It was a lovely day as usual in the land of Dream Land. A land of peace and prosperity, where even the most cold hearted of villains have good in them. In this country of greeny goodness laid a small sphere like alien creature with floating hands dressed in an arabic looking cloak. This sphere waved at the camera and began to speak.
"Why hello there viewers, my name is Magolor, a humble shopkeeper, theme park creator and pilot, and I've been chosen to host this brand new, multiversal season of Total Drama! We'll have 18 contestants from different forms of media travel through the multiverse in my very own Lor Starcutter!"
We then cut to Magolor's ship, the Lor Starcutter. It is a high-tech, blue-white colored ship with a bunch of wings that look like paddles.
"And just so you know, this season, unlike ones in the past, will make sure that none of the contestants would get seriously harmed during the challenges, and if they do, we'll treat their injuries with great care!"
We cut back to the field Magolor was in earlier. "And now, it's high time to introduce our cast! This first one comes directly from Dreamland, and is thus the only one to not arrive via portal! He's a brave and mysterious star warrior, and also a dear friend of mine, give it up for Meta Knight!"
In that moment, the creature known as Meta Knight flew into view. He was a small, marshmellow like creature, wearing a metal mask that obscured his entire body besides his bright yellow eyes. He had a sphere shaped body, with stubby limbs and some wings. Despite his appearance, he looked quite serious.
"It's my pleasure to be on your show, Magolor." Meta Knight says. "And if you, of all people, was chosen to host, then I'll have no doubt on the fairness on this competition."
"Thank you Meta Knight. Now, how would you feel about your fellow competitors being from alternate realities?"
"I don't mind it, in fact, I'm quite flattered, as this would mean testing my strength against opponents I've never had the opportunity to face before."
"That's good to know. Oh, and will it sit right with you if you waited by my side for the rest of the competitors?"
"With pleasure." Meta Knight replied as he flew over to Magolor's back.
"And that was our first introduction!" Magolor began. "From here on out, our cast members are going to be stranger and stranger!"
A purple portal started to open up next to our host, and a blue haired young man entered from it. He looked more than ready to compete on the show.
"And this fine young man is Prohyas Warrior, or Prohyas as most people call him. He's an adventurer at heart, always looking for a brand new journey!"
"Yeah man, took those words right outta my mouth!" He said. "This whole thing's gonna be awesome, I just know it!"
"Love that enthusiasm Prohyas, now go stand with Meta Knight over there."
"Sure thing host guy!"
Prohyas went over to Meta Knight and striked a little conversation with him. "You a fan of adventuring?" Prohyas asked.
"So long as it involves a quality duel, I suppose I do."
"Great."
Next portal was formed, and from it arrived the weirdest character so far. It was a big, purple lollipop with stickman-like limbs, and it was looking quite sassy.
"Hey there Lollipop! Aren't you excited to be on this show?" Magolor asked.
Lollipop groaned. "Wow, it sure does seem like you dreamlanders have rather poor fashion sense I'd say."
Neither Magolor nor Meta Knight were very pleased to hear that, and yet, she continued.
"Seriously, why are you wearing that dumb robe? We're not in some kind of desert here! And some people might even mistake you for a terrorist, though that's not universal."
"M-Ms. Lollipop, it's not nice to say things like that!" Magolor complained.
And Prohyas agreed. "Yeah, don't judge people on the way they dress! Judge them by the face!"
"Not to mention the little puffball over there trying so hard to look threatening, yet your body just won't allow it, how tragic!"
"You seem like the snotty kind of girl, which is rather unfortunate." Meta Knight remarks.
"Whatever, I'll go to the back, not like I've got anything better to do."
Lollipop walked over to the usual spot, getting some glares from the others along the way.
The next portal had an echidna come into the fray, but he was no ordinary echidna. He was anthropomorphic first off, he had red fur and some plain white gloves, which had spikes attached to them, giving him a rather intimidating presence, one similar to Meta Knight.
He had begun to introduce myself. "My name is Knuckles, Knuckles The Echidna. I am a proud warrior of the Echidna Tribe, the last one in fact, as the rest were wiped out long ago. I trust that my competitors shall provide me a great challenge."
"Sorry to hear that about your kind Knuckles, hopefully you'll enjoy competing here, get your mind off stuff like that as well." Magolor said.
"That I've moved on from already, but I appreciate the sentiment Magolor, I'll stand with the others."
As Knuckles went over to the contestants side, Meta Knight spoke to him. "You seem like a proud warrior Knuckles, I've got a feeling any potential battle between us would be legendary!"
Knuckles raised his fists. "Right on the money."
