Round 1:

Pichu vs. Falco

Pichu rolled on the floor laughing in his match graphic, much to the amusement of the new Smashers watching. His previous tournament reel was anemic by comparison, featuring some particularly fast combo work against Bowser, cutting abruptly seemingly seconds after it began. Now, Pichu sat, sprawled out in the hot seat

"What's up everybody?" asked the little mouse, waving a paw," I'm Pichu! My opponent is Falco."

"Okay, before we get to the usual questions…" Nikki sighed from off-camera.

Pichu cocked his head, confused.

"You still…hurt yourself when you discharge electricity?"

Pichu was suddenly chipper again, "Yep! Master Hand said it's a cost of altering my DNA to learn Skull Bash. Dad said it makes me special, but I don't think he likes it very much…"

"So not every Pichu does it, despite the Pokedex's all saying the opposite?"

"Yeah!" Pichu snapped, his face now over-dramatically dejected, "Apparently I was such a joke that people in the Pokemon community started the rumor about my kind."

Nikki coughed, "Moving on," she hurriedly said, "What do you think of Falco?"

"He seems nice enough, even if he pisses people off, but if he's alright by Dad, he's alright by me."

"Who're you looking forward to fighting the most?" Nikki asked.

" I mean, I wanna fight all the people I missed out on fighting in the tournies along the way, but really the two most important fights to me Dad, or, I guess Pikachu as most people know him and Uncle Mewtwo mostly. I wanna go back to my roots as a Pichu with the moveset, and I wanna show 'em what I can do without Skull Bash."

"That was the other thing I was going to ask. You've left one of your four special moves a secret, even from me. What is it?"

Pichu winked, giggling mischievously, "It's a secret."

"I don't get paid enough for this nonsense," groaned Nikki, "Thanks for your time, always good to see you."

"You too," the Pokemon nodded spiritedly, skittering off of the chair and off-camera.

Whereas Pichu's motion graphic was animated and gleeful, Falco simply crossed his arms, staring directly into the camera. His tournament highlights, a long story of fantastic, reckless maneuvers played. Now Falco sat upon the chair, arms crossed, an indignant scowl on his face.

"Ey yo, I just wanna say fuck that pretty boy Marth for knockin' me out in Melee, fuck Kirby for gettin' to the championship offa me in Brawl, an' Foxie, even though I love ya like a kid brother, fuck you too for that bullshit in Duel."
"Well I guess that eliminates the 'who do you want to fight question," Nikki grumbled, "What do you think of Pichu.

Falco shrugged, "Good kid, but he's a friggin mook, I've fought bigger badder dudes a keg deep in Corneria on a Saturday night, this should be easy."

"Thank you for your time," Nikki sighed.

Falco chuckled, standing and waving, "Any time sweetheart.

Nikki's grumbling was the background music to stunned commentators, who went from frozen in shock to pitching with, presumably the cue of a red light.
"An animated decree from Falco," 9-Volt remarked, "Futaba, who you got?"

"Pichu," matter-of-factly stated their game-obsessed counterpart.

"WHAT?" balked half the Cranky, "You gotta be kiddin! That boy couldn't spell competitively viable if you spotted him half the letters."

"I thought you said competitive Pokemon was a bunch of crap. In fact, you've said that a bunch of times," Futaba squeaked, indignant.

"I mean, I have to agree with Futaba here."

"It is crap," Cranky shouted, "But even it is more based in reality than whatever caca you just said!"

"I dunno," said a suspicious Futaba, "Something about Pichu's new move makes me think he has an x-factor that Falco doesn't."

As if on cue, upbeat drums hit the speakers of Smash Stadium, followed shortly by the tried and true acapella of "doo-doo-doo doo doo doo,"
As Pichu bounced on stage, the lyrics kicked in.

Everybody wants to be a master

Everybody wants to be at the top of the hill.

"YO! Best anime theme," 9-Volt cheered as Pichu skipped out to hordes of squealing women and children, "Johto Journies rocks."

"Bah," Cranky spat, "Pokemon peaked in Gen 1, and that's generous."

As Pichu made it to his place in the middle of the arena. The music was replaced by something orchestral backed by an acoustic guitar. Much like Fox, Falco ejected from an Arwing. Unlike Fox, who came in for an unremarkable skydive. Falco somersaulted through the air, landing on his feet right in front of Pichu, taking a mocking bow.

"Ya know what?" Cranky ranted, "I have to change my pick to Pichu. If I have to see one more conceded asshole skydive tonight I'm gonna cause a fuss."

