Chapter LXXVIII

Deliverance

TW: Eating Disorders

I'm suffocating. As a result, I'm abruptly torn from my deep slumber. I feel as if someone has buried me under bricks or had stone blankets piled on top of me. I'm crushed under an immense weight, as if the hospital collapsed on me while I was sleeping. I'm barely wheezing; my miserable breaths of air hardly fill my empty lungs. I'm so exhausted that I want to go back to sleep … but I'm slowly dying.

I painfully open my eye and discover that Naruto is lying on top of me. He's peacefully surfing on the river of wonder that I was on a few seconds ago. He seems so heavy all of a sudden. After each exhales, my chest is crushed a little more. I'm going to end up suffocating. I don't have time to ask myself questions. My priority is to get him out of me as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, only useless murmurs escape my lips when I call out to him. As best as I can, I try to stay calm so as not to panic and therefore advance the inevitable, which will be fatal. Since my voice is muted, I bring my trembling hand with difficulty to his thigh and pinch his skin, as hard as I can; a hope that this will wake him up.

This hardly makes him react, if at all. I continue my sad torture using both hands this time. My tiny gestures require too much effort. Instead of strengthening their grip, I'm weakening. I can't even pinch his skin, as if I were pinching a rock. Since it's futile, I opt for another approach. I painfully reach his hips to tickle him. This time, I finally get an answer. Quickly, he squirms in discomfort.

Fortunately, it annoys my student, who lets out a disgruntled and angry grunt. He escapes from my hands as he stands up and looks for the cause of the unpleasant tickling. As for me, I noisily fill my lungs several times. As soon as I catch my breath, I notice Naruto's confused and worried look. He no longer crushes my chest … but he breaks my pelvis by sitting on it instead. What does that mean? He has regained his strength, sure, but he's far from having regained his healthy weight. Even if it was the case, he shouldn't be this heavy.

"... Naruto… Get out of my bed… You're crushing me…"

The sapphire-eyed boy complies. However, when he stands up, I'm almost propelled upwards, as if a gigantic weight has been lifted. Faced with the overload it had to endure, the mattress sank. Perplexed, I blink frantically. As for Naruto, he uselessly wags his tail. Half asleep, my brain refuses to think, refuses to find an answer to what I've just experienced. I honestly wonder if I'm dreaming or if I'm hallucinating.

"Naruto, can you sit on the edge of the bed?"

He pouts and his throat buzzes. Nevertheless, he rests his ass on the sheets. Immediately, the mattress sinks back; I slide briefly into the hollow created by Naruto's abnormal weight. He has become so heavy, and it's not normal. Based on how thin he is, he should be around a hundred pounds at most. However, he seems to be double his weight, even triple. Taken aback, I stare at my student, who arches an eyebrow and tilts his head to the right. Unlike me, he's in no way troubled by this rather worrying phenomenon.

I'm suddenly struck with an epiphany.

"Naruto, can you lift your shirt and show me your frontal mark?"

Naruto pulls up his top to expose his chest. Instead of black lightning shapes that adorn the diamond, rocky and abstract shapes decorate it. I gently wave my hand to ask for his, and he offers it to on the spot. I don't get a static electricity shock upon contact. Since I'm used to his veil of static electricity, I didn't notice he lost it. When caressing his skin, the texture is very different and so weird; it's rough, even grainy…

Obviously, Shikamaru's chakra nature is earth. As a result, Naruto is no longer a lightning entity. I completely forgot that he imbues itself with the nature of the chakra he devours. It's the reason why he suddenly became as heavy as a rock.

Additionally, his body made the transition in record time unlike when he was locked up. It's surely linked to the fact that he was greatly weakened due to his forced and prolonged fast; he was just flesh and bones after all. In perfect health, he could make the transition to the new element in a few hours.

"You've become an earthy entity," I whisper, looking back at Naruto. "I know it's not your fault, but you can't lie in my bed and on top of me anymore. I woke up because I couldn't breathe. And sleep claims me again."

Disappointed, the blond looks away. He sighs before leaving my bed, which returns to its original shape. The slight discomfort of "sliding" towards a disturbing void in my sheets disappears. Only now do I realize that the fruits he hid are no longer there. I can't feel them at all, even though he put them against me.

"The fruits. What did you do with them?"

Naruto points to the bedside table to my right. He stored them in the drawer.

"I see." I try to get comfortable before going back to sleep. His venom is still in my body. That I woke up with a large amount travelling through my bloodstream reassures me. If my life is threatened, I'm awakened from unconsciousness. Pain can also wake me up. Two time, Naruto gave me an excruciatingly unpleasant awakening by electrocuting me during a nightmare after all.

