A/N: Just a reminder that as I'm posting FFN is not sending out email alerts, so please be sure you've read chapters 4-7 before continuing.

Here's a hand up from that little cliff I left you hanging on.

It was after eight when I got back to Grandma's house. She was dressed for bed and going through her nightly routine. She looked surprised to see me and checked the clock on the wall.

"I wasn't expecting you back this early."

I headed straight for the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of red wine from the refrigerator. "Bad night."

"Are you still thinking about Rachel?" Grandma asked as she followed me into the kitchen.

"Not just her. Julio has a girlfriend," I said as I poured myself a large glass of wine. "They've been dating for eight months and he didn't tell me. Just brought her to Mariana's for dinner."

I'd confessed my feelings for Julio to her the day I'd arrived. She had been happy for me, not just that I'd finally admitted something she had known for six years, but that I was finally going to tell him.

Grandma looked surprised at the news. She patted me on the back as she grabbed a glass from the cabinet and poured herself some wine.

"Did you have a chance to talk to him about it?" she asked once we were seated at the kitchen table.

I shrugged. "He could tell it bothered me and kept trying to get me to tell him why. It's obvious that he knew the reason but wanted me to say the words. He was upset when I wouldn't."

"Why didn't you tell him?" Grandma asked. "If it's obvious he already knows the answer, then why not just get it off your chest?"

"Because I told myself I wasn't going to be that guy this time around. I spent years being the interloper in Stephanie's other relationship. I'm either with someone or I'm not. I'm not poaching someone else's partner, and I'm not waiting on the sidelines for my turn."

"Do you think he still loves you?"

"Probably, but I can't say for sure. He was struggling when I left. I couldn't tell if he was pissed off because he had already moved on or because it took me so long to figure it out."

We finished our wine in silence, each of us lost in our thoughts. I couldn't decide which situation was bothering me more. Knowledge of Rachel's murder made me want to vomit. Thinking about Julio felt like the air had been knocked out of me. I was thankful Grandma wasn't pushing me to talk more. She understood my limits.

"I'll take care of them," Grandma said, collecting our glasses once we'd finished our wine. "Go to bed. Try to get some sleep."

I kissed her on the cheek and said goodnight. I dragged myself upstairs, stripped down to my boxers, and crawled into bed.

Rachel, Julie, Stephanie, and Julio consumed my thoughts as I tried to sleep. They were four of the most important people in both lifetimes and now two of them weren't even alive. Stephanie was in Trenton recovering from her short-lived marriage and likely hadn't thought about me in several years, and Julio had been hiding an almost year long relationship from me. I hadn't felt this unhappy in years, and it made me question whether I should continue on my current life path.

I gave up on sleep around five and headed downstairs. I found Grandma in the kitchen finishing her coffee. She was dressed for work and looking over her daily to-do list.

"Did you get any sleep?" she asked as I poured myself a cup.

"Not really."

"What are you going to do today?" she asked. "If you need something to distract you, I can put you to work."

I welcomed her suggestion, and she wrote out a list of projects that needed done at her house and some at the bakery. After a quick breakfast, I got dressed and reviewed the task list. I replaced light bulbs and put new batteries in smoke detectors, cleaned the tops of cabinets and shelves that Grandma couldn't reach, and power washed the outside of the house and the concrete patio out back. I took a quick lunch break before weeding the flower beds around the house and cleaning out the garage. By the time I'd finished the house list, it was almost four in the afternoon, and I had mostly avoided thinking about Rachel and Julio. I was standing in the kitchen drinking a glass of water when Grandma came home.

"The house looks terrific," Grandma said, putting her purse down on the counter. "You worked hard while I was gone. Did it help?"

"Yeah, it really did. I'll take care of the bakery list tomorrow."

"You don't have to unless you want to," she said. "I didn't expect to put you to work on your vacation."

"It needs done and I want to do it," I reassured her. "Do you want help with dinner?"

"I have Bible study at church at five and then we're going to dinner afterwards. You could join us."

"Thanks, but I'll just go over to Mariana's," I said, keeping to myself the long list of undesirable things I'd rather do instead.

Grandma chuckled. "I figured as much."

I showered and changed into fresh clothes while I checked my phone for the first time that day. I found two missed calls, two voicemails, and five text messages. The missed calls and voicemails were from Julio and Mariana. I had three texts from Julio, one from Mariana, and one from Kinsey.

