Ice Climbers vs. Saki
The Ice Climbers' match card animation played, the couple playfully leaning to the left and right, with Nana peaking over Popo's shoulders. Then, there they were, standing in the interview set as so many before them.
"Would you like to sit?" Nikki's asked from off-camera, the slightest bit of surprise in her voice.
"Nah," Popo shook his head, Nana following his lead, "We're on our feet most of the time unless we're asleep so…"
"Assuming we neglect the times you start climbing mountains in your sleep," teased Nana.
"Hey…" Popo whined.
"So, that aside, how does it feel to be back?" prodded Nikki.
The duo beamed, "Great!" they said simultaneously.
"And," Popo added, "We get to fight one of the honorary Meleers first rounds."
"I meant to ask somebody about that," Nana inquired, her forehead wrinkling, "So because Saki was runner-up in the Assist Trophy Battle Royal, the one Mac won…he got added to the Melee class?"
"The same thing happened to Green, didn't it? She qualified in Dual, so she got added to the Brawl class," said Popo, "They always said the Hands could see the future, maybe that's proof of the truth,"
"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why DK had to join the WVBA," Nana countered.
"The Hands we're going crazy at the time, so maybe they forgot?" Popo offered.
"Guys," interrupted Nikki, "How do you feel about Saki?"
"Like I said, he's an honorary Meleer, one of the guys we didn't get to fight," Popo trailed off intentionally, looking to Nana.
"He's got a lot of projectiles, but we've been training around that,"
"Two follow-up questions, before I get to the final one. Care to elaborate on your training. The second, would you say your beef with the Smash organization that caused you to turn down a Dual tournament invite is patched up now?"
"On the first one..." Nana said with a dramatic flair, looking to Popo.
"NOPE!" they said together.
"On the second…" Popo mimicked his partner
"It's all good in the neighborhood," Nana continued, "I don't see Mario turning bad on us like those Hand bastards."
"Alright," Nikki stammered, caught off guard by the female Inuit's language, "Anyone you're looking to fight now that you're back,"
"We have scores to settle with Roy and King Dedede," Popo grumbled.
"We'll put out your fire, ginger, and we'll show you who has the bigger mallet," Nana explained, a smirk etching on her face as she stealthily jerked a stealthy thumb in Popo's direction to emphasize her last point, "But the climb up that mountain, starts when we crush Saki underneath our climbing cleats."
"Yeah um," Popo's face twisted in thought, "You'd better watch out,"
Nana could only stand still, mouth open in shock as Popo stood frozen, but in a confident hero's pose, fist pumped into the air.
"Really? That's all you could come up with?" she finally muttered.
Popo blushed, "I mean, that's kind of our thing, isn't it? You're the talker, I'm the enforcer."
"Well let's get to enforcin'!" declared the pink-clad Ice Climber, stomping her foot in a declaration.
Popo hastily mirrored her foot stomp, turning to exit the room, Nana following behind.
Saki's pose played next, posed as if he were about to run a sprint, a dead serious look etched at his handsome facial features.
Now it was Saki's turn for his interview to be played before the world.
"My name is Saki Amamiya and my opponents are the Ice Climbers," he stated for the camera.
"In the past, the Ice Climbers have been an odd, unique force for opponents to overcome. How do you feel about that,"
Saki's face scrunched, pondering the matter.
"On one hand, I've fought bigger monsters than the Ice Climbers can even imagine, but truth be told I've also never fought people who can control ice."
"How do you plan on tackling a new challenge like this?"
Saki shrugged, "Running and gunning."
"Anything more to that," Nikki asked, sass in her voice.
"Not really," said the messy-haired blond, shrugging once again.
"Alright, back to you guys!" Nikki concluded.
"Listen, son, if I have to look at one more slouchin' anime boy I'm gonna..." Cranky was grumbling even before the footage cut in.
