A/N: There's a dead body, and banter flying around. Who's writing this mess…oh. On with the show. Week of the Living Bernie, Part 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

"I'm not going to like it? There is a dead body, found by my ex-boyfriend-" Sarah began.

"Is he really an ex-boyfriend, or more of a guy you dated, a little?" Chuck asked.

Sarah threw up her hands. "I have no idea. We texted for a while before we went out. I didn't date anyone else during that time." Chuck grinned at her as she chuckled. "What?" Chuck shook his head as he walked over and found an empty barrel. She was following. "No, what did that mean?" Chuck grabbed the barrel and brought it back to the dead body. She grabbed his arm, making him look at her, as he placed the barrel next to the body.

"Listen, my idea is simple: We put the body in the barrel and, after they leave, roll him out of here," Chuck said. He went to move his arm, but her hand was still holding it. "You don't like the plan?"

"You know exactly why I'm stopping this," Sarah told him. "Chuck, I'm not that woman. I don't cheat. If I'm dating someone, then I'm dating just that person."

"Okay," Chuck said. "Will you help me with the body?"

Sarah sighed, moving to help him as the two worked to put the body into the barrel. Fortunately, rigor mortis had not set in. Or it had and the body was past it. Or the wine kept the joints loose. Regardless, the body was bending.

"You know I wouldn't cheat on you, right?" Sarah asked.

"I know," Chuck answered. "His arm isn't fitting," he muttered.

"Chuck," Sarah said, throwing down the arm in protest. "What did you mean when I said he was the only one I was dating?"

Chuck looked her right in the eye. "Citi Alpha," Chuck replied. Sarah looked confused. "Bradly told me about a case you needed to work on, or so he thought – Citi Alpha."

"What the hell is that?" Sarah asked.

"He mispronounced what you told him," Chuck said. "What you told him was you needed to see about Ceti Alpha."

"Oh," Sarah said. She turned back to the body to try and force it inside.

"Oh?" Chuck asked, grinning as he helped her. "That's all you had? Oh?"

She stopped what she was doing and turned to him. "It wasn't like it was a date," she said, and couldn't help herself as she stepped toward him.

"No, not at all, because of that whole we shouldn't date thing," Chuck replied, looking into her eyes.

"Do you want to hear that I'd rather just spend the evening watching a movie I didn't care anything about, just to be near my friend, instead of going out with Bradly?" Sarah asked.

"I feel like everyone in that sentence, but you, caught a stray," Chuck muttered.

"Want me to kiss it and make it feel better?" Sarah asked.

"Desperately," Chuck admitted. "Also, yes, I would love to hear that you'd rather-"

Her arms slid around his neck. "I'd rather watch a movie with you that I don't care about, than go out with Bradly," she told him.

"Star Trek II is a masterpiece," Chuck argued.

"Take the win, nerd," she told him. He started to respond, when they heard Bradly talking loudly, coming toward them. "Shit."

"Trust me?" he asked. She gave him a look. "Right." He put his hands on her hips, spun her around. Putting the dead man's hand on her far side, he slid his arm behind her, and held the dead man's arm in place. She took a deep breath, took her right arm, reached across her, and put her hand over the dead man's hand. It looked like they were standing there, his arm around her.

They both put on smiling faces as Bradly walked up to them with the board. "Ohh, allow me to introduce the noted wine vlogger, Nigel Woolley…."

Chuck tried to mouth Lindsey, which Bradly misinterprets.

"Lentil!" Bradly blurts out. Bradly turns to the gruff looking man that is leading the procession. "Allow me to introduce Chester Harcourt."

"Never heard of you," Harcourt said, as he shook Chuck's hand. Luckily no one noticed the hand remained around Sarah's waist.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I don't see you reading much in the electronics industry," Chuck said. "I mainly publish to those readers, as they are the new money, and have a different palate than traditional wine connoisseurs," Chuck explained.

"And this is his assistant, Miss Walker," Bradly said, trying to steer the conversation.

"Pleasure to meet you," Harcourt said, taking her hand to kiss it. Chuck rolled his eyes, and Sarah gave him a look. As she did, the dead person's hand swung out, and she quickly grabbed it.

"The pleasure is mine," Sarah said. "We don't want to keep you from your tour."

