/Temari/
I walk through the cold streets, grateful that I took the coat. He hasn't even done anything to me, I know he never would, but the fear is stronger than I am. The assaults are still too recent to forget and Nara doesn't exactly look cute with that athletic physique, the fear is stronger than I am.
When I get home, still shaken, I find the living room empty, I haven't even seen the time go by, but from the time on my mobile phone clock it's after ten and Tenten must already be in her room. I text Shikamaru before heading up to my room. I'm almost at the stairs when I see Anko heading towards the kitchen.
- Good evening! - she says happily, but then changes her expression when she looks at me – Are you alright? - I think I've failed to hide my emotions.
- Yes, don't worry. It's just some stupid things.
- If I was some stupid thing, you wouldn't look like that. You can talk to me if you want.
- Thank you, but right now I just need some time alone. - I say and go upstairs without waiting for an answer.
I went into my room and to my relief Tsuki was there waiting for me, sitting on the bed. I lie down next to him and he climbs onto my legs and starts purring, it's amazing how animals can sense when you're feeling down.
I hate my mind with all my might. Why did I react like that? I know he would never hurt me, at least I hope so. I trust him, I really do, but something inside me won't let me trust anyone.
Fuck, I hate my ex!
I can't control myself and, for the first time in months, I cry. I cry because if there's one thing tonight has taught me, it's that I have feelings for Shikamaru, but I know our relationship won't move forward. But honestly, I don't know if I'm ready for that. I'm still too scared.
I hate emotions! I hate my stupid heart that aches at little things. It had to be the coolest playboy on campus, couldn't it be the rich medical student?
Much to Tsuki's chagrin, I turn round and form a ball clutching my knees as I try to keep the crying down, Ten's next door and I don't want her to come here.
With my heart breaking again and my tears wetting the pillowcase, I fall asleep embraced by his scent, I haven't had the courage to take his jacket off yet, somehow that calms me, because he calms me. But I had to leave, I couldn't see him again tonight, I couldn't see anyone else.
I woke up with the alarm clock hammering in my head, I was hoping to look presentable to avoid questions, but as I saw my finished reflection in the mirror I realised that this would be impossible. My dark circles are absurdly large from crying yesterday, I'm still wearing Shika's jacket and his scent is now mixed with mine.
I need a shower, I need to refresh everything in me, if possible even my soul.
I take off the jacket, fold it and put it gently on my desk. I make my way to the shower, maybe the water will help my appearance.
My little hope fades when I look in the mirror again with little difference. I want to cry again, but this time out of frustration. Unless I do an amazing job with my make-up, the worried looks and the 'Is everything OK?' and 'What happened?' will haunt me all day.
And if Shikamaru sees me he'll realise that last night had a bigger effect on me than I let on and he'll ask even worse questions that will lead to a conversation I don't want to have.
When I unlocked my mobile phone I expected a load of missed calls and messages, but I'm surprised to see only a 'goodnight princess' in response to the message I sent yesterday.
I hate that he understands me so well that he realises I need space and not useless conversations. I hope the rest of my friends understand that too.
After getting dressed, drying my hair and trying to hide the evidence with a lot of concealer and foundation, I open the door to my room with trembling hands, I'm going to have to face them sooner or later, and my stomach is already rumbling with hunger, I can't deny myself breakfast any longer.
When I got downstairs, my two housemates were already in the kitchen eating their meal.
- Good morning! - I say with my best fake smile.
Despite Tenten's suspicious look, they both respond cheerfully to my good morning.
- Can you believe Anko woke up early to go for a run? Who does exercise in the morning? - Ten looks terrified as she speaks and Anko just laughs at the situation.
- Lots of people exercise in the morning! Not everyone is as lazy as you! - I reply, fortunately I have good friends who will make me forget my problems easily.
- Psychotic, I tell you, complete psychopaths! - she says.
- Half of your group of friends probably exercise in the morning! - I reply, unable to contain my laughter at her dramatics.
- Nobody said my friends were normal. - she says and then realises that Anko is still by her side.
- Don't worry, I'm beginning to understand your type of humour! - she says calmly.
- Luckily! I think one of these days my sarcasm is going to get me into serious trouble. - she sighs.
- At least you're not going on your own, you're taking Ino with you! - I reply, ready with breakfast and sitting down to eat.