Prohyas also decided to join in. "Yeah man, can I join in?"
"Sure." Knuckles said.
"Might wanna give up on those spikes dear, it makes you look ridiculous!" Lollipop told Knuckles, who replied by putting his spikes right next to her face. "Ridiculously strong, that is!"
Next contestant actually flew out of the portal, like a superhero. She was a young girl no older than 6, with blonde hair in pigtails and big blue eyes. Her outfit consisted of a small blue dress and black mary jane shoes along with socks.
And most of all, she was really adorable.
"Hiiii guyssss!" She said with a big smile on her face. "I'm Bubbles, me and my sisters are known as The Powerpuff Girls, and together, we're the protectors of Townsville!"
Magolor went to Bubbles to pat her on the head. "G-Good girl, Bubbles, you're a good girl, and a hero as well. Hope you'll enjoy your time here!"
"Thanks mister host!" Bubbles cheerfully said as she flew over to the other 4 contestants.
"Hi everyone, I hope we can get along with each other!"
"That'd be no issue, young one." Knuckles said to her.
"Yeah! Besides the lollipop girl maybe." Prohyas added. "But who knows, maybe she's got a soft spot for kids?"
Lollipop looked offended. "H-How dare you?! Me, soft? Pffft! Outrageous! Though I can admit little Bubbles is cute, I'll give you that much."
Bubbles chuckled a bit. "See? No one doesn't think that I'm not cute!"
The person to come out of the portal next was a cartoon astronaut. His body was shaped like a bean, he had no mouth and floating hands, and was wearing a white suit (or was it his body?) and a white captain's cap.
"This right here is Captain." Magolor explained. "He owns a lobby of the game Among Us, leading all the people there, though his leadership skills are...questionable."
Captain was a bit offended by that last remark. "Questionable?" He let out a chuckle. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Dumber than all the times my fellow crewmates mutinied by voting me off for no reason!"
"Hard to judge it without context, sir." Lollipop said.
"Whatever! I'm Captain, I came here because my best friend and my girlfriend, who is completely coincidentally my best friend's sister, are both currently competing in low brow trash reality shows, making me pretty lonely. So of course, I joined a different low brow reality show!"
Captain went over to his soon to be "crew". "Aren't you guys a little ticked that the host looks like a member of that ISIS Quaida terrorist group?"
No one responded to that, until Prohyas's stupid mouth decided to move. "Woah man, have a look at his face before you judge him! You can't see it through his robes, so stop assuming stuff!"
"It's really mean to accuse someone of being a terrorist sir!" Bubbles said.
"I have no idea what this is about, but since Bubbles is speaking I'm assuming she came to my defense so, thanks Bubbles!"
From the next portal was another anthropromorphic animal, this time a crab. He's a red crab who wears a blue shirt and blue pants. He also had a really funny looking walk.
As usual, Magolor was the first to greet him. "Hello there Mr. Krabs! Mind introducing yourself to everyone else?"
Mr. Krabs wasted no time doing so, "Hello there people with less money than me! I am Eugene H. Krabs, but most just call me Mr. Krabs! Me restaurant, the Krusty Krab, is the biggest sensation in me town Bikini Bottom! Like most things in life, I came in this here show for one thing: money! My most precious possession! Except for me daughter of course!"
"An entrepreneur, interesting." Lollipop wondered. "I've got a friend who's got a successful stakes restaurant chain, and he's certainly less greedy than you."
"And what exactly is wrong with that, lolly lass?" Mr. Krabs asked.
"Don't call me that!" Lollipop said with a scowl.
"I for one am wondering what his food tastes like!" Prohyas admitted whilst rubbing his belly. "Man, speaking of that, I'm kinda hungry. Mago man, got anything to eat?"
"That'll have to wait until we're done with our introductions, but don't worry, as Dreamland's got quite the cuisine!"
Prohyas pumped up his fist in the air.
"It's a good thing to know our host is making sure to treat us well." Knuckles noted.
Next came in what looked to be a young girl happily running around. She had blond hair and black eyes. She wore a small blue dress with some frog accessories on it, long white socks with black shoes, and finally, had a long brown hat that looked fairly normal, except that it had eyes, for some reason.
"This is Suwako Moriya, through she may seem as just a small child, she is actually a goddess of the mountains, one whose faith from humanity is the one thing keeping her alive. She's also got a cute hat!"
"Thanks for that Mr. host." Suwako said, her deep voice not at all matching her image. "Y'all can worship me, since, y'know, I can't live if you don't."
