Bite Sized Snax
Written for The Great Everlasting Prompt Compendium
Prompt 28: Write a story about 450 words around the prompt cactus
Wordcount: 411
Disclaimer: All Bugsnax names, characters and locations belong to Young Horses. I own nothing that you recognize.
"Heh, wouldja get a load of this thing." Cromdo said, a sly grin spreading across his furry features. He had gone outside for some fresh air and found Cactriffy parked in the garden. Curious, he decided to have a closer look at the potted plant. "So this is the famous cactus wife I've heard so much about. What do you suppose he does with this thing?"
Snorpy anxiously twisted the strings on his apron. "I heard Wambus made that because he gets lonely sometimes," he said, not bothering to look at the out of place succulent while he was speaking.
Cromdo laughed. "Oh, he does, does he? Maybe something like this could be profitable. You know, like a cross between one of those Japanese love dolls and a Chia Pet." His laughter faded, and he turned to the others with his paws on his hips. "Eh, but seriously, what do you do with one of these? You don't suppose he backs up and sits on it for pleasure, do ya?"
Beffica elbowed Snorpy, who was already blushing at the thought of intimacy. "OMG you want to like, take Wambus' cactus for a ride, Snorpy?"
"Absolutely not!" Snorpy exclaimed, the others laughing in amusement.
"Yeah, but what if Chandlo was out of town for a week and you were really lonely?" Beffica asked, her lips curling in a devilishly delicious smile. "And it's totes the same color and everything. You could dress it up in one of Chandlo's smelly old workout tops and use your imagination."
"Uhm..." Snorpy tilted his head, looking as though he were giving it some serious thought. "No, I don't want to sit on it. I am not into sadomasochism. Although you might want to ask my sibling if they'd be interested in sharing the cactus with Wambus."
Everyone looked at Floofty.
"Oh please. This is strictly a scientific venture," they said, adjusting their goggles and glaring at the other Grumpuses. "Besides, do you really think I brought enough whips, chains, contraceptives, lube, cigarettes, and dildos for a threesome?"
"I'm pretty sure Lizbert has all that stuff in her hut if you need anything," Filbo called out from the back of the crowd. The others looked at him, and Filbo quietly backed out of the conversation.
Floofty huffed out an irritated sigh. "Come on, Snorpington." They grabbed their brother by his apron strings and hauled him out of the garden. "We're leaving before they start giving you ideas."