(Hi everyone!! Sorry for the long break, I was busy trying to piece together this madhouse of a story! It's going to get reeeeaaalllyy crazy :0. I'll try to update more frequently, hope you enjoy!!)

It was the first morning in weeks that Stan woke up before his alarm. The room was still very dark as he opened his eyes and yawned.

"Kyle? You there?" He mumbled and felt around on his bed.

"I'm here." Kyle said.

Stan's eyes adjusted to the darkness and saw his boyfriend sitting in his chair, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Hey? You alright?" He asked, sitting up in bed.

"No." Kyle muttered.

Stan lumbered out of the bed to where he sat, and saw he had a large black book being held to his chest by his knees.

"What's that?" Stan asked, pointing to the book.

"Can we talk about it later? When you get back from school?" Kyle said.

"I don't want to leave you if you're upset." Stan said, kissing his cheek.

Kyle sighed. "I promise I'll be okay. Let's just deal with this after school."

"Alright.. but can you at least tell me what it is?" Stan asked.

Kyle stared straight ahead for a little while before standing up and sitting on the bed with Stan.

"This here is a book every single half vampire owns. It comes with our birth certificate, pretty much." Kyle flipped the book down from his chest so Stan could see the title.

"The History and Biology of All Vampires?" Stan said and continued to study the front page of the gothic, leather-bound book. "By the Helsing Association? What's that?"

"This book holds every little secret about vampires and half vampires. If there is anything you want to know, you can find it in here. The Helsing Association is a high-ranking group of half vampires who have spent their entire lives creating and adding to this book." Kyle explained.

He opened the page to a very long table of contents. Stan skimmed his eyes across the page.

"Vampires, half vampires, feeding habits, powers, history, bite marks, blood rituals.. wow it really does have it all." Stan said.

"There's something in here that I need to show you when you get back from school. I think it will explain everything." Kyle said and closed the book, a loud thud echoing through the room. "I better go cook breakfast."

"How about I cook this morning? You look very tired, babe. Did you sleep at all last night?" Stan asked and stood up.

Kyle slowly shook his head. "I can't afford to sleep anymore. They know I'm here."

Stan frowned, concerned to see his boyfriend so upset and paranoid. Kyle had always been so laid back and easygoing, seeing him like this made him upset.

"I need to go out with Tweek and Marj tonight. You can come along too, if you'd like." Kyle said.

"Sure! I'll ask Kenny if-"

"No. Not Kenny. Or Craig either. This is a situation they don't need to know about." Kyle interrupted. "We also still haven't told Tweek or Marj that their boyfriends are vampire hunters."

Stan nodded. "Alright, I'll keep quiet. Now you.."

Stan picked up the book and placed it on his nightstand. He scooted Kyle up on his bed and covered him up.

"You need to sleep." He placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "I'll see you when I get home."

Kyle smiled. "Alright, you win. Love you." He said and brought the blanket further up to his face.

"Love you too." Stan said and began to get ready for school.

He walked downstairs and found Shelley at the table eating a granola bar. "Where's your boyfriend?" She asked.

"Upstairs, still upset." Stan muttered and sat down at the table.

"I figured. Did he tell you anything about that note? What it means?" She asked.

"Nope. He told me when I get home from school he'll tell me." Stan explained.

Shelley sighed. "I just hope he's okay. I can't imagine having to hide from vampires like that. I hate to say it like this, but right now he's just... helpless."

"He's not completely helpless. He's smart and quick, and he's doing the right thing until his parents get back home this week." Stan explained.

"So I have one more week until I have to miss out on the best breakfast I've ever had? Bummer." Shelley said. "Of course, I'll miss him, too. Kyle is a great conversationalist in the morning."

"Yeah... one week till I officially have to come out to my parents." Stan mumbled.

"I think they'll like Kyle. It's just going to be a shocker when they come home to their son, who has been lovestruck on the same girl for over ten years, suddenly have a boyfriend. Speaking of, does Wendy even know that you're dating him?" Shelley asked.

"Yes she does, actually. She didn't take it well, and I'm scared she might be plotting something." Stan said.

"Wendy is a sweet girl, but I wouldn't be surprised if she put up a fight for you."

"She needs to understand I'm over her, and that I love Kyle now. If I get the chance, I'll talk to her. But she needs to calm down now."