"I don't know about that." Captain said. "If I put a picture with you up on my bed, the FBI might come after me. They've already done so cause my girlfriend sounds like she's 12 according to them!"
"That'd be so hilarious!" Suwako claimed while smiling. "Now excuse me, I'm gonna go take a goddess approved nap!"
She then went over to the other 7 people there and began sleeping on the grass.
"Lazy lass." Mr. Krabs remarked bitterly at the goddess while she couldn't hear him. "This is why my employees don't get any breaks ever!"
Knuckles was a bit surprised to hear that. "Your world has an...interesting culture, to say the least."
"Nah, that's a custom in every modernized culture Knuckles, even in your universe!" Mr. Krabs then laughed that off.
Next contestant decided to hype his own entrance before he even stepped foot into the camera. "Behold, for our next challenger is the coolest, most sexiest man to ever grace anything ever! For he has set his sights on his millionth reality show fanfiction! It's none other than the Merc With The Mouth: DEADPOOL!"
The man known as Deadpool then did a backflip as he exited the portal. He was a man covered from head to toe in clothing. His attire was black and red, with his pupils in particular being white. He also carried around a katana on his back.
"Sup', it's ya boy, Deadpool, here to beat all you f***ing losers and get some b****es along the way!"
"Deadpool, you seem quite confident already. Try to limit it a bit, wouldn't you?" Magolor told him.
"I agree with the strange alien host." Lollipop added. "He's already annoying me, well, more than usual."
Deadpool decided to take out his sword to scare Lollipop. "Yeah, well at least I'm super well known and popular! 90% of the readership doesn't know jack**** about you honey!"
"So what? And what exactly are you even talking about?" She responded, not caring about the weapon that was so close to her face.
Bubbles tried to defuse the situation. "HEY! Stop that mister! Please drop the weapon before anyone gets hurt!"
"And what about you lil Bubbles? Your first show's last episodes were divisive at best. Your reboot was forgettable at best and child pornography at worst. Then, your live action version was so bad they canned it despite having filmed a pilot!"
"I've got no idea what any of this means." Bubbles remarked, confused.
"Yeah, you shouldn't be. Now allow me to make the merge for the 6th time!" Deadpool smugly said as he headed towards the cast, most trying to avoid being next to him.
The next portal opened, and out of it came one suspicious individual. He was a tall, red, skinny, anthropomorfic cat, and he came out with a wide and creepy grin on his face.
"Man, this guy's givin' me the creeps." Prohyas mouths off. "N-Not that there's anything wrong with that sir!"
The cat looked aside, looking a little bored.
"So Katz, got anything to say about yourself to your competitors?" Magolor asked. "Or anything really."
"Oh, not that much really." He replied in a smooth british voice. "I'm just observing my fellow contestants, since it is a competition after all, that is a viable strategy."
Magolor himself looked a little creeped out. "O-Okay, you can go."
Katz went next to Bubbles, who kept shaking. "Cat got your tongue?" He asked her. He got no response, so he talked to the sleeping Suwako instead. "And why is another little girl allowed on this show? Do they not know of labor laws"
Suwako actually woke up to angrily correct him. "Hey! I'm not a child you mere mortal! I-I'm a goddess! Someone to worship, not to demean!"
"That assumes I worship anything." Katz remarked. "Ok, maybe the macabre, but that's about it."
Out next came a much less sinister looking contestant compared to the last one. She arrived in a carriage driven by a gingerbread man, and out of it came, fittingly, a gingerbread princess. There was a lot of pink or red on her: red eyes, pink dress, pink bows, red gem in her scepter etc. She cheerfully went to the host to greet him.
"Hey there mister host!" She began. "My name is Princess Cookie, heir to the throne of the Hollyberry Kingdom! I came here for one thing and one thing only: FUN! Life at the palace is so boring, so, when I heard of this little show of yours, I couldn't wait to come here! Ooh, I'm just wondering what kind of adventures we'll have together!"
"It's great that you're excited princess." Magolor noted. "Just make sure to not get voted off early if you want to have fun."
"Thanks mister host! Hey Guys!" She greeted her fellow competitors. "Y'all ready for some fun?"
"I'm already having fun everyday kid, cause I'm awesome and all that." Deadpool said. "You probably won't though, since you're a Princess Peach knockoff and that b**** needed amnesia to be an interesting character in one fanfic."
"W-Watch your mouth sir! How dare you insult royalty like that!"
"Whatever you say monarchist hoe."
"Everyone p-please stop fighting!" Magolor yelled out. "I-It's not a good idea."
Lollipop decided to use this opportunity to snark a bit. "I mean, we're on a show called Total Drama, what else would you expect?"
