I own nothing. Warning, may contain Out of Character moments.

Following the attack on USJ, UA was temporarily closed while the staff worked with police to investigate the incident. And though Mineta generally enjoyed the time off, still unwinding from 1A's tense run in with the League of Villains, he quickly grew bored. Turns out, being stuck in an apartment for the whole day with only so many things to keep him occupied quickly wore down his sanity. It got so bad that Mineta was even willing to welcome Bakugou into his abode, he was that starved for human contact that wasn't his father.

But at last, things have gotten quiet enough for Mineta to leave the protective eye of his Father. Just as long as he came back by six, one can't be too careful around Villains who think they can take on UA. So with all the joy in the world dwelling in the soles of his feet, he ran out and basked in the open air and the afternoon sun.

"You big beautiful blinding bastard, how I missed you…" He groaned, stretching his arms out towards the grossly incandescent body. Though, as that feeling settled, Mineta began wondering what he should do next with his acquired freedom. Visiting any of his usual locals would be pointless as Midoriya often made those visits a hundred times more interesting. Without that, the shorter boy might not even try.

"Hmmm... I guess I'll just visit him; it's been a while since I've done that. Though I guess I need to drop by the Bookside Honda, get something for Mrs. Midoriya." He thought before he started to comb through the contents of his wallet. Once satisfied that he has an antiquate amount of funds, Mineta set out to claim some literature.

As he traveled around the city, the boy began to note how the USJ attack was still being discussed by both the media and random gossipers. He supposed that only made sense as this sort of thing never happened before in a long, long time. But nothing has really changed except for sighting an extra hero or two out on patrol. Still, that gave Mineta a little respite, knowing that things are still in control. That society as he knows it won't go sideways anytime soon.

Anyhow, upon arriving at the book store in question, taking a moment to greet the rather skeletal looking owner of the store, Mineta began combing through the aisles for anything that would be of interest to a house wife. And while he knew Mrs. Midoriya, he really didn't know her that well. This resulted in Mineta caught between the stereotypical stuff, like cook books and other home care manuals… Or the really shelf filling junk, like 100,001 Ways to Predict the Weather, Job Opportunities, and When Your Child Enters a Relationship.

…

Mineta, grabbed that book and began flipping to a random page. His eyes then promptly landed on number 82155, a prediction on 'Enters a Relationship' using weather and job opportunities. There was absolutely no way someone sane will buy this book, which is why he's going to get it. And note, this wasn't a going to be a gift to Mrs. Midoriya, she's a bit more sophisticated than this. No, this book was for Mineta's library because it seemed hilarious enough to own.

And also because he's terribly desperate.

"Failing that, I could get some head's up on Midoriya's love life... Let's see… Your child will find themselves thrust into a relationship when there's a heavy sun shower and they are relied upon for relationship advice?" Mineta thought before reading prediction 82155. That is unusually specific and doesn't really bode well for the shorter boy. Still, this whole thing looks like it's worth giving a quick read through. So with that, Mineta tightly cradled the not so insignificant book on his arm and continued to look through the store.

And that's when he found a familiar electric blonde in the back corner, carefully eyeballing some Classic American Literature. This raised some eyebrows in Mineta, never really pegging Kaminari as a well read individual, let alone an aficionado of ancient works from over the Pacific. Then again, he really doesn't know what the rest of his classmates are really like outside of UA. So perhaps, Mineta should take this chance to familiarize himself with the people he'll be spending his whole high school career with.

And ultimately, expand his friend circle that only consisted of Midoriya, Uraraka, and Iida.

"You know, I'd never really got what any of these guys were writing about. Way too different from how we think now." The shorter boy said as he stood next to Kaminari.

"Woah! Where'd you come from?" He said, jumping away from his shorter classmate. It was kind of funny to see someone who was taller and, without a doubt, stronger jump away from Mineta. Kind of like how most people scream and run from a roach or rat.

…

Mineta had to suppress a frown, there's that comparison again. It's almost as if he can never see himself as something grander than low level vermin. Though he supposed there could be some hidden virtues and advantages associated with those disgusting pests… But he's going to need some off time to figure that out. Time that is not now.

"Blame my parents. But how about you? Here for that alien literature from over the pond?" The shorter boy answered.

"I can get why you say that about all this." Kaminari replied, gesturing towards the shelves full of American Classics. "But no matter how much time passes or how different our cultures are, the themes still carry over. Get us thinking about what it means to be Human…"

The electric blonde swiftly pulled a book out from the shelf with unflinching accuracy before slamming the cover into Mineta's face. The cover illustration had the woman's disembodied eyes and lips against a midnight blue background with a dazzling festival in the foreground. But despite how odd it looked, there was something mysteriously beautiful about it. Then his eyes finally went to the title of the book, The Great Gatsby.

"This right here, a message on what happens when you've become obsessive with the past. It also has boring rich people parties, crazy rich people parties, adultery, murder, a green light, a billboard with giant eyes, a ridiculous yellow car, a pool that Gatsby never swam in, and a narrator named Nick. Many scholars still contest over the characterization of the characters and is still part of the American Reading curriculum. It is a timeless work of literature."

