Ichika 4

Ichika gets a text.

Fuutarou: I need to talk to you soon. Can I come by your apartment?

Ichika: Good, because I need to talk to you too. There's something I need to tell you. Can you come right after school tomorrow?

Fuutarou: Sure. You'd better not be up to something.

Ichika: Whatever could you mean… :P

—

Ichika's doorbell rings.

I'm not sure what he wants to talk about, but I shouldn't get my hopes up. I dressed up a little and put on makeup for him, which will be pretty embarrassing if he just tells me something and leaves right away. Why did I try to look good for him? I already know that he can't be more than a friend. Trying to seduce him is only going to cause problems. But for some reason the idea of him looking at me is exciting. But that's wrong. Not only does he have a girlfriend, but his girlfriend is my precious sister. Just calm down and treat him like a friend.

Ichika opens the door and Fuutarou enters.

"Hey," Fuutarou says. "The last time I was here was that night. The last night of the festival. Thanks for letting us stay here that night, by the way. You were a lifesaver."

"That day was crazy, wasn't it? Our biological dad showed up, Yotsuba was in the hospital, Miku stopped a civil war in our class, and…well…there was the thing…when you made your choice."

Ichika sits on the couch. Upon broaching that topic, she feels a tinge of sadness and also curiosity. She leans forward and looks down, her eyes watery.

"Your decision was a surprise for everyone," she says. "Nobody expected that. And the fact that Yotsuba ran away when you went to her room made it even more crazy."

"Was it really that surprising?" Fuutarou asks. "I purposely didn't say or do anything that would indicate I was romantically interested in any of you. I was in no-date mode since I started tutoring you, not only because of being your tutor but also because I didn't want to date anyone anyway. No matter how much you or Nino pushed me, I tried not to show interest. That's why I thought you wouldn't be expecting me to go to your room."

"That's so like you, Fuutarou," Ichika says. "You think of things in such an overt way. You know, usually showing romantic interest isn't something you turn on and off. Believe me. If I could turn off my feelings, I would."

Ichika's eyes tear up a little more and she blushes. Her voice comes out weakly as she asks a sensitive question.

"Fuutarou…do…do you have any regrets? Do you wish you had chosen someone else? Be honest."

"I wish I could have waited until after finals to start a relationship. But as far as who I chose, I definitely don't have any regrets."

"That's good…" Ichika continues staring down at her feet.

What did I expect him to say? Was I hoping he wanted to be with me instead? Of course he wouldn't say that. But I do wonder…

"Hey," Ichika says, "so, um…would you have gone to another girl's room? Was there someone else you were considering?"

"No, not really," Fuutarou says. "I was going to choose no one, up until I fully realized that I couldn't keep ignoring Yotsuba. If it wasn't for the things she caused me to feel, I would have chosen no one."

"But…let's say Yotsuba wasn't an option. Who would you have chosen then?"

"I already told you," Fuutarou says. "I can't really imagine a romantic relationship with any of you besides Yotsuba. I wanted to choose no one, but it felt like I had no choice but to choose her."

"So, I…" Ichika stands up and turns away from Fuutarou as she speaks, crossing her arms. "Did I have a shot before Kyoto? If I wouldn't have done those things during the Kyoto trip, do you think I had a shot with you?" Ichika is too embarrassed to look back at him.

"I don't know. You apologized for that, so I don't think it's a big deal anymore."

"Fuutarou…" Ichika finally turns her head back to look at Fuutarou, with tears in her eyes. "I…I didn't lie. Not completely. Six years ago…You played cards with me."

"What are you saying? I already know that it was Yotsuba that I met that day."

"No, wait…It was me in the hotel. After Dad brought you and Yotsuba back to the hotel, you were waiting for your dad to show up. Yotsuba told us about you, and I went to meet you. You thought I was her, and we played cards together."

Fuutarou puts his hand over his mouth and sinks into the couch.

"I…wow…"

"I'm sorry to spring this on you now, Fuutarou. But it seems like that day was important to you, so I thought you should know. But you should also know that, during our Kyoto trip, I was trying to make you think I was the only girl you met. I was trying to deceive you. I'm sorry. I should have just told you the truth then."

Fuutarou doesn't look angry at all. He just looks surprised.

"So that was you…I wonder if I would be able to tell you apart now. I definitely couldn't back then, after knowing you for a day. And…you're right that that day six years ago is important to me. It has been all along. I'm not totally sure why. It's probably silly, to put so much importance on a single day spent with a stranger in a far-away city six years ago."

"It was important enough that you chose Yotsuba because of your memories of that day with her?" Ichika asks.

"No. I didn't know it was her. I started to guess that it might be, but I didn't know for sure until I confronted her about it. That really didn't play any part in my decision."

"So you didn't choose her just because of nostalgia. I'm glad to hear that," Ichika says. She starts to calm her emotions and she turns away from Fuutarou again.