Kinsey's text said he was about five minutes from family annihilation if his brother didn't stop arguing with his father about politics. Mariana's text and voicemail were both asking what my issue had been yesterday because she didn't believe the story Julio gave her. Julio's voicemail and text messages were pleas to call him.

I wasn't ready to talk to Julio, so I texted Mariana instead.

I'm coming to your house for dinner. Grandma has Bible study.

Her reply came in less than five minutes later.

Fine, but you'd better tell me what your problem was yesterday.

I heaved an annoyed sigh, not sure if I wanted dinner bad enough to sit through her interrogation. She had inherited Grandma's tenacity when it came to finding out information. On the other hand, I could trust her with the information, and it would be nice to talk to someone closer in age.

Fine. What time?

Dinner is in an hour but come over whenever you want.

Deciding I had nothing better to do, I headed downstairs to leave. I could tell her about everything with Julio before dinner. I just hoped the girls would serve as a distraction to end the conversation while we ate.

I was halfway out the door when a white Toyota Camry pulled up to the curb in front of the house. I stopped short of closing the door, waiting to see who was behind the wheel. It only took a few seconds for Julio to climb out of the car and make his way up the drive.

"I've been trying to get ahold of you all day," he said in an annoyed tone.

"I was busy, and I'd left my phone upstairs," I replied. "I'm heading out to Mariana's for dinner."

Julio shook his head and put a hand on my chest, pushing me back into the house. "Not until we've talked."

I closed the front door once Julio was inside and leaned back against it. Julio stood in the middle of the entryway with his hands on his hips and stared at me, clearly expecting me to start the conversation.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Don't play dumb, Carlos. You know damn well what I want."

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" I asked, deciding he wasn't owed a satisfactory answer until I got one for myself. "You've been seeing her for eight months and instead of telling me on the phone or in an email, you decided to spring her on me in front of our friends. You were pissed when I did that to you, and I'd only been seeing Stephanie for a few weeks."

Julio put his hands up in surrender. "I know, I know. I'm sorry. Okay? It's just—I'm a pussy, alright?" He started pacing the floor and rubbed the back of his neck. "I never thought it would get this far with her. I only went on the date because my buddy's girlfriend kept bugging me about it. Then I got to know her, and she was really nice. It was fun just to hang out with her. The sex wasn't bad, and I thought it would just be until I left for Afghanistan. But then she said she wanted to keep things going while I was gone. I thought she'd end things before I got back. I knew I needed to break up with her, but she kept being so fucking nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings."

"That still doesn't explain why you didn't tell me."

Julio made a frustrated noise and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That is part of the reason. I kept thinking it wouldn't last. And I never really thought I had a chance with you again. Especially after you told me about Stephanie. I didn't think it would bother you."

I had nothing to say in response to that, mostly because I could understand it.

"Your turn," Julio said after a few seconds of silence. When I didn't say anything, he took several steps forward and stopped about a foot in front of me.

"I need to hear you say it," he murmured, not breaking eye contact.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I shouldn't say it. He had a nice girlfriend who didn't deserve this.

"It doesn't change anything."

Julio took another step closer and braced his arms against the door on either side of my body. "Yeah, it does," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. We were so close I would barely need to move to kiss him. "I need to hear you say it." He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. "Please, baby."

And with that final plea, he kicked down the rest of the wall I'd been desperately trying to keep in place.

"I'm in love with you," I whispered, my lips brushing against his as I spoke.

Julio let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob before crashing his mouth against mine. The kiss was deep and desperate, each of us holding the other as though we were afraid one of us would float away. Julio eventually moved his mouth to my neck, and I groaned at the sensation of his tongue on my jugular. One of his hands slipped between us and started working at my belt. I quickly remembered why I shouldn't be doing this and pulled back.

"You're with—,"

"We broke up," Julio said. "She knew about high school and after seeing us at dinner last night, she said it was clear we were still in love with each other, and she wasn't going to try to compete with that. I dropped her off at the airport before I came here."

Another miracle attributed to St. Tori. "And if she hadn't broken up with you?"

"I would have ended it when we got back to Texas. Because she was right. No one can compete with you."

When I'd come back to this life, the road I'd been on was a perfectly straight path to Stephanie Plum. Now there was a major fork in the road, and I had to choose a path. If I went down this path with Julio, there was no going back to Stephanie, at least not romantically. If I decided to stay on the path towards Stephanie, there was no going back to Julio, and I was pretty sure that would mean losing him completely.

