Round 1

Doctor Mario vs. Sheik

Zelda's likeness appeared on screen first, conjuring a fireball in her hands, and then transforming into Sheik to strike a martial arts pose with her right palm extended, followed by a quick montage of her tournament exploits. Now, there she was, like so many before her, arms folded daintily in the interview chair.

"My name is Princess Zelda of Hyrule. I'm also known as Sheik, and my opponent is Doctor Mario once again."

"Melee was definitely your year, as you got to the quarter-finals. After that, however, you haven't had a win. Fighting your first-round opponent from Melee, Doctor Mario, once again, how do you feel about your chances, and what will you do differently this year?" Nikki asked.

Zelda pondered the question before answering, "Well first, I feel confident. I've fought Doctor Mario before. I even managed to beat his alternate dimensional counterpart in the Melee tournament, The Mario Mangler, and all that."

"Oh yeah!" Nikki squealed, "I've always meant to ask you about that nickname."

"It was silly, to be sure," Zelda giggled, "But it was exhilarating in its own way. It made me feel like a gladiator! I think that's why I lost to Ganondorf because I carried that momentum in. Well that, and having beaten him so many times in non-Smash combat. I maintain to this day that I should have defeated Ryu in Duel, but his tenacity is unmatched. Luckily, he taught me some training tips last tournament and I've been using those. This and the fact that I've been watching my fellow Melee alum fight for three tournaments now means I'm very confident, to bring it back to the original question."

"Mm-hmm," grunted the interviewer behind the camera, "Any final thoughts for Doctor Mario?"

Zelda's eyes lit up, "I've heard he's been taking martial arts classes! I look forward to seeing what he can do!"

Next, was Doctor Mario's introduction screen, Miming listening to a heart on a stethoscope, a brief montage of Doctor Mario's tournament matches of the past played.

"So, how's the new seasonal residence?" whispered Nikki.

"Great!" smiled Doctor Mario, "Subcon is beautiful in the springtime, and this tournament's paycheck is going to an extension. Wife suggested a sunroom, and it's a good idea quite frankly."

Suddenly, Nikki gasped, "Oh crap, I slipped on the button, that all was recorded."

Doctor Mario shrugged, still smiling, "Keep it in. I enjoy our chats."

"Me too," Nikki giggled, "So, we've gotta talk about your tournament record…"

"One of the worst, correct?" the good doctor's jovial attitude remained despite Nikki's voice becoming glum, "Fighting isn't really my thing, these things are usually an opportunity to catch up with old friends and get some exercise in. But I have been taking some martial arts classes, at a dojo in a strip mall. So hopefully I deal better. Zelda, Mario Mangler, you won't catch me unaware."

"Alright, let's throw it up to Cranky and 9-Volt," Nikki commanded.

"I haven't even got anything snarky to say, that's how little I care about Doctor Mario and this fight," sneered Cranky Kong.

"Are you channeling this supposed "author" again?" 9-Volt asked, his tone of complete defeat.

Cranky made a half and half gesture with his fur-covered palm, "I'd say about 25 percent to my 80 percent."

"Futaba, got anything to add?"

"Zelda," the computer gremlin laughed as the floor became hers,

Her laugh became an uncontrolled, almost maniacal cackled, before calming down, wiping a tear away.

"I mean, like…" she wheezed, blowing a raspberry.

"Oh no, the author's gotten into you too. Please, start the entrances!" 9-Volt wailed overdramatically

The soothing tones of Zelda's lullaby played over the speakers as Sheik bolted towards center stage, flipping through the air, landing perfectly in the center. The Shiekah-disguised princess waved regally as a mix of polite applause and the hooting of Hylian hooligans peppered her entrance.

"The doctor will see you now," proclaimed the pre-recorded voice of Nurse Peach.

First, the pounding drums, then the aggressive violins of Kashmir by Led Zepplin hit the speakers, as the Doctor strutted out. The cameras cut to a Toad holding a sign that said "The Doc's prescription=pain."

