Round 1: Mario vs. Donkey Kong
Mario's graphic was first, simply flashing the V for victory sign, with a shot of him holding The 12 Championship superimposed over it. A brief clip of him front flipping on a decidedly Mushroom Kingdom-adjacent stage played, followed by a clip of him throwing a fireball and Super Jump Punch, the camera too zoomed in to figure out who the unfortunate victim was. Now, Mario was in the interview hot seat.
"Do…do you wanna do the line?" Nikki asked.
Mario chuckled, "When have I ever turned the opportunity down-a?"
The plumber took a deep breath in, before declaring.
"It's-a me, Mario!"
"And your opponent is Donkey Kong right?"
"Yes," Mario nodded.
"Now, while your rivalry with back-to-back generations of Kong is well storied, your rivalry with the younger Kong is decidedly less intense than…"
"Now now Nikki," Mario's brow furrowed, "I wouldn't say that, but there's been less stakes to it. The garbage with the Mario mini toy aside, it's been very intense. Golf, go-karts, tennis, soccer, parties, baseball, we're always competing to see who's the best-a. Donkey Kong is a helluva fighter, but always comes up short one way or another, but with King K. Rool here, he'll be more intense than ever, and I'm looking forward to that."
"Right. So, who're you looking forward to fighting?"
"Well other than rematches with Kirby and Zelda potentially, I've never met Cloud in a tournament setting, and I-a think Master Hand was hoping for that. That aside, the newcomers always fascinate me. It's humbling to be reminded that despite my track record, I'm just a brawler from New Donk. So, I'll throw down the gauntlet I do every year. Come one, come all." Mario explained.
"Alright, thank you for your time." Nikki finished.
"Thank you for yours. This is gonna be a heck of a day for you."
"You don't know the half of it," Nikki sighed.
Next up was Donkey Kong's motion graphic, beating on his chest. Next came footage of the Kong Spin, and a montage of expertly timed Giant Punches over the years.
"So, Donkey Kong," began Nikki in the pre-recorded interview, "Mario was saying you're extra motivated to continue the rivalry because King K. Rool is here, is that true?"
"Yeah," grunted DK, an ear-to-ear smile on his face, "It's been so so long since we traded punches."
"Right," Nikki agreed, "But the way the brackets are set up in order to get to any of the newbies like K. Rool you have to fight Mario. How do you feel about that?"
"Always a good time, wailing on the plumber. It's in the bloodline of Kong Island to do that."
"Alright. I know the zone you get into when you fight, so I won't keep you any further."
DK nodded, "Thank you..."
As Cranky heaped backhanded praise onto his son, from the Smashers Box' Quinn raised an eyebrow, "The…zone?" he asked.
"Yeah," Rosalina said as a Luma pirouetted across her lap, "Hard DK. It's like he transforms into a different guy when he fights."
"Geez, Hard DK sounds terrifying ." Quinn shuddered.
"You don't know the half of it," Jigglypuff, the only one to suffer a loss in the tournaments to the King of Kong, shuddered back.
Now, it was time for entrances, a classical version of the music that could be heard when a Super Star was consumed. Out of the tunnel zoomed Mario, wings atop his cap. The merry hero flew alongside the retaining walls, as the audience surged forward to get a glimpse of the multiverse's greatest hero.
"Look at 'im," snarled Cranky, "World's fattest ham,"
"Cranky! That's the boss!" 9-Volt gasped as Mario ended his lap around the stadium, touching down.
"And? If it weren't for me, he wouldn't be nearly as famous," Cranky snapped, indignance lacing his every word.
A jaunty, 8-bit tune played, while a drum beat and monkey's grunting came over the beat, creating a new remix. Hoisting a boombox over his shoulder, DK walked up Tunnel B grooving to the beat as he walked.
"It's a Kong Party!" cheered 9-Volt.
"Damnit, the young kids and their boomboxes," Cranky whined.
"It's 2020, at least in Smash time," countered, 9-Volt, "Nobody uses boomboxes anymore,"
"Blah, still makes me angry," the old ape snapped.
Donkey Kong finished his entrance salvo by running in place with the boombox across his mighty shoulder, as Mario looked down at the ground, trying not to laugh. As DK put the boombox down, Mills Frames appeared.
"The following contest," began the tried and true introduction, "Is a Round 1 Match of the Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Tournament. The winner of this match will fight either Link or Samus and the next round. Introducing, to my left, he comes to us from the Mario Universe, he is the champion of The 12, he is Mister Video Game, he is MARIO!"
Mario jumped into the air, landing with his fist pumped, "Here we go!" he shouted to the roar of the crowd.
"And, introducing in the corner to my right," Mills continued, "He comes to us from the Mario Universe as well, he is The King of Swing, he is DONKEY KONG!"
