A Taste of the Devine

by ClashOfFates

I never saw him coming, never expected his presence to change everything. I held a grudge against my mother for this very thing. For falling headfirst, never stopping to think. But now it's happened to me and I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do. Should I stay or should I go? It's a question I never thought I'd be asking myself… until now. Bella/Paul OOC/AU/HEA

7. Chapter 7

All characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.

Chapter 7

The next morning, after a fitful sleep, I manage a few hours of unconsciousness before finally giving up and facing the day.

I take a shower, trying to center my mind again before I have to bravely face Paul after what we'd done. I put on some baggy sweat pants, attempting to look as unappealing as possible, adding a big t-shirt I'd long ago stolen from Jacob. I usually wore that t-shirt without anything underneath but I wasn't that stupid, or at least I was trying not to be again.

When I'm feeling courageous enough to leave my bedroom I release a sigh in relief to find the living room empty. I have no idea if Paul is still here. I hadn't heard him move all night. I'm tempted to knock on Embry's bedroom door to check but if he still happened to be there, I still didn't feel completely ready to take that on just yet.

At least not until I've had my morning coffee.

I immediately head for the coffee machine to start it as soon as possible. I stand there staring at it, willing it to do its job faster. When it's finally done I pour myself a cup.

Before I get even a quarter deep into my coffee, Embry's bedroom door opens, followed by a set of heavy unfamiliar footsteps, and a few seconds later Paul appears. He stops at the doorway, his eyes taking me in before some kind of emotion I don't recognize crosses his features and he looks away, his eyes watching the ground as if it were the most interesting wood pattern in existence.

It's the first time I've ever seen him look nervous and it takes me back a little for a second, suddenly unsure as to how to proceed. From the looks of things I know I will have to be the one to make the first move.

"Good morning." I say, trying to act as normal as possible. "I made a pot of coffee if you want some."

He looks up at my voice, hesitating for a moment before he silently nods.

I pour him a cup and set it down on the breakfast bar for him to take a seat, hoping that the island between us would notify him that we needed to keep our distance.

He silently pads up to the stool on bare feet and takes a seat.

"Thank you." He says quietly.

I nod, turning away from him.

When I do he clears his throat. "I also wanted to apologize for last night." He starts cautiously. "It was wrong of me to ask that of you. I'm not handling this whole imp–" It's like he chokes on the word, his Adam's apple bobbing painfully as he tries to keep going. "I panicked and asked you to do something I know you regret today and I feel terrible about it." He apologizes honestly, his eyes staring into mine hoping to also wordlessly communicate his regret.

"Thank you." I say, trying to reassure him. "But let's just forget about it and move on. We can attribute it to your emotional state last night and pretend like it never happened."

For a second, I recognize the look of disagreement in his expression, a bitter look coming forth before he squashes it shaking his head. "Right. Let's just forget it."

I can instantly feel the tension, his simmering anger and frustration. I ignore it, choosing to move on like I said I wanted to. He was giving me some mixed signals and I did not appreciate it one bit.

"So breakfast… I was thinking eggs, bacon, and some hash browns. How about you take a shower while I get it ready?"

Without making eye contact he quietly nods and gets up from his seat.

"There's towels in the closet in the hallway." I inform his retreating back.

He doesn't respond but I hear him opening the closet door before I see him reappear, a towel in hand, marching straight into the bathroom.

I release another heavy breath before I start working on breakfast. I try to blank my mind of last night and our very short conversation but as much as I try I just can't get over it… or make heads of it.

Paul had been apologetic for what had transpired the night before, seeming to regret it as much as I did. But when I suggested keeping it between us it's like he'd been offended by the request. Like I was in the wrong for suggesting we pretend like we hadn't engaged in some seriously inappropriate dry humping last night.

It was so confusing.

He had an imprint now for christ sake. He was spoken for already. Did he want me to be upset over it?

I wasn't, I was ashamed of my actions but not upset that he ultimately rejected me first. It was the only outcome possible. It's not like we were going to have sex. I think I would have stopped it myself if it had gotten to that point. So what exactly was he expecting for me to say? To tell him I'd been okay by our actions last night?

Because I wasn't.

The only emotion I felt concerning the event was shame.

Besides, before today, he had never once given me any indication that he was attracted to me. We didn't know each other. We were complete strangers.

I'm pushed out of my hectic thoughts by the sound of an incoming text message on my phone. While the hash brown is cooking I reach for my phone, entering into my messages to see who it is.

Julian: Good morning. I just wanted to say I had a great time at dinner yesterday.

