A Marriage that Started a Legend

by IJustShowedUp

Follows canon but with my own arranged marriage spin on it. What happens when Hunith makes a mistake and is forced on the run with her infant son? What happens when Camelot knights find her twenty years later? What happens when Arthur learns he's betrothed to a peasant boy? Will Merlin be able to stand among royalty? Will these two different boys survive each other? Review!

146. Chapter 147

This chapter is dedicated to NannersTheSpellCastor, who had wanted to see Merlin lying in bed recovering, with Arthur going at him doing his usual complaining, and then Merlin interrupts with 'I'm never going to be free of you, am I?' So I hope they'd enjoy how I included it ;p

X

Guinevere, handmaiden to Lady Morgana, ward of King Uther himself…had always thought she'd known sadness before. Her life hadn't always been happy, though she usually tried to look on the bright side of things. But there had been no bright side of things when her mother had died, back when she had been too young to truly understand what was going on. She'd been sad when her younger brother decided to leave home, and the entire city as a whole, many years ago. But to this day, she still didn't know what happened to him…he could've very well been living his best life in some other city. She had been sad when it was her own father that had contacted the sickness that would knock the entire city onto its knees, but then her father turned out fine. He would live to see many more days. And then she'd been sad, locked away in her cell with barely a scrap of light to keep her company. But even then, she had been more terrified of what was to come than she was sad. But this…staring down at the lifeless body of a boy who had always seemed far larger than what his life had offered him…

She thought she was finally starting to understand what true sadness was. Finally starting to understand what it meant to lose somebody, and know there was no getting them back, no way to fix things that could not be fixed. Sadness seemed like it made the colors in the room a little bit darker. Made it feel as if an endless abyss was going to open up beneath her feet and swallow her whole. Made her feel as if there were giant gouges forming in the center of her chest, trying to rip her in two while she was forced to come to terms with something…something so unimaginable, it literally hurt just to look at him. But then it brought the question…how could Gwen not look at him? It was like saying goodbye, the second she did.

She wasn't ready to say goodbye, she had just been getting to really know him. Just starting to see him as…as a friend. It was not too long ago, she had still been stuttering and trying to get a strong balance between how she was allowed to talk with the boy who bore the title of consort. Torn between being a friend to the boy she had met tied in the stocks, and the servant that she was who needed to address her consort with every ounce of the dignity his title deserved. She hadn't known him for long and yet, he'd done more for her than most people would in her entire lifetime to come…how could this hurt her so much?

How was it even fair for somebody to bring Merlin into her life just to cruelly take him away before she was ready? What was the point…had Merlin only came into her life to save her? And now that his job was done….the fates were going to just decide to take him from her? Gwen had always heard that there were certain people that came into somebody's life, and were there only to change them. In subtle ways, sometimes. And in much larger ways in other times, like Merlin was to her. She had also heard people saying life was fleeting, which was why they had to take every scrap of life given to them while they still had the breath in their body.

Gwen just hadn't been aware of how fleeting life was, until she had it staring her in the face.

"He's…Gaius…he's dead. He's dead. He's…"

Guinevere felt as if she was on repeat mode, the same exact sentence ringing in her mind, but it was the only thing she was able to get her lips to say. Circling around her head, being so completely unrelenting in its grasp on her. Life a raven sinking its claws into her scalp and splintering the top of her skull from the rest of her body…she sounded so frail. Ash coated its way along the insides of her mouth, tears brimmed along the lids of her eyes and yet, they didn't fall. She'd always been aware that they could lose this fight for Merlin's life…had been fully aware of one single slip up that would give them the results they saw now. But they had done everything right, had done everything in their power…

Arthur and his mission to get the antidote…

Gaius keeping constant watch over him…

Leon never allowing Merlin out of his sight…

And Gwen…

Gwen had went down into the dungeons not once, but twice in such a short time frame. She had faced her fears, and she had not allowed her own hang ups to stop her from doing what she needed to do. She had learned that from Merlin. And all of the life lessons he hadn't even known he'd been teaching her this whole time. And yet…it still hadn't been enough. None of what they had done had been enough.

Not even knowing this was a possibility, not even seeing it was coming…had been enough to prepare her for the inevitable.

This was just so hard to connect in her mind. So hard for her to accept. It was as if Gwen couldn't make sense of what had actually happened. Couldn't understand how it was possible for a person to literally be standing right next to her during one second. And then be gone from the world in the next….not for the first time in the last few seconds, a question rang through her head…

How could life be so cruel?

How could the world be so cruel to somebody like Merlin?

Why did people like Arthur, got to live. People who hurt others without nary a thought to what they had done. And yet, people like Merlin, who wouldn't be able to hurt a fly, somehow ended up with the short end of the stick. Another thing Gwen always heard…it was the good people that always died young. But this was just another thing Gwen hadn't realized was true, until she was forced to recognize how incredibly unfair this was. Unfair for Merlin…unfair for her…unfair for Gaius…and unfair for all of the people Merlin should have met. Should have met and may have helped like he'd helped her. But was never going to, since he was now cocooned in death's cold embrace.

Leaving the rest of them to go on without him by their side.

"He can't be…he can't be…it was his destiny…"

Gaius was muttering these words madly at her side, and Gwen saw the way he took several steps back. As if he couldn't leave enough space between them…looking just as horrified as all of them did. But Gwen couldn't even begin to think of how much pain Gaius was going through. Merlin was her friend. But he'd also been Gaius' nephew, his family. Gwen couldn't even begin to fathom how much this had to be effecting the older man…if it hurt him even half as much as it was hurting her, well then…she wouldn't wish this kind of pain on her worse enemy.

And pain he had to be in, muttering all crazy like…destiny? She didn't know what destiny was or what Merlin's destiny was, but she knew it couldn't have been like this. Dead months before he even made it out of his teenaged years. Surrounded by the only people in the city that seemed to care for him, minus one or two that couldn't be here. It didn't seem like enough, like he should have had thousands of people squeezing into this room just to wish his goodbye. Speaking of how they hoped to some day see him again once they themselves stepped over the line of the great divide that separated the land of the living and the realm of the dead. With candles glowing and baskets of goods placed at the doorstep as offerings for the grieving family that needed all the support they could get.

Care packages would do nothing to alleviate their pain.

But Merlin deserved nothing less than to go out like the fixture of the community he should've been.

"This can't be possible, Gaius! You said all he needed was the flower! You said that! You said Arthur would get it, and then he would be fine. So what happened?! What went wrong?" Spoke Leon, his voice vibrating with anger as his entire body seemed to be shaking, demanding answers from Gaius. But Gwen was able to vaguely recognize the truth…grief that stricken people down to their core could manifest in different ways. Gaius was stuck in a permanent state of shock, and Gwen felt as if she'd sink straight through the floor if she tried to move a muscle…but Leon was different. His grief came out with anger, being so completely powerless to do anything more than what the two of them had done. And completely powerless to offer anymore help than what he'd done by guarding Merlin from threats that had never came. "How the hell am I suppose to tell Arthur…this was probably the one mission he's ever actually given me that didn't come directly from his father. And you didn't see exactly how Arthur was staring at me, you didn't see how serious he'd been about Merlin's protection. How am I supposed to tell him I've failed? How am I supposed to…?"

Gwen's throat tightened, and she almost wanted to scream at him…scream at a knight…and demand to know how he thought Arthur was an appropriate topic to bring up right now. How his name shouldn't even be mentioned in Merlin's presence…what little goodwill she might have felt after his little trick to get her the flower seemed to have drained out of her with the ultimate death of Merlin. But then she heard Leon's voice cracking and she almost understood, in some twisted way as she struggled to muddle her way through her grief stricken mind. This would be Leon's way of coping…he was just as affected by all of this as they were. Maybe not as much, because they had actually known Merlin. They'd spent more time with him. Talked to and with him. Saw him as more than just as accessory to Arthur's crown, seeing him not as somebody that was clinging onto the coattails of a nobleman in the hopes of gaining power.

Whatever brief interactions Leon'd had Merlin in the past could not have compared with what the three of them have had.

But he was affected all the same.

And the only way Leon could cope was acting as if things were normal. As if this had been nothing more than just an ordinary mission that had unfortunately failed. And it would be his duty to now inform Prince Arthur of the death of his consort…Gwen would not want to be a fly on the wall for the conversation. She really couldn't tell which direction Arthur was going to go once he heard the news…if he would be happy about it? He had hurt Merlin so badly in the past, it made sense that he would try to celebrate his loss. But Merlin was also his consort, and that…it had to mean something to him.

Didn't it?