"Sunshine and rainbows?" Bubbles innocently answered.
"Money?" Mr. Krabs asked less innocently.
"A bunch of old people tickling us to death?" Prohyas asked, which got him funny looks from everyone. "What?"
"The more I learn about human culture, the more my brain melts." Knuckles remarked.
After that was the first contestant one would consider "normal". She was a very small, very cute young girl with bright blonde hair and a cheery expression, not unlike Bubbles. She wore a pink dress and was dancing pirouetting like a ballerina, catching everyone's attention.
Magolor however, was able to keep his mind focused on what was most important to do right now, which was introductions. "Everyone, this is Darla Dimple, famous child actress known for her sweet and kind persona. Got anything to say Darla?"
"Why yes! Thank you sir for this amazing introduction! A-And I just wanna hug you, and care for you and-"
"Sorry Darla, I-I'm flattered, but I'm trying to be professional here! Now please go in with the others miss!"
Darla made the puppy dog eyes expression before Magolor quietly, and awkwardly, pushed her around to the others.
"Miss Darla, has anyone mentioned how adorable you are?!" Bubbles asked in excitement.
"I sure am! A perfect little angel!"
"Yeah I can agree with that!" Princess Cookie admitted. "I'm already quite adorable myself, and you're like a mini-me! It's so sweet!"
"But not as sweet as me!" Darla noted to her.
"What?" Princess Cookie asked, confused.
"Lovely lass I must say! Not as much as me daughter though!" Mr. Krabs said, which got Darla's eye to twitch for a split second.
After her came a more...creepy individual. He was a young Japanese man with unnaturally pale skin and pale hair. He wore a dark green jacket covering his otherwise plain white shirt. He didn't look all that pleased to be here.
"This is Nagito Komeada. A student at Hope's Peak Academy, where the people there are given talents of sort to give them greater purpose. His is the ultimate lucky student, a talent that, contrary to the rest, is picked up by winning a little lottery. Nagito, are you feeling alright? You seem a bit tense." Magolor noted.
"I-I do feel alright, relatively of course, as someone worthless like me will never be able to truly achieve true happiness." He said, getting some people a bit confused at what seemed to be some self loathing from him. "But that doesn't matter, as I'm not here to win, but to serve as a stepping stone for my teammates hope!"
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Captain asked, probably not paying attention to what he was saying.
"Well since we pretty much have a confirmed first boot now, I'd say it's a good thing this douche hates himself." Deadpool arrogantly admitted. "And why do I feel like I've seen this man before? Probably cuz I appear in lots of fanfictions."
"It's great someone here understands my intentions, hopefully my own team will do so as well." Nagito remarked. "But right now, I can only participate in this horrific "game" and see what happens."
He then walked over to Katz and Suwako, making the former say "Interesting." briefly.
Next contestant already came in looking for a fight. She came out of her portal and then immediately attacked Captain, trying to hit him with her axe.
"Woah, stop it little girl! You don't have proof I'm an impostor!" Captain begged.
"Little girl?! I am not a little girl! I am Barbara, proud barbarian and former princess of the forest!" The woman now known as Barbara yelled out. "Fight me you coward!"
Barbara herself could've easily been mistaken for a little girl. She was very short, had long, curly red hair, and some gear reminiscent of the vikings.
"Another little girl? Man, the author here must've seriously ran out of good picks!" Deadpool complained.
"Once again, I'm NOT a little girl! Do you wanna fight too?!"
"Eh, why not? Lemme take out my badass katana and-"
"Everyone please stop it with the violence!" Magolor yelled out. "I was specifically hired to make this show safer, so no fighting outside the challenges!"
Both Deadpool and Barbara begrudgingly followed what he said and took their weapons onto their backs.
"Not fair." Barbara muttered.
"You shouldn't try to start a fight without knowing the level of your opponent." Meta Knight told her as she walked to him. "It's basic logic."
"Couldn't have said it better myself, Meta Knight." Knuckles added.
The 4th to last portal opened, but strangely, no one came out of it.
"Our next contestant is-um, where is she?" Magolor asked, now realizing the contestant didn't arrive on cue for the first time.
"L-Leave me be!" A feminine voice came out of the portal. "I-I don't need t-to go t-to another u-universe, my life is already hell here!"
We then hear sounds of shoving, and the player jumps out the portal, clearly without consent.
This player was a teenage girl wearing a black school uniform, one befitting of medieval times. She had messy, bright purple hair, and she had trouble standing up. "W-Where d-did they sent me? W-Was it t-the a-afterlife?!"