Curiosity has time to occupy my mind. The nature of the chakra with which he has imbued himself intrigues me. What are the mysteries that the earth hides? What new abilities does it grant him? I'm unable to do any testing, of course, but I intend to ask someone else.

Without further ado, I find the land of dreams, which welcomes me with open arms like an old friend.

- XxX -

My mind is slow, takes a long time to fully wake up. When I open my eyes, my retina is burned by a bright light, which forces me to close my eyelid while turning my head; at that, I let out a useless growl and reduce the influx of light by brandishing an arm. I… I can move again. Finally! Finally, I can stop the agonizing itching in my fingers!

"Good afternoon, Kakashi-Sensei," Sakura greets me warmly.

I barely open my eye. The curtains are drawn, and the rays of the sun cover me with their splendour; this includes my eye that doesn't like their blinding greetings at all. Sakura is examining and treating Naruto's injuries. The scratches on his arms have faded, like the strange burns. His ebony tail is wrapped around my left wrist and the hairs at the end of it tickle my skin. In turn, Naruto greets me with a radiant smile.

"How are you doing?" she asks me, focused on the care she provides to her friend.

"Pretty good, actually. If I can move my arms, that's a good sign, I guess."

She nods. "You no longer have a fever either. You can start eating today. If all goes well, we'll be able to get rid of your IVs in a few days."

Eat real meals, she should say. I already ate yesterday. I was so hungry that I even devoured the peel of a tangerine … and I can't tolerate the slightest peel at all, so much so that I peel them carefully for far too long…

I can't believe I wolfed down the peel…

Something is seriously wrong with me…

The bedside table captures my attention; it's an irrepressible invitation to roughly rub my nails against it without shame… I painfully hold myself back from reaching it. I don't want Sakura to ask me questions. Knowing her, it's inevitable. In the meantime, she finishes taking care of the blond's wounds. They're healing well since she doesn't need to bandage the wounds.

"Master Tsunade told me to remind you to get rid of your genjutsu."

I sigh.

I was hoping that she would forget me… "I will, I will," I mutter, annoyed.

"You shouldn't be in too much pain if that's what's bothering you, Kakashi-Sensei," she reassures me. "I'll come back to inquire about your condition once you're no longer under its effect."

I reluctantly nod, letting out another sigh. I frown. Sakura's face darkens.

"Say… Is it me or is Naruto not producing electricity anymore...?"

"It is indeed the case. With Shikamaru's chakra, his chakra nature became earth." I lock my gaze on Naruto. "If you can do some exams and discover his new abilities today, I'd appreciate it. I can't do them. That said, I know he became heavier than normal."

"What do you mean?"

"With a scale, you'll have your answers."

The girl frowns. She's not at all convinced. "Okay, I'll see about that," she agrees, putting away her equipment. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes, once you're—"

"… freed from this genjutsu. Yes, I know," I finish dryly.

Surprised, but not surprised, I get no response from her when she leaves my room. As soon as the door closes, I give my full attention to the bedside table. I hurry to reach it and frantically rub my nails against it, scratching ferociously on the wooden surface. Excruciatingly pleasant electric currents wash over me as the unbearable itching subsides after each dull squeak my fingers produce. I grunt with pleasure and moan under my breath.

The relief is indescribable; there are no words to express the well-being that this gesture gives me. I endured this hellish discomfort for hours and hours, and I was about to go crazy. This relief surpasses that of emptying my bladder after holding it in until the last second, or that of reaching that part of my back to scratch that spot that has been itching for too long.

My right hand is finally soothed. I scan everything on my left to tackle the next one. Unfortunately, there's nothing that will do, and my fingers are getting impatient too. I can't yet turn around to attack the bedside table so far away, but so close to me…

A screech catches my attention. Naruto approaches his stool to me.

Without delay, I scratch again. My joy is euphoric. The itching finally disappears for good. My ordeal is over, and I'm completely relaxed; at that, I forget all my problems. I breathe a sigh of relief and close my eyes. Even the pain in my arms seems to have vanished. I feel gentle, pleasant caresses in my hair, and my comfort grows. I'm like a child cradled by the tenderness of a mother. I wanna doze off…

However, Lady Tsunade's order regarding the genjutsu resurrects in my mind.

I don't want to be freed from this spell…

I'm dependent on its protective veil…

But I don't have the right to choose, alas…

"Naruto," I call out to him, looking into his eyes. "You must break the genjutsu that you used to bewitch me for my pain."

