Chapter 1 Part 3: Debrief
The sudden change of subject and direct question startled the group. "What?" exclaimed Cassian again. So, she did feel it. She had yet given no indication, so Azriel had been questioning his own feelings. Rhys, predictably, was unsurprised but had an expression of curiosity on his face. He had probably caught a scent of the bond as well. Azriel considered his next words carefully, running his index finger of his right hand along the edge of his plate as he faced Sidra, who was again sitting stiffly and staring at him with a challenge in her posture and expression.
"There are no rules. Females choose if they accept the bond. They also choose when and how they accept it." He cocked his head, gently encouraging her to ask more questions.
"So I could just walk away? Never see any of you again? Let the bond hang there between us and wither?" He felt as if she'd punched him in the stomach. He fought to hold his expression neutral.
"Yes." Azriel said simply, not daring to say anything else. Rhys came to his rescue.
"Since I have been High Lord, we have outlawed wing clipping. Females are encouraged to train, although it has been slower than we'd hoped to integrate them fully into training programs of the males." Sidra turned and looked at him intently, searching for any exaggeration or lie in his words. She held his gaze, not blinking after he stopped speaking, so he continued. "To take a mate is an intensely personal decision. For a time, I thought my mate would marry another male. I was willing to let her, because it was - at the time - what she wanted." Sidra's expression screwed up into incredulity at that. He responded to her unstated question before she could voice it, probably less politely. "Oh, I would not have been happy about it, and it was incredibly hard to accept. But forcing a mating bond is simply not something I'm willing to allow - for me or anyone in my court." He paused for a second until her expression changed to a bit less of a challenge. He continued. "After a bond is made, there are still no rules about how the mates manage their bond. My own parents were not suited to each other. Mother lived with us in Illyria, while my father remained here in the city. They visited each other only a few times a year, and seemed to be happy enough to not speak to each other for the long stretches in between. My father wasn't particularly interested in me until I had demonstrated my worth as a warrior." He said dryly.
There was silence for a moment. Azriel stole a look at Manon, who had a horrified expression on her face since the mention of mates. The longer Sidra considered Rhys's words, the wider her eyes got.
Sidra held Rhys's gaze for a few long moments. Few people did. In fact, outside of other High Lords, he'd only seen Devlin and Cassian challenge Rhys so often. She took a deep breath and turned back to Azriel. "So, what do you suggest?" A reasonable question, but loaded. He again considered his next words carefully.
"Petria will need a day or so to heal," he began slowly. "If you'd like, tomorrow I could show you the city. My home." He was acutely aware that she lived somewhere else. Somewhere that she, presumably, was happy enough to remain. If she were to ever accept Azriel as a mate, she would need to decide if she would leave her home, or live apart as Rhys's mother and father had done. The possibility tightened in his chest and made it difficult to breathe. How in the world had Rhys been strong enough to let Feyre plan to marry Tamlin?
"That seems reasonable," Sidra said in an even tone. Did he sense that she, too, was trying to steady her breathing?
"All right. Get some rest. Take your time tomorrow morning. The house will provide whatever you need. I will be ready tomorrow whenever you wish to leave. Just send for me and I'll come. We can discuss then what you would like to do first," Azriel said, exhaling with relief. He had been holding his breath.
"You're not staying here?" Sidra asked, not bothering to hide her surprise.
"No. I think it might make you feel…uncomfortable. I will stay with Rhys and Feyre. Cassian will stay here." Cassian grinned widely.
"I thought this was your home," she said accusingly to Rhys. He bristled. Azriel wondered how pissing people off could be genetic.
"I have more than one house," Rhys said simply in a cold tone that communicated he didn't feel obliged to elaborate.
Sidra shrugged and sighed. She picked the last bite off of her plate and surveyed the remaining food on the platters. She had eaten twice as much as everyone else, including Cassian who was always ravenous and Feyre who was nearly full term with child. Azriel suspected Sidra would eat the rest when they left. How long had it been since she last ate? Curious that Manon didn't eat much more than a typical hearty meal.
Azriel stood up, and turned to help Feyre out of her chair. Rhys cocked an eyebrow at him, but followed his lead and also stood up. Cassian, Sidra and Manon followed. Azriel inclined his head toward Sidra and said, "Get some sleep. Ask the house for anything you need. It has been lovely to meet you. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow," he said rather too formally. Cassian snickered and stared at the two of them as if watching the most entertaining theater production he'd ever attended.
Azriel and Cassian left the House of Wind and flew to the River House. Azriel needed the wind and moment alone to clear his head. Rhys held Feyre and winnowed them to the house, where they met Cassian and Azriel on the lawn when the two landed.
