A/N: Some of y'all figured it out. Yes this plot is from Remington Steele. But, to be fair, I've also used two episodes of Bosch and one episode of the new Magnum P I …so far. I figure no one minds. Will I figure out to sneak Moonlighting in? If I can! Hang on, there's this chapter and one more left of this episode. BTW, to go ahead and get your anxiety on 11, the next chapter is called A Connecticut Yankee in Burbank. (Who. Hurt. You?) And yes, it's time for the Abbot of Costello.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

Chuck stood on the balcony, watching the sun come up. Yesterday had been a lot… he was involved with a case of a dead body that kept appearing and disappearing. It was a twisted mashup of an eighties comedy and an episode of Scooby-Doo Where are You?

He'd had the opportunity to really meet Sarah's ex-boyfriend… if that's what he ever was. And he learned exactly how much he had wormed his way into her heart over the past few years. He couldn't help but grin at that.

He tried to be a humble man, but good Lord… Sarah Walker was so hung up on him, she had tried to date what she thought would be a 'good boyfriend'. Chuck snorted. That was so Sarah. It made so much sense. Her life before leaving the CIA… he shook his head. He hated it. He hated how lonely she must have felt at times, all while trying to do the best for her country.

He stretched, and rubbed his back. While last night had been amazing, being on the floor like that… it had left its marks on him.

"Regretting last night?" he heard behind him.

He turned to find her there; jeans, button up shirt, sensible shoes for chasing down a dead body. And a smile that was only for him.

"Regretting? No. Maybe wishing we had picked a different spot for our activities? Yeah," he replied. He handed her a cup of coffee in an insulated travel cup.

She took a sip, her eyes fluttered, and he heard that light, familiar moan that he had gotten her coffee oh, so right. "Activities?" she queried.

"Sensual lovemaking that nearly caught the couch on fire?" he replied, a grin on his face. He saw her catch her breath. He didn't get her like that often, but when he did… he relished it. "You know," he continued, looking back over the city, "I've been thinking."

"You still have the ability to think after last night?" Sarah asked. "I must be losing my touch."

"Oh, your touch is just fine, thankyouverymuch," Chuck replied.

"Touché," Sarah quipped.

"Are we going to banter, or solve the case?"

"Both?" Sarah offered.

"I don't have that kind of capacity," Chuck admitted.

"You boys, always talking a big game," Sarah began. He arched an eyebrow, smirking at her, and she blushed. "You know what, I withdraw that comment. You never talk a big game, and trust me… your game is unmatched."

"Thank you," he said softly. "Now, before I was interrupted by your bantering…" She grinned at him. "I was going to tell you what I saw last night."

"I think I saw stars, planets, spaceships, and possibly God," Sarah said. Chuck hung his head, unable to resist laughing. "I'm sorry, Chuck," she began.

"Don't you dare apologize, Sarah," Chuck told her honestly. He held her gaze, taking the hand not holding her coffee in his. "The fact you and I can be so you and I… it's everything."

"It is," Sarah said. "Also, I might have been having a stroke and saw a halo around your head and mistaken you for God." Chuck shook his head. "Okay, I'm done."

"No, you're not, but it's fine," Chuck told her. "I think I saw a monk last night."

"I did too," Sarah told him, excited.

"Sarah, I'm not joking, it was at the winery," Chuck insisted.

"No, I'm not joking either, I thought I saw a monk as well," Sarah told him.

"Is it possible we were both hallucinating?" Chuck asked.

"If it was here, I would say that's possible, but last night at the winery, I don't think so," Sarah told him.

"I guess it's back to wine country," Chuck said.

"Don't want to work?" Sarah asked.

"No, I want to stay here with you forever. Just me and you, and see if we can hallucinate together," Chuck told her. She swallowed, and he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Love you," he said as he walked off to get dressed.

"Damn he's good," Sarah muttered.

}o{

The two arrived at the winery sometime later, and were greeted by Bradly and Claude.

"Guys, crazy question, but did either of you see a monk last night?" Chuck asked as they approached the two men.

"A monk?" Claude replied. "What would a monk be doing here? This is hardly a place for a…" Claude trailed off, looking for the words.

"A religious experience?" Chuck offered.

"Depends on who you're with," Sarah said softly, watching Chuck nearly stumble. She couldn't help but grin.

"Wait," Bradly said, snapping his fingers. "Isn't there a monastery somewhere around here, Claude?"

"Yes," Claude admitted. "There's the Order of St. Costello, of course, but the monks hardly ever leave the monastery. I can't imagine them lugging a body around."

