Loyalty
When House arrived the next morning all the fellows were already present. Rather than divert via his office, he went straight into the conference room, moving to lean against the windowsill. As he took up position, however, his bag tangled in a piece of tinsel Cameron had draped artfully around the window. "Ah, crap…", he muttered, realising that he had torn it from its position. The first attempt to unthread it from the bag zipper was unsuccessful.
"It's OK. Here, let me…". Cameron got up from the table and batted his fingers away. Carefully, she managed to liberate the decoration with minimal fraying.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your setup".
"Don't be silly, it's no problem". Recent policy was not to meet his gaze, but here she inadvertently glanced up. Familiar, shockingly blue eyes stared back.
"Thanks", he croaked, suddenly aware of Cameron's appearance: beautiful but perceptibly sad, the emotion suffused her features even if she tried to hide it with a quick smile.
"House?", Foreman prompted from the table.
"Huh? What was that?". The diagnostician cleared his throat and turned, reluctantly, to face the others.
"You said yesterday that there was some departmental business to sort out?".
"Ah, yes-".
"-before you start, House. I've already explained our…personal situation to them, so there's no need to get into that specifically". Cameron had returned to sitting at the table and avoiding his eye.
"And the circumstances around it?", he asked quietly.
"What circumstances?". Chase looked between them both quickly.
House sighed, beginning to pace the room. "Over the last few months, it has been…brought to my attention that matters in Diagnostics haven't been quite as rosy as I thought. There have been mistakes, errors in judgement, lapses in focus. And I share most of the blame". Chase and Foreman looked ready to jump in but House held up his hand, pre-empting their interruption. "Look, the ins and outs of what happened are irrelevant. What is relevant is how we plan on moving forward".
"I find this hard to believe", said the intensivist. "I mean, we all take pride in our work, and nothing has seemed that irregular to me". He looked around the room for support but Cameron had her gaze down.
Foreman, too, remained quiet. Although taken aback that things had deteriorated to the degree alleged by his boss, it wasn't all that surprising. Had Foreman himself not confided in the others that he thought House to be losing his edge? It stood to reason that there were consequences of that. This was something he had only mentioned in passing, but he had been seriously considering taking up a position with Marty Hamilton in California, ostensibly because he wanted a better promotion path. In actuality, however, a part of him suspected he had taken all he could from this job. And House's apparent decline needed adding to the pot: if the man was no longer brilliant, why work for him at all?
"I've already had this conversation with Cameron and I'm not having it again. Errors were made, just take my word for it. All we need to focus on now is how to avoid this happening in the future".
"You're basically saying, out of the blue, that we've been unwittingly crap doctors. I think we deserve more of an explanation-", began Chase.
"-I don't give a shit what you think you deserve, skippy", snapped House. "This is not a democracy. From now on, I am personally checking every single diagnosis, treatment plan and patient file that passes within these walls".
"For how long?", queried Foreman.
"For as long as I deem it necessary".
"But you just admitted that the problem lays with you, House. None of us...", Foreman gestured around the room, "...have been affected to the same degree".
"What's your point?".
"My point is that perhaps it's you whose work needs checking, not us".
The other two fellows watched on with bated breath.
"Aha, so now Eric makes his powerplay. You want my job? Is that it?". House folded his arms and smirked.
"I just resent being punished for mistakes you are responsible for. If we lose all discretionary power, it reduces us to school kids. And frankly, as you already admitted, if your judgement is impaired, then what makes you think that you even have the ability to check over our work?".
"Because", House shot back, eyes flashing, "I've not changed. I'm still the same doctor I was. I'm still miles better than you".
"But you're not, though", replied Foreman, folding his arms. "Not anymore".
"Why are you being such a dick about this?", asked Cameron in a low voice. "We're all diagnosticians; we're all part of this department. Any mistakes that have been made are the responsibility of everyone".
"Look, no offence, but I completely disagree. We're a team, sure, but we're also individuals, and I know for a fact my work has been top quality over the period in question".
"Your objection has been noted", growled House. "Unfortunately for you, however, you ain't the boss. Everything will be doublechecked; everything will go through me. And I'll also be writing performance reviews-".
"-this is such bullshit", interrupted Foreman again. "You're punishing us for your failings!".
"Get the fuck out of my department". House's voice was like ice. "Go!".
The other man shook his head but nevertheless stalked out of the door and down the corridor.
