So he goes. And gets dressed.
Might as well, right?
The suit is nice, but—to his surprise—it isn't one of his. Did Metro Man pick it up from Minion? It fits him surprisingly well; if Minion didn't make it, Wayne must have at least gotten his measurements from Minion. Or Roxanne did. Oh, and it's layered, thank evil heaven. The waistcoat actually looks like it has two layers to it, a pale gray one with oxblood boning laid over the deep black base. It gives him extra material between himself and the world that wants him dead, gives extra weight to his thin chest, and it's laced up the back and fastens with a sort of…corset-style busk in the front. That's interesting.
It's structured. The laces appear to be mostly decorative; this thing feels like armor. Oh, thank god.
So: dark charcoal suit with subtle pinstripes, gray and black waistcoat with deep red accents. And…huh. Okay, it's Valentine's Day; a pink shirt is not the end of the world. Wait, is it pink? Could be purple. It's one of those annoying in-between colors that always trip him up. At least the shirt's collar and cuffs are black. That's different.
Megamind is not expecting the narrow oxblood tie to look half as good as it does when he—after a moment's hesitation—decides to go for broke and arranges it into a tulip knot at the base of his throat. It matches the boning of the sleek waistcoat, pulls everything together.
Even the shoes fit. And they do indeed make him seem a little taller than he is, which is always his preference. Miracles.
He straightens his tie, fixes his eyeliner a little darker than usual to balance against the contrast and sharp lines of his suit. Swallows. Exhales.
He does actually look quite good. Okay. Tonight…might actually not be a disaster? The giddy relief of that makes his knees weak.
And on top of it, Roxanne said she has his back. He has no idea what she meant by that, and he is still well aware this whole thing is probably a trick or a joke, but her smile and her wink and her words set his helpless heart doing cartwheels and backflips in his chest anyway. Evil gods below, he loves her. She surprises him at every turn with her wit and strength, and now she's surprising him with—with a—date. A date! A contrived public spectacle of a date with probably an ulterior motive, but still!
He could have at least picked up flowers, or something. Oh well.
"Well hey," Wayne exclaims when Megamind steps out of the dressing room. He sits up in his chair, looking cheerfully excited and adjusting his cufflinks. "That looks really slick! I thought it would."
Megamind gathers himself and swallows his pride. He has no evidence that this is going to blow up in his face, and Metro Man and his girlfriend did just drop a million dollars for this. Megamind can be the bigger person and pretend this is real until it goes wrong. Because what if it's real? What if?
What if 'gullible' is written on the ceiling?
But it's fine. Megamind has survived worse. He can't actually think of worse, right now, but he's survived it. He's sure.
"Thank you," he says, a little more stiffly than he had meant to. It is the polite thing to do."I…appreciate your effort. In this."
"Eh, it's no big. And, uh. I wanna say." Wayne sits forward and puts his elbows on his knees, fiddles with his cuticles and frowns a little. "You…do know you can come to me, right? I know it's not really your thing, you're a solo act. But if, if something ever happened and you needed…help…like, if something bad happened? You know I'd help you. Right?"
"Of course," says Megamind, who knows no such thing and has to wonder where he's going with this.
"…Good. Cool, that's…all I wanted. Just making sure."
The commotion outside the door suddenly grows a lot louder and more chaotic. Wayne gets to his feet.
"Guess they're here."
Megamind takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders.
He hates. Crowds. Hates them. They feel like claustrophobia on steroids, they feel like an active threat, and right now Megamind's head is still spinning and he feels like he is about to explode or fall over. But Roxanne climbs out of the car at the curb, already waving hello and greeting the young man who bought Wayne's date and arrived only a few seconds before she did, and Megamind focuses on the only good thing about tonight as best he can and tries to ignore the crush of shouting noise.
She knows this man, he realizes. He's seen enough of Roxanne's smiles to recognize when one is genuine and familiar. She knows this man, she likes him. They're friends. Does that—is that—significant? What is—
The stranger offers her his arm and she laughs and takes it, and they set off up towards the steps of city hall and their respective dates.
Halfway up the stairs, Roxanne lifts her head. Looks up at Megamind. Makes eye contact.
And smiles.
A real smile. An excited-greeting smile. She looks genuinely, honestly glad to see Megamind standing there, and for a moment—just for a few seconds as Roxanne walks up the stairs toward him with happy eyes—Megamind can forget the crowd and the ordeal and the pain and humiliation that…actually might…not? be? coming? Roxanne doesn't look like she's hiding anything, and Megamind desperately does not want to think she would take part in some kind of cruel prank. He loves her. She wouldn't. Please, please let him be right about this.
He is already smiling back, helpless and dizzy and afraid.
Roxanne unthreads her arm from Wayne's date partway up the stairs, and she's still smiling as she approaches Megamind. "Hey, you," she greets him, voice warm and almost playful. "Wow, you look…stunning, actually, I wouldn't have thought pink would be your color!"