"Well, whoever took it may have already tried to plant it back here," Bradly said, looking around. "It's like someone is waiting to let it drop at the right moment."

"Bernie's timing has been quite precise," Chuck admitted.

"We need to find him before he finds us," Sarah said, looking around. "Let's split up and see if we can't find him before the bankers show up again." She took off toward a shed. Chuck started to walk away, when Bradly grabbed his arm.

"Would you be okay if I talked to her?" Bradly asked.

"I promise you, I'm fine with it, but again, she gets to talk to who she wants to," Chuck told him. Bradly nodded, and headed off after her. Chuck shook his head and headed toward another building, hoping to find the body to finish up this case.

"Hey," Bradly said, in the doorway of the shed. "Is it okay if I come in here and talk with you for a moment?"

"Sure," Sarah told him.

"I just want to say thanks for taking this case, when you clearly had reasons not to," Bradly began.

"Bradly, I don't think there were any reasons not to," Sarah admitted. "I can promise you, this is not the most uncomfortable case I've worked on. Legally, since I have signed non-disclosure statements, I'm prevented from talking about them, but there have been some doozies."

"Well, I owe you an apology, about the way I behaved," Bradly began.

"No, Bradly, I owe you one," Sarah said, blowing out a breath. "I was in love with another man, and I'm pretty sure you know who that man was." Bradly nodded. "I was trying so hard to convince myself that it didn't matter, that I couldn't be in love with my partner, because it was a bad idea."

"I mean, I can see the downside," Bradly said.

"Yeah, I sure you can," Sarah said, smiling. "You're a good guy, Bradly, I'm just not the person for you."

"Or I the person for you," Bradly said. "As much as I wanted to be."

"I know," Sarah said. "I know this is where I'm supposed to say that I wanted you to be, but I don't want to lie. I know that sounds harsh-"

"It's honest, and sometimes the truth is harsh," Bradly admitted. "Are you happy?"

"Ridiculously," Sarah admitted, smiling. "And-and I have you to thank for that. Seriously. I was trying to be someone I wasn't, because I thought you needed a certain type of person, and the man who loves me, loves me for me. Bad decisions and all."

"Good, I'm glad," Bradly said. "And, you were right. I did think my job was more important than your job. Having you here, helping me, I understand now why sometimes you had to drop everything and do your job."

"Bradly," she began.

"Sarah, I think you should know that I like Star Trek," Bradly told her. She looked down at the ground. "I gave Chuck the chance to throw you under the bus, because I wanted to know what kind of man he was. I kept saying things that were… well, not the most progressive."

"Why would you do that?" Sarah asked.

"Because I had to know if he was good enough for you," Bradly said with a shrug. Her eyes widened. "I like you, Sarah. A lot. And I hope you are happy. And for the record, he's a good one. A real good one."

"Come here," she said, opening her arms to hug him. "I was terrible at being a girlfriend."

Bradly released her from the hug. "I'm not sure I was the best boyfriend," he said with a shrug. "But I need you to know I did… do, like you and respect you."

"I respect you," Sarah told him. "That's why I took this case. I couldn't see you lying about a body."

"Have you any clue about who the body belongs to?" Bradly asked.

"Not a one," Sarah said, shaking her head. "Not a one."

}o{

The four rejoined, no one having found the body. Claude begged off, needing to get back to the winery. The three remaining stood there, trying to decide the next course of action. "Bradly, do you happen to know a Werner Shuman?" Chuck asked.

"Wait, you think he has the body?" Sarah asked.

Chuck shrugged. "He has a truck, and apparently a deep anger toward this vineyard, if not Claude," Chuck pointed out.

"Yeah," Bradly replied. "He has a vineyard right down the road."

"Ma'am, do you mind transporting us?" Chuck asked Sarah, grinning.

"My pleasure," Sarah replied, and began to head toward the car.

"You always let her drive?" Bradly asked.

"It's her car and, honestly, she's a better driver than me. Training, and all," Chuck said. Bradly gave him a confused look. "In her youth, she had some race car training, so she not only drives better, but has a better understanding of safety procedures, as well."

"Huh," Bradly replied. "So, it doesn't bother you who drives." Chuck shook his head. Bradly looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn't decide on the words.

"Bradly, here's the thing: I'm good at computers, like really good, and Sarah always takes a back seat to me in those instances. Why is it so wrong that she drives? Other than society frowning on it?" Bradly nodded, and walked over to the car, to get into the back.

