A/n- Finally getting back to this series, though technically 'Perfection Reobtained' happened in between. Askr is a strange place, we don't fully know what happens to heroes when they get sent home, so don't take the thoughts I place here as 100% canon to anything, not even my other stories because I've had others where they do remember stuff from Askr. Basically it works the way I want it to for the plot until we get hard confirmation. Also warning for those not into different versions of the same character getting it on like the last one.
The Commission Files- File #173 Two for One Part 2
Characters: Lilina, Pre-War/Summer Rutger, Summer Lilina
Based on: a commission by BlackCat18up on Twitter
A few months had passed since the younger version of Rutger had been summoned to Askr. During that time he made the most of it and followed in his parents footsteps, sleeping around with pretty much anyone who he could hold a conversation with and was willing to have a bit of no consequence fun. He even had a very intense experience with Ursula of the Black Fang on his parent's suggestion. All in all he was having fun and pretty much everyone enjoyed him being around for his brighter personality than his older self and his skill in fighting. Though there was one hero who had some complicated feelings about him and really the only other hero she knew she could talk about them was herself.
"You seem down." Lilina commented to her other self as they sat down to have some calming tea together and talk about how she was feeling.
"Well, if anyone would know how that looks it would be you." Summer!Lilina replied with a sigh. "But you are 100% right, I am feeling down. Well maybe not down, but I've just got some complicated feelings to get sorted through."
"Trust me, I know how that feels." Lilina noted with a chuckle since she knew herself pretty well and how her other self must be feeling. "I'm glad you came to me to talk though, I think this is a very rare and interesting chance to talk things out with myself."
"I figured you'd have a clearer mind about all this since you're a bit farther along than I am." S!Lilina noted. "And because the source of my issues is something similar to what you probably had to deal with back in your Elibe."
"Go on, what is the source of your problems." Lilina wondered.
"It's more of a who actually." S!Lilina replied. "It's Rutger. Not yours obviously, he's been perfectly fine and normal with me, it's mine."
"Hmm, I see." Lilina said before taking a sip of her tea slowly. "What seems to be the issue with him?"
"I don't really know how to put it into words honestly." S!Lilina admitted. "I was hoping you'd have a way to put it that could give me a more clear idea of what's going on in my heart."
"Huh, okay." Lilina replied a bit stumped herself. "Let me think about it for a few moments." S!Lilina nodded and Lilina went a little deeper in thought to try and pinpoint what the issue might be. She thought about what S!Rutger had been doing since he arrived in Askr. He's been fighting yes, but he had also been getting around like Mark and Lyn had, and who could blame him honestly. But also Lilina had to remember that this Rutger was from before the war with Bern while S!Lilina was from some time after the war. She knows what that Rutger is going to turn into, and even if she would want to stop it she can't. Maybe that scares her a bit, makes her hesitate to take certain actions? Well, it was a start.
"Anything coming to mind?" S!Lilina wondered as she watched Lilina open her eyes from her pondering.
"A few things, yes." Lilina confirmed. "Let me start by asking you this, do you feel jealous or anything like that because your Rutger is going around and sleeping with whoever he pleases?"
"I wouldn't call it jealousy per se." S!Lilina commented. "It's just weird that he hasn't asked me to be with him yet. Like we're friends, especially with him being from before the war, I would have thought that I'd be one of the first people he asked. Hell he got with you the first night he was here."
"I see." Lilina noted, wondering that if the war had never happened she would have felt the same way about her Rutger doing the same thing back in Elibe. "Has it ever come to mind that maybe there is a reason why he hasn't come to you yet?"
"A few times, but nothing I can come up with makes sense." S!Lilina noted. "First I thought maybe he just doesn't like me like your Rutger does, but he got with you so that doesn't make sense. Then I thought maybe he's doing it out of respect for our Roy not being with us, but then you two told me stories about how Roy is totally on board with your relationship in your Elibe, so that's scratched. I just don't know what to think."
"Have you ever considered he's not asking you because actually cares for how you feel?" Lilina asked.
"What do you mean by that?" S!Lilina asked back.
"Think about it, before he came to Askr you were the only Lilina he knew and the you from back then is nothing like the you now and is far from the way I am as well." Lilina started. "If you think about it that way, I would say that he's probably waiting to be done with all his fun with all these random Askr flings that, while they deepen his friendship with people don't really mean much romantically, before coming back to you and wanting to start something serious. Have you ever let it be known that you'd be okay with him getting around if he mainly stayed with you?"