I'm slightly surprised by the text, not having expected Julian to communicate with me so soon… or at all.

Me: Me too. It was fun.

Julian: Can you believe I've already started on the project?

Me: There's no way, I've barely even thought about it. You're making me feel like a terrible student.

Julian: ha ha your grades say otherwise.

Me: That's only because I study my ass off for tests.

I turn my attention back to the hash browns, turning them over before going back to my phone.

Julian: Either way you always end up scoring higher than I do, so whatever you're doing it's working. Maybe I should get some tutoring lessons from you instead.

I smile at his bare attempt at flirting. He seriously needed to work on that.

Me: Is that your way of asking to see me outside of class?

Julian: Yes… Would it sound too forward if I asked you to dinner tonight again?

I bite my lip, rolling around the invitation in my head and deciding whether it was a good idea or not.

Julian: Or tomorrow.

Julian: Or if you want to keep it during class and group meetings. I'd understand, no pressure.

I can't help but chuckle at his sudden shyness, picturing his panicked fingers attempting to not seem so desperate.

Me: Um, I don't know about tonight. I have a friend over today and I'm not sure at what time he's leaving. I'll let you know later though.

Julian: Sure, no problem. Just let me know.

A rough clearing of a throat shifts my attention and I look up, Paul's eyes capturing me in his.

"The hash browns are starting to burn." He informs me, turning the knob on the stove to shut it off and moving the pan to a cool grill.

I shut off my phone's screen and tuck it into my sweat's pocket. "Shit, sorry." I say, moving to distribute the hash brown into two plates. Serving him more than myself before I quickly start on the eggs, thankfully the bacon's already done.

"Who was that?" He suddenly asks.

I look up from what I'm doing, "Huh?" asking in confusion.

His eyes shift down, pointedly looking at my phone in my pocket.

"Oh, uh, just a classmate." I reply, shrugging my shoulders carelessly.

"Didn't look like it was just a classmate." He says seriously, his eyes taking in my features.

I'm taken aback by the interest in his eyes and the unhappiness tainting his voice.

Yeah, we're most definitely not going there.

"We have more coffee, if you'd like. There's also like three types of juices in the fridge." I say instead, turning my attention back to the eggs so as not to burn them.

I feel him watching me as I do and after I refuse to answer his comment or say anything else, he quietly moves to the fridge.

"There's cups in the high cupboard next to the fridge."

I plate the eggs and bacon that had been dripping excess oil into a napkin with the hash brown and I move them to the counter.

Unfortunately, I realize too late we only have two stools on the breakfast bar. Jacob had broken his chair with his massive weight earlier in the week and we haven't had the time to purchase another. So I'm forced to take the seat next to Paul who's already sitting with the whole bottle of orange juice and a full glass.

We eat quietly for some time, neither one of us attempting to make conversation.

I startle when my phone suddenly rings in my pocket. As I reach for it I hear Paul lightly grumbling, "probably your classmate again" with a little bit too much venom on the word 'classmate', than really necessary.

Taking a look at the screen my eyes slightly widen at the caller ID, hesitating before answering but knowing I have to before he panics and assumes someone murdered me while he was away. I reluctantly answer the phone.

"Hey Jake." I greet.

Paul's eyes immediately cut to my face.

"Morning, Sweetheart. How did you sleep without me?" He asks, his voice slightly husky with a flirtatious tone to it.

"With my eyes closed." I joke, hoping he'll stop continuing on that road because Paul's eyes are now literally digging holes into the side of my head. "So what's up? It's a bit of an early call, isn't it?"

He sighs out, sounding so very shaken. "Uhhh… some crazy shit happened last night and I don't really know what to do about it."

My eyes shift to Paul's, but he doesn't even react, still quietly watching me.

"Really?"

"Yeah… I can't believe I'm about to say this but… Paul imprinted on my sister, Rachel."

I feel like a total hypocrite when I fake a disbelieving sound. "No way!" I reply, hoping it sounds believable.

"I know." He replies, I can hear him pacing outside. "We were having dinner when Paul and the guys dropped by to greet my sisters. He got one look at Rachel and then Bam! He went totally blank. And then he just ran away." He tells me, sounding so very disbelieving.

"Woah." I say, turning to look at Paul. "That's crazy. Did she realize what happened?" I tentatively ask, trying to sound interested while also trying to get answers of my own but also not trying to sound eager for an answer.

I internally roll my eyes at myself. I really shouldn't be asking, I should just pretend that Paul and I didn't do what we did last night.