"Oh, you're not keeping us at all," Harcourt said.

"Actually, there were some things we wanted to show you," Bradly said. Harcourt frowned, but nodded.

"Pleasure to meet you," Harcourt said again as the gaggle of bankers headed off.

Chuck sat there against the barrel. "Does that ever work?"

"If you care about someone's bank account more than the person, then yes," Sarah said.

"Thank God your loaded," Chuck muttered. She elbowed him in the side, making him wince. "When they leave, let's wheel our friend out of here."

"Gladly," Sarah said.

}o{

Sarah and Chuck were rolling the barrel, with its lid in place, out of the cellar. "Why in the hell did the body show back up here?" Sarah muttered. "Sabotage?"

"That's only one of the many questions I have," Chuck agreed. "Such as, why was he killed, and with what?"

"Don't forget the most important question," Sarah reminded him. "Who is he?"

"Well, since the body seems to be ours now, I have named him. So I guess we have to keep him," Chuck told her.

"Oh, God, what did you name him?" Sarah asked. "And we are going directly to the police with this body once this whole thing is solved."

"We're probably gonna have to loop Casey in on this to not get in trouble, aren't we?" Chuck asked. Sarah winced. "Bernie."

"Who's Bernie?" Chuck gave her a look. "OH! The body in the barrel." She rolled her eyes. "Let me guess, from Weekend with Bernie?"

"It was that or The Trouble with Harry," Chuck admitted. "However, that's a Hitchcock film, and… well… I have never looked at a bird the same since reading the book." Sarah snorted. "You don't want to know what The Stand did to me."

Chuck quickly stopped, and the two set the barrel upright. They were approached by the woman they'd seen earlier in the day with Arnold, the horse. "Shake that any harder and you'll kill it for sure," she said, glaring at the two of them.

Chuck cleared his throat and began to speak when she cut in and continued. "But then who said students of nature knew anything about handling wine?"

"And here I thought your forte was horses – or has Arnold got his back up again?" Sarah asked.

"When you run an estate of twelve thousand acres, you learn to be good at lots of things. You must be here for Claude. I should have guessed that before."

Chuck and Sarah shared a look. "So you must be…" Chuck trailed off.

"Alexis Vandermeer," the older woman said, by way of introduction, clearly not happy at not being recognized.

"Vandermeer," Sarah said, fighting off a sigh. "Then you're…"

"His mother," Alexis said. "I'm afraid so. Somebody had to teach the poor creature how to make wine. You with the bank that's hoping to cash in on that so-called cabernet?"

"What if we are?" Sarah asked. Chuck was afraid a fist fight might break out yet.

"You'll be throwing away a lot of good money, that's all," Alexis told them, contempt in her voice. "Land on this side of the valley is too sandy. One freak harvest of good grapes is not going to change that. I warned him it was just a matter of time before the soil gave out, when he insisted on buying this place. You can see what he thinks of my opinion."

"I would think it is safe to assume you don't wish him every success," Sarah said.

Alexis drew up and replied. "I busted my ass to build something I could pass onto Claude. And he threw it back at me. What would you suggest I wish for now?" Alexis walked past them and put her hand on the cellar door to go inside. "If I were you, I'd put that cask inside. It will draw flies in the sun like that." With that, Alexis went inside.

"She does have a point," Chuck conceded.

"She does," Sarah replied, "but I don't have to like it." Chuck nodded, and the two continued to roll the cask. After a few minutes, they approached an open shed filled with machinery. "Okay, let's take a break." The two sat in the shade, the barrel behind them. "It would seem Claude and his mother have a very thick and stormy past."

"I truly wonder how many people do with their parents," Chuck mused. He felt Sarah's eyes on him. "It seems everyone I know had someone either leave them, or treat them in a way such that they wish they would have left." Sarah rubbed a hand on Chuck's shoulder. He looked over at her. "Serious question; you okay with all of this? You and Bradly?"

"Fine," Sarah assured him. "I'm just wondering why in the hell anyone would place a dead body in wine?"

"Ruin the batch?" Chuck offered.

"There has to be some reason," Sarah said. Pausing, she looked behind her. "Chuck… where's Bernie?"

