Round 1
Isabelle vs. Incineroar
Isabelle's pose played first, hands on her hips, a triumphant, almost cocky grin on her face.
"Hello everyone! I'm Isabelle and my opponent is Incineroar" said the pre-recorded visage of Isabelle from the interview chair.
"So I'm going to start out with what potentially could be an offensive question."
"I work in politics, I'm not easily offended Ms. Nikki," the secretary cheerily encouraged the reporter.
"People might look at you and," Nikki paused to sigh, "And not exactly see a fighter."
Isabelle giggled, "They said the same thing about Mister Mayor, didn't they? And he held his own!"
"Okay, just wanted to prepare you for that discourse," Nikki explained, breathing a sigh of relief, "So anyway, how do you feel about Incineroar?"
Isabelle bit her lip in thought, "He seems nice enough, not nearly as mean as Bowser or Ganondorf, but somehow just as intimidating!"
Nikki chuckled, cleared her throat, and continued, "Anyone you're looking forward to fighting in the tournament?"
"No! The only thing I thought I'd ever fight physically in my life is local zoning laws!" chuckled the Shi-Tzu, "But regardless, I've been invited, and I've been training with Mister Snake so I can give it my all. I hope Smash City cheers me on!" Isabelle said, waving at the camera,
Next was Incineroar's name and pose, kissing his bulging bicep, before bringing his fists together at his pelvis to show off his incredible forearms.
"LEMME TELL YA SOMETHIN' MEAN NIKKI!" Incineroar screamed, standing in front of the interview chair instead of sitting on it.
"I'm not mean…" Nikki meekly protested.
"WELL, YA KNOW SOMETHIN' BROTHER…"
"Not a brother either," muttered Nikki.
"IT DON'T MATTER JACK," boomed Incineroar as he flexed both biceps, "THIS AIN'T MY FIRST TRIP AROUND THE BLOCK, THIS AIN'T THE FIRST TIME A LITTLE JABRON LIKE ISABELLE'S COME AFTER ME, THINKIN THEY CAN MAKE THEIR NAME OFF THE HEEL POKEMON DUDE."
"Anyone you're looking forward to fighting?"
"THE QUESTION YOU SHOULD BE ASKING MEAN NIKKI, IS ARE THEY LOOKING FORWARD TO FIGHTING ME. BUT THEIR OPINION DOESN'T MEAN NOTHIN'! NOTHING MEANS NOTHING1'
"Nothing means...?"
"FIGHTING JABRONIS LIKE ISABELLE, OR THE VANILLA MIDGET JOKER, OR A…PLANT," Incineroar briefly allowed his face to twist in disgust at the mere thought, "IS A POSITION I'D RATHER NOT BE IN! BUT THE CREEEEAM ALWAYS RISES TO THE TOP CAUSE I'M THE CREAM OF THE CROP, YEAH."
Incineroar pulled a coffee creamer from nowhere, placing it atop his head, extending his arms to his sides as if walking a tight rope.
"CAUSE NOBODY DOES IT BETTER THAN INCINEROAR!" ranted the Pokemon as the creamer slipped first onto his massive right shoulder, then off of him completely, "OFF BALANCE, ON BALANCE, IT DOESN'T MATTER, I'M BETTER THAN YOU! I'M PUTTIN EVERY SMASHER ON NOTICE, THAT JABRONI ISABELLE, CLOUD, KIRBY, ROY, EVEN PRESIDENT MARIO TUNNEY!"
"Tunney?" asked Nikki confusedly, " His last name is Mar-"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HIS LAST NAME IS!" snapped Incineroar, "WHAT DOES MATTER IS ROAR-A-MANIA IS GONNA RUN WILD ON YOU!" he screamed, flexing his biceps one final time before marching out of the interview room.
"Wow, an um…animated promo from Incineroar."
"That's how it should be," Cranky crowed, "All these new kids have a million moves, never drew a banana coin. Incineroar is ratings baby!"