A sob broke from Gwen's throat before she could even try and contain it, so heavy and wet she wasn't even sure if that noise had came from her. But another one bubbled out of her, and it made Gwen bring a hand up to her face, trying to hide how she was feeling-her anguish and her pain-from the other men who stood before her. Her knees were starting to tremble…she did not know if she would be able to return home in this state. Did not know if she wanted to return home…how could she inform her father that the hope for their kingdom was gone? How was it possible for her to look her father in the eye, and admit that her friend was gone. Not only that, but how things could have been so much different if she had only been fast enough and smart enough…maybe if that knight hadn't stopped her from leaving only so he could get a bite of his precious bread…the Royal physician grabbed onto her before she could crumble to her knees, dragging her head into his shoulder so she could cry in the half-privacy she deserved.

"I don't want you to dare bring that name up to me again, do you hear me, Leon? As far as I am concerned, Prince Arthur Pendragon is dead to me. He's the reason Merlin life is over, he's the reason he went down this path. If he'd never treated Merlin the way he did, then perhaps Merlin wouldn't have been acting as rashly as he did." Gaius hissed sharply at Leon, just daring the other knight to try and defend the sick fuck that he knew to be Arthur Pendragon to his face. Not now. Not as his nephew's body still held the warmth of life to it…that would've been the fastest way for Leon to get booted from these rooms, with probably a glass bottle of whatever random poison Gaius picked up first being thrown at the back of his head. To be an added incentive to get the hell out while he still could. Seeing that Leon held no more words, Gaius turned back to Gwen and tried comforting her, "Shhh, no need for tears. Merlin wouldn't want to see us crying, you know how much he hated when one of us was sad. Don't blame yourself for this…it's just as much my fault as it is His. I should have looked after him better…or I should have kept Arthur away from him. But I didn't, and now we have…"

Gaius squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears he was soothing from Gwen's own face. Wrapping his arms more tightly around her slim body, trying not to think of why he had his shoulder being soaked through with tears. Or why Gwen's entire body was shaking worse than a leaf in the breeze….the physician could mourn his loss at an appropriate time. Right now though…there was so much that needed to be done. He needed to start preparing Merlin's body for his funeral rights…needed to inform Uther of the passing so Gaius could know if his nephew would be allowed a royal funeral. Or if he needed to plan a much smaller ones for just the people who actually knew and wanted to be around Merlin. He also needed to take some time off, schedule a few weeks free of his duties so he could travel to Ealdor.

He needed to visit Merlin's mother.

His little sister.

…Hunith.

And tell her entrusting Merlin into his care had been the worst mistake of her life. And tell her his life was hers to do with like she pleased…it was only right for Hunith to decide what Gaius should and shouldn't do. If he should be allowed to live for not doing his familiar duties to Merlin as best as he could. For not being there like he should have been. And pray to god that he didn't run into Arthur before he left the town…he would end up on the pyre for attacking the prince if he saw him right now. And he doubted Uther would send Hunith a letter of notice of her son's passing…this kind of news needed to come from the family anyway. But Gaius honestly didn't know if Hunith would consider him family, his inaction towards Merlin and what he'd known was going on was inexcusable. He should have put a lid on it the second he suspected Arthur was getting out of line…. he'd foolishly thought Merlin was a married man now, and was therefore an adult. And could handle his marital issues on his own unless he came to him personally for help…

He should have gotten himself involved anyway.

And now look at him, fighting back tears that should've never been shed.

Leon seemed to have at least gotten the message, because he cleared his throat and nodded his head. This was a moment of quiet. Of reflection. Of time needed, turmoil shed, peace never to be found…and Gaius turned away when he saw Leon leaning down to grab onto the edge's of Merlin's blanket, tugging all of the cloth out from underneath him. Solemn face as ever. Gaius could not bear witness to Leon trying to respectfully cover up Merlin's face. So his body wouldn't be just out in the open like it was…his heart clenched uncomfortably as he tightened hard around Gwen. Dragging her closer and needing the contact as he ran a hand through the wild puff of brown she always called her hair.

No man should outlive the children in their family…

X

Merlin Pendragon wasn't entirely sure where he was at first. It was like everything was dark, there weren't even shadows cast about to give him some sort of direction as to where he was or where he was supposed to be going. He wasn't in the midst of endless fog either, doomed to chase his own tail until he would get drawn out by whatever catastrophe Arthur got himself into without Merlin there to warn him about it. Nor was he in any of the forests or the cave that said Arthur had pulled him into…

It was just an endless black void and he was floating directly in the middle.

He was pretty sure he could hear something…something that was trickling on the very reassesses of his subconsciousness, but he couldn't quite make it out. And nowhere he turned was giving him any answers. He was just greeted with more of this endless darkness. He was pretty sure it sounded like the way a girl cried, but…there were no girls crying over him? There was not even any girls here 'to' cry over him. So maybe this was all a sign that he had finally lost his marbles. Arthur had went and done the impossible and finally drove him mad and now there were crying girls where there were no girls. It would make so much bloody sense! But it didn't make sense at all either…

He was so cold, there was a certain chill to his skin that did not make any sense. He hadn't been cold when he'd been walking around in the middle of that endless fog. He hadn't even been warm or heated. Just…normal. But now, the chill was all he felt, as well as something else plastering to his skin. Sweat? Or was it cloth? Both? Or maybe it was neither, and Merlin was simply getting his wires crossed again. When nothing made sense, it only made sense that everything was upside down but this did not make any sense either…was he drugged? Merlin felt like he was drugged…his eyelids seemed to feel as if they weighed at least a thousand pounds. With something crusty attaching to them, keeping them closed…Merlin tried to groan but his lips felt as if they had been glued shut.

Good god, when was the last time he had probably cleaned up after himself? Maybe that was it. Maybe Merlin had fallen into one of his depressive states again and laid himself in bed right after the poisoning, and just hadn't…what? Gotten himself out of bed again? Had he been lying here like some kind of strange vegetable for weeks on end until he was nothing more than the useless lump of wood on a log? What a bloody nightmare that had to be…exactly how long has he been like this. Let's see, he tried thinking on what the last thing he remembered was and…

It was Arthur.

Merlin vaguely remembered seeing Arthur climbing up a stone wall. He remembered something with multiple legs and creepy glowing red eyes…spiders? And flowers…and then Arthur was standing on the top of a grassy plane area and just staring at him. And then…everything had gone dark? No, it hadn't gone dark. Merlin had just drifted off again…because none of that'd been real. Just some manifestation in his mind of the man he'd wanted Arthur to be but wasn't. Just a dream…which meant all of it had been a dream. The cliffs and the woman…Cara…could she be just part of the dream as well? A figure Merlin had used to filled in to take on the role of 'enemy' since Gaius didn't like her?

Fuck.

Merlin's brain still felt as if it was made out of mush. And the only thing one needed was a spoon to scrape the insides of his brain clean. He tried opening his eyes again, but his eyelashes barely fluttered…if everything was a dream, then what was the last thing he 'really' remembered. He remembered…drinking a goblet. The silver goblet…the one that had poison in it. Yes, he could see it coming a bit clearer in his head. He remembered it in pieces, details he hadn't been thinking of at the time…

Like how heavy the goblet had been clenched within his sweat coated hand.

Like the wine had smelled like the sweetest of sins, perfuming up into his face when he had raised the goblet up to his lips as an attempt to lure the unsuspecting into its vile grasps.

And then he'd fallen…had he fallen? He thought so. He could still feel how cold and hard the floor had been beneath him as he started to lose feeling in his limbs. Could feel nothing but the risk of death encasing every inch of his veins and muscles and bloodstream…could see Arthur. Had he seen Arthur? Just before he'd lost consciousness? Fuck, that would certainly be an explanation for how Arthur had ended up in his dreams. The prince had clearly needed to check whether or not his stupid consort had finally offed himself all proper like…

Merlin's eyes finally cracked open, and he hissed sharply. He'd only made a little slit in his eyes, but the light seemed to burn his retinas. It wasn't even all that bright in the room, but it was like everything in Merlin was overreacting to even the smallest bit of friction. And that was just the areas of his body he could actually move…the cloth moving across his legs and up across his chest was doing him no favors. Almost causing some kind of friction burn due to sensitivity that made him want to shield away, but his actual limbs weren't moving. He could twitch his fingers now, but it would take a few more moments for the rest of his body to catch onto him wanting to move. Move where…it wasn't really all that clear to him. But he knew he would never want to be in this uncomfortable position again in all his life…

Was he dead?

For real, this time?

And not in whatever weird purgatory that fog had been. Had he finally reached his 'final' destination? And if he had gotten to his 'final destination'…why did it look like Leon? Merlin had to blink his eyes a few more times for his vision to clear up, for the burning in his retinas to dim down to nothing more than a dull ache that caused the temples in his head to hurt-one may have thought true death would be a bit less painful-but yes. It was definitely Leon leaning over him. Leaning over him with a…blanket? Merlin blinked again, unable to really comprehend the facts being laid out in front of him.