"I understand." Shelley said and stood up, grabbing her keys to her car. "I'll be back, same time. Let me know how Kyle is."

"Will do." Stan said and watched her leave.

Stan looked at his phone and found he had twenty more minutes till he had to leave for school. He sighed.

He heard the door open again some time later and lifted his head up.

"Stan!" A loud voice exclaimed. Kenny ran into the kitchen.

"Jeez, Kenny! Kyle's still asleep you know." Stan said and stood up.

"Sorry. I have great news!" Kenny said and grabbed Stan's shoulders. "I officially have a girlfriend now!"

Stan's face lit up. "No way. What happened?" Stan asked.

"It was amazing! Last night, me, Marj, and Karen-"

"You brought Karen on a date?" Stan interrupted.

"Yes, I did, and Marj absolutely loves her! But that's not the point, we went to Denver and had supper. On the way home, we got to talking about some things, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she accepted, and then when we got to her house she hugged and kissed me!" Kenny ranted happily.

"She kissed you?" Stan gasped.

"Well, it was a cheek kiss, but it was still a kiss!" Kenny sat down in a chair at the table. "Dude, I understand why you are always wanting to be a relationship. It's so fucking nice. Having someone care for you, and what's even better about Marj is that she loves my siblings too. She wants to co-sign the guardian contract when I get it!"

"That's great! You two are gonna make great partners for Karen." Stan said.

Kenny gave Stan a devious smirk that he was used to. "So, how do go with Kyle last night?"

Stan blushed and smiled, sitting down in the chair next to him.

"Dude, it was awesome."

"Did he give you another blowjob?"

"The best one I've ever had. Dude, he's awesome at sex! I didn't think I'd get so lucky." Stan laughed.

"So, pretty much a house husband?" Kenny said.

"Just like a house husband." Stan repeated. "I can't wait to tell everyone at school that I am officially not a virgin anymore."

Kenny scoffed. "Dude, you were never a virgin. You did it with Wendy, remember?"

"We did it for twenty minutes, I didn't finish, and I barely remember it. It sure as hell didn't count." Stan said.

"So your officially, officially not a virgin anymore." Kenny said.

"Damn right." Stan said. He looked at his phone and saw they had ten minutes before they had to leave. "I really need to change my wallpaper." He thought, looking at the depressing image reflecting back at him. He figured he could sneak upstairs and take a nice picture of Kyle sleeping that would do wonderfully.

"Whoa! What are these?" Kenny exclaimed, and Stan's heart dropped when he saw Kenny hold up a blood packet from the fridge. He hadn't even seen Kenny get up.

Stan muffled a scream and stood up nervously. "Those are Shelley's! Yeah, they're Shelley's! They're for her...um... nursing class! They're testing blood types. Yeah."

"Really? That's kinda gross, keeping them in the fridge with your food." Kenny said and observed the packet some more.

"She doesn't want anyone touching them." Stan said, his heart still racing.

"Fine." Kenny said and put the packet back and closed the fridge. "That's super weird that she'd put them in the fridge and not the freezer."

"I know, she said they have to be a bit lower temperature than normal. Not freezing." Stan lied. He hated lying to his best friend.

"Let's get going. I want to get there early today." Kenny said and grabbed his backpack. Stan did the same and they drove to school in their vehicles.

It took Stan the entire drive to calm down from his mini heart attack. Thank the Lord for Shelley and her nursing classes, Stan thought the entire way home.

First period rolled around and everyone piled into their usual classes.

Stan and Kenny took their seats and watched as everyone came in.

"Hey dudes." Craig said as he sat in his seat behind them.

"Hey Craig. How'd your fist date with Tweek go?" Kenny asked as the two boys turned around.

"It was sooo amazing. We went and ate at the diner in town, and then I took him to Starks Pond to stargaze a little bit." Craig said, smiling dreamily.

"Good for you. Looks like we all went on a successful date last night." Stan said.

"Yeah. Stan officially got laid and I have my first girlfriend." Kenny said rather loudly.

The late bell rang, and their teacher walked into class. Their chemistry teacher was a young man who did his job well and most of the girls flaunted over.

Stan sat forward and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Wendy and Bebe eyeing him. He rolled his eyes, wondering how long he was going to have to deal with their stares.

"Good morning, everyone." Their teacher began and picked up a pile of papers. "Well, I'm certainly glad everyone tried their best on this test, but I'm not pleased with the results. Make no mistake, a few of you did phenomenal," Stan saw his eyes shift to him, "so I'm giving you all the opportunity to retake it Thursday if you'd like."

