It was with the delicate crunching of sand, pressing woefully against her keen ear, that brought her umber eyes back to the beach behind them. Terk never knew herself to be...particularly paranoid, hell, caution wasn't really her strong-suit, if her latest escapades with the weird, hairless apes was anything to go by. Of course, it would have likely been in her favor for her to be just that...cautious, like the rest of the troop, you know? She knew it wouldn't do to draw attention to herself, much less the rest of her folks, she knew that, but she couldn't help it if trouble found her; call it an occupational hazard of being, well, her.
Even when she couldn't help staying out of trouble, she could say that she was cognizant enough to know when something was, how do you say, out of place.
Or should she say, wrong, so to speak.
She was a clever ape, she had to be, seeing as being with the other ladies never really worked out for her, and well, the boys didn't take kindly to her...attitude, or at least, most of them didn't.
There were exceptions in most cases.
But it served well to mark her place as one that saw more, knew more, thought more.
So imagine her surprise when she caught wind of the exact kind of thing that she knew to be wrong, knew to be trouble, waltzing right back up the beach from the boat that they were supposed to be on,
That the humans should have been sailing back on to wherever they'd come from.
The young ape could hardly scramble back into the tall grasses that she and Tantor, thankfully, had been walking to moment her heard them. The two leaned low, carefully, into the brush, the elephant scarcely having time to react before he was quickly guided onto his stomach, his confused sputtering all but silenced by the gorilla as her sharp eyes peered through the grass. Each of them, the humans, she thought, seemed to be in high spirits, if their heavy laughter and swift movements were anything to go off of, but that was just it.
There were so many of them, number more than she could count. There hadn't been this many at first, she knew that to be true. Made stranger when before, there were only three before...not counting Tarzan.
The ape bristled coldly at the thought of the former, though her mind could scarcely mind the embittered twist of her thoughts as she tried to rack her brain.
What did you call them? Men, or humans, or something like that, she was sure, but as far as she knew, he was one of them now, it seemed. Despite herself, she still considered him one of their own, an ape, through and through, no matter what that huzzy whatever-her-name-was said.
At least, that's what her heart wanted to believe. He'd left so abruptly, without so much as considering staying...she couldn't deny feeling even just a little...hurt.
But she'd never say that out loud.
Her feelings were her business.
However, she didn't really have time to think about that, not now.
Not when there were so many humans, fanning along the beach, speaking in that weird way that they did, and though she couldn't really understand them, she got the impression that they were here for something.
Because, well, else could they be back for but that?
She doubted they were here to sight-see, seeing as that guy from before, what was his name...the one in the yellow, she couldn't think of his name. He didn't strike her as the type to mingle with the locals, especially he spent most of the trip...hurting things. It was in his hands that she couldn't help but spot that big, loud thing from before, something he, apparently never let go, seeing as he was never without it.
And something he apparently used to...kill. He seemed more than willing to fire that thing at the occasional monkey here and there, though usually when he was out on his own, away from the eyes of that other lady and the old guy.
When he was left to do as he pleased.
As such, Terk didn't take too kindly to seeing it again, a raw, gross taste lingering on her tongue at the sight of it, though it didn't just end with him. In fact, pretty much every one of the humans had something in hand, be it nets, and smaller versions of the thing in Clayton's hands, others with round, sharp bits she couldn't name. All manner of things that, despite not knowing what they were called (not that she cared), she knew none of them were good, that's for sure.
And it was in this that she felt herself blanch at what they had in mind. Nothing...good would come them being here...something wasn't right.
She just …felt it.
She watched them, the men hitching their boats to the shore, tying them down on rocks and gathering the rest of their things as they were hauled into giant bags upon their backs. Terk shifted when Clayton called to each of them, and she could feel it, Tantor's rising anxiety as it began to dawn on the two of them that something was about to happen. Pulling close to him whilst they were distracted, she leaned into his waiting ear, tone low, careful, as to not draw attention to the two of them.
"You feel that too, right? Like somethin' ain't right?" She whispered, and the elephant was quick to respond, nodding quickly, though discreetly, and she tell in his face that he looked just as she felt: scared.
She wasn't even sure why she felt like that, not yet, at least. Nothing was even happening, yet...she couldn't shake the feeling that something would. Of course, it didn't take much for the big guy beside her to get weak at the knees; just about everything in the jungle was cause for panic in the elephant, much to her own amusement. However, this time, she couldn't blame him, the blanched look upon his taut features giving her pause all the same.
