I crouch silently at the water's edge, waiting on Gale to join me. Peeta and I moved into the Victors Village a few months ago, however it was like nothing in the games had happened between us. The only interaction we have with each other is a polite wave, maybe a little friendly conversation every now and then, but nothing other than that. Although I have seen him watching out the window as Gale walks in and out of my house at different times throughout the day and night. Gale doesn't understand what happened to me in the games, only Peeta can understand that, but Gale does help to give my life some type of normalcy since returning to District 12. Even though hunting with him still hasn't been normal, everything back home changed since I went into the games. Gale is working in the mines, but he planned today so that we could hunt. Today is the last day I'll be in these woods for a while as the Victory Tour starts this evening.
"Hey catnip," Gale walks up behind me and kneels down next to me, "Have you noticed that all these damn birds just act like they own the place now? Are you ready to hunt?"
"Yeah, I'm ready."
I stand up and walk toward our path. We set snares along this route, catching anything that might come across their path. Usually we catch squirrels, some birds, and once or twice a deer got tangled up in it. We gather what we have caught as we walk along the path, neither of us exchanging a word as we work. We both know what tonight is and we both know what it means. We reach the end of the path and spot an opening in the trees and turkeys running around in the clearing. He crouches first and I follow his lead. Drawing my bow back, aiming right for the turkey's eye. I release the bow and watch as the arrow flies through the air, striking a young blonde-haired boy in the shoulder. I don't feel my scream as it makes its way out of my mouth, scaring anything left near us away. The boy falls to the ground, and I begin to rush toward him, more screams coming out of my mouth, tears streaming down my face as I'm held back from getting to him.
"Katniss! Katniss! It's okay. You're safe. You're with me, in twelve. You're safe," Gale's voice tries to sooth me, holding me against him, "I've got you Katniss. You're safe."
"I killed him! I killed him Gale!" I struggle against him, knowing there is a dead boy laying feet from us. I chance a look at where the boy was laying and see nothing. His body is no longer there. There are only turkeys running away. "It wasn't real. It wasn't real." I mutter.
"Lets go home," Gale suggests, usually I would object, but now I'm grateful for the suggestion and agree willingly.
He helps me to my feet, I'm reluctant to let go of him, but I do. He picks my bow up and we walk back down our path. Gale resets our snares as we walk, but he keeps looking at me. I know he thinks the games destroyed me, and he's right. Ever since I came out of the arena, I've had nightmares. I've barely slept. I know Peeta will understand, assuming he gives me the chance to talk to him on the tour. Gale sets the last snare and joins me again on the path, wrapping his arms around me to pull me into a hug against him. We hide our weapon inside the hollowed log close to the fence line and climb over, entering into the edge of the district. It begins to snow as we walk and I know I need to be heading home now, the tour will be starting soon. We walk back to his house in silence. I prepare to say goodbye to him, again. He asks the question I've known he is going to ask me.
"So, when does the tour leave?"
"A couple hours," I look at his face, he hates saying goodbye, just as much as I do, "It's just for a few weeks Gale. I'll be back before the snow melts."
"Yeah. Well, a lot can happen in a few weeks." I know what direction he's about to take our conversation in.
"It was an act. I did what I had to do to stay alive. You know this." He scoffs at my response.
"Yeah, well it was pretty good act Katniss!"
"Really? Are we going to do this again? I would be dead if I didn't play out that act. You know how I feel about you."
I step closer to him, and he pulls me face to his. His lips getting closer to mine, and closer, until they finally meet. I close my eyes, taking in the feeling before we part. I look up at him. He glances inside his house, probably checking to see if anyone saw what he did. I didn't mind the kiss, it was one that has been building between us, and I enjoyed it. It feels right with Gale, it isn't forced, and it isn't tied to my need to survive the games. It allows me to be more than just a piece in President Snow's games. His eyes have a longing in them that I have never seen before. They say everything that I'm thinking, if only it had been different.
"I had to do that, at least once," Gale turns away from me and walks into the house, leaving me alone.
I walk home alone, longing for Gale's presence. Even in the silence, I feel safe with him. As I enter the victors village, I notice the lights in Haymitch's house are still off. Of course he wouldn't be awake yet. I walk into his house, finding him asleep at the table, hungover no doubt. I try shaking him awake, not bothering with being gentle. That doesn't work and I look around his table, looking for something to wake him with. The alcohol bottles are empty, I'm about to leave and tell Effie to wake him. I notice a mug with liquid on the table, I raise it to my face, ensuring it's not alcohol and then dump it on his head. He wakes up and throws himself from his chair.