"Me," Megamind says, abruptly noticing Roxanne's outfit. "Me? You look—you're—"
Words fail him. Speechless, for once in his life. The knee-length ultramarine dress she's wearing hugs her hips as she walks, her boots are black and elegant. And her coat—she's wearing leather. Leather and spikes. It's cropped short and studded all over with stars and glittering around the collar and shoulders with spikes, a contrast to the otherwise plain cocktail dress.
And the green pendant and earrings—
—she's in his colors. She is in his colors and she looks so good in them and what Megamind should do is smirk and possibly bring her knuckles to his lips and say something about her flirting with the forces of darkness but—he cannot breathe, cannot speak, can only shake his head and give her a thumbs-up that feels incredibly awkward.
She laughs. "I do look bad, don't I," she says, eyes twinkling at him. "Oh! And—here—"
She digs in her purse and comes up with a box and a blush under her freckles.
"I figured I might as well go all the way," she says as she opens it, embarrassment in her voice.
Megamind blinks down at the box, then huffs a startled laugh through his nose and relaxes just a little. The boutonniere is made of a felted rose with deep blue and green petals, plus some silk leaves and flowers and pearl beads.
He glances up at Roxanne, whose energy is infectious even through his haze of fear and hope. "Wow," he says, finally managing to tease a little, "I might have worn a ball gown had I known we were going to prom."
Roxanne laughs again. "I just hope you would have let me know ahead of time; I would have needed to match my tie to your dress! Hold still, let me…"
She steps close to pin the thing to his lapel, still laughing. With her head tipped forward, as close as she is, he can already catch the lovely subtle scent of her hair—and oh, he could just—
"There," she says, tugging his lapel back into place and stepping back. "Now we're coordinated! Aaaand oh goody, here come the cameras."
Megamind has seemed mildly concussed up until this point, but Roxanne says cameras and he immediately goes rigid. Aw. That wasn't what she had meant to do.
She drops her voice. "Here," she says, low, turning to stand next to him and smile out at the flashing crowd. "Put your arm around me."
"Put—excuse me?"
"Come on." She steps close, close against his side, curves her spine to fit herself there. After a moment, Megamind's cold hand comes to rest on the small of her back. Roxanne murmurs, "I'm going to put mine around you, too, yes?" At his nod, she rests her hand on his far shoulder—
—and feels him relax. Not much, not enough that she would have noticed if she wasn't standing right next to him. But enough. Wow, she…wasn't expecting that. She's touched.
"Okay," she finally says, as Wayne scoops Adam into his arms and lifts off and draws the attention of the crowd, "Let's get out of here before they start trying to—"
"Roxanne, can you tell us why you chose to put so much money on a date with the known criminal who makes a habit of kidnapping you?"
"I can," she says as Megamind bares his teeth and dons his most blazingly evil glare so he can elbow the two of them through the crowd and down the steps, "but I won't."
"Megamind, what was your reaction when you saw—"
"Roxanne Ritchi—"
"If I kiss you, will they shut up?" Megamind mutters, hurrying towards the car in lockstep with her.
Roxanne snorts. "Give them something to talk about? Tempting, but I think it would do the opposite. Here, just get into the car—no, don't go around, I'm coming in after you—"
The passenger seat of the gray sedan isn't the most spacious place he's ever sat, but Roxanne crawls in after him and yanks the door closed against the roar of the crowd, and Megamind can't help but feel like whatever bubble he's in must be the perfect size if it's between him and all that.
"Fucking vultures," Roxanne mutters, exhaling. "Selene, this is Megamind; Megamind, Selene." The driver waves at him and puts the car in gear to start inching away through the crowd. "She'll be driving us to dinner."
"And shaking any unwanted tails," Selene says cheerfully. "Don't worry, I'm very good."
Megamind frowns, tries to focus. "Unwanted tails," he echoes.
"Larissa is a capital-A Asshole," Roxanne says flatly, and yes, Megamind had in fact already noticed this. "She is conniving and dangerous and I don't trust her not to try to pull something while we're out and about. I'm hoping she doesn't; that seems excessive even for her. But…better safe than sorry, right? And—"
"Yep, got her," Selene announces. "Hold on tight, you two!"
She swerves right.
"Called it," Roxanne says grimly. "God I hate her."
In response to Megamind's questioning expression, she gives a terse little sigh and explains, "She dated a friend of mine for a while back when we were in school and she would not let him break up with her. He had to get a PFA and file a fucking restraining order."
Megamind's brows tug together. "She said you were friends."
"Because she's a lying sack of shit who probably wanted you to trust her. We were in the same quad for one semester but we were not friends."
Selene fishtails them down a side street, then calls back, "You two are awfully calm, most people freak out when I drive like this."
He frowns. "Why?" he asks, but Roxanne just snorts.
"Nah, you drive like Minion," she replies. "This is fine."
Selene makes a surprised sound in her throat. "Does Minion want a job working covert surveillance for the feds? Sounds like he'd have the driving part down pat. Okay, I think we've lost her now but let me just make sure."
Megamind has gone stiff again. "I didn't quite catch that," he says. "You work doing what with whom?"
"I used to be on a team of vehicular surveillance operatives," Selene says. "We needed to be really good at driving, ha. Offensive and defensive. Yep, we definitely lost her; damn I'm good!"