"Futaba, do you agree with Cranky?" 9-Volt asked.
Futaba appeared on screen, sat behind her now all-too-familiar black desk, a huge smile on her face, "Actually I do. Another one of those situations where I feel bad for voting for the other guy because Animal Crossing was one of my first games on the DS, but Incineroar's got something those of us in the Japanese wrestling fandom called 'Fighting Spirit,' and that can't be topped."
"Bah, in my day, we didn't have no burning spirit. We had Hulking…"
Just as Cranky said this, a shredding guitar wail played over the speakers, followed by a sigh of relief from 9-Volt so loud it eclipsed the music, followed by threatening guitar cords in synch with heavy drum beats. Eventually, the sounds of a record being spun merged with the abrasive, marching instrumental. Incineroar appeared in the tunnel, bouncing on his toes, his every muscle surging as he lurched down the ramp to center stage.
"This is…well, a certain wrestler's theme, but I'm afraid he'd eat me if I said his name aloud."
"For once, I agree with ya boy," shivered Cranky.
As Incineroar screamed to the heavens to the mixed reaction of the crowd, his theme was replaced by a happy theme played by a ukulele but backed up by a happy keyboard. To this piece of music, Isabelle skipped out, waving in broad strokes to the crowd as she pranced further and further away from Tunnel B. A quick discussion in the Smashers Box confirmed that this was the loudest, most unanimous cheer by the crowd.
"This theme is the island rendition of Isabelle's theme that the mayor, The Villager, had composed for her birthday. Rumor has it that Isabelle and some others will be partaking in permanent island life soon. What's your take on all this?" stated 9-Volt, turning to elder Kong.
Cranky waved his hand dismissively, "As long as they aren't playing lad music at night anywhere near my Archipelago, I don't care what they do."
Mills appeared between the two combatants, bringing a hush over the crowd.
"The following contest is a first-round match in the Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Tournament! The winner of this match will face Joker in the second round! Introducing in the corner to my left, she comes to us from the Animal Crossing universe, she is The Best Assistant in the World, she is Isabelle!"
Isabelle waved to her adoring fans, the skin not covered by fur red by blushing.
"Did The Villager slip some money under the table to Mills to get that nickname off the ground or…?" Cranky whispered.
"Will you behave?" moaned 9-Volt.
"And now, introducing in the corner to my right. He comes from us from the Pokémon universe. He is the Ring's Roaring Flame…"
Incineroar hastily grabbed the microphone from Mills. "I'M THE BIG KAHUNA BROTHER, AND THE ALOLAN SUBMISSION MACHINE! I AM MISTAHHHHHH, INCINEROARRRRRR!"
Just as he appeared to hand back the mic, he grabbed it once again to reiterate, "Incineroarrrrr"
Mills snatched the microphone from Incineroar, bearing all the disdain in his expression that a Wire Frame could.
"Now, if Isabelle wins the coin toss," Mills explained, collecting himself with a deep breath, "The stage will be Town and City. If Incineroar wins the coin toss, the stage will be Tortimer Island. Call it!"
"Heads!" Isabelle yipped as Incineroar disinterestedly flexed.
"Heads!"
"Yay!" Isabelle seemed to cheer simultaneously with the entire audience.
"The rules are," Mills continued as the audience parroted along with him, " 2-Stock, Items medium. Smashers, are you ready?"
Both Smashers nodded, although Incineroar was back to flexing before he could even be teleported away.
Stage: Town and City
Rules: 2 stocks, Items Medium
Music: Title Theme (Animal Crossing HDD) [New Remix]
3
Isabelle stepped out of a mock-up of Smashville's Town Hall
2
Incineroar appeared out of a Pokeball, flexing as ever.
1
GO!
Immediately, Incineroar ran for Isabelle with the speed and ferocity of a freight train, roaring and howling the whole way. As soon as he was distance, Isabelle jumped over him and onto his back, applying a choke.
