Chapter LXXXII

Between Two Worlds

TW: Eating Disorder

I wake up at around noon, shortly before I'm given another meal that I have to eat. As with the previous one, solid food finds it difficult to force its way into my constricted esophagus—a consequence of my stomach that is determined to remain empty. I depend on the medication to finish my meal, and soon it will no longer work.

My body is already building antibodies to resist it. Despite the numbing drug supposed to put everything to sleep, I still feel the annoying protests of my useless organ, and I'm nauseous. Of course, I relegate this information to the nurse when she comes to collect my tray and draw my blood.

Lady Tsunade will see me today. I await her visit with anxiety. She will probably tell me about my resistance to medications, which is seriously starting to ruin my life. I no longer have any pleasure in eating. I don't need to lose the only help with which I can eat and gain weight without regurgitating everything afterwards. What will I do if I resist the miracle cure that could save my life in the future? Sure, I'm a shinobi with an immune system made of steel, but I'm still a man like any other. Old age won't forget me, and a mortal illness won't spare me.

Naruto fell asleep at my bedside, although the comings and goings of the nurses made him keep an eye open. I repeat to him that he can lie down in the next bed, and each time his refusal is absolute. According to his terrified face, the bed must bring up trauma within him. I assume Naruto was given a bunk like this during his kidnapping … and not for comfort.

His injuries have almost disappeared; they are simple redness that will fade by tomorrow. Only fatigue hollows out his exhausted face; the dark circles that adorn his eyes speak for themselves. He doesn't sleep enough, if at all. That said, he will be able to rest tonight. If I trust that nightmarish night in which I was almost assaulted, the full moon will force him to sleep.

While I digest my sad meal, the hospital staff barricade the windows of my room, now condemned to darkness. They use hardened fibre boards by nailing them to the wall. With curtains, no light can slip through this barrier. The room is plunged into a rather relaxing darkness. To save my student from unnecessary blindness, a floor lamp with two globes is plugged in and installed at my bedside, illuminating the surroundings with a soft light that allows me to read. The dangers of the imminent full moon are over; one less worry.

My chakra veins no longer hurt as much; they're just a little sore. I may have recovered enough chakra to feed Naruto tomorrow night. I'm willing to bet that he would rather devour a tiny amount of chakra than be offered an "all you can eat buffet." I don't want him to have another meltdown of this magnitude again. Although he accepted Kiba's chakra more easily, the mental repercussions were much more violent than with Shikamaru.

Naruto screamed like a beast in agony and tore out many blond locks. I couldn't stroke his hair to comfort him. Since he was under too much stress, his hairs were fragile and stuck to my hand, probably accentuating their inevitable whitening. He vomited bile several times. I couldn't soothe his cries either; my voice didn't reach him. He weighs tons, sure, but I allowed him to climb on top of me so I could cradle him in my arms. He crushed my thighs and hid his face in my chest moistened with his tears. His cries of despair were so loud and must have been heard by the entire hospital.

I don't know what causes this rupture in him if he devours another chakra than mine, and I don't care. I'm ready to extend my stay and my convalescence to spare him unimaginable suffering. As soon as I can and as long as I can, my chakra will be offered to him on a silver platter. When I woke up this afternoon, I took a look at Naruto's forehead mark on his chest. It hasn't changed; Kiba's chakra nature is also earth.

Since I can stand up on my own and my legs are eager to stretch, the nurse removes this uncomfortable catheter. The relief of no longer having a tube in my penis going to my bladder is indescribable. I don't wait long to have a need to relive myself and therefore, an ideal excuse to take my first steps since my hospitalization.

Slowly, I sit on the edge of the bed under the watchful and anxious gaze of the blond, ready to give me a hand. I inhale a few times and give myself momentum to jump on my two feet … but I overestimated myself since I lose my balance. Fortunately, Naruto catches me in my fall and helps me to stand. I thank him, letting out a few nervous laughs as I focus on my wobbly legs to stabilize. I remain upright and stand on my own in less than a minute.

