Synopsis : Ever thought of making an occupation as dangerous as an Adventurer into a career? Bad idea, there's no dental and no life insurance… At least the work hours are flexible? Actually, just for that last bit, even the threat of incredibly painful death, seems like a fair counter-balance.

Beats death by overwork any day!

Serious Sypnosis : Arriving in Orario 2 years before the sujugation of Leviathan, can you turn the path of destiny from needing the Last Hero?

Crossposted from Akun.

Disclaimers : I own none of the copyrighted Materials, Dungeon Ni Deai wo Motomeru no wa Machigatteiru Darou Ka and associated coprighted materials belongs to Fujino Omori and oter licensee. Please support the original author and materials.

Prologue : Welcome to Orario

When you came to it was to an unfamiliar street, it was a paved path, but not with asphalt or concrete, but with cobbled stone and bricks, like those old touristy cities in Europe. You remember visiting one once, a long time ago, on a vacation. Everything was so expensive that your wallet cried tears of blood… Or that just might be you.

Then again, there is something more important to note rather than the quaint streets or the old-fashioned buildings, something that you had done your best to ignore ever since your brain actually caught up with itself. That is who, or more importantly, what, is walking on those roads.

Small-statured people that could be mistaken if not for the unmistaken maturity that could only be explained by age. Either that, or it was just the defeated and wary look some of them sported as they carry oversized bags that are just bulging with stuff. There were some of them that are actually just that young, characterized by the naive and optimistic way they carry themselves.

Needless to say, they were looked on with undisguised hate by those small-statured people that seemed to have lost all joy in life. Your fellow salaryman, in other words, you could feel a sense of kinship with them

Ethereal beauties with elongated ears with golden hair like spun gold or green like the deep forest. They carry themselves with a certain arrogance and surety of steps, as if it was a given that the road ahead would be open to them. Judging by the way other people kept a certain distance from them, creating some kind of bubble free of people, the long-eared people's views are certainly supported by fact.

Elves, those are elves, they even have the patented arrogance that only being hundreds of years old could give, the fact that most of them that you spotted carried bows or staves cemented the idea that they are elves. There's a minority that carried swords, though, but you chose to ignore them.

Lastly, beast-eared people. If you have a furry fetish… they wouldn't be satisfied, probably. Despite the extra appendages or two, tails and extra ears, how does that work exactly? Do they just have four ears now? They looked almost unmistakable from humans. Well, humans with cat ears and wolf ears, that is.

At that point, only one thing came to mind.

"Fuck, what about my stocks?" In my defense, I only invest in blue chip stocks, in a decade or two I could retire with millions in the banks… That is such a boring thing to think of when you just got isekai'd.

But 30 years old is definitely not the age to have your life uprooted! Is this because I just became a wizard!? Why couldn't I get displaced years ago!? Now, all I felt was just how much time I wasted in the office cubicles, time now wasted.

The second thing that ran through my head was…

"The truth is I could Return by Death… Nothing. Thank fucking god." Functional immortality aside, that skill might be broken, but Subaru's life is not something I want to live. Mortality now assured, I got nothing else.

"Well, fuck… Now what?" So there I was, wearing my office slacks, loafer, and suit combo. My only riches being the golden Rolex my boss forced on me because it was supposed to be good for the office's image, since I doubt wherever this is, they accept credit. Completing the image was the plastic bag with the box of birthday cake I was planning on eating later, and I was as lost as a ship in a storm.

Needless to say, you were not in the best state of mind. Pulling the earbuds hanging around your neck, and turned on your much beloved MP3 Player.

You hoped that by the time a few songs are finished you would be much calmer… Shit, there goes another thing to worry about, how are you going to charge your MP3 Player!?

Who thought that getting isekai'd was such a stressful occasion?

Fuck.

(Insert BGM. Anima by ReoNa.)

Wandering the city without a destination in mind, you simply choose to follow the crowd along to wherever it is they're going in a hurry. So much in a hurry in fact that trying to ask them for directions, you selected the most normal-looking human, simply got a gruff dismissal in return.