But if one of them had to keep it together, it would be her.
One of them had to, you know?
"Y-yeah! I don't like the look of those guys. What's going on, Terk?" He asked, and quickly, she shrugged, unable to even fake knowing the answer like she usually would. How was she supposed to know? She didn't understand much more than him, not now, that is. She'd only been the in camp for a bit when she and the other apes, well...made a mess of things. The young gorilla had gotten up close and personal, sure, but she didn't gain a ton of insight into how things worked in there; she only knew enough to screw around with it, and she definitely didn't know what any of that stuff did.
Though, even more than that, none of this...stuff these guys were carrying with them was in there either, save for Clayton's tool, and he always had it with him, so that didn't count. All of this was new to her, and at best, she might be able to assume that these things could do harm, too, seeing as most of them were either pointy, or loud, or weird-looking.
Not to mention the precedent that Clayton set with his own, that definitely helped her draw some conclusions...though not enough to say where or what they intended to do. And definitely not enough to answer Tantor.
"Beats me, but I think I wanna find out. I think..." Watching them for a moment more, she felt herself focus on the man in yellow for a long moment, brown eyes tracking him carefully before backing deeper into the grass, Tantor following close behind her. Something in the look of that guy in particular just...rubbed her the wrong way.
She didn't like him.
She didn't know why, but...she just...didn't.
"...it's time for us to go. Right...now..." Turning from the beach, it was in that moment that the men began trekking into the brush, too, and the two had little time to turn tail, sifting quietly through leaves and forest litter to avoid their gaze until they were a good distance away from the path. Of course, it was in Tantor that, in his lumbering steps, attracted their attention, each one echoing harshly throughout the thickets of wood. However, the men seemed fine enough, letting it die away as they lifted their weapons defensively for a breath...then another...all for them to continue on their way, Terk listening closely to their dying voices on the carried wind about them.
Terk had then retreated into the thick ferns and plants littering the places nearest the trunks of trees, and Tantor, the trees themselves, each one just close enough where he crouching body could be concealed in the oceans of verdant green and earthy browns. The two waited for what felt like an eternity until the forest returned to its chirps, its warbles, its stirring, rushing wind, drowning the sound of the men's footfalls amongst the noise until eventually...they were alone.
And just as quickly, Tantor's panic set in.
"What was all of that stuff?! Why are they back?! I thought they were supposed be on that big thing to go home, b-but they're back?! Where are they going?! What do we do?! Where do we go - " In one swift motion, Terk gripped his trunk, the swaying appendage trembling with worry and anxiety so tangible that she felt it ripple through her, too. Tantor sputtered at the contact, unsure of what to do, what to say, in response to her silence. Any other day, she would have barked at him to be quiet, that his sobering and panic was giving her a throbbing headache, and in any case, it definitely was. How could she mistake the pulse at the front of her head, surely caused, in part, by the elephant's wailing?
But that wasn't it, at least, not the full reason.
She just didn't have it in her to lash out at him when, in reality...much of what he was wondering...was going through her head, too.
It was certainly not helping having her head full of all of this junk, all of this...fear. She didn't usually feel afraid, at least, not when Tarzan wasn't concerned. Sure, she had enough on her plate keeping him in check, but it wasn't often that she felt this way...because of things she didn't understand.
She had no idea how to answer Tantor, or rather, if she could at all. She didn't know what any of stuff was, why they were back, or what that big thing in the water was...but something told her that she had an idea...of where they were going.
She wasn't sure why, or how, but it was an inkling, deep, resting in her gut, that made her double back to their boats. Watching them set ashore, wavering quietly, ominously, in the waves before them...there was something in their apparent tranquility that told her something.
She wasn't sure why...but she knew where they would go.
And knew just as well that it wasn't for a good reason.
"I...I think we need to go back. Tell the troop and the herd that somethin' is goin' on. I don't know they want, but if my gut knows anythin', it's nothin' good, that's for sure." Terk admitted, giving Tantor a steely, uncertain look, the elephant returning it with equal parts fear, the expected reaction, but something else was there, too. A resolve, a strange thing to see on his features where it so rarely appeared, but when it did, it proved more than what she could have ever asked for, finding in the elephant a sense of courage, a willingness to do what he could to help others.
Figures that was what kept her around the guy, she thought with a slight grin, but it didn't remain, the air still tense, pitched with fear as Tantor picked up where she'd left off.