9-Volt realized they were life, breaking into a TV perfect smile, his eyes betraying abject horror, "AND WE'RE BACK!"
"Eh screw it, I said what I said," Cranky snapped, waving his hand dismissively.
"Alright, Futaba?"
"Ice Climbers," blurted Futaba as the sound cut to her, the video seconds later.
"Did everyone pour some, 'can't wait for their cue' in their cereal this morning or," grumbled 9-Volt.
"Oh, sorry! But yeah, Ice Climbers can bend ice, while Saki can shoot lasers, yippee kai yay," The Hermit Arcana blubbered, her face now a color that neighbored her hair on the ROY G BIV scale.
9-Volt had a hand over his mouth when the camera cut to him and Cranky, suppressing his giggles. Cranky noticing this time, howled, "HAHA! AND YOU WERE WHINING ABOUT PEOPLE MISSIN' THEIR CUES EARLIER! SMART ASS!"
9-Volt's posture shot straight up as if propelled by sheer embarrassment, blurting, "Let's throw down to entrances!"
Ice Climbers were out first to a jaunty organ tune, leaping onto the railing, their backs against a barricade which began to rattle with pulses as the people began to slap it in vain hopes at patting the two mountain climbing heroes on the back. Nana cupped her hands over her mouth, mimicking a perfect bird call. An orange Condor swooped down into the stadium, nestling at the feet of Smash's favorite tag team. Nana and Popo hopped onto the Condor's back, flying the winged beast to the center ring, much to the delight of the crowd.
"Nana and Popo can tame Condors now?" 9-Volt shouted in surprise,"
"Why do you think there hasn't been an Ice Climbers game in so long?" a smirking Cranky said under his breath.
"I'll have you thrown through that fourth wall if you don't behave!" 9-Volt threatened with a cracking voice.
Synth music played next, and Saki bolted out. Before 9-Volt could explain the meaning of the song, "Heroine 'a'", Saki had already done a spinning flip onto center stage, brandishing his gun sword, pointing it at the Ice Climbers with a smirk on his face. The Ice Climbers brandished their mallets in much the same way, shouting with fervor in their village's language. Mills put his hands out in between them to break up the seemingly imminent. 9-Volt barely got out a quip about the ferocity of the combatants before Mills began to speak.
"The following contest is a Round 1 Match in the Super Smash Bros Ultimate tournament! Introducing first, in the corner to my left. They represent the Ice Climbers universe, they are the Bone Chilling Duo, they are The ICE CLIMBERS!"
The parka-wearing couple lifted their mallets to the cheers of almost everyone.
"And now, introducing in the corner to my right," Mills continued, "He is from the Sin and Punishment universe he is the Remnant's Regret, he is SAKI!"
Saki did a backflip, raising his gun sword into the air.
"Now, if Ice Climbers win the coin toss, the stage will be Summit. However, if Saki wins the coin toss the stage will be Sin and Punishment! Call it."
"Heads!" Nana shouted
"Tails!" Popo shouted simultaneously.
"And the Ice Climbers forfeit the coin toss as they could not agree!" Mills announced to the laughter of the crowd, "Therefore the stage is Sin and Punishment! Smashers are you ready?"
"Look what you did," hissed Nana.
"Nana, we gotta do the thing…" whined Popo.
"Oh yeah, yeah we're ready. But stilllookwhatyoudid," Nana growled, turning back to Popo after she acknowledged Mills.
"Yes, I'm ready, if Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb are!" taunted Saki.
The arguing couple stopped, turning to Saki, pointing their hammers at him, and shouting, "You're going down," simultaneously before they disappeared to the Sin and Punishment stage.
Stage: Sin and Punishment
Rules: 2 stocks, items medium
Music: "Risk One's Neck"
3
Saki did a front flip onto the stage, making a swiping motion with his gun-blade upon landing.
2
Ice Climbers flew in on the same Condor they'd entered Smash Stadium on, high-fiving as the Condor flew away
1
GO!