Jacob sighs heavily over the receiver. "She felt it but not as strongly as Paul did, at least that's what Emily and Kim say. Because imprints aren't technically supernatural themselves, they don't feel it to the same degree as the wolf does. She knows something happened but she's more confused than anything."

"Oh, ok... Sounds complicated." I mutter quietly.

Jacob chuckles sardonically. "That's an understatement."

We both remain quiet over the phone for a few moments, and I know he's feeling troubled over what happened. "Are you okay?" I finally ask.

"Just processing… and I'm also exhausted. The guys and I spent all night in wolf form trying to find him but it's like he just disappeared off the face of the earth. The last trace of his scent went past the borders of Forks. We think he might've been heading toward Seattle."

Through the phone I can hear Jacob continuing to pace, I can picture him running his hands aggressively over his hair, tugging at the strands.

"Listen, it's probably not likely to happen." He continues, "But if you catch sight of him don't hesitate to call me. We have to find him before Rachel leaves tomorrow, and we can't tell her about the wolves and the imprint without him."

I remain quiet, guilt starting to seep into my veins. I throw a beseeching look at Paul but the panicked look in his eyes, the same one from last night, returns and then he shakes his head. Pleading for me not to tell Jacob he's here.

"Bella?" Jacob calls my name over the receiver when I don't respond.

I bite my lip to stop myself, really considering going against Paul's wishes. Yesterday I'd let myself be influenced by his pleading, and look where that landed us. But when Paul reaches forward, catching my hand in his and squeezing gently while mouthing please, I can't help but to acquiesce… again.

"Yeah, uh, I'll let you know if I see him." I finally say, receiving a painful pang in the pit of my stomach at having to lie to Jacob.

In front of me Paul closes his eyes, relief pouring out of him.

"Ok. Well I'll let you go. I want to take an hour nap before I continue looking for that asshole. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, talk to you later."

I'm relieved when I hear him hang up. As calmly as I possibly can, I lay my phone on the breakfast bar. Then I only turn my head and narrow my eyes at Paul.

"You just made me lie to Jacob." I say angrily. "I hate lying to Jacob."

Paul sighs exhaustedly, trying to look apologetic but this time I know he's not. "I know. I didn't come here wanting to get you into trouble. I was panicked with nowhere else to go. I came here without thinking. I just needed to get away."

"How do you even know where I live?" I ask, suddenly realizing that's information he shouldn't have known from the start.

"I've seen it in their heads and I followed Jacob and Embry's scents here."

"Oh." That made sense. "So what are you going to do? You can't just ignore what happened?"

"Why not?" He asks derisively. "You're doing it."

My eyes narrow at the accusation. "That's different. What we did doesn't change the fact that you imprinted last night."

"Nor change the fact that your classmate is asking you out on another date." He bafflingly argues back.

I blink back at him stupidly, confused again over what the hell is happening right now. "What the hell does that have anything to do with this conversation? You can't escape your imprint. You have to go back to her and explain what happened, it's not fair for you to leave her wondering what the hell is going on. Rachel is kind, funny, and spunky. You'd like her, Paul. But you won't know that if you don't actually get to know her."

He angrily pushes out of his seat and starts pacing back and forth across the living room in the space between me and the sofa, as if not wanting to hear my words.

"You don't get it." He says angrily, his hands balled into tight fists at his sides. "I didn't pick her. That's what's not fair. It's not fair for this fucking wolf bullshit to decide for me." Continuing to pace and pace.

I quietly watch him, hearing him muttering unintelligibly, probably to himself. Somewhere along the way he mutters loud enough for me to overhear. "No. I won't let it."

"What are you talking about?" I finally butt in.

But it's like he doesn't even hear me, continuing to pace again for a good minute or two.

Fearing he'd create a hole in the hardwood floor big enough that our initial down payment for accidentals won't cover the damage, I try again.

"Paul." I call more forcefully.

He stops abruptly, hesitating before his head finally turns to me. He seems so angry, so grief-stricken… so lost… hopeless. It's painful for me just to see it.

He moves and then stops abruptly right in front of me, fire in his eyes, his jawline protruding out more than usual. "I'm going to fight it." He declares loudly, so sure of himself and the decision he's made.

"What?!" I ask, stupefied, my eyes widening in disbelief.

"I'm going to fight it." He repeats again.

"Can you even do that?!"

He doesn't reply, he just continues staring.

"Has any wolf tried before?"

He still doesn't answer, standing there body tight, tension rolling off of him in waves.