Flexing impossibly huge biceps, Donkey Kong smiled at the cheering crowd.
"Now guys, you know the drill. I flip the coin, if you win Mario, it's Mushroom Kingdom 64. If Donkey Kong wins it's Kongo Jungle 64. Smashers, call it."
"Tails!" Donley Kong's declaration boomed.
Mills checked the coin on the ground, "Heads!"
A deep, seething expression overtook DK's face for a blip in time, before going back to neutral.
"Items medium, 2-stocks," Mills announced, "Smashers, are you ready?"
"Yeah," Mario said, holding out a hand, "DK, good-a luck eh?"
Wordlessly Donkey Kong shook it, staring down his old rival as they were warped to the battlefield.
Stage: Mushroom Kingdom 64
Rules: 2-stock, items medium
Music Ground Theme (Super Mario Bros)
3
Mario jumped out of a warp pipe, determinedly declaring, "Let's-a go!" pumping his fists into the air
2
Donkey Kong exploded out of a barrel labeled 'DK' front flipping out of it and flexing as he stuck the landing
1
GO!
Both phased through the platforms on which they began, standing on either side of the stage, the bottomless pit that sliced the middle of the arena between them. Mario began to volley fireballs as he jumped at his simian opponent. Jumping in time with Mario, DK smirked, "That fancy wing cap from your entrance may have worn off, but I know you can jump."
With that, Donkey Kong jumped forward, but Mario jumped up, flip kicking the ape in the jaw. In annoyance, DK swiped at his acrobatic adversary as he landed on the platform on which Mario began the fight, but the mustachioed hero let the momentum carry him down away, jumping back up as soon as he landed to flip kick him again. Both combatants jumped into the air, Mario juking out DK with an Air Tornado, jumping in mid-air to execute another flip kick. DK Mario landed first, allowing DK to bop Mario on the head, hitting the stunned plumber with a follow-up one-two combination.
Mario cleared the cobwebs just in time to see DK ready to compact his head with his signature clap attack. Intentionally collapsing backward, he avoided the thunderous maneuver, landing, jumping up, and pummeling DK in the time it took him to notice what was going on. Mario attempted to follow Donkey Kong upward, but the stubborn monkey jumped to the right, Mario attempted to follow with a mid-air jump, but a back kick stifled that plan of progression.
"Okay, okay, just do ya thing-a," Mario wheezed, half to himself, half to Donkey Kong.
As Mario jumped the bottomless pit, he couldn't help but smile as DK wound up his Giant Punch. Donkey Kong was fighting defensively, which meant fewer lumps for him. A flip kick and an unopposed fire-laden palm strike gave him a pang of anxiety. What if Donkey Kong was trying to sucker him into something.
"STUPID STAGE HAZARD!" Donkey Kong roared, attempting to squish a Piranha Plant that appeared out of the pipe between them.
Mario tutted, "It's orange, that's one of those second-generation ones. They're tougher than that."
"Tough to you maybe," angrily huffed DK.
"But you just failed to squish it," Mario deadpanned.
"I'll squish you!" snapped Donkey Kong.
Mario jogged slowly in range of DK's clap attack, jumping just as his two mighty mitts connected. DK attempted to measure him for an anti-air version of the clap attack, but a work shoe to the mush stopped that train of thought as soon as it began. As his foe reeled from the blow, Mario twisted in mid-air as soon as he hit the ground, slapping Kong off the pipe. A follow-up kick visibly angered him, so Mario leaped away.
"They don't call him Jump-man for nothin' as Mario plays keep away,"
"Coward," Cranky blurted, fake coughing in the process.
Dodging past a hammering blow, both Kong and Mario landed on the platforms in the middle of the ring. Like a roller coaster, they descended. Mario jumped first, smirking back at DK. Much to his dismay, however, DK quickly followed, grabbing onto the ledge as Mario landed flush on the platform.
"Either Mario forgot about all the times he's fought my boy previously or he's trying to piss me off with that one," seethed Cranky.
"I mean, you probably aren't wrong," 9-Volt offered.
Mario clubbed the gorilla on the head, quickly using his FLUDD mockup to spray DK away. DK sprinted forward, a Hocotate model in his clenched in his paw. Tossing it upright in Mario's direction, Mario's shield appeared, causing the dangerous toy to bounce off him.
"And the first shield play of this tournament."
"Much as I despise the bastard," Cranky began to rant, "He understands a game-specific powerup when it's given. These modern heroes today are too spoiled with defensive ability.
9-Volt only sighed.