I take my IV stand and go to the bathroom, crossing the few metres of distance. With my legs completely rusted, it feels like I'm walking for miles. Nevertheless, these small steps and the feeling of having regained my independence do me a lot of good.

Naruto follows me like an annoying lapdog to the bathroom … and I have to order him to stay out. He doesn't argue, although he begins to stand guard in front of the door, making me sigh. After relieving myself for the very first time since I'm bedridden, I linger on my reflection.

If I omit my unnaturally soft and ever-so-gorgeous hair, I'm not a pretty sight. My complexion is atrociously white, even translucent. Dark circles darken my eyes. When I take off my mask, it's worse. My face is sunken and sickly like I'm terminally ill. That said, because of my questionable genes, I don't have to shave anything. Otherwise, my mask would constantly itch; I would have left its comfort before the end of my puberty…

However, one detail troubles me. Without blinking, I approach the mirror and stare at my right eye, which is as black as the night. I tilt my head to my right and frown. I can't recognize it. I open my eyelids, losing myself in the infinite darkness lurking behind my pupil. A weird cold shiver runs through my entire body, so much so that I have goosebumps. I can't explain it, but something is wrong with my eye. What? I don't have the faintest idea.

I just feel like this gaze isn't mine.

I shake my head, slide a hand through my enchanting mane. With my meal still on my heart, I'm probably hallucinating things… Especially since the toilet is trying to hypnotize me with its evil song, happy to welcome everything I strive to keep within myself.

My organ of love is racing like my breathing. I swallow, start to sweat and shake like a leaf. Slowly, so slowly that a feather would have time to touch the ground when falling from the ceiling, I lower the back part of my mask which covers my neck. I turn around and lift the locks that rest on the back of my neck.

I hold my breath when I see it.

There's indeed a black mark on my skin. These abstract shapes send shivers down my spine. If I could deny its existence, I can no longer do so. With my fingertips, I caress the deep black drawings. The skin underneath doesn't differ; the surface is smooth, identical and the small hairs invisible to the naked eye are still present. It's as if someone had carved a tattoo on the back of my neck… No … A cursed mark.

Its mysteries terrify me. I need to know the reason why Naruto imprinted this mark of bad omens on me. But most importantly: can I just get rid of it? Will it last until I die? I can't know, find any hypothesis to adhere to… Due to Naruto's fault, Gai's team failed to capture one of these enemies. With his odious howl, these shinobi escaped. I can't blame him since he didn't do it on purpose, but I'm seething with anger. I would have had my answers if Naruto had just remained in shock.

I sigh, pulling up my mask. At the same time, my fingertips are itching unpleasantly. I shake them in the air, rub them on my clothes, but the tickles persist. What does that mean? Why did it come back without warning all of a sudden? Are their current lengths to be blamed? I don't think so. This isn't the first time that I've had long nails, especially after being hospitalized and paralyzed for a while. I plan to find a nail clipper before the end of the day.

The wall on my right overwhelms all my attention; it's an invitation to debauchery. Without shame, I roughly rub my nails up and down. A few scratches are enough to silence the infernal sensations in my fingers. I frown. I stare at my fingers, trying to find the origin of this annoying itching.

At the same time, I notice the disgusting state of my shiny skin, which is gradually becoming dirty. I sniff myself; the foul smell on my wrist has left me, but I stink of sweat to the fullest. A shower is in order soon… I hope that my smell won't make Naruto want to cover me in drool in order to "wash" me with it. I won't have the strength to push him away if he keeps me hostage with all his limbs.

I have an excruciatingly unpleasant chill. Uselessly, I imagine his mutated tongue running all over my body. I can only endure as he forcibly holds me on my back while he straddles me. His tongue slides shamelessly across my chest and down, down and down … like my pants and my underwear that are pulled down. I feel a strange jolt in my lower stomach; another unusual thrill makes me grind my teeth. I hiss while biting my lower lip…

I immediately slap my burning face and smack my cheeks without restraint.

What's wrong with me?!