You did think of asking the vendors of the various stalls lining the road, but you doubt disturbing the business of someone trying their best to earn money would get anything good. Trying the less busy stalls, simply got you hollered by the people standing in line, forcing you to waste time to go into the queue yourself. Luckily, as you've selected the more unpopular stall, it didn't take long to get in front of the line.

Unluckily, even when you finally reached the front of the line, all you got was a quick dismissal when the vendor realized that you were not about to spend any money.

So, here you are, just following the crowd, hoping that they're heading somewhere.

Well, you were right.

"How the fuck did I miss that!?" There, in front of you, was a huge tower that is built entirely of stone. You've seen many skyscrapers before, but all of them were edifices of steel and glass, not something straight out of a fantasy manga… Though you supposed that fits.

It was also by that time that you noticed that the people heading in the direction of the large tower were equipped with all sorts of weapons. Swords, axes, spears, bows, and you'd even spotted someone just wearing greaves while wearing nothing much else.

That person in particular was a brown-skinned girl that just screamed danger, both to your health and to your hips. Sex on legs is what you're implying.

You have no idea what that building is all about, but you doubt that it's a good idea to go there. With the tower stuck in the middle of a clearing that you doubt was an accident, with the closest buildings at least a good twenty-meter away, that tower must be holding something scary inside.

So, you decided to go to the normal-looking building that the armed people were going to, at least they were not the only sort of people going to that place. You also spotted many people carrying the oversized bags that you had spotted many of the stature-challenged people were carrying. So, there must be no fighting happening inside that building at least.

Entering the building, you took a deep breath of relief, it looked like a bank or something? The first floor of the building is taken mostly by many counters, one where there was a wall with a small slit with glass dividing the two sides, while some has no dividing walls at all. Just a wooden counter with people interacting with the heavily armed people you've seen.

Actually, looking at the many counters manned by people dressed in a proper looking vest and slacks combo, they even wear gloves for some reason, it seems to be some kind of exchange station? You see the armed people exchanging things inside small cloth sacks, and those who carried the oversized bags being escorted to a side room.

You remembered seeing something like this in a documentary about diamond exchanges once… Is there some kind of large mine under the tower? Seeing so many armed people, you hoped that it's not some kind of African blood diamond going on here.

You doubt your future prospects would be any good if that was the case, and seeing the rather medieval decor of the buildings you doubt that Human rights is something they care all that much about right now… Or is it racist to call it Human rights? What with all the fantasy races walking about.

Well, thoughts about Human progress aside, you spotted what must be the customer service area? Judging by all the beautiful women of various races manning the counters, you're probably right.

That and the fact that most interactions between them and the… You're just going to call them miners for now, especially if it's those small people, were rather heated, and you could hear some rude words thrown around.

Trying to eavesdrop on some of the conversations, you caught a rather disapproving look from the Customer Service ladies. You suppose they take privacy seriously here? Why would they talk right in the open if that was the case, though?

Though, you suppose that nobody likes an eavesdropper. So, you chose a line that seemed short enough, taking note not to line up on the counter with the lady that had given you the side eye, and what probably are half-elves?

You chose a counter that was manned by some kind of sheep beastman?

Well, sheep are mostly gentle creatures, so hopefully that would help you here… Is that a racist thought, though? Heh. It's not like there's any social media to cancel you here. Just in case, though, you endeavored to keep such thoughts under tight lock and key.

"Hello, how may I help you today?" The girl's voice was like a balm to your pretty much exhausted soul. Finally, some answers! Maybe…

Opening your mouth…

And to your horror, you found yourself tongue-tied, even when you wanted to speak, it was as if the words were stuck in your throat.

'What!? Why is this happening?'

It was only then, at that moment, that you realized that your heart was beating a mile a minute, the sound of it beating like a cacophony in your ears. Cold sweat was pouring out of you, your skin felt clammy, and your breathing started to go shallow, and panicked.