Him on bed…

Leon with him…

Blanket covering face…

No…still not entirely understanding the situation. And not sure if he wanted to understand. Because heaven, hell…whatever it was…sure had a real funny way of throwing a welcoming party. Who the hell thought dressing up like Leon was a good idea to have? Merlin hadn't really particularly thought much about the other knight since, well, since the man had all but disappeared on him after delivering him to Uther. Save for a brief moment here or there. But perhaps the fluttering of his lashes was the only thing Merlin needed to do to catch attention from the look alike, because the man glanced down at him, the twitching just enough to catch out the corner of his eye.

And thank fuck, because Merlin couldn't be expected to talk to him when his mouth felt like sandpaper had scraped the inside of it raw.

Regardless of Merlin's inability to speak though, he still wasn't expecting the reaction he got. The way false Leon's face went slack with shock, eyes roving over Merlin's face as if he'd just seen a ghost. God. What was his problem? It wasn't as if he'd been the one poisoned and left for dead…then the heavy cloth slipped from false Leon's fingers, landing directly on top of his chest with a dull thud. It was almost heavy and suffocating for a boy whose forearms were just now starting to regain feeling in them. Merlin gave the false Leon a dull glare, unable to find the strength within himself to muster up anything more than a little movement here or there. And still, the false Leon said not a word, his mouth moving up and down in shock though Merlin definitely heard 'something.'

Even if it wasn't coming from Leon himself.

Merlin shifted his eyes away from the knight, unable to muster up even enough strength to shove the ridiculously heavy cloth off him-seriously, it didn't look like it should be that heavy, but maybe it was just him and his sore muscles and his…well, the entirety of his body was aching-and he stopped when his eyes landed on a new sight. And he stopped again, and he blinked a few times just to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks with him again, like the whole forest and cave thing was clearly only a trick of his subconsciousness. But no, the image stayed right in front of him, doing nothing to change. The noise Merlin had been hearing all this time really was a girl crying…Gwen. But he didn't know why she was crying, she had her back to him so it wasn't as if he had any hope of asking her. Even if the insides of his throat continued feeling as if he had just swallowed this particularly vicious cat who was now angrily scratching at the soft meat of his insides. But the strangest part of all was…

His own uncle.

Hugging her close.

Pulling her tight.

Rubbing his hands through her hair.

Maybe Merlin was just a little more messed up in the head than he thought he was, because the embrace looked distinctly like romance to him. And sure, one could argue Merlin didn't know a damn thing about romance or what it was meant to look like when it was directly in front of him. But that didn't escape how absolutely surreal this was. Merlin had only been around for a few months and even he knew he only got hugs from his uncle whenever he initiated it. Gaius wasn't exactly the touchy feely kind of person on his own…

"That's got to be the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my entire life. You should be ashamed of yourself." Merlin said in a croaky voice, almost surprised he was able to get anything out. Though he may as well have been an eighty year old man who'd done nothing but drink straight mead for eight hours out of the day everyday. But somebody had to say something, as it was clear the false Leon wasn't going to say anything. Doing nothing more than staring at him as if he wanted to try to poke him just to see if he was real or not. Gaius should know better than to engage in romances with a teenage girl, yet alone one of his only friends…maybe Gaius shouldn't even try to have a relationship of any kind. It was just too strange to think about, a man of Gaius' age doing anything Merlin had once dreamed of doing with his own lover. Romantic hugs and hands held as they walked through the forest… "You've got to be older than her own grandfather is."

There was a momentary pause where Merlin wasn't sure they heard him. Maybe this was just a whole new vision where the truth is…he wasn't really here. It wasn't like the Arthur inside of his head could hear him when he'd been accusing Cara of setting a trap for him. Maybe this was the same deal, and he really hadn't woken up in a whole new plane of existence. But then Gwen was throwing herself out of Gaius' arms, spinning on her heel with her skirts flying around her ankles to look at him. With the same stunned look of disbelief that had been on the false Leon's face. And then Gaius was there, looking over her shoulder so he could get a good look at Merlin too. Merlin was starting to feel uncomfortable with the sudden amount of attention on him, and Merlin was able to get enough feeling in his muscles to get himself moving. At least enough to push up to his elbows, so he wasn't as vulnerable as he was just lying flat on the bed. The blanket fell down around his waist and still the people continued to stare at him. And stare. And stare, and stare…until one brave soul finally spoke up.

"Merlin…you're alive…"

Merlin's eyes snapped around to land on Gaius, as the words fell from his lips. Dripping heavy with disbelief…Merlin's throat grew impossibly dryer. And he stared uncomprehending…alive. His uncle had just said, you're alive. Merlin had been under the impression that this was some kind of death dimension, maybe a place where people got to go after they died so they got the chance to see their loved ones once more before moving onto whatever was next for him. But being actually 'alive' would not have been something Merlin anticipated. He was supposed to be dead right now, he had been counting on being dead right now so he wouldn't be confronted about the choices he'd went and made. It was even more surreal than the idea of Gwen and Gaius becoming this secret couple, hiding because of just how many generations they had between them.

…Alive.

And just because Merlin didn't actually believe him, he had to press his own hand against his chest. Trying to feel for a beat to indicate his heart was still moving inside of him…he almost startled when his hand first came in contact with the rougher cloth of his familiar nightshirt. He hadn't been wearing clothes earlier, he'd been naked, his bits dangling freestyle at he had stood in the middle of grassy planes…no. Merlin had to stop and remind himself that none of that had been real. He hadn't been standing naked in a forest. He hadn't had Arthur ride by him on horseback and completely ignoring his frail and horrid-disfigured-body. He'd been clothed, in…in that fancy getup all royals had to wear. But clearly he'd been changed to different clothes at some point…Merlin wasn't sure whether or not that was some kind of violation of his body. He didn't want another to see how his ribs stuck out of his skin, or how his stomach is all but caved in, or how…Merlin swallowed hard and pushed his way past all of that.

He didn't need to get stuck with his own body dystopia all over again. He needed to concentrate on whether or not he'd gone and did the impossible task of returning to the land of life…and so, Merlin pressed his hand more firmly against his chest. Took a few moments before he could feel anything, but yes…he was sure it was there. As sure as he knew his name was Merlin and he was a screwup-couldn't even die without having somehow managed to bollux the whole thing up. The steady beating that went on in his chest did very little to reassure him of having his mortality returned to him. He could feel his heart dropping like a stone straight to his feet…he was still here. Which meant the opening for more hurt from Arthur was still there. Which meant he was a complete and utter failure…who the fuck screwed up when they were trying to die?

It felt like it would be the easiest thing in the world…dying. The human body was so frail, pretty much anything seemed able to kill it off. Merlin could jump out a window and smash his brains all over the courtyard. He could go for a walk in the forest and antagonize a poisonous snake until it bit him. He could've took one of Arthur's precious blades and slit his own throat or wrist to get the job done. He could have drunken one of his uncle's many potions and had an overdose, or skip straight past them and drink the straight up poison. Or he could be this dramatic motherfucker who committed suicide in a room full of Camelot and their important royal guests….the point is, there was just so many ways he could have gone about this. And he'd gone and somehow chosen the one option that wasn't going to end with his body on a slab of concrete as people discussed what to do with his lifeless corpse. But…Gaius, and Gwen, and Leon -seriously, what was he even doing here-was still staring down at him. And Merlin had to do something quick…

"…Are you sure I'm actually alive, because I don't really feel as if I am." Merlin said, with an almost sickly smile. Emphasize on the sickly, he felt as if he was going to need a bucket. But this was what he did, why he had tried to kill himself…always trying to put himself on the hook so others wouldn't know how badly disappointed he was. He didn't want to see what his uncle and friend would look like if they knew…if they knew Merlin wasn't exactly happy about being saved. Or whatever they had done to bring him back. "In fact, perhaps I'm just a ghost. A person meant to haunt you for the rest of your days until you join me in the afterlife. Or maybe I'm some reanimated corpse? Would that better describe me…somebody who's going to follow you around until I decide I'm done?"

It was meant to be a joke, just something stupid Merlin could play around with to hide his own disappointment from them…it didn't work out as planned. And Merlin's smile wiped straight off his face as the false Leon-wait, no, he had to be Real Leon, if he was alive-made some kind of choked off sound. As if that had been the last thing he expected for Merlin to say after he'd just woken up, but…in retrospect. It probably was the very last thing Leon expected him to say. It hadn't exactly been resting on top of Merlin's list of 'things to say when one woke up from a failed poisoning. But…this whole situation was just so fucked up entirely. Especially since he still had his whole dream stuck in his head…the dream of a world where Arthur was exactly the kind of man Merlin would have wanted to be married too.