- I'm going to finish getting ready, I'll see you soon! - Anko says before going back to her room.
The rest of the snack remains silent while Tenten washes her dishes and I eat my toast - Don't think I don't know that you put foundation on to hide the dark circles under your eyes and that you've been crying! I heard you yesterday! - she says as she wipes her hands on the cloth, and I prepare myself for the conversation we're about to have without being able to look her in the eyes - I'm not going to ask you any questions, but you know you can come and see me whenever you want. - I lift my gaze and give her a grateful smile. She leaves without saying another word.
I try to mentally prepare myself for the rest of my day, in an internal plea for everyone to react like her.
The morning has been quiet and, so far, no-one has commented on my look of defeat, maybe I've done a really good job of trying to hide it.
The canteen was the usual racket when I put my tray down on the table next to Kiba and Rin. If I survive this lunch with Ino, I think I'll survive anything.
I hope he doesn't see me and come talk to me, I don't think I'm ready yet.
I feel a shiver run down my spine when I hear Ino's good afternoon and the sound of her tray being put down in front of me.
- So how have you been since yesterday afternoon? - she asks cheerfully.
- I'm fine, and from the smile on your face I don't think we need to ask! - Kiba replies.
- You know how it is, that's life in love! - she replies and we all roll our eyes.
- I think I'm going to be sick! - the brunette replies and we all laugh.
- That makes two of us! - Rin sighs - My love interest has gone down the drain! He was a total idiot, apparently he was hitting on a lot of girls, and I was just one more in his scheme.
- Oh Rin, I'm so sorry! - I say and hug her.
- It's OK, he won't get to me! - she says confidently.
- That's right! - Kiba shouts.
- I'm glad you're here, otherwise I wouldn't have found you. - Tenten sits down at our table.
- I hope you don't mind if I join you? - says Neji as he sits down next to his girlfriend.
- Of course not, I appreciate the male company! - says Kiba, and once again he makes us laugh.
Fortunately, lunch was quick and I made my way to the last two classes of the day without running into the Nara. Now all I have to do is go home without seeing him. He hasn't called or texted me yet, which is a good sign.
I was almost out of the car park heading home when I heard his voice calling me. I sigh, knowing there's no escape.
- Tema, please! I'm just asking you to forgive me, this is the last week before the Easter break and I don't want to spend them with us like this. - he says sadly, already quite close.
Defeated, I turn to look at him face to face - I've forgiven you, I never blamed you, but you can't ask me to forget or go back to normal. I need some time to think, that's all! - he nods in agreement.
- I'll give you as much time as you need! When you're ready, I'll be here waiting for you! - he says firmly and bids me farewell with a kiss on the cheek that makes me blush.
- I swear, you're just like a pill, instead of making me better, you just make me ill!' I whisper when he's far enough away that I can't hear and I deny my own thoughts with my head. Feeling the way I do is not what I wanted right now.
I go straight into the house and wash my face, I can't stand all this make-up and my dark circles must have reduced enough to be justified by lack of sleep, I still have my dance class and I don't want to sweat with it on my face.
For the first time today, I'm happy to look at myself in the mirror, the visible symptoms of the bad night are now much reduced.
In just over half an hour, Tenten arrives home and I remain silent on the sofa while she prepares things for the class, even though we still have another hour.
She sat down next to me and soon the awkward silence settled as we pretended to watch what was on TV. Sooner or later I'd have to tell her.
- You want to know what happened, don't you? - I asked.
- I don't want you to feel obliged, but I'm worried! - she admits.
- You don't have to worry, it was a silly thing. I was being annoying and he raised his voice and held my hand. I know he would never hurt me, but my fear is still real. I've forgiven him, I've never blamed him. - I admit, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
- So why all the crying? - she asks confused.
- Because my feelings are a mess and I'm scared. - I admit it and when my eyes fill with tears again, I let my face fall into my hands, I feel Ten's embrace and I recover quickly.
- Thank you for telling me. - she says.
- Thank you for being the best friend in the world! - I say and wipe away the lone tear that stubbornly falls.
- You know I'll always be here. Now, let's get your things together for the dance class, this will be the last routine you'll learn before the break. - she says and I nod.
- True, but there's still an hour to go, take it easy! - I say and make myself more comfortable in my seat.
