In candlelight,
As time unwinds,
I find myself,
Lost in your eyes.
Chapter 17. Had I Not Seen The Sun
A clown danced at the edge of my vision.
It was impossible to pin down. Looking at it caused it to disappear, and only when I looked straight ahead did I have a clear view of it.
It smiled and laughed and danced. Mocking me, with its jovial nature.
Had I gone insane? Did the time I spent alone, with nothing around me but the horrible all consuming darkness in the Stellaron Hunters' camp, wipe my sanity from me?
Or was it simply a manifestation of my guilt? My regret? My willingness to go behind the backs of the people that accepted me in, treated me to warm hospitality and let me walk in the light. My first hope in finding the way back.
But that didn't make sense. I didn't feel guilt nor regret about that. Maybe I should, and that was what the dancing clown was trying to tell me. Or maybe I had gone insane and was rambling to myself.
Who knew? Maybe the entire world had gone mad.
I looked at my hand, imagining threads emerging from my fingertips, and wrapping around the other. Memories of old pushed to the surface of my mind in an attempt to bring them into a bright bloom once more. Yet, even when the threads wrapped around me, I found that nothing I did caused them to blossom.
It was as if the threads refused to obey my will. My own threads, refusing my body. Even as I pulled, my memories remained underneath the water, shimmering just on the surface but unwilling to emerge.
I frowned. Although actually getting the strings of memories to appear was a slow and arduous process, one that seemed to be improving if ever slowly the more I did it, doing things with it came up barren.
But only on myself.
I had clearly succeeded with Stelle earlier. Whatever Kafka and Stelle did, they clearly understood something that I didn't.
If I tried to pull on March's missing memories, what would happen?
That was a thought best saved for later.
Diviner Fu Xuan was a petite woman. Her long pink hair fluttered prettily with the sea breeze and left me slightly enraptured at the sight.
She reminded me of a girl in high school. Her name was Bailey. She was my partner in acting, although she did choir. Her singing voice was leagues better than I could have ever hoped to achieve. Her shortness, combined with her stern nature, paralleled exactly with Fu Xuan.
I don't know what my feelings for Bailey were. Did I like her? Did I love her? Or was I just in love with the idea of her?
Looking back, I don't think it was any of them. I enjoyed her company like a good friend, an introvert and her extrovert. But I didn't want anything more. I was content with having someone who would pull me into situations I was too scared to do myself. Someone who would grab my hand after watching 'Shakespeare In Love' and we would skip back home.
Was I capable of love at all?
My ex of three years would say yes. That I loved her even if she couldn't tell what I was thinking most of the time. That the obsession, nigh bordering on insanity from the constant push and pulls and confusing signals would equal what people labeled as love. That the moments without anarchy, where we simply existed with one another, was also a form of love.
Everyone had their own definition of love, I wasn't sure of mine. But I wasn't sure if I was capable of loving someone at all. Not in the capacity that people wanted.
Attraction to someone notwithstanding, love was an entirely different beast. Did my attraction to people necessarily equate to me loving them? Or, as I had theorized for some time now, did my attraction to someone come from a deep seated desire to relate to someone beyond surface level? To feel like I belonged with them, to be understood in my entirety as a person despite all my flaws and incapability to feel things people normally did.
Sometimes my heart fluttered. But rarely did it go beyond that. Often my cheeks would light up, but rarely did it mean anything more than attraction. I could be left breathless, taken away in awe of someone's beauty, but never did it leave me… wishing for more.
Jealousy did, however. Jealousy made me wish for more.
To identify the emotion of 'happiness', isolate it and be able to pinpoint what made me happy was something that I still to this day was unable to grasp.
I don't think I was capable of love.
Was this what Zenith meant?
I clicked my tongue in annoyance. That thought that popped up soured my mood. Zenith knew nothing.
"What's got you staring at Diviner Fu Xuan so hard?" March asked, saddling up beside me as the rest of the crew and Xianzhou planned out what to do.
"She's pretty." I said simply.
March blinked at me. "Yeah, of course she is. But I've seen you stare at pretty girls and usually you don't look like you're trapped within your own mind. Usually you just stumble over yourself like a mess."
I pursed my lips. Just… what sort of opinion did March have of me, exactly?
"She reminds me of someone I once knew." I offered.
"Of a past lover or…"
I shook my head. "No, just a friend. I was never able to pinpoint my feelings about them, and seeing Fu Xuan look and act so similar got me thinking about it again."
March's mouth dropped open. "S-Seele? You like Seele!?" March all but shouted.
My brain stopped as I tried to recognize what March just said.
Seele? What-
Oh. Of course. March thought I was from Belobog, and Seele was similar enough to Fu Xuan in personality… maybe?
I face palmed. "No, March. Not Seele."
March paused and opened her mouth. "Ly-"
"No, not Lynx either. Or Natasha. Or Serval, or anyone from Belobog." I cut her off.
The pink haired archer frowned. "If they aren't from Belobog, then how do you know them?"
I grimaced. "It's… complicated. I don't feel like talking about this anymore. Do you know what the plan is for confronting Phantylia? I wasn't paying attention." I said, changing the topic.
March seemed confused, I couldn't blame her, but accepted the topic swap. "Well, not the entire plan. But essentially Jing Yuan, Dan Heng, me, Stelle and Welt will all venture down the… Scalegorge Waterscape… I think it's called, and then we'll beat her up, I guess?"
If this were a cartoon, I believe this would be the perfect moment to have a sweatdrop. As it was, I simply stared.
That was the plan? Go down and beat up an emanator? No, no. That couldn't be it. I… needed more information.
"And me?" I asked.
"And you, Young Miss, will stay here." Jing Yuan said, approaching us and cutting into our conversation.