I run a hand through my hair and let out a sigh before heading out to my bed.

I don't have time to reach it since I hear the sound of heels approaching. Imitated by Naruto, I direct my gaze towards the door. Lady Tsunade enters my room, followed closely by Shizune, who is pushing a small metal cart on which there are many accessories of all kinds.

"Lord Hokage," I exclaim, doing my best to offer her a formal greeting.

The blond glares at them as he stands in front of me to visibly "protect" me.

"You can finally walk," she notes with a satisfied smile. "Sit down, Kakashi."

I nod and comply. Painfully, I settle into my bed after putting my IV stand back in its designated place. Shizune stands next to me and activates the second bulb of the lamp. The light surrounding the room is a little too dazzling for my taste and stings my retina. I narrow my eyes, letting out a quiet growl. This radiant bombardment doesn't please Naruto at all; he's growling, one arm brandished in front of his eyes.

"I was told that you're already starting to resist medication for your meals?" Lady Tsunade asks me.

"Indeed," I confirm darkly. "It was effective the first time. The second time, I barely lost feeling in my throat and tongue. I didn't have gastric reflux, but I still felt my upset stomach."

"That's problematic. Your body is too careful. If you continue to ingest it, you will inevitably resist analgesics."

"I'm afraid so, unfortunately…"

"You'll have to do without it, Kakashi. We can't risk you developing immunity. You'll have to relearn your stomach to accept food and resolve this anorexic disorder on your own. If you can't eat, we'll have no choice but to use a gastric tube."

I swallow when she mentions the word "anorexia." This makes me very uncomfortable, brings shame within me. Never in my life did I believe that I'd be told that I suffer from anorexia. Sadly, I give the impression as it seems to be the case… But there's a catch. My strange cravings seem more like binge eating disorder than anything else. Again, if I try to talk about it, my throat constricts and forces me into silence. Furthermore, I don't want to have a new probe installed at all when one has just been removed…

"I see," I whisper, twirling my thumbs together.

"We'll prepare some small snacks for you," she adds. "Eating between meals should help you in the process and break that nasty habit of having an empty stomach." She pauses, landing her stern eyes on my student. "Naruto have to reduce his dosages. Your body is probably overreactive due to the large amount constantly travelling through your bloodstream."

"I think so… Do you think I can get rid of my addiction to his venom?"

Lady Tsunade looks away.

"We can't be sure about that," Shizune explains flatly. "There's a good chance that the damage are … irreparable."

"I see," I mutter, looking at the blond, who immediately avoids eye contact with me. "It's okay, Naruto. I'm not mad at you."

I want to show him a smile, but I can't. He feels that my words aren't sincere. I'm chained to him, and it puts me in a very delicate situation. For sleep, I depend on him now. I just hope he doesn't get too upset because of me. It's not his fault, strictly speaking, and I can't hold a grudge.

After an uncomfortable silence, Godaime sighs, a hand on her hip. "Anyway. Take off your clothes, so we can take a look at that mark on the back of your neck."

My heart stops and I jump; this makes my cheekbones overheat. At the thought of my face being seen against my will… I stare at them funny. Before I can protest, Shizune hands me a surgical mask. "Ah…"

Meanwhile, my obvious uneasiness affects Naruto. He hisses while gradually bristling his hairs. He wags his tail and stares at the Hokage aggressively.

"Easy, Naruto," I say, grabbing his hand, which calms him a little. "You don't have to worry. They just want to examine me. They won't do me any harm. No matter what they do, you're gonna let them do it, okay?"

The sapphire-eyed boy stops hissing, although he pouts; his tail swinging angrily betrays his disagreement. However, he stays away … sort of. He remains close to me, ready to act.

I hasten to replace my mask with this light-blue mask. I take off my hospital gown and tank top. I'm ashamed; showing my thinness embarrasses me and doesn't please me at all. Since they will inspect this mark in order to unravel its secrets, I quickly arch forward to curl up into a ball, hugging my legs to show my neck.