My words take the teenager by surprise. Based on his facial features, he doesn't understand the purpose of my request.

"If it was just me, I wouldn't ask you. However, to know the progress of my recovery, I need to know if the pain has subsided or if it has gotten worse. My life could be in danger, and your genjutsu could compromise the warning signs of a serious problem. That said… Are you capable of breaking your own spell, at least...?"

Naruto pouts. He's not keen on the idea—on the contrary, he shows me his disagreement. Nevertheless, he leans towards me and gently places his hands on my cheeks to force me to look at him. I fear the suffering. A drop of sweat beads on my temple. Of course, I offer no resistance as his azure irises light up and take over my defenceless eye. An icy and ephemeral cold spreads throughout my being, leaving in its wake suffering in full awakening that makes me grind my teeth.

Naruto pulls out of me. I'm rocked in flames. The worst pain is my chakra network burning white hot. All in all, I'm not into hell. I already miss the tranquility of his hypnotic powers, but I can tolerate this threshold of pain. Strangely, my teeth still hurt. I assume I have a tooth abscess, and it will soon go away on its own, since my toothache is no more.

Only my chakra veins make me agonize a little. It's hardly surprising. They're neglected by inaction, and I suddenly overworked them during that night, which almost proved fateful for me. I'm suffering from chakra exhaustion, although it's the first time I've suffered this much. Due to my Sharingan constantly siphoning off my chakra, I take much longer than average to recover from it.

I'm perpetually tired because of my daily offering of chakra to Naruto, sure, but I can't let myself waste away like this anymore. I absolutely need to get my act together. Training is required as soon as I leave the hospital. I must adapt to the disadvantages imposed by my student. I refuse to live through another similar episode, in which I almost lost him a second time… No. I forbid myself. I will no longer allow anyone to underestimate me. The will of fire ignites and comes back to life; a fierce determination sprouts within me.

I will also train Naruto despite the risks. I want him to get rid of the fear that paralyzes him. I want him to be able to fill my physical weaknesses. I'm much more confident. My control over him is almost complete. I will keep him under control no matter what, even if he's no longer fearful.

I don't want to take any more risks.

On my life, I swore to protect Naruto.

And I intend to keep my promise.

I clench my fists. My gesture causes Naruto to grab my hand tenderly. He sits on the stool and watches over me. He's anxious. His eyes are still blue and bright and no bloody tears fall from them. It reassures me. Breaking his spell required less effort.

Since I can move my arms again, I take my book to continue reading while waiting for Sakura. Holding the book tires me, but I don't care. I value my independence too much to ask Naruto to do it for me.

- XxX -

Fifteen minutes later, I hear footsteps approaching my room, forcing me to put down my book. I recognize Sakura right away … and she's not alone. To my surprise, Shikamaru is behind her. His left arm is in a cast and is held by a fabric sheath around his neck; at that, in his right hand, he holds a briefcase which arouses my interest.

"Shikamaru!" I utter, surprised. "I didn't expect to see you so soon."

"You both seem to be doing better," Shikamaru replies.

I nod. "And your arm?"

"My arm hurts, but it's okay. I stopped having a fever yesterday, and I can go home today."

"I see. Sorry again for Naruto…"

"It's not your fault," he sighs. "The important thing is that your life is out of danger."

Of course. I can only agree with him. A broken bone is a very small price to pay to save me from the clutches of death, especially since it would have taken Naruto away shortly after…

"Kakashi-Sensei, how are you?" Sakura asks me dryly, crossing her arms. "Or should I make a report of insubordination to Master Tsunade?"

"…Don't bother. I'm free from any mental spell now," I say as a cold sweat broke out on my forehead. "I'm having a bad time, but I'll survive."

Her facial features soften. She's satisfied with my answer. "Are you able to sit?"

"We'll find out soon." I try to sit down. I use my weak, trembling arms to help and hold me … with misery. The pain shoots through me suddenly, tearing out a dull groan from me. Naruto is quick to give me a hand. Thanks to him, I manage to sit. I can't wait to sit and stand on my own, get out of this bed and take my first steps. My legs are excruciatingly stiff.

"Thank you," I thank him as he smiles back at me.

"Good. You can eat later," she tells me with a smile.

"Indeed," I agree, smiling. But my smile is fake; I'm not hungry at all, and I don't want to eat. If I think about it, I get nauseous and my stomach makes weird gurgling noises.

Shikamaru places the briefcase on my sheets. "Reading for you. It's the detailed report of the incident," he explains to me.