"Like you've been doing all night," sniggered 9-Volt.

"Yes!" snapped the ape, "Especially if the theme is a character theme from the trash heap known as Star Fox Command.

"The sound chip wasn't super great on the DS, calm down," 9-Volt bickered back.

"Donkey Kong Country had memorable, real-sounding music on the SNES, a whole decade before the DS came out. What's the Nintendo Dumbshit's excuse?"

Thankfully, Mills Frames appeared in his designated spot, in between the two competitors.

"The following contest is a Round 1 Matchup of the Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Tournament," began the Wire Frame emcee, "The winner of this match will face either Marth or Lucina in Round 1."

Letting the cheers die down, Mills continued, "Introducing first, in the corner to my left. He comes to us from the Pokemon universe, he is the Loose Glass Cannon, he is PICHU!"

Pichu bowed his head to the adulation of the women and children.

"Introducing next, in the corner to my right. He comes to us from the Star Fox universe, he is Lylat's Space Ace, he is Falco!"

Falco crossed his arms, seemingly indifferent to the combination of gruff men and squealing women the sound of his fans took on.

"If Pichu wins the coin toss, the stage will be Omega Pokemon Stadium. If Falco wins the coin toss, the stage will be Lylat Cruise. Smashers, call it!"

The coin flipped into the air, "Tails!" Pichu cheered.

"Heads," called Mills, examining the coin.

Pichu shrugged, "Oh well. My new move'll see me through."

"Move schmoove," Falco rolled his eyes, "Best of luck to ya I guess but dude, you ain't gonna win."

'We'll see about that ya turkey!" growled Pichu

"Smashers, are you ready?" Mills asked, "You all know the rules, two stocks, items medium."

"Yeah yeah," Falco scoffed

Pichu simply nodded. At that moment, the young Pokemon and the grizzled pilot blinked out of existence, appearing on the big screen.

Stage: Lylat Cruise

Rules: 2-stock, items medium

Music: Area 6

3

Pichu appeared in a flash of light, similar to the opening of a Pokeball.

2

Falco landed from a dive, much as he had to enter the arena.

1

Falco aimed his gun. Pichu's cheeks sparked.

GO!

Pichu made the first move, flying towards Falco. The little rat's eyes widened though when Falco took a lurching step, jumping forward, the force of which gave Pichu his first bit of damage. The following laser blast, and jumping forward to twist into Pichu's body again only exacerbated matters. Pichu fired a Thundershock into the air, but in a blue flash, Falco cut through it, bodychecking Pichu as he went. Pichu was already limp, falling towards the blast zone, Falco following.

"Look out little mouse," Cranky chortled, "Because you're across the ring from a bird of prey."

"Bird of prey nothing! He's just putting on the disrespect."

Pichu's body tensed. Just as it did, Falco had already primed Fire Falco, jetting him up to the ledge. Meanwhile, Pichu shot through the air via Quick Attack, but Falco was quicker on the draw, driving his metal boots into Pichu's unsuspecting head, knocking him a mere fingertip away from the lower Blast Zone. With a tiny growl, Pichu jutted back up.

"Oh no," 9-Volt moaned.

Two items dropped from directly above Falco, a piece of the Dragoon and the Super Mushroom. Now effortlessly giant, Falco's mocking, almost playful slaps served as easy swipes of the remaining Dragoon parts. Now, Falco was atop the machine, but unlike Fox earlier, Falco aimed the vehicle, slamming it into Pichu for the easy KO.

Pichu: 1

Falco: 2

"That's how you do Foxie!" Falco shouted, aggressively punching his left pectoral muscle.

The blue avian didn't celebrate for long though, as Pichu was already down from the Revival Platform. A blue shell had appeared between the two but a timely jabbing headbutt from Pichu ensured the infamous weapon belonged to the Pichu. As he threw it up, Falco charged him to close the distance, only to have his red armor grabbed by Pichu's nubby paws. Pichu tossed him upward with all his strength.

"CHUUUUUUU!" screamed the rodent.

A thunder cloud appeared, the lightning that erupted from it trapping both Smashers in an onslaught of electricity. The Blue Shell flipped over, crashing into its equally blue victim, careening him into the Blast Zone.

Pichu: 1

Falco: 1

"I don't feel like Falco should have invoked Fox's name after the last stock. The last match had a Blue Shell in it too, and Falco's the one who got knocked out of first place."