Without further ado, they begin the examination on the latter. When they touch my skin with their fingertips, a static electricity shock sounds. I can't see what's happening, but I feel that they've immediately withdrawn and are exchanging a look. They touch my skin again. Once more, I hear familiar buzzing sounds before they even touch me. I frown as an unpleasant shiver slides down my spine when my silver locks are lifted. These noises persist and occur with every move they make on the back of my neck.

"We experience static electricity shocks no matter where we touch him," Shizune notes aloud.

I hold my breath and a drop of sweat beads up on my forehead. What does that mean? Why would I suddenly produce current? I felt my skin less than ten minutes ago. Everything is normal.

"Indeed," confirms Lady Tsunade. "He produces electricity."

'W-What...?'

Mechanically, I approach a trembling hand to caress the back of my neck. I fear these so-called static electricity shocks that they experience… However, I feel absolutely nothing when I touch it; I don't hear any strange sounds either. "What are you taking about? I don't feel anything," I retort.

They touch the back of my neck while my hand is still there. Again, I hear shocks of static electricity, although they just brush against my skin.

"Like Naruto, you have a veil of static electricity," reiterates Lady Tsunade. "If you can't feel it, you're immune to it."

I'm speechless. Slowly, I withdraw my hand. I can only believe her. Why would she lie after all? And what does that even mean? Have I become a lightning entity too? Am I really transforming into a chakra devourer? I try to stay calm … in vain. Panic poisons me, poisons my empty lungs. I don't even blink my eyes anymore. Many cold sweats moisten my body…

"But it wasn't there when we first checked him," Shizune says.

"His depleted chakra reserves were fatal. Everything suggests that if he suffers from chakra exhaustion, he no longer produces electricity at all. Do you remember Naruto? His veil of static electricity lost intensity when he was admitted."

Without warning, someone caresses my back. I jump, letting out a muffled cry; at that, Naruto lets out a high-pitched hiss while baring his teeth. No need to look at him to know that he's holding back from pouncing and clawing. Tense like never before, I tolerate their hands roaming without the slightest shame over my arms, my lower back, my torso, my legs… I painfully hold back from trembling in response to the unpronounceable discomfort and unease. I don't like being touched like that, especially if I'm shirtless and vulnerable. I can only endure this, hold on until the end…

"I see. Only the back of your neck is affected by this phenomenon," Godaime says as she runs a hand through my oddly sensitive hair, forcing me to contain my voice determined to let out another shameful noise.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice her staring at my silver mane. She arches an eyebrow and inspects them carefully with touch… Their inhuman silky softness has unfortunately not gone unnoticed, and it won't be long before she asks me why. Since I never wrote these moments when Naruto … licks me, she will think it's abnormal. It will create unnecessary doubts about the macabre possibility that I become a chakra devourer…

"… I … it's normal…" I whisper shyly. She pierces me with her stern gaze. Reddened to the roots of my hair, I make myself very small and try to hide my face in my knees. "… it … it's… It's Naruto when he … he … grooms my hair," I stammer quietly, mortified.

A silence.

"Can I know why I'm only learning this now?" she replies coldly.

"...Is this … really necessary...?"

Another silence.

"Does a bit of drool really get you all flustered? With his mind broken and forced to believe he's a beast, this hardly surprises me. Stop being a kid and pull yourself together, Kakashi."

I want to disappear, now, right away.

"Who knew his saliva could do that too? As long as no one knows the secret ingredient, his shampoo would be sold out in a matter of seconds," Lady Tsunade laughs as I curl up further.

As if nothing had happened, they return their attention to the mark. She's now aware that I hide things and that I keep certain details secret… I console myself in vain that they didn't see me being licked like Sakura. I have Shikamaru and probably Sakura on my back. Having the Hokage herself on the hook for my lies… I'm in trouble, and that includes Naruto. I'm protecting us with my silence, and I sincerely fear that I will be questioned the hard way; my silence regarding a matter as serious and delicate as this is worse than insubordination. Perhaps I will be seen as a traitor despite my loyalty which has never wavered...? Maa, if I forget those moments of doubt when I was part of the ANBU, of course.