"Damn it," Chuck swore. He jumped up and ran around the shed, finding the barrel rolling downhill and heading toward a white fence. The barrel crashed through the fence and kept rolling. "SARAH!"

The two rushed down the hill, watching as the barrel rolled down the road, and came to a stop. They hurried down the hill, and as they got to the bottom, they find that what had stopped the barrel was a man's foot. He was standing there, staring at them.

"Did you lose something?" he nearly growled, with a thick German accent.

"Yes, that barrel," Chuck said. "And we know we owe you for the fence."

"Yes, we'll pay for the fence," Sarah said, running up beside Chuck.

The man spit on the ground, glaring at the two. "Don't play the fool with me. I know how Vandermeer loves to taunt me with their success. So he sends you with his precious cabernet, in my nose to rub it, ja?"

"Excuse me?" Chuck asked.

"I've been growing my grapes for forty years. Mein liebe Kinder. Like my father, and my grandfather along the Rhine. And that, that know-nothing, moves into the same soil, under the same sun, and grows a cabernet good enough to die for," the man nearly spat.

"You're not a fan of his expansion?" Chuck asked.

"Nature has played a cruel joke on me. But you tell Claude Vandermeer, Werner Shuman doesn't need his prizes or his wine." Werner concluded by stamping his foot on the barrel. The lid popped off, causing Bernie's arm to pop out, but Werner didn't notice, as he was walking to his truck.

Chuck and Sarah hurried over, stuffed the arm back in, and put the lid back on. They up-righted the barrel as Werner climbed into his truck.

"I don't suppose there's an easier way back up the hill?" Chuck asked Werner.

"Yes," Werner replied, nodding. He started the truck and drove off, leaving Chuck and Sarah standing there with the cask.

"Sarah, you take me to the nicest places," Chuck told her. Sarah shook her head, and began to roll the barrel. "I never knew going to wine country was going to be such a workout."

"Will you hush and help me?" she asked. Chuck jogged over to her and helped her push.

}o{

"They sure do like to party," Sarah grumbled. She, Chuck, and Claude were all siting on the floor in the middle of an aisle leaning against the barrel listening to the distant revelry.

"I saw Harcourt with his shirt unbuttoned, and his tie tied around his head like a hat," Chuck told her. Sarah shuddered.

"At least they like the wine," Claude said, sounding defeated. "What are we going to do with this body?"

"Somehow use it to find out who is trying to use it against you," Sarah told him. "What about Werner?"

"Well, he's not one of my bigger fans, but I can't believe he's capable of killing anyone. My mother, on the other hand…" Claude trailed off. Chuck and Sarah shared a look. "When I was nine, I set up a lemonade stand. My mother told me the key to good lemonade was to scratch the sugar, and double the salt. And when I had a paper route, she used to go through my papers every day and take out the funnies."

"See," Chuck mouthed to Sarah. She waved him off as Claude continued.

"She's always had this problem with me succeeding, and she knows that this wine is my chance to finally make it on my own. I wouldn't put anything past her. Not after watching her drive my father, Arnold, to his grave."

Sarah started to reply when she heard Bradly talking loudly about being out of wine, coming in their direction. "Get that cask out of here," she told Claude. Chuck and I will try and distract them.

"What are we gonna do?" Chuck asked.

"No idea… random, crazy ideas are kind of your department," Sarah told him, as she headed up the aisle toward the voices.

"That's totally fair," Chuck said, following her.

They found Harcourt following behind Bradly, drunk as a lord. All the members were. "Vandemeer made a damn find brew, don't you think so, Lentil?" Harcourt said, gesturing to Chuck. Chuck followed Harcourt's case, turning to look behind him. Sarah elbowed him, and he quickly remembered Bradly calling him Lentil earlier.

"Oh yes," Chuck replied. "It is in a class all its own."

"I agree," Harcourt replied. "But we're running just a little bit low. I seem to remember you two had a cask earlier."

"Well, it's for research," Chuck told them. "Besides, you wouldn't want to partake too much.

"Boys!" Harcourt said. "Apparently, we're being cut off." The men moved forward, and Chuck wanted to roll his eyes. He knew that even though there were eight of them, Sarah could take them down in minutes… seconds, really, in their current condition.

