brunette must really want nothing to do with her and tears escape her eyes at the thought. At the beginning of the night, her roommate had asked her if she was going to the frat party tonight and she had originally said no so she could wait around for Emily's call, but she knows now that won't be happening. So she puts on a cute top, a mini skirt and knee high boot heels and decides to go to the party to get her mind off of the brunette.
When she arrives, she feels totally out of place. She knew it was risky to show up alone, but she figured eventually she'd run into her roommate. Everyone is so hyped up and excited to be there. People are kegging and dancing, but all Alison wants to do is find the alcohol. She heads towards the kitchen and heads to where she sees drinks being made but on her way there a tall dark-haired boy with green eyes steps in front of her. He flashes a charming smile and offers to make her a drink.
Usually, the blonde knew better than to take a drink from a stranger, but she thought it should be harmless being that she was watching him make the drink. She watches as he pulls a bottle of liquor out of the fridge. She notices this bottle is not with the other bottles but doesn't pay too much attention to it because the bottle seemed to be unopened. Sadly, she should have listened to her instincts about the bottle because after he makes her a drink, she would only be able to recall bits and pieces of her night. Not being coherent again until the next morning. She had somehow made it back to her room. When she looks around, she is in the same clothes as the night before and notices that she is extremely sore between her legs. Alison's skin runs cold as she realizes what probably took place last night. Alison knew that she was too drunk to have been able to give proper consent considering she has no memory of most of the night also meaning she must have blacked out. Oh my God no. She thinks as it hits her like a truck what must have happened to her last night.
End Flashback
Alison shoots up in bed having woken up from a nightmare of a memory that she hasn't had in a while. She tries so hard to forget that night ever happened, but she figures that having Emily back in her life may have triggered the memory. She tries to take deep breaths and closes her eyes to try to regulate her breathing but it's not working and she's sweating bullets. She squeezes her eyes shut and just continues to breathe and eventually she does begin to calm down. Once she believes she's able to stand she walks swiftly to the bathroom, turning on the sink and splashing cold water in her face to help snap her back into reality. She stares at herself in the mirror and curses herself for letting that memory get the best of her. Part of her is ironically grateful she couldn't remember most of that night. She doesn't know how she would cope if she remembered the details of what actually must have happened.
Alison gathers herself after a while and tries to continue with her normal morning routine. She heads to the kitchen to start up her pot of coffee. While waiting for her coffee to finish brewing, she walks back into her bedroom and grabs her phone and checks her text messages. She sees a text from Emily. She beams with happiness because this is the first time in a long time, she's seen Emily's name pop up on her phone. But she also has another text message that doesn't give her that same feeling.
Rollins: Hey, do you want to meet up for dinner tonight? I miss you.
One text made her smile from ear to ear, and the other just made her feel terrible. She hates that she has this situation with Rollins hanging over her head, but she just can't find it in her heart to hurt him. She knows she has to handle it soon and she will, but for right now all she can focus on is the thought of Emily in a swimsuit. So, she texts the brunette back.
Alison: Good morning : ) I'd love a pool day. Give me about 30 minutes and I'll meet you there.
The blonde decides to ignore Rollins text message for now and just enjoy the time she's about to spend with Emily. And with that, she makes herself her coffee, her go-to every morning is French vanilla creamer and 2 sugars. She liked it that way and sticks to it religiously. After that, she heads off to her room to put on the sexiest bathing suit she can find.
After about 20 minutes, Alison is headed out of her apartment to meet Emily at the pool when she sees the brunette's door open and of course, the one person she does not want to see steps out. They make immediate eye contact. Alison doesn't care at this moment about how she told Emily to come after her, all she can think about is her hands being all over her Emily. She immediately cuts her eyes at her and begins to walk away. She can't help but let that bitchy side of her come through.
"Hey, Alison wait,"
There's no way she's actually trying to talk to me right now, the blonde thinks. But she still stops and turns around towards the woman folding her arms in defense.