She then stood up, and stared in complete terror at the cast. All any one of them did was Magolor calmly saying "Hello!", which didn't help at all.
"Mon-m-mo-MONSTERS! MONSTERS EVERYWHERE! W-WHATDIDIDOTODESERVETHISTORMENTAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She then passed out on the ground cold.
Suwako chuckled a little. "Hah! This is so fu-" But then Lollipop slapped here across the face. "Hey?! What was that for? You can't hit a goddess like that?!"
"Oh really, I didn't know, I thought I was simply punishing a certain someone for being so insensitive." Lollipop bluntly admitted.
"Ok?" Magolor said, confused. "This is Bernadetta Von Varley, heir to her family's noble house in the Adrestian Empire. She is currently studying in Garreg Mach Monastery's Officers Academy, mainly sorcery. I do want to warn everyone that she is a very timid and scared lady, so I suggest not trying to provoke her, as she is known to have certain meltdowns when pushed too far, sometimes for what seems to ultimately harmless."
"You heard him everyone, treat the girl with some tact now, will you?" Lollipop asked them in a condescending tone.
"That girl is filled with so much despair, it might be too late for her." Nagito says. "But it's best we wait and see."
"Ok. Now we've only got our final 3 players left to introduce." Magolor remarked. "And the first of these 3 is a girl with rather...strange hair, to say the least, everyone give it up for Millia Rage!"
Out the next portal was a young woman. She wore a fairly conservative outfit and had some ridiculously long blonde hair. She walked rather calmly towards the rest of the cast, not letting out a single word.
"Uh, Millia, you do realize you're supposed to introduce yourself, right?" Magolor asked.
"No need for that." She responded quietly.
"Not much of a talker, I see?" Katz remarked. "That's interesting, and potentially handy as well."
And finally, Millia looked over at Darla. "Hello there little one, I see you're one happy child."
Darla replied with a simple "Thank you!".
The penultimate portal began to open and out of it came the most normal character so far. She was a young girl with long, wavy brown hair and had a serious, piercing stare on her face.
Magolor did the usual and began to introduce her. "This is Nelly Raimon, the team manager of Raimon Junior High, which is considered the best football team in all of Japan, with most of their members representing them in last year's world cup, which they also won, by the way."
"I would say that introduction was...adequate enough." Nelly said. "I'm usually sitting in the side lines, so I'll be interesting competing here, and I hope my team won't underestimate me because of my age, or worse, my gender."
"Pfffft, yeah!" Deadpool mockingly said. "Have at it Miss "Oh I'm so much of an authority figure I can make you piss your pants"!"
Nelly decided to express her feelings in the best way she could by quietly glaring at him. "You were saying sir?"
Deadpool was actually a little scared about that, but tried to keep his cool. "N-Nothing! Nothing at all!"
"Took long enough for someone with pizzazz." Katz said to himself.
Nelly noticed what he said and responded. "Oh, did I happen to impress you? That already makes you smarter than most of these people."
"It seems we're both good observers then."
"Ok, time for our last player." Magolor said. "Get ready everyone, for he is quite the personality!"
Last portal had an even more normal person than even Nelly exit it. He was a brown haired white guy.
"Hey all, Scott here!" He cheerfully said. "I've tons of hobbies such as: buying Stupid Nintendo Games, playing Stupid Nintendo Games, doing taxes and B*tching about Stupid Nintendo Games! And I've decided to add "being on the world's sexless reality TV show for teens" to the list!"
"But that's not-actually, that's a pretty apt description of Total Drama." Magolor admitted. "Welcome aboard Scott! To the Lor Starcutter with the other 17 peeps here!"
"I'm not really all that interested in Kirby, but since it is a Stupid Nintendo Game, eh, might as well join in."
"Great! Now that we've introduced all of you guys, how 'bout we form the teams?"
"So long as my team isn't filled with utter morons, I don't care what team I'm on." Nelly said.
Lollipop agreed with her. "Sigh, same! And also no dumb team names!"
"Everyone relax! Our teams were chosen specifically by the production team, who repeatedly reassured me that they are the best possible combination!"
"The first team consists of:"
"Knuckles."
"Meta Knight."
"Lollipop."
"Bubbles."
"Suwako Moriya"
"Katz."
"Barbara."
"Bernadetta Von Varley." (who still not conscious)
"And Scott Wozniak. You guys will be known officially known as The Echidna Warriors! Named after Knuckles's fallen brethren."
"I would've preferred the Not Liking RPG Guys, but this works as well, it's pretty much a synonym." Scott said.
"I for one would've been happy with any outcome!" Bubbles said. "Right Suwako?"
