It was supposed to be like any other day. We have been super busy with a case and was getting closer to finding the murder of two men when an apparent drug deal went wrong. Erin was sitting at her desk when I arrived along with most everyone else except Adam who is nutritiously late. Once Adam arrived Voight came out of his office and updated us on the case and then gave us assignments for the day. We were going to do a drug busted at this old mill. We geared up and clarified what each of our roles were and headed to the location. Adam was pumped and talking nonstop on the way there, Alvin told Adam he was being annoying and to stop talking which turned into a lover's quarrel with those too. Kevin, Erin and I were all laughing listening to them argue. Once there we all climbed out of the van and took our positions.

We charged in and took control of the situation and made arrests. All offenders surrender without incident. I took my vest off thinking we were safe now and going to be taking the offenders to jail to get booked. I was talking to Voight when I heard a shot and felt intense pain in my back. My knees buckled and would have hit the ground hard if not for Voight catching me and lowering me slowly to the ground. I heard shouts and people running but I could focus on the pain. I was in Voight arms, and he was taking to me, I could see his lips moving but I couldn't speak. I was so confused, what the hell just happened?

Next thing I knew was that Erin was beside me and talking fast on the phone. I felt Voight turn me over on my side and I was facing his chest. The pressure came then when someone, probably Erin, pulled up my shirt and pressed on where the pain was the most intense. I screamed and tried to move but Voight, Erin and someone else were holding me tight. When did a third person get there? Who was it? Voight turned my head enough that I could see his face and it was blurry. He started tapping on my face and speaking to me, but I still couldn't make out what he was saying.

Suddenly, I could hear again. Voight was calling my name.

Jay "my back, my back" was all I could say.

Voight "I know, Jay you were shot, help is coming just hang in there".

I was shot by who? We cleared the scene and there shouldn't have been anyone else with guns there. Voight was shaking me and calling my name, but I was done talking. The pressure on my back became worse and I could feel myself shaking and someone saying, "He's having a seizure, hold him tight". I saw stars and was swimming in my mind. I had no clue what was happening at that point. I began to get my senses back and hear Erin say the seizure is over, where is the Ambulance?

I started to feel like I couldn't breathe and began taking big gasps of air. Voight looked at me and said, "keeping breathing kid they're almost here". Erin, "I hear sirens Kevin go make sure they find us."

All the sudden there were more hands on me pulling me onto a hard board. They cut my shirt and pants off and took my shoes off. I was left in my socks and boxers in the middle of this warehouse with all my co-workers looking horrified. I was turned to my side again and could feel more pressure being placed on what I assumed was the gun shot. A mask was placed on my mouth and nose, and I could feel an IV being placed in my arm. Crap I hate needles this is going to suck. I knew there would be more needles in my future, and that caused me more anxiety just thinking about it. Something was placed around my neck, and I couldn't move it any longer.

One of the EMT stated "heart rate is fast, and he is losing a lot of blood". I felt someone open my eye lids and shine a light in them. Then someone rubbed my chest with their fist and called my name. I couldn't response and just looked at her. I think I knew her but couldn't remember her name. She said, "he is unresponsive". I felt myself being lifted onto what I assumed was a gurney and was rolled once again and something was poured over the wound. I felt them strapping me down and it threw me into a panic. I began moving and crying. This was part of my PTSD triggers, from when I was kidnapped in Afghanistan, being strapped down.

Erin appeared in front of my face and held it and was shhhing me. Erin "calm down Jay they are helping you". The EMT who I am sure I know said "I'm going to give him something to calm him, so he doesn't cause more harm to himself". I felt a cooling sensation in my arm where I'm guessing the IV was and felt myself calm quickly.

I began moving and passing my teammates. Once I was in the ambulance The EMT attempted to get me to speak with her again. I just couldn't form words right now. EMT "do you know who his emergency contact is?" Erin "Yeah, it's his brother Will Halstead". When did Erin get here? Has she always been here? EMT "Dr. Halstead, right?" Erin "yes". EMT "Okay I am calling the hospital now to let them know and update on Jay and will tell them to get Will". Erin held my hand all the way to the hospital. It felt so nice, and she was smiling at me and saying you're going to be fine.

I felt the ambulance stop and then the gurney was pulled out and into the ED doors. A ton of people came out around me and began talking and giving orders. Someone pushed through one nurse and was face to face with me. It was Will. Will "Hang in their buddy, they're going to take great care of you". Will was patting my head and shhhing me too. I hadn't noticed that I was crying until now. Will "I am not leaving you, okay? I'll be here the whole time".

I felt myself being lifted onto a bed, but it was hard and small. Something sticky was being placed on my chest and when I looked down it was little stickers that had wired which led to a machine and it was beeping. I was rolled on my side again and felt someone ripping off the bandage and poking around my wound, which caused me to scream. Will "shhh, buddy I know it hurts but they have to complete an assessment to know what they need to do". I could see Natalie she was moving around me so fast. Natalie, "can someone cut his boxers off we need to complete a spinal test". Great, now I'm going to be naked and lose all the dignity I had left. Someone cut my boxers off and exposed me to them all. I felt a hand run down the length of my spine and then in my ass crack and into my ass. What the fuck is going on? I began moving and hands held me down. Natalie "I have anal retention". Will, "sorry Jay they have to check for a spinal injury and part of that is checking to see if you have anal retention, which you do." I thought the needles were going to be the worst part of this hold experience.

Natalie "April can you get a set up a foley catheter and get an ultrasound machine". April, "sure coming up." Will, "Hey Jay listen they are going to put a catheter to measure your urine output since the wound is near your kidneys and then they are going to ultrasound your belly and back to look for a bullet." I heard what Will said and it only began to register when I felt someone grabbing "little Jay". Shit this is going to suck, and it did. I felt someone covering me and was grateful for that. Then I felt cold jelly on my stomach and pressure. It hurt and I screamed again. Natalie "I'm sorry Jay, we'll give you more pain meds". Then I was turned on my side again where they put more jelly stuff and added more pressure, this time thought I didn't have a lot of pain.

Natalie "I see the bullet its 2 cm from the kidneys, April call surgery to come down, he'll need this removed". The surgery came down and redid the ultrasound and confirmed he needed emergency surgery to remove the bullet. Will "Jay you're going up to surgery soon to remove the bullet okay, just stay calm and it will be over soon. You're going to be fine". Will was running his fingers through his hair and all I could do was look at him. Nurses came and took me to surgery. They gave me something that made me super sleepy and then blackness.