Mineta had to take a step back. While Kaminari was in an exaggerated 'presenting' pose that bordered on laughable, the aura that radiated off his body was quite unsettling. However, the feeling was quite familiar to the shorter boy. And realizing what it was, Mineta let out a laugh that was hidden deep within his diaphragm.

"My God, you sounded like 'Hero Otaku' Midoriya just now."

"… I guess I did. Sorry if that got a little too intense." Kaminari replied with a short laugh, rubbing the back of his head.

"Don't worry about it man, I'm used to that sort of thing. But man, the contrast between this and your usual class performance is stark. Like where was that brain power when Ectoplasm called on you?" Mineta asked as he watched his classmate return the book to its proper place.

"Hey, if it was American Literature, I'd be running circles around the rest of you."

"After what you told me, I don't doubt it." If there was one thing that Mineta learned, it is how difficult it was to outperform someone in their field of expertise.

It was then that the two began conversing in full as they walked around the bookstore. The subject of it changed every so often, but no time felt wasted. And through this, the shorter boy felt a connection being formed with the electric blonde. He learned that Kaminari was a man who liked to experiment with various hobbies. He's been through things like skateboarding, cars, music from a long gone era, generic cool guy stuff. All of it made him look like that one guy who tries really hard to be cool only to end up looking silly.

Not that it made Kaminari any less endearing, since Mineta could guess why he would do such a thing. All of which led to their current tangent of a discussion.

"The human body is art. And art is best when it's consistent. Therefore, the best girls must have proportionally consistent bodies." Mineta said as the two left the bookstore. The shorter boy had settled on a cook book for Mrs. Midoriya's gift, as uncreative as that was. But he was certain that she would enjoy looking through it, just as he would enjoy looking through his 100,001 Predictions. That, however, wasn't what his mind was thinking about currently.

"Not the answer I was expecting… I pegged you as a fan of boobs." Kaminari replied.

"I do appreciate me some boobs… And I don't mind a fine ass… But it's wholly unforgiveable if a girl's body only consists of boobs and/or butt. Have you ever seen that wreck of an Anime, Winners Don't Cheat? The heroine is like a stalk but her breasts could destroy Jupiter if they fell into it."

"Everything about that was a wreck… But yeah, the character designs could've used a bit more time in the oven…" Kaminari muttered, a shiver rolling through his nerves.

"Told you, consistency is king."

"Then how about girls with mutation type Quirks? It kind of messes with your 'consistency' don't you think? I mean, Tsuyu-chan's pretty cute but her big hands and feet are kind of off putting." Kaminari replied. Mineta's brows furrowed as he glared with all his might at the electric blonde. This promptly threw him off, causing Kaminari to stumble away a few steps.

"First of all, don't shit talk Tsuyu. I happen to owe her after what she'd done for me at the USJ. And two, it's not 'my' consistency, it's 'their' consistency. As long as their various body parts are proportionate with each other, I'll be more than happy to… Study them." Mineta replied, his voice going from a low growl to a devious drawl.

"Alright, alright, I get it. But man, it's a shame our class doesn't have more girls in it. Not that there's anything wrong with our current selection mind you. I just wish there was a better ratio, improve the odds of landing a date." Kaminari said as a sigh passing between his lips. Mineta hummed to that as his previous emotions began die down. While there was some merit to his words, there were still plenty of arguments against it.

However, before he could utter even a single word, his eyes caught something sitting in the middle of the intersection ahead of them. The thing was slightly worn but it wasn't enough to dull the light sheen, alluring colors, and provocative figure on the cover. Unable to believe that someone would leave such a thing in the open, the shorter boy jogged ahead to answers his curiosity.

Only to find that the item was what he suspected all along. Lying upon the asphalt was a copy of the world famous, ultra premium, subscription only, gentlemen's magazine… Worship.

"Holy shit, is that the latest issue?" Kaminari asked excitedly as he tried to pick it up. Mineta grabbed the electric blonde's arm, stopping him as the shorter boy felt several eyes on the two. Immediately letting paranoia take hold, Mineta began to assess his surroundings. And that was when he lost all the warmth in his blood.

But not because there were Villains or crooks, it's actually quite the opposite. Coming towards Mineta and Kaminari were their classmates and fellow Heroes in Training. And no matter which direction Mineta turned to, the four roads out of their location had people directly heading towards them.

From the north came Bakugou and Kirishima, both of them drenched in sweat and lugging gym bags.

The South was blocked by Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka, all three of them carrying grocery bags.

West had Mina, Tooru, Yaoyorozu, and Jirou, each of them holding different kinds of bags.

And from the East, Tokoyami and Shouji were carrying black garbage bags and quickly made their approach.

And while under normal circumstances he would be laughing at the sheer coincidence of this meeting. This scenario was anything but funny.

"Why now of all times!? And why are we all holding bags of some sort!?" Mineta thought. If they all catch him right now near this magazine, the image of a dignified classmate will come crashing down. Kaminari may have an inkling of his true nature, but he revealed that willingly and in careful amounts. This, however, is grounds for a strip search of the soul.