Kammie looks at the blonde and notes that the girl is giving her a dissatisfied look and obviously does not want to be speaking to her, but she speaks anyway. "Look, I know the situation from yesterday wasn't the best way for us to meet, but I want you to know that I care about Emily's happiness. And I wouldn't do anything to derail what you two are trying to build."
Alison listens to the other girls' words, and she is taking it in, but she still is on the defense.
"Well, I appreciate that." Alison says curtly.
"And maybe you don't want to hear this from me, but please be patient with her… I've never seen her actually care about anyone and she obviously cares about you, but she's got a lot of walls built up,"
Alison hates to hear someone try to tell her about her Emily. But she also knows the redhead isn't wrong and doesn't seem to be coming from a disingenuous place.
"I'm aware. I'll do whatever it takes to break those walls down if she lets me… I have to go now." Alison says before turning around abruptly to leave. But not before she turns around to say one more thing. She can't let the redhead think she forgives that easily.
"Oh, and by the way, I hope you mean what you say about not doing anything to interfere with me and Emily… I would hate to have to not be so friendly." She says before shooting a wry smile and walking away.
Kammie raises an eyebrow at the response, but she isn't angry about it. She actually likes the blonde's attitude and protectiveness over Emily. She thinks to herself that she sees why Emily loves her. She's feisty and fierce. Then perfect combination for someone like Emily.
When Alison gets to the pool, she sees Emily is the only one there. When she enters the gated area, she observes the brunette floating on her back in the middle of the pool. She looks so beautiful in her blue one-piece bathing suit, her skin glistening and her long brown hair wet and floating around her. When the swimmer hears the gate open, she gets up from her floating position and a smile graces her face at the sight. When she looks to her see who had entered, she sees the blonde walking over to the side of the pool in a black sheer cover-up and she can tell she is wearing a two-piece suit underneath. Her hair is pulled up in a clip. She guesses the blonde doesn't want to get it wet. Alison sets her things down on a chair and Emily swims to the edge of the pool closest to her.
"Hey, you should get in the water feels amazing." The brunette muses.
"That's good to hear, God it's so hot out today." Alison says as she begins to take off her cover up, revealing the red two-piece bikini she had picked out, just for Emily.
Emily's mouth starts to water at the sight of Alison's bikini. It's a bright shade of red and the top pushes her breasts up and she's spilling out of it. Alison slides into the water next to Emily and Emily's eyes are glued on the blonde's chest. Alison notices Emily staring.
"Emily, my eyes are up here," she says with a smirk.
Emily responds with a bold "Yeah, I know'" as her eyes are still fixed on the blonde's chest and she licks her lips. The last time she saw Alison's body this exposed she was nowhere near as filled out as she is now. Emily wants to grab the other girls' bust so badly. Emily finally realizes she's been looking a little too long and finally looks up at the blonde who is still smirking at her and lightly laughs at Emily and the brunette blushes.
"You know the Emily I once knew would've never been this bold." Alison says.
"Well let's just say a lot has changed with time."
"Enlighten me?" The blonde asks as began swimming a circle around Emily.
"Do you want the watered-down version or the whole truth?"
Alison swims back to stand in front of the brunette. "I always want the truth."
Emily looks at Alison and shrugs her shoulders. She asked for it.
"Truthfully… sex is my thing. Not so much feelings… I shut that part of me down a long time ago. And because of that it resulted in many one-night stands and meaningless flings. I've broken a lot of hearts that way. There's a lot of women in California who don't care for me, to say the least, but then there's some who won't leave me alone."
Alison doesn't know why but the thought of Emily having sex with a lot of women doesn't make her feel as rage-filled as she thought it would. Especially because the brunette told her last night that she was the reason she didn't want to develop feelings for anyone.
Alison steps as close as she can to the swimmer and wraps her arms around her neck. "And now? Are feeling still not your thing now?"
