Day 4. Compose

2 years later

Riza

After my sweet 16 party, my parents scolded me strongly for my "bad behavior" in front of the guests and especially in front of Frank. When I told them that he had tried to forcefully kiss me, they downplayed it by telling me that we were at the dating age so it was normal for us to kiss especially considering that he would become my husband when I finished school. Puff, my husband, yeah right. That night I had definitely made the decision to own my own life once I became independent from my parents.

It had been a little over 2 years since then, and a few things had changed. Because my parents had become upset about my closeness with Roy, we were no longer able to spend the same amount of time together much to our regret. Trips to my grandparents' house were also limited, but every opportunity we had to spend together we enjoyed to the fullest.

I inhaled deeply and began to play the keys of the piano in front of me, enjoying every note that led me to remember one of the best moments of my life, but also one of the saddest. It had happened a few months ago, the day I left my home and my country to study my university career. Roy had been accepted with a scholarship at the University of Central, just as he had wished and worked for. I wanted to go to the same university as Roy, but my parents gave me no choice and sent me here, to Aerugo, to what was supposed to be the best university, regardless of my pleading and begging.

Shortly before leaving, Roy and I were able to say goodbye and it was a very special but also painful moment...

"I'm going to miss you so much, Roy." I told him sadly.

He tried to smile but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "With everything and idiocies?"

I laughed lightly, he was doing his best to make this moment the least awkward. "With everything and idiocies."

"I'm going to miss you a lot too, Riza. Please take good care of yourself."

"You too, Roy..." I extended my right hand with a clenched fist. "I want to give this to you."

He gave me a confused look as I took from my hand the chain with an R-shaped charm I had bought for him, one that matched the one he had given me a couple of years ago and still to this day still wore.

"Riza-" He looked me in the eye.

I took my charm in my hand. "Just like you gave me a beautiful charm on my birthday, I wanted you to have one to remember me by, because whenever I see my charm, I remember my best friend." I told him as I blushed slightly.

Roy really smiled this time. He placed the chain with the charm around his neck. "Thank you so much, Riza. I'll always carry it with me."

And before I could say anything, he hugged me and I immediately returned the gesture.

"I know you don't have to, but promise me you'll try really hard in college. You're so smart and determined, you deserve so much better than to be taking care of difficult and horrible people." I told him without pulling away from the hug.

"I promise and you promise me that you won't let your parents turn you into one of them. Just keep being yourself."

I laughed lightly. "I promise, I won't be like them." I pulled slightly away from the hug and looked into his eyes. In his black orbs there was sadness as in mine but there was also a lot of affection and maybe something else? Without knowing who was the first to do it, we both moved closer to each other, closed our eyes and kissed each other on the lips. It was my first kiss and because of the fearfulness of the move on my part and Roy's, I wanted to believe it was his first. It was tender and magical, as we were about to finish it, I wrapped my arms around his neck and continued kissing him trying to convey how much I loved him and how much I was going to miss him. My heart swelled with joy as I felt him reciprocate the kiss and hug me tightly. We parted slightly as oxygen became scarce. He placed his forehead on mine without letting go of my embrace, we looked into each other's eyes and I could tell that we did indeed both love each other.

"I'd like to tell you that I'm sorry I kissed you but the truth is I'm not." He said smiling at me.

Unable to help myself I caressed his cheek. "I'm not sorry either, and if I hadn't wanted you to kiss me you'd already be on the floor regretting being born."

We both laughed. "You're absolutely right."

My cheerful expression changed to a sad one. "I'm sorry that because of my parents we couldn't have this moment sooner."

Roy shook his head. "It doesn't matter. None of that matters right now."

"What are we going to do? There's no longer any doubt about how we feel about each other."

Roy's expression saddened as well. "I'm afraid we'll have to do what we've been doing all these years. Bury our feelings and get on with our lives."

I buried my face in his chest and tightened my embrace. It was the logical, proper thing to do, but my heart didn't want to accept it, not now that I had confirmed that the boy I'd been in love with for so long felt the same way about me.

