Stan and Kyle stood in front of Kyle's house just as the sun went down.
They had went over to check on the state of the house, and they were both relieved to find nothing misplaced. Kyle cleaned a little bit to make it look like he never left.
"So when are they going to be here?" Stan asked.
"Soon." Kyle said.
They looked up into the sky as the sound of fluttering wings was heard above them.
"Hi fellas!" Marjorine's voice called to them.
Stan could now see two bats fluttering above them. They were very different from Kyle's, who's form was just a red vampire bat. Tweek looked to be a golden flying fox, and Marjorine was a tiny white and yellow bat that looked like a cotton ball.
Stan remembered Wendy doing a report on those bats before: Honduran White Bats. Although he always thought they were cute, Marjorine looked twice as adorable with her big blue eyes.
The flew to the ground and reformed in the driveway.
"So what are we doing tonight? You said there was an emergency." Tweek asked, twitching with nerves.
"We're going for a drive tonight." Kyle said and unlocked his car.
"Ooh! I love night drives!" Marjorine said and skipped over to the backseat.
Stan watched and followed them as they all piled into Kyle's car. He took his place in the passenger seat with Tweek behind him.
The first thing he noticed was how clean Kyle's car was. It looked as if it had just been detailed. It had to have been the cleanest car he'd ever seen, which he'd expected from the cleanest person he'd ever met.
"So where are we driving? The national forest?" Marjorine asked.
"No. We're not going anywhere near that place right now. Vampires, remember?" Kyle said.
"Oh, I forgot." She said.
Kyle reversed onto the empty street and sped off, going in a direction near the mountains. Stan only went this way during winter to hunt with his dad and uncle.
"So, there is something me and Stan have been meaning to tell you two. This may have a big impact on your relationship with your boyfriends." Kyle explained.
"Oh gosh, what is it?" Tweek said.
Kyle and Stan exchanged a small glance, and Stan spoke up.
"Everyone, besides me, in my grade have joined a vampire hunting club led by Eric Cartman." Stan explained.
Tweek gasped loudly. "Vampire hunters?! Are you kidding me! We have to worry about vampires and now this?!"
Marjorine was silent.
"You know what that means, right?" Kyle said.
Tweek began hyperventilating. "Oh gosh! That means... that means Craig is... oh gosh! I never knew!" He stuttered.
Marjorine grabbed onto his arm and stroked his hair. "Deep breaths, you're gonna have a panic attack, Tweek."
"I'm surprised you aren't having one, Marj. You do realize this means Kenny is one too." Stan said.
"I knew." She said, shocking the three boys.
"You knew?" Kyle asked.
"When Kenny first met my parents, my dad mind scanned him. You know, to make sure he actually liked me. He came into my room later that night and told me. I was pretty upset, but I figured if I could just hide it from him..." Marjorine trailed off.
"Marj, he's gonna find out eventually. Especially now that he's your boyfriend. Same with Tweek." Kyle said.
"Oh gosh, why couldn't we have met like you two did? It would be so much easier to explain!" Tweek exclaimed. "I don't want to lose him... he's so perfect."
"I don't want to give up Kenny either." Marjorine said.
"Something tells me they aren't gonna be as understanding as I was. Kenny is very unpredictable, and Craig is hard-headed. Now that they've got it in their head that all vampires are bad, I can't imagine what they'll do when they discover that their crushes aren't what they think they are." Stan said.
"Kyle is right. We're going to have to tell them eventually. But, right now, let's just lay low until the vampire attacks loosen up. They're bound to go away eventually." Tweek said, still shaking pretty bad.
"I hate it for you two. I can't imagine hiding what I really was from Stan." Kyle said.
They all sat in silence for a few minutes.
"Alright, let's not think about the bad things right now. Kyle said that every vampire has their own unique talents, right?" Stan asked, turning around to the two.
"Yep." Marjorine said, looking cheered up already.
"Well, can I hear them?" Stan asked.
Tweek smiled. "Well, for starters, I have hypnosis. I don't use it very often, but if I have a rude customer come in I might 'tweak' with their attitude." He joked and the other two half vampires laughed. "My strength is also a bit more powerful than usual. It really helps me when I'm boxing."