"Paul." I call forcefully again, trying to break him out of whatever trans he's in.

"I don't know and I don't care. I also don't care if anyone disagrees. Even the elders." He adds. "I'm going to fight it."

"What about Rachel?" I ask, frowning in worry. "What about what she wants?" Surely he wouldn't make that decision without speaking to her first.

"I don't care what she has to say. She can go back home and make it easier for me."

"Paul, that's not–"

"I don't care, Bella!" He finally shouts, an emotion other than anger peeking through, resembling very much like fear. "I'm not going to let this wolf thing take one more thing away from me. I'm going to fight it. They can tell me it's impossible however many times they fucking want but it won't change my mind. I'm not going to turn into a lovesick puppy like Jared and Sam. It's not gonna happen. Not to me."

I'm stunned into silence, wondering how the hell he's going to pull that off. It doesn't sound like it's possible. The elders made it sound like imprinting was an unbreakable bond, a supernatural tethering of the souls. How could Paul possibly break something like that?

"Ok. I'm gonna be honest here because… well you're the one who came looking for me and involved me in this mess, and we aren't even friends so if you get mad at me I don't really care. The truth can sometimes be hard to hear but it needs to be heard anyway." I ruthlessly inform him. "Just like you said, it's not fair for the spirits to choose for you. It's also not fair for you to decide for Rachel. She has a right to know and for you to confront the situation head on and tell her yourself what you're planning to do."

He narrows his eyes at me this time, opening his mouth to respond but I shut him up before he even start. I wasn't going to give in this time. I might have fucked up last night, but that didn't mean I couldn't still redeem myself. This was one thing I could still do.

"No." I say before he even tries to contradict me. "If you're man enough to reject a woman, your ass needs to be man enough to tell her the truth. She deserves it."

He grinds his teeth as he stares me down. His eyes flashing a sudden green before he closes his eyes, shaking his head as if pushing his wolf away. He goes as still as a statue, not even vibrating with the anger coursing through him.

After a few minutes his eyes snap open, his normal dark eyes catching me in their gaze. "Ok." He finally relents.

I stop myself from acting surprised. He better fucking agree, and since I'm on a roll... "And I'm going to call Jacob to tell him you're here."

"Bella." He growls deeply, almost making me shiver in response.

"Do not growl at me. I'm not doing this shit with you. I helped you last night and gave you a place to sleep for the night, but I refuse to continue to be your accomplice. Especially when you start acting like a brute." I tell him, staring him down without flinching at his corresponding growl. "I'm going to call Jacob back and admit I lied about your whereabouts. And your wolfy ass is going to man up and run your hairy ass back to La Push and confront Rachel whether you like it or not."

For a moment we just stand there, glaring at each other, a fight of wills taking place.

But I'm not backing down. He has a right to feel the way he does, I'm not denying him that. He has the right to be angry and scornful over a forceful imprinting. But when imprinting involves another person, a person who was just as innocent in this as he was, he couldn't just walk away that easily. If he could stubbornly refuse the imprint then good for him, but not while his imprint was left unaware and uninformed.

Sensing he could stay there for hours staring me down into submission, I turn back toward the counter to grab my cell phone. As I unlock the screen Paul swiftly moves forward, holding onto my wrist firmly but not hard enough to hurt me.

"Try it, asshole." I dare him, meeting his eyes head on.

He narrows his eyes at me without letting go, his jaw clenching as if trying to hold himself back.

There's a warning in his expression, I know it when his eyes flash a green color again and fade away as if it hadn't happened. From past experience I've known it's a warning, Sam drilled it into me to back down when I identify the wolves are struggling to remain under the surface because of their uncontrollable emotions. But seeing Paul's green wolf eyes don't scare me in the least. I just somehow know he would never hurt me. Don't ask me how I know that but I do. And because of that I don't back down. I stand my ground, just as I have decided to do since the beginning of our argument… or whatever the hell this was. Either way, I'm not submitting to him no matter how hard he wills it to happen. He didn't know me but today he would get a glimpse of just how hard headed I could be.

My expression never falters, until his eyes finally look away and he testily says, "At least give me a head start."

This time I can't help but to laugh, my anger dissipating into nothing. He sounded like such a petulant child, not a man of 23 years of age.

"I very much dislike you at the moment, you know that?" He says through gritted teeth, though I can tell he doesn't really mean it, not with the spark of humor in his eyes and the barely there smile he's trying to stop himself from releasing.

"Likewise." I say just as easily, "Now get out of here and go handle your shit." I order.