- I'm excited to find out what song you've chosen!
- You'll find out later! And where is Anko? - I ask.
- I think she had singing and piano lessons today, they got her a new piano teacher, he seemed nice from what they told me. - she explains.
- So I can't wait to meet him! - I turn my attention back to the television and now the silence between us is no longer what it was a few minutes ago, now we're happy and calm with each other's company.
Around five o'clock we were in the studio warming up and stretching for the class, they've had more and more students enrolling and that's incredible.
- It's good to see that the girls have brought some company. - Karui says happily as she sees that they've managed to convince Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, Choji and even Neji to come along for a lesson.
- I was thinking of Ed Sheeran, Don't would be a good choice, we can even work in pairs since we're so well accompanied! - I say jokingly.
- Don't get used to it, it'll only be once, sorry to lose the bet guys! - Lamar laments.
- I still don't understand why you had to get us into this! - Naruto snarls.
- And where's Nara? Wasn't he in on it too? - Sasuke asks and I try to remain calm.
- I'm here, sorry I'm late! - he bursts into the room - You're going to pay for this! - he points at Choji.
- And poor Neji wasn't spared? You hardly know him! - Kiba asks in confusion.
- I'm here by choice, when Tenten told me you were taking classes I decided to sign up, I used to dance in Japan and I missed it! - he admits
- It doesn't matter. We're wasting time, let's get started! - Karui cuts off anyone who wants to speak - Pair up, I'm going to have to change the choreography, I've got a great idea! - I sent her my choice a week ago so she'd have time to create the dance routine, but apparently she didn't expect to have so many people to pair up with.
- I'll take Tema! - Sasuke shouts and grabs my arm without giving me time to think - Ready to enjoy my incredible dancing skills? - he asks and I laugh.
- Oh yes, I hope my feet recover soon! - I say and we both laugh.
With the pairs all formed, we start to learn the choreo and, surprisingly, Uchiha is doing very well - You'll have to make up for saving you from Nara! - he whispers in between the music and I look at him in surprise - You need to improve your acting skills, I may be slow, but I'm not blind. - he says and follows the dance steps while I retain the information.
- If you keep quiet, maybe I can satisfy your gossipy side and tell you what happened! - I tell him.
- I'll be waiting! - he says and stays focused on the choreography.
- Oh, be careful! - Ino shouts at Shikamaru.
- You must think I'm here for fun, you know I'm terrible at dancing! - he says and I can't hold back a weak laugh at the thought. When he wants to, he can dance.
- OK, I think that's enough for today. Let's give Ino's feet a rest and come back tomorrow. - Karui says and we start to get ready to leave.
I feel a slight squeeze on my arm and turn round to find Shika's gaze locked on mine - You're going to the match on Saturday, right? - he asks fearfully.
- Of course I'm going! - I say with a weak smile and kiss his cheek, an act that makes him stand there without reacting. I smile some more and turn to leave. Maybe we can get back to normal! Who knows?
At the entrance, some of the girls were talking to a young brunette at the reception desk and I approached to see what was going on.
- Ah Tema, this is the piano teacher I mentioned! - Ten says and points to the man.
- Nice to meet you, I'm Shino! - he says and holds out his hand, which I gladly shake.
- Temari! - I introduce myself.
- Aren't you interested in piano lessons? - he asks with a smile on his face.
- I think I'll leave that part to Anko, singing and playing aren't really my thing! - I say.
- You don't know unless you try. I used to think I was a zero until I started learning guitar with Naruto, but with effort you can achieve anything! - Hinata assures me.
- I don't think I'm ready for that yet! - I say simply - It was nice meeting you, but it's late and we have to go, don't we girls? - I ask as I look at the time on my mobile phone screen and my housemates nod in agreement.
We say goodbye to the staff and head home. Tomorrow the paired class continues and I hope Sasuke continues to save my feet and hopefully the Nara will get better too, I'm glad I was saved from him otherwise I'd be limping by now.
I only have to endure four more days and then I can go on holiday and not have to face my feelings. Just four more days.
In the 21st century, physical and verbal aggression within romantic relationships still continues, and, despite the efforts of humanitarian organisations, the numbers don't seem to be falling. If you support any story that glorifies this problem, you can stop reading mine.
Kisses❤