I crossed my arms. "...And your reasoning is?"
March gave me a look as if I was missing something obvious. "Zenith, you're not a fighter. You'd get hurt, not to mention you just recovered from being kidnapped!"
I chewed on my lip. It was still sore from how raw I gnawed it during my kidnapping, but the rest that I got had most of the skin healed.
"I understand what you're saying but…" I trailed off, not having a rebuttal. What she was saying was true. It was only my emotions that wanted it to not be.
"I can't quite claim to know exactly what you're feeling. But I'm willing to guess that you probably want to feel useful in some capacity after everything that has happened to you." Jing Yuan said to me. "However Phantylia is no mere grunt. She is a lord ravager, and just being around her is deadly. The best course of action for you is to stay here."
I could read between the lines. "Because I'd be a burden if people had to protect me." I stated what he refused to.
Jing Yuan didn't seem surprised, instead he merely nodded. "Indeed." He agreed.
I took a deep breath. I was only a tiny bit unsettled that he could read through me, but… he was hundreds if not a thousand years old. I wasn't sure of the exact number, but I literally couldn't imagine someone being alive for so long.
"Yeah, I get it. I've sort of understood that from the start." I said, swallowing my pride. It wasn't that difficult to do in this case.
I wondered if this counted as front row seats. Kafka's hint left a nagging feeling on the back of my mind.
"It's unfortunate that I must offer greetings in a situation like this, as well as so late, but I'm Jing Yuan, general of the Xianzhou Luofu." Jing Yuan introduced himself to me suddenly.
I straightened myself out on reflex at the sudden introduction. It was out of nowhere, but he must have done so out of courtesy.
"I'm Zenith. Passenger of the Astral Express. Thank you-" I stuttered a bit. "-for, uh, your hospitality."
"Well met." Jing Yuan smiled. "As discourteous as it is, I must take Miss March from your conversation, as the mission will begin soon."
"Oh." So soon? "Sure. Yeah. Nice to meet you. And… good luck."
"Hopefully we won't need it." Jing Yuan said.
"Stay safe Zenith!" March said, turning to leave with the general.
I watched the rest of the Astral Express crew congregate together. A wisp of something dark reached up and licked my heart. It existed only for a second before I snuffed it out.
Distance was always such a hard thing to bridge. Emotions that lacked any logic made It even worse.
The group circled around a statue that looked eerily similar to Dan Heng in his new form. It had horns, exactly in the same place and manner as Dan Heng did. Even the hair and the spear were similar.
Could it be him? If Dan Heng was really a long lived species this entire time. Was this his past that he never shared?
Dan Heng did something to the statue that was laid before us. He twisted and turned, coalescing an orb of light into his palm as he lifted off the ground. Water swirled around him, accelerating into a near vortex. The orb he held exploded like a supernova, creating a beam of gold that ascended into the skies, shaking the ground and causing the water to ripple. Before my very eyes I witnessed the ocean itself split into two.
It defied all logic, everything that I had known for my entire life had a wrench thrown into it as I watched the very sea part, opening up to expose ruined structures and pathways. At the end of it all was the glowing visage of a dragon.
I found myself swallowing a gasp. This was Dan Heng? The stoic lancer who offered to teach me self-defense? He had the power to literally split the ocean?
The group spoke, and I found myself unable to hear anything. My entire focus was concentrated on the sight before me. It was like uncovering a path to Atlantis, but, in this case, it was the Ambrosial Arbor.
I couldn't wrap my mind around what exactly the Ambrosial Arbor was. The importance of it was unmistakable, but the true meaning of everything surrounding it eluded me.
But it put everything into perspective for me.
I was nothing but a speck in this entire scheme.
I was nobody.
I was just a single girl.
But even a single person could make a difference for the better.
The clown danced on the edge of my vision.
Hello, Zenith.
It whispered to me. Taunting me. My madness culminating into an object that only I could see.
Won't you follow them?
It said to me. Its grin was impossibly wide, stretching far past its cheeks.
"Be quiet."
I silenced the clown. I silenced my madness.
This was the result of me jumping head first into a new world. Was this the end of my sanity? Did I dive too far deep, and now I couldn't come back?
Maybe everything was a dream.
Take to the stage. It'll be fun!
The clown dancing at the edge of my vision whispered to me.
You won't want to miss when THEY appear after all.
Fu Xuan didn't pace.
She was calm, stalwart. A bastion of security for all her soldiers. I watched as the Cloud Knights fidgeted in place, their anxiety rising as time started to drag on, only to steady when they took note of Fu Xuan's composure.
In that regard, she was wholly unlike the girl from my past. Bailey was sometime who people looked up to, people who wished that one day they could be like her; but she was not a role model.
Nobody looked to her for support. For she would look down from her ivory tower and admonish people for not practicing as much. Not taking things as serious as she did.
The girl from my past would pace in anxiety. She would be reduced to nothing but just another student among the masses in times of distress.
It wasn't fair to compare the two, truthfully. I was projecting a ghost of my past onto someone in my present. Not to mention that Fu Xuan likely had a few hundred years of experience as an advantage.
Wandering my own thoughts was one way to keep my own anxiety at bay. Like a dam against the pressure, I mirrored Fu Xuan's composure and projected my own. I didn't move. I didn't twitch. If it weren't for the rise and fall of my breathing I'd likely be mistaken as dead.
There was nothing I could do. I understood this, knew this, was explicitly told this fact. Yet I continued to mull over it. Phantylia was on another level than anything I had experienced, not that I had much experience in the first place. Cocolia was someone who had abused the power of a Stellaron, but such power was only borrowed.
Was she truly trying to kill us? Perhaps, but a Lord Ravager… an emanator… their entire existence was based around destruction.