He growls one more time before he lets go and swiftly walks out the door, but before he opens the door he stops. To my surprise he begins taking his clothes off until he's butt ass naked again. He throws me a mischievous glare before he storms out of my house giving me a full view of his tight muscular back and hardened ass cheeks.

What. The. Actual. Fuck?!

I cover my eyes with my hand wondering how the hell I got mixed up in this drama. There's no way this was my life right now. I did not just get involved in some sort of supernatural soap opera. I wished instead of being a main character I would've been chosen as a side character. This shit was not fair.

After I call Jacob letting him know that I lied and then proceeding to admit what happened the night before, well except for the kiss which I hoped Paul would not reveal to them ever, I accept Jacob's disappointed speech and agree to have a serious conversation about it when he returns home tomorrow evening.

I don't even try to defend myself. I know I did wrong and I should've told him the truth when he initially called, but I could've just as easily continued to lie to him and he would have never known. So really I would hope he would appreciate my honesty more than anything.

To get my mind away from the bullshit, I stuff my nose into my laptop, taking a page out of Julian's book and beginning some preliminary research for our group project. Speaking of Julian I call him up and tell him I'm available for dinner after all.

He readily agrees and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was doing the right thing now. Moving on with my life and pretending that what Paul and I had done the night before never happened.

I could totally do that, right?... Right?!

"Are you going to tell me what happened or are you just going to sit there and glare at me trying to make me feel guiltier than I already feel?" I ask Jacob, becoming annoyed by his dramatic expression of disappointment.

I really didn't need his shit right now. I'd felt like I was doing the right thing concerning Paul at the time, still do. But Jacob barging in here this afternoon, ordering Embry to take a run while we had a little talk, seemed a bit too overdramatic.

"You lied, Bella."

"I did." I nod in the affirmative, so now what? "And I already apologized and did my part to convince Paul to go back home and face Rachel, which he did, didn't he?" I remind him, not giving him the chance to make me feel worse about the situation.

His eyes narrow. "He did, but you didn't warn me about what he was planning to do." Ending it with a frustrated growl.

"It wasn't my job to." I defend. "I was his confidant that night. I'm not going to feel bad for keeping quiet about what we discussed. Besides, he could've easily changed his mind about what he wanted to do on the run back, or when he saw Rachel again. The elders said the imprint was inescapable… Honestly, I didn't think he'd really be able to do it."

This time Jacob silently nods, brushing his hand back and forth across his hair. "He did it alright."

"Rachel didn't take it well?" I assume or else Jacob wouldn't look so worried right now.

"I'm not sure." He says with a frown. "Apparently she has a secret boyfriend back home. She hadn't told us about him yet because they've only been dating for about six months but she said she's serious about him. She was conflicted over how she felt about Paul and the imprint."

"But Paul told her he didn't want to reinforce the connection?" I ask tentatively.

"He said he was going to fight it, that he didn't want some spirits who forced him to be a wolf to also force him to love someone he didn't know. When Rachel heard this she understood, and she told him that if he wanted to try to break the imprint, she was willing to try too."

I remain silent as I think about his words, it sounded like she'd agreed but he also made it sound as if she hadn't had any other real choice in the matter, because Paul hadn't exactly given her one.

"You're afraid she didn't really mean it."

Jacob releases a harsh breath, rubbing his thumb and index finger roughly over his eyeballs. "Rachel can be… very selfless when she wants to be, she can also be very prideful. I think she agreed because she wants to do right by Paul but also because she wants to save face, refusing to admit his rejection hurt. I don't really know what she's feeling. She refused to talk about it after she spoke with Paul and she refused to change her flight schedule. She said it was better if she were states away from here to give Paul a chance to resist it."

I nod quietly, understanding what he meant. It sounded reasonable.

If I were rejected in that manner I think I would accept it without a fight too. There's no way I would force a man to be with me when he clearly didn't want to be. I was too prideful for that too. And I especially wouldn't want anyone to think I'd been hurt by the rejection either. I think that would hurt me more than the rejection itself. Knowing what I know of Rachel, it all seemed to be true in this case.

She had a good poker face, more secretive over her emotions than even myself. So if Jacob said he didn't know what she was feeling, I could only agree wholeheartedly. For a second I thought to call her. To see if a woman's perspective might help her out. Until the guilt I'd once tried to bury over the weekend dug its way back up to the surface forcing me to think better of it. There was no way I could pretend what happened between Paul and I hadn't happened, even through the phone.

Plus I think it's also safe to say I didn't want to get further involved in that drama.