"You box? Like kickboxing?" Stan asked.
"Yep. It helps relieve my stress." Tweek explained.
"Whoa. I hope Craig knows how to act right." Stan said, impressed about how the skinny, harmless looking boy in front of him punched things to 'relieve stress.'
"Your turn, Marjorine." Tweek said.
"I love Marj's unique ability. It's super rare too." Kyle said.
"Yep! My strength isn't as good as Kyle's or Tweek's, but I have great senses along with the super cool ability to float!" Marjorine explained happily.
"You can float? In the air?" Stan asked.
"Sure can! It makes me feel like a little cloud!" Marjorine said and began to levitate out of her seat. She didn't go far due to her seatbelt. "I can only go about three feet in the air though. But I've been working on going higher!"
"Wow." Stan said, amazed.
"I can also walk up and down vertical walls and hang from the ceiling! It makes me feel so sneaky." Marjorine continued and giggled. "Has Kyle told you about his ability yet?"
"Yeah, the usual stuff like strength and speed." Stan said. Tweek and Marjorine smirked.
"Looks like he forgot one." Tweek said.
Kyle blushed. "It's not that important, and it may not even be a vampiric ability."
"Oh, it's an ability, alright. Tell him, Kyle!" Marjorine said.
Kyle sighed. "I have a heightened personality trait of charisma."
"What's that mean?" Stan asked.
"It means he can get his way just by looking at someone with those gorgeous forest-green eyes." Marjorine said and batted her eyelashes in a joking way. "We were debating on whether it was his ability or if you really liked him at first."
"Are you saying Kyle seduce anyone he wants?" Stan asked, blushing.
"It's a lot more than that, and the effects from it don't last long. I may have affected Stan when we first met, but it was only to get him to shut up." Kyle explained, a little embarrassed.
"Wow... this certainly is an eye opener. I was wondering why I was so infatuated with you." Stan grabbed Kyle's hand and squeezed it. "And I still am."
"The more a person is around me the less they are likely to be affected by it, unless I really put my heart into it." Kyle sighed. "It makes me feel like a manipulator."
"It's okay, Kyle. You're not a bad person because of a simple ability." Tweek said.
Kyle smiled. "I know."
"So when are your parents coming back, Kyle?" Marjorine asked out of the blue.
"This Friday. I can't wait for them to meet Stan as my boyfriend." Kyle responded.
"Oh, I bet they'll love Stan!" Marjorine said.
"Yeah! He's certainly a upgrade from-" Tweek cut himself off. "Oh gosh! I'm sorry Kyle, I didn't mean to!"
"No, it's fine. Stan is an astronomically huge upgrade from Mike." Kyle sighed. "Speaking of him, me and Stan discovered something yesterday night that might put us all in grave danger."
"Agh! What is it?! I knew something was up!" Tweek exclaimed, tugging on his hair.
"Calm down, Tweek. I'm not certain, but it's a big possibility. Yesterday night, when me and Stan got home, his sister approached us with a strange note on their door. I'd like you two to take a look." Kyle took the crumpled note out of his pocket. He handed it to Tweek, and Marjorine leaned over to peek.
Stan turned around, and saw the other two make the same horrified expression Kyle did.
"Oh my... it can't be..." Marjorine said, tearing up slightly.
"Oh shit! Kyle... no... no you-" Tweek lifted his head to stare at Kyle. "You fit the requirements... oh gosh you do!"
"I sure do." Kyle responded downheartedly.
"No! We're not going to let them turn you into a bloodborn vampire! We're not!" Tweek said.
"They'd need Ike's blood, Stan's blood, and either one of our blood. It's not going to happen. We'll keep you safe, Kyle." Marjorine said, composing herself.
"Wait... they can't use Ike's blood! He's adopted! You're still safe!" Tweek exclaimed.
"Ike's adopted?" Stan asked.
"Yeah, from Canada. And about that..." Kyle trailed off. "My dad was the one who gave his blood to do the transfusion. His cells genetically enhanced Ike's to become just like his. We share the same blood, so he is technically my biological brother."
"Oh gosh!" Tweek exclaimed, tugging at a chunk of hair.
"Ike's adopted?" Stan repeated, still confused.