A man who would risk it all just to save somebody they loved…

But Merlin's eyes roamed around the room on auto pilot and he was not surprised to see there was nobody else there. No sign of Arthur having ever been there to even visit him for all of five brief minutes. Which meant…his dream really had been simply a dream. He had already known that, of course, but the reality of it nearly crushed him in two. He couldn't exactly say he was surprised, he wouldn't even want Arthur there if he did turn up at the door. But…Merlin could only just imagine his prince was off enjoying his day without Merlin there to mess something up with just his mere presence alone. Perhaps he was enjoying a romantic picnic for two in the forests with Lady Clarissa. Or he was introducing her to his father properly, get started with the next marriage to come even before his confirmed death…and the consort sagged against the headboard of the bed. Feeling as if he didn't have the strength to hold up his own body for a single second more.

Merlin Pendragon was stuck in his thoughts, falling deeper into the abyss he had thought he'd escaped from…when Gwen was moving out of nowhere. Faster than his sluggish mind could've kept up with. He had no chance to move. No chance to defend himself against the onslaught of her attack. Not even his own magic-so weak inside of him, flattened down to nothing as his body tried recuperating from the strain he had put on it-stirred to protect him. One second, she had been standing there, and the next she was on top of him. Her arms flying until they were wrapping around his neck, which wouldn't have been an issue …touching was a no go for him. But for Gwen, he would make an exception if all she wanted was a hug.

He hadn't been expecting her lips to land on his.

He wasn't expecting for her to kiss him.

Merlin's eyes went wider than dinner plates, his brain forced to focus fully on his situation instead of his constant drowning in the abyss. Whenever Merlin wished to have something he was able to use to distract himself from the darkness in his soul, he had never considered a kiss would do the job. It didn't seem to be anything more than a press of her lips against his own…with no fancy tricks to excite him, or desperation to show he'd gone and excited 'her.' But the press of lips was warm and weird and unpleasant…his arms flew about because he didn't know what to do with them but he couldn't touch her either. If he did, he'd probably hurt her by trying to shove her off…or panic because he had no idea what the hell this was supposed to be. An off-putting situation for sure, and not one Merlin had expected he would ever find himself in. Especially not with his best friend…

Gwen seemed to have realized what she was doing though and how entirely inappropriate it was, and promptly jerked her own body away from him as if he had just struck her. Gwen looked horrified, embarrassed in herself as she brought her hands up to cover her lips. Merlin would have been offended-surely his kissing, if one wanted to call the quick press of lips together a real kiss-if he wasn't still reeling from what happened. Had his first kiss just been stolen from him by Gwen…well he supposed there were worse ways to have it taken. It could've been taken from him that night in the armory by Valiant. He could've been counting the kiss he'd shared with Arthur on their wedding day as his first kiss…fuck. He could deny it all he wanted, but Gwen hadn't stolen his first kiss. That had been Arthur. She had only taken his second, which…wasn't as bad as the first? Though it definitely wasn't an experience he was going to repeat…

"I'm sorry, truly! I didn't mean…I just…I thought you were dead and I…reacted. When you weren't." Gwen stuttered, one would have thought her very life depended on her getting this right…her cheeks were stained a ruddy red color. And Merlin couldn't do much more than blink at her, trying to get his bearings a bit straighter…his lips still stung from the warmth. But it made him want to wrinkle his nose…he had certainly never tried his luck at kissing just because somebody was alive. "But I mean, that was entirely inappropriate and it shan't happen again. I guess I allowed my happiness to get away from me for a moment there but I shouldn't have…went and kissed you, I mean."

Gwen continued stuttering her apologies as Merlin nodded a bit dumbly. He almost wanted to lick his lips to try and erase the taste of Gwen-sweetness, just like her-from his lips. But he was sure that would look badly on him, as if he might've been enjoying her attentions…he hadn't. But he didn't feel violated like he would have if it had been somebody else. It felt like he had just been kissed by a sister. Albeit, a highly inappropriate kiss that should never happen between siblings, but he'd been kissed by a sister nonetheless. And let's just say…if Merlin had any doubts about being gay before, this event would've gone and cleared that from his mind as well. At least he could thank Gwen for solidifying his own sexuality in his head…as if he had not already been sure of what he was.

"No, no. It's…I mean…it's fine. I'm not upset with you, I just did not expect it. It was…" Merlin trailed off, realizing he probably did not want to finish that sentence. He didn't know much with girls, but he was pretty sure anything he said right now would only make Gwen feel insulted about her feminine charms and kissing abilities…he was positive there was nothing wrong with either of them! He had just been…the wrong man to test them on. And Gaius and Leon were whipping their heads in-between the two of them, as if they didn't know what they should do in a situation like this. Leon was probably contemplating whether or not he should have Gwen tossed out on her arse for trying to sully a royal family member with her peasant lips…the young consort pointedly cleared his throat and pushed himself back into a half-sitting position, "So…what happened to me after all the chaos? How am I alive now? What did you guys do to save me? I don't really…I'm not sure how much I actually remember, you know."

Merlin darted his eyes between the three of them, knowing he didn't really want to hear what they had to say. Didn't want to hear about how long it had taken before Arthur had ran off to do only god knows what while he'd been dying. But he wanted Leon to throw Gwen out even less…even with her kiss, he knew he didn't want Gwen to leave his side. She was this comfort he rarely got, a confident in which to share what little bits of him that he could…a sister in all but blood. A sister who didn't like him like her kiss might have suggested to a stranger seeing it happen…Gwen opened her mouth to answer him…

"GUINEVERE!"

Everybody seemed to straighten up, the shock of anger that came from that one voice enough to rattle the nerves of every person in the room. Merlin's already pale skin turned far more ghastly than it already was…Arthur Pendragon was standing in the open doorway, with Morgana peering over his shoulder. He seemed to be literally shaking, his hand tight enough along the door handle that he could have crushed it into dust. And there were flowers in his other hand, almost bent beyond anybody's recognition…flowers? Merlin didn't think too much on them…he swallowed hard and shrunk back against the headboard.

Nobody had heard the door swinging open. But from the way Arthur's eyes were darting between Merlin and Gwen, it was clear how long Arthur Pendragon had been standing there.

…he'd seen the kiss.

X

Arthur Pendragon could confidently say he had imagined this moment many times in the last few days, probably more than what was strictly necessary. He had imagined all the different ways Merlin would react when seeing Arthur after he opened up his eyes…like sleeping beauty being kissed awake after the nasty witch had poisoned her. How sweetly Merlin would have been smiling at him, dazed from his recovery but knowing that his life was owed to Arthur. How he might even try and hug the prince because he couldn't contain himself after knowing what Arthur had done for him. But those was the more light hearted fantasies he'd had…he wasn't counting all the times he'd been sure Merlin was going to be upset with him instead.

He would have to say though, out of all the sceneries Arthur'd considered, walking in on Guinevere-the woman he trusted his consort's life too when he passed on the flower to her-kissing his consort had not been one of them. He didn't even get the chance to enjoy Merlin's eyes on him-he was awake! He woke up! He was alive! Arthur had finally done something good for him-because Guinevere had ruined it. She had ruined his one moment to make a good new first impression on Merlin. It felt as if she had stolen this moment from him. Twisting it towards her liking before making it her own moment. One that wouldn't include Arthur…it was betrayal. Treasonous wrench…going out of her way to steal his consort before Arthur had the chance to make his move.

Had Gwen been planning this entire thing this entire time? Had she taken Arthur being stuck in his cell as an opportunity to try and woo Merlin onto her with her feminine wiles? Decided she would be a better fit for Merlin, and damn fucking Arthur…the prince should have her bloody arrested on the spot. Soiling his consort with her feminine lips….pressing her feminine breasts against his consort's flat chest, as if he would be swayed over by such a cheap and obvious trick. The rush of blood swirling in his veins made him feel heated, trembling with his anger at her…he felt…he felt like he had the day he'd gone off the deep end and snapped at Merlin. The day he had smacked him after learning he was nothing more than a cheap whore…the bruises on Merlin's face were starting to yellow. Still molted with these various shades of purple, but starting to shift in some places here and there. And all Arthur could think about was Gwen and her dirty, filthy hands cupping his consort's cheeks. Touching along Arthur's markings as if they were her own. Trying to get a claim on Merlin by overwriting his own. And all Arthur wanted to do was cup a hand around Merlin's pale cheek and press on that bruise a little…just to see the twinge of pain on his face as Arthur reminded him he would always belong to him…despite any extracurricular activities with other people.

Fuck!

Arthur was supposed to have been better than this! He was supposed to sidle inside, be all suave and interesting and win Merlin back into his good graces. Show a gentler side to Merlin so they could act as if the last three or so months hadn't really happened. But all it had taken was one moment…one moment from bloody Guinevere of all people, for Arthur to feel as if he had just backtracked all of the progress he might have made within the last few days. He hadn't risked it all, hadn't yelled andfought against his own father, just for Merlin to run off so he could make kissy faces at Guinevere. Arthur hadn't even bloody known Guinevere could've been a fucking threat!