"I think they just need some time." I tentatively try to console. "And I also think you guys shouldn't pressure either one of them to change their minds or make a different decision. It's their life after all."

"But Rachel–"

"You don't know how she feels, Jacob. She deserves the space to think about what's happened. She could eventually change her mind and maybe even Paul will too, but if you push either one of them they'll only shut down. I think everyone should just leave them alone and let them both figure it out on their own. You can't force two people to be together if they don't want to be, imprint or no imprint."

He drops his head down to his hands and growls lowly in frustration.

I scoot over to sit closer, leaning my cheek against his shoulder as I rub soothing circles on his back.

We sit in silence for a long time. After a while he groans, "Come here." turning and grasping onto me to pull me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me in a tight embrace.

I do what I can to calm his worry, hoping that my presence alone will make him feel better. I'm starting to think I might have a people-pleasing problem. I gave into Paul just to make him feel better the other night, even when I knew it was wrong. I should probably work on that…

After a long while Jacob pulls away, his hand lifting to run his thumb gently across my cheek.

"Tell me how your weekend went, I mean besides the whole Paul thing."

"Boring." I say.

His eyebrow arches in interest, a sneaky smile appearing on his face. "Boring?"

"Yup." I say, not wanting to talk about anything at this point.

"So you didn't bring someone over last night?" He asks, smirking at my stunned expression.

"You can smell him?"

"I can smell his scent on the couch."

"Oh." That's not creepy at all… stupid wolf senses.

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Yes." I admit.

"Was he good?" He nosily asks.

"Yes."

"So I don't have to make up for his lack of skills this time?" He asks in a teasing manner, though I still detect the forceful prodding in the question too.

I roll my eyes. "It's never your job to make up for any man's shortcomings." I correct him.

"I know." He agrees, his mouth twisting playfully. "But I like to." He adds, his left hand moving up my thigh until it reaches my hip, the tips of his fingers slightly digging in.

Despite my annoyance I smile, already aware of what he was trying to start and why. "If you need some stress relief yourself, you can just tell me."

"I need some stress relief." He admits openly, his fingertips digging a little deeper.

I smile mischievously and nod, climbing off his lap and kneeling in front of him. Without asking he pulls his sweat pants down, low enough for his dick to spring out.

"Take your shirt off." He orders me next.

My pulse races at the command, instantly making me wet.

He closes his eyes and sniffs the air, a low growl sounding in his chest. "You smell so fucking good."

I lift my jumper over my head and throw it to the side, I do the same with my bra.

Jacob takes a hold of himself, squeezing the tip and forcing precum to bleed out. He beckons me closer, his thumb swiping the precum away from his tip and lightly tracing it over my lips.

He growls again at my easy acceptance, "Open."

I shiver and do as he says.

He moves his ass to the edge of the couch and then guides his cock to my mouth, pushing softly in until he's settled in as deep as he can go. "Suck."

I do.

He growls and throws his head back, his whole body trembling as he restrains himself, allowing me to pick the pace.

I want him to last so I start a slow teasing rhythm that makes him groan, I smile internally, loving the way he informs me he'd rather I go harder. I don't give it to him. I like him asking, he might order me around most of the time but when it comes to the actual taking, he always asks when he knows he might lose control. His way of warning me that he's going to be rough.

After everything that's happened this weekend… I need it rough, and I'm willing to frustrate Jacob just to pull it out of him.

I wrap my hand around the root and squeeze as I push down onto him with my mouth, adding pressure but keeping the same pace.

He growls and I hear him digging his fingers into the couch, sounding so very close to tearing through the fabric.

"Bella." He warns, his frustration starting to show.

My eyes snap up to his and I playfully move slower.

He growls and closes his eyes, really trying not to lose control. When he opens them again I know he's done letting me play. "Please let me– fuck!" He almost shouts, shutting his eyes again, his muscles rippling with tension.

Taking pity on him I nod with my mouth still on him.

He releases a harsh breath and moves, grasping onto the back of my head and forcing himself deeper into my mouth. He hits the back of my throat and releases a long echoing moan. I moan too and he grips my hair in response, his hips diving in and out at a breathtaking pace.

We've been here many times before and so I've learned how to breathe through it, enough for me not to choke. I absolutely love it when I'm stressed too, I love him taking what he wants from my body, letting him guide me and forcing me to submit to his will. I'm eager to do so, I know he will more than make up for it afterward.

"Fuck, so perfect." He growls, a series of profanities escaping his lips, and I know he's close.