"The truth is," Fuutarou says, "she became special to me that day six years ago, and she became special to me again over this last year. It happened twice for the same reasons, I guess."

"So what you're trying to say, Fuutarou, is that Yotsuba is your type. I guess I'm not your type, huh?"

"I don't know. I don't know what my type is, or how types even work. What about you? Am I your type? What do you even like about me?"

"You're really putting me on the spot here," Ichika says. "Let's see… I started to be interested in you at the fireworks festival not long after you started tutoring us. You showed an interest in my acting, and you brought us all together in the park so we wouldn't miss our firework tradition. There's also the time when we got locked in the storage building on the camping trip, of course. There's lots more times I could mention. It's not so much that you're my type, it's that things keep happening that make me like you more and more. Wow…it's embarrassing to say that out loud."

"Experiences, huh? So it's not about me specifically, it's about the experiences we shared. It sounds to me like you should try having more experiences with other people. I don't know how love and dating works, really, but it seems like you could share experiences with someone that is more compatible with you and you'd be better off. I don't want to be the guy who you end up with just because I was around at the right time. Does that make sense? Am I just rambling?

"No, that makes sense. Kinda. You're right. Itsuki said something kind of like that the other day to me and Nino. And now it feels like you are consoling me, which makes me feel more pathetic. Hey, I know, why don't you tell me the thing you dislike most about me."

"What I dislike about you? Um…I don't think there's anything. You regret how you acted on the Kyoto trip, right? If that's something you are sorry for, then I can't think of anything else. I don't think I particularly dislike anything about you."

"You're so difficult…" Ichika tears up again and turns away.

How can you say something like that? You were supposed to say something mean and push me away. You really dislike nothing about me? I find that hard to believe.

"Truthfully," Fuutarou says, "when I thought about dating you, I didn't like the idea of it much. The reason is that you're too powerful. You run circles around me in conversations, with your teasing and sarcasm. I can't match up to you when it comes to communication skills. That kind of thing doesn't seem like a good basis for a partnership. That being said…it can be pretty fun sometimes."

Fun. He really has fun bantering with me. That makes me happy. I need to make myself be happy with being his friend and nothing more.

"Fuutarou, you should know, I agree with Nino. I know you didn't want to hurt our feelings, but regardless, Nino and Miku and I are sad about this. I agree with Nino in that it feels insulting to us if you don't take your relationship with Yotsuba seriously. Not just because she's our sister, but because we are the collateral damage. Our sadness should mean something."

"You don't think I'm taking it seriously?"

"I didn't say that," Ichika says. "I'm just warning you. If nothing comes of your relationship with Yotsuba, we are going to feel pretty disappointed."

"Well I think I'm taking it pretty seriously," Fuutarou says. "We are discussing the possibility of her moving to Tokyo with me."

"What!? That's a big deal! Good for you guys. I'm happy to hear that. I was pretty worried about a potential long-distance relationship between you two."

"Yeah, and also…she's getting better. I think. Yotsuba seems to be doing better lately. She decided she wants to try to be a nurse, so she's seriously thinking about her own future. And she seems to be getting better at allowing herself to be happy apart from her sisters. We had a date at one of those manga cafes the other day, and she…well…" Fuutarou blushes. "I think she is getting more comfortable with me."

So things really are going well between them. That makes me feel happy, and sad, and relieved, all at once.

Fuutarou, still embarrassed at what he just mentioned, clears his throat. "Anyway…I wanted to talk to you about something. I want to organize a study night. Two nights, actually, and we are going to have snacks and maybe some brief breaks to have fun. Are you in?"

"Of course I am," Ichika says. "As long as someone is around to make sure I don't get naked in front of you when I start to fall asleep."

"Your sisters will be there, so it's fine. Or at least, I think they will. I haven't spoken to Miku and Nino yet. It's important to me to face them soon and clear the air for the study party. It's going to be tough, though. I wanted to ask for your help with those two."

"Nope."

"What?" Fuutarou looks genuinely surprised. "You've been so supportive lately. You really don't want to help me with Nino and Miku?"

"Nope. I'm not gonna help you." Ichika gives a teasing grin. "You don't need my help."

"What do you mean? Of course I need your help. I'm not sure if I can deal with them by myself, especially Nino."

"By yourself? Fuutarou, you're such a dummy. You've been in this situation before, you know. When you first started tutoring us, you had to run around putting out fires to try to get us to study together. And back then the biggest obstacle was Nino, just like now. Remember how that was?"

"Of course I remember. You're right, this mess is similar to how it was then. A total nightmare."

"Yep. And you didn't have my help back then. There was somebody else. You had someone else by your side all along. She was there supporting you every step of the way while you tried to bring us together."

"Oh…" Fuutarou fiddles with his bangs nervously. "You're right."

"You shouldn't take her for granted," Ichika says.

"You're right," Fuutarou says. "You're absolutely right. I won't take her for granted any more."