SHE WAS A BLOODY WOMAN!

WHY THE HELL WAS HIS CONSORT FUCKING KISSING ON A BLOODY WOMAN!

WASN'T HE THE ONE ALWAYS SCREAMING ABOUT HOW HE WAS GAY?

ARTHUR WOULD GIVE HIM FUCKING HELL FOR THIS…and the flowers beneath his grip cracked loudly as Arthur broke some of the stems. Leaving them looking as nothing more than just a sad excuse for flowers. Nothing impressive or grand enough to hand his consort…Merlin probably didn't even deserve to have Arthur go through the effort of getting him these stupid horrid daises if a woman had been able to tempt him.

Maybe he should have searched harder for wildflowers. Maybe Merlin wouldn't be on the verge of trying to leave him if he had gotten the damn wildflowers Morgana had been wanting to get earlier.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean too. I mean…" Gwen stuttered in a shell shocked voice, backing away from the prince nervously only to back into the bed frame of Merlin's cot. The bed made a rattling sound that caught Arthur's eye immediately, and his scowl darkened. He didn't appreciate seeing his own consort's healing bed being shaken about as if it were a damn toy. Since Merlin was supposed to be HEALING, and not fucking toying about with girls. Gwen seemed to notice Arthur's agitation just as Merlin did, because she paled a little, before using the very same excuse she had used with Merlin. "I…I thought he'd gone and died. And so I…kissed him…"

Arthur's eyes returned back to Guinevere, sharpened into fine points, glinting more dangerously than that of razor wire. And Gwen fell silent with a little squeak, like a mouse just waiting to fall into the trap Arthur wanted to shove her into. Everybody in the room was staring at him, waiting for him to be the decider on how this conversation was going to go. And Arthur's eyes fell back onto Merlin-so sickly looking, so weak that he needed to have Arthur's protection, but not weak enough he couldn't have fun with somebody else at Arthur's expense-and his lip lifted into a half sneer. He had known about Merlin's ways and how he was, he had seen it with his own eyes when he'd been flirting with that knight in the middle of town square. But there was something particularly souring about seeing something so much more physical actually happening directly in front of his eyes, with the last person he expected it from. In that moment, he actually 'wanted' to kill Gwen. Something dark and bloody in his veins swirling dangerously…then the silence was finally broken.

"Oh, everybody needs to stop being so sour and lighten up a bit! In case everybody's forgotten, Merlin is awake! That has to be a moment of celebration! Not a moment for Arthur to have a testosterone filled fit." Morgana bursted out, literally shoving Arthur out of her way with her scrawny elbow jabbing into his side to get into the room. Morgana seemed to be the only one who was calm about everything, as if this was a perfectly good day. As if Arthur wouldn't have been currently celebrating the swift recovery of his consort if bloody Guinevere hadn't gotten into the mix. But Morgana continued strolling into the room as if she owned the place, flashing a cheeky grin in the still pale Guinevere's direction. "Though we really do have to talk about this a bit more later. I think your apparent percent for kissing a dead guy is something that should be addressed. Especially a dead guy who you said, correct me if I'm wrong, but just a few weeks ago, was like an annoying little brother to you. I hardly need to ask you if you would kiss your actual brother Elyan like that if he was in this situation."

Morgana seemed to think her little joke was funny, though not a soul thought bringing Elyan's name into something like this was a good call. Gwen seemed to flush harder at the mention of her long gone little brother, but Morgana simply swept into the room and took her seat on the edge of Merlin's cot. Where she swept Merlin into a hug, burying his face directly into the side of her neck. Where he would no doubt, be able to smell all of her perfume coming from her. The insides of Arthur's chest BURNED…first it was Gwen trying to make herself known to his consort in a more…personal…manner. And now it looked as if it was Morgana making a play for Merlin's affections. Good god, if he hadn't been raised as strictly as he had been, Arthur may have reacted more harshly than glaring at them. He might have strode forward, grabbed Morgana by a handful of her long and dark hair, before dragging her out of the room. She could just make her goggly eyes at Merlin outside, where his consort was not able to see them and be swayed by the thickness of those eyelashes fluttering at him. Arthur barely noticed when his one knight strode forward, until he was directly in front of him.

"I would like to say this has been a successful mission, young princeling." Leon said formally, getting down onto one knee to bow his head before the 'young princeling'. With one arm lying across the top of his knee, Leon looked every bit of the knight who carried the dignified grace within him. Arthur barely gave a sniff of his nose, clearly more than displeased with the exact success of Leon's mission. But Leon peddled ahead, giving the prince a brief report that Arthur didn't ask for, but soaked up quite readily. Every bit of knowledge he could discern about his consort was knowledge he wasn't going to turn away. "-And as you can see, the antidote did what's it's designed to do. Your consort will make a swift recovery and be ready to rejoin society soon enough."

Arthur sniffed again, watching in burning disdain as Morgana pulled out of her hug with Merlin. But she still had one hand pressed along the side of his neck, his forehead far too close to her own as Morgana quietly chatted to him. Probably asking him how he was really, but Merlin seemed to be non-verbal, as he nodded. Arthur's chin went tight, he didn't want Merlin off answering whatever inappropriate questions Morgana had for him. He wanted the consort to answer 'his' questions, and to explain his horrid behavior. And to demand to know why Merlin thought Arthur was just going to let him skip off into the light of the sun with a simple handmaiden. Fucking little thing….the prince should fucking show him what happens when he wants to go around messing with Arthur's emotions. Stringing Arthur along with his weird behavior until the prince felt he didn't get any other choice other than saving his life.

Arthur wanted to 'be' better because of fucking Merlin.

And yet, the boy also made him want to give into the demon of his insides and never look back.

"Yes, that is great to hear. I'm happy my consort will make his recovery swiftly. And has hopefully learned something out of this whole situation." Arthur said, in this faux dulled voice, his gaze wondering over Merlin's face. The only good thing about Merlin's swift recovery, it meant Arthur wouldn't have to feel all that bad about giving into his baser instincts later on. It wasn't as if he could just pretend the kiss between consort and maid hadn't been seen…some kind of reprimand for this crime was needed. Arthur couldn't help himself though, adding one more snide comment to Leon though never taking his eyes from the lucious face of his consort. "Though I do wish you managed to return him under my care without being sullied, I suppose that there is very little to be done about an event that has already passed."

The room seemed to have gone impossibly denser, and Gaius was off to the side starting to bristle. Merlin started shrinking in his bed, looking as if he was trying to hide behind Morgana's womanly form. And Gwen…Gwen looked as if she was trying to sidle behind Gaius to hide herself from him. And Arthur's eyes snapped back onto her, his voice having been calm in contrast to the piercing of his eyes that froze her in place. Like a snake about to inject his venom into her…Leon cleared his throat and slowly stood back up from his knee, looking far more awkward than somebody of his noble birth should have been.

"Perhaps it's probably best if we all decide to vacate the area for the time being. It's been a restless few days, and I'm sure Consort Merlin will appreciate some much needed rest after all the ordeal he has faced, yes?" Leon suggested, clearly trying to dislodge the awkwardness of the room. But it only seemed to get tenser, as Arthur's eyes returned back onto Merlin, sure to lock his eyes on his form. Rest, the prince thought with this almost heavy sneer. His consort needed rest to escape from Arthur's temper, but he didn't need rest when it went towards kissing…the only rest Arthur would allow Merlin to have was on his backside after the prince managed to chain him across his bloody bed. He couldn't very well be making kissy faces if he couldn't see anybody. "What do you say, sire? Perhaps we can have a guard or two posted at the doors to keep out any of the riffraff that might take the opportunity to try getting a sneak at the consort while he's in this vulnerable state? Just until all of this business with Mercia is over with, yes?"

Arthur's lip rose higher in a sneer before he dropped it…just a single guard wouldn't do-been there, done that. And two also didn't strike confident in Arthur. Hell, he doubted having ten or so men would be enough to keep Merlin contained. Clearly this was a job only Arthur himself could complete. Because Arthur knew he wouldn't fall for any tricks Merlin might have hiding in his sleeve. Knew any wiles Merlin might try to use on him was not going to work. And he knew Merlin wouldn't be able to go sneaking past him…not if Arthur had his bloody wrist cuffed to Merlin's. Let's just see how kissy feeling he felt when he knew the punishment for such was the next two weeks spent being plastered to Arthur's side. Show him what he got for trying to rub this-whatever this was-with Gwen in his face.

"You're right, Leon. I think my consort needs to have constant watch. The next few weeks will be very hectic, and we cannot very well risk somebody actually killing him off when we just managed to save him." Arthur drawled out, deceptively calm to the room once again. Leon seemed pleased, knowing that his suggestion was going to be implemented…but only if he knew the only guard Merlin would be having was Arthur. Since all of what was going to happen was meant to be a punishment. The consort wouldn't feel very punished if Arthur continued to just allow his shameless behavior to ruin Camelot and her greatest reputation. "Though perhaps for now, your suggestion to leave my consort is probably for the best. I think everybody should go. I would like to have a word alone with my consort, if you do not mind. A minute to…reconnect…with my husband."