Ice Shot and gun-blade blast immediately collided as the fiery combatants set to work. Saki running away from the ever-encroaching blast zone of this "scrolling," stage, The Ice Climbers running towards it. Saki had expected this, the crafty duo looking for an easy blast zone KO. In contrast, Saki had expected a much mouthier Nana, but just like Popo, her face was scrunched with determination, and eerily silent. Saki fired a second blast, only for the Ice Climbers to freeze it in midair and grab onto the newly minted throwing dagger. Saki's eyes widened, blocking the unexpected projectile with an inch to spare. The Ruffian hunter peaked around the body of his gun-blade to see Popo and Nana winding up for one of their most fascinating maneuvers, the Squall Hammer Spin. Bracing himself to block, he felt the brunt of the wooden maelstrom right away. One impact, two. The third jaunted his wrist. The blond gritted his teeth at the unexpected pain. Just as his mind processed that wood of all elements was breaking the guard of his steel saber, the fourth impacted, breaking his guard completely. Saki staggered backward, just in time to see Nana alley-oop off of Popo's shoulders. Watching the Inuit vaunt through the air, spreading her legs for the impending attack, Saki briefly recalled having seen Incineroar watching such a move be done when they had shared the Game Room. The goal, it seemed, was to land on another person's shoulders and throw them with your legs. The pink parka wearer wouldn't get that far, as Saki held up his gun sword to block her. The crafty woman seemed to anticipate such a counter, landing on the weapon itself feet first and smashing Saki's gun sword. Through the rapid, desperate clangs of wood on metal, Saki heard Popo's climbing cleats move nimbly to where they were. If he were him, Saki thought, he'd take him out at the knees. He also knew that swinging a weapon about meant a specific form, which meant a specific windup. Luckily, he'd kept close attention to Nana's swings. Three seconds between each swing.
Three
Two
One
At the end of Saki's mental count, he jumped, feeling the woosh of a mallet underneath him. Just as he began to smirk in self-satisfaction, he felt that he landed, not on the earth, but on the ground, but onto the gloved hands of Popo. Grunting with all his strength, he picked up Saki, (and by extension, Nana, depositing them on the ground.
"Wow! Popo hits the first big move of the match, sacrificing his partner in the process!" 9-Volt announced.
"The future is bright for these one-hit wonders if they can keep their strategy as unique as this," Cranky added.
Saki stumbled to his feet, head still throbbing, but Nana's string of obscenities from behind him was plain to hear. Saki brought his gun-blade up to block a hit he wasn't sure was there, but sure enough, Popo's hammer came swinging down, Saki shifted back and forth, blocking the parade of mallet swings on his flank and front. He felt Nana grab his waist. Saki cast a glance behind him, the blackness of the blast zone mere fingertips away. As hard as he could, Saki drove an elbow into, Nana's nose, breaking it, and her grip on him. The blond smirked at Popo who had oh-so-briefly recoiled in horror, allowing Saki to slide under Popo's legs, jumping up into a combat stance. Now, the barrage was entirely focused to his front, with Saki peppering in slices when one was prepping a swing. Saki cast a glance behind him, at the ozone-less sky. A flock of Keepers, metallic bird-like creatures that had blanketed his quest to save the planet flew overhead. Simultaneously firing at the bird and bearing the consequences of breaking his guard, the bird eventually began to nose-dive. Leaping within striking distance of where it would land, swinging at it as hard as he could before it hit the ground, sending the corpse flying towards his parka-clad foes. Popo jumped in time to avoid the improvised projectile. Nana, her vision blurred and her stance staggered from loss of blood, was an easy mark, the metal husk colliding with the woman, sending her flying easily into the blast zone. The lone mallet and gun sword danced the dance of war for a few moments, colliding, both in defense and aggression, as more monsters appeared in the infinite wheat field across which they ran. It was when Popo brought his trusty wooden bludgeoner over his head that Saki clocked him with the blunt end of the gun-blade. Not hard enough to break, but enough to stun the energetic young man. Slicing horizontally across his chest, the man in the blue parka squeaked in pain. A barrage of slices later, to which Popo's answer was only to back further and further into the encroaching blast zone, a simple boot sent Popo into the blast zone.
