Origins: Joker
"Cloud Strife, you're needed in the Core Machine Room, Cloud Strife, Core Machine Room"
"Agh, damnit"
Cloud lazily got out of bed with a groan. Club sandwich and chips in hand, Cloud was looking to enjoy a big meal in bed and watching television, but alas, it didn't sound like today was that day. He walked down the halls of the Smash Mansion, going deeper and deeper into its storage catacombs. The Core Machine was less of a computer, and more of an entire room, where those who were skilled in the alien machine's use often scouted the going's on of multiple dimensions, the information therein being used to recruit Smashers. Shulk had eagerly explained the technobabble to him when he had arrived something about how it was something The Hands themselves had invented and bequeathed to them.
Regardless of all the science, Cloud knew you were only invited back there if you were integral to a recruitment job.
As Cloud came to the last set of doors, a transparent glass set of doors that appeared to lead to a laboratory shrouded in pitch-black darkness, he steeled himself, knocking. A Fighting Alloy, a purple jagged featureless robot answered, "Right this way " droned the robot.
As soon as the doors shut, he saw it. On the wall opposite him, a map stretched the entirety of the domed room they were in.
No, Cloud realized, Multiple maps
Whoever was operating the projector was scrolling past maps of planets and continents on those planets.
"Stop. It's-a here" snapped Mario's authoritative voice
The map stopped on an island nation. A dot on the map called "Tokyo," pulsated with a red and black aura.
"Yeh, it's got a pretty distinctive energy signature. Ganondorf, can you feel it?" came the voice of Shulk.
"Yes. By the Goddesses, it's unlike anything I've ever felt before."
"What? Evil?" Mario asked.
"Not just that, bur contempt, lust, greed, all the things the religious would call sin, the focal point was here."
"And you're sure these, "Phantom Thieves" made that crap a-go away?"
"According to the website I found about them. Yes."
"Ganondorf, do you think you could recreate the place this energy came from for our purposes?"
"If you insist Sir Mario," grumbled Ganondorf,
" Shulk, you said something about a website? Can you find out who the owner of the website is?"
"With a bit of digging, yeh."
"Meraviglioso Shulk! I think the final piece to this has arrived!"
With that, the light flipped on Standing to one side was Mario, dressed in a red t-shirt and blue jeans alongside with his trademark work shoes and hat. Standing at a circular computer terminal was Shulk dressed in a white lab coat, while Ganondorf had his hands on a module of the device, what Cloud could only describe as a stovetop, caressing a red and black ball of energy like putty as he idly stared off at nothing.
Mario extended his hand for Cloud to shake. He took it, heartily shaking his friend's hand, "Whaddya need? I was in the middle of lunch!" playfully chided Cloud
"Now Cloud, you know I wouldn't ask a favor of you if I didn't think you were the best guy for-a the job Once Shulk tracks down this kid's website I'm gonna need you to go find him."
"Alright, what do I tell him?"
"Just-a follow dis line of questioning exactly and you'll be alright…"
Tokyo, Japan, March 19, Electric Town
Cloud couldn't help but sneer as he walked past the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, It was like Midgar all over again, and only slightly less smelly. Regardless, after an exhaustive search, Cloud had found the district he was meant to be in and saw the young man he was looking for. Even across the street from the newspaper stand at which the young boy stood, Cloud could see from the boy's meek, awkward demeanor that there'd be no fight here.
Good, this is going to be easy
Cloud crossed the street at a red light. He briefly considered shouting to get the young man's attention but thought better of it.
"Hey," Cloud asked, "Are you, Yuuki Mishima?"
"Uhh, what's it to you?"
"It's about the Phantom Thieves," Cloud said, walking towards Mishima still
"Oh. Well they disbanded, I'm their sysadmin and…"
By now, Cloud was in whispering distance of Mishima's ear
"I know that, I also know about Ren Amamiya, Joker, too" he hissed
Cloud had been in rigorous fights all his life. As such, he could analyze a person's feeling just from their muscle movement, even just on sight. And the young man Mishima went stiff as a board in fear
"Wha? What do you want?" asked Mishima with a nervous swallow
"Tomorrow, I want you to call them, tell 'em that The Metaverse, that world that they always went to is back and there's a job in it for 'em
Cloud withdrew a stack of cash from his trenchcoat pocket, "Here" he said, "This is 500,000 yen, enough for a year of university. I trust you'll do what I asked?"
"Y-yes, sir!" Mishima stammered, his eyes wide with both fear and excitement as he pocketed the cash
Cloud bowed deeply to the young man and about-faced
Now, where do I get a decent sandwich around here Cloud wondered to himself.
Tokyo Japan, March 19 afternoon, somewhere after a toll road
A van had just begun its journey past a toll booth, but the occupants were far from ordinary. They were the Phantom Thieves of Heart, and adrenaline had just started to simmer
"Still can't believe you opened the door on a toll road" mumbled the athletic blond Ann Takamaki at her companion.
Her companion, the artistic, blue-haired Yusuke Kitagawa, shrugged his shoulders, "Can you blame me? I don't want to do any more work."