To add to my dismay, Naruto didn't appreciate her touching my hair at all. According to his disgusting little mouth noises, he's already preparing to drown me in saliva…

I wanna cry…

Suddenly, the back of my neck is besieged by an icy, biting cold. I immediately sit up straight, shrugging my shoulders as much as possible. Goosebumps creep up on me. This horrible feeling of an electric current that has travelled throughout my body is worse than hitting the elbow against the corner of a table. My breathing, like my heart, starts with a bang. I look back at Shizune and Lady Tsunade in panic. I try to understand what has just happened and clearly, my reaction surprises them.

"Calm down. We barely blew on it," Godaime explains.

"What… What...? What did you do?"

"I've just told you. We blew air on your mark."

I blink a few times as she grabs my arm and blows air out of it with her mouth. Expecting another painful and inexplicable current to wash over me, I tense up with apprehension… However, nothing happens.

"Like your static electricity veil," she mutters. "If I trust your reports, you reacted the same way as Naruto when you blew air on his skin. This area in your neck is vulnerable to wind."

I understand better why Naruto didn't like what I did at all. This made him very angry; he stabbed me with his piercing little eyes, which honestly terrified me. Is this really the sensation that the wind produces on him? I can't imagine the extent of such sensations in a storm.

These insignificant caresses of wind greatly destabilized me and paralyzed me for a breath. With the back of my mask paired with my ninja jacket, my neck is protected against potential breezes. Otherwise, I would have noticed it immediately when I stepped outside. I'm worried. Besides my Sharingan perpetually siphoning off my chakra reserves, I find myself with an Achilles heel now…

Meanwhile, Shizune is taking notes, and I notice that they're on edge. Looking at my student, I understand why. His face distorted and rotten with wrath is unrecognizable. A soft glow emerges from his eyes on the verge of shining. His clenched and twisted fingers can't stay still and all his hairs are ruffled. Strangely, I'm not at all worried or anxious despite his fury and his desire to kill. He only refrains from acting because I forced him to, that's understood.

"Your blood has been analyzed several times and the tests are negative. You're still human, Kakashi," Lady Tsunade tells me with certainty. "Obviously, your neck is an exception. It seems that this tiny part of you is that of a chakra devourer. To confirm this, there's something else to test. However…"

She glances at the unstable element next to me, which is about to explode in a rage never seen before. I can easily guess her nonverbal request.

"Naruto, calm down!" I order sharply, raising my voice. "They haven't finished. If it's too hard for you, you turn around and don't look!" He continues to growl and spread his murderous waves. "Naruto! You calm down or you'll languish in a corner of the room! Don't make me angry too!"

The feral boy hisses exaggeratedly, then sighs heavily. He growls before stuffing his hands in his pockets. He's glaring and his throat is vibrating, but I don't care. He no longer looks like he's about to kill at least…

"Can you mould your chakra?" the Hokage asks me.

"Not much." I put my hands together and close my eyes. As requested, I mould my measly chakra reserves. She wants me to make this mark glow blue like Naruto's. Stimulating my chakra is enough to do this. Logically, mine should react too. After a few moments, I feel a sharp pain in my neck that makes me flinch. I feel as if flames are licking the surface with their ember heat.

"Kakashi, are you okay?" Shizune worries.

"I … I am. My neck burns…"

So as not to exhaust my precious strength, I stop. This burning sensation subsides, then disappears completely. I understand that this mark is the reason why I feel pain. I'm still in pain if I mould my chakra…

Why does it make me suffer?

What does that mean?

Should I be worried?

"You felt pain at the same time it lit up blue," Lady Tsunade says. "Your pain threshold?"

"It's tolerable."

"Are you gonna pass out?"

I shake my head.

"I see. I assume the pain varies in intensity or diminishes over time. As long as you're still in pain, I can't rule out the possibility that he marked you to stop you from wasting his 'food'."