"No, we haven't really talked about it." S!Lilina admitted. "But that does make a bit of sense. I know I was a bit thrown off when I saw you and your Rutger sleeping around like Mark and Lyn, just to a lesser extent."
"Well then I would say that conversation should be had some time soon so you can at least clear that up." Lilina suggested. "Though I would say he probably will bring Roy up since yours isn't here, saying something like it wouldn't be fair to make a move without him around, but I'm sure you could convince him it would be alright. The next question though is if you really want to be in a relationship with him, knowing that this happy and friendly version of himself is not long for your Elibe."
"Really putting the nails on me here huh?" S!Lilina commented a bit nervously before taking a sip of tea to give herself some time to think. "But you're not wrong. To me this isn't the Rutger I know. The Rutger I know is a lot more like yours. And while I find him to be a good man, I don't know if I can put myself through having to see him turn into that if I get close to him here in Askr. Like even if I wasn't attracted to him, Rutger is a very close childhood friend. Knowing he turns into someone that's so closed of and angry hurts me enough already, but getting closer with the version of Rutger I've always known and then seeing that might just rip my heart in two. Like sometimes I think it would be easier if he wasn't the Rutger from my Elibe, that way I could rationalize to myself that maybe he comes from an Elibe where the war doesn't happen, or where Mark and Lyn don't die, or any number of other possibilities where he doesn't spiral into that darkness."
"Yeah, yeah, I, I totally understand you on that one." Lilina stated slowly. "Like when I saw Rutger again for the first time since his parents died, like actually saw him without my friendship vision or anything like that, it was like someone had punched me in the stomach multiple times. I'm sure it was the same for you, but I had never seen Rutger that sad and angry ever in my life. It was like he was a completely different person, and he pretty much was for a while. So I get not wanting to expose yourself to that or overthinking it while you're here in Askr if you two are always close to each other."
"But, like, some part of me wants to expose myself like that. I want to make him as happy as I can now so that when he does turn into that maybe he can think back and maybe not be so torn up and sad." S!Lilina noted. "But then again, we know we can't change the future with our actions here in Askr. Things we do here don't carry over back home. It's just so frustrating!"
"It sure is." Lilina agreed, not really knowing what to say at the moment. But this was good, her other self was getting to the bottom of her issues with her feelings and would soon be able to make a plan to deal with them. There was a bit of silence between the two of them before something popped up in Lilina's mind. "Hmm, I wonder-"
"What?" S!Lilina asked.
"Well, think about it. If we can't change the future with what we do here in Askr, then somehow we'd have to end up losing our memories of what we did and said here right?" Lilina pondered.
"Yeah, what's your point?" S!Lilina wondered.
"That maybe your heart won't get hurt if you don't remember what you get up to here? That maybe you should just enjoy yourself here while you can? I don't know, I'm just spitballing here." Lilina answered. "Who knows? Maybe the memories will leave but relics of your feelings will stick with you? And that will somehow help Rutger get past his trauma? I guess what I'm trying to say is that while it could hurt a bit, I think you should go for it. Deep down Rutger is Rutger, no matter what he acts like on the outside and I think if you take this chance then you'll be able see that way more clearly and see him how I do."
"The feelings you have for Rutger are really worth the pain they cause you?" S!Lilina asked to confirm.
"Yeah, they are." Lilina asked simply. "But the choice is up to you, I'm not gonna force you to do one thing or another. Though if you want some help, I'd be happy to do so in whatever way I can." Again there was another long silence as S!Lilina thought over everything that her and her other self had talked about. Everything being said and laid out really helped her sort out her feelings, and after a while she was ready to make a decision.
"Okay, I think I know what I want to do." S!Lilina stated after finishing her cup of tea. "And I have an idea of how I want to tell Rutger, but I'd like your help with it if you have time."
"I have all the time in the world, what are you thinking?"
S!Rutger was training outside with his trident in his swimwear when he was approached by the Gatekeeper from Fodlan with a message.
"You are Rutger from the beach correct? I have something to report!" The Gatekeeper told him, doing his job confidently.
"That's me." S!Rutger confirmed with a chuckle at his enthusiasm. "What's up?"