Knowledge was what it came down to, really. I could work with the group against Cocolia as I had knowledge of what's to come. But here and now, I was blind. With the Stellaron Hunters taking me for their own personal gain I lacked the information that one would normally have, even if I just researched things on my own.
My phone rang.
I knew who it would be. Only one person could call this phone.
"It's me." I said, accepting it.
"You're not going?" Silver Wolf asked me.
I frowned. "Going where?"
"To watch the show, of course."
It took me a few seconds to process what she meant. "No, of course not. I would just be a burden."
"Well, sure. But you should still go and watch it."
"...Are you saying this because you know something I don't?" I probed.
"No." I could practically hear Silver Wolf shake her head. "You know it too. Kafka told you."
"K-" I paused before I said the Stellaron Hunter's name. I was not in an area where I could do such a thing. "I was just told to get front row seats."
"And you have a seat that isn't even in the auditorium." Silver Wolf pointed out. "The rest of us are watching from different spots."
I took some time to think about everything. Why was Silver Wolf even calling me in the first place?
"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked her.
"Eh. You're pretty shit at games but it's clear you have a foundation of knowledge you're working on when it comes to them. It'd suck if I lost a gaming partner. I'm kind of lacking one after getting banned a few days ago." Silver Wolf admitted.
"Are you… implying that if I don't go… we'll lose?" I whispered the last part.
"Nope. From what I know, it doesn't matter at all if you go or not. You're just an extra, after all."
Then… something happens to ME?
"You're not just saying all this for some weird game are you?"
"Damn, you have trust issues. Guess I can't blame you after reading whatever the hell that was on your phone. No, I wouldn't waste the effort. If you need an opportunity, I can make one for you. Think of it as payment for the games yesterday."
"That was a wager though? I doubt I'll just be let down if I ask nicely."
"You yap too much. Do you want my help or not?"
"Will I be safe?"
"You're an audience member this time, Zenith. Go watch the show. I promise you that you'll be safe."
A promise from a hacker with a multi-billion dollar bounty. Who was part of a bigger criminal group that had likely caused destruction and mayhem to further their own unknown goals.
But did that necessarily mean she would lie?
Would they go through the effort of kidnapping me, extending an invitation and an opportunity to chase my own goals, just to lie to me now and kill me off?
What, exactly, was so important down there?
I thought back to Zenith. At how she had taken hold of her powers and abused it. How she had scorned me, looked down on me and spited me.
If I could get one step closer to her, to regaining my life back. I would do it.
Even if I had to create my own path to trailblaze through.
"I'll do it."
"Nice. Just sit tight and slip out when the opportunity comes. You'll know the signal." Silver Wolf said, before disconnecting the call.
I stared down at my phone as I steeled myself to my decision. Whatever was about to happen was clearly important enough that everyone in the Stellaron Hunters was anticipating. To me, if I had to equate it to more familiar terms, it was just a boss fight. It was reductive in how important it was, but it made it easy for me to understand.
But to others, it was life and death.
I waited, bringing my gaze back to Fu Xuan, only to jump as I realized she was staring at me. Her gaze was sharp and brought an entirely new set of nerves.
"Y-Yes?" I stuttered out.
Our positions were far enough away that we weren't necessarily face to face. She was stationed in front of the statue that Dan Heng used to manipulate the ocean, while I was off to the side leaning up against a stone wall.
Did she happen to overhear my conversation? I replayed my talk with Silver Wolf in my head, the only thing that could even be slightly incriminating was when I had to lower my voice.
"You're very calm." Fu Xuan pointed out, walking towards me. "Up until just now, at least."
"...Thank you?" I said. I wasn't quite sure what she wanted.
"I'm Master Diviner Fu Xuan." The woman who I already knew introduced herself. "I've heard reports about what transpired to you. I'd like to extend a formal apology from the Xianzhou to you for the events of the Stellaron Hunters that happened on our territory."
"Uh- I'm Zenith." I stuttered. I had no idea how to respond to such a thing, so I decided to be honest. "I don't really know how to respond to that. I'm not good with political things, but I'm not harmed, so please don't make too big of a fuss about it."
Fu Xuan nodded. "Your friends did their best to align the heavens with the earth in an attempt to divine your wellbeing while in the hands of treachery. Such efforts were ultimately inessential as the true nature was revealed by the perpetrator themselves."
I blinked. The cogs in my mind turned.
"Oh. Kafka said that?"
"Indeed. You have good friends."
"You're… very good at poetry."
Fu Xuan frowned. Did I say something strange?
"Thank you… I suppose. If you need anything, please say so. Although not my usual duty, I will give my best efforts to be courteous towards guests of the Xianzhou." The Master Diviner told me. She didn't seem to appreciate my compliment.
"Anything?" I raised my eyebrow.
"If you are attempting to desert our company to connect once again with your friends then I will have to stop you. You are not someone that should join in on such a fight." Fu Xuan stated.
I locked my jaw shut. Did she divine such a thing to know that? "Is that a threat?" I asked guardedly.
"No." Fu Xuan shook her head. "It's advice. I do not wish misfortune upon anyone, and I cannot guarantee your safety if you were to go ahead."
"If they lose, can you still guarantee it?" I asked, if only to play devil's advocate. I don't know what provoked me to prod unnecessarily, but I had already asked before I realized that such a thing was rude.
Fu Xuan was silent. "I hope that such an event does not come to pass. But I would seal the Arbor and evacuate you back to the Astral Express. Your safety as a guest is a priority."
I pursed my lips. "I'm sorry for asking such a thing. I… didn't think it through before I spoke."
"I can understand your worries. I did not take offense."
I was extremely hesitant to ask my next question, but she had already divined my intentions.
"...If I do slip out, would you hold it against the Express?"