Looking at the girl with wide eyes, your body started trembling uncontrollably, you are in a panic attack, is what your mind is telling you. Calm down, it said, but sadly your body seemed to find listening to your brain quite difficult right now.

At last, unable to hold it in anymore, you opened your mouth… And vomited all over the counter, with some bits splashing all over the receptionist lady.

*Blargh!*

"What the hell!? Ew, it's all over me, why did you do that! Wait, huh?"

After vomiting last night's dinner all over the sheep girl, with chunks that looked like spaghetti for some reason even though you didn't eat any Italian food, you passed out.

The last thing you saw was the worried look on the sheep girl's face.

'Heh, what a way to start your journey, huh?'

You woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling, too cold and sterile to be a home, but too warm and personable to a hospital.

"It's an unfamiliar ceiling…" Heh, you always wanted to say that, it's fitting now that your life is over that you would be able to complete one of your dreams. Turning off the still blaring music player, you self-reflected on how you had arrived here.

Yes, despite the rather embarrassing way you had passed out, you still remember every bit that had led to this moment. Minus the time that you were passed out, of course. Here you are a 30-year-old wizard, or sage, depending on how you read the kanji, finally getting their Hogwarts letter.

You have no idea how it happened, but you have been transported to another world, basically starting over your life, losing everything that you have built up for the last three decades. No more of your family, lover, or friends… Well, you don't have that as well in the other world, but it's the principle of the thing!

The only thing you have left is the belongings you have with you. Your wallet, with money that is probably worthless now, with credit and debit cards that wouldn't work here, your watch that would probably fetch a pretty penny, being actual gold, your suit, and your cake… Your cake…

"Shit, that's right, my cake!" Pulling yourself up from the rather uncomfortable sofa that you were lying on, you took a look at where you are right now. It was a rather small room, undecorated as well, the only furniture inside are two sofas facing each other, one that you were just lying on, and a coffee table.

A coffee table with your birthday cake on it, unadorned since writing a congratulation to yourself just seems silly, and missing a rather large cut, a clean small plate with a spoon, fork, and knife beside it.

"What the hell, I was saving that for later… Fuck it, it might be literally a one of a kind item right now, but it's meant to be eaten." Grabbing a knife and taking a piece for yourself, one with a cherry on it, you savored the bite of sweetness and tartness of the cherry as it spread through your tongue with your first bite of the cake.

It was an expensive black forest cake, your favorite, wildly unhealthy for you, but fuck it, if you can't indulge yourself on your birthday, when can you?

At least, whoever it is that had the gall to take the large piece of the cake, hadn't also taken the literal cherry on top. Savoring the richness of the chocolate cake, you couldn't help but feel a bit sad at the thought that you couldn't enjoy the cake with the Chardonnay you had just decantered.

"Tch, what a waste…"

"What is?" Almost jumping out of your skin, thoughts about your wasted dollars fled your mind as the receptionist from before entered the room you're in.

'How did you miss someone opening a door in such a small room!? Oh, right, foodgasm.'

"Kehem, nothing, I was just talking to myself." Coughing to hide the awkwardness, you took another look at the sheep girl, now dressed in another dress entirely.

'Ah, that must've been my fault.'

"Well, that's the first time someone ever vomited and fainted while registering as an Adventurer. Hey, on the bright side, you've already made a name for yourself! Sure, it's not for anything good, but most Adventurers needed years to get their second name."

'Adventurers? Second Names? What the hell is she… Wait, is this another of those fantasy tropes!?' With that last bit of information given to you by the receptionist, a picture was formed in your mind.

The armed people loitering around were not miners, Well you suppose they are in a sense, they are Adventurers that fight against monsters! Then this place is supposed to be the exchange office?

Here you were not long ago having a panic attack over your future prospects, and here it is a job that doesn't need any qualifications, just given to you! It's going to be dangerous for sure, but it's also so exciting!

Adventures are a man's romance!

"Geh, no need to actually look happy about it, otherwise people would see you as a weirdo, Vomit Boy… Heh, even if I had to suffer a bit for it, I had to admit it is a pretty funny title."