Arthur had clearly been far too lenient with Merlin after all this time…had even stopped fussing-briefly-over his behavior with other men. It had always been something that grated under his skin, but as long as Arthur didn't have to see any little trace of evidence pertaining to Merlin's other activities, it was easier to brush to the back of his mind. Something that irritated him to no end, but could put a lid on as long as he had other things to occupy him. But the dam inside of Arthur had been broken due to feminine lips pressing themselves against his consort, doing her hardest to try staining his consort beyond recognition. The prince was starting to feel like he had back when Valiant was a thing…he'd been irritated by the other knight touching all over his consort's face. Arthur had cleanse Merlin from that creep's fingers with wine, the alcohol in it streaking Merlin's face had wiped the slate clean. But that would not be the case with the kiss Gwen had given his consort…a kiss was too intimate. Too personal when compared to some inappropriate touching. He just didn't know what he could do to erase the stain that would surely linger on Merlin's lips…

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! THAT WOULD BE COMPLETELY OUT OF THE QUESTION! YOU MUST BE INSANE IF YOU THINK FOR A SINGLE SECOND I WOULD LEAVE YOU ALONE WITH MERLIN, ARTHUR PENDRAGON!" Came the booming voice of Gaius, as he easily commandeered the room before Leon had a chance to start herding everybody out. Arthur bristled immediately in response…it would be a cold day in hell before somebody tried to decide when he saw his husband. But Gaius wasn't exactly done yelling at him either, taking a deep breath as if to try and calm himself down, face blistering red, "Clearly, you must have hit your head at some point while you were gone if you think in anyway that I would leave you to do something else that will do nothing but damage my nephew."

For a single second, Arthur could feel the familiar guilt roiling in his stomach, just knowing that Gaius was throwing the fact that Arthur had hit Merlin in his face. But it was only one time! Surely people weren't going to hold that over his head forever and ever, but…perhaps Gaius had a right to be cautious. After all, Arthur had hit Merlin for just knowing what he was doing in the dark behind his back. What was he going to do to him now that he'd seen it face to face…Arthur himself wasn't even sure of what he was going to do when he got Merlin alone. But….he WAS going to get Merlin alone. It was wrong to keep any man away from their own husband…but Arthur was smart enough to know dominance and ordering Gaius as his prince wouldn't work in this situation. Not since the blood ties between Merlin and him had been revealed to the Prince. So Arthur swallowed down the instinctive urge to snap out a sharp retort, and tried for something a bit more…diplomatic. But when Arthur opened his mouth to speak, it wasn't his voice that came out.

It was somebody meeker.

"Gaius." Everybody swiveled their heads around to look back at Merlin. Despite how small his voice had been, everybody in the room had heard him. And Arthur raised an eyebrow high up his forehead, almost immediately annoyed again when he saw Merlin wasn't looking at him. Damn it, was he invisible? Bloody Merlin should be as obsessed with staring at Arthur as Arthur was bloody obsessed with staring down at him. But the young consort seemed to have eyes only for his uncle, "It's fine. I do think there are a few things Arthur needs to say to me. I could hear him out, so it's alright…you can leave me alone with him for a moment."

Gaius seemed to bristle, immediately recognizing how Merlin was speaking all detached, as if he was sinking into his head to find safety from what was going on in reality. Which couldn't be good considering Merlin's state…who's to say he would not slide into his mind and never emerge again? Who's to say the prince wouldn't say or do something that would knock Merlin to the edge all over again? Only this time, there wasn't going to be any flower to help cure him. Not when he had voluntarily gone into a voluntary vegetable state all on his own. This very rare occurrence, but something that could absolutely happen if push came to shove. Which was exactly what was happening right now.

Arthur, on the other hand, straightened out his shoulders and he stood a little bit taller. An almost pleased smirk plastering itself across his face. As far as he was concerned, Merlin was defending Arthur's rights as a husband…which meant he might just be learning his place in life after all. To show deference to Arthur in all matters, even against his own uncle. Arthur went and done it to his father, it was only right for Merlin to now be doing the same. That didn't mean Arthur would show Merlin a hint of leniency though. He'd had those moments where he'd go back and forth, trying to determine how harsh he should be with Merlin-if he shouldn't be harsh because he might've done something good for once, and deserved a reward-but he'd do that no longer. Merlin had kissed Gwen. Showing deference to him now wasn't going to help anything. And now that Merlin's awake…Arthur could start them off fresh.

New rules.

New life.

New…everything.

Merlin spoke again…

"Besides, you and I both know he's not going to stop until he's gone and got what he wants. I would rather he say whatever he's going to say so he can leave and I can finally get a bit of rest. It's better to get it over with."

Arthur's expression darkened, his jealous tendencies rising to the surface as he watched the consort squeezing and tugging at the blanket covering his lap. Merlin still wasn't lifting up his head to look at Arthur, and the way those fingers were curling around the edge of the blanket…bloody Merlin! Merlin wasn't showing deference to him at all! He was simply wanting to 'get rid of him'. Probably so he could make some bloody room and allow his precious little Gwen to come back and take Arthur's rightful place by his head. Or actually IN the bed…he'd climb in those bloody sheets and curl himself around Merlin's body just to bloody well show him he wasn't leaving! And Guinevere was going to go and suck a lemon if she thought she was going to take his place in Merlin's life. In his bed. In his bloody heart!

It was Arthur!

Only Arthur!

Who should be in every single crevice the boy had. Soaking in his mind until Arthur was the only thing in the forefront. Merlin should be bloody breathing oxygen that had Arthur's scent till there was nothing left filling the insides of his lungs. Any single kiss Merlin should try and share with somebody else should've been ruined because Merlin could think of nothing but wishing it was Arthur doing the bloody kissing! Merlin should spend his time-once he was well enough to get out of the bed-trying his hardest to climb Arthur like a tree. So Arthur could continue to have his ego stroked while rejecting Merlin…giving him enough just to keep him hooked on Arthur. And Guinevere's horrid and pathetic little kiss would be nothing but a thing of the past. An event Merlin would want to erase from his mind and pretend it had never happened. But Arthur himself would never forget of it, he was prepared to hold it against Merlin till their dying days years from now.

The kiss had only lasted seconds, but it could have lasted for an eternity, as far as Arthur was concerned.

ARTHUR could have given Merlin a more pleasing kiss than the handmaiden and whatever that little kiss had been about. And he wasn't even gay! So, did that speak volumes of Guinevere's ability to kiss? Or did it speak volumes on what the standards Merlin'd allowed when it came to being kissed? At least Arthur would have made it more memorable…licked his tongue right into the hot cavern Merlin called his mouth. Made it so by the time he was done trying to swallow Merlin whole…the consort would be able to taste nothing but Arthur for days. Kissed so throughly, even trying to eat a simple slice of bread would've only made Arthur's taste flare back up on his tastebuds.

Bloody Gwen wouldn't be able to do that.

"Merlin, you do not need to do that. You don't have to put up with anything he tried to do or tells you. I can kick him out of here right now and be done with it." Gaius suddenly spoke up once again, bringing Arthur back to the matter at hand. And he watched as the aged physician took a seat on the other side of Merlin, reaching out and clasping his hand with the hand of his consort's in a fatherly embrace. The prince's frown deepened a bit. "You've been put under a lot of strain, and your body will need to rest. There's absolutely no reason Arthur needs to be here when all he's going to do is jeopardize your health. That's my number one priority. And Arthur's presence clearly doesn't do anything other than putting you in a state. He needs to just go and never come back, okay? I'll put him out the door and it will be just you and me and Gwen and Morgana. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Gaius said all of this in a soothing tone, reaching up to brush a bit of hair from Merlin's sweaty forehead. And Arthur bristled…he wasn't going to jeopardize Merlin's health! He wasn't going to save the boy just to end him the second he woke up! Arthur was being very generous to wait until Merlin was back up and on his feet before he did anything serious. He just needed the boy to know how…displeased…Arthur was with his willingness to be kissed by Gwen. He had every right as a husband when it came to telling Merlin how he felt about certain things he did.

And if Arthur felt his heart clench up a little, knowing the other physician trusted him so little, well…nobody needed to know of that other than himself.