"No. I do not know of your abilities, nor of your character. But from what I have gleaned in this conversation, you are a woman of conviction. Either you believe you have something to gain from joining the fight, or your care for your friends extends past your self-preservation." Fu Xuan stated matter of factly. "However I beseech you to recognize what your crew might think if you, the woman who was kidnapped by Stellaron Hunters and was only just retrieved a few system hours ago, willingly throw yourself back into the action without any real way to handle it."
I swallowed down a lump in my throat. I wanted to be helpful. I wanted to do something. I wanted to witness the battle with my own eyes. I wanted so many things.
That moment was when Silver Wolf's gift decided to show itself.
It was literally a gift. A big box that dropped from the sky as reality itself glitched, catching the attention of absolutely everyone. It landed on the back end of the statue, away from the entrance to the Gorge.
Fu Xuan was instantly on alert, diverting her attention from me and immediately barking orders to the Cloud Knights to be careful and approach it slowly. I stayed where I was, inching myself towards the entrance without being overtly obvious.
Surely that wasn't all, was it? A big giant gift wrapped box?
I waited where I was as the immediacy of alertness died down gradually and was replaced by caution. Fu Xuan ordered a reluctant Cloud Knight to open the box. They pulled on the big red ribbon slowly, while the rest of the platoon surrounded the box with their weapons at the ready.
When the tension of the ribbon finally gave way to slack, and the ribbon fell to the sides of the box, the top of the gift jumped up, before the sky was filled with what had to be hundreds of Cycranes.
They erupted from the box with a burst of momentum, propelling them into the air and filling the space with screeching of their metallic bodies. Flapping their artificial wings as they continued to rise, creating a tornado of cranes.
I only had a moment to be surprised before I took the opportunity and dashed down into the Scalegorge Waterscape.
Sorry, Fu Xuan. I doubted that I'd ever truly get a chance to know you, but I could tell that you were a good person.
However I refused to be held back by ghosts of my past.
The clown danced at the edge of my vision.
Hello, Zenith.
It whispered to me.
It's a bright red hat, a circus of colors that twisted and turned, flopped in front of its face as it let out a full belly laugh.
Bells chimed into my ear, ringing madness as I continued to descend.
Have fun, enjoy the show.
And don't forget.
Make sure to laugh.
Scalegorge Waterscape both looked and smelled like the depths of the ocean. The salty sea breeze bombarded my senses as I continued down the path of ruined rubble. Almost immediately I was met with stairs that collapsed into nothingness, a thick root of the arbor was instead used as a makeshift platform, one that nearly caused me to stumble off the side and into certain death as the angle suddenly steepend.
I hated heights so much.
When I got onto solid ground once more, no stairs nor tree roots, I fell to my knees and took a deep breath.
That singular moment of being high up in the air, with no sort of guarding or anything, was perhaps the single most scariest five seconds of my life.
I hadn't even really come close to falling off but my god I HATED heights.
The path ahead of me was blocked off by rubble, closing off a direct route towards the base of the Arbor. On the right of me was a broken bridge that was traversable only due to the fact that parts of the arbor had bloomed into it, forming a path of underwater mushroom looking steps. On my left was a fully intact stone road that seemed to extend forward past what I could reasonably see.
There was a light fog that permeated through the area. It likely came from the fact that this entire Gorge was between two waterfalls held open by only whatever whimsical magic that the Xianzhou had access to. It blurred off most of what I could see past… fifty or so feet.
But most of all, I could still see remnants of things moving on the left-hand side. A mara-stricken soldier, likely formed or manipulated to be here by Phantylia's access to the Arbor.
So onto the weird mushroom path it is. At least it was marginally shorter.
Stepping onto the right path was odd, the floor felt like soft wood after it had been soaked by heavy rainfall, and there were large stalagmites of coral jutting out from random points. It reminded me of cacti in a desert, the short, thin plants growing taller than they were wide.
On top of the oddities in terms of plant-life, there were also weird… orb, things that almost seemed to have glowing scales. Each of them were encased by large flower-like plants with the petals serving as a cushion for the sides. They were open at the top.
It almost reminded me of an egg… but that would be weird.
The path was much wider than I initially assumed from afar, I had almost no real chance of falling off if I just stuck to the middle unless there was some weird freak accident.
That being said, as soon as I stepped back onto solid stone and back onto the main path, I gasped in surprise as I saw something move overhead. It was a trail of fish that swam in mid-air. They were translucent and blue tinted, so I figured it was some type of echo left behind the Stellaron and the Arbor's influence. It was just like when I saw Cocolia and Bronya's echo back in Belobog.
Truthfully it was beautiful. I was hardly one to get sentimental or stay in one place too long outside of my designated spots where I could work in peace, but here? With the water falling by my sides, and echoes of fish swimming through the air?
Maybe, in another life, I would have taken the time to get lost in the sights and enjoy myself.
I pushed forward, taking note of the space anchor that was on the main pathway, looked directly ahead. I could see the great horns of the dragon in front of me. It glowed gold in the fog, illuminated by six great pillars that hosted green flames at the top of them.
And beneath the dragon, I saw faint glimpses of light. They came without pattern or rhyme, lighting up in the fog and revealing humanoid silhouettes behind it, as well as the shadow of something much, much bigger.
Heading straight forward was clearly where I needed to go, and so I started to walk once more. The path had a small section where the bridge's support had collapsed, causing the stone to be angled downward onto yet another Arbor root.
I swallowed down my nerves and pushed forward, almost jogging as gravity pulled down on me and forced me a bit faster as I took step after step.
The path veered off to the right for a small detour before I was once again back on the center road, with nothing but a straight path ahead of me that led to the roots of the Arbor. At this distance, I no longer needed the frequent flashes of light caused by fighting to see the large silhouette of what I could only assume was Phantylia.