Sighs of relief filled the room.

"I suggest you all begin studying now to get a head start." He said and began passing out the tests.

"You gonna retake it?" Stan asked Kenny.

"Nah. My grade's good right now. Are you gonna shoot for a hundred this time?" Kenny said.

"Hell no. I worked hard for that 97 and got rewarded for it. I'm done." Stan said.

They noticed their teacher come up to their shared table.

"Kenny, you did wonderful as usual, and Stan, you did amazing this time. This test is certainly a huge improvement from your previous tests this year. What's the difference?" He asked, handing them their tests.

"Oh, I got a tutor." Stan said. He felt Kenny nudge his leg under the table.

"Well I am very impressed. I hope you know this means the expectations has been raised, though. Keep up the good work."

Stan sighed as he walked away. "They've been raised? Me and Kyle have some work to do."

"Sureee. Where are you two gonna 'work' next?" Kenny asked playfully.

"Shut up!" Stan said and laughed.

Stan felt a tap on the back of his head and turned around.

"Hey Stan, Kyle tutors you, right?" Clyde asked him.

"Yes he does." Stan replied.

"Do you think he can do a group session with all of us? He obviously knows what he's doing if he can help you." Clyde continued.

"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea." Tolkien said from the next table over. "I'd like to see his teaching methods."

Kenny laughed and Stan shoved him. "I know what you're thinking. Shut up." Stan whispered, them both knowing Kyle's "teaching method" was promising him head if he did well enough.

"How many people here need to see him?" Stan continued.

"Probably our whole grade." Craig said.

Stan let out a slow whistle. "I'm not positive about it, but I'll ask him."

Stan pulled out his phone and saw the group chat going crazy with messages. He ignored them for now and went to his conversation with Kyle.

Stan: Hey babe, everyone in the junior class wants to know if you can do a study session with all of us. You don't have to.

Kyle: The entire grade!!?? When??

Stan: Probably Wednesday afternoon if that is okay. Like I said, you don't have to.

Kyle: No, I'll do it. Tell them your basement at eight p.m on Wednesday.

Stan: Thanks dude ;)

Stan turned back to Clyde. "Tell the junior group chat eight p.m on Wednesday night in my basement."

"Sweet!" Clyde exclaimed.

"You're going?" Bebe asked Wendy at lunch.

"Yes, I'm going to the study session." Wendy said.

"Wendy, it's at Stan's house!" Heidi exclaimed.

"I don't care, I need my grade to be better. And, I'd also like to have another talk with Kyle." Wendy said.

"About what?" Heidi asked.

"About how he, Tweek, and Marjorine are the most suspicious and mysterious people in town." Wendy said.

"It's true! Ever since they showed up, three boys, and we all know who, haven't been acting like themselves." Bebe explained to the table full of girls.

"Now that I think about it, you're right." Nichole said. "Stan has suddenly fallen for a boy, Craig is willing to date again, and Kenny has completely changed his personality. And it all has to do with those three."

"I think you all are looking too deep into this." Red spoke up.

"You're just saying that cause Craig's your cousin. You'd say anything to defend him." Heidi said.

"I'm saying something because I can tell he's much happier than he used to be. Tweek has been nothing but a sweetheart to him and me, so I don't see the problem. And to explain all the other things, Stan was just looking for a fresh start and Kenny finally decided to clean up his act for a girl he genuinely likes. It's not rocket science." Red explained.

Bebe gasped loudly. "I know!"

Everyone looked at her.

"Witches!" She announced.

"Witches? Really, Bebe?" Heidi said.

"They're real, okay! This has got to be something supernatural. They look human, have been hiding from us, and live in groups. You know who else does that? Witches!" Bebe explained. "It's like Hocus Pocus!"

Red rolled her eyes and continued to eat her food.

"So you're saying they have the three boys in some sort of corny love spell? Sounds stupid to me." Wendy said.

"I know it's a long shot, but all we need is a tiny bit of proof. Wednesday night is just the night to look." Bebe said.

"Alright, but if we don't and we get caught, I'm blaming you." Heidi said and pointed her finger at the curly-headed blonde.

"This is ridiculous..." Red sighed. "We might as well ask them if they have a lucky rat's tail at this point."