Suwako didn't even notice Bubbles was talking to her, instead deciding to look at Bernadetta's passed out body with a smirk.
"As for team 2, they consist of:"
"Captain."
"Prohyas Warrior."
"Mr. Eugene H. Krabs."
"Deadpool."
"Princess Cookie."
"Darla Dimple."
"Nagito Komeada."
"Millia Rage."
"And Nelly Raimon. You'll be The Crewmates!"
"Awesome! Common Among Us Win!" Captain celebrates. "Listen team, since I'm the most well versed of all the crewmates, I should be the leader!"
Nelly looked down upon him. "If you want people to treat you as a leader, you should demonstrate those skills first."
"Anywho, does anyone have any questions on their mind?"
"When do I get money?" Mr. Krabs asked.
"Where's the toilet?" Asked Prohyas.
"Or the adventures?" Added Princess Cookie.
"Can we fight?" Barbara asked as she readied her axe.
"IWANNAGOHOME" Bernadetta yelled as the rest of the cast looked at her.
"When you win, east to the confessional, when the first challenge starts, won't take long, you can just ask your team to vote you off. There, I just answered all of your questions! Aren't I such a great host?"
Magolor then noticed no one said a damn thing in response to that, disappointing him. "Oh, ok, how about I introduce the confessional? I-It's located right at the ship's cockpit, meant as a place to spill your darkest secrets!"
"Cockpit huh." Captain said as he scratched his head. "Can I be the pilot? Those 14 years of flight school have got to come in handy!"
Everyone was baffled by that idea. "You spent 14 years in flight school?!" Prohyas asked. "That usually takes like a year and a half!"
"So what? That just gives me more experience than the average pilot!"
Magolor facepalmed.
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Confessional: Magolor
We see Magolor at the pilot's seat.
Magolor: And no, you can't sit here. There's a spot right next to this one, don't try to do something dumb.
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Confessional: Meta Knight
We then cut to Meta Knight, who was standing right next Magolor.
Meta Knight: Got that sir. Your ship sure is nice, like the Halberd.
Magolor: Thanks Meta Knight!
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Confessional: Prohyas Warrior
Prohyas: WOO! Everyone here is so cool, and I just can't wait for all the adventures we'll have together!
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Confessional: Lollipop
Lollipop: So far, I already don't like most of these people. That Bernadetta girl though, my thoughts on her are...complicated, to say the least.
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Confessional: Knuckles The Echidna
Knuckles: Magolor has given my team quite the fitting name, and a great honor to my ancestors.
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Confessional: Bubbles Utonium
Bubbles: Hi Blossom, Buttercup and Professor Utonium! I'm winning this for you guys at home!
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Confessional: Captain
Captain: I hope Player and Dum will be able to make it far in their own respective reality shows, me on the other hand, oh, I don't need encouragement, I'll probably win without even thinking!
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Confessional: Mr. Krabs
Krabs: Remember to eat at the Krusty Krab! We've got the best and only Krabby Patties in me universe!
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Confessional: Suwako Moriya
Suwako: It's been getting harder and harder to make people believe in me as a goddess, mainly because I look like I'm five and no one is willing to risk jail time to worship me! Pesky cowards they are!
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Confessional: Deadpool
Deadpool: Alright then, how do I make it super far again, hmmm, OH! I got an idea! I'll be the main villain of this season! That shouldn't be too hard, cuz after all, bad guys tend to make it super far even when it makes no f****** sense, so there are no downsides whatsoever to this plan!
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Confessional: Katz
Katz was currently deep in thought.
Katz: Ah, now, viewer, you'd think that, for such a prestigious show, they'd do the simplest of backround checks? But no, it sure doesn't bloody seem like it, because if they did, well, let's just say I wouldn't be here. Now, my wicked plan is still not complete conceptually, but I can guarantee these competitors would all be nothing but mere puddles of blood and organs by the end.
He then does a little chuckle.
Katz: Oh, how diabolical of me!
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Confessional: Princess Cookie
Princess Cookie was seen crossing her legs and posing for the camera.
Princess Cookie: Take as much time as you'd like. Everyone's gonna love seeing their princess up close!
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Confessional: Darla Dimple
Darla was snickering in a way that was completely unlike her previous behaviour.
Darla: These people are so moronic! All I need to do is talk in a squeaky voice and smile a bit and they wouldn't even think that I'm anything but a little angel! This game is gonna be so fun for me!