The shadow was humanoid, and could almost be as tall as a building.
"Hahaha!" A feminine voice echoed throughout the entire Gorge. "The universe will end in Destruction, and with it, The Abundance and The Hunt will disappear as well…"
I watched as one of the great shadowy hands raised itself into the air, carrying a large paddle-like shape grasped within its fingers. It swiped through the air once, dispelling the fog that surrounded the fight and revealing everything to me.
Phantylia took on the shape of a human female, so great was she in size that she seemed to dwarf the height of her opponents by a factor of ten. Her skin was tinted purple, with blue eyes that seemed to drip with malice despite their jewel-like beauty. She was adorned with accessory after accessory, emphasizing and amplifying her looks.
I saw now that the item within her hand wasn't a paddle, but rather a fan.
My feet walked forward without my input. I almost felt like I was in a daze, but the only thing that went through my mind was that I needed to be closer. If something was going to happen, then I needed to be there to see it.
I descended down the stairs, finding myself finally on the same elevation as the rest of my crew. How deep had I descended into this Gorge?
Phantylia waved her fan once more, and I watched as flowers budded from nowhere on the battlefield. They sprouted, germinated and bloomed in a matter of seconds.
Not just with my friends, but also in front of me.
I stumbled back, falling backwards as the surprise got the better of me. The flowers in front of me were a different color than the ones that my friends had to deal with. Theirs were purple, tinted in the shade of lavender while the flowers before me were gray.
The flowers shook, their petals closed off to the world until they opened in one tight snap.
Two Antimatter Legion grunts fell from the two gray flowers in front of me. Their bodies fell to the ground in a lifeless heap, before they righted themselves almost like marionette dolls pulled by strings.
Their heads snapped towards me, and the blades attached to their arms gleamed with a dangerous golden glint.
Oh fuck.
I scrambled myself backwards and got back to my feet in a shaky mess. They took their time, stepping towards me one stride at a time, and I matched their pace. I didn't want to set them off, I had no doubts these things could run faster than me.
But what could I do? I wasn't a fighter. I was literally useless in a fight.
Fuck.
Didn't Silver Wolf promise my safety? Was that just a lie? Were they really just trying to get rid of me this entire time? Was this an elaborate scheme to get rid of me and blame it on Phantylia?
No… Silver Wolf didn't seem like that type of person.
But what did I know about criminals?
Something glinted overhead.
The Antimatter Reavers pushed towards me in one leap. I dodged by throwing myself to the side, getting dangerously close to an edge, and quickly righting myself. Both my knees and arms hurt from such a maneuver.
I refused to die here. I didn't give a shit about fate, or destiny, or whatever the hell people wanted to call it. I didn't care about who I had to team up with, who I had to make happy, who I had to work together with. But I was not going to die TODAY!
One of the reavers dashed towards me, causing my heart to practically stop in its tracks. My body, on the other hand, moved before I could even process. I ducked under its armblade, and stumbled onto the stairs. The other one used that opportunity to to press the attack.
I practically jumped up several steps of the stairs as the blade sheathed itself into concrete, just barely missing my feet as I continued to ascend as fast I physically could. It swung at me with its other hand, but was ultimately stuck in place. That gave me a second to breathe before the first one regrouped and matched my pace.
It couldn't have been more than a few seconds of combat, but I was already starting to feel winded.
Something primal awoke in me, that if I wanted to survive I likely would have to find a way to get rid of them. And as the Reaver took its last step up the stairs, I kicked it like one would a soccer ball, as hard as I could in the torso.
Pain lanced up my leg as the sudden realization that it was a lot tougher than it looked to be hit me. My other knee crumbled as my entire body flinched, and I fell onto my side for the third time in less than a minute.
My leg felt numb as adrenaline rushed into my body and flooded my senses, but I only had a moment to scramble myself away before it thrust another armblade at me. It barely nicked my thigh, but I could feel the slice carve away at my skin.
"FUCK!" I screamed, pushing myself up and doing my best to get away.
I was given a second of reprieve as I watched as the two Reaver's reconnected with each other, likely going for a coordinated assault to end me.
My leg was busted and bleeding, my attacks did nothing. Was this the difference between a regular person like me and beings literally created to destroy? Simple foot soldiers created not even ten minutes ago.
Why did I come down here? Why why why why did they tell me to? WHY WAS I STUCK HERE?
I watched the two tense and begin their sprint towards me, they would cross the distance that I created in just a few moments, and do their best to end me.
Death would not come for me today.
My veins flooded with ice as I took a deep breath.
I snarled, my face contorting into an ugly sight, and I wrapped threads of my worst, most horrific memories around my hands. It came to me easily, like the worst parts of me were begging to be called upon. Maybe if I could just get my hands on these two reavers, I could influence what they felt.
They took one step towards me, then another. I tensed myself and focused everything I had on their weapons and-
A meteor crashed into the ground in front of me, exploding everything in a sea of flames. The Antimatter Reavers disintegrated into nothingness as a suit of armor tore into them in half a second.
Sam had appeared.
And I could not look away.
The clown danced along the flames. It smiled at me, as if it knew each and every thought that I had. As if it knew my life and beyond.
Goodbye, Zenith.
It said to me, but I could not hear it.
The clown then disappeared from my sight, no longer in the edge of my vision.
In the light of flames.
Time moved forward.
And I found myself.
Lost in their movements.
I watched as four more flowers bloomed and spawned in even more reavers. Each one was taken care of in mere seconds by the flaming suit of armor before me. One of them was punched in the stomach, a burst of light erupting from Sam's hands before it evaporated them. Another was knocked over the head by the taller mechanical suit, before being pierced by a glowing green sword. The third was beheaded in the same movement and the last…
Sam took their hand and pierced it through the Reaver's chest. Entering the cavity and pulling out a black organ that oozed. The mechanical suit crushed it in their hand.