"Ann, he's right. We need to do something for Morgana." Ren piped in from the middle of the former Phantom Thieves of Heart were occupying
Ann immediately calmed, her uptight demeanor giving way to a sweet, almost motherly demeanor. Meanwhile, Morgana, the team's talking, sometimes mystical cat perked up.
"Me? Why?"
"Because!" shouted Haru Okumaru, the tiny brunette of the group, "Poor wittle Morgana lived like a street cat for Lord knows how long"
"Yeah!" Ryuji Sakamoto, a lanky yet muscular blond shouted, "We're like, two hours from Yokohama right? Why don't we make a mini road trip out of it? There are cat cafes as far as the eye can fuckin' see!"
"It's settled then. We go to Yokohama and Morgana eats like a king." Makoto Nijima, the driver of the car proclaimed
"I second that notion!" Morgana shouted licking his lips.
Ryuji pierced the silence, "Ey if it's okay with everyone else, I'm gonna catch some winks before we hit Yokohama, I feel like I haven't slept since before final exams"
"Yeah" Ren agreed, "Same here"
And with that, he drifted off to sleep
Yokohama, 7 PM
"URRRRP!"
"Ryuji you disgusting pig!" shouted Morgana
"Hey, he isn't the one that farted so loud in the café everyone noticed!" shouted Futaba
Ren laughed, "They'd spent most of the evening sampling all the cat cafes around town, at Morgana's request. Now, they were walking down the sidewalk of a quaint older neighborhood, headed back to the van.
'Guys, calm down, we need to…" Makato began, but she was cut off by a yawn, "Geez, I'm tired. I don't think I could drive another minute"
"Well, I'm not drivin" snapped Ryuji, which caused Yusuke and Futaba to roll their eyes simultaneously
"You're not even old enough, idiot," snapped Futaba
"I'm just sayin' I ain't." snapped back Ryuji
"Yokohama is known for its campgrounds" Haru interjected, "I could buy us all gear from a camping shop, we could spend the night someplace, and be back on the road first thing in the morning."
"I agree with that plan" Yusuke half-heartedly said, as he was pulling out his sketchbook to sketch a bird that had landed on a nearby street lamp.
"Oh wow, I haven't gone camping since I was a kid!" Ann shouted, her excitement palpable in the air now
"Ugh, I've never been camping, all the bugs, and humidity and…"
"Futaba I think you've been summarily outvoted. That, and no one wants to drive, so we're doing it anyway"
"Some President you are…" mumbled Futaba
Playfully, Makato stuck her tongue out at the younger girl.
"If you'll allow me to take point on this…erm, mission, I studied camping gear while planning outings for my coffee bean excursions"
Yokohama 10:15 PM
Ren reminisced on the rest of the night as he put on his sleep shirt. Haru had quickly bought all the camping gear, and so the rest of the evening was spent around a campfire in the wilderness at a campground, telling stories, reminiscing on the Phantom Thieves, and somewhat annoyingly, listening to the 8-bit sounds of a handheld video game Futaba insisted on playing instead of enjoying nature.
Now, inside of a tent the young man formally known as Joker watched as his girlfriend and tent-mate super model Ann Takamaki walked over to him, snuggling pulling him close, nuzzling into his chest
"Ren, babe, I think it was really nice that you gave Morgana a nice day out."
Ren grinned, "He can be obnoxious sure, but he's the lynchpin of our group. If he hadn't shown up The Phantom Thieves wouldn't be a thing"
Ann grinned back, "Sure, Morgana might be a founder, but don't sell yourself short. You held the crew together in the worst of times"
Ren's grin widened, "You gonna make a special day for me now?"
Ann smiled lightly slapping Ren on the arm, "Maybe someday" she chided, "But for now, let's just get to sleep. Makato is gonna want to leave early in the morning, and half the morning is gonna be dragging Ryuji out of his tent."
Ren chuckled, "For sure," he said as he and Ann tucked into their sleeping bags.
A few moments of silence and then
"Ren?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you, baby."
"Love you too Ann" Ren whispered as he went to sleep.
Unknown location
His dream was like a chalk outline, of a place familiar, but not of a pleasant familiarity. Ren had been here before, under extreme duress.
A prison? The Velvet Room? No
Ren refused to believe it. The Velvet Room had dissipated, along with the rest of the dimension that occupied the Holy Grail and other supernatural forces they'd encountered. Surely, this was all fiction, right?
Suddenly, a chalk drawing of a man appeared from nowhere. The man almost looked like a mythological hunchback, stumpy and short, with yellow, piercing eyes and a disturbingly long nose.
"Igor? I thought you were dead" Ren asked.
"I-I a-a-a-a-t thou. And thou a-a-a-r-t-t-t I" stammered the voice of Igor, "Y-y-y-o-u-r….time isn't…..over…..thievesssssss."
Back at the campground
"MORGANA, HOLY SHIT"
Joker bolted up, hearing the scream of Futaba
The rest of the Phantom Thieves jolted out of their tents, peering inside of Futaba and Morgana's Morgana had somehow transformed into the form he had taken in the realm of Mementos, with a shocked expression splayed across his rather cartoonish face.