The two combatants now face to face, Doctor Mario playfully jabbed his stethoscope in Sheik's direction, who was grinning so visibly that even her cowl could not hide it.

"And now," began Mills Frames as he appeared, the music dying down, "This is a first-round match in the Super Smash Brothers Ultimate tournament. The winner will face The Ice Climbers in Round 2. Introducing in the corner to my left, she comes to us from the Zelda universe. She is the Illusive Princess, she is Sheik!"

Another regal wave from the masked princess, more applause, more hooligan cheers.

"Introducing in the corner to my right. He comes to us from the Doctor Mario universe, he is the Villain of Viruses, Doctor Mario!"

Meekly, the doctor waved to raucous cheers.

"Doctor Mario is lucky he cured all disease in his world or else he'd be getting booed for his smash performance," grumbled Cranky.

"Will you stop?" snapped 9-Volt.

"Now, if Sheik wins the coin toss the stage will be the Melee Temple. If Doctor Mario wins it the stage will be Mario Bros. Call it Smashers!"

"Heads!" shouted Sheik.

"Heads!" confirmed Mills.

Sheik breathed a sigh of relief while Doctor Mario's shoulders sagged. The less time she spent on Mario Bros, the happier she'd be, and it would've been worse, judging by Doctor Mario's reaction, the doctor no doubt hoping to take advantage of the chaotic, unfair stage to eke out a win.

"You know the rules," Mills instructed the two. "Items Medium, two stocks. Smashers, are you ready?"

Both Smashers nodded, being ushered to the Temple stage.

Stage: Temple (Melee)

Rules: 2 stock, items medium

Music: Temple, Melee

3

Sheik appeared in a puff of smoke.

2

Doctor Mario kicked through a wall of colorful pills.

1

Both competitors assumed their fighting stances.

GO!

While Sheik gathered her three needles, storing them in a special compartment of her arm sleeve, she watched Doctor Mario close the distance, missing several jumps and having to grab onto ledges along the way. Sheik's eyebrow furrowed. Was the doctor feigning incompetence, or had he lied about his training? When Doctor Mario finally made his way to the central platform, Shiek charged, moving her hand as fast as lightning to execute what would be a paralyzing chop to the neck in a normal fight. But, the doctor stood firm, his eyes glowing gold as he channeled his chi.

"Impressive Doctor," Sheik nodded.

Sheik was walloped with two punches and a pump kick. The faux Sheikah sighed. The good doctor's fumbling had been a mind game and now she paid the price. Channeling righteous anger, she punched the mustachioed, determined face as fast as she could, a total of six punches peppering him. The doctor was sent off of the main, roofed platform, shaking some already forming cobwebs as he jumped again, only to grab the ledge again. The princess moved slower this time. He had taken advantage of her bravado last time, and he would not do such again.

The doctor leaped up, magically spewing a pill forth. The yellow and pink capsule bounced across the ground, clocking Sheik just as she removed them to throw them, the prickly things falling to the ground, evaporating into mist as they did.

"Damn it," Sheik grumbled.

Preparing more needles, she rolled back to avoid a similarly colored pill. But Doctor Mario had anticipated this, ready to slide kick her in the ankles as she stood from rolling. Spinning in the air, Sheik disappeared in a puff of firey smoke, reappearing on the ground in another. Doctor Mario smirked at her as he stood from a roll.

With a grunt, Sheik charged, again, delivering the same nerve chop she had before. Once again, Doctor Mario channeled his chi, only this time, bending his entire back to swing the momentum back into a huge clubbing blow, jumping to meet her up in the air with a dropkick. Luckily, the ninja-like warrior landed before the doctor, allowing her to volley him in the air with several hook kicks.

"Did you see that? She went into the grenade part of her utility belt!" cried 9-Volt.

