Chapter 16 Cultural Differences

Michael opened the door, and Mario noticed him let out a breath and smile when he did. He turned on the light, and the twins looked ready to take off like rockets and barge through the house. Opal held them back from that, allowing Michael to turn to Mario with a prideful sparkle in his eye.

"Well, Mr. Mario. Are you ready to see the house of your average koopa?"

Mario nodded, hoping that whatever lay on the other side of the door wouldn't be too out there or terrible. Michael gestured for him to enter. He did, blinking at the sight. There was a couch, there was a rug, there was a light stand…

"This just looks normal."

All four of the Goldleafs laughed. "Well, that's the thing," said Michael. "We're just your normal, everyday family." His eyes glittered again. "Hence I said are you ready to see the house of your average koopa."

Mario nodded. He didn't know if he should be relieved or taken aback by how unextraordinary the Goldleaf's house was. It wasn't at all what he expected; the only living space typically occupied by a Koopa that he has been to was Bowser's Castle, of course. And… well, maybe it was stupid to expect every koopa house to resemble that. Maybe it was foolish to set his expectations so ridiculously high that it would hurt when it came crashing back down.

So, he stepped into the house, with the Goldleafs filtering in one after the other. Mario mostly kept his sights on the couch, only realizing that he was exhausted out of his mind as he approached it. Maybe he still needed to recover or maybe he had drained his energy by walking across the Koopa Kingdom, he didn't know. Either way, he would love to grace the Goldleaf's couch with his presence.

"May i?" he asked while pointing to the couch.

"Of course!" Opal said. Smiling at her, Mario took a seat on the couch. He breathed a sigh of relief, the feel of the cushions under his bottom a welcome sensation. He decided to lean back and make himself even more comfortable. Unfortunately, his shell got in the way. Because of this, he had no choice but to sit completely upright.

"Man," he uttered aloud. He looked at the twins, who had taken seats on either side of him. "How in the world do you guys do anything with these huge shells in your way?"

Adam laughed. "They're not that big."

"What are you talking about? They're the size of dump trucks!" Mario shook his head as the twins laughed. "It's like I've turned into Atlas."

Gabby blinked. "Who's Atlas?"

Mario blinked before chuckling. "Well, Atlas is this figure in the mythology of one of the countries in my home world." The twins, interest brimming in their eyes, scooted closer as Mario explained. "He's this thing called a Titan, and he was tasked with holding up the sky as some form of punishment."

Gabby's eyes grew wide. "The whole sky?"

"Yep. The whole sky."

Both twins exchanged looks as Gabby put her head in her hands. "Man. He must drink more protein shakes than I can count to be that strong."

Mario laughed. "Yeah, well… he's not real. He's just someone from made-up stories." He smiled. "Still though, it is interesting to learn about him."

"I'll say," said Opal. Mario and the twins blinked, turning toward her as she sauntered into the room. "I find it interesting that your world has mythologies. Our world does too."

"Oh really?" Mario asked as he crossed his legs. "Do tell?"

Opal smirked. "Well, there was this one story that I heard when I grew up, a story that is part of Koopa Kingdom mythology." She took a seat on the couch. "It talks about the birth of King Cosmo the Great, the first Koopa King."

"Oh, that's a good one!" said Adam, grinning from ear to ear. "We read about that one every year during Koopsmas!"

"Yep." Opal looked at Mario. "To summarize, King Cosmo's mother went on a quest to find out who would be fit to be the first ruler of the Koopa Kingdom. She ran across a mythical figure who led her to the city of Frostwall. She brought Cosmo's egg, but because of the cold, he hatched as a stillborn." Opal's glee became more and more noticeable. "But the mythical figure kissed him, which brought him back to life. She then anointed him the ruler of the Koopa Kingdom."

A silence lingered in the air. "Wow," Mario said, finding that he was more interested in this story than he could've possibly predicted. "That's pretty cool." He chuckled. "Of course, my story of Atlas is pure fiction. Given how there's magic in this world, it's completely possible that the story of King Cosmo's birth actually happened."

"Oh, it did!" Opal said. "It actually did. At least, that's what Koopa children are taught in schools." She chuckled. "It's the reason why we established the holiday of Koopsmas, which we celebrate every year." She looked at Mario. "You've heard about Koopsmas, right Mario?"

"Uh…" Mario shook his head. "Can't say I have."

"Ooh! Well, maybe in the future, you could celebrate it with us!" Adam said, bouncing up and down in his seat. "It's about four months away, so when the day comes, you can show up at our house and we can show you how we celebrate it."

Mario laughed. "That would be cool. Of course, I plan to be human again before that point, and it might be weird for me to walk around the kingdom of my arch-enemy in my true form."

"Oh come on!" Adam threw his hands up into the air. "That's not a valid excuse! You need to celebrate Koopsmas with us! It's such a special day!"

"Yeah!" said Gabby. "If you don't get a chance to celebrate Koopsmas with us… well, it'd make us really sad!"

Mario didn't know whether to giggle or feel bad because of those words. "Aww." He scooted closer to Gabby. "Well, I'll tell you what kiddos." He looked over at Adam. "If I get the chance and if I remember, I will come to your house in four months so I can celebrate Koopsmas with you."