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Confessional: Nagito Komaeda
Nagito: Why was I accepted? What's so peculiar about me that I needed to join this show, according to those people? It can't be for my luck, I wasn't selected via lottery like Hope's Peak, I shouldn't be here. I suppose I'll try to give hope to my team, since that's the only thing I'm good for, a mere stepping stone.
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Confessional: Barbara
Barbara: Why are we not fighting already?
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Confessional: Bernadetta Von Varley
Bernadetta: SOMEONE S-SAVE ME! IDON'TDESERVETHIS!WHYDIDEDELGARDSENDMEHERE!
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Confessional: Millia Rage
Millia: ...We've got quite the group here, shouldn't be too hard to win with them.
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Confessional: Nelly Raimon
Nelly sat in quite gracefully.
Nelly: If my team is anything like Raimon, leading them is my best option to make it far in the game. An alliance would also be a good start.
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Confessional: Scott The Woz
Scott: Does anyone want me to talk about the filesize of videogames?
All we hear is some crickets.
Scott: But what about the L button?
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"Now that we're done with the confessionals, I suppose it's time for a little tour of the ship, to get you guys up to speed."
Princess Cookie groaned at that. "Boooooooring! When do we get to the fun stuff?"
"I agree. I came to this show to fight people, not to listen to a boring host!" Barbara said.
Nelly told those two off. "Be patient for once. No one is going to enjoy complaining about every little thing."
"That's also referring to you, lolly girl!" Suwako said at Lollipop's expense, who just replied with a "Whatever".
"This is the deck of the Lor Starcutter. Pretty normal one I might add, but it there is a nice view from here."
Deadpool got angry. "Man the author's just a total lazy ass! He can't describe even the simplest f****** location to save his life!"
Everyone ignored his stupid ass.
"This ship reminds me of me time in the Navy." Mr. Krabs said. "Ah, good times indeed."
"Good to know there's a fellow captain here!" Captain noted. "Maybe we can have a little race after the game ends?
"With your 14 years of flight school, I'm sure it would be a joy to watch." Nelly sarcastically said.
We now cut to a cafeteria, where an orange blob thing in a chef's outfit was making an omelet.
"Alrighty then, we're at just the right degrees and oil! This needs to be as good as possible for the guests!" The blob then noticed everyone was already there. "Oh hey Magolor! I see you've brought these guests along?"
"Right on that! This here is the cafeteria, with tons of delicious food made by the amazing Chef Kawasaki! He's the most well known chef in all of Dreamland, so compared to the previous seasons of the show, the food will actually be tolerable!"
Prohyas was amazed. "Did somebody say food?!" He then tried to enter the kitchen, but Chef Kawasaki blocked his exit.
"Not now mister, this food will only be eaten in the morning, which is after the challenge, but regardless, I appreciate the thought."
"Oh man." Prohyas said, sad. "Guess I should be really put in the effort, lest I don't get to eat the chef's wonderful feasts!"
"It's very nice of you Magolor, you didn't need to do any of this, but you still did it." Meta Knight thanked Magolor. "What do you say Knuckles?"
"I for one do enjoy the idea of only receiving food after a challenge, it gives you more motivation to go on!"
Kawasaki looked a little flustered. "W-Why thank you sir! Feedback always helps me!"
"It's also nice to see a familliar figure among these strange people from other worlds.
We get another cut to a hallway, which had two more or less identical rooms. Both these rooms were simple bedrooms with a rug and 4 pairs of bunk beds. Outside, they each had a logo for the respective team they housed, an echidna similar to Knuckles on one and the other a red astronaut similar to Captain making a "Shhhh" expression with it's finger.
"And lastly, these are your rooms! There are exactly 8 beds instead of 9, partially because 2 of you were only added last minute, partly because we didn't think an extra bed would be necessary since one team is going to lose a member later today!"
Both Captain and Knuckles looked at their team's logo in sorrow. "Man, this looks like my best friend Player without his stupid hat, I miss him."
Knuckles felt the same pain to a larger extent. "At least he's still somewhere out there in the world, unlike my kind, who were wiped out when I was a young warrior in training."
Meta Knight comforted Knuckles. "I know how it feels to lose all the people you knew and cared about. The Star Warriors, the ones who made me who I am today, also perished in combat. Yet regardless, we should press on, and carry out their legacy!"
Knuckles was quite touched by this gesture. "That is...thank you Meta Knight, you are one honorable fighter."
During all this, some of the cast, like Prohyas for instance, started to tear up. "I-I can't do this man, this is way too sad!"
Even Magolor had a tear or two. "O-Ok, that's heartwrenching and all, but can we just move on so I can talk about your dorms?"
"Finally someone who isn't a wuss." Lollipop said, getting a few glares on the way.