I considered my feelings and what it would mean to walk away from a relationship with Stephanie. It had been uncomfortable to realize Stephanie wouldn't grow much as a person over the decade between encounters. She would still be impulsive, reckless, and indecisive, and I would still be too much for her. It had been evident in my last life that I'd been more in love with her than she was with me. I'd told myself I could live with that, but I wasn't sure that was true anymore.

Julio was a different story. A relationship with me had never once intimidated him. It had been all he ever wanted. I'd seen him change in just a few years, becoming a more confident, mature person than Stephanie had ever been. Outside of a couple of past exceptions, I didn't worry about whether Julio would do something reckless and get himself killed. If I told Julio I wanted to be with him, he would never look at another person or shy away from the idea of commitment. He loved me as much as I loved him. We would have our issues, but I trusted him to work on them with me. It was painful to admit I couldn't say the same about Stephanie.

With the full knowledge that I was changing my life in a major, irrevocable way, I grabbed Julio's hand and pulled him upstairs to my bedroom. We'd barely shut the door before we started pulling our clothes off. We couldn't get enough of each other, touching and kissing every inch we could reach. There could have been a full SWAT raid on the house, and we wouldn't have noticed.

"I've missed you," he said once we'd finished.

"Me too."

I rolled on my side to face him and ran my hand over his chest. He had gotten several tattoos in the six years since I'd last seen him naked.

There were several small symbols on his chest, abdomen, and biceps, though I had no clue what they meant. There was a larger tattoo on his left ribcage that consisted of a skull and next to the skull were several words written in a circle in different fonts that I was pretty sure were from a book series he liked. There was something written in Arabic on his upper right thigh.

"What does that say?" I asked, pointing to the thigh tattoo.

He turned his head to look at me, a shit-eating grin on his face. "It's your name in Arabic."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "How long have you had that?"

"A couple of years. I got it back before we started talking again."

"How did you explain it to the women you've slept with?"

"Said it was an Arabic word meant to bring me luck in love," he said, the grin still plastered on his face. "And it looks like it worked too."

I snorted softly and shook my head. "What do the others mean?"

"These are ancient runes. They stand for strength, protection, and growth," he said, pointing out each one. "This one is a Berber tattoo symbolizing the free man. I got it after I quit drinking to represent my freedom from alcohol. My grandmother's family is Berber, so it also connects me with some of my heritage."

I traced his tattoos with a finger, making him shudder. "They look good on you."

He was quiet while I continued to trace his tattoos. I looked up to say something but stopped at the expression on his face.

"I never thought I'd have you again," he said softly. "I didn't think you'd ever —," his voice broke, and I watched his Adam's apple move as he swallowed hard. "I never thought you'd love me back."

"I've loved you for a long time. I just couldn't admit it until a couple of years ago," I told him.

Julio's eyebrows went up in surprise. "A couple of years ago?"

"Last time we were both here. That's when I finally stopped lying to myself."

"Why didn't you say something then?" he asked.

"I wasn't sure if you still felt the same way. I didn't want to lose you again."

"Then why tell me now?"

"Over the summer, I was captured and tortured for three days. I kept myself sane by thinking about you. It made me realize I didn't want to risk that something could happen to you, and you'd never know how I felt."

Julio ran a finger over a scar on my chest. "I can't imagine you being tortured."

"I'd been through it once before. At least I knew what to expect."

"It happened the same way last time?" he asked incredulously. "Why didn't you change it?"

"As much fun as the experience was the first time around, I did try to avoid it. But no matter what I did, it was either going to result in me being tortured or five people getting killed. I had to be able to live with myself after it was over."

He groaned and pulled me closer. "You don't have any more of those coming up, do you?"

"There's an incident where I got captured and the guy stuck a knife in my abdomen, but I got away. It wasn't too bad. I'm pretty sure I can avoid that one."

"You'd better," he murmured as he rubbed small circles on my lower back.

We stayed like that for a while and Julio had just made the move to start up round two when my phone started ringing. Swearing, I got up and dug through the clothes on the floor to find my jeans.

"When are you coming over?" Mariana asked once I answered. "Dinner's about done."

"Sorry. Julio stopped by just as I was about to leave and we got sidetracked," I told her. I heard Julio chuckle softly.

"Bring him with you, unless he and Tori have other plans," she said impatiently. "I invited Eduardo and Louisa as well. They're on their way."