Chuck blew out a breath. What he had told Bradly was technically true. Sarah had told him of one of her father's schemes that had to do with car racing, and she had learned both how to drive and fix cars. The skills that woman had just blew his mind sometimes. He grinned, thinking about certain skills that she had shown him in their personal time together.

"You coming?" Sarah asked. Chuck just grinned and jogged over to the car. He didn't say anything on the drive to Werner's.

They were driving along quietly, when suddenly it dawned on Sarah what Chuck meant at the beginning of the case, as the two had stood beside Bradly's car. She thwacked him in the gut with her near hand.

"OWW!" Chuck yelled. "What did I do?"

"You are bad," Sarah mouthed. Sarah glanced in the rearview mirror, and saw Bradly looking out the window. "Master linguist?" she mouthed. Chuck grinned, and Sarah shook her head. They pulled off the road into a parking lot that had a sign that read, Werner Shuman Vineyards.

The three got out of the car and looked around. Sarah tapped Chuck on the shoulder and pointed over to two lines in the sand that appeared to be a barrel being rolled on its side.

"Bernie did disappear rather quickly last night," Chuck said, looking where Sarah was pointing.

"You're not suggesting that he rolled it all the way down here?" Bradly asked.

"Anything's possible," Chuck said, following the tracks. "And if we're right about these tracks, it should lead us to Bernie. The three followed the tracks as they lead into the vineyard.

"Uh-oh," Sarah muttered. Chuck looked up and saw where the tracks ended – a large cellar. The three walked over, and Sarah opened the door. Chuck watched her shoulders slump as she walked in. He followed, and felt like doing the same thing. The cellar had hundreds of barrels lining each side of the aisle. "Bernie could be anywhere. There must be hundreds of them."

"Bernie may have just won the hide and go seek world championship," Chuck muttered. Sarah shook her head at him, and couldn't help sputtering laughter.

"I'll start in the back," Bradly said, walking off, leaving the two of them alone.

Chuck began to walk over to one side to begin his search, when he felt Sarah's hand on his shoulder, turning him toward her. "What did I do?" Chuck asked.

"Are we okay?" Sarah asked.

"Why would we not be?" Chuck asked. "We had a very nice talk last night, and then debriefed afterwards."

She grinned at him. "Chuck, I need you to understand how happy I am to have you in my life. Both as my boyfriend, and my friend." Chuck smiled at her. "I don't want to say this wrong, but I need to say it. Bradly was necessary in my life."

"I can see that," Chuck said, nodding.

"I know you were jealous," Sarah began.

"I was not," Chuck quickly disagreed. She tilted her head and gave him an amused look. "Okay, I was a bit, but I had no claim on you."

"Maybe not, but I think we both know that us dating other people bothered the other," Sarah told him. Chuck looked confused. "Lou?"

"Sarah, you weren't…" he trailed off at the challenging look she was giving him. "You were… jealous?"

"I wanted to rip that gorgeous hair out by the roots, and break her perfect little face," Sarah said, with no hint of humor on her face.

Chuck's eyes widened. "Okay," he said.

"What?" she asked. "I don't like it when people hurt my Chuck."

"Your Chuck?" he asked. She smirked at him. "Do I need to get that tattooed on my ass?"

"No, you'd pass out from seeing the needle," Sarah said. He started to argue, but realized she was right.

"You do know that your helping him is one of the reasons I love you, right?" Chuck asked. Sarah looked confused. "Sarah, most people in a brand new relationship would say, 'No, I am not getting involved with an ex', but you… He was in trouble, and without thought of yourself, you rushed to his aid."

"I learned that from you," Sarah told him.

Chuck shook his head. He gently took two fingers and put the pads against her chest. "Sarah, that was always in there. Maybe I had something to do with you realizing it and wanting to help others, but that… that was always in you."

"I love you," Sarah told Chuck.

"And I love you, but right now, we have to find Bernie." Sarah nodded. "But afterwards… how would you feel about a quiet night at home?" Sarah's grin nearly split her face. Suddenly the grin fell, and she grabbed Chuck, and threw him to the ground, as barrels crashed down where Chuck had been standing mere moments earlier.

One of the barrels above them somehow had become dislodged and started to roll towards them, gathering other barrels on its way. "CHUCK! SARAH!" Bradly yelled, running up. "Are you all right?" Both Sarah and Chuck stood up from behind the wreckage, and began to dust themselves off.

"I may have stained my underwear," Chuck admitted, making both Sarah and Bradly laugh. "But other than that, I'm fine."

"Come on," Sarah said, as pissed off as a baptized cat. The two men followed her, as she led them out of the cellar. As they make their way outside of the cellar, they saw Werner drive away in his truck, a barrel in the back.