"Now that we're done with our tour, I suggest you guys make yourselves comfortable in your home for the next few months! The challenge will start in only a few hours!"
Before the members of The Crewmates could relax in their beds, Nelly decided to make a little meeting beforehand.
"Everyone listen, I think we should try to decided on which one of us shall not have a bed, and who should be our bunkmates."
Deadpool smirked. "Hit me with the word Ms. Authority."
"Yeah! Who died and made you leader?" Captain asked her. "I don't see any dead bodies here, ergo, I'm the leader!"
"I'm going to be honest: I'd rather be ordered around by this 11 or so year old girl than the moron over there." Millia admitted.
"Yeah! Girl Power!" Darla yelled. "Take that patriarchy!"
"I for one think Captain's better fit for a leader." Nagito said in defense. "I can just feel his unwavering hope through my veins!"
"Ignoring what the white haired kid said, I actually want Captain to be leader." Prohyas added. "He seems nicer than Nelly."
"E-Excuse me? Are you trusting him over me when he's made it clear he has no idea what he's doing?"
"I'm with football girl on that one, his hat looks so dumb!" Princess Cookie said, getting a glare from Captain.
"Let's just try to do this the democratic way." Nelly said. "Mr. Krabs, what do you think?"
We then cut to the outside of their room, where we can see Captain being thrown out the door. "This is a mutiny!" He yells out. "Have fun losing all the time!"
At the Echidna Warriors room, we could see that Suwako was sleeping while afloat.
"This is why I don't believe in any divine being." Katz said.
Meanwhile, Barbara was trying to attack Bubbles. "Come on Barbie, don't be like that! I-I'm sure we can work this out!"
"Work this out? I don't have any grudge towards others, I just like fighting, so do so!"
"HELP!"
Meta Knight and Knuckles were off to the side, looking at Barbara with dismay. "A true honorable warrior won't look for an unwilling fight with an innocent." Meta Knight noted.
"And one also knows when to not pick a fight."
Barbara heard all that and was not happy. "WHAT? DO YOU DOUBT MY HONOR?!"
"DOES NO ONE ELSE HERE NOT PAY THEIR TAXES?!" Scott abruptly asked in the middle of the argument, ironically ending it by confusing the crap out of everyone.
"Aaaaah, peace and quiet, just what I need before my next adventure!" Princess Cookie said as she put her cute, nonexistent gingerbread toes on the-wait, this ain't a Quintin Tarantino flick, or a deviantart comission for that matter, this is a kid friendly fanfiction! Anyway, yeah, she just sat in her bed when Prohyas initiated a little conversation.
"So I heard you like adventures?"
"Yeah! Way more fun than doing some boring "princessy" duty my parents want me to do! I still love them obviously, but they get pretty strict with what I can do at the palace."
"Funny you mention that, cause my sis is actually my partner. We're called the "Warriors for Hire" and collect these super awesome weapons called Magiswords!"
"Your family sounds way cooler than mine! Except grandmama, she's cool I guess, Ancient Hero and all."
Deadpool looked at the two adventures and said "Man, those two are f*****', you know what I'm sayin'?
And finally, at the Echidna Warriors', Bernadetta was just staying in a bed, completely frozen in fear the whole time. That is, until she heard two hands clapping.
It was Lollipop, who suddenly came face to face with her, and she couldn't hide her fear even if she tried.
"W-WHO ARE YOU?! D-DO YOUWANTTOKILLME?!WHYYYYYY-" She was then slapped by her.
"Look, I-I'm not trying to do you any harm, the opposite in fact. I'm trying to help you."
Bernie was still not convinced. "T-Then w-why d-did y-you s-slap ME?"
Lollipop let out a deep sigh. "It's just...I want you to calm down, mainly because your screaming makes me wanna rip my ears out and no other reason."
"S-So you d-do admit I'm a liability?"
"No, I...UGH! Just, don't, try to break down okay? If anyone here is trying to hurt you, talk to me if you need help with that."
"Al...right?"
We now cut to Magolor at the ship's cockpit again.
"And that was our first episode! Hope I did good this time! Next episode will be our first challenge in The Great Cave Offensive not too far from here! Who will win and who will lose? What bonds will be formed? Tune in next time for more Total Drama Superstars!"
Well that was by far the best first chapter I've written thus far. Nearly every character got their time to shine, and some already have interesting dynamics, like Nelly and Captain's rivalry, or Lollipop's strange interest in Bernadetta. These bonds and more are all gonna be important to the plot in some way, and I can't wait for you guys to see how they progress!