'Vomit Boy!? Who are you, Jaune Arc? … Actually, it isn't that far off, huh?'

"Anyway, before you vomit all over yourself again and ruin the clothes that just had been cleaned thoroughly by magic at the low, low cost of a piece of cake, better finish your registration."

Hah! And so the identity of the cake thief is revealed! Some random Adventurer that is probably already long gone… Just your luck.

"Kehem, back to the real world, please? Jeez, are you some kind of hick or something, sure Magic is rare, and only mostly High-Class Adventurers have them, but it's not something that should make you start daydreaming or something. Here, you know how to read, don't you?"

Handing over a sheaf of paper and a pen, something rather anachronistic to the setting of this place you had in your head, you started scanning the paper.

And…

Gained Blessing

[The Blessings of Tongues.]

You understand all the language in the world, spoken or otherwise. Yes, that includes Koine, the faux-Greek of the Danmachi world, the language of the Gods, whatever that is. Probably something Chuuni.

And lastly, is the language of the Dungeon, though it's mostly just curse words flung towards the Gods and mortals alike.

You could read it without a problem… Huh? For an instant, the words on the paper were literal Greek to you, barely legible words with characters that don't share anything similar to any language you know, and you know quite a few.

And then, within one blink of the eyes and the next, the words turned out to be modern English… Maybe you're just still tired?

Which really shouldn't surprise you, actually? You've been communicating with English all this time, after all, so of course the written form would be in English as well. Which, taken in hindsight, doesn't really make any sense since you've been transported into another world… But well, there's no use looking at the gift horse in the mouth, it's not like you understand the inner workings of interdimensional travel anyway.

Perhaps English is actually the Lingua Franca of reality, it's not like there's anyone you could ask about this.

You have no idea how you could've coped if not only you were brought into strange lands, without your permission! But for the language to be something that you didn't understand as well.

"And? Can you read the form, if you can't, I would be obligated to help." Seeing the raised eyebrow and the pointed glance towards the still uneaten slice of cake, it would be pretty clear what the cost to such a 'free' favor would be.

"Sure, there's no problem." Smiling reassuringly to the receptionist, who looked disappointed to miss out on the cake, that you just now realized you have no idea the name of. You decided to ask her later after you finished the registration form over a slice of cake… It's the right thing to do, after all.

Taking another look over the registration form, you were surprised to find that, for an occupation like an Adventurer, something that doesn't really evoke the image of 'well put together', the registration form is really thorough.

'Full name', 'Age', huh, not asking for the date of birth? Suppose that's not that important… 'Race'!? Heh, you could just imagine the look of the HR lady on your company gaining conniptions on having this in a registration form. You're a 'Human' of course.

'Experience as an Adventurer'? Heh, none, unless the mandatory 'optional' company retreat counts as an Adventure with just how mismanaged it was, there really was a risk of death when your manager forgot to stock on the paraffin oil for the heater.

'Do you have any criminal history?', well seeing as I've just arrived in this world… Hours ago? Huh, how long have you been asleep for? Well, however long that is plus the dozens of minutes wandering around the city lost, it would be a pretty impressive record if you've managed to commit a crime in such a short amount of time.

"And done…"

"Huh, that was fast?" Well, there are a lot of fields that you have left blank. You, for instance, have no idea what to write for 'the place you're born' seeing as AnyTown, USA would probably just get a confused look at best, or suspicions at worst.

Worse, were the fields like 'Previous Occupation' and 'Skills useful for Adventuring', you doubt that this magical medieval period had anything like a Salaryman, or maybe they did? You didn't think that the medieval period of your own time had receptionists? And you doubt that a skill like 'how to export word documents into PDF' would count as an Adventuring skill.

Which is a shame since that was what you were doing for the majority of your adult life.

Seeing the troubled look on the receptionist's face, as she looked in between the document and your face, you think that you've tripped on some kind of security feature or something.