"It's a long story. Mom and Dad wanted another child, but I was a huge risk and had to be born premature. It would have been an even bigger risk to have another child, so my parents decided to adopt. When they got word of a young orphan dying of cancer in Canada, they immediately went up there and my dad saved his life by giving him his blood and turning him into one of us." Kyle explained.
"So... there isn't some miraculous loophole we can exploit?" Marjorine asked.
"Don't worry. As soon as Mom and Dad get back into town they'll have the police put the town on lockdown." Kyle said.
"Why would the police help us? They hate vampires too, why would they feel any different about you guys?" Stan asked.
"Mmm... don't tell anyone I told you this. I mean it, this is serious. Sergeant Harris is a half vampire too." Kyle said.
Stan's mouth dropped open. "What! He is?"
"Yep. He fought with my dad in World War II. I know it doesn't seem like the police in our town do anything but he's actually been working his ass off to find a way to fight those vampires off. The note will give him a good reason to finally take serious action." Kyle explained.
"That's.. awesome. What are his powers?" Stan asked.
"Oh!" Marjorine spoke up. "He has a mind reading ability, like my dad!"
"He can read minds?!" Stan panicked, remembering all the times he and Kenny have been pulled over and lying about drinking earlier to the sergeant. They never got a ticket, only a warning every time. They both blamed it on "sleep deprivation," and it somehow worked.
Marjorine nodded. "That's why he's such a good detective."
Stan turned around to face the windshield, feeling dumber than a rock.
"Make no mistake, Mike is coming for me. And when he does he better know that I'm not the scared little boy I was earlier. I'm not going without a fight." Kyle said, and everyone nodded.
Marjorine gasped. "Fellas, I have a crazy idea, but it might work."
"What is it?" Tweek asked.
"What if we ask the vampire hunters to help us!" She continued.
"Umm... Marj, you have one small flaw. We're considered the hunted by them." Kyle said.
"Buuut, what if we don't tell them! They don't have to know, and it's none of their business. We just tell them we've seen a vampire here and there, and they come in and do their thing!" She said.
"Marj, I'm not even sure they're good at being vampire hunters. I think the only person in group with any crossbow experience is Kenny. And let's be honest, any group led by Cartman is bound to be chaos." Stan explained.
"But we can at least try! Remember what your dad always says, Kyle?" Marjorine asked.
Kyle sighed. "You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take." He said in defeat.
"Fine. But we'll need to start small. Let's just focus on getting Kenny and Craig to help us. Then once they realize there's some actual vampire action the rest will follow like dogs." Stan said.
"Sounds like a plan. I'm sure I can get Craig to come with me to a spot I know a vampire will be in. They're always hanging out in the national forest or in the abandoned mall." Tweek added.
"I bet Kenny wouldn't mind some alone time with me." Marjorine said.
"Sounds like we all have the perfect plan. But, let's wait until Kyle's parents get back." Stan said.
"That's three days. That gives us a bit more time to iron out the details and make it a foolproof plan. With my parents, the police, and soon vampire hunters on our side, they're no way he's going to get me or anyone he needs for the ritual." Kyle said.
"I just hope you're right... cause if it doesn't, I can't imagine how guilty i'd feel if my blood was used against you, Kyle." Tweek said.
"Me too. I wouldn't be able to live with myself." Marjorine said.
"Don't talk like that, dudes. Nothing is going to happen to Kyle, and no one is getting your blood." Stan said. "I promise"
The two nodded.
"Kenny! Time for supper!" Carol McCormick called from their small kitchen.
Stuart and Karen sat at the table already. "What are we eating tonight, Mom?" Karen asked.
"Your brothers got us ingredients for spaghetti, so that's what I made." Carol said.
"Ooo! I love spaghetti." Karen exclaimed.
"Finally something different than frozen waffles." Stuart said.
"Shut up! Maybe if you got a job we could eat like this every night!" Carol snapped back.
Kenny walked into the kitchen and sat beside Karen.
"So how was school today, Kenny?" Carol asked as she brought the bowl of spaghetti over to the table for her family.
"It was fine. Baseball season is about over with." Kenny said and fixed a plate for him and one for Karen.