"I'm sorry, Zenith." Sam said to me, their mechanical tone removing any and all nuance from their voice.
Maybe if I was someone else, I would have found myself disgusted by such actions. The brutality would have had me retching and I wouldn't have been able to watch.
But I found myself transfixed. I couldn't look away. Each movement was graceful, beautiful. Not a single action was wasted. It looked like an ephemeral dance, where one kill flowed into another, like they were killing to the music in their own head.
"Sam." I spoke, without even truly meaning to.
What could I say?
Why were you here?
Did you have to kill them like that?
Did Silver Wolf Send you?
Why did you apologize?
"Thank you." I said instead.
For each and every time I had interacted with the mechanical person twice my height, I found myself irritated. Annoyed, or just another thing that made me wary. But this time…
I wasn't sure what I felt. I just wanted to know more about them. Where did they learn such things? Why did they act so familiar at the start of our interactions? Who… were they beyond the suit? Was there really someone behind it?
My legs gave out as my adrenaline started to fade. I panted heavily on my knees, my entire vision swam as I struggled to get myself under control. Had I ever truly been in such a situation before in my entire life? Even with Cocolia I was able to keep myself calm, but here…
"You're bleeding." Sam said simply.
I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up. Maybe there wasn't someone in that suit. They repeated the same things in exactly the same way.
"Yeah. I am." I chuckled. "Can you help me up?"
Sam took a single step towards me, only to duck as a beam of light shot over their head. A woman with beautiful locks of red hair stepped onto the scene, her usually warm hazel eyes were set in a determined glare and in her hand was a robotic mechanism.
It took my brain a few beats to even realize what exactly it was that I was seeing. That one of the people I least expected had shown up before my very eyes.
Not just once, with Sam. But twice, with Himeko.
"Step away from my crew member. Molten Knight." Himeko said in the most vicious tone I had ever heard from her.
The gravity of the situation caused me to pale. Had Himeko seen anything? Did she see me ask for help? What about if she saw Sam save me? Wait- How was she here? Who was watching the Express? What-
"Save your thinking for later, Zenith." Himeko chided me, as if she could read my mind. "You're safe. Can you walk?"
"Himeko. Navigator of the Express." Sam stated. Their armor flared once with flames.
My legs felt paralyzed, and no matter how much I tried to move, I found myself stunned into silence at the situation.
In the background, I recognized the fighting still going on against Phantylia.
"I… can't." I admitted out loud.
Even if I was gradually getting feeling back in my left leg the other was still numb. I wondered if I broke anything, as it felt like I had kicked a bricked wall. Not to mention the not so tiny slice that they carved out of my thigh.
Fuck, maybe it was a good thing I couldn't feel it.
Neither of them acknowledged me outwardly, but Himeko started to take steps towards me. She still had the mechanism in her arms that looked suspiciously like a cannon aimed at Sam.
Sam watched Himeko, it was different from when they watched me. I wasn't sure how I could tell, but there was a very clear tension between the two. As if any sudden movement could cause both of them to break out in a fight.
"Don't fight." I pleaded.
Neither of them acknowledged me, but Himeko spoke up when she reached me. She wrapped and arm around me, and pulled me up easily. I was surprised at how physically strong she was.
"What is your intention with the Express?" Himeko spoke to Sam.
"...I simply saw someone in danger and decided to step in." Sam replied.
Himeko was silent for a few moments, as if trying to gauge the truth by analyzing their voice. A difficult endeavor, if the mechanized tone was anything to go by.
"...Thank you, then. However, I would be foolish to trust a Stellaron Hunter. If your business is done, then leave us so I can help Zenith."
Sam shook their head. "Unfortunately the show has yet to conclude."
The two paused their conversations as six more flowers bloomed in our surroundings. Antimatter reavers stepped out and were subsequently decimated in seconds by both Himeko and Sam. Himeko's mechanism on her arm transformed into a saw that shred through three of them in seconds, while Sam continued their usual brutality and crushed the enemies immediately.
It was a sight to behold, to see the two of them react on the flip of a switch and get rid of the sudden enemies in a flash and then go back to their standoff.
"And what, exactly, are the Stellaron Hunters hoping will happen?" Himeko continued her questioning.
I detached myself from the conversation as I realized the clown had come back. It danced on the edge of my vision and laughed.
"They said… that THEY will appear." I muttered to Himeko.
Himeko paled, as if she had somehow deciphered what I meant in an instant despite the fact that I still had yet to recognize what such a hint was.
"Which one?" Himeko asked me, before seemingly recognizing that I didn't have an answer. "Which one will appear, Molten Knight?!"
It twirled and danced, laughing at the edge before walking to my center vision.
Himeko faltered from beside me. Sam didn't answer just yet.
The clown smiled at the center of my vision.
"...Wait." Something occurred to me. I spoke up. "Can either of you… see it as well?"
Both of them snapped their face towards me, and then a great laugh permeated throughout the gorge.
"Hahahahahahaha!"
The clown disappeared from my vision. A laugh echoed across the land. It was the very same laugh that I had been hearing this entire time. From the very same clown.
Bells chimed and laughter continued.
"You!" The three of us heard Phantylia bellow. "You wretched clown! Does the Elation find me so entertaining? Come down and I will rip you to shreds!"
"The Elation?!" Himeko hissed. "Are you Stellaron Hunters insane?! Depending on what they find entertaining they could blow up the entire Xianzhou!"
"Not them." Sam replied. "They're just here to provoke Phantylia. They won't do anything else."