Saki: 2
Ice Climbers: 1
The duo reappeared in an extra-large revival platform, jumping off of it as soon as they could. Saki could see the couple prepping their climbing rope for what he had initially assumed was a Belay, but two things proved that wrong. The first was the whipping of the wire to lasso it around Saki's ankles. The second was the murderous glint in Nana's eyes, the gritting of her teeth. Nana grabbed the immobile Saki by the shirt while Popo pummeled him with his hammer. With one arm across his shoulder, Nana hoisted the hero of Ruffian Earth into the air, supplanting him back down. As Saki bounced into the air, Nana grabbed him again, while Popo's pummeling parade remained unbroken. Again, more pummeling. Again, more pummeling.
"WOBBLE!" 9-Volt screamed.
"Heh, anime boy never stood a chance against some good ole technical skill," musked Cranky.
It was just a formality at this point. Together, the Ice Climbers heaved Saki into the blast zone.
Saki: 1
Ice Climbers: 1
As Saki met with the Healing Pod Room and was deposited onto the Revival Platform, he felt like he had heard the end of a Centipede Seeker's roar, but wasn't sure. His worst fears were confirmed when The Ice Climbers, jumped up to meet him, freezing something above him, a Centipede Seeker, the enormous centipede with a dragon's head lumbering down through the air in its newly frozen state.
"Now, remember the plan from the video we watched, we…" Popo began,
"Whatever, this asshole's going down for cutting you up like that!" screamed Nana.
"NANA NO!" screamed Popo.
Much to Saki's shock, Nana hoofed up the giant monster by its rear end, tossing it at him in mid-air. Luckily, a Centipede Seeker was large enough to walk across. Saki jumped in mid-air, walking on the metallic scales of the frozen animal, effectively countering Nana's throw. A string of obscenities meant Nana was coming towards him, bounding across the Seeker with intent to eviscerate while Popo helplessly fell to the ground below. Blocking Nana's jumping downward swing of her mallet, Saki fired a single laser blast downward. What this crazy angry girl didn't know about Seekers was they tended to explode when defeated. With the consistency of a Cornerian Smart Bomb's explosion, the two were rocketed away in the grand finale. While Nana was stunned, flopping through the air, Saki sailed through the air like a long jumper, charging up a slash in mid-air. Nana didn't even offer a rebuttal as she was slashed across the chest, sent into the blast zone. Landing in front of a stoic Popo, Saki simply blurted, "I'm sorry about your girl,"
Popo shook his head, "No apologies necessary, sometimes it just gets like that,"
Saki saw Popo draw in breath. Blocking the impending Blizzard with his gun blade, his arm was frozen in ice, but a simple flex of his arm shattered the crystalized water. Popo and Saki flashed knowing smirks at each other, and the battle began. Mallet and gunblade clashed over and over again, each fighter ebbing back and forth in a fruitless attempt to push their opponent to one end of the scrolling stage or the other. Popo, having the longer implement, was able to push past Saki's defenses for a brief moment, but ever the battle-hardened warrior, Saki was immediately back in the hunt. The two clashed a few more times, and then, their weapons of choice intertwined, they stared each other down. Saki tilted the weapon up to fire into the air as he had done with Nana's first elimination, but Popo was quicker on the draw, headbutting Saki, then smashing his knee in earnest, the force of the blast knocking him backward, keeping a few inches of distance between the two. Much like what had happened before, a dead Keeper scuttled down to the battle as a result of Saki's blast, this time Popo being the one to use the metal bird's body as a weapon, wielding his hammer like a baseball bat and smacking the creature at Saki. However, having done this himself, Saki saw it coming, firing two consecutive laser blasts, one to