I hung up and turned back to Julio. 'You're expected at Mariana's."

"Yeah, I figured," he said. He begrudgingly climbed out of bed, and we started the process of redressing.

"So, are we, you know, together?" Julio asked nervously as he watched me pull on my jeans.

"I should hope so. I just gave you some of my best work," I said with a smile.

"What about Stephanie?"

I couldn't blame him for being apprehensive after listening to me talk about her two years ago.

"I can still be her friend, work with her, and watch out for her. I don't have to be in a romantic relationship with her to do that."

"Do you still love her?" he asked as he sat down on the bed to put on his shoes.

I nodded. "Yes, but not in the same way. I want to be with you, if that's what you're worried about."

Julio wasn't the only one relieved to hear the words out loud. Any lingering doubts I had about walking away from a life with Stephanie had also vanished.

Julio pulled me towards him and rested his forehead against my abdomen. "I'll never make you regret it."

I rubbed a hand over his head. "I know, and I hope you feel the same way."

We were on the road to Mariana's five minutes later in Julio's rental car. He was driving with his left hand and had his right hand on my leg. It reminded me of the last day we had together in Miami before I'd gone back to Newark, and I smiled at the memory.

"Can we tell them?" Julio asked as we got closer to our destination. "I know we have to be careful, but I don't think they'd tell anyone."

"Yeah, we'll tell them tonight. I'm not ready to tell my parents, but we can tell Grandma. Don't Ask, Don't Tell ends sometime in September. I'd rather not risk our jobs, especially this close to the policy ending."

"My sisters will be cool about it. Not sure about my parents, so I'll hold off on them."

"Will Tori be an issue?" I asked.

"Nah. She told me this morning that she'd never say anything to anyone because she didn't want me to lose my job. We're just going to say I realized I wasn't over my ex and that was the reason we broke up."

Which was the truth minus the incriminating information. I should send St. Tori a gift.

We pulled up to Mariana's house a few minutes later and parked behind Eduardo's work truck on the street. Louisa's green Honda Civic was parked in the driveway behind Mariana's minivan.

"How should we tell them?" Julio asked as we walked up to the door. "Just come out and say 'hey, we're gay' or should we start making out in front of them?"

"I think there's a middle ground in there somewhere."

We let ourselves inside and Mariana's voice ordered us into the dining room. The girls had already eaten and were playing in the other room, leaving the adults to enjoy dinner in relative peace. We helped ourselves to pork chops in a lime marinade, crispy potatoes, grilled zucchini, and salad.

"What's Tori doing today?" Mariana asked Julio as she passed him the salad bowl.

"She's on her way back to Texas. We broke up last night."

Mariana's fork clattered on her plate. "Seriously?! What happened?"

Julio looked over at me, clearly hoping I'd help him out. "You're better at this stuff than I am," I said, patting him on the back.

Julio let out a nervous laugh and started fidgeting with the napkin in his lap. "So, uh, back in high school, like junior and senior years, we were together," he said, gesturing to the two of us. "I'd told Tori about us and last night she said it was pretty clear we were still in love with each other, and she couldn't compete."

For the first time in history, there was complete silence from the group. My heart stuttered briefly, wondering if we'd somehow misjudged our friends. My family.

"So, are you two together now?" Mariana asked cautiously.

"Yes," I replied, keeping my expression and tone neutral, taking in everyone's reactions. To my surprise, the mood around the table visibly relaxed and everyone turned their attention back to their plates.

"It's about damn time," Eduardo said, shaking his head. "Jesus Christ, I thought you two were never going to get your shit together."

"You guys had me stressed out last night," Mariana said as she cut up her pork chop. "I was afraid you were going to stop talking again like when you broke up that one Thanksgiving."

"She was already planning some sort of intervention," Paolo said. "She was up until midnight writing out a list of things to say to both of you."

Julio and I looked at each other in stunned silence. "You knew about us?" I asked once I found the ability to speak again.

Mariana rolled her eyes. "Yes, you weren't as sneaky as you thought you were. I mean, I didn't know you two were together junior year, but definitely the last half of senior year. You," she said, pointing at me with her fork. "changed a lot around Christmas that year, and then Julio broke up with Jasmine. And sometimes you came home smelling like sex after hanging out at his house."

"I knew you should've showered before you left," Julio muttered.

"I thought maybe Grandma told you," I said, ignoring Julio's comment.