A shiver of dread slides down my spine. It's a possibility that I never thought of… All in all, I don't think that's the case. My Sharingan, even when at rest, consumes chakra constantly. My body instinctively stimulates chakra to give it the energy it requires. If it was the case regarding this mark, my neck would be in constant pain.

Shizune takes my hand to discreetly give me two thin, sparkling objects. These are metal bracelets. They're likely to awaken Naruto's traumas if he sees them, and I don't think he will like seeing them around my wrists. While keeping them out of his field of vision, I direct my gaze towards a still grumpy Naruto.

"Naruto, turn around!"

The blond lets out a grunt while wagging his tail.

"Come on! You turn and look at the wall! You're gonna do what I tell you, Naruto! I won't accept any negotiations or whims!"

The teenager loudly hisses and his tail hits the ground. The tiles break under the impact of his blow; cold sweat breaks out on my temple as I contemplate his tail like a deadly club, which returns to normal. This is a warning to the kunoichi. He knows they're about to do something to me that he won't like.

"Naruto!" I hiss, frowning.

Fortunately, he ends up complying. He turns around abruptly, crossing his arms. However, his invasive tail hugs my abdomen. He's so angry that he can't show gentleness; he crushes my stomach, and I suffocate a little…

At the same time, I notice that his fur, so soft and pleasant, isn't at all. Like his dirty hair, his hairs are oily, greasy and the ends are broken. Naruto hasn't groomed his hair since he got here. I assume he only does it in a place where he feels comfortable and safe. Furthermore, he hasn't washed since I'm hospitalized… That said, his body odour isn't unpleasant. He smells strong … but he smells strangely … good...? I mean … if I forget that he stinks of sweat and stews in his filth. Obviously, he completely fucked up my nose with his foul smell if I ended up finding it pleasant. I no longer feel like I have to tolerate it, believing it's somehow back to the way it was before.

I let out a sigh and slip the rings around my wrists. Shizune holds a third one, probably to test my neck when I work my chakra again. If what Lady Tsunade said is true, if this part of my body is truly that of a chakra devourer, this metal should burn my skin.

In order not to enrage Naruto further, I must maintain absolute composure.

I hold my breath as the cold metal hits the back of my neck. Mentally, I prepare myself for the possibility of being burned alive.

"Mould your chakra, Kakashi."

I take a deep breath to remain calm, to slow down my heartbeat which Naruto must sense with his tail, and set to work. I make this mark react, which lulls me with its suffering… Immediately, I withdraw from the metal in contact with my neck while clenching my teeth. This ring just burned me, as if it was white-hot; a sharp pain hits me raw, to believe the dermis is touched. Although my wrists are unharmed, I felt my precious strength being absorbed by these things.

I frown and stare at the rings. As for Naruto, he hesitates to do something.

"You've barely been in contact that your skin has been seriously burned," she notes, inspecting my neck and my wrists. "No wonder Naruto suffered significant burns."

"I wasn't only burned. These materials absorbed my chakra," I say, getting rid of these hateful bracelets. "This metal hurts him and prevents him from moulding and using his chakra. In contact with them, he's harmless. The more he struggles to get out, the more he loses his strength…"

"This explains why Naruto didn't have an ounce of chakra when he was admitted," she adds. "Your neck is indeed that of a chakra devourer, and you can also be neutralized by this metal if it's in contact with your skin, especially your neck."

"I'm afraid so…" I mutter.

If my wrists or neck were restrained with this metal, I could no longer use my chakra; I will be an ordinary man. The fact that I can be incapacitated so easily doesn't bode well at all… My neck gives me many weak points. This mark only brings me inconvenience. I need to find a way to either get rid of it or seal it. If I remember the way Naruto put it on me without giving me a choice, he will refuse to remove it if he can do it, that's understood.

Meanwhile, Lady Tsunade uses her medical ninjutsu to heal the wound in my neck… However, the pain doesn't subside as it should.

Silence is king, and this silence bodes ill.

"It's not good. Your neck is immune to medical ninjutsu," she says, clicking her tongue as my heart stops. "Your skin doesn't react like Naruto's… However, we can still administer treatment to your arms with medical ninjutsu. And from what I can see, you had treatment this morning."