"Your presence is requested by Lilina and Summer Lilina at your next convenience." The Gatekeeper stated. "They told me to tell you to go to Summer Lilina's quarters."
"Alright, sounds good." S!Rutger noted, wondering a bit why the both of them wanted to see him. "Thank you, I'll go in a minute or two." With that the Gatekeeper gave him a nod and moved on to deliver his next message. "Hmm, I hope I'm not in trouble or something." Either way he finished up his training and made his way to S!Lilina's room. He made sure that he wasn't too sweaty and that his hair was in place before he knocked on the door. He wanted to make a good impression as usual because he was eventually planning on making a move.
"Hello! I'm here!" S!Rutger called out as he knocked on the door and he could have sworn he heard some giggling from behind it.
"Come on in, the door is unlocked!" S!Lilina called back to him. "And lock the door behind you!"
"Alright!" S!Rutger noted as he opened the door and quickly closed and locked it after he stepped into the room. Then he looked into the room and that's when he saw it. Both S!Lilina and the regular looking Lilina were laying on the bed completely naked cuddling each other with big smiles on their faces. S!Rutger immediately covered his eyes like he did when he barged in on the regular Lilina and her Rutger that one time. "Why do I keep walking in on things like this?!"
"Oh, come on Rutger, we've been waiting for you like this." S!Lilina teased him. "You can't tell me you don't want to have a bit of fun with the both of us."
"I mean, you would think so, but I kind of wanted to wait on something first." S!Rutger admitted. Him stating that made Lilina give S!Lilina a knowing look.
"Waiting on what?" S!Lilina asked, pressing the issue a bit.
"Well, I kind of had this plan." S!Rutger started. "I was going to have my fun sleeping around with people here in Askr until I got tired of it and then I was going to ask you if you wanted to be a couple."
"That's very thoughtful of you Rutger." S!Lilina told him truthfully, glad that her other self had called the issue correctly. "But why do you think you have to wait?"
"Because I'm pretty sure you'd want me all to yourself, though I'm starting to have less confidence in that thought over the last few moments." S!Rutger noted.
"Will you move your hands so you can look at me?" S!Lilina asked him and he did so, trying to only look at her face. "Before I got here to Askr that probably was the case, but seeing my other self here and her Rutger having fun sharing their love like Mark and Lyn my thoughts on the matter have changed. I'd be okay with you spending the night with someone every now and then as long as you mainly stayed with me."
"Are you telling me that you want to start being romantic with me?" S!Rutger asked just to confirm. "Like you want to be a couple, a real one? What about Roy?"
"I told you." Lilina told her other self with a smirk.
"Rutger, back home in Elibe, which is yours in the future, Roy is already with someone else." S!Lilina explained. "So you won't be taking me away from him or anything like that, you don't have to worry about that."
"Whew, that's a relief, I really wouldn't want me and Roy to get into something like that." S!Rutger noted. "Well, um, that seems to get rid of all the issues I had with this. Just one thing, why is your other self here?"
"Well, she helped me through some issues I had with my feelings, I figured she should get to have some fun with us as well." S!Lilina told him. "That's not an issue is it?"
"Hell no! Getting to see two versions of the woman I find the most attractive completely naked and waiting for me is like a dream come true." S!Rutger replied confidently. "Plus it wasn't weird with her and the other version of me, so why would this be?"
"Then come on and get in this bed, we've been waiting!" Lilina coaxed him and that was the last push he needed. He quickly slipped out of his swim trunks and headed for the bed. As he did So S!Lilina rolled over on top of Lilina so they were looking each other in the eyes.
"Thank you again, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me get through my emotions." S!Lilina told her genuinely before giving her a kiss on the lips.
"Hey, who better to ask then yourself?" Lilina joked, not finding the kiss to be that weird but actually rather enjoyable. "And who better to spend the night with than someone who knows all of your secret sensitive spots."
"Very true." S!Lilina noted with a smirk before looking back at S!Rutger as much as she could and shaking her butt at him teasingly. "Come on, I've been ready for you for a while, grab my hips and show me what you've got!"
"As you wish." S!Rutger said getting behind the two Lilina's and grabbing S!Lilina's hips firmly. He quickly lined his shaft up with her entrance and with a silent nod from S!Lilina he pushed himself in for the first time and she gasped loudly in pleasure.