Meanwhile, a Smash Ball had appeared, the fighters palming it back and forth as if it were a volleyball, completely ignoring the Hocotate model as it rocketed up, then landed with an explosion. Finally, DK leaped into the air, kong spinning over it, Mario watched the hapless Kong spiraled down. The brief thought of if the jungle-dweller had intended to crush the all-powerful orb with his girth crossed Mario's mind as he flip kicked it, breaking it, transferring all its power to him. Between two paws, Donkey Kong took his legs out from under him clapping his paws together. As the power spilled out of him, the Smash Ball reshaping into its original form, Mario inwardly cursed his lack of situational awareness, as both of them leaped after the Smash Ball. Mario was above the Smash Ball, DK below it. Mario briefly cursed again as Donkey Kong headbutt it. The ape's eyes went wide as it didn't break, only casting the dangerously cracked ball up to him, which he broke with a simple tap of his foot.
Mario: 1
Donkey Kong: 2
"WHAT? What even happened there?" 9-Volt cried as Mario appeared on the revival platform, shaking the cobwebs.
"He hit him as the power was transferring before he could use it. Brilliant!" Cranky Kong chortled.
A Smart Bomb appeared near the right-most pipe. Donkey Kong immediately bolted for it, but ran right into the waiting jaws of a Piranha Plant, as the stunned DK fell forward, Mario scooped the bomb off the floor, spiking it down onto the sprawled form of his foe. The bomb erupted, tacking on brutal damage percentile as the final puff of the bomb sent DK into the notoriously easy to fall into side blast zone of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Mario: 1
Donkey Kong: 1
"Always knew that boy was a tunnel-visioned fool," bemoaned Cranky, "Typical millennial."
"Weren't you rooting for him a second ago? 9-Volt asked timidly.
"A father can root for his son and call him an idiot. When you're old enough you'll understand."
Besides an errant flip-kick, Mario kept the ape at bay for the next few minutes, leaping backward, forward, and over the gap as his opponent haplessly chased after him. It was only when Mario began to shoot fireballs from the weighed platforms in the middle, all the while trying to avoid the speed-altering cloud a Swirlix DK had brought to his side via a Pokeball that the flustered Kong managed to hit him with the deadly clap. Unencumbered, Mario continued to leap about while Donkey Kong watched the plumber.
"What is he doing?" wondered 9-Volt.
"What do you think this is, a QuickTime event game," snapped Cranky, "My boy learned from his mistake last stock, and he's waiting for an opening"
. DK wound up the Giant Punch as Mario mockingly leaped forward. Steam cartoonishly erupted from his head, his teeth were gritted. Hard DK mode was activated. Mario paused his jumping antics to grab a Pitfall. This spurred DK into action. He could not let that pesky plumber have that item. The two met in the air. Just as the leader of the bunch began to pivot for a Kong Spin, Mario jumped off his head. Donkey Kong cursed himself, knowing he was dead meat as soon as he landed. From the weighted platforms, Mario expertly tossed the Pitfall. The exclamation mark spiraled perfectly in the air, clocking the prone Kong in the chest, the ground collapsing underneath him, trapping the pissed ape in a hole just wide enough for him to be stuck in.
"Stee-rike!" cheered Mario.
Landing right in front of the stuck simian, Mario began to wail on the King of Swing. The crescendo on the volley of hammerfists, a fire palm strike sent DK astray, digging his paws into the brick as he rolled, allowing him to come to a complete stop just as his back touched the blast zone. Mario briefly manifested FLUDD, thinking to push him the rest of the way, but shooed the jetpack away when he quickly calculated the water would not reach. This gave him the time to roar back, one-two punching his way back into dominance. As Mario reeled from the blow, a Fire Flower appeared, seemingly right into his hand. Mario held it forward, spewing the flames into the air briefly before he was paint-brushed hard by a Kong Spin. When he regained consciousness, he was falling down the bottomless pit. Using the Fire Flow to slow his dissension, Mario dove for the pipe in the pit, and got sucked in!
"Wow! What a move by Mario!" 9-Volt gasped.
Mario appeared in the pipe just above DK, jumping down backward, letting the flames fan out so DK could do very little to escape m the flame…
Something with the weight and velocity of a train collided with his stomach, DK's fist stayed buried in his stomach as time stood still. And like a rocket, he was off. Luckily, Mushroom Kingdom was a big stage longways, so the momentum of the might mammal's attack died well before he hit the blast zone. A Black Hole spawned in front of the gorilla. Angrily throwing it down, activating, he beat his chest.
"Let's see you try to jump around now shrimp. C'mon!" he roared.
Mario crept closer, half from trepidation and half from the pain, before jumping. DK nailed him with a series of mid-air headbutts, but luckily the Black Hole was fleeting and disappeared. At the same time, another Smash Ball appeared on the other side of the stage. Both Smashers leaped for it. Mario cast away the nearly-spent Fire Flower, hanging in the air as DK broke the ball by punching the ground. A flip kick staggered the monstrous Smasher but did not relinquish the Smash Ball.