"We could carefully cut his skin to determine the exact area that is affected," Shizune suggests.

"With this moron analyzing our every move, that won't be possible," she retorts, referring to Naruto. "He's gonna get in our way if we go too far." Godaime ceases her technique. "Someone will treat your burn with ointment and a bandage. There's nothing I can do to heal your wound, Kakashi."

I nod mechanically and clench my fists.

"We have one last thing to do before we leave you alone. If this part of you is no longer human, your blood must be taken from one of your veins there. I warn you. It won't be pleasant."

Shizune prepares a syringe, which gets on my nerves. I'm not afraid of needles, but I don't like its width and length, knowing that it's my neck that will be stabbed. I've heard that getting the neck stung is painful, and I can't imagine the back of it. Plus, if this part of me is like Naruto, I'm going to experience more pain than normal…

I extend a hand towards Naruto to ask for his. Subconsciously, I seek his comfort. He wastes no time offering it to me while my unburned skin is disinfected with alcohol. I arch forward to make their task easier. Unsurprisingly, the sapphire-eyed boy hisses loudly.

"Do not move, Kakashi," the Hokage orders me.

I hold my breath. I grimace and grind my teeth as the needle penetrates my flesh; at that, I squeeze Naruto's hand roughly. It's not as painful as the fangs that drill into my arms every day, but it hits me hard. I feel the needle with dismaying precision and without being able to explain it, I know the exact moment when it pierces my vein, in which she collects the hot liquid and thus stolen from my body. They quickly take what they need. I can breathe again once the syringe is away from me.

"We're done," she says. "I'll come back to see you with the results. We'll keep our fingers crossed that this mark doesn't spread and make you one of them. Anything related to this mark must absolutely remain a secret, Kakashi. At the slightest change, no matter how small, you will contact me immediately."

"You have nothing to worry about, Lord Hokage. I don't want this to become a reality at all, you know…"

"Indeed. We don't have the luxury of hosting a second one, and this will cause general panic. If it's possible that you can become one in turn, everyone will sink into terror. Especially the shinobi who are the most worried about this whole story."

I let go of my student's hand, who removes his tail from me. Anxiously and uselessly, I twirl my thumbs together. "I know what will happen to both of us if something like that happens," I whisper.

She easily understands what I mean. If I become a chakra devourer, a feral beast, inevitably and in the best of all possible worlds, I will end up in a double-locked cage, probably chained for who knows how long… Being treated like an animal that must be tamed doesn't delight me at all…

A silence settles in.

"You have about four hours before the full moon. I found someone to make sure the night goes off without a hitch."

"Understood…"

They leave my room in silence. I get dressed. It's only once I'm alone with Naruto that I suddenly release the pressure. I'm assailed by an emotional tumult that crushes my heart in a vile and cruel vice. These examinations and these revelations shocked me. It's such that I contemplate the void in front of me, dissociating myself from the world around me.

I stare at my hands that I hold out in front of me. I analyze my nails. My brain distorts what I see. For a few seconds, I hallucinate claws capable of destruction at the tips of my fingers. I can't imagine that it's possible, that it's happening… Is this really the case at least...? Are we going astray all over the place…? Are we worrying for nothing...?

… Is the worst yet to come...?

I place my trembling hands on my face. Before I can curl in on myself, my bed sags and arms wrap around me in a warm embrace. Naruto holds me carefully and securely, stroking my silver locks. I let myself be lulled by his caring hug, which soothes my devastating torments. My head is against his chest, and I can hear his heartbeat. Slowly, mine follows its pace. I close my eyes and hug him as his ebony tail reinforces this peaceful proximity by gently wrapping around us both.

My future is uncertain and shrouded in mystery. Although I'm completely terrified, Naruto protects me from my fears, preventing them from reaching me and dragging me into despair.

I can lie to myself as much as I want.

I need Naruto like he needs me.

My life and his are intertwined now.