I touch the file with my fingertips. The anxieties are already there, tormenting my racing heart. Because of my rather difficult recovery and the fact that I almost died and lost Naruto, it slipped my mind. I fear knowing the mystery of these pages, read these words that send shivers down my spine. I have a very bad feeling… Obviously, I repress my emotions so as not to worry Naruto.

"We're also awaiting your report," he adds.

"Thank you, Shikamaru. I'll look at that later."

The youngster nods. As for Sakura, she approaches me to whisper something. So, I listen attentively to her.

"We'll be able to do tests on Naruto … but there's a small problem…" The tone she takes puts me on edge. "Naruto forbids anyone from coming near and taking care of you," she continues darkly. "He attacked a nurse when you were unconscious."

I understand better why I didn't see anyone else besides Sakura, Shizune and Lady Tsunade. It's not good, not good at all. Naruto is supposed to be fearful and harmless, and not the other way around. This sudden aggression worries me, although it may be justified. His fear of losing me must fuel his distrust. He must have believed that the nurse was coming to attack me, and he wanted to protect me, without knowing that he was hurting me instead. I hope this change in behaviour will fade once I recover…

Otherwise, he will end up in a cage, me with him.

"Due to his possessiveness towards me, this hardly surprises me, Sakura. I will settle the matter." She nods, and I lock my gaze on Naruto. "Naruto, Sakura and Shikamaru would like to do some tests with you, nothing too serious. Can you go with them and do what they tell you?" I show my best smile. "That would make me elated, you know."

Naruto doesn't want to leave me all alone. His hand clings anxiously to mine, firmly, determined not to let go.

"I'll be fine. You don't have to worry. Nothing will happen to me. I'm in good hands here. Come on. Join them. We'll see each other again later."

Naruto lets out a long, sulky whine, tail wagging. He looks over at me, at his comrades, back at me and so on, until his deep blue eyes focus on our hands linked together. He's indecisive, unable to make a choice. I don't like to take him by the feelings, but I have to manipulate him a little so that he gives in.

"Now, now, Naruto. Don't you want to please me?" I insist with puppy eyes. "I'm afraid I'll be disappointed if you refuse. I just want to discover the extent of your powers and as you can see, I can't leave this bed."

The feral boy stares at me and frowns.

"But hey… I can't force you if you don't want to," I sigh exaggeratedly. "It's okay. I just have to be patient…"

He frowns even more; his brows are too furrowed. He knows I'm doing it on purpose, but my sad false words are an obligation for him to give in. Reluctantly, he releases my hand and moves dangerously close to my face. I can easily guess what he wants to do. I place my hand on my forehead and that stops Naruto from covering me with drool and licking me in front of everyone. Besides, he looks askance at my hand, annoyed that I'm stopping him.

"Before you leave. Inevitably, someone will come into my room. This person, whoever they are, will do absolutely no harm to me. So, don't come and get involved, Naruto. You will kindly do what Sakura and Shikamaru tell you, am I clear?"

The blond hisses loudly, rolling his eyes. He shoves his hands roughly into his pockets and agrees to follow the teenagers, who bid me goodbye. From the corner of his eye, Naruto watches me, keeping me in his field of vision as much as he can. He's in no way calm about leaving me alone, that's understood.

As the door closes, I sigh in relief. Being alone and no longer being stared at for hours and hours feels great.

However, this feeling of well-being doesn't last.

Slowly, I approach a fearful hand to the back of my neck. My fingers freeze when they touch the silver strands that rest on the back of my mask. I slide my fingers under the fabric to examine my skin. I jump when I brush against the invisible hairs that line the skin. Finally, I carefully caress my skin. I don't feel anything strange; the sensations are the same as usual.

Unconsciously, I draw lines with precision, imagining this black mark which has anchored itself in my mind forever. I compare with my left shoulder, on which the symbol of the will of fire has been engraved, the same one which proves my past as an ANBU member. This black imprint is identical to this red tattoo visible only with the eyes.

The fact that I can't reach it leads me to believe that it doesn't exist… Yet, it's very real. It's definitely present on the back of my neck. I can't explain it, but I feel it if I focus on it and nothing else. It's there and is now part of me… However, I feel as if I'm perceiving a presence emanating from it. Something dark lurks there, prowls and spies on me. A shiver runs down my spine. I feel observed. By what? I can't put it into words, I can't explain it. It's far too abstract. There are no words to express the strange feeling that invades me regarding this mark on the back of my neck.

I sigh, letting go of my neck. The unknown worries me; I'm probably imagining things.

I turn my attention to the report and hold my breath. I swallow and take it with trembling hands. I take a long, deep breath before opening it, exposing all its secrets. I therefore read with apprehension.