"Finally!" She breathed, this final piece of the puzzle called her emotions setting in and letting a huge weight come off her shoulders mentally. And the sex was just amazing as she was expecting. With S!Rutger's newly found experience with women and her other self's knowledge of her body, S!Lilina was practically in heaven the whole time. She actually really enjoyed kissing and making out with her other self, and especially enjoyed it when their chests were pressed together as S!Rutger fucked her from behind. But they didn't stay in that position the whole night, they tried a few and each one was as fun and pleasuring as the last. Eventually after a few hours Lilina decided to leave so S!Lilina and S!Rutger could have some time alone together and when the door closed again they started to cuddle and talk some.
"Just so you know, I'd be okay with you spending the night with other people as well, if you ever wanted to." S!Rutger noted, just because S!Lilina had told him the same thing earlier.
"That's good to know, though I doubt I'll take advantage of it as much as you might." S!Lilina replied.
"That's fair." S!Rutger commented before moving onto his next point. "So, when we go back home, what are you going to do?"
"What do you mean?" S!Lilina asked.
"Well, I'm obviously not the Rutger you know in your time. Well technically I am but you know what I mean with the time displacement and stuff." S!Rutger replied. "What I'm getting at is that your Rutger is probably more like the other one around here. Are you going to be okay knowing I'm gonna turn into that?"
"That's another one of the things that me and my other self talked about." S!Lilina noted. "And I've decided I'd rather enjoy my time here with you now hoping that somehow these emotions and feelings will travel back with us since our memories of this won't and that will help us in the future."
"That's very mature of you Lilina, though I wouldn't expect less from you honestly." S!Rutger commented. "Does that mean when you go back you'll try and start a relationship with your time's version of me?"
"Possibly. I can't really know to be honest." S!Lilina admitted. "My personality has changed from what it was when I got here and it's hard to say that the me from back then and the me now would make the same decisions. That's why I'm hoping that something will stay with me when we get back, because right here and now I would. But again, I can't place how me from before coming to Askr would decide to do things. I mean I know Roy isn't an option, and I'm not saying you're a second option, but I think it's more likely than not."
"Yeah, all this talk about 'other selves' and screwed up timelines and such is a hard thing to wrap your head around. Good think we had my father to explain the basics since he knows how to open Outrealm Gates and the consequences of that, otherwise my brain would be spinning and we both know I'm pretty smart." S!Rutger noted with a bit of a joke at the end to raise the mood, which worked because S!Lilina gave him a laugh.
"It's a mirror into things that could be or could not be, many would pay quite well to know even a possible future." She mused. "But what about you? How do you feel about the knowledge you have a good chance of turning out like the other Rutger?"
"It's weird." S!Rutger noted. "Like he's told me something major happens, but he won't tell me what because it wouldn't matter, I can't change it. So that's scary. But then again, he pretty much has everything I want in life. He's married to his version of you, it sounds like Elibe is at peace like it is in our times, and while things might not be perfect he's content with his life. So, I'm conflicted but I don't really think about it much so I'm not too worried. It's like my father always told me, if you don't have to worry about it, don't."
"Then what do you think about all day?" S!Lilina wondered.
"This and that, nothing too serious." S!Rutger replied truthfully. "But now that we're a thing, the one thing that will be on my mind is you and how to make you happy with the time we have here in Askr. Because you are important to me Lilina, you always have been and you always will be, even if I might lose track of that in the future slightly."
"Why are you so charming?" S!Lilina asked rhetorically with a blush. "But yes, I feel the same. I want our time together here to be fun and light, not worrying about the future or the past or any of that. I just want it to be you and me together against what comes here. Together we can be an unstoppable force of leaves and steel!"
"That sounds really cheesy, but I'm going to let you have it since I love you so much." S!Rutger teased before moving in for a kiss.
"R-Rutger, really?" S!Lilina said with a blush since she wasn't expecting him to say that so soon.
"Yes, really." He confirmed. "Look, we don't know how much time we have here, I'm not gonna spend it worrying about not letting my true feelings out, are you?" He had a point, a very good one at that. They could be sent home tomorrow for Elimine's sake.
"I guess not." S!Lilina replied before pulling him in for another kiss. "I love you Rutger, and I'd really love it if you could show me your love by pounding me into this bed once again, preferably as we kiss since we didn't really get the chance while my other self was around."
"Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about!"