Adam grinned while Gabby giggled. "We'd really like that," said Adam. "Thank you, Mr. Mario."

"It was my pleasure." Mario tried leaning back again, but once again became aware of the shell on his back. He sat back up, holding back a frustrated groan. "Darn it, this stupid shell is a nuisance."

"Eh. Yeah, I can see why you would think that," said Opal. She put her hand to her chin. "Kind of makes me wonder what it's like not to have a shell." She looked over at Mario. "That's something that's always fascinated me about humans if I'm being honest. We koopas use our shells for protection and as storage compartments. Humans don't have that." She gave Mario a look caught between interested and puzzled. "How do you even manage without that stuff? It seems like a very inconvenient way to live."

"Hmm." Admittedly, Mario's interest was piqued by that statement. "I never really thought about it that way." He leaned forward. "I guess it's because we humans don't know what we're missing? I mean, we aren't born with shells like you guys are, so we can't exactly miss something we never had. Know what I mean?"

"I suppose." Opal bit her lip. "Still though, I feel bad for humans because of that. We can store basically anything in our hammerspaces." She reached into her shell, pulling out what looked like her personal cell phone. She reached in again, pulling out a tube of lipstick. "It's really nifty, and it saves you a lot of trouble. At least, I think it would in comparison to how humans carry their belongings." She gave Mario the same interested yet puzzled look from before. "What are those things human women carry? Those weird looking bags that they carry on their shoulders?"

Mario blinked. "You mean purses?"

"Yeah, that's what I mean; purses." Opal snickered. "That just seems like a waste of space. Those things are so tiny that you can't even hold a water bottle in them! How could they even compare to a hammerspace?"

Now it was Mario who was chuckling. "I guess… it can't."

"My thoughts exactly." She scooted closer to Mario. "Must be a big hassle, being human."

Mario thought about this. "I… guess?" He shrugged. "I mean, I like being human." His shoulders drooped, and he directed his attention down toward the ground. "I like being human a lot, actually…"

Silence filled the room, although Mario barely noticed it because of the weight and volume of his own thoughts. His worries climbed toward the ceiling, his fears made his stomach turn into a watery mess. He also felt uncomfortable; squirmy, he supposed he could say. He looked down at his hand, his scaly golden hand. He wiggled his fingers, trying not to let his thoughts get overwhelming.

"Well, don't worry, Mr. Mario!" said Gabby. "You'll be human again soon!"

"You think so?"

"Yeah!" said Adam. He giggled, bouncing up and down in his seat. "And in the meantime, we'll help you get used to being a Koopa! We'll show you a lot of cool things about it, and we'll even teach you the best way to fight!"

"Fight?" Mario asked with a blink.

"Well, yeah!" Adam turned to look at him. "I mean, you said that King Bowser was the one who cursed you, right? Obviously, you're gonna have to fight him in order to have the spell removed.' Adam grinned a sparkly grin. "And we'll teach you how to do it! We can teach you how to defend yourself, and how to land good hits on people… we'll teach you everything! We won't leave a single stone unturned."

A warm feeling spread through Mario's heart, one that he didn't feel very often if at all. "Wow." He put his hand to his chest. "That would actually mean a lot to me. Thank you." He giggled. "It would probably be for the best. I was given a bill blaster not too long ago, and I had absolutely no idea how to work that thing!"

"Well, bill blasters are pretty clunky weapons in general, to be fair," said Opal. "I mean, they're useful, but can also be difficult to utilize." Opal smiled. "We'll teach you about other combat techniques that don't require hauling a twenty-ton weight around wherever you go. I mean… not to brag, but I do know a thing or two about getting physical."

"Really?" Gabby asked. She raised an eyebrow at her mother. "How would you know anything about fighting, Mom?"

Opal just giggled. "I have secrets, and I'm allowed to keep them." The kids' faces fell, which just made her giggling more prevalent. "But yes, Mario. We'll help you."

The warm feeling got even stronger, and more noticeable. Mario even felt tears form in his eyes as he looked at these koopas. This… this wasn't real, was it? There was no way this could be real. This had to be some sort of wacky dream Mario was having in a deep sleep. On some level, he had wished that was the case before. But now… somehow, he didn't want this to be a dream anymore. He wanted to believe that this was actually happening. He didn't, but… man did he want to.

"Thank you." Mario let out a breath. "Thank you very much."

"Don't thank us quite yet, Mario," came Michael's voice. Everyone turned to him, and he smiled in a way that was somehow more genuine and excited than all the other expressions that Mario had seen today. "You haven't tried my cooking yet!"

Both of the twins gasped. "Is it suppertime?" Gabby asked.

"It is! And since we have an honored guest with us today, we will also be serving dessert!"

"YES!" Both twins yelled. "Thanks, Dad!" They bolted out of their seat, running toward the room that was more than likely the dining room.

Opal chuckled and turned to Mario. "Kids."

"I know." With that, Mario got up. He hoped that the food the Goldleafs served would be as good as the way they'd been treating him.