"I know, Uncle Gaius." Merlin said, his voice coming out in this soft and low murmur under his breath, so low that Arthur had to strain to hear it. But there it was…'Uncle Gaius.' Had Merlin'd ever referred to the physician with that familiar title before and Arthur had just somehow missed it? Or wasn't paying enough attention to what Merlin was saying to catch it? It seemed odd to not know that fact now. And it was odd to see the ease that Merlin spoke with, relaxing against his uncle in a way he'd not ever done with Arthur…the prince felt a muscle jolt somewhere in his jawline. Bloody Merlin…being so comfortable with every other person in the room other than the only one he had been bound too lawfully. "But I don't want to deal with this later. And you know he'll just come back. I just say get it done with since you cannot stand by my side all day. He'll simply turn up when you leave. At least this way, you'd be outside the door and can come running if he gets angry again."

Arthur…Arthur didn't know what to think about that, turning his head to the side as he awkwardly crossed his arms across his chest. Tapping his fingers anxiously along his forearm. Merlin had made him sound like some kind of beast…'in case he gets angry again'…as if he expected Arthur was going to attack him the second they were alone. Maybe before, Arthur would have attacked him. But in his delicate state, he would need to have Arthur handle him a bit more…delicately. 'NO HITTING' him, he would have to remind himself. Not this time. Not again. A firm hand maybe, but not a heavy one. Something that wouldn't get Merlin looking at him as if he thought he was some kind of odd monster, though Arthur certainly felt like the odd man out. The others in the room were clearly Team Merlin, and not even his trusted knight Leon was speaking out to defend his blond hair prince from Merlin's unsaid accusations.

"…I don't know." Gaius said slowly, speaking with this extreme reluctance. He turned his gaze back onto Arthur, as if trying to address his threat level for himself. The prince wanted nothing more than to straighten himself up, making himself much taller and bigger in appearance. A man ready to lay down the law to his consort, rather than a boy who couldn't be trusted to keep enough of his anger in check until Merlin was able bodied and better prepared than he was on his sick bed. But that wouldn't have done anything to stop Gaius' extreme reluctance, clearly ready to jump in the fray for his nephew at any given moment. "…I suppose if I'm just outside the door, I'll be close enough to hear anything I don't like." Gaius whipped his head back so he could level his nephew with a steady glare. "You just shout and I'll be in here in a second. If he does anything to make you feel uncomfortable, we can go straight to the king and appeal for a separation of some kind. Or at least enforce some restraining order of some sort. Something that will force Arthur to keep a good bit of distance from you for the time being. I don't like to leave you at all, Merlin. Especially with him…"

Gaius' reluctance was clear, but the disgust coiling off the tip of his tongue could have hit Arthur like a whip slashing up his back, sending rivers of blood coursing down his spine. He had made that disgust be there with his actions, and there wasn't anything he could do about that. But it wasn't as if Merlin was the innocent party here either! Sure, maybe Arthur had acted overboard with his consort. But what else was he supposed to do when Merlin…when Merlin…when Merlin made kissy faces in Arthur's face with other people! It was a slight against himself, and Arthur could hardly allow that to go by unchallenged.

But the idea of Gaius trying to make things formal, and have a real separation appeal brought before the king…made Arthur's stomach suddenly twist up in knots. He wasn't actually sure if Gaius could do that, or if Uther would agree to it since Merlin was needed for their little 'true love charade.' But it was clearly a threat, something Gaius could use to try and keep Merlin out of his grasp. But a separation appeal was extremely hard to go through, even harder where one's rank in the social ladder was determined to be. The higher up a man was, the harder it was for their 'property' to be taken away. But something like having an appeal go through, only worked for the more extreme cases being confronted, where abuse was undeniable and went further than just a simple back hand against the face. Those were for the more serious claims, the ones where the abuser was a true psychopath that spent his time cutting up his bride just like…Arthur…had imagined…doing…several times.

Fuck, Arthur could feel the paleness in his cheeks. It wouldn't matter if nobody knows the darkness or depths Arthur'd fallen into over these last few months. As Gaius reluctantly stood up from the bed, Arthur suddenly felt as if everybody would know exactly how his mind worked just by looking at him. As if Leon would know Arthur had once considered seriously carving his own name into Merlin's flesh. As if Morgana would know Arthur had a particular spot on Merlin's thigh already picked out for a place to put his brand. As if Gwen would know Arthur dreamed of choking Merlin, until the boy could rasp only his name, while sinking into the darkness and knowing he would only be gifted with his next breath because Arthur had allowed it. And those claims suddenly gave Gaius' possible appeal a heavier ground to stand on. Not even Uther would allow Merlin to stay with his son if he thought his son's behavior was detrimental towards the story they were peddling to the commoner folk.

But with nothing left to say, the room started to filter out with a slow pace, each of them seeming to move slower than the last one was. As if they were all, in one way or the other, wanting to stay and bear witness to Arthur's behavior towards his consort …it was certainly disconcerting to see everybody so reluctant to let Merlin out of their sight. It was even more disconcerting to see Merlin nodding at all of them reassuringly as they gave him a glance over. It looked as if it was taking every little bit of spare energy Merlin had to remain sitting up on the bed. And Arthur tapped his foot impatiently on the ground-as Leon was the first to walk past him-because didn't these people see that Merlin was wasting all his excess energy on making them feel better about leaving him. Arthur wouldn't make Merlin bloody sit up like that…the consort could lay down and rest while the prince fussed at him.

"Arthur-" the prince stiffened as Morgana hissed his name and placed a hand on the crook of his elbow as she was passing by on his way out to get his attention. Arthur dragged his eyes off his consort, meeting Morgana's narrowed ones instead. Arthur could've felt the agitation whipping off of her in waves, but her voice remained deceptively calm as she addressed him. "I will hope you remember to keep yourself calm. Merlin doing this is not an excuse to go crazy. He can revoke your right to be here at any second. Do remember…you were the one that said you'd need to do better. This here is your chance…do better."

Morgana squeezed the crook of his elbow, and to any other, it would look as if Morgana was simply trying to reassure him but the prince could feel the claws she called her nails trying to do their damn hardest to maim him through his tunic. This subtle threat…a reminder that he was only here and caught Merlin to begin with because Morgana had orchestrated a jail break. As the prince nodded though, Morgana's gaze filtered down onto the flowers in his hand, and Arthur's fingers curled around the frail stems more firmly, hearing the crack as some bent till they were in unrecognizable angles. Arthur had almost forgotten he was holding them to begin with…it was easy to forget about all things though. Merlin had that effect on him, making the entire world melt away as if nothing else mattered but what their next encounter would entail.

But, as Morgana had the unfortunate timing of being right about things nowadays…Arthur had promised himself he would do better. Be better than this monster that allowed his emotion get the best of him, encouraged him to hurt others that he was meant to have under his care. But that had been before Arthur had seen filthy lips pressing against his consort's. Before he'd seen a servant girl trying to claim his Merlin. Before he…Arthur swallowed down the pit of jealousy gnawing at his gut. Merlin would have shoved him away if it had been him who tried that offending action. Unlike his Precious Gwen…fuck. Be better, he repeated into his mind as if he was trying to drill it into his own skull, as Morgana walked past him. Be better meant…he didn't really know what it meant. Before, it meant Arthur arriving and apologizing to Merlin for his behavior. It meant handing him his flowers and rolling around in the hug Merlin would give him as the past stayed in the past. Arthur didn't think any of that was happening now though…Arthur's eyes connected with Gwen's as the handmaiden tried to scurry out the door before he was able to catch her.

But catch her he did, like a little mouse in a trap. Gwen even squeaked like one, as Arthur grabbed onto her elbow before she could get too far away. The girl looked up at him fearfully, but Arthur wasn't going to do anything to her. He didn't hit on girls, no matter how much he wanted too…but Arthur dragged her close enough to hiss in her ear, "Remind me sometime far later on, to teach you what the proper decorum between Royal and servant should be. For somebody who was so eager with helping, I do believe you might have forgotten a few things due to your little friendship with my consort."

And Arthur released her, the threat leaking out from his words would do most of the damage for him. Though he didn't dare look at her a moment more, nothing more than a flea beneath his boot that would be squashed if she decided to stay for one moment longer. Gwen seemed to read this though, and quickly followed after Morgana…Arthur rolled his eyes. And to think, it wasn't all that long ago, Arthur had been praising the apparent friendship between his consort and the serving girl. Back then though, the friendship had been a good thing. It meant there'd been somebody willing to dive head first into trouble to get the flower from him. But now, he could see there was probably this extra reason for Gwen's apparent heroism…nobody would ever do something for nothing. Clearly, the little harlot harbored an inappropriate crush on his consort. He should've known, what, with her giving Merlin her own flower all those weeks ago back when the plague that hit the city had been big. She'd forgotten her place when she had given Merlin that flower. But she had steamrolled right over every boundary the prince thought had been in place when she had kissed him.