Have you been found out as an otherworlder already!? In all the fiction you've read, that usually only leads to great trouble. Even if you're technically registering as an Adventurer, you really didn't want to be adventurous that way!

~Is he lying about his age? Why would… The only reason is if he's lying about his race?~

Race! Shit, did they call Humans, Hume, or other equally silly words here!?

"Um… a…" Robert Red, that's your name, right.

"Mr. Robert, there's no need to lie about your age, you know?" Your age!? What? Out of all the things you've written, that was what she was taking umbrage with? You had to admit that you flinched a bit when you were called with your given name.

Images of your past being bullied, called Robbie Rotten from that ridiculous children TV show, something that was encouraged by your parents when they forced you to sing that infernal song in the school talent show.

You don't even look in any way similar to that man!? Except for the black hair, everything about you is different.

You were more of a Sportacus fan anyway, that is why your name is never shortened even by your friends, the name Robbie something that could trigger PTSD-like symptoms from you. Bad enough with a name like Robert Red, getting bullied was almost par for the course.

"Uh, what do you mean lying about my age? I'm indeed thirty years old." Anyway, your dark history aside, you were pretty confused by the questioning. You did garner some compliments from time to time that you looked young for your age, but you've mostly just taken it as people being polite.

Looking at your reflection from one of the glass cabinets placed along the walls…

Yeah, you looked the same as you did this morning, a fact you've confirmed as you passed many glass windows in your search for answers in the city.

~He doesn't look like he's lying… Maybe he has some elf blood? He is wearing some expensive -looking clothes, after all~

You're pretty sure that you don't, but…! Well, without knowing how you've slipped into another world, you're not going to discount anything, but if the only thing you got from having a literal magical bloodline is being propositioned by MILFs…!?

You're pretty fine about it, actually, too bad that they take 'yes shota, no touch!' Way too seriously, or you wouldn't still be a virgin, right now!

One man can dream after all…

~Mr. Robert, are you okay? Great, I've lost him.~

"Hmm!? Ah, sorry I got lost in thought for a second there, did you ask something?"

"Kehem, as I was saying, everything seems to be in order, but I see that you didn't write your Familia name? Without it, I couldn't really add you to the roster of Adventurers or allow you to travel into the Dungeon."

Ah right, that one particular box you've left empty, you're not really sure what to put there. You first thought that it was just a misspelled 'famiglia' as in the Italian word for family… But they're not asking for your family name, right?

Is it something like a mafia family? You're not really sure what being an Adventurer and being part of organized crimes have to do with each other, so you just chose the safe option.

"I'm still looking? I just thought about getting my papers in order in advance, you know?"

"Well forethought is a rare ability for an Adventurer, so I'm sure you'll find a Familia soon, just come back and finish your registration after you've found one okay?"

Nodding, you were starting to sweat nervously about your future prospect. How are you supposed to be joining a Familia!? And how would you even find one!?

"Actually…" Opening her mouth for a moment and hesitating, the receptionist…

"This is supposed to be a violation of the Guild laws, what with the Guild having to be a neutral party between all the Familia, so keep it a secret okay?"

~Besides, with the Hera and Zeus Familia around, what's a little bit of help for the newbies? I don't get Norman's anal retentiveness about this matter.~

Hesitatingly, she started speaking, sharing news that was just terrific for you, even as you ignore that rather crass language the young lady just spoke with. You don't need any reminders of your advanced age.

"You see being a fresh greenhorn like you with no experience to your name, no Familia would want to accept you, so perish any hope of joining any of even the newly established Familia like the Loki, or Freya Familia, They would only accept the most talented of Adventurers, or the ones that doesn't get scooped up by the top Two."

Giving you information that you have no idea what to do with, the receptionist then went on a tangent about how all Familia kept jockeying for the next big name, without putting in the effort of actually helping the Adventurers. These are all must be pertinent information, coming straight from a reliable source, it's like getting investment advice from some banker or investment expert… At least this time it seems legit and not just some stupid advice to put all your life savings into a shitcoin that would 'go to the moon'.