My pussy is literally vibrating with need, my clit throbbing and begging to be touched. I can't resist slipping my hand into my pants, rubbing against my swollen clit.

Jacob's eyes blaze at the action, his face taking me on my knees and my outward need for him. And he loses it. "Shit, Bella, dont– I– fuck!" He finally grunts, coming fast and hard.

I feel him spurting down my throat and I fight to swallow it all until there's nothing left.

As soon as he's done and before I have time to react he pushes the couch away from him, making room for him to lay me down on the floor, ripping my sweats off and diving in, his mouth latching onto my still aching pussy.

He growls deep in his throat as if the taste is utterly intoxicating, ravishing me before I waste away.

I instinctively grab onto the foot of the coffee table and brace myself as best as I can, I'm not gonna last long, I'm already very, very close. My toes curl and my back arches off the floor in anticipation. The back of my head grinds down against the hardwood floor, I'm losing it and I'm losing it fast.

I'm successful at holding it off for a minute more but it's a lost cause when he puckers his lips and sucks on my clit while simultaneously rubbing the tip of his tongue against it. "Oh god!" I scream, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as my orgasm rolls over me. I shamelessly grind my pussy into Jacob's face, making a mess of him. He doesn't relent, even after my orgasm is over. I know he won't.

He's barely getting started.

He shoves two of his thick fingers inside of me and my legs tremble, my pussy feeling sensitive, it's both pain and pleasure. Jacob is good at doing both at the same time.

The feeling becomes so intense I instinctively try to crawl away, Jacob doesn't let me. His hold on me tightens and his face pushes harder against my sensitive flesh.

"Jacob." I practically cry.

He doesn't respond, he doesn't let go, he moans deeply and the vibrations bring forth the beginning stirs of my second orgasm.

Shit, not again.

I continue battling against him. Trying to push him away from me while simultaneously pulling him closer, willing him to give me more.

How? I have no fucking idea how. But I want it. I need it.

And just as always, he knows exactly what I need. His fingers pump harder, deeper. I'm leaking so much that I can both feel and hear the wetness as his tongue moves over my pussy, his fingers moving at a frantic pace.

I'm losing ground and doing it fast. I reach down and dig my fingers into his scalp. He growls hard, both angry and demanding, silently ordering me to come.

I do. My heart moving up to my throat and curling up into myself as my orgasm breaks through.

I'm panting and moaning, my body spasming out of control. Jacob takes pity on me and finally lets go. His lips moving soothingly up my stomach slowly tracing his tongue along my body, tantalizingly running it around my nipples while I come down from my high. He kisses my nipples and slowly opens his mouth bit by bit as he continues until my nipple finds its way into his mouth. He doesn't suck, knowing I'm still sensitive, comfortingly running his warm wet tongue against the surface. His lips continue moving higher until he reaches my face, looking down at me and caressing my face tenderly despite how tightly wound his own body is.

"I need you to be ready, Bella." He warns me softly. "I'm about to explode again. You taste so fucking good I almost couldn't stop." He says his hips instinctively pushing against my sex until his cock slips in between my swollen pussy lips.

We both shiver together, but his body tenses, dropping his forehead against my chest as his hands grip my sides.

"Please let me in." He begs.

I'm not even remotely ready. My insides are still quivering, my body still pulsing from my last two orgasms. I'm hypersensitive everywhere, but when he begs like that, I can't help but to say yes. As a matter of fact, I'd probably beg him to fuck me. My hands come alive and I grasp onto him, nodding my agreement, "I'm ready."

He releases a harsh breath and he shifts his hips lower. When he slips inside we both groan out loud, "God, you're so warm and swollen, so wet."

"Move, Jacob." I instruct, feeling my walls tightening around him already.

He growls at my words and starts moving. His pace is swift, already knowing what he's seeking. I'm right there with him digging my nails into his back.

He curses into my ear and pulls away, capturing my lips in his. His tongue delves deep, lapping at my own tongue as his cock laps inside matching the pace with his tongue.

I'm starting to feel frantic, eager for him to pound into me. I still need it. This weekend was just too much for me to handle calmly, and for one unfortunate moment the picture of Paul and I, slips into my mind.

I pull away from Jacob's lips. Opening my eyes to focus on Jacob's face, my jaw clenching.

Focus on the now, Bella.

Jacob's warm breath hits me in the face and I breathe it in, pulling all of my attention to the man right here with me.

"Harder." I ask, "I need it harder."

Without complaint he leans further away and holds my hips down, preventing me from moving with him and then he pounds into me. Hard.