"For once, I agree with you twerp," sneered Cranky, "Cocky bastard got what was coming to him."

"Alright," Falco huffed as he jumped down from the Revival Platform.

He grinned at Pichu, who shook from his last electric jolt, his breathing labored.

"You ain't got any more stunts like that left in ya," chided the bird, "Why don't ya do what Porky did and step aside. Ain't gon feel good about beating up a kid, especially when they're already fucked, so I'm tellin' you man just."

And then, Pichu stood on his toe, striking a ballet pose. As he spun and skipped…it began to rain.

"The hell?" yipped Falco.

Mid ballet prance, electricity erupted from Pichu's cheeks, artfully zigzagging across the raindrops, striking Falco in the chest. The sound of lightning on metal drew a pained gasp from the crowd. Meanwhile, Falco staggered backward, already panting, and swearing whenever his belabored state allowed for words. Then another, then another.

"His new move," 9-Volt cried, "It's Rain Dance!"

"No way!"

Falco was defenseless for Pichu's charge, the baby Pokemon bolting determinedly toward his target, latching onto his head.

"CHUUUUUUUUUU!" the Pokemon bellowed.

This time, the thunder that came down was so fierce it blanketed the entire arena in a blinding white. The only thing brighter was a blue blast of light, indicating that Falco had gone to the Blast Zone.

"Seven Stars, look at the damage," 9-Volt announced through gritted teeth.

Both Smashers were at %999.

"Incredible…" Cranky wheezed, jaw audibly agape.

Pichu was on the Smash Courtyard, hopping up and down in a circle, thrusting his left paw into the air just as the splash screen announced the incredible victory.

PICHU WINS!

Falco stood, arms crossed, eyes closed, grinning as Mister Zero interviewed him.

"What even was that?" exclaimed the man in the garish purple suit.

"That was my stupid ass underestimating the kid. Pichu, that victory was well earned. Foxie, Wolf, Krystal, give the rest of these bozos hell, but then again, I don't think me being the only one to get left behind in the first round is surprisin' to none of you neither."

With a chuckle, Falco ambled off.

"Wow Pichu!" cheered Rita, skitting to her knees to aim the microphone in the direction of the tiny Smasher, "Incredible victory!"

"I…won. Oh my Arceus I won," wheezed Pichu.

"Do you have any parting words as we move on?"

Sucking wind, Pichu shouted, "I'm gonna keep winning because little guys can do big things too!" skipping up the tunnel.

As soon as Pichu stepped into the Smashers' Box, he was picked up into a hug by Chrom.

"Pichu you rapscallion you've made me a very wealthy man."

"And me," Captain Falcon piped in.

"How?" Pichu inquired.

"Sir Falcon and myself were the only two people who voted for you of all the people in the stadium voting. The odds are incredible."

"Well, I'm glad somebody believed in me." Pichu chuckled.

"You ain't gonna keep getting away with that, cause me and anybody with two brain cells to rub together'll be votin' for you next round."

"Randomizer everybody!" called out Mikey, his shrill voice silencing the noisy room.

The randomizer cycled through the remaining matches, landing on…
"LUCAS VERSUS DIDDY KONG!"

"YES!" Toon Link cheered, "Remember our rematch."

"I will," Lucas affirmed just barely loud enough to be heard.

Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong high-fived, miming beating their chests while hopping in a circle on one foot. The ritual culminated in a fist bump.

"Ah shit," groaned Falco, "First I cap out at a million then I gotta watch this crap again."

Fox put a mocking arm on his friend's shoulder, grinning, "I think it's cool."

"EY!" Falco yelled so loudly his voice cracked into a squawk, "If you win in the first round, we're doin' that shit."

Fox shrugged, chuckling, "Whatever, I'm game."

Meanwhile, Lucas and Diddy had walked to the front of the room.

"Lucas, you're in Tunnel A, Diddy, Tunnel B."

Diddy bounded down the tunnel without a word.

"Oh…um…thanks," Lucas proclaimed in the tiniest voice imaginable.

Ness watched his friend gaze down the tunnel.

Mom…Dad…Claus….they're here, Ness heard Lucas' thoughts reverberate.

And with that, Lucas' slouching posture snapped to the rigid attention of a soldier, walking down the tunnel.

"Hey Cap, put me down for 100 bucks on Lucas?"

Captain Falcon chuckled, "Sure, but what about Diddy, he's way more unpredictable and acrobatic."

"Yeah," Ness conceded with a nod, "But Lucas has his game face on."