"You're confident. Do you trust Destiny's Slave so much that you believe they can predict the whims of an Aeon?"
"To predict the Elation would be to predict the natural chaos of the universe as a whole. But no, the Elation is only observing, just as we are."
The Elation… that was… Aha. The Aeon that did anything and everything so long as it found it entertaining. The Aeon that believed in and embodied laughter.
So that… was the clown dancing at the edge of my vision this entire time?
"...Then who?" Himeko said.
"Heh! If you want to watch, clown. Then be my guest. Watch as I crush these heroes before your very eyes." Phantylia's voice permeated through the Gorge.
The three of us watched Phantylia fight off against our friends.
I watched as everything in the world seemed to coalesce into one point, as if I was sucked into some cosmic void that thrust my consciousness into the universe itself. I watched as Phantylia, larger than a planet, crushed it with just her hand.
I gasped as my consciousness was thrust back into myself. Whatever that was, was clearly an attack from the Emanator. If I had felt like that just from observing, I could only hope that my friends were still alive.
"Phantylia is still playing around." Sam stated. "That will be her downfall."
Himeko stayed silent, her eyes focused on the Crew. I could tell she was worried.
The three of us continued to watch the fight unfold. How the crew regrouped after such an attack, how they fought back and defeated any sort of flowers that bloomed upon their battlefield.
There was a moment when Phantylia picked up Jing Yuan. Himeko nearly started to move, but was stopped by Sam.
I wasn't sure what Himeko was going to do, or if she was going to try some sort of orbital strike like she had done back with Cocolia, or even why she stopped and trusted Sam. But as it was, Himeko stood down.
Dan Heng, in all his new draconic visage, launched an attack straight at Jing Yuan. I didn't understand the dynamic behind it at all, but it seemed to do great damage to Phantylia.
In fact, that almost seemed to be the end of the fight. Phantylia slumped over to the ground, and it didn't seem like she was getting back up. Himeko had untensed, and even seemed to be relieved.
But…
Why was Sam's still tense?
And then I felt the gaze of Destruction upon me.
And I coughed out blood as my heart stopped.
"This is your punishment." Messenger said, placing their hands on me. "You manipulated the memories of someone who had been brought back from beyond death."
I fell to the ground as all my strength left me. My chest ached and every breath felt like agony.
THEIR gaze felt as if everything had spontaneously combusted inside of me. As if my very being had disintegrated from a molecular level and left me as nothing but the shape of a human.
"It agitates your every injury. Your body goes into overdrive as it attempts to heal, only to destroy itself by attacking its own cells. It's like cancer." The Memokeeper continued.
Himeko had long since recovered from the surprise and was doing her best to keep me stable. She had shoved some sort of medicine inside my mouth as I did my best to keep conscious.
"It roughly translates to Aeonic hypersensitivity in your language. You won't have reactions like this with every Aeon. Just the malevolent ones."
"Why…" I croaked.
"Shh… Don't talk. Nanook's gaze affects everyone differently, but never have I seen such a violent reaction." Himeko whispered to me.
"Why am I here? To let you know that you will live. This isn't your end. You need to know that this is not a punishment any one person, entity or Aeon doled out. This is a result of mixing your memetic material with someone who's 'strings' have been contaminated by death. If you were a memokeeper, you would no longer exist." Messenger explained.
But… then how did she interact with Stelle?
"I and any other memokeeper that has and will come into contact with the Stellaron host will never dive past a certain point. It's poison. While I'm not sure if that Stellaron Hunter was sure of the repercussions, I would not put it past Destiny's Slave to have foreseen this."
I was… set up?
"That is not something I have the answer to. Be ready, Zenith. Phantylia has gotten her second wind."
"It will not last long." Sam said, almost as if they could hear the Memokeeper beside me.
With Nanook's gaze, came a growth of power in Phantylia. She seemed bigger, stronger, and it was as if all of the Crew's previous efforts were for naught.
"Hahaha…. HAHAHAHAH! Now I understand why you are here, clown. This truly is an entertaining fight! I have withstood your gaze, Nanook. I understand your wishes. I shall eliminate these pests here and now!" Phantylia roared.
"Ahahaha!" The Elation laughed.
Her skin was a bright gold and had tattoo-like lines across her body that literally glowed. She waved her fan and hundreds, if not thousands of flowers spawned on the battlefield. Each of them were different. Some spawned the Antimatter Legion. Others spawned Mara-struck soldiers. I couldn't even tell every single creature that emerged, but it was a miniature army that was before me.
And the only thing that stood between her and us was my friends and one bridge.
Himeko clenched her teeth and shot out an arm. A beam descended from space and did its best to chip away at the army, but it was ultimately futile as only more monsters took their place.
A great being of crystal shimmered into existence. It reflected a bright spectrum of colors off its humanoid body.
I felt every single memory in my life pass me by in one singular moment. As if I had relieved my life once more, from the start until now. Even moments that I had forgotten flourished into existence, as if revived by the presence of THEM.
I knew who they were. How could I not?
My powers were from them.
Fuli, The Remembrance.
And their gaze was firmly planted on Phantylia.
Everyone was stunned. The emergence of an honest to god Aeon had paralyzed everyone into silence. Even Phantylia had ceased her boasting. It was as if everyone's minds had connected into one the moment they appeared, and awe was the only thing we could feel.
"They really appeared…" Sam said, surprise evident in their voice despite the filter.
"You… knew Fuli would appear?" Himeko muttered, her eyes were wide, as if she couldn't believe her own vision.
"It was just a possibility…" Sam shared, perhaps more than they wanted to. "But they're here to witness the death of an Emanator."
To witness the death… of Phantylia?