"You think they're...gonna try to hurt them? The herd...t-the troop? But...why would they do that? That's...but the humans before weren't like that, I think. Tarzan seemed to like them, didn't he?" Tantor asked, a hushed tone against the tentative whisper of forest sounds all around them, and at the mention of his name, Terk felt her mood sour.
Ah, right. Tarzan had...he was with his "people" now, right? Odd to think that the moment those guys showed up, he could hardly keep his head on straight, goin' on and on about that, what was her name? That lady one he wouldn't shut up about, Terk tried to think, but her name escaped her. For some reason, just like most other things, she just didn't take to be too interested in the broad.
Too uppity, she thought in one moment.
Too prissy, she thought the next.
Now? Too goddamn nosy, she couldn't help but think as she rooted around in the forest, trying to stick her nose where it didn't belong, and what had come of it? Her cousin, her...friend, out there, doing who knows what with a bunch of weirdos from the other side of the world?! She should have known having him hang out with those guys were bad news, but to think that...he'd actually leave? That he would...leave them behind?
The thought never crossed her mind.
Not once.
But the moment he'd told her that garbage, all of that "Finding myself" and "It's where I belong."; the very memory of it made her bristle with anger, with bitterness...with sadness.
What? Were they not enough? Did they do so little for him that he'd be willing to leave his life here and all of them behind to go chop it up with some surly broad across the ocean somewhere?! Didn't their relationship, their family, mean something? It should have, right? So why wasn't he still here? Why...did he leave?
Terk didn't think she'd care this much, be hurt this much, but...she was.
This hurt.
It really did.
"Yeah, well...he liked 'em enough to leave with 'em, too, right? Besides, these ain't the same guys, except for that guy in the yellow. That lady and old man ain't here, didn't you see that? Theys were the one that were all nice and whateva'. That other guy just...I don't know. He just...something ain't right, ya know? That's why we need to get back! All this talkin' and all, this is just wastin' time!" She exclaimed, spurring the large creature into action, and though she really meant it, that they should get back before those guys did, in reality...she was more than happy to focus on something else. Sure, warning the tribe was important, but if she could find something to pull her attention away from the churning mess inside her head, the feelings, the anger, the...everything else...that was more than she could have asked for.
She hated serious stuff.
It made her feel all sick, icky, all that junk she didn't have the stomach for.
She didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to feel any of it.
Not yet anyway.
"A-ah! Right! They went this way, come on! We could probably get a lead on them if we go through the thickets!" Tantor called to her, and with a nod, the two rushed ahead, back to the tribe and herd.
- (Same time, Elsewhere) -
Looking around the ship, Jane could really only see a few of the crew members that were left behind, and she figured they were just there to ensure that everything onboard remained as it was supposed to...that she didn't get up to no good, she'd imagine, too. Eying the main deck, there were few there to be seen, that is, crew members, carrying out their duties, some lounging about...drinking, playing cards, the common things.
Despite the work they ought to be doing, Jane found herself bemused by their laziness.
It took Clayton to find the most...unsavory folks for this expedition, though...with the nature of their work, with what they'd requested...it wasn't as if she'd really had a choice to be picky, selective with the people that they managed to scrounge up in the first place. There weren't many that were willing to go the distance to do this, really, so she should have been grateful, really.
In fact, it had taken a great deal of convincing the institute to even fund it in the first place.
Her least favorite part of these sorts of things.
But it had been enough.
They granted her and her father the means to carry this out, so who was she to complain about the semantics? Little things that, in the grand scheme of all of this, was a footnote in the bindings of her books? Of course, the means of which they'd done this...wasn't exactly what she'd...expected, the young woman thought, looking to the closed hatch that led below, deeper into the ship where...she knew he'd be.
Where...Tarzan would be.
Biting her lip, she found herself drawn to it, the cargo room just beneath her feet, and understandably so, since she hadn't left it since it had been closed before the others left. Jane didn't know...if she could leave it, knowing full well that the young man laid below, alone within the dark and cold...but quickly, she tried to eject the thought from her mind, or more like...the guilt that began to eat at her.
She hadn't done anything wrong, nothing of the sort! This was all for a good cause, she was helping him! To leave a man in the jungle with gorillas would be obscene, inexcusable; he ought be with them, with people. He needed to be civilized again, what, with him living in such a feral state. If anything, what she had done was an act of kindness, Jane reminded herself, though it felt more as though she were just trying to convince herself of that.
But she wasn't.
Why would she need to convince herself of something that was objectively true?
She was helping him.
She was going to improve his life.
That was it, and that was all.
...
...
...
So why did this feel...wrong?