Emily feels like she can't breathe with Alison this close to her barely clothed. She can't even focus on the question because all she wants to do is take the other girl right here in the pool. She decides to be honest with the other girl but still instinctively wraps her arms around the blonde's waist.
"Well, when you're this close to me I'm not sure feelings are on my mind as much as… other things." Emily takes her fingers and starts tracing circles over the blonde's hips. "Maybe we should discuss boundaries. Because if you leave it up to me, I may take things to places we can't come back from."
Alison observes how low and dark Emily's eyes already are. One thing she's learning is that Emily has little to no self-control when it comes to her. She loves that and it's such a turn-on but it makes for a difficult time taking things slow. And she knows that she doesn't always help the situation, but the brunette is extremely hard to resist. She can't help herself sometimes from egging it on.
"Well as long as you can keep your hands," Alison pauses and runs her wet fingers over Emily's lips. "And your mouth above the waist… I won't stop you."
Emily is losing control with every passing second and the blonde makes it so much worse when she touches her like that. She feels her lips burning now in a good way. Emily grabs the blonde behind her legs and Alison instinctively wraps her legs around the brunettes waist.
"This is okay right?" The brunette asks while looking at the blonde in her eyes and back and forth to her lips.
"This is perfect." Alison says before leaning in and kissing the brunette. The kiss was needy from the start. Alison kissing Emily in this pool was turning her on more than any encounters they'd had recently. Emily's mouth and skin feel slick and smooth beneath her lips and fingertips and their tongues are dancing together with ease.
Alison wraps her arms even tighter around the swimmer's neck and Emily takes one arm and slides it completely underneath the blonde's legs in the water to support her. As she does that, she takes her now free hand and palms her breast. She hums against Alison's lips in satisfaction as they are still entangling their tongues.
When Alison feels the other girl squeeze her breast she moans into Emily's mouth and at the same time the other girl is moaning as well. She remembers Emily being so gentle and she would always ask for permission before making any bold moves. But she sees now that Emily is okay with just taking what she wants and she finds that so incredibly sexy. She disconnects their lips to throw her head back in pleasure and the brunette takes the opportunity to connect her mouth with the blonde's neck. She begins sucking and nipping on the skin of her neck and Alison bites her bottom lip to avoid letting out another moan.
The teacher is trying so hard not to let things escalate any further, but she can't help but start grinding her hips down against the brunette as she works on her neck. The brunette notices the motion and starts moving with the blonde helping her get the friction she's looking for.
It is not lost on Alison that things are approaching the place Emily was saying they couldn't come back from. She really doesn't want to stop this, but she also knows her first time with Emily in so long cannot be in a public pool.
Alison grabs Emily's face and brings her back to her mouth and they engage in one more feverish kiss before Alison begins slowing it down and pecking Emily's lips. She whispers against the other girl's lips with her eyes closed, "Okay, I think this is where we need to stop it." She takes several deep breaths to regulate her breathing and Emily begins doing the same.
How they are ever going to be able to be alone together and not touch each other, the blonde has no idea.
Emily lowers Alison's legs down to the pool floor before backing up a little and running a hand through her hair. Every time she and the blonde engage in a moment like this, she feels herself becoming more and more emotionally attached to the other girl. Caring just a little bit more each time. She's happy the blonde has some self-control because Emily will fuck her any time any place, she doesn't care at all.
"Okay uhm, I think I need to do a couple of laps to cool down." Emily says while twisting her finger in her hand. Alison smiles because, of course, she needs to swim right now.
She notices Emily messing with the finger she had cut a couple of days ago and she steps closer to Emily again reaching out and grabbing her hand.
"How is this healing by the way?"
Emily looks down at the blonde inspecting her hand. "It's actually healing up really nicely. I had a great nurse." She looks at Alison smirking and Alison smiles back at her.
"Okay you go ahead and swim, I'm going to lay out and tan." She says with a smile before hopping out of the water. They both did this for about an hour before both were ready to leave the pool. When Emily gets done swimming and Alison finishes tanning, they pack up their things to leave.