Incineroar simply ran towards the very edge of the stage, grabbing her by the hair and throwing her off, using a Flying Cross Chop to send them both down to the Blast Zone.
Isabelle: 1
Incineroar: 1
"And…like that...we're down to one stock apiece," stuttered an unusually flummoxed Cranky Kong.
"I don't like this..." 9-Volt muttered.
The two jumped off their respective revival platforms. Incineroar smirking down at a frightened-looking Isabelle.
"Look little girl, we can do this the easy way or the hard way," snarled the wrestling cat creature.
Isabelle's expression of a quivering lip and shrunken pupils morphed into a fist-clenched, growling expression.
Isabelle produced a gardening pail from nowhere, screaming, "NO!" as she dunked the water onto Incineroar.
Incineroar shrieked in pain, his entire musculature burning like an ember in a hideous flash of light. The determined expression of the secretary faded instantly as she stared into Incineroar's feral, veiny expression. The Best Assistant in the World ran in place before turning around. Incineroar simply grabbed her, whipping her around, and through her to a set of ring rope that appeared, hitting her with such an intensely hard lariat, so impactful that it echoed over Smash Stadium's sound system, silencing its rowdy crowd for the first time. The defenseless dog, meanwhile, spiraled through the air, in a defenseless heap.
Smashers' Box
Beyond the laughter of the sadistic villains, and the cries of shock from those who considered Isabelle a personal friend, there was a stunned silence. Until…
"WHAT?" quacked Mikey, "Isabelle's damage is at zero, yet the way she's laying there, she must be in the 200s damage percent wise, if not more,"
"Incineroar's reaction to water plus revenge powered him up so much he probably broke your scale," Pikachu piped in, holding the paw of a now-quivering Pichu.
Mario only rubbed his chin in thought.
"We gotta stop the match, reset or…" fretted Shulk.
"No," Sans snapped, his left eye turning blue for half a second, "Numbers don't mean anything, especially not in a battle. Do you think Conker's men are going to stop for medical attention if Isabelle gets injured?"
Mario thought for a moment before tapping his headset and turned to the Smashers, " A tournament this may be, this is still practicing for a damn war. The match continues-a."
Marth nodded. Snake and Sonic shared simultaneous growls of frustrated disapproval, while the rest of the Smashers muttered amongst themselves.
Town and City
Incineroar held a limp Isabelle by the waist, throwing her backward, spiking the unconscious secretary on her head.
Incineroar strutted to her prone form. Another German Suplex, Another, Another.
Smashers' Box
The mood had been uncomfortable since the lariat, but on what was now the seventh German Suplex, Snake finally broke the silence, screaming, "STOP THE MATCH."
Mario didn't turn from the screen, He couldn't let Snake see his face flinch in sympathy.
"MARIO," roared Snake.
Nothing.
"No," Sonic firmly rebuffed him, putting a hand on his shoulder, "She's got this, I think."
"What?" Snake growled, whipping around to square up to Sonic.
"I'm siding with Sonic on this one," Villager butted in, "She's got an iron will. Trust me, she'll make it."
"But at some point, we have to-" Snake began.
"BESIDES-A, BOSS-A SAID NO STOPS-A," Wario cackled, interrupting him, earning him confused expressions from everyone in the room, even his usual villain posse.
"Cram it Wario," Snake snapped, "I'll make you pay when our match comes up."
"Like I'm scared of an ex-popsicle," Wario snapped back, "Hell, Doctor Crygor could probably beat you in a fight at this point old man."
"Both of you, enough," snapped Peach, "We're all worried for Isabelle," Peach said, trailing off as Isabelle received another German Suplex now on number 13th.
"So do something God damn it," yelled Snake.
"But Smash rules are final at all times. Besides, Mario made the call. If either of you speaks out of turn again you'll join King K. Rool on lockdown for the rest of the tournament. Am I understood?"
Glaring at each other one last time, Wario and Snake nodded back to Peach, the former turning to joke with his uncomfortable-looking posse again, the latter turning back to the match with worried eyes.