Stan nervously walked up the stairs when he got home from a school.

He quickly went to his room and found Kyle still asleep on his bed.

Stan smiled at his peaceful expression and snapped a picture for safekeeping. He gently rubbed Kyle's arm.

"Hey, dude. Wake up." He whispered and Kyle stirred awake.

He yawned and stretched before sitting up. "Hey."

Stan sat down beside him and hugged him. "You look well rested."

"Not really." Kyle responded, slowly blinking to his surroundings.

"Sorry I woke you up during chemistry. The teacher is letting everyone retake the test if they'd like, which is why everyone is coming to us for help." Stan said.

"Well that certainly is peachy. I don't mind, though." Kyle said. He leaned over and grabbed the black book. "Now I'm sure you're just dying to hear what's in this book."

"I am." Stan said and shifted to where he was comfortable.

"Alright. Now, I'm not one hundred percent sure about this. What I'm about to tell you is an assumption, but it is extremely plausible because of that note." Kyle said and opened the book, skimming the contents with his nail.

"Babe, I'm sure whatever it is it'll be fine." Stan said.

"No, it won't. If my thinking is right, we're about to be in a whole lot of danger. Even more than we've already been in." Kyle said and flipped through the book.

"Stan, throughout history, were you ever told stories about extremely powerful vampires?" Kyle asked.

Stan thought for a minute. "Yes, I have. It's the only vampire story our town tells us about. Yeah, vampires who can tear down cities and destroy a population faster than an atomic bomb? Real mean looking?"

Kyle gulped. "Yeah. Those. Well, they have a name." He flipped to a page and Stan read the heading.

"Bloodborn Vampires?" Stan asked.

"Yes. Extremely powerful, always hungry, terrifying creatures who destroy anything in their path. According to the book, their strength and agility is ten times higher than the average vampire. They are the world's most dangerous creature." Kyle said.

"But, they don't spawn in naturally. They have to be created. Through, you guessed it, a blood ritual." Kyle explained and turned a page.

"Created?" Stan asked.

"More like transformed. Altered from their original state." Kyle said.

"Kyle, what are you saying?" Stan asked.

Kyle pointed to the page. "They start as half vampires. Those half vampires are most of the time unwillingly dragged to a vampire coven and turned into these monsters."

Stan gasped. "Kyle... you.."

"I know. But here's the thing, the vampires must collect a certain amount of blood from a specific person in that half vampire's life. The head vampire's blood, the blood of a brother, the blood of a best friend, and the blood of their lover." Kyle said and showed Stan on the page the ingredient list.

"If a vampire doesn't have a brother, a best friend, or a lover they cannot be turned. For instance, Tweek and Marj cannot be turned because they are only children, meaning no brother to draw blood from. Unfortunately..." Kyle swallowed a lump in his throat.

"You... you have all of those! Kyle, are you saying that the vampires want to turn you into this thing?" Stan exclaimed.

"It's just a theory... a very plausible theory..." Kyle said and leaned into his boyfriend's chest. "That symbol on that paper is the symbol for a bloodborn vampire. That's why I immediately thought of it."

He shook his head. "I don't want to think about it." He said.

"But why didn't they do it the first time you were around them?" Stan asked.

"It was because Mike would have counted as both the head vampire performing the transformation and my lover. They have to be two separate entities." Kyle explained. "I've never even realized I was the perfect candidate for it..."

"No. Kyle, I'm not going to let him do that to you. You are mine, and you're staying as a half vampire, just as I like it." Stan said and ran his fingers through his curls.

Kyle didn't smile. "I believe you." He wrapped his arms around Stan. "I love you."

"I love you too." Stan said and enjoyed his embrace.

Kyle sighed and tightened his squeezing hug on Stan. "I hope it never comes to that... the day I'm forced away and my mind ripped away from me. I'll be nothing but a walking time bomb controlled by a head vampire."

"Babe, it ain't gonna happen. Don't even think about it, I'm gonna protect you, like I always have since the beginning." Stan said.

Kyle smiled. "You really have, haven't you?"

"Well, you did kind of save my life."

Kyle looked up at him with a little smirk. "So our entire relationship is just you returning me the favor of saving your ass?"

"What? No!" Stan exclaimed and Kyle laughed.

"No, I'm just kidding. I love you. Come on, I'm starving." Kyle said and stood up, dragging his boyfriend along with him.