There was silence in the room until House sighed, ruffling his hair as he spoke: "look, we don't have a case...so if you want, feel free to leave. Go help in the clinic, do some research, answer emails. Whatever. I need to think".
Chase cleared his throat and got to his feet. Cameron did the same and they both left quietly, the door swinging shut behind them. "Fancy heading to the cafeteria for a coffee?", he asked. "Didn't manage to make one before all hell broke loose".
"I guess so". Before moving out of sight, the immunologist glanced back through the glass. House had taken up position by the window and one of his hands was slowly twisting the red tinsel as he gazed out onto the snow. He looked like the loneliest man in the world.
"Come in", called Cuddy, looking up from her papers on the desk.
"Have you got a minute?", asked Foreman.
"Yep. What is it?".
The neurologist sat in the seat opposite and sighed. "Look, it's not easy for me to say this, and I know he's your friend, but I have a professional responsibility to report the truth".
Cuddy tilted her head. "That sounds ominous…".
"It turns out that there have been issues in Diagnostics over this last half-year or so which have caused a deterioration in the quality of patient care we provide".
"Can you be more specific?".
"Honestly, not really. House basically just sprang it on us this morning".
The Dean rubbed her eyes before sitting back in her chair. If Foreman were telling the truth, and there was no reason to suspect otherwise, there would be repercussions depending on the seriousness of the situation. The main issue was that House had not informed her first. Distracted and down he may be over the whole Cameron debacle, it didn't excuse him keeping her in the dark. All the same, it did not go unnoticed that Foreman had been the one to go behind House's back. The man was Machiavellian. What to make of that Cuddy did not yet know. "This is a problem", she said slowly. "But if there have been mistakes, why have you guys not noticed this before? Why is it only coming out now?".
"Well", he replied, "I've thought House has been less sharp than normal recently".
"How recently?".
"Dunno; last month, two months?".
"I don't recall seeing the body bags overflowing out of your door".
"No, it's been pretty average in that respect. I wouldn't say we've lost more patients than usual".
"OK, so I'm struggling to see what the problem is. If no one's died, what's the issue? Procedure?".
"I don't know. But House thinks there is an issue, and I think it's why he broke up with Cameron".
"Maybe Cameron screwed up and House can't accept it?", she wondered.
"Or maybe House screwed up and isn't telling us something. No idea. Maybe you should talk to him".
"Oh, you think?", she scoffed sarcastically, letting the silence grow. The output from Diagnostics had been no cause for concern. Sure, they'd lost a patient here and there, but that came with the territory: when you worked on the boundary of medicine, things were inevitably more precarious. But if there had been no excess deaths, then what exactly could the 'mistakes' be referring to? Cuddy noticed Foreman still sitting there. "You may go. Thanks for this".
He nodded and got to his feet. Still, he seemed reluctant to leave. "Erm, just so you know, if there are changes in the pipeline, I'd be more than happy to take on extra responsibility".
"Noted", she remarked drily. "But how about we let House talk before drawing up the papers for Human Resources?".
Cameron had initially planned to head to the office after her coffee break with Chase, but when it became clear that he too intended to walk back, she quickly diverted to the clinic instead. Nothing explicit had come up during their rendezvous, but she could tell that he was not going to wait long before he once again signalled his interest. So, once again, she would need to tell him to take a hike. It hadn't even been a week. Anyway, Chase was the least of her problems, even though he had asked her along to the Christmas gathering tonight 'as a friend'. She had deferred.
Right now, though, her problem was Brenda the clinic nurse. Or more specifically her problem was with Brenda the clinic nurse. Cameron had read the email thread between Wilson and this woman the night she and House had decided to end it, and she knew how oncologist and nurse had conspired to treat House's patient and rifle through his case notes. The rational part of Cameron knew that Brenda was only doing her job, but she was in no mood to be rational. Though they were no longer together, she could still be loyal to House. "Mrs Hill in exam room three needs someone to help her extract a sample. Would you mind?", asked the immunologist, noting that this person was a semi-regular attendee at the clinic and horrifically overweight.
"That woman always asks for help even though she can manage perfectly well. I think she enjoys the attention", replied Brenda.
"Well then, I suggest you start thinking of conversation topics because she also needs her dressings changed".
"I'll get Isabelle to do it. She needs the practice anyway".
Cameron fixed the other with a green-eyed stare. "No. I asked you, not Isabelle".
