WHAT IF
Chapter 37 – Daily routines and dangers
Hermione arrived as one of the first ones back at Hogwarts the next morning. She had used the floo at the train station - the ministry had allowed a one-time connection for safety reasons – after Fred had apparated her close enough to a hidden spot. Now Hermione started to feel restless as the castle only slowly filled with students. For once Hermione didn't feel like spending time at the library and the common room was out of the question since the fat lady nursed a massive hangover and was in a terrible mood. Instead, Hermione decided to take a stroll around the ground to visit Hagrid and pick up Crookshanks. Hermione had asked Hagrid to look after Crookshanks since the half-kneazel hated all kinds of fireworks so he surely wouldn't have appreciated a stay with the twins over New Year.
When she arrived at Hagrid's hut Hermione was surprised to see Buckbeak in front of it, slowly munching on something and clearly relaxed.
"Wonderful creature, right?" Someone asked behind her. "Hogwarts is very lucky that Hagrid could acquire another well-natured hippogriff for his lessons. He's named Witherwings." Professor Dumbledore smiled at Hermione, an amused twinkle in his eyes. "Miss Granger, a pleasure to see you. Would you be so kind and give this to Harry?"
"Of course, Professor:" He handed her a small scroll which Hermione quickly tucked away under her robes.
Hermione did not ask Hagrid why the headmaster had visited him. It was probably something secret for the Order and Hermione didn't want Hagrid to talk himself into a tangle like he was prone to when he had secrets to keep.
Instead, they talked about Buckbeak and how Crookshanks had enjoyed his short stay with Hagrid during the holidays. Now the half-kneazel was purring contently on her lap while Hermione tried to soften one of Hagrid's cookies in her tea.
It was hours later when Hermione made her way back to Gryffindor tower and promptly met Harry, Ron, and Ginny, who were arguing with the fat lady. While Ron and Ginny broke off to spend time with Lavender and Dean, Hermione and Harry secured a spare table in a rather quiet corner.
"So how was your Christmas?" Harry asked and Hermione itched to tell him about Fred and the soul mark. She knew Harry someone she could trust with everything, but she didn't want to put him into a position where he had to keep secrets from Ron.
So, she just shrugged. "Oh fine. Nothing special. How was it at Won-Won's?"
"I'll tell you in a minute." Harry rolled his eyes. "Look, Hermione, can't you-?"
"No, I can't. So don't even ask."
"I thought maybe, you know, over Christmas-"
"It was the Fat Lady who drank a vat of five-hundred-year-old wine, Harry, not me. I hate that I always must be the bigger person when it comes to fights with Ron."
"As if, I can't remember one time when you gave in."
"No, but people always expect me to. And asking me to is honestly only fuelling my stubbornness."
"Merlin, both of you are so exhausting."
"But you still love us." Hermione flashed him a grin. "So, what was this important news you wanted to tell me?"
They spent the rest of the evening discussing Harry's various theories about Malfoy, Snape, and Fenrir Grayback, which made a bit more sense than the ones before the holidays but Hermione still had the gnawing suspicion that Harry was becoming paranoid.
OOO
The first few weeks of the new year proceeded similarly to the last few weeks of the old school year. Hermione was still not speaking to Ron and at this point, she was hell-bent on winning this stupid contest of stubbornness. But she wanted to win it fully. Ron, of course, would probably talk to her gladly anytime, especially since she knew quite well how he would probably soon need her help for the exams. But Hermione wouldn't budge. She wanted Ron not only to understand why she was angry with him but also to admit that he was doing it on purpose. And so, silence it was.
The next common occurrence was Harry's still outstanding performances during potion classes. With every class, Hermione was slowly getting more and more angry and the damn book and at Harry for using it. The thing with the bezoar was only the cherry on top. It annoyed more than she wanted to admit, that Harry was outdoing her with so little effort. Hermione tried to tell herself, that she was only angry because Harry was kind of cheating but, to be honest, she just hated not being the best.
Something that also became a regular occurrence was fights between Ginny and Dean. They managed to keep it private so no one was gossiping about them but every time Ginny came to Hermione afterwards and vented. Hermione tried, really, to give her friend good advice but with every fight and every complaint Ginny had about Dean Hermione became more and more frustrated. The two of them just didn't fit. But whenever Hermione tried to voice her concerns Ginny got even more upset.
The only break from daily school life was the apparition lessons. They were harder than Hermione had ever imagined. The first few weeks no one managed a full apparition and with every lesson, the cases of splintering became higher and higher. Hermione hadn't expected to manage apparition right from the start. But what was frustrating her most was the fact, that she wasn't even managing halfway in the first few lessons. She didn't even manage to splinter at least some part of her body into the wooden hoop.
Hermione's bright spot during this time was the letters she exchanged with Fred. They continued to write as often as possible about all the little things happening in their daily life. Hermione complained about Harry and Ron and the apparition lesson and the Slug club; Fred about the low business in Diagon Alley and the tense discussions at Order meetings. Hermione laughed at his descriptions of potion failures. Every morning a new letter from Fred arrived Hermione felt her mood brighten.