"I really hope you don't have a sister somewhere, Az. By the gods she's nearly as much of a pain in the ass as Feyre's sister," Rhys dryly. Feyre shot him a look but didn't say anything. "I'm going to bed," she said, and turned to walk into the house. She kissed Rhys, who took a moment to close his eyes and hold her lips on his. He broke the kiss and touched his forehead to hers gently as he took a deep breath. It was a rare display of affection between them. Azriel knew Rhys was as terrified as he'd ever been, and the evening's discussion had brought all the emotions of the past two years back to him. He was savoring the moment with her, taking in her scent and probably saying something intensely personal in her head. Cassian and Azriel waited silently. After a moment, she went inside and Rhys physically shook the emotion off. "I need a much stronger drink," he said. He, too, turned to saunter inside, sliding his hands into his pockets as he walked. Cassian and Azriel followed him to his study. Azriel picked up the decanter and poured three generous drinks. Rhys floated them to Cassian and himself, as Azriel picked up his own. He flopped on the couch, exhausted.
"I didn't learn anything," he said. "Maybe we need to use a female? Nesta, maybe?" Azriel said, referring back to his original reason for visiting the continent. Rhys took a long drink and held it in his mouth for a moment before he swallowed. He nodded in acknowledgement of Azriel's suggestion but not as an answer. He was thinking about something else entirely. He seemed to relish the temporary distraction.
"Tell me how you found her," said Rhys. It was the High Lord speaking to his Shadowsinger. Azriel knew what he was asking and explained the tug that led him in her direction. He recalled many details of the days leading up to today, but none seemed relevant to Sidra. Azriel hadn't actually seen Sidra until the same moment as Cassian and Rhys, so he had nothing else to add regarding Sidra herself. "And you didn't feel the bond before you landed on the continent?" he asked.
"No. Nothing," replied Azriel. Rhys took another large swallow and thought more carefully. Cassian spoke.
"That flight she made. I can guess pretty well by her description what the route was. She's right that it is mostly downhill, and in early spring the air currents would have helped to hold her aloft, but damn. That would be an extremely long flight for a child. We wouldn't ask that of our 11 year olds. Certainly we wouldn't expect a six year old to be able do it. And with all that extra weight? By the Mother. Incredible." He looked between Azriel and Rhys as he spoke. "I'd question if she was really six. Maybe she was a bit older and has forgotten? But I was two when I appeared in Windhaven, so we can confirm what year it was." Cassian shook his head in amazement. He rested his right elbow on the arm of the couch and leaned his head into his hand, rubbing his forehead. Again Azriel noted the similarity of the gesture to her. She had done the mirror opposite movement this evening with her elbow on the table. "I have no memory of that flight. I do remember that wolf pelt, though. I revered it as a gift from my mother. I slept with it until all the fur was worn off, and later as a soft hide. It was probably the one real possession I had when you met me," said Cassian.
"They often used to clip wings even younger in the high mountains. If she wasn't yet clipped, then she would have been less than twelve," Azriel noted.
Azriel continued after a moment, picturing the route in his mind. "It would still be an accomplishment for a twelve-year old female to make that flight with the wolf pup and the baby. But by her description, it doesn't track that she was even that old. By ten years old a female would have been expected to check the traps by herself, or possibly with another female child." Azriel drained his drink and swallowed slowly, still thinking. He continued, "I'm inclined to believe she's recalling correctly that she was six, or close to it." He paused again for a moment to recall some details from the evening. "I think she is much stronger than she is letting on." Rhys and Cassian looked at him, expecting him to elaborate.
"She ate twice as much as you, Cass, which is really impressive for anyone." Cassian smirked as Azriel continued lining out his observations. "I think she would have eaten more, but was being polite. It wasn't just that they had gone without food, however. Her friend didn't eat more than a typical female. And neither showed signs of dehydration or weakness due to lack of food." He cocked his head and looked off to the ceiling, thinking. "That energy burst from your siphon. It was a big burst. A burst that big would have drained it enough to dim the stone a bit, but it didn't. So the power appeared to have come entirely from her, but she did it casually. You wouldn't get such a burst from someone who was weak from hunger. I haven't seen many females use a siphon, but I'm surprised she wasn't panting, or show any sign of exertion. I think it was easy for her. As if she simply picked up a new knife and was testing its sharpness on a tomato." He paused to let his observations sink in. Cassian's eyebrows had merged with his hairline. Rhys was considering Azriel's thoughts carefully, with a hint of alarm in his eyes.
"I should have taken them to the Moonstone Palace." Rhys said. "I don't know why it didn't occur to me until just now. By the gods, I even took Feyre there first, and I knew at the time she was my mate." He shook his head. "How did that not even occur to me until just now?" He asked as if Azriel knew the answer.
"Maybe the relation to Cass? She feels familiar. Certainly more familiar to me than a typical stranger. But then I'm her mate, apparently, so I may not be the best judge." Azriel looked to Cassian for his thoughts.
Cassian searched inward for a few minutes. Eventually he shrugged. Entirely unhelpful.
"She does remind me of you," Rhys said to Cassian, who laughed.
"I noticed she has my natural talent for poking your buttons," Cassian said and let out a hearty laugh as Rhys rolled his eyes. Azriel couldn't help but laugh too.