"Can we catch him?" Bradly asked.

"Sarah," Chuck said, looking at her. An evil grin spread across her face.

}o{

"HOLEEEE SHIT!" Bradly screamed, as Sarah drove after Werner. Dust was flying everywhere, making it nearly impossible to see. "Can you slow down?"

"She's become quite attached to Bernie," Chuck said, sitting in the passenger's seat, looking and feeling calm. He trusted this woman with his life, and he knew if anyone could catch Werner, it was Sarah Freakin' Walker.

"It's just I don't see him anymore," Bradly said.

"He's right," Sarah replied, frowning. "In all this dust, he must have turned down a side road I missed. I bet there are multiple turns offs back there." Sarah eased off the gas, and then hit the brakes. She and Chuck were out of the car in a flash, with Bradly climbing out of the backseat to join them.

The two approached the barrel in the road. The two traded looks, nodded to each other, and Sarah reached over to take the lid off the barrel.

"Damn it!" Chuck swore, seeing the empty barrel. "Bernie is starting to irritate me."

Sarah kicked the barrel. "It doesn't make sense."

"How does it not make sense?" Bradly asked. "Werner has Bernie, and we don't. What's not clear about that?"

"Bradly, how does Werner have him?" Chuck asked. Bradly looked confused. "Sarah was chasing Werner. When would he have time to stop? When would he have time to get Bernie out of the barrel, and get him in the truck with him? When would he have time to do all of that and throw the barrel in the road?"

"Chuck's right," Sarah said. "Something else happened."

"Then where is the body?" Bradly asked.

"Well, that is the million-dollar question… or multi-million-dollar question, if this deal falls apart," Chuck agreed.

"He didn't dust himself off and walk away," Sarah said, looking around the road for any clue.

"At this point, I'm beginning to wonder," Chuck said, shaking his head. "He has a habit of getting around better than most people that are alive."

Sarah snorted at that, and then her eyes widened. "What if he did?" Sarah asked, squatting down, and picking up a piece of rope that was caught in a bush near the road. She straightened, and held up the rope for Chuck to see. "What does this look like to you?"

"A rope belt," Chuck offered.

"And who do we know that wears rope belts?" Sarah continued.

"The monks we may not have hallucinated seeing in the winery last night," Chuck said.

"Only one place I know of where rope belts are in fashion," Sarah agreed. She turned and looked across the field to see the older building standing there.

"Saint Costello's, I presume?" Chuck asked. Sarah nodded. "Well, maybe I'll finally get a word with the abbot." Sarah closed her eyes, shaking her head.

"I agree, we need to go down there and have a word with those people," Bradly said, appearing indignant.

"I think I should caution against that," Chuck told Bradly gently.

"Why?" Bradly asked.

"Well, it's been my experience that someone who takes bodies have a tendency to want to conceal that fact," Chuck pointed out.

"Ohhhh," Bradly said, nodding. "So, what do we do now?"

"I do believe you hired two detectives," Sarah said.

"Did you just call me a detective?" Chuck asked. Sarah rolled her eyes. "So, are you saying we should go… detect?" Sarah nodded. "I'm guessing at night?"

"We do some of our best work at night," Sarah reminded him.

"Boy Howdy, do we," Chuck muttered. Bradly looked from Chuck to Sarah. "People always tend to do naughty things under the cover of night."

"They do," Sarah agreed, the grin on her face growing. "Let's reconvene this evening."

"Okay," Bradly said, heading back to the car.

"And what shall we do until then?" Chuck asked.

"Oh, I was thinking while many do naughty things under the cover of night, we might try and detect some people doing naughty things during the daytime," Sarah said softly.

"Do you know that the Australians use the slang having a naughty as a euphemism for sex?" Chuck asked.

"Huh, and here you go reminding me you're a cunning linguist in many different regards," Sarah said, walking off toward the car.

Chuck stood there, telling his legs to move, but his brain misfired and was not able to work.

"Come on!" she yelled at him. His legs miraculously began working again, and he hurried to the car.

A/N: …..I don't know why you're looking at me. You think I can get these two to behave?

Next time:

"You noticed we keep get accused of murdering Bernie?" Chuck said to Sarah. "First the monk, now Werner."

"It's your stern demeanor," Sarah told him.

"I thought it was your killer legs," Chuck said. Sarah shook her head. "What do you think?"

….there's a dead body and they're….you know what, never mind. Come on back next time for the finale of Week of the Living Bernie. On your way out, if you'd like to leave a review, that would be lovely. Take care fam. See you soon.