eliminate the Keeper, and another to catch Popo off guard in the explosion. The second laser bolt did just that, hitting Popo in the hand as he recoiled into a guard. The man in the blue parka cried out in both shock and pain. As Popo fell onto his rear, Saki dashed forward, looking for a clean blow to Popo's head. He ducked, and like nothing had ever happened, the clash of wood and metal was back on. Saki once again won the exchange with a thrust kick, but Popo only staggered backward for a second, running at Saki and giving him a climbing cleat to the chest for his trouble. Brushing away the shock of being stabbed by what seemed to be a million sharp incisions, the even keel of weapon mastery continued, with the two stopping to stare each other down again, their weapons clashing at the demands of the quivers of their muscles. Saki lightly headbutted Popo's nose, A gloved hand flew up to Popo's mouth and nose as Saki went in for the kill, only to have a handful of ice thrown into his eyes. Unable to do anything but attend to his own blindness, Saki was victim to an unending combination of mallet blows. Saki attempted to block Popo's wide, angry swings as the blast zone drew closer, but it was all for naught with Popo generating an Ice Shot, and then jumping on top of the article of ice to give his next move, the Squall Hammer, frightening mobility. The ferocity at which the display spun versus the power of the man himself was too much for a stunned Saki to comprehend, as he was sent flying into the blast zone.
"ICE CLIMBERS WIN!"
The pair circled each other, skipping merrily in a jovial celebration, coming together to high five just as a splash screen sealed the deal. The section of the screen dedicated to Saki's excited clapping expanded, to where it took up the entire screen. Mister Zero ran up to him, microphone in his face, "Tough loss out there Mister Amamiya, what happened?"
Saki laughed, his mouth stretched in a signature smirk, "What can I say, they psyched me out of using the laser blasts early and it kneecapped half of my modus operandi. And ya know what? Good for 'em. They came back more determined and focused than ever, and I can't wait to see what they do in the rest of the tournament."
Clapping Mister Zero on the shoulder, the blond walked off-camera, "Rita, back to you with the Ice Climbers," was his cue.
Sure enough, Rita was the camera's next target, standing in front of the Ice Climbers. Nana miming climbing a rope upwards, while Popo appeared to be miming rock climbing, placing his hands progressively upward.
"I'm here with…" Rita began, but Nana got in range of the microphone.
"DID YOU SEE THAT RITA," bellowed Nana, "THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING…"
"Of our climb," Popo continued, breaking his miming act to get close to the microphone.
"TO THE TOP!" The Ice Climbers chanted together.
"W-what do you have to say about your opponent, Saki?" asked the unassuming interviewer.
Popo shrugged, "He held himself better than I thought he would,"
"BUT," Nana shouted, yelling so loudly that veins were bulging from her neck, " WE TOOK HIS LASERS FROM HIM, AND HE COULDN'T DO THE PEW PEW, SO HE WAS FROZEN IN SHOCK!"
"Hell yeah," Popo cheered, "Ice puns!"
` The duo walked off-camera, and Rita was just about to throw to Cranky and 9-Volt, but Nana shouted, "Oh, it's you guys."
In a jagged, unprepared motion, the camera swung to see the Ice Climbers staring down Team Chaotix.
"You guys did so good out there!" cheered Charmy.
"Shouldn't you be in the Smashers Box by now?" asked Nana, her concerned and motherly tone taking back over.
"Nah," Vector said, all of his teeth visible as he grinned wide, "Charmy was a little cranky about the loss, so we figured we'd better chill out for a bit."
The Ice Climbers nodded simultaneously.
"Nothing to be cranky about," Popo said with a warm smile, "You tried to throw Sephiroth through a loop as best you could. I can tell you it inspired us in the moment to improvise better."
"Yep," agreed Nana.