When they get back to their floor of the apartment building, They both stand together in front of their doors.
"So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?" Emily asks.
"I have a couple of errands I need to run tonight. But I'll be home after that. What about you?"
Alison hates lying to the brunette. But she just doesn't want her to be worrying or thinking about what she's about to do. She had texted Rollins back while she was tanning agreeing to meet him for dinner. She's going to end it with him there. It's better this way. She's decided after this afternoon with Emily that she needs to shut down this situation with Rollins. Soon. So, she and the brunette can start fresh. No drama, nothing to interfere with them getting to know one another again and moving forward.
"This is Kammie's last night here, so we planned on having a movie night. That's if she ever comes back from this woman's house. This is so unlike her; she came back this morning to drop off my car and the girl came back 30 minutes later to pick her up and she's been gone ever since. Not that I care, we just never go back to a flings house."
Alison knows she had that talk with Kammie this morning, but she still hates the fact that she has to let her be around the brunette. But at this point, she can't do anything but trust that she is telling the truth. Even though the other girl had told her that she respected what she and Emily were building, she was not so sure she could fully trust the brunette seeing that Emily's mind was in the gutter 99% of the time that she was around her. It makes her a little nervous about if she can really keep herself in check when she's alone with Kammie, especially since she wasn't ready to go there with the brunette right now and trying to take things slow. Every time she tries to have a conversation with Emily and get to know her now, it always turns sexual. It's not entirely the brunette's fault, it's not like she was shutting her down, most of the time she goes with it. It's just strange to her how shy the brunette is whenever they're just being normal and not making out. She seems to be a woman of not too many words, just actions.
"Hmm, okay." Is all Alison can say to the response about Kammie, still not having much good to say out loud about that situation. The blonde is having an internal battle with herself at this moment. She really wants to ask the brunette what exactly it is that they're doing. She wants to know what Emily's thoughts and expectations are with their situation. It's eating her alive inside not knowing what's happening. It starts to come out.
"Emily?" She says and the brunette looks at her with expectant eyes waiting for the rest of the question, but she cowers under her gaze and decides against it, not wanting to scare the girl away this soon. She figures if she can't ask the girl what they're doing, maybe she can take the initiative and show her what she wants out of the situation.
"Would you maybe like to go out with me tomorrow night?
Emily was stunned at the question. She was slightly nervous because she hadn't been on a real date in years.
"Uh, are- are you asking me on a date?"
Alison has a small smile on her face sensing the other girl's nerves. But she doesn't know if it's the good kind or the bad kind of nerves.
"Uhm yes, I guess I am."
Emily starts to smile a little, she never thought Alison would be the one to initiate the first date but thinking about it, she doesn't know if she would've ever worked up the balls to ask the blonde first in fear of rejection. Then she remembers about Rollins.
"What about Rollins?" She asks, surprised she said his name without throwing up in her mouth.
"Don't worry about that, I told you I'd handle it and I meant it. Plus, I told you we're not in a relationship. I can go on a date if I want." The blonde still decides against telling the brunette she was handling that tonight. She knows the brunette wouldn't like the image of her meeting him for dinner regardless of if she was only going to end things.
Emily doesn't love the response, but she did say that they are supposed to be enjoying this new moment together. "Okay, what should I wear?" She responds with this as her way of saying yes, I'd love to.
"You can dress comfortably. But not too comfortable. Wear something for a nice dinner. But don't wear heels."
Emily loved that it sounded like the blonde had a plan for her.
"Okay I can do that," she says with a smile as she steps closer to Alison and sets a hand on her hip.
Alison responds by placing her hand over Emily's hand that lies on her hip and leaning forward placing a gentle kiss on the brunette's lips. "Okay, then it's a date… I'll see you tomorrow." She says with a small smile and turns away from the swimmer and heads inside her apartment. The brunette doing the same.