"HELP!" they heard. Everyone turned and headed down the aisle until they found Claude. He was lying on the ground, holding his head.

"What happened?" Chuck asked.

"Someone clubbed me, and took the cask," Claude told them.

"A likely story, they're trying to cut us off," Harcourt slurred. "Everyone, find the cask, and let's open it."

The eight drunk men took off, weaving through the aisles, looking for the cask.

Chuck and Sarah both took off, searching for the cask, albeit for a different purpose. The two split up, hoping to give themselves a better chance. As Chuck ran down the aisle, he came to a complete stop, stunned at seeing what he thought was a monk.

Chuck began to chase after him, but a board member weaved into his way, and the two went tumbling down.

Further into the cellar, Sarah was dodging bodies that were on the floor. It was obvious they had overindulged and, after running, had to lie down. Most of them that she saw were snoring.

She thought she saw the cask, turned the corner, and crashed directly into a monk. She hit the ground, looking up at him. He hurried away, and as she tried to get up to give chase, another member of the board crashed into her.

She untangled herself from the drunk board member and rushed over to where she thought she had seen the cask. When she got to the spot, there was no sign of it, or the monk. She heard footsteps behind her and turned to see Bradly. "Tell me you found it," Sarah said.

"No, but what I have found is each board member, either asleep or passed out on the floor," Bradly told her. "I also found your partner. One of the board members ran into him."

"Probably should have turned the lights on," Sarah admitted.

"Probably," Bradly agreed.

}o{

The four gathered outside of the cellar a few minutes later. "Bernie's gone," Chuck said, shaking his head. "I have no idea where he could be."

"I've got to deal with the board," Bradly told them.

"Let's get some sleep and tomorrow, we can deal with the body," Sarah suggested. "Chuck and I will be back in the morning."

"No hurry," Bradly told them, and glanced back at the cellar. "I'm pretty sure that bunch will be gone, and tomorrow will be a day of paperwork for me. Provided that body doesn't show back up tomorrow or the next day, we're good."

"Fair enough," Chuck agreed. "I need a shower and to sleep in my own bed. Today has been a lot." Sarah nodded, wondering if Chuck was talking about the case, or what he had learned about her and Bradly.

}o{

She came out of the bedroom, wearing his dress shirt, softly padding across the living room. He was sitting on the floor, his back against the couch. He was staring at the TV. A crackling fire was on it; it was too hot to have a real fire. He was sitting there, shirtless, wearing only a pair of soft pants, his mind seemingly a million miles away.

"Sir, are you trying to seduce me?" she asked softly. He turned to her, a smile on his face, and began to speak. At catching sight of her, she heard and saw his breath hitch. She couldn't help how much she loved what that did to him.

Sarah wasn't stupid. She knew she was attractive. She had been told it many times. She had seen men react many times. It didn't matter how long she lived, no one would ever make her heart soar the way Chuck Bartowski would when he looked at her. She walked over, sat down beside him, and cuddled against his arm.

"I need to tell you some things," she began.

"Sarah, you don't owe me anything," Chuck told her.

"I appreciate that, but sir, this is for me." Chuck nodded. "I need to… explain, set the mood, if you will."

"Okay," Chuck said, confused.

"When I was in the CAT Squad, we were young women, doing dangerous jobs. We were sent to take out some of the worst of the worst," Sarah began. She sighed against him, and then sat up, and looked him in the eyes. "Chuck, there were so many missions that we thought we weren't going to make it. It's why the fact one of us was a traitor hurt so bad. We had this sisterhood bonded in blood, and in our celebrations afterward."

She was silent for a second, shrugged, and then blurted out, "Carina always said I was the wildest one of us."

"Carina?" Chuck asked, his eyes wide. "The same Carina I know?"

"Yep," Sarah said, nodding. "We were so damn young, Chuck." He nodded, encouraging her to go on. "We were alone, just the four of us. We went in, did what we had to do, and got out. And for the record, I didn't sleep with any of the bad guys."

"Okay," Chuck said, confused.

"However, after a mission…" she trailed off. "I have been known to drink all night, dance, find me a guy… and enjoy myself."

"Okay, wait, stop," Chuck said.

"Chuck, this is important," Sarah protested.

