Origins: Banjo-Kazooie

It was a sunny day in the Spiral Mountain region, a deserted rural county on the outer rims of the Isle O' Hags. A lone, brightly painted cabin stood at the bottom of the intimidating mountain, the base of which was crafted in the shape of an ugly witch. . Under the shade of the house was the duo that had brought the witch to her demise. He was a bear, wearing a pair of yellow shorts. Perched beside him was an orange bird, with yellow wingtips. They were Banjo and Kazooie. Between them was a sizeable jar of lemonade, about 3/4s full. Suddenly, the sugary drink started to ripple as the sound of a plane could be heard roaring overhead. Banjo squinted, and he could see the source of the noise was a somewhat rickety-looking red biplane. Banjo's eyes widened when he noticed the red hat of the chimpanzee piloting the plane.

"Diddy!" the bear called out, his muscular arm waving in the air.

Diddy landed the plane directly in front of them, leaping out of the cockpit and on to the ground. It was at that point Banjo noticed the chimp had added a ratty leather fanny pack to his attire.

"This is Diddy Kong? Thought he'd be bigger," sarcastically squawked the bird.

"Kazooie, don't be rude to our guest."

Diddy smirked, "You forget who my old man is. I'm used to a bit of rudeness"

"Yeah. I s'pose," Banjo remarked, his nonchalant gaze finally snapping to the backmost seat of the biplane, "Uh….who're your friends?"

Out of the seat ambled a brown hunting dog and a waterfowl, the fowl perched onto the dog's back.

"Oh! That's Otis and Mikey, collectively known as The Duck Hunt Duo."

"I coulda told you that!" snapped Kazooie "Somebody couldn't be arsed to get out of bed to watch the tournament at Mumbo's Hut a few years back!"

"I was busy training…" whined Banjo, "And my sleep schedule was messed up cause of it."

"Excuses excuses," said Kazooie with a sneer, "AND YOU!"

"Me?" asked Diddy, as the Duck Hunt Duo approached from behind.

"Yeah, you! You bring these bootlegs on our doorstep, and for what? Just to rub it on our…?"

Diddy wordlessly retrieved an envelope from the fanny pack, flipping the envelope around to reveal a Smash logo.

"JINJO ON A CRACKER!" squealed Kazooie, excreting a blue egg in excitement,

"Guh-huh!" cheered Banjo, "Wow, it's finally time eh? Was startin' to wonder if you'd forgotten about your ole pal Banjo."

"Nah, Donkey Kong's dealings with the Mushroom Kingdom keep me outta local geopolitics."

"But unfortunately," Otis began "That's what we came here to talk to you guys about."

Immediately, Banjo's expression darkened as did Kazooie's, "Guess we can't stay outta Conker's business no longer Kazooie."

"You know?" Otis inquired.

"We don't know all the details, but we figured. He made an offer to us to join his high court when he became king, but I wasn't too sure about it., Banjo said, his voice somber.

"Yeah, Banjo's told me his stories about you all a million times and even I could tell second hand this wasn't the same Conker."

"Plus we wanted to stay retired except for the car thing…" Banjo began

"Oh Jinjo, the car thing!" moaned Kazooie.

"Car….thing?" asked Diddy

"The data L.O.G collected," Mikey piped up

"Wait, you know L.O.G?" Banjo asked incredulously.

"Know him? L.O.G was Master Hand in disguise! Mario's taken his position since, but Master Hand's been collecting data on you guys since the first tourney!" Otis explained

"Well isn't that a fun little twist?" Banjo chided.

"Yeah, if you like bad fanfiction " mumbled Kazooie.

"ANYWAY," Diddy piped in. "Conker's been in possession of the Smash Core for about five years now, and only just started flexing his muscles now. He recently restored Gruntilda and Wizpig to full form. We fear he's gathering up a roster of villains from universes in which they won."

"Oh man, so we really can't stay out, can we?" Banjo groaned, "We're just sorry we ain't been such good friends lately Diddy."

"You can't help it old friend. What, the way Isle o'Hags has been in dimentional flux after Sonic…"

"Enough about that! I still lose sleep over the Metacritic reviews! What I wanna know is if there's a tourney!" squawked Kazooie, violently flapping her wings in place.

"Kazooie, I think there are more important things going on than a…" Banjo started in an angry whisper, but was interrupted by Otis.

"You bet there is!" the blood hound said gleefully, "That's kinda our cover! Interdimensional sports league by day! Interdimensional crime-fighting league by night."

"That's fantastic if that's the case! We'd be happy to join ya!" Banjo explained

Kazooie rubbed her wings together, "Eheehee. Mumbo's gonna bet against us for sure. Time to rob that mumbling shaman blind!"

"Kazooie!" shouted Banjo.

"So we roll the dice. See where they may fall. Come on, why don't we spin the wheel See whom it may call to give into temptation to win it or maybe lose it all. Who knows where the whims of fate may lead us," sang Kazooie mischeviously.

"I think I'm in love…" cooed Mikey.

"Jiggy Wiggy have mercy," Banjo drawled, rubbing his temples, "She's been playin' Persona 5 lately, stuck on one of the palaces, or at least, that's what she claims."

"Hey!" Kazooie squawked, "I can't help it if Whims of Fate is a jam Banjo."

"That sounds like a Joker thing. He's the guy we just recruited," said Diddy with a coy smile.

"B-WHAT?" Kazooie stammered, her wings once again flapping violently, "C'mon Banjo, let's get to flying! The sooner we get there, the sooner we can be Phantom Thieves."

"Guys, I'm sorry. Kazooie is just…rude," Banjo sighed.

"Hey! It's not like I'm gonna drag my talons on being a friggin Phantom Thief you've got another thing coming mister!"

"Oh man, it's not a big deal big guy, she's just excited. If you think she's bad, you should try and meet Wario," Diddy proclaimed with a knowing smirk.

"Trust me, I'm used to it. She just rubs people the wrong way, but I know that Kazooie's the best friend you could ever have. Wait…who's Wario?"

"Trust me, you don't want to meet him," Otis whimpered.

"Guess ya gotta take the good with the bad."

"Gonna be a Phantom Thief," Kazooie mumbled with a childlike glee.

"I think we oughta get movin' before Kazooie has a conniption fit."

"You and me both," said Otis, knowing throwing knowing eyes up at Mikey, who hadn't taken his lovesick eyes off of Kazooie since her singing escapade earlier.

And so, the five headed to Diddy's biplane without a word. The initial moments of the flight were silent until Mikey spoke up.

"Hey…Kazooie, do you wanna, maybe…build a nest sometime?"

"Blow it out your-"
"KAZOOIE!" Banjo shouted as Spiral Mountain disappeared into the distance.