The blonde knows what she is doing is the right thing. She knows that ending things with Rollins now is what needs to happen. More than anything she wants to gain the full trust of the brunette. She can feel the other girl not fully letting herself be present with her and she doesn't know if it's because of Rollins or their history. Specifically, her own history of making Emily believe her feelings for her were not as serious as they really are. Either way, she knows the ball is in her court to fix this and she meant what she had said to Kammie earlier. She will do everything she can to break through Emily's walls. No pun intended.
As she pulls into the restaurant parking lot, she tries to keep this in mind as she prepares to break this man's heart. When she steps inside, she sees Rollins already sitting at the table. When he sees her approaching he stands up to greet her and pulls her chair out for her then leans in for a kiss on the lips. Alison purposely turns her head, the kiss landing on her cheek. She tried not to make it seem harsh so she kept a smile on her face and they both took a seat.
"Hi love, I feel like I've barely spoken to you this week."
"Yeah, I know I'm sorry I've just had a lot going on this week." Like making out with the sexiest long haired, tanned skinned woman on earth.
"I figured as such." He says as he looks Alison up and down. "You look amazing," Rollins leans across the table and lays his hand over Alison's. Alison was wearing a tight black skirt that went below the knee, a strappy heel, and a long-sleeve button-up shirt tucked into the skirt. The first couple of buttons on the shirt was open exposing some of her cleavage. And as usual her long blonde hair was curled to perfection falling over her shoulders.
"Thank you, and you look handsome." Alison says immediately cringing afterward. For some reason, she feels herself trying to come off as not suspicious as possible. But realistically she knows there's no point. This night is not going to end like the others, she figures she might as well just make this as short and to the point as possible. But still not harsh.
"Look, I have to talk to you about something…" The blonde inhales deeply, "I think you are the sweetest man I have ever met, and you have been so good to me, but I just don't think I can give you what you're wanting from me right now." She says almost in one breath.
Rollins looked at her confused which she expected. He retracts his hand from atop her own, taking his fingers and beginning to rub his temples.
"I don't understand, I've given you the space you wanted. I've done everything you asked of me."
"I know you have, and I am so grateful to you for that because I was able to really think about what's best for us. I think you are so amazing and deserve someone who can give you the level of love and commitment that you are searching for. And I just can't give that to you right now." She decides to take this route because there is no way she's telling him that she's working on things with her first love who is also a woman. Who is also her ex best friend that he just met a few days ago.
"This isn't a decision that came easy to me, this is why I asked you for space in the first place."
"Sure, but I just thought that everything had been going so well, is it something that I've done?"
Alison's eyebrows furrow with sadness. She knew the man would likely blame himself. "This has nothing to do with you I swear, this is all me. You did everything right and someone else is going to be very lucky to have you."
"Alison please there's no way you've thought this through. You've said nothing about being unhappy before now. Doesn't this seem a little abrupt?" Alison can see him visibly getting agitated.
"I can continue to wait for you to figure yourself out. As I've been doing with no complaints."
Alison knew he wouldn't make this easy on her, but she never realized how difficult this was going to be to get through to him. He's also not wrong. She can understand why he thinks this is abrupt. Emily had been back in her life for less than a month. God, Emily.
"Rollins, please I-"
"No, please listen to me. I love you." He says as he places his hand on her cheek. "I've waited for you to be ready, and I promise I can continue waiting,"
The blonde hangs her head, knowing that there is nothing that he can do to change her mind. She knows she's going to end up looking like the bad guy here. She takes his hand in her own and brings it down from her face.
"I've thought this through, and it's not fair for me to keep you waiting for something I don't think I'll ever be able to give you.. My mind is made up. I'm sorry." She holds Rollins hand one more time in her own but he doesn't grab her hand back, instead, he pulls away from her.
"I promise you're going to regret this, Alison."
For the first time tonight, she sees anger written across his face. She'd never seen him look like this before. She looks at him one more time and gives one more sympathetic "I'm sorry," before rising from the table and walking out of the restaurant.