And so, winter slowly turned into spring and Hermione knew Ron's birthday was up soon. She had had her gift for him since the summer holidays. She had bought an assortment of different muggle beers for him – put under a stasis charm – in a pretty box in her dresser, waiting for Ron to turn off age. She thought he would get a kick of not only getting alcohol from her but also something muggle. But now she wasn't sure about giving them to him. On the one hand, she was still angry, on the other hand, one only turned seventeen once. And ignoring one of your oldest friends on his birthday just seemed wrong.
Hermione was still contemplating her options – she could ask Ginny or Harry to give Ron her gift and maybe a card, then she wouldn't have to talk to him – when Lavender stormed the room, tears streaming down her face.
"I hate him," Lavender sobbed as she dramatically buried her face in her pillows.
"What did Ron do?"
"I wanted to give him my gift. I was waiting in the common room and he just-." Lavender hiccupped. "He just stood me up. Didn't even spare me a glance. Said he wanted to see Romilda Vaine."
Hermione felt anger boiling in her veins. For months Ron had rubbed his lovey-dovey relationship with Lavender under her nose and now he made her cry when she had been so excited to give him his birthday present? Hermione had listened to Lavender rambling about it for weeks and she knew it was something Ron would absolutely love. Honestly, the gift had made Hermione question if Lavender was really just faking this relationship with Ron.
"Lavender, take some chocolate:" Hermione offered her roommate some of her favourite Swiss chocolates. "I will go murder Ron."
Lavender let out a watery giggle while Hermione put on her robes and strode out of her dorm fuelled with blind rage.
She went to the dining hall first. Breakfast was still being served and where food was Ron was normally not far away. Plus. Hermione knew Ron and Harry well enough to assume they had been sleeping in a bit and opted for a late breakfast. But even though the assumption was reasonable, she was still wrong.
Ron was nowhere in sight, and neither was Harry. Only a few students were still sitting at the table and Hermione was glad to see that Parvati was one of them.
"Parvati, you need to get to our room and take care of Lavender." Hermione didn't waste any time. "I have no idea what exactly is going on but there is something with Ron and Lavender was crying. You take care of her and I take care of Ron."
Hermione's next stop was the Quidditch field. Maybe Ron had thought it would be a good way to start his birthday with a bit of flying. When she didn't find him there either Hermione was slowly getting frustrated. It was too early for them to run around the castle. Maybe they were visiting Hagrid…but Hagrid's hut was empty when she arrived.
Back to the castle was the only option now and Hermione thought that at least she knew she would meet her two friends there soon. Today an apparition lesson was scheduled and she Ron and Harry would never miss it. Even though none of them made any progress, they still enjoyed the lesson.
But before Hermione was even halfway through the entrance hall someone called her name.
"Hermione!" Ginny was running towards her frantically. "Hermione, do you know what happened with Ron?"
"Yes, and I promise to leave the actual murder to Lavender. I just want-."
"Ron is in the hospital wing. McGonagall just told me." Ginny interrupted.
Without further questions, both girls stormed towards the infirmary just to find Harry pacing outside the doors. Bombarded by questions from Ginny and Hermione Harry tried to retell the happenings of the morning.
Then they waited.
Harry had to tell his story again to Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore, and again when Mr and Mrs Weasley arrived. But in between there was nothing else to do than to wait. Harry and Ginny filled those endless minutes with obsessing over theories.
Had Slughorn tried to poison Ron and why?
Had someone tried to poison Slughorn?
They were repeating the same questions over and over again, without ever coming to a satisfying conclusion.
Hermione meanwhile felt like someone had ripped a good chunk of her heart out of her chest and left only a gaping hole. She felt cold and empty and… nothing but guilt. They lived in dangerous times. She should have known better than to fight with Ron for so long for such petty reasons. It had been pointless from the beginning. She should have listened to Harry and Ginny. It had been so childish. And now, if Ron didn't wake up… she would never have the chance to speak to him again.
OOO
"I know we're kind of pissed off about Ron but he's only turning seventeen once."
"I know."
"Even Percy sent us a bottle even though he was probably heavily disapproving."
"I know"
"So, it would be nice if you could be civil."
"I know;" Fred huffed. "No matter what he's still our brother and I won't ruin his birthday. Have some trust."
They exited Zonko's and went down the road. Fred was already mildly annoyed because of his twin and the gloomy atmosphere in Hogsmeade did nothing to cheer him up. He had never visited the village outside of school trips and it was astonishing how abandoned it seemed without dozens of students running around. And well, the general vibe in Wizarding Britain wasn't great either way and it seemed not only Diagon Alley but also Hogsmeade suffered from that.
"We could grab a bite and then visit the castle after dinner. Maybe McGonagall will allow us to see Ron for a minute to give him our gift." Fred suggested.