"Mom knew?" Mariana asked, clearly annoyed. "I can't believe you told her and not us!"

"She figured it out in high school, and we've talked about it over the years. She knew back then I was in love with him, even though I couldn't see it."

"We're happy for you," Paolo said, squeezing Mariana's hand as she opened her mouth to speak, probably planning to say more about Grandma knowing before her. "And for us, too. Now we can stop pretending we didn't know something was up and wondering if you'd ever get back together."

"Amen," Eduardo said.

"Thanks," I said. "But we need you to keep this to yourselves. We'll tell Grandma, but we aren't ready for our parents to know. We still have to worry about the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy."

"I thought they just passed a law to overturn that," Louisa said.

"They did, but it's still in effect while they get everything figured out. We could still get discharged in the meantime if they found out about us," I told her.

"We won't tell anyone," Mariana promised, looking around the table at everyone else for confirmation. They all nodded in agreement. "We don't want to risk your jobs. And it isn't our place to share your business anyway."

"Since when?" I asked. "Telling other people's business is practically a religion around here."

Mariana gave me the finger as she chewed her food.

We migrated to the living room after helping clean up the kitchen and talked for the next hour. Julio and I were sitting together on a loveseat, his leg pressed against mine and his arm around my shoulder. It wasn't overly affectionate, but it felt oddly intimate to be so close to him around other people. Eduardo cracked a couple of jokes about coming out of the closet and recommendations for knee pads. Louisa smacked him on the back of the head and called him an asshole, thus solidifying her place in the family.

Julio dropped me off at Grandma's before heading back to the hotel to get his things and check out. It was quiet and nearly dark downstairs when I opened the door, save for a small light that Grandma always kept on when she knew someone was coming back late. I could hear her moving around upstairs and headed up to her room.

"I'm back," I said, knocking on her open bedroom door. She was sitting at the small desk in her bedroom writing on a legal pad and turned at the sound of my knock.

"How was dinner?" she asked.

"Good," I said as I sat down on the end of the bed. "Julio stopped by after you left. He and his girlfriend broke up last night because she knew about us in high school and said it was obvious we were still in love with each other. I finally told him how I feel and we're together now. He's at the hotel packing his stuff, and he'll stay with us for the rest of the trip."

Grandma made an excited noise and clapped her hands together. "Oh, Carlos! I'm so happy for you. I'm relieved you've worked things out."

"Thanks. We told Mariana, Paolo, Eduardo, and Louisa. Julio's going to tell his sisters, but we aren't telling anyone else right now. We can't risk the Army finding out about our relationship until they lift the policy against gay and bisexual soldiers."

"That's a wise decision," Grandma agreed. "I'll be honest that I don't know how your mother will take the news. She has always been a more devout Catholic than me."

"I know. I've heard how she talks about other people when they or their relatives have come out. I'll be prepared for it when I tell her."

"I hope it isn't necessary. I hate the idea of you and Lola being at odds, but I'll always be in your corner."

I felt my throat tighten and reached over to squeeze her hand. "Thanks, Grandma."

She was still awake when Julio arrived forty-five minutes later. He had barely been able to put his suitcase down before she was all over him.

"Oh, Julio!" she exclaimed, pulling him into a fierce hug. "It's so good to see you. I'm so happy for you and Carlos. Now, tell me, what do you want to eat while you're here?"

Julio had returned her hug with equal enthusiasm and moaned at the idea of her food. "Grandma, you know I'll eat anything you cook. But I dream about your ropa vieja."

Julio and Grandma had hit it off the first time he had come over to the house our freshman year. It made even more sense after Grandma told me about her past life and how Julio reminded her of one of her sons. Julio had spent about half his time in high school at our house. He and Jaime had never gotten along, and it only got worse once his grandmother's dementia reached the point that she didn't recognize him any longer. Julio had called her Grandma from day one and they shared a grandparent-grandchild relationship like it had always been that way.

I watched them talk and was glad we'd have a few days together with our friends and family where we could relax and be ourselves. I tried not to think about the reception our relationship would receive from other members of my family. My mother was my biggest concern, followed by Grandma Rosa and then my father. I knew they likely wouldn't approve, and I'd hear several versions of you're-going-to-hell-this-is-a-sin-you-need-to-go-to-church. I just hoped it wouldn't mean losing my relationship with them. Because if forced to choose between them, Julio would win every time.