"Even The Remembrance is here to witness my victory! Hahaha! Truly I am blessed! Now, etch this moment into the cosmos Fuli, as I extinguish the Astral Express and collapse the Xianzhou! Watch, as I become a GOD-"
Phantylia cut off as her face twisted suddenly.
Two things happened at once.
Firstly, the presence of yet another Aeon made itself apparent. For a single second I felt my eyesight sharpen and my focus deepen. What before was too much to see, felt as if I had put on a pair of the world's strongest binoculars. I could see the individual strands of March's pink hair, or the tensing of Stelle's muscles, how she seemed alarmed and reacted within a fraction of a second.
Secondly, Stelle immediately did something with the Lance of Preservation. She jumped into the air, twisted the lance and projected a great shield of petals in front of her. Seven layers of defense appeared as tall and wide as the Gorge itself.
"You dare interfere?! Nanook will not forget this Lan-" Phantylia raged, only to be cut off as a great arrow descended upon her with a speed faster than sound.
It was like a great big bomb had gone off. The ground itself shook and a great gust of wind swept through the place, causing my black hair to be blown back as if I was in the way of a gigantic fan. Debris rocketed into the sky, past the waterfalls and causing everything to be clouded in rubble.
I heard the distinct sound of three different layers of glass shattering, but even that was drowned out by how loud the vicious winds were. I coughed violently, rendering myself dizzy yet again. Himeko was coughing alongside me, and Sam had a mechanical arm in front of their face.
"Four Aeons… I will not forget such an event." I heard Sam mutter to themselves.
It was difficult to even keep my eyes open with how much debris clouded the area. Anytime I kept them open for longer than a few seconds I found them irritated and watering.
"What monstrous strength." Himeko coughed. "Zenith, Are you alright?"
"Yes." I wheezed out.
The dust eventually settled and I could open my eyes once more. It was just in time to see four pink petal-like shields disappear from the gorge.
I couldn't see Fuli anymore either, so they must have disappeared after the explosion. Something about them… caused some things to click in place. But I didn't have much of a chance to think about that as my gaze finally fell to Phantylia.
Or what remained of them.
There was a cavernous hole in her chest, right where a heart would be if she were human. Golden ichor oozed out from the wound, thick like tar.
"Lan's arrow… But only a tiny fraction of its true power.." Himeko thought out loud.
Lan. The name slot into place alongside its domain. The Hunt. An Aeon fired an arrow into our battle? THAT was considered powered down? It struck a hole straight through an emanator, even when Nanook gave her a second wind.
The mere scale of what I just witnessed boggled my mind. I couldn't even find an equivalent from back home. A nuclear bomb? But it was in no way similar to what I imagined was possible if Lan had fired anything even remotely more powerful.
Could they cleave an entire planet in half with their arrow? What… what else was possible?
I felt sick just thinking about the possibilities.
"This battle is over. I shall be taking my leave." Sam spoke, their mechanical tone penetrating the gap in conversation. It attracted both Himeko and I's attention.
Bright wings of flame extended from their back and they soared off into the sky. It reminded me exactly of how they departed when I was in the Stellaron Hunter's secret base. Their visage glinted throughout the air, smaller and smaller until they became a second sun, and eventually they disappeared altogether.
"We…" I faltered, not quite sure what to say. "We should check out the Crew and make sure they're alright."
Himeko nodded, and the mechanism she had on her shifted gears and turned into a briefcase. She wrapped an arm around me and practically pulled me up in one hand. Together, with Himeko's help, I limped down the stairs and towards the bridge, reconnecting with the rest of the Astral Express.
We got there in time to see Phantylia's body fade into nothing, leaving behind a glowing orb that Jing Yuan stabbed with his weapon, before it too faded.
I recalled vaguely how everyone explained that Phantylia was a… Heliobus…? A spirit that could possess people and bodies. My understanding of spirits, from home at least, was that they were immaterial and as such couldn't be harmed by physical weapons or the like.
But Jing Yuan had gotten rid of it just like that. Whether or not it was because he or his weapon was special, or something about my understanding of spirits didn't line up with this world, ultimately didn't matter. I could tell that Phantylia's presence had disappeared for good.
I thought back to everything that I had been through. At how nothing I did mattered, and everything solved itself with or without my involvement. I thought back to what the Stellaron Hunters said, what they promised, and how they were right.
Seeing everything, having front row seats, understanding and recognizing the vastness of the universe that I now lived in. It had changed my perspective yet again.
I thought about the three suns that I knew.
About Stelle, her mysterious past and powers that she pulled out from nowhere. At how she was so deeply connected with everyone she met. The Stellaron hosted inside of her, how everything seemed to revolve in one way or another around her.
About Himeko, the navigator of the Astral Express. The woman with hair the color of a blazing fire. Her kindness, willingness to go out of her way to make people feel accepted. How she always seemed to pick things up three steps before anyone else. How she willingly came down to help me.
About Sam, the person I knew the least about. How they kidnapped me, let things slip, almost seemed… awkward in their interactions. How we got off to a terrible start, only for them to come in at the most unexpected time and turn my opinion of them on its head. I still didn't like them, but I couldn't ignore their contribution to my survival.
I let out a deep breath.
But I could think about such things later. For now, it was time to rest.
That was how the hectic journey of me on the Xianzhou came to a close.
I just hoped that our next destination was a smooth one.
Start: June 20th. 2024.
End: June 27th. 2024.
Words: 9784
This is a whopping 10k words for a single chapter. I hope you enjoy. Think of this as a gift for sticking around and also to make up for the fact that I will probably be very busy since Dawntrail is releasing. With this we are (almost) done with the Xianzhou, there really is only one chapter left and that's just to wrap things up.
Think of this as the end of Arc 2. Clocking in at around 50k words in total.