Doctor Mario's eyes widened at the sight of a Bouncing Fish, live and dangerously close to Sheik's person. The two combatants both jumped away, the ancient grenade exploding where they had been. Running to meet each other underneath the roofed platform, Doctor Mario acted first, grabbing Sheik and spiking her down. The doctor managed to roll out of the way of a diving kick just in time but was not so lucky as a diving crescent kick made mush of his jaw. Tears forming in his eyes, Doctor Mario was mere target practice for the next series of hook kicks, a sweep hoping to take out Sheik's other leg yielded nothing. Shaking the cobwebs, Mario landed a sloppy boot to Sheik's side. Stunned from that, she was the prime target for a Super Jump Punch, sending her colliding with the ceiling and bouncing off of it, back to the right of the stage.

Both Smashers heard it at the same time, the clang of an Assist Trophy falling to the ground. Doctor Mario sighed. It landed right near Sheik's position.

Like nothing had happened at all, Sheik was immediately to her feet, Assist Trophy in hand. Raising it to the sky, a green-haired woman in a blue tunic appeared.

"It's Lyn! Roy's mom!" Cranky cheered.

"Or so we think," 9-Volt snidely corrected the elder.

"Shut up, it is in this universe," he snapped in return.

"Prepare yourself," Lyn growled

Doctor Mario sighed. Better Smashers had dodged Lyn's critical hit, but he wasn't one of them.

The world around them darkened as the woman prepared her blade

What would be a good wall color for the Subcon house, thought Doctor Mario, Something floral, or some gold ol' mahogany.

"TASTE MY BLADE!" declared the swordswoman

In a flash, the rapier had ripped across Doctor's back, in two flashes, he was in the Blast Zone.

Zelda: 2

Doctor Mario: 1

Doctor Mario jumped off the revival platform, sighing once again. The pieces of the Dragoon had started to fall, and Sheik already had two. A Smash Ball was in play. Doctor Mario attempted to jump after it, but the stubborn ball would not break. His blood ran cold as he heard the engine of the Dragoon speed off. Its threatening beep could be heard in the far-off reaches. No doubt, its reticle was primed for him.

The Dragoon's spiked hull sliced across the back. Like Lyn's rapier, but 100 times more painful. Doctor Mario helplessly careened towards the Blast Zone.

GAME!

"And Doctor Mario gets swept surprise surprise," cackled Cranky.

"Hey, he did the best he's done so far!" 9-Volt's angry retort squeaked.

Meanwhile, Sheik threw a kick at the camera, as the splash screen declared…

"SHEIK WINS!"

A clapping Doctor Mario was given the floor when Rita appeared to interview him, "Good work out there," she said.

"Yeah," Doctor Mario shrugged, "I tried. This is the best I've ever done! Good luck out there Zelda!"

The doctor saluted, walking off camera. Meanwhile, Mister Zero was interviewing Sheik, who had transformed back into Zelda, "An excellent win out there! What do you have to say for The Ice Climbers."

"Two Melee alum on an upward trend! May the best Meleer win!" she giggled, walking off camera.

Zelda walked up the tunnel and to the Smashers Box. As the Links, Banjo, Kazooie, and The Kongs hounded her, she peeked over DK's massive shoulder to see the Ice Climbers talking with Erdrick.

Well, I know who to talk to about them," Zelda thought, putting in the bare minimum in responding to the congratulations around her.

"Randomizer!" announced Sans.

The available matches cycled through, landing on…

"SLY COOPER VERSUS DANTE!" the commentators announced.

"This party's getting crazy, let's rock!" Dante cheered.

The two walked towards ROB at the front of the room, Sly Cooper receiving final instructions from Bentley and Murray via com.

"Sly Cooper, you are to report through Tunnel A. Dante, you are to report through Tunnel B."

"Sweet. Good luck trash Panda," Dante mockingly saluted him as he headed down the tunnel.

Sly rolled his eyes, only pausing as he heard Dante rev a motorcycle, as he himself headed down the tunnel.