"If she doesn't confiscate it on the spot."
"We could try to conceal it with a few spells. It will fool Filch surely and maybe McGonagall won't have the time and patience to actually look at it." After all, she had a whole castle of students, who were copped up and probably either annoyed or scared by the current situation, to run.
Their gift for Ron was mainly a big bottle of fire whiskey, wrapped in multiple layers of bright coloured paper and some neat little glasses, which refilled themselves magically, to go with it. They even had Ron's name engraved on the glasses. It was some kind of Weasley tradition amongst the siblings. The next oldest sibling would gift a bottle of fire whiskey and so forth. Bill had started it with Charlie, probably not intending to start a tradition. Charlie had thought it funny to gift Percy one too, just for laughter probably. But then the two oldest ones had thought it would be nice to continue and with Percy doing his part it actually became a tradition.
A tradition, Fred suspected, Percy had been bullied into by Bill and Charlie, but still…
The original plan had been to surprise Ron during the Hogsmeade trip, buy him his first shot at Rosmerta's and then hand him the bottle. They had planned to make a big deal out of his birthday and celebrate him properly. Fred was sure Ron would have loved the attention.
But it was a different kind of attention Ron got on his birthday; Fred discovered when they finally arrived at their old school. Professor McGonagall awaited them at the entrance, her lips pressed into a thin line and her eyes unreadable.
"I've expected you. Unfortunately, your brother is not in a state to celebrate his birthday right now but Madame Pomfrey allowed visitors a few minutes ago."
When they entered the hospital wing Fred had a cruel kind of deja vu. Ron in a hospital bed, unconscious and pale. It hadn't even been one full year since the incident at the ministry… The only solace now was that no one else was hurt. This time Fred didn't have to see Hermione in the same state. Instead, he found her with Harry and Ginny next to Ron's bed, all three of them looking tired.
When Fred and George entered the trio looked up, and while Harry and Ginny started to discuss the happenings of the day with George, Fred had only eyes for Hermione. She offered him a weak smile when he sat beside her, their hand brushing briefly but they kept their distance. Not because they decided to keep their relationship a secret but because this was really not the right moment.
Fred stayed beside Hermione; his leg pressed low-key against hers while he joined the conversation. Harry told them what happened and Ginny chimed in with the theories they had. And then the whole thing started all over again when Hagrid came in, asking the same questions again.
"You okay?" His voice barely a whisper as he slightly leaned down.
"No," Hermione looked close to tears. "I can't stop thinking about how we haven't talked for weeks now and if…" Her voice cracked. At this, Fred threw all caution in the wind and grabbed Hermione's hand. She instantly squeezed back – hard – but kept her eyes on Ron.
Before Fred could say something, his parents came in. His mother started to fuss over Harry instantly, about how he had saved half their family at this point, until Madame Pomfrey reminded them that only six people were allowed inside. Harry, Hermione and Hagrid offered to make room for the Weasleys in an instant.
Fred's heart sank as he watched Hermione leave the room.
"You know, I think Freddie and I should go too," George suddenly told their parents. Then George turned to him and winked. "We don't want to overwhelm Ron if he wakes up."
Fred used the ensuing discussion and quickly left the room. Luckily, he knew the castle well enough to cut some corners and arrive at Gryffindor tower before Harry and Hermione. He hid behind a corner and when he heard them approach, he gave a small signal.
"Oh no, I think I forgot something. Go ahead."
Fred heard how the portrait opened and closed and then Hermione was before him. Without a word he took her hand and pulled her towards a small reading nook, hidden behind a tapestry. There he finally – finally – could pull her into his arms.
Almost instantly Hermione dissolved into heart-shattering sobs. Her hands clawed at his robes; her face was buried in his chest. Her whole body was shuddering with every breath she took. Fred just held her tight in hopes of comforting and grounding her. He felt his own throat growing tighter, tears welling up deep inside him and finally rolling down his cheeks. Only a few, he doubted Hermione even noticed them.
After a little eternity, Hermione calmed down. Fred sat down on the broad, plush windowsill and pulled Hermione onto his lap.
"I'm sorry," her voice was still shaky. "He's your brother. I should comfort you."
Fred buried his nose in her hair, breathing in his amortentia. "I have more of those."
"You're terrible." There was a slight smile in her voice.
"Want to talk about it?"
"It's just… I just realised how stupid I was. If he really-." She paused; words were unnecessary. "I think I couldn't forgive myself ever if something happened to Ron and our last words to each other were petty spats. Not just Ron, of course, I wouldn't want to lose anyone. When I saw him, I realised how dangerous it is right now. I mean, I knew the times were dangerous. But I finally realised it, like really realised it. I think I know now what Lupin meant when he warned us."
"You should talk to him when he's awake again." Fred still had his face buried in Hermione's neck, her hair surrounding him.
"I will." Hermione started to caress his head softly. They spent half the night in the little nook, just cuddled together, whispering softly, and dozing away together.