"It's…a relief to hear you say that," Espio began, "We never thought of ourselves as core members of the grand scheme in Sonic's world, so we thought training to be Smashers would help us stand out."
"Well, you were brave in the face of danger, and that's what matters. It's all the proof I need to know you're worthy Smashers, all three of you," said Nana, extending a hand, "Welcome,"
The three detectives put their hands on top of Nana's, Popo following suit. As the improvised handshake disconnected, Popo offered, "Let's go in together. We want you to help us bask in the victory."
Four nods later, and the new fivesome began to walk down the tunnel.
Now, the camera was back on 9-Volt and Cranky at the commentary desk, the former wearing a warm smile, the latter wearing a sour frown.
"Ya love to see it, the comradery between the Smashers." 9-Volt's jaunted with joy.
"What is this?" A Persona game?" Cranky ranted, "Are they trying to get their social links maxed out with everyone?"
"Don't you mean confidantes?" 9-Volt wearily inquired, the energy flickering out of his facial expression oh so briefly.
"No, because that game is for dumb smelly nerd babies who make fake calling cards for things they don't like, word to your mother," Cranky screamed, so loudly that he clipped his headset mic.
"Oh my God..." 9-Volt groaned, fingers rubbing his temples as he faceplanted the desk.
"What? I keep it exciting. How else is the author going to get his grouchy old man opinions out on the fandoms that pop up, if not through my golden vessel?"
"Author…?" asked 9-Volt, "You've brought up an author a couple times since we've been working together and it's weird even for you,"
For the first time in the tournament Cranky showed regret, no, fear in his eyes, "Forget I said anything," quickly backpedaled the primate.
As 9-Volt and Cranky began to analyze the match, Smash's newest quintet burst through the door to the applause of the rest of the Smashers. Nana slipped off her parka, revealing a black t-shirt which bore white, bolded comic sans reading "I'm Nana, Popo, discarded his own, revealing an identical shirt other than the text which read "If Lost, Return to Nana. The boy saw his betrothed smirking over at Team Chaotix while simultaneously acknowledging the other Smashers' congratulations. The odd threesome seemed to be basking in the positive attention they were getting, mostly from the kid Smashers, some of whom were doing a hastily choreographed version of their dance. Popo reached out, putting a hand on Nana's shoulder. When she glanced up, Popo smiled warmly and nodded in approval of the spirits she had lifted up today.
As it had many other times before today, Peach's command to quiet down hushed the room as the randomizer was in full swing. Landing on…
"RATCHET AND CLANK VERSUS JAK AND DAXTER."
In their matchup graphic, Jak stood sternly while Daxter stood perched on his shoulder, his jaw opened wide and his tongue waggling on the air. Ratchet also stood sternly in his match graphic, but Clank mirrored his sterness. Much to the amusement of some of the nearby Smashers, the exact same scene was playing out among the combatants themselves.
"Enough of this tomfoolery. Weasel, you are doomed," Clank growled.
"I told ya, don't call me that. Maybe this is the time I should stop pussy-footin and turn you into an environmentally friendly coffee mug for Kiera," Daxter howled, striking a boxing stance atop Jak's shoulder.
"Enough," Shulk barked, "Jak, Daxter, you're in Tunnel A. Ratchet, Clank, you're in Tunnel B."
Jak chuckled, "Fine, that'll do. Good luck Ratchet,"
Ratchet chuckled back, "You too,"
And with that, the duos separated, walking out of the two exits of the Smashers Box and out of site.
(AN: Sorry for the delay everyone! The matches that involve people with no fighting game footage to go off of like Saki always take a little longer. That said, to those who have been visiting the fic in my absence , THANK YOU! I could not be more humbled by the consistent readership this fic gets! But that said, please review! Negative, positive, I don't care! I just want you guys to TELL ME THINGS! Anyway, next chapter hopefully shouldn't be a month wait, so look forward to that!)
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