"Oh, come now, Jane! Get ahold of youtself! Why must you make everything so...so complicated?!" She exclaimed at herself, gripping her hair as she loosed a frustrated sigh. Yes, their method of containing him hadn't gone as swimmingly as she'd hoped, and sure, he might have sustained a minor injury (if you'd call breaking one's leg "minor", that is, but it would heal, wouldn't it), and maybe...just...maybe...she wasn't exactly, entirely, honest with her intentions...but she wouldn't have been able to get him to come otherwise!
And it wasn't a lie...technically.
He would...he would be around people, he would learn their ways, learn to be...human again.
He would.
Soon enough, that is.
This was all for a good cause. This was all...for the right reasons, and it wasn't her fault that he had to hop everywhere, making things complicated and far harder than they had to be! Any civilized man would have simply listened, and quietly been escorted to the cargo hold, wouldn't they?
It simply wasn't her fault that he was so unruly.
That's why he needed her help.
They would set him straight, make him how he was supposed to be.
Nodding to herself, she smiled, feeling far more assured then she had before.
'He will be fine. He'll be thanking me, if anything, for all the things that I've done for him. He won't get it now, but he will...eventually.' Jane affirmed, looking out to the traces of the horizon, and beyond that, the jungle that he'd...once called his home.
Or should she say prison.
Despite its tranquil appearance from so far away, Jane couldn't help but shudder at the visage of violence, the face of peril, that glittered along the verdant treetops beyond. She'd seen firsthand the dangers that writhed and slithered deep within, and to known that he'd been there all of that time, with the muck and grime and danger...she couldn't help but feel pity for him. Sure, he'd found something akin to a...community...a...family...but the danger was there.
And he was safe.
Right here, just below.
With that thought in mind, she gave another look to the darkness that echoed, that called, solemnly back to her, finding herself uncertain of how he was. She could recall acutely the state of his leg, or really, his overall condition upon his...containment. He was roughed up quite a bit, wasn't he (though surely nothing worse than what he might have sustained in jungle beyond, she figured)? Part of her wondered how he was fairing down there, in that...oppressing dark.
'What? No, they surely would have kept the light and everything on, wouldn't they? They wouldn't just...have him in the dark. He's fine. I'm just...worrying over nothing.' She figured, chuckling at herself.
He was probably just...fine. They could tend to the leg later, but right now...she didn't know if it was best to try to see him right now, not when...he was likely upset with her. She'd seen that look, that...hurt, settling deep within his ocean eyes when this had all transpired. It left her feeling...odd, her mind strangely lingering on that one moment alone.
On the betrayal that surely wavered upon his face in those split moments before he was taken to the cargo hold. But Jane didn't dwell on it, she didn't want to.
If she did...she'd just start second guessing every little thing that she did, and how would that be productive at all?
He would be fine.
He would come to see that...this was for the best, that she was just...doing what was good for him, and if he couldn't see that...then -
Her train of thought was cut through by the sound of her father, urging her from the Captain's hold just a few meters away. His wily mustache clenched at the smile on his face, and stranger, still, Jane found herself envying his seeming lack of worry. She should look like that, too, right? She should have been celebrating this, that they'd go home, having done exactly what they'd intended to do and, looking back to through the grates of the deck hatch leading below, so much more, as it seemed.
To be free of the concerns that gripped her, pulled the young woman back to the trap of her own thoughts...would have been a blessing on its own. However, with her father calling to her, Archimedes waving over to her to come to him, she assumed, she turned away, pulling her gaze from the bowels of the ship, and to older man, answering his call in kind.
"Ah, yes! S-sorry, I was just...never-mind. What is it? Is everything okay?" She asked, making her way over to him. In his hands, she could spot a few journals, scried notes within capturing her attention a bit before she snapped her eyes back to her father's own, his face made young by his enthusiasm.
"Okay?! Why, I'm splendid, my dear! I just can't sit down, I'm so excited! Think about all the research and observations that we'll have to show for when we make our return! And to think, we were able to snag a living man from this place, why, I can hardly believe it! Now, I called you so we could - " Given pause, Jane realized that, perhaps subconsciously, her features did little to reflect his excitement, something that Archimedes most have noticed seeing as his own smile began to falter.
"Ah, Jane? Are you alright, dear? You seem a bit dower. Odd, given our accomplishments What ever is the matter?" Immediately, she felt small again, a child, bothered by something and her father, ever nurturing, there to ensure that...she was okay.