Too bad for the receptionist as she regale you with the stupid things Adventurers and Familia get to, even something about a war? You were still stuck on the first thing she mentioned.

'Gods! There are literal gods here!?' Of course, there's a possibility that it was just a name, having nothing to do with actual Divinities, but again, in another world, you wouldn't put anything down as impossible.

"...So in conclusion, the only Familia that would accept a newbie like you is either an equally new Familia, or just the weirdos, any Familia that is even halfway established would just use you up as a Supporter. And unless you want to carry luggage all your life and never becoming anything, your options for Familia are very limited."

And then, with a bang, she planted some sheaves of paper down on the table, and you could see some… Actually, what the hell is written there? Chicken scratch?

"Um? I like your art project very much?" Seeing the sheep woman go red as she puffed her cheeks was quite funny.

"Hmmph! And here I am risking my job helping you. What art project it's KO-I-NE, did you forget how to read or anything like that!?" Picking up your own written form, she lifted it up and put it side by side with what must have been her work sheets.

"See! Yours is not much better, you know?" Looking at your unconvinced face, the receptionist turned both the papers around, before she focused on her own work, mumbling some of the words written on it to herself. Could she not even read her own handiwork!?

"Kehem, I see that I still need some work with writing, but it's perfectly legible!" Embarrassed, she quickly placed your own work, face down, as she just began reading what she wanted to show off to you.

"You see! There are only two Goddesses that would admit someone that looks as pitiable as you! The Goddess of Youth, Dia, who specializes in educating and training new Adventurers from outside of Orario so that they can show off their abilities and be adopted by the Familias in the city." Speaking loudly to cover up her own embarrassment, even throwing in some shade your way, you decided to just go along with it.

And then, seeing the expectant look on her face, you decided to just speak up.

"Oh? And why can't I join in with her Familia?" It was kinda obvious really what she was implying, naming the Goddess first. She was not available… Actually, with all this excitement you never got the name of the receptionist, and she was not wearing a nifty lanyard that was the greatest excuse for ogling female employees' assets.

"Well, it's simple young greenhorn! The Goddess Dia is a travelling familia, she doesn't actually recruit from inside Orario itself!" Clapping like a seal at an information that sounded impressive at least, the receptionist basked in the glory of the canned praise.

"That's why, the only option for you left, is the Goddess Astraea, the goddess of Justice, Innocence, Purity, and Precision!"

Pointing at the piece of paper whose contents you couldn't read, you focused instead on the emblem of the Familia that you were supposed to be joining.

A scale with stylized wings? Also, you were feeling a bit called out with that Divine portfolio, although why did Accuracy get lumped in there? Is it because she was a sheep Demi-human that she had a disposition for the pure?

Feh, not likely, her body alone definitely doesn't scream purity.

"She's definitely the perfect Goddess for you! With just how pathetic you were acting back in the lobby, she would definitely feel pity and accept you on the spot!" After pretty much insulting you enough to create a long-life grudge if you were a dwarf, the sheep-girl laughed loudly as she looked at you expectantly, as if you were supposed to praise her for the insult.

Unable to hold yourself back anymore, you stood up and gave the sheep receptionist a noogie, definitely not acting your age here… In apology, you decided to split your cake with her, and you finally got her name after all that.

Lina Cruz. Of course, it would be someone with the name of the Slayer that would be the hellion in your life.

Departing the guild building, aptly named the Pantheon now that you know that Gods are around, one cake lighter, you started to follow the map that Lina had given you leading towards your, hopefully, new Goddess' demesne.

An Inn in one of the many Districts of Orario.

Thankfully, you didn't have to pit your navigation skills with Lina's lacking artistic ability, as the map came with the Adventurer package, listing out the address of most of the buildings in Orario.

Placing your earphone back to your ear, you decided to enjoy the walk as the sun slowly reached its zenith, you adjusted your favorite hat so that it would block off most of the light.

~I've never felt like…~

(Insert BGM. When The Moon's Reaches Out Stars. Persona 3 OST)

Truly, the Engrish speaks to your soul!