His muscles strain with power and he grunts, his pecs and abs flexing with the effort.

He's growling and I'm whining, feeling like he's about to break me but wanting it almost desperately. I'm close, he knows it too. He closes his eyes for a moment as if he's lost any sense of self, like he's solely in his body and no longer feels anything in the outside world.

I do the same, losing myself in what my body is feeling at this very moment and letting all the worries of the past couple of days, drift off. I explode, feeling Jacob exploding with me, our bodies riding the waves and enjoying every single second of it. I absolutely love it.

When we're done he drops to my side, lying flat on his back, his chest heaving just as hard as mine is.

"Shit. That was good."

I barely manage a breathless chuckle at his pronouncement.

We both just lay there on the floor, waiting to catch our breaths. He's the first one to move, turning to his side, his hand automatically going to my breast.

"I can't do that again so soon." I warn, my body having long melted into a pool of jelly on the floor.

He throws his head back and barks out a laugh. "Me neither." He agrees. "I missed you."

I turn my head and smile. And when I finally feel like I've regained a bit of strength I turn to my side to face him fully, hooking my leg over his hip. He's smiling but there's a hidden sadness in his expression. As if he's holding himself back, but I don't know if it's from me or from himself.

"You seem… conflicted."

He bites the inside of his lip, looking away for a long moment.

I give him the time to gather his thoughts. Giving him some space and closing my eyes while he still absentmindedly caresses the underside of my breast.

After a few minutes of silence he lightly flicks my nipple and I open my eyes, finding his eyes already on me.

"Trying not to be biased, and not taking into consideration who Paul's imprint is. I can objectively see where he's coming from…. and I'm slightly jealous."

I frown at him, confused as to why he felt that way.

He looks down from my face, his eyes perusing through my body, but not really seeing me. "I would've never considered fighting the imprint." He admits.

Ohhhh… ok… I see that now.

"Does that mean you're considering it now?" I ask curiously, "I mean if it ever happens to you?"

He stays on his side but drops his head into his bicep, pulling my hand up to his cheek as if to center himself. "I don't know… I think… I think I would accept it."

"Really?!" Well that is a surprise. "I thought you hated even the idea of imprinting."

"I do… I mean I did… but watching the suffering in Paul's expression last night. It was… terrifying."

"Was he in pain?" I ask in worry. "He looked in a lot of pain when he stumbled through our doorway the other night. I was so worried about him."

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. "You wouldn't want to see it now, Bella. Trust me."

I drop my head onto my own bicep, feeling so helpless. Paul was a jerk but I didn't want him to suffer.

He opens his eyes and looks deep into mine. "I'm not brave enough to do what he's doing." Jacob whispers, as if admitting to a shameful secret.

I lean forward and kiss his lips lightly, letting him know I'm with him. "I don't believe that." I argue. "You're brave enough to fight against anything. I just think you've subconsciously accepted it but you've externally convinced yourself it's not okay to."

He frowns at my words, pulling me closer to his body. "Tell me more." He requests, knowing I'm giving him my own opinion on the situation.

"You've always been against falling in love. I used to think it was because you were young, hot, and still too busy soaking your dick into any pretty pussy you could find."

He snorts quietly, pursing his lips to keep himself from laughing.

"But now I think you've been saving your heart for her this whole time. You've been afraid to get into a relationship only because you're afraid of imprinting and breaking someone else's heart. You've always been so sweet, so caring about other people's feelings. I think you didn't want to risk putting someone else's heart in a grinder when you found your imprint because you knew you would want it. You would fully throw yourself into that one person who was meant solely for you."

He looks at me thoughtfully. His eyes analyzing my face, looking for any signs of doubt. He's not going to find it. I'm being honest, not just trying to make him feel better this time. It's what I firmly believe.

"I fucking love you, Bella." He says suddenly, his face transforming into a hopeful smile.

"I love you too. Always. Even after you find your imprint we will never stop being friends."

"Never." He agrees. "And if she loves me, she'll love you too."

"This ain't no sister wives situation, Jacob."

He laughs at my joke. Pulling me even closer. "I know that, crazy. I doubt my dick would even get up for you anymore."

"It gets up for me now." I point out, pressing my stomach against his already semi-erect penis.

He groans and slaps my ass. "I swear to god if you don't stop teasing we're never gonna leave this floor and Embry will walk in on us mid-act."

"And what would be wrong with that?" I flirt, really not giving two shits if he does when my body flares in desire again. It wouldn't be the first time Embry's caught us in action.

He chuckles darkly and moves right in.