"When's your last game?" Stuart asked.
"Next week. I don't think we'll make it to state this year, but it's alright. I still have next year." Kenny said, very uninterested in having a conversation with his parents.
"Can we go and watch you?" Karen asked.
"I don't know. Tickets are pretty expensive." Kenny said.
"Aw man." Karen said and went back to eating.
"How's work going?" Carol asked.
"It's fine." Kenny said.
Carol stared at her son, a little concerned.
"Kenny is everything alright?" She asked.
"Sure, what do you mean?" Kenny asked, looking puzzled.
"You've been extremely distant with us lately. More than usual. Every time you're home you sit in your room or take your sister somewhere. It's like you're avoiding us. If somethin' is bothering you, you can tell us." Carol said.
Kenny paused, looking as if he was trying to come up with a reasonable response.
Carol looked at her husband, who was staring at Kenny with confusion and a little suspicion written all over his face. She then switched her attention to Karen, who was staring at her plate.
"Actually, there is somethin' I've been keeping from y'all." Kenny confessed, looking down at his plate like Karen.
"It's nothing illegal, is it?" Stuart asked.
"No, no, it's nothing like that. I just didn't know how to tell you two since it's... kind of a big deal." Kenny continued.
"What is it?" Carol asked.
Kenny took a deep breath. "I've got a girlfriend."
"Well damn, Kenny! You had me worried the government was coming after you!" Stuart exclaimed.
"Oh, that's wonderful, Kenny!" Carol said happily. "Who is she?"
"That's the thing..." Kenny said. "I'm not sure you two would like who she's related to."
Stuart and Carol paused.
"She's the daughter of Stephen and Linda Stotch." Kenny finished.
"Kenny, look at me." Stuart said. "Why the hell would you think we'd disapprove in you datin' the daughter of one of the richest families in town?"
"I don't know... I guess history working for them I guess?" Kenny explained.
"Hell no. I guess the better question would be how you're dating their daughter. I didn't even know they had kids." Stuart said.
"We met at the diner, and let me tell you, it was love at first sight." Kenny said, now smiling.
"Aww. Is she pretty?" Carol asked.
"She's very pretty. Her name's Marjorine." Kenny said.
"Here's a better question: how are her parents feeling about you dating their daughter?" Stuart asked.
"I actually met them last week. They're okay with it, and I think they like me." Kenny said.
"Are you going to bring her over so we can meet her?" Carol asked.
"I can ask. I'm sure she won't mind." Kenny said, his voice a little strained.
His phone began ringing. "Speaking of.." Kenny said and stood up. He walked out of the kitchen and answered his phone.
They could hear him talking until he shut the door to his room.
"Seriously, why the hell did he think we'd be upset? He's dating a rich girl!" Stuart said.
"He's just being humble, Stuart." Carol responded.
"I really like Marjorine. I went with them on a date and she paid for our food." Karen said.
"You went with them on a date?" Carol asked.
Karen sighed. "Yes, why does everyone keep asking that?"
Kenny walked back into the kitchen. "She says that if it's alright with y'all, she'll be over Saturday night."
"That's perfect!" Carol exclaimed. "So what's she like?"
"Marjorine's real sweet and humble. She's very soft-spoken, and she can be a little naive at times." Kenny said. "She's also a real hard worker. She did online school and is actually graduated, even though she's a year younger than me."
"She sounds like a great young lady." Carol said.
"She is. She really is, and I really like her. I'm just going to go ahead and say it, she's the kind of girl I wouldn't mind marrying." Kenny said and blushed slightly.
"So you are going to marry her." Karen said.
"Now hang on, Karen. I still want to meet her before Kenny even starts to think about marriage." Stuart stepped in. "But she sounds like a good person."
Kenny sighed. "But please, while she's over Saturday can everyone please be on their best behavior?"
"What are you talking about?" Stuart asked.
"No fighting, no drinking, no yelling, anything like that. I want to impress her, and I don't want her to be scared off." Kenny said.
"Fine, we get it, Kenny. We promise, we'll all be on our best behavior. Right?" Carol promised and looked over to Stuart.
He sighed in defeat. "Yes, we will."
"I sure hope so." Kenny whispered before continuing to eat his food.