Worse still was the fact that Midoriya would get inevitably caught up in his mess. Because Midoriya covered for Mineta when Iida and Uraraka caught a glimpse of his true nature, this would cause them to question his partner. And there would be no easy escape from that. Mineta must get out of this situation…

Even though he doesn't actually have a plan.

"Dude, you alright? You look like you're going to die in a few seconds." Kaminari asked. Mineta proceeded to gesture in the four directions that surround them. The electric blonde took all of two seconds to look and piece things together. His eyes darted to the magazine on the pavement before finally returning to the shorter boy.

"Yeah, this spells trouble… Should we just ignore it and walk away?"

"They've already spotted us and saw you reach for this thing. And I've never seen anyone talk their way out of this sort of thing." Mineta answered grimly. Granted, his only reference was cheap harem series were the blundering idiot of a protagonist has to explain to his ten not girlfriends on how this porn isn't his. But since life sometimes reflects fiction, the shorter boy doesn't want to gamble on the possibility of a misunderstanding.

And in circumstances like this, misunderstandings were guaranteed.

"Then how about we just take it and run?" Kaminari suggested, the panic steadily growing in his voice.

"That sounds like a great idea! We totally won't look suspicious in any way if we do that!" Mineta retorted. The shorter boy realizes that the sarcasm wasn't exactly helping matters, but running away was only helpful in only a handful of situations. This wasn't one of them. Kaminari quickly looked towards their advancing doom before turning back to his short classmate with furrowed brows.

"Then what do you suggest we do? We'll be seriously boned and I don't want to be labeled as 'that guy' by the others."

"There is really only one thing that we can do…" Mineta said, realizing that there was only one true way out of this. He wished it hadn't come to this. He wanted to avoid this bringing up this problem for as long as humanly possible. But alas, fate has consigned him and his new found friend to this demise. And all he could hope for was that, through their guile and wit, they are able to survive the questions with some of their reputation intact.

"We go out in a blaze of glory…" The shorter boy finished, a resigned sigh escaping his lips. Kaminari stared at Mineta before once again looking at their approaching classmates. In just two or three short minutes, they would be forced into a conversation. And it would no doubt involve asking for a reason as to why he and Mineta were standing around the intersection for so long. So without any more options, the electric blonde sighed and looked upon the magazine that sat upon the pavement.

Its serene stillness completely mocking the turmoil the two now faced.

"Well, I guess there are worse ways for someone's social status to die. And who knows, we might get a chance to climb up eventually." Kaminari said, defeated but still holding onto a shred of optimism.

His words resonated with Mineta however. It didn't help him come up with another solution out of this mess. But it did remind him that he and Midoriya were once at the bottom of the ladder. A situation that was completely undone upon their admittance to UA. So if anything, Mineta was certain that he and Kaminari will pull through somehow.

"I'm sure we will. It's been an honor Kaminari." Mineta said before reaching down towards the magazine.

"To you was well Mineta." Kaminari replied, his breath becoming still as the shorter boy grasped the edge of the cover. This was it, no turning back. Mineta took a deep breath and prepared to go into this with his full attention. He might as well go into this with his true, perverted self.

He opened to the middle of the magazine and snapped it open, fully ready for whatever was about to hit him. Except that he wasn't.

"… Excuse me?" Mineta asked to no one in particular. The shorter boy could hear Kaminari reeling back behind him in serious confusion. But he couldn't blame him as the anxiety they both got out of this experience was for nothing.

Both the front and back covers of the magazine was indeed from an issue of Worship… Everything else however, wasn't. Completely gutted of its original content, now the magazine was filled with random numbers and writings on blank paper. And to add further confusion, this wasn't ordinary white copy paper; this was glossy, colored magazine paper. And all of it was even stapled together, making the whole thing more like an unnecessarily gaudy notebook or sketchpad.

Mineta filled through the thing, from one cover to the next, finding the same thing with each turn. Some random person actually took the time to make this thing the way it was. Just the fact that this magazine gave no indication of it being tampered with spoke volumes about its original owner. Either they were an extremely dedicated prankster… Or a crazy idiot who had a moment of brilliance and focus.

Regardless of which, Mineta and Kaminari were outplayed like novices at poker.

"Mineta-kun? Kaminari-kun? Are you two okay?"

The shorter boy looked up to find that Midoriya and their other classmates have finally reached them. Because Mineta was holding the magazine with its covers completely parallel to the ground, no one could see what this magazine was pretending to be. So without a word, Mineta folded the thing cover to cover as a smile spread across his face. He then proceeded to throw the fake magazine into the bag he was carrying, might as well figure out who left this sitting around.

"We're fine. But I can't say the same for our sanity though…"

And that has been chapter 17. Not my best work, but it was stupid enough of a concept and I just rolled with it. Leave a comment in the usual place about how this piece of filler made you feel.

"It was glorious..."

I see. Any how, I really don't have anything to say in this section so I guess I'll end it early.

"Yeah, I don't have anything else to add either... Guess it's your lucky day."

Guess the inspiration was pretty low today. But, with all that said...

Until Next Time. T1.