"I….I…" stammered Morgana
"I-I-I went to bed, Morgana was helping keep the mosquitos away and then I woke up and then I…"
"Futaba, w-we need to keep calm. There's gotta be some explanation as to why."
"Yeahhhh, but how are we gonna get Morgana out of here? Put him in a burlap sack?"
"RYUJI!" shouted Ann
"No, Ryuji is probably right…" Haru began
Yusuke, who had stealthily snuck back to his tent called out, "Does anyone else have several missed calls from Mishima?"
Joker went back to the tent, turning on his phone, and saw that he had had six missed calls from Mishima since midnight.
As if on cue, Joker's phone rang. It was Mishima
Joker scrambled to answer the call, "Is anything weird going on in your end because…?" Ren began
"DUDE I KNOW BUT LISTEN" shrieked Mishima, "Some weird guy paid me money to tell you The Metaverse would be coming back and there was a job in it for you all"
"Guys, um…." Makoto piped in, "Check your phones"
An app had installed on all their phones, a white logo with a black, off-center crosshair
"This isn't the Metaverse app.." deduced Ann
"That symbol can't be what I think it is" nervously squeaked Futaba
"What do you think it is Futaba?" asked Morgana
"Never mind" blubbered Futaba, "It's a video game thing, and it literally cannot be connected to the Metaverse. It's too impossible"
"Guys, we need to access the app regardless of theory. I think this and whatever happened to Morgana are connected to that man Mishima ran into. Be prepared for anything.
Simultaneously, they all accessed the app. Like in The Metaverse, the world transformed around them. Gone was the campground, instead replaced with a desolate hallway. Gone were their sleep clothes, replaced with their Phantom Thieves gear.
"Ugh, more work…" Yusuke groaned
"Morgana. form up on me. We'll be taking point!" Ren shouted
"You got it, Joker!" Morgana shouted
With that, they bolted down the hallway. After seemingly several minutes, they came upon a pitch-black room at the other end of the hallway. The only light was a spotlight, and centered in that spotlight was an envelope.
"Is this gonna be a boss key or…" openly pondered Futaba
Joker held a finger to his lips, stepping into the spotlight, and picking up the envelope. When he did, the lights came on. Joker's head shot up, they were in a blank, sterile-looking, dome of a room, for the exception of an observation deck located a floor up.
"So, I presume you're the one a-known as Joker of the Phantom Thieves," a voice came from an unknown speaker system.
"That voice. It can't be…"
"Yeah, that'd be me. State your business."
"My-a name is Mario Mario and I'm what you might consider the leader of an organization called the Smash Bros."
A very loud 'squee' came from Futaba while the clammering began.
"WHAT? SMASH BROS?" shouted Ryuji.
"OH MY GOD HOW DID IN NOT NOTICE THAT?" Ann laughed to herself, "I suppose, like Futaba said, it was pretty far outside the realm of possibility, but geez!"
"So, we have some recognition in your world, I see?" Mario pondered.
"Yeah, as fictional characters."
"We are-a far from fiction Joker. We were able to detect your exploits when you destroyed The Metaverse. The a-sudden disappearance of evil energy that happened, as a result caught our attention. We'd like to induct you as a main member, with the rest of the Phantom Thieves as auxiliary members."
"WE'LL TAKE IT! WE'LL TAKE IT! OH EM GEE WE'LL TAKE IT!" screamed Futaba, seemingly snapping out of a trance
"Yeah, we'll take it." Joker quickly said, trying to sound more professional than Futaba. "I assume there'll be some kind of test"
Mario chuckled, "Very perceptive. You'll have a match under-a normal rules against the first person who volunteers."
"I will. Something about his aura seems…off" a gravelly voice growled
"Okay, Lucario, please-a step on the teleportation pad."
There was a pause and a blinding flash of light. When the light cleared, a blue-furred creature with the body of a human but the face of a wolf was sneering at him, arms and legs poised as if he was about to take flight.
"Okay Joker, we're going to test out the stage we've chosen to represent you, Momentos" came the voice of Mario once again.
As if by magic, a device resembling a wristwatch appeared on Joker's wrist.
"This is-a your damage a-meter. Pay attention to your percentage, the higher you go, the more likely you are to be knocked off. Your damage resets after each knockout. The first person to-a knock their opponent off the stage 3 times a-wins. You get the Smash membership if you a-win. Am I clear?"
"Yes, sir."
"I'm glad. Now, everyone who isn't Joker and Lucario, please move out into the hallway. You'll be lead to one of our suites where you all can watch the fight
The Phantom Thieves all muttered among themselves as they were led away by an Alloy who had materialized into the room. The only one who turned away was Ann, who blew a kiss to Joker, mouthing, "You got this."
As Joker shot Ann a mischievous grin, the rest of the Thieves took the final steps out of the room as a blast door loudly sealed him into the room. Joker steeled himself. Whether or not the Phantom Thieves would be able to help the world again depended entirely on his aptitude in a completely unfamiliar environment.
Joker laughed to himself as he realized something that made all of his fear melt away I shot God in the face on Christmas Eve, I should be fine.