It was 1pm.

Steph was in her classroom, marking the last of her Year 9 books. Usually, she hated marking. But, on this occasion, she was grateful she'd let it all pile up. At this rate, she had more than enough marking to get her through till next week! Plenty of distraction.

The day so far had been quiet. Steph was choosing to lock herself away in her classroom. She couldn't stand the whispering in the corridors, or the sympathetic glances being thrown at her from students and staff. She didn't want to be pitied. She just wanted Maxine back. No amount of pity would do that.

She was also hiding from Eddie Lawson. She couldn't stand him trying to defend Rachel. This was her fault, nothing could change her mind. In Eddie's eyes, Rachel Mason was a saint who could do no wrong. He would back her up no matter what. He was besotted with her. It made her feel sick.

She was avoiding Janeece too. Maxine's best friend was the last person she wanted to see or be around right now. Steph wanted to forget about the fact that she was now a grieving Mother, that she had lost a child and that Maxine was never going to come home. She just wanted to ignore it all.

It wasn't the marking that was getting her through today. It was the full bottle of gin she'd found stashed away in her desk drawer. She wasn't sure when she'd bought it, or how it had got there. She'd probably bought it for her and Grantly to share on a Friday afternoon. Either that or she'd confiscated it from a student. It didn't matter really. The alcohol was dulling the pain that was pulsating in her heart. It was drowning her racing thoughts. It was keeping her focussed.

There was a knock at the door. Steph jumped, her head shooting over to the door. She groaned when she saw the silhouette of someone on the other side of the glass. It had to be Eddie; he was the only one who knew she was still here. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

"Come in" she huffed, hastily shoving the gin bottle into her desk drawer

Steph watched as a young woman entered her classroom. She had curly brown hair, soft brown eyes and a kind smile. Steph didn't recognise her. She figured maybe she was from Social Services, but she had no lanyard around her neck so it was hard to tell. Whatever she was here for, Steph didn't want her in her classroom.

"Are you Steph Haydock by any chance?" the woman asked

"Yes. How can I help you?" Steph nodded

"My name is Charlotte, I'm a counsellor"

Of course she was a counsellor. She was the counsellor the LEA had sent in to tidy up the aftermath of Maxine's death. She was the counsellor Eddie had told the staff about.

"Let me guess, Eddie Lawson sent you to 'check on me'" Steph huffed, rolling her eyes

"No. He did mention you, but I've come to see you off my own back" Charlotte explained

"How very noble of you" Steph mumbled sarcastically

"Well... I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I think you're wasting your time... and mine for that matter" she added

"I understand you're Maxine's guardian?" Charlotte inquired, brushing off the Steph's sarcasm

Steph hated that word right now. Legally, she was Maxine's guardian. But personally, and in reality, she didn't deserve that title. A guardian's job is to protect and keep someone safe. Maxine was the one she was supposed to protect and keep safe. And she was dead.

To avoid being psycho-analyzed, Steph nodded politely.

"I just wanted to introduce myself to you. And to let you know that I'm here for the staff as well as the students" Charlotte explained

"Right. Thank you for informing me" Steph huffed

She could feel Charlotte's eyes burning into her. She was trying to read her. Clearly this counsellor didn't know how to read a room. If she did, she'd know that Steph didn't want her there.

"How are you coping?" Charlotte asked gently

Steph scoffed lightly. What kind of question was that?

"I'm fine" she mumbled

"Are you?" Charlotte challenged, her eyes wandering over to the empty bottle of gin in Steph's desk drawer

Steph shut the drawer immediately.

"Yes, I am. Not that it's any of your business" she snapped

Charlotte nodded quietly.

"Well, if there is anything I can do, my office is just down the corridor"

"I don't need your help" Steph grumbled

"Maybe not. But, drinking won't solve your problems either" Charlotte pointed out

Steph glared at her.

"It's none of your business what I do!"

"I know. I'm just trying to help, Steph. You've suffered a huge loss. I'm here to help you. I can't do that,"

"Exactly, so get out!" Steph interrupted

"Steph, I,"

"NO! GET OUT! I don't need psycho-analyzing by you or anyone else!" Steph cried, pushing Charlotte aggressively out of the classroom

"OI! WHAT'S GOING ON?!"

Steph rolled her eyes when she saw Eddie storming down the corridor.

"Ooh, look! Your knight in shining armour is here!" she snarled, looking at Charlotte

"Don't worry, Eddie, I won't tell Rachel you've got another woman on the go!" she added

Eddie glared at her.

"Get to Rachel's office, now" he demanded

Steph rolled her eyes like a moody teenager. She glared at Charlotte as she stumbled unsteadily down the corridor. Eddie frowned as he watched her.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry about that" he asked, turning to Charlotte

Charlotte nodded.