"You're the best," Roxanne agrees. "Although you could have skipped the whole freaking-out-my-extraterrestrial-friend part."
"Haha, yeah. Sorry. You're fine, don't worry," says their driver, glancing at Megamind in the rearview. "I'm mostly joking anyway. I don't know anything about any X-Files department. Not that I could tell you if I did!"
"How reassuring," Megamind says weakly. He glances over at Roxanne. "And Selene is…?"
"A friend. I've known her since we were…what, ten years old?"
"Eight," Selene says. "Third grade."
"Right! That's right. Anyway, I trust her. And she's letting us borrow her car for the evening, after we get to the restaurant, so I also owe her one."
"Pffffsh," scoffs Selene, before Megamind can reply, "you don't owe me anything. I owe you for that glowing letter of recommendation you sent, back when I was trying to get my foot in the door! Happy to finally return the favor."
Megamind gives a nervous little laugh that Roxanne absolutely does not ever want to hear from him again. God, this all has to be so weird for him.
She hesitates for a moment, but… Oh, to hell with it. She puts her hand over Megamind's balled-up fist on his leg. He startles badly and stares at her, wide-eyed, and Roxanne sends him a smile she hopes is reassuring. Megamind hasn't pulled his hand back, but he is leaning away from her, tense and grim-faced, and…
"The point is," she says, "you are safe. As safe as I can make you, I promise. I know surprises aren't really…something you look forward to, but…"
Megamind's brow furrows and he looks down at their hands. "I don't understand why you're doing this," he says. "I don't—what is—"
"I'm doing it because I want to."
"Yes, obviously, but—"
Roxanne sighs. "Look, I…have my reasons. Okay? Not least of which is that I think it's absolutely awful that they force you to do this every year. Making you put yourself on display for a total stranger? God, it's disgusting! I don't know how they justify it! And I just…" She trails off, feeling silly. "I just want you to have a good night, for once."
Megamind swallows hard. "But—Metro Man's date—this is—some kind of plot. This isn't—"
She shakes her head hard. "No. No no no, that is separate from this. You're just the icing on the scandal there; we came up with that after I approached Wayne about helping me win your date, okay? It's not like some sort of double-cross, or something, I just…I wanted to do this."
He stares at her.
"I swear. I just hate that they make you do this, and so I wanted to give you a, a nice date with someone you…well, someone you know, at least, if not trust." She shrugs hard, scowls. "I just want you to have a nice time. That's all. I swear."
His lips part and his eyes flick back down to their hands.
And then, slowly, he lowers his shoulders, and some of the cornered, hunted look goes out of his expression. Not all of it. But some.
He reaches across himself and rests the tips of his long fingers lightly on her knuckles.
"Thank you," he says.
A few minutes later, Selene turns onto West Orange, makes a sound of surprise, and parks the car with startling ease. "Okay, wow, parking space! So, Annie, you give me a call if you need me, yeah? My ride's just down the block, the car's yours for the rest of the night."
"Thanks," Roxanne says, voice warm and sincere. "I really appreciate you helping with this."
"Hey, don't worry about it. We should catch up sometime soon!"
Selene gets out of the car and disappears into the night, waving over her shoulder as she goes.
Roxanne turns to Megamind, who has been uncharacteristically quiet for the last little while. "You okay to keep going?"
He squints at her. "What?"
"I mean, I made dinner plans, but…I can take you home, now, if you aren't up for them." She pauses, then offers, "Or, or we can call Minion to come pick you up. Either way. Whatever you need to do."
After a moment—a long moment—he shakes his head. Takes a breath. "I'm. Okay. I'm okay. I'm…okay."
Roxanne waits. She knows Megamind's thinking face; he's very obviously working through something. And it's not like anyone is going to steal their reservation, so she can afford to wait with him in the car for a bit if he needs to collect himself.
It's surprising, actually. If he does say he needs to go home, she'll be disappointed, but…she actually does not think she'll feel particularly resentful. The activities she set up for tonight's date took some doing, but she wasn't kidding when she said they could call Minion and it would be fine.
To her surprise, though, Megamind finally says, "I am okay. To keep going."
"You sure? It's really okay if you aren't," Roxanne insists.
…He isn't. She can already tell; his thin face is still very drawn and tired-looking. But Megamind nods anyway, and then just as suddenly turns away and scrambles out of the car. Slams the door behind him.
Huh.
Well…that's fine. That's probably fine.
If he says he's good to go, then she'll roll with it for as long as she can stand it. Something is still wrong, and Roxanne can't be sure if it's last year, or the shock of this year, or Larissa trying to intercept them as they left City Hall—which, what the hell—or something else.
But she knows Megamind, and she knows he doesn't respond well to being pushed. Moreso even than usual, these past few months. Choosing to move forward with this is still a choice, and Roxanne is damned if she'll make it for him; she'll just…feel unexpectedly icky about it, for now, and…keep checking in, she supposes. And she'll come fully clean with him after dinner, before the next phase of their date. It'll be okay.
She takes a deep breath, and nods to herself, and swings her door open into the winter air.