Brenda raised a confused eyebrow at the tone but nevertheless nodded. "Alright. Janet…", she motioned to the second person on duty, "…would you complete the admission forms for Mr. Ventris while I'm away? He's having some difficulty".
"No problem", replied the woman, who glanced at Cameron still scribbling on a file. "I sent Jonny Gambino to exam room two; hope that's OK?".
"Yes, I'll head over now. Knee pain, right?".
"Uhuh. He arrived with his father, who, I have to say, is very attractive in a silver fox sort of way".
The immunologist gave a tight smile. "I'll bear that in mind".
"Are you coming to the Christmas party later?".
"Probably not". Then again, spending the evening alone in her apartment was scarcely more appealing.
A couple of hours later Cameron had just finished her umpteenth patient of the afternoon and was thinking about clocking off. But before she could head back up to the office, Cuddy approached her at the nurses' station. "Allison, could I have a word, please?".
The immunologist neatly signed off on the last chart, added it to the appropriate stack and headed over to her boss, who had moved back towards her office. "What's up?".
"Foreman came to me earlier today with some…accusations, the seriousness of which I'm still unsure about".
"Accusations? What kind of accusations?", asked Cameron, somewhat surprised by the terminology.
"As in, mistakes in Diagnostics".
"Ah". This was a tricky situation. It was really House's news to break, and she had no desire to pre-empt whatever plans he had to tell Cuddy himself. Things were hard enough for him already, especially since Foreman had so publicly (and she thought insultingly) expressed his displeasure with the situation. Still, the Dean now knew, so it would be impossible to plead ignorance. Straightforward honesty would be the best policy. "Before I say anything, I want you to know: I think House remains a brilliant doctor, and Foreman's completely overreacting. He's been pissed at House for a while and things came to a head".
"I understand. What happened?".
"Let's go into your office?".
Over the next twenty minutes the two women discussed events of the past fortnight or so. Cameron informed Cuddy of Wilson's undercover investigation into his friend's practice, the conclusions of that investigation, and the consequences on that night a few days ago when House had found out everything. As regards their own relationship, Cameron confided as much as her still-raw feelings could bear concerning how and why it ended. Finally, she revealed the happenings from this morning in the office.
Cuddy had many questions, but the first was a personal one. "So, you ended things for House?".
"Yes. Going in, I knew what he was like; I knew that my walking away might be required", she explained, though her voice was far-off and soft.
"That's…", began the Dean, ridiculous? Brave? Admirable? "…unbelievably selfless of you, to forget your own feelings and step back like that".
Cameron shrugged. "Medicine is House's identity, and over this last while he's lost that. Hopefully now he can reclaim it".
"Medicine is his job, not his identity".
"No", Cameron replied instantly, "it isn't. It's his life, it…it defines his being".
Cuddy nodded slightly. "But he's been so happy; you both have".
"Happiness isn't enough. I want House to regain his focus, to regain his sense of self. Everything else is secondary".
"Even you?".
"Especially me".
"How can you do that? Like, how can you just side-line your own feelings?".
"I love him more than I love myself. Always have, likely always will". At this response Cuddy shook her head. "You think I'm being stupid, don't you?", smiled Cameron sadly.
"Nah, I just think you need to be with House. And I think he needs to be with you".
"Only if he's comfortable".
"And if that day never comes?".
"Then I'll always have the time we did spend together. What're your thoughts regarding Foreman's points?".
"I need to think about it, and talk with House directly. At the moment, I've half a mind to let him deal with it himself. Given that he, and you, are willing to break up over it, I'm kinda of the view that any review or punishment I could devise would be almost superfluous".
"Hopefully he won't mind that I told you".
"I've got you covered. I basically cornered you anyway. Hey, what're you doing tonight?".
Ugh, this again. "Eating ice cream in front of Netflix. I had to reject Chase's invitation to the party".
"Come as my friend then. That'll keep Chase at bay as well".
"Ah, I dunno…".
"These things are always pretty lonely for me. Please? I promise I won't hit on you".
"Oh, fine. But I won't be good company, and I reserve the right to be a grumpy bitch".
"I'd expect nothing less", grinned Cuddy and, for the first time in a while, Cameron managed something approaching a genuine smile.
I saw the new James Bond (very good, by the way) and it made me think of House and Cameron. Still trying to figure out why, though most likely it'll serve as inspiration for a future chapter.