Mario looked up, seeing the POW Block. He smiled devilishly. He knew what he had to do.
"Super Jump Punch!" Mario cried.
The first punch erupted the POW Block as he flew towards it, fist extended. The earth quaked, sending Donkey Kong right up into the second and third punches. Donkey Kong jumped away from the blast zone on instinct, but upon landing on the rightmost edge of the bottomless pit, Donkey Kong could see that his foe was not prepared. Eyes bugged out in shock, breathing in short, sharp breaths. A pump kick, followed by an Air Tornado as DK staggered back up the crevice reintroduced the Smash Ball back out into the playing field. As Mario quickly broke it, Donkey Kong bolted in the other direction. Again, he smiled. His time was now.
"OH YEAH! FIYAAAAAAAA!" Mario screamed.
As the ribbons of fire intertwined around each other, scorching the clay earth and disappearing in the blast zone. Mario realized that he couldn't see Donkey Kong.
That was until he looked at the edge.
The crafty monkey had waited out the blast by hanging off the edge of the chasm.
Impressed, Mario nodded, jumping in just enough time to dropkick Kong in mid-air. Mario cursed audibly as the ape in the tie grasped onto the underside of a platform with his low paws. Both Smashers ran at each other, the urgency in the air palpable. Mario connected with the swirl of fur atop his head just as he hurled his entire body weight at him in a roll. Grabbing the wobbling ape by the tie, he prepared to throw him.
Donkey Kong responded with a headbutt.
Grip unbroken, Mario seethed, "So that's how you wanna play it you stubborn son of a…"
It was the plumber's turn for a headbutt now.
"Ohhh-ey!" cheered the crowd in time with Mario's move.
Donkey Kong fired back with a headbutt of his own.
"Ohhh-ey!" the crowd piped in again.
Another from Mario.
"Ey!" cheered the crowd.
Another from DK.
"Ey!"
Both headbutts connected at the same time. Again. Then again. Screaming and roaring respectively, human and plumber engaged in a stalemate barrage of headbutts, the crowd chanting "ey" as fast as they could. Mario took three unreciprocated headbutts. His grip finally broke, sinking to his knees.
"You're the boss, but you're not winning this one," growled Donkey Kong, "Stay down."
Slowly, defiantly, Mario beat his chest, tongue stuck out like an errant child slurring a laugh with all the punch-drunk vigor of a man concussed some times over. Rage crossed the King of the Jungle's face, grabbing him by the overalls, and with one hand, tossed the defenseless man into the Blast Zone.
GAME!
"HE DID IT! THAT'S MY BOY!" Cranky howled, standing up on the commentary desk and pumping his fist.
"Geez old man, you're gonna break a hip," whispered 9-Volt just loud enough for the camera to hear.
"If I break a hip celebrating a huge win for my son then I do it."
Flexing his biceps with his signature goofy grin, a splash screen declared the end of a war.
DONKEY KONG WINS!
Mario clapped as Mister Zero came into a frame with a microphone, "What a battle and Donkey Kong comes out on top. What're your thoughts."
The man in the overalls laughed, "Didn't put as much time in the training room as I should have. But so far, this tournament has proven that only the roughest, toughest, hungriest, most dynamic fighters will advance forward. So with that in mind-a, I hope everyone enjoys!"
Next, the camera cut to Donkey Kong, still smiling and flexing.
"Donkey Kong, how do y-" Rita began.
"Pops, I ain't a waste of a smash spot, and I'm gonna make you proud. That's all," Donkey Kong spoke into the mic, turning away.
Winner and Loser appeared up the tunnel to the applause of the Smashers. On opposite sides of the room, duel hugs from Diddy Kong and Peach occurred simultaneously.
"Oi," Shulk said, pushing his way into the fray, "Me, Otis an' Mikey were talkin', and we think our matches should be next, cause we think we could put on better matches than that," explain their clairvoyant, grinning from ear to ear.
Mario matched the grin, "I like the enthusiasm. Sans, tell the truck Robin vs. Shulk is next, and Koopalings vs. Duck Hunt Duo after."
"You got it, boss," Sans waved without turning to look at him.
To the cheers of the Fire Emblem contingent, Robin shrugged, "Well, I guess it's my turn."
As the silver-haired mage stood, Lucina grasped his hand, causing him to turn him around, "You are a profoundly great warrior. The best. You've got this,"
"Thank you, dear," Robin nodded down with a smile.
"Robin, you're in Tunnel A, Shulk, Tunnel B. Koopalings, be prepared to announce who'll be representing you," Marth commanded.
Shaking hands in the middle of the room, the two parted ways, heading down the tunnels.