Town and City
Incineroar's only thought was the annoyance at the lack of a crowd reaction as he suplexed Isabelle for the 15th time. These people regarded her as a hero, yet she had so glibly forced Incineroar into a brush with death. She could not be forgiven. Suplex number 16.
Isabelle was hanging off the stage like a rag doll. Something about that triggered his adrenaline-drunk mind, frothing at how dangerously close Isabelle was to absolute loss of everything, much like he'd been with the water.
"You learned your lesson punk? Have you learned not to shoot on Incineroar?" hoarsely raved the Pokemon, his throat completely dry from all the exertion.
No answer. Incineroar sauntered over to her. Just as he began to ponder whether to do another German Suplex or end the slaughter. Incineroar felt something pierce his pectoral muscle, and hard. His gaze snapped down in shock. It was…a fishing line? And Isabelle was standing up, teeth gritted, her body shaking.
"Go to hell," Isabelle snarled, "And when you get there, send regards to my man Doom Guy."
Isabelle whipped the fishing line in a 90-degree sweep, casting the musclebound Pokemon off stage. Another gardening pail full of water sent a thrashing, screaming Incineroar down to the blast zone.
Cranky and 9-Volt, who had been talking in hushed voices over commentary about Isabelle's fate had near-simultaneous screams of shock.
"WHAT THE HELL?" they exclaimed together.
GAME!
ISABELLE WINS!
Isabelle waved at the crowd, blowing a big kiss into the universe. A splash screen declared what a few seconds ago, had been thought impossible. She had won.
"Incineroar, What are you-" Nikki called as she began to interview Incineroar from Tunnel B.
The Pokemon shoved past her without a word.
When Isabelle appeared in Tunnel A, Snake was already there, Sonic, Villager, and Samus at his side. The mercenary shoulder set the tiny dog-woman atop his shoulders, "Ya did good kid," he whispered, quickly blinking a tear out of his eye before Isabelle could notice.
"Isabelle, that was, in this reporter's opinion, the most incredible victory in Smash Bros history. What're your thoughts?"
"All I have to say," Isabelle wheezed, her eyes wide with shock, "Is Joker, you're next."
The entourage carried her up the tunnel as Rita threw it back to Cranky and 9-Volt. Snake emerged from the tunnel to the Smashers' Box with the victor atop his shoulders to the loudest applause from everyone, including the villains. Incineroar opened his mouth to speak, Snake setting her down.
"Isabelle I'm…so sorry," he whimpered, "Ya just used a Fire-Type's weakness on me and I lost it. You're a main eventer in my book brother." Incineroar offered a paw.
Isabelle gleefully took it, the massive Pokemon pulling her into a hug for more applause.
The randomizer began, quickly landing on.
"CHROM VS. MR. GAME AND WATCH"
The encouraging applause of Captain Falcon and the Fire Emblem contingent were immediately drowned out by the ramblings of Mr. Game and Watch.
"I'll give you something to emulate after! Watch and learn! Chrom, young man, I will pasteurize you, and show you why quick save and Phoenix Mode made you Fire Emblem types entitled and lazy-"
"Mister Game and Watch, please come to the front," ROB's mechanical voice whirred, stopping the pain on the other Smashers' ears.
The 2-D man hobbled to the front of the room, joining a bemused Chrom.
"Chrom, you're in Tunnel A. Mister Game and Watch, Tunnel B," lazily declared Otis.
"Young people today, don't even know the first President of Nintendo," mumbled Game and Watch as he ambled down the tunnel.
"Wish me, luck comrades," Chrom shouted with a wave as he advanced down the tunnel.
"Your training will pay off yet my brother," Ike responded.
"Good luck father!" shouted Lucina.
"Yes, good luck!" shouted Roy.
Mr. Game and Watched ambled from left to right on the versus screen, while Chrom heroically raised his sword to the sky. Interviews had begun.