"She's been drinking. I saw an empty bottle of gin in her desk drawer. She'd tried to hide it" she told him

Eddie groaned, stepping into Steph's classroom. His eyes searched the perimeter of her desk. Sure enough, the top of a bottle of gin caught his eye. Eddie closed his eyes as he sighed heavily. He wanted to be angry with Steph. He should have been furious with her. But he couldn't be. Because he understood, to an extent anyway. Steph needed support, not to be shouted at or suspended. She was grieving.

Eddie took the empty bottle out of the drawer, slipping it under his jacket. He planned to hide it in Rachel's office until the end of the day and to dispose of it when he got home. Of course an empty bottle of gin wouldn't do much harm, but Steph already had enough to deal with. She didn't need the kids to be gossiping about her.

"I'll sort this, I'll talk to her" he said to Charlotte, stepping out of the classroom

Charlotte nodded.

"What's going on?" Matt asked as he walked towards Eddie

Eddie sighed.

"Nothing, everything's fine" he reassured

Matt saw the top of the gin bottle sticking out of Eddie's jacket.

"Is that Steph's?" he asked

"No" Eddie replied simply, tucking the bottle further into his jacket

"She's been drinking, hasn't she? I've just seen her; she can barely walk in a straight line!"

Eddie sighed.

"I'm going to speak to her now"

"I offered to let her come and stay with me last night, but she wouldn't. She shouldn't be here, Eddie. I know she doesn't want to be at home, but she can't be at work either"

"I'll talk to her now" Eddie told him, heading back down the corridor

...

Rachel sat in the Doctor's office, wringing her hands together nervously as she waited for her name to be called. Every minute felt like an hour.

She had contemplated calling and cancelling the appointment. For two reasons:

Reason one, she hadn't felt well enough to go. Even if she'd got a taxi, or Eddie had taken her, it wouldn't have made a difference. She didn't feel well and hadn't been able to stop being sick in the hours leading up to her appointment. Part of that was her own fault, since she'd tried to have some toast to make her feel less lightheaded. She was exhausted, her head was pounding, and any energy she'd had, had been drained from her.

Reason two, she already knew the reason she was feeling so unwell. She didn't need a Doctor to confirm she was pregnant. She'd known the second she'd realised her t-shirt didn't fit her. She'd known the second her hand had brushed over the small, barely noticeable curvature of her stomach. The Doctor could confirm it, but they couldn't tell her what she already knew.

But, even so, she hadn't cancelled. Somehow, she had managed to drag herself out of the house and drive herself to the appointment. She wasn't feeling better, not at all. But, she kept thinking about Eddie. Rachel had confirmation from the test, and her body that she was pregnant. Eddie would want confirmation from the Doctor.

As she sat on the plastic chair, anxiously tapping her foot against the wooden floor, she questioned how she hadn't known. How could she have thought this was a sickness bug? No-one at school had a sickness bug (not that, that mattered of course. It only took one person to have it before it spread like wildfire).

How could she not have known she was pregnant?

She'd asked herself that question the last time, when she'd miscarried. The only difference this time around, was the symptoms were staring her in the face. The last time, she'd only been sick once, just hours before she'd miscarried. She could let herself off for not knowing last time. But not this time.

If she felt anything, it was fear. Fear and guilt.

What if she miscarried again? Rachel didn't know exactly how far along she was, but she knew it was early enough for her to still lose the baby. The thought of having to go through another miscarriage, this time with Eddie's baby, threatened to shatter her heart. What if all the nausea and dizziness was indicating that something was wrong? She hadn't been able to eat, and she hadn't been sleeping well either. Would that harm the little one growing inside her?

Could she do this? Could she be a Mother? She had thought so, once. But now, she wasn't so sure. She was the Head Teacher of Waterloo Road. Her main priority was to protect her students. Maxine, her own student, had died because of her. If she couldn't protect her students, how could she protect her own child?

How would Eddie react?

Rachel knew that she and Eddie were on the same page, both in their relationship, and on the subject of having children. Eddie wanted a family with Rachel just as much as Rachel wanted a family with him.

But, what if this was all happening too fast? What if Eddie had changed his mind? If he did decide to leave her, she wouldn't blame him. Maxine was dead because of her after all.

The guilt was almost too much. Steph had just lost Maxine, because of Rachel. And here Rachel was, just 24 hours later, pregnant. She didn't deserve to be happy after this. She didn't deserve to be pregnant, or to become a Mother after all of this. She deserved to lose her job, or have some fatal illness. But not a baby.

The sound of footsteps echoing across the wooden floor pulled Rachel from her thoughts. She looked up to see a female Doctor stood in front of her. Rachel returned her polite smile.

"Are you Rachel Mason?" the Doctor asked

"Yes" she nodded

"I'm Doctor Haig. Would you like to follow me?"

Rachel stood up, following the Doctor down the hallway. Her heart started racing again.

It was time for answers.