"What the hell was that?!" He shouts at me.
"If you wanted someone to baby you, then you asked the wrong person. Maybe ask Peeta next time, or Effie." I turn and walk toward the door to leave.
"Ask me what," Peeta's soft voice is behind me.
"Ask you to wake me without giving me pneumonia," Haymitch's tone sounds like a growl. Peeta sets some bread on the counter.
"Would you like some Katniss?"
"No. I ate at the hob," with Gale, "Thank you."
"Brrr. You must have left the door open, it just got unbearably cold in here… oh wait, thanks your act. You two better warm up before showtime. No one ever uses the room down the hall, expect when Effie visits occasionally. Go at it." He chuckles as he drinks from another flask.
"Yeah, well that's in an hour. So take a bath, get ready. I'm going home. I'll see you tonight." I walk out of the door and across to my house.
I walk inside my house and hang up my jacket. My mother walks into the entryway and approaches me, this is out of character for her. She looks at me and questions how my walk went. The confusion I feel must show on my face. I open my mouth to ask her what walk she's talking about, she knew that I went out with Gale. Prim appears in the doorway and informs me that we have guests. As if on cue, peacekeeper appear behind Prim. Having peacekeepers in my house, especially so close to my sister places me on edge. They motion to me and I walk to where they stand and they lead me down the hall into a back office, which we haven't used since moving into the house. I open the door and President Snow is sitting in the office. I step into the room and they close the door behind us. On the desk is a projector, showing a scene from the games. Specifically, the moment Peeta and I were about to eat the berries.
"President Snow," I greet him and walk toward the desk, I do what I have to do to survive, "What an honor to…"
"Miss Everdeen, we can make things so much simpler if we can simply agree not to lie to each other. What do you say?"
"That would save time." I sit down in front of him. Peeta and I embrace each other on the project before he turns it off.
"Young love. If that head game maker would've had any sense he would've just blown you to bits right then and there when you revealed those berries. But since here you are, so there was no choice left but to allow you to play out the star-crossed, crazed girl in love act. You were very good at what you did, convinced a lot of people," He smirks at me when he says this, making me believe he knows exactly who I had mistakenly convinced, "The people in the capital fell for it, can't get enough of it actually. However, the districts weren't as convinced. You've started this problem, now you are going to help me solve it. Your trick with those berries is being viewed by some as an act of defiance, if you can stand up to us unharmed, what is to prevent an uprising? Our system is very fragile. Imagine thousands of your people dead. Your humble town here reduced to nothing but ashes." He picks up a cookie from the plate on the desk. "These are very good. Did your mother make them?"
"Peeta made them."
"Yes, Peeta. How is he? Shall I pay him a visit to discuss the matter of your relationship? Or shall you tell me? When did he realize your indifference toward him?"
"Why don't you just kill me?"
"I don't want to kill you. We should be friends, or allies at least." I can tell by the tone in his voice, there is another meaning to his words. He doesn't care if I live or die, but at least if I'm alive he can control me. He can keep me a piece of his games, a pawn to move as he sees fit. I could refuse, but if I do, it would be at the price of my family's lives.
"What do I have to do?"
"So glad you asked. Miss Everdeen, when Peeta and you begin your tour, you will be beyond grateful for the generosity of the capital for allowing both of you to survive. But you must be willing to end it all. To end all talks of defiance and uprisings. You must be in love. Think you can manage that?"
"Yes. I will convince them."
"You seem to have misunderstood. I don't want you to convince them, I want you to convince me." He pulls a white rose from his pocket and hands it to me. "This is for you Miss Everdeen. Oh," he stands from his chair and prepares to exit the room, "do make sure you convince me. For the sake of those you love." He flips the monitor on as he leaves.
I stare at the projection on the desk. Horror takes over my body as I process the image playing in front of me. In front of me the projection of Gale and I kissing continues to replay in the air. He knows about Gale, and if I don't convince him of my feelings for Peeta during this trip, he will go after Gale, and probably my mother and sister. He might go after Gale's family as well. I wish Gale was coming to the train station so I can tell him before the tour begins, but I know I won't get that chance. He knew I would have to act on the tour, hopefully he will be able to tell that this is still an act. But I must convince Snow, whatever that takes. I will convince him of my love for Peeta. I look back at the projection of my kiss with Gale and switch the projector off, leaving the room. I will be madly in love with Peeta, whatever that means, and I will do whatever that requires me to do.