"There has to be another option." I told him.

I felt him kiss my forehead. "I wish there was, but we both know there isn't. It's best for both of us." He told me sadly. I pulled away slightly to look into his eyes, they were sad like mine, and we were even both holding back tears.

"Maybe it's the best thing rationally speaking, but what about our feelings?"

"I'm so sorry, Riza. Believe me, what I would love most is to have a relationship with you, I really would, but my actions would not only affect me, but you and my aunt, and that wouldn't be fair. Besides, nothing guarantees me that one day I can be as rich as your parents so that they will consider me worthy of you. I will strive to make a better life for my aunt and me than we have now but it is not certain that I can compete with your parents' wealth."

I understood the dilemma Roy was in and it wasn't fair for me to put him between a rock and a hard place. "I understand, it's not fair to drag your aunt into a mess because of us...what I do want you to know is that I never cared and never will care about someone's wealth, I'd rather focus on the person than their wealth."

"I know."

"When I am independent I will detach myself from my parents, take control of my life and maybe if you have no commitments we can have a relationship." I told him fearfully.

He stroked my cheek. "I'd like to, but I don't want you fighting with your parents because of me either."

"They brought this on themselves. Besides it's something I want to do because I want my own life and happiness, not what my parents impose on me."

"Let's not decide anything now, let's let time pass and decide what happens."

I sighed. "Fine, but at least tell me we can still be friends."

"I wouldn't expect anything less. You have my number, whenever you need me even if it's from a distance I'll be there for you."

"You can always count on me too."

He nodded.

"Riza, dear, your parents are getting in the car, you'd better hurry." We heard my grandmother say to us in the distance. We had decided to say goodbye at my grandparents' house because at my house there would be no way to do it with my parents hanging around.

"I'll be right there, thank you, Grandma."

I looked at Roy and couldn't stop a couple of tears from escaping me. Just as I was about to ask him for one last kiss, he surprised me by leaning over and kissing me tenderly.

"Take care of yourself, Riza." Roy said to me as a couple of tears escaped him.

I hugged him tightly one last time. "You too, Roy. We'll be in touch."

I wiped my tears, looked at Roy one last time who did his best to say goodbye with a smile, which I reciprocated even though we were both hurting inside.

"Goodbye, Riza."

"No, it's a see you soon, Roy."

He smiled slightly. "See you soon, Riza."

"Hey, Riz, hey...that song is really pretty, what's it called?" My friend Becky, with whom I shared an apartment, came in and pulled me out of my train of thought.

"Oh, this is more of a melody of sorts. Roy and I composed it one day when we were playing together at my grandparents' house." I said smiling slightly.

"Well it didn't sound bad at all, maybe you even got the wrong career." She said jokingly.

"Maybe."

Becky sat down next to me and looked at me carefully. "What's the matter? Oh wait, you were thinking about Roy, weren't you?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I was thinking about our goodbye."

"Oh, Riz." She hugged me. "You keep texting and talking to him from time to time, you'll see that when you least expect it you'll have become independent from your parents and can go for your beau." She said trying to cheer me up.

"I know, but I can't help but think that as the years go by and the distance goes by he might forget about me or maybe his feelings will change."

"Riz, for a couple of years now, I've been telling you that he looked at you in a unique and special way. I have a feeling that won't change."

"I hope so, Becky, because I really don't think I can get him out of my heart. Although, if I'm being honest, I'm scared. I can't deny that he's a handsome boy so I have no doubt he'll have several admirers at college and maybe he could fall in love with one of them."

"Just like you might fall in love with some boy here because you are so pretty, that's what I think Roy must be thinking. Come on, enjoy the moment and let time and your decisions fall into place. You'll see it will all work out in the end."

"I hope so. Thank you, friend." I said as I hugged her.

"Good, now I want you to show me that composition you did with Roy."

I smiled. "Okay."