She was okay, wasn't she? She'd...actively brought Tarzan here, all in a bid to take him back with them, to civilize him, hadn't she?
But...she'd be lying if that were the only reason. If that were it, he wouldn't be down there right now, no matter how she tried to paint her actions as a plight of martyrdom. Sure, she may have taught him the very basics of being a human, but to say that she was just going to loose him onto the streets of London without something to show for...misguided at best.
Perhaps that was it, wasn't it?
That...civilizing him wasn't all that they had in mind?
She knew where he would go, but to the extent of the intent was unknown even to her. He was...an anomaly, they both knew that to be true, but more than that...she knew what the cost was. This wasn't just some measely expedition, she understood this, that was what this all hinged on. Tarzan aside...she and Archimedes knew they wouldn't leave this forest unmarked by their presence.
Was that it?
Was this guilt?
It should have occurred to her the moment they set foot on those untouched shores beyond that they would be cause of...hurt.
Of pain.
They'd gone to study the apes, yes...but they weren't naïve.
Clayton was here for more...and so were they.
Regardless of whether Tarzan thanked her down the road, much further into the future...was irrelevant.
This was wrong...but what could they do?
"Father, I...I just can't help it, you know? We came here, and...I mean, I want to believe we're doing a good thing, right? But...it's hard to think about that when we're...stealing. Taking creatures from their homes and taking them far, far away, further than they should be. All in the name of - " Suddenly, Archimedes gripped her arm softly, placidity written across his eyes as he seemed to realize where she was going with this.
"My dear, I could write a series of novels detailing each and every moral dilemma that I've had with myself over this exact issue. Whether it is right, whether what we do is selfish, whether it's misguided..." He started, looking off into the distance, and she followed his line of sight, landing on that same forest, that wild, untamed place where they'd been not too long ago. There was a long, drawn silence between them before he turned back to her, facing her stoutly, but calmly, as his grip loosened around her arm.
"...but that will be for you to decide. Each scientist must come to terms with the possibility that if understanding and progress are to occur, then it is us that must sully our hands in the pursuit of knowledge. For it is this..." Grasping at the journals and notes, scrawled in several sheets of paper within his hands, he held it before here, as if to hand it to her, but he didn't give them to Jane, only holding out to her before speaking again, exclaiming, "...the fruits of our labor, that push the field ever forward. When you doubt yourself, think of it. The contributions you've made, what you'll be doing for the field of Primatology, dear girl! So at the very least, you have it in you to celebrate this achievement, don't you?" The older man finished cheekily, nudging her softly as she allowed a small smile to peek upon her lips.
It was...admirable, wasn't it? They'd braved the forest, gotten up close and personal with the troop, learned of their behaviors, their ecosystem, their place in it; eying the sheer breadth of work they'd done, she had to admit it...it did feel pretty good when looked at with that perspective.
"I...well, I suppose when it is said like that, it does feel...nice. Really nice, actually." Jane admitted, momentarily forgetting about the pit in her stomach, nothing short of a sense of pride growing where that pit had once been. He was right; they were scientists, the front of the line when it came to the expansion of understanding for those that came after them. What had been nothing short of a hope, a dream, scrawled in her diaries as a child, were reality, made manifest by their hands alone. The glory should be theirs, shouldn't it? They deserved to feel good about this, and Archimedes couldn't agree more, chuckling heartily as he placed their notes carefully beneath his arm, tucking them before gesturing to the room he'd come from once more.
"Why, of course it does! There is no better feeling in the world than one of understanding, of triumph, it is not? Speaking of understanding, there was a reason I came to you, Jane. I need a bit of help sorting through these notes; I would hate for us to have these scattered like this when we returned to the institute, after all." Leading her in, Jane nodded quickly, the man quick to trek back to the table where the rest of there work laid, scattered and messy just as he'd said it was. Behind her, she couldn't help but glance back, parsing a look at the lingering hatch that led below, where Tarzan was.
And where the gorillas they would take back with them would soon be as well.
Shaking her head, she turned back, casting it away. The doubt, the fear, the shame...the guilt.
This had a cause, this had a purpose. All of this meant something, they were doing it...for good. She knew this, and despite what her mind tried to convince her of, despite her heart attempting to steer her otherwise, she wouldn't go back now.
They couldn't go back.
Not now.
And why would they want to?
Making it to the table, she could feel her attention being pulled from her mulling thoughts, choosing instead to focus as the two began to pull each sheet, each note careful piles before tactfully binding them and storing them away.
And soon, the thoughts leading back to her worries...faded away.