"Okay, fine, but you don't get to do this to yourself," he said, firmly. "If a man did that, did everything that you just said, what would his buddies say, huh?"

"They'd probably high-five him, and tell him good job," Sarah admitted.

"Don't degrade yourself, or put yourself down, because of choices you made that were your choice and your choice alone," Chuck told her.

She smiled at him. "You're sweet," she told him. "You're literally defending my honor against me."

"Well, I don't like the tone you're taking with yourself," Chuck told her.

"I'm not ashamed of my past, and I'm not apologizing for it," Sarah told him. "I'm trying to paint a picture of what I knew when I was in the CIA." Chuck nodded. "God, we were lonely, we only had ourselves. We thought we might die, and for what? To take out a bad guy that literally would be replaced by someone else six months later?"

"So, you let off steam," Chuck said with a shrug.

"I'm not trying to say I was constantly boinking guys right and left. What I'm saying is my understanding of what a relationship was at that time consisted of enjoy it today, because there might not be a tomorrow."

"That sounds… bad," Chuck said, struggling for the right words.

"Zondra was legit worried about me," Sarah admitted. "When the missions were over, I drank… a lot." She was silent for a second. "I just wanted to numb what we had done. Yeah, we took out a bad guy. Yeah, we had saved lives. But…"

"You took a life sometimes," Chuck said softly. Sarah nodded.

"When I left the CIA, I was totally aware that I had not had what anyone would call a normal relationship," Sarah admitted. "So, I intended not to be… me, in future relationships. I was not going to be the person I was in the CIA."

Chuck's jaw twitched. She sighed, and shook her head, grinning. He began to laugh. "I'm sorry."

"I think you know what happened," she said.

"Well, I would hate to assume anything, so you really need to finish this story," Chuck told her.

She rolled her eyes, but continued, grinning. "I wasn't going to be the person I was in the CIA. I was going to date men who had a real career in front of them."

"Ooo, strike one against me," Chuck said.

"Chuck, if you had ever asked me out, I would have gone in a hot second," Sarah admitted. His eyes widened. "It's true, okay?"

"Okay," he said, nodding.

"I was going to go out with men who weren't dangerous, and weren't spontaneous," she continued.

"Oh, there's a notch in my column," Chuck said, grinning. "I'm not dangerous."

Sarah shook her head, sighed, and then spun on her knee nearest him, straddling him, her left hand stroking his cheek. "You're the most dangerous man I know," she said softly, and kissed his cheek.

"Oh, God," he nearly moaned.

"And I was going to be calm, collected, and take things slowly," Sarah finished.

"Sarah Walker, when you decide to go for something, you go for it," Chuck told her.

"Yeah, I do," Sarah told him. "Lift your butt up."

He did, confused, and then he felt his pants yanked down. "Sarah?"

"Hush, I've made a decision. You don't mind, do you?" He shook his head. "See, my biggest problem with that whole idea was I was me around you, and you liked me for me."

"I did… and I do," Chuck said. He dove in for a kiss.

When she pulled away, she began to unbutton her shirt. "And mom knew it, and that's why she shoved Bradly my way. The guy she thought that was exactly what I was saying I was wanting."

"And you didn't want him?" Chuck asked. Sarah shook her head. "But you couldn't let mom win, could you?" Sarah shook her head, and peeled off her shirt. "I had more to say, but my brain does not 'member any words."

"I love you, Chuck," she said, diving into a kiss. She pulled away, and looking into his eyes, stroked his cheek. "And you love me for me, and I don't think you know what that does to me inside."

"Why do I think you're going to do your best to show me?" Chuck asked. The lecherous grin on her face told him he was right.

A/N: I wonder what happens next? Oh…OH

Next time:

"Maybe not, but I think we both know that us dating other people bothered the other," Sarah told him. Chuck looked confused. "Lou?"

"Sarah, you weren't…" he trailed off at the challenging look she was giving him. "You were….jealous?"

"I wanted to rip that gorgeous hair out by the roots, and break her perfect little face," Sarah said, with no hint of humor on her face.

So….don't mess with Sarah's Chuck, got it. Sheesh. Hope you enjoyed it, leave a review if you could. Take care fam, be back soon.