And then Gaius was standing in front of him, giving Arthur the coldest stare he had ever seen from the physician. It reminded Arthur so much of Merlin-whenever he'd gotten into one of his frosty moods-that the Prince stiffened before realizing that the man wasn't Merlin. But still…it was truly a wonder how Arthur'd missed the relation between the two. Gaius' eyes are different shades of blue, but there was a certain speckle inside that was carrying the same fierce determination Arthur had only seen in Merlin….the physician didn't say a single word to him as he left the room. And that somehow stung more than Arthur would've thought it would…especially considering how angry he'd been at Gaius only moments before when he'd been convincing his consort not to see him…

His consort…

Arthur's spine went impossibly stiff, but he didn't dare look up as he took the time to close the door behind the small group in the hallway. The door closing softly might as well have been an explosion sounding off somewhere in Arthur's ears, and Arthur could feel the stare of Merlin tracing along the broad square of his back. He was reluctant to turn around all of a sudden as his heart pounded in an unsteady rhythm. Thumpthunpthump…he had been so desperate to be alone with Merlin. But somehow…he had forgotten he would actually be 'alone' with Merlin. And this realization left a heavy coat of sweat along his palms even though he had no reason to be nervous…it wasn't like he's the one that was caught kissing somebody else…at least…not this time. But fuck, did Merlin's stare have to be so heavy on him? It felt as if Arthur was being held in place by a thousand or so bricks just needing to weigh him down.

Arthur was supposed to be the one in charge here…

He wasn't going to allow some sickly boy to knock him off his feet without even touching him.

He wasn't going to allow the power of a stare stop him from showing his displeasure…

Arthur breathed out one last time in order to steady himself to the ground-wielding himself down if he must, with all manner of invisible cables and cords Merlin would not ever be able to break-and promptly turned around before he could think twice about it. But he'd overestimate himself…thought himself to be ready when he wasn't even close…nearly swallowing his own tongue would be the price for being unprepared. Caught in the gaze of those eyes in ways he shouldn't allow, but doomed to be right from the beginning.

Merlin had slumped himself back against the bed, and he was doing nothing but staring at Arthur. There was some light that streamed in through the windows that cast this sort of glow on the bed. Merlin's skin was all sweaty but the light made it look more illuminated than gross. Like somebody had decided they would shine the lights of heaven down on Merlin, creating this sort of halo and angelic effect on the boy. Arthur had to force a swallow down his throat before remembering he was meant to be mad-furious-at the other boy. Not admiring him when he was all sticky and nasty but alive-so very, very much alive. The other still had no color returning to his cheeks-pale as ever-as Arthur had imagined one to many times. But this felt better in a way…because it was real. And Merlin's chest rose as his breath filled his lungs, so different to the stillness it had been the last time Arthur had seen him…

Arthur forced back a groan threatening to emerge from his lips and he started to pace around the room-in front of Merlin's cot actually-finding it was nearly impossible to stand still. Though each and every time Arthur would stop, look at Merlin, open up his mouth to stop fussing at him, his throat would go tight. The consort's gaze never leaving Arthur's form for even a second…he was clearly keeping an eye on Arthur and waiting for what it was he would do. But Arthur found it preciously hard to try and do anything when Merlin's eyes were on him…this whole thing might just go so much easier if Arthur slapped down a bag or something over Merlin's head. At least he would get more than a syllable out before he shut down completely.

But with no bag in sight, Arthur was forced to do the one thing he could do…he paced. And he paced. And he paced a whole bunch more times. Until five minutes of silence had passed on by, and then ten minutes, until Arthur could not justify walking around anymore without sounding like some kind of chump for Merlin. Before Arthur could talk himself out of it, the blond was whipping back around, stopping at the foot of the bed, to face Merlin. His feet were parallel to the other, his hands tucked on the base of his spine, trying to elude a confident he never had when it came to Merlin. And he opened his mouth, careful not to look Merlin in the eye lest he get distracted again, before he said…

"Why did you not tell me Gaius was your uncle?"

The words tumbled from Arthur's lips as if they belonged there but he felt stupid for saying them, a heat rising along his face and cheekbones as Merlin blinked. Clearly just as stumped as Arthur was about this question…the prince hadn't meant to say it for sure. It was just one of the many questions he'd wanted to demand from Merlin, but it seemed silly when one thought of it compared to that bloody kiss of Merlin's. But Merlin didn't give him an answer anyway. He stayed scarily quiet, and didn't do anything more than lift a single shoulder into this half shrug that Arthur wouldn't even be willing to call a shrug. The prince clenched his jaw and started to pace again before diving into a lecture he didn't even want to give.

"Do you not know the doors that could've been open for you if we knew you were related to Gaius. I mean, yes, every door is practically opened to you when you became my consort but all of that was when you were nothing but a peasant boy. People don't respect peasants. But things could've gone far different if we had known Gaius was your uncle. Perhaps my own father wouldn't have tried to let you die of your illness instead of offering his help. Perhaps I would've been more respectful of you from the beginning. Gaius is an esteemed member with the royal court and has been for many years. Since before we were even born. My father would have wanted to invite Gaius to a seat at our family table whenever we dine together, would have wanted to discuss deals or what happens next when our two families have been combined into one. Hell, Gaius would have been offered one of the rooms in the royal suite, one just down the hall from your own room, just for being related to you and there are a dozen other little trinkets or traditions the king would have wanted done if we have known. But you decided to keep that to yourself, though only heaven knows why. Gaius is an important figure in the community, which means you've had also inherited some of that importance. Things would've gone more smoothly if we knew you were not just a simple peasant coming off the streets and invading our home."

The words spewed out of Arthur like word vomit, and then they continued to spew even when he noticed Merlin looked as if he was no longer paying attention. They spewed as Arthur's tight jaw twitched in displeasure as he watched the consort's eyes started to go half-lidded, as if he was fighting back the urge to go to sleep. His poisoning must have taken so much out of him if he was willing to go to sleep during one of Arthur's too many rants at him. Or perhaps Arthur had just lost his touch and the other boy no longer felt that Arthur was worth the effort to get mad at. It was degrading in the worst of ways, and Arthur was needing Merlin's full attention on him like an alcoholic needed his next glass of mead.

"And another thing, if you thought I would never figure out the relation between you and Gaius-" Arthur cut himself off before he could start the second half of his rant, knowing he was not getting anywhere. And knowing this wasn't even what he was most agitated about…Merlin didn't even seem to notice he had stopped talking. His dark haired boy, bangs sticking across his sweaty forehead and plastering into his eyes as if he was truly some kind of dark goddess waiting to cast judgement over the simple prince before him, let out a breath that sounded as if it rattled his lungs. His eyes dropping lower until Arthur only saw a single slit of blue shining out from under those thick array of long lashes…how did any man have lashes that dark…he shook his head but the thoughts were persistent even as he said, "So can I assume, if you can kiss somebody like you kissed Gwen a minute ago, that you haven't suffered from brain damage? But maybe you did…the Merlin I know would have never kissed any woman."

The real issue spewed from Arthur's lips, and his gaze kept on wondering over Merlin's form without abandonment. The other didn't even flinch at Arthur's change in topic, and the prince's eyes finally fell on the one place he had avoided looking at this entire time. Merlin's pale petal rose lips…Arthur could vaguely hear something cracking-the flowers still clenched in his hand, perhaps-but it was drowned out over the beating sound of his own heartbeat. How was it even possible, the blond man was thinking, for Merlin to look like that. Something must've gone and taken root inside of Arthur, festered into something horrid and awful…perhaps Merlin was no goddess at all. Perhaps the consort was something demonic and unholy, a temptress that was meant to lure Arthur into his orbit and suck him dry for all that he had. Because it shouldn't be possible for Merlin to be coated in sweat, with another person's spit possibly lingering on his lips, to be so ungodly pretty.

Arthur felt as if he was caught in a dazed, taking this half step forward as if he wanted to drown in Merlin. Just to be near him and swallowed whole by his…he traced his eyes along Merlin's lips over and over again. Memorizing the pink color, the gentle way they curved into their natural shape…the horrid sheen that could've been Merlin's own sweat and saliva. Or the remnants of Gwen's kiss…had Gwen bitten down on Merlin's lips as she kissed him? Took that bottom lip between her teeth and bit on the needy flesh, just as Merlin liked to do? Arthur didn't think he would've missed seeing that if she did, but it could've been quick. Just a gentle nibble before she pulled away from him…a gentle nibble though, was still too much for Arthur to dream of letting go of.

Merlin exhaled once more, and the breath escaping from those lips only ensnarled Arthur more, leaving him with the extremely insane urge of wanting to capture each of his breaths within a glass bottle. Something Arthur could carry on him as he would go about his day. Something Arthur could pull from his pocket, something he could pull the stopper out of, and something the prince could listen to for as long as he wanted without anyone judging him. It was perfectly natural for a man to be ensnarled when his husband did the simple act that came with breathing …right? But then, Merlin spoke…revealing to the prince he may not have been as asleep as he thought he had been.

"…I will never be free of you… will I?"