King Dedede vs Lucario

Lucario leaned against Tunnel B's wall, arms crossed, eyes closed. All the Aura in Smash Stadium was open to him. Emotions of all kinds rang out with the flow of blood in veins and the twitches of organs at varying capacities of function.

Every member of his species learns as a cub that if one focuses on the Aura around them, it becomes background noise. Anything that deviates from that, that is where the danger lies, that is what deserves a survival-savvy Lucario's attention. Luckily for this Lucario, he found his focus quicker than most. This is why he was a Smasher.

Lucario found himself biding the time by focusing on the past. He had heard Dedede's interview while waiting in line for the second round. It had mostly been an unhinged, angry rant about his "Half the brain," guffaw from the round previous. In contrast, Lucario had refused an interview. He knew what he had to do, and didn't feel the need to broadcast it. As the traditional music played, heralding the pompous arrival of King Dedede, he ran through the objective that had been dancing in his head all day one last time.

Let the child have his tantrum.

As if the universe itself had cued him, the war drums of his long-forgotten homeland rang out. Cranky was likely saying some nonsense about "Pokemon Conquest," but he paid such otherworldly drivel no mind. Using Extreme Speed, he jetted to the center of the arena. In his introduction, Dedede's heart pounded underneath a perfect wall of fat and muscle, his hollering bringing soundwaves to the tranquil world of Aura, much to Lucario's annoyance. Lucario's introduction brought a harsher response than it had in Round One. Miss Trainer had warned him that his decision to use a composition reserved for a legendary Pokemon had put into the gossip magazines that he had developed an ego and was difficult to work with.

Lucario stood stoic. Forget them. The thrill of battle was all that mattered to him.

The stage randomizer flipped to Yggdrasil's Altar. Dedede yammered some more, but Lucario stood firm. Dedede cocked his head in confusion, his heartbeat jackrabbiting. Lucario suppressed a smile.

He had him right where he wanted him.

Mills Frames explained the rules, and he was teleported to true silence. He'd opened his eyes here before, seen the match parameters and the name of the background music flash before him. But that wasn't worth it. This is the only true silence he'd ever feel, so it was best to right himself one last time.

The Waddle Dees carried King Dedede out to the center of the Altar to the opening salvo of Adventure from Dragonquest III's soundtrack.

3

Lucario zoomed out, puffing out his chest and roaring, before going back to his usual stance, arms crossed, eyes closed.

2

"Uh, you alright kid?" Dedede asked worriedly.

1

"I mean, if you're too yella ta face the mighty Dedede, ya should say somethin'. If there's anything we value in my neck o' the woods, it's consent!"

GO!

Lucario stalked forward slowly, growling as he moved.

King Dedede shrugged, "Yer funeral cowpoke,"

Throwing his weight forward into a shoulder roll, Dedede's mass collided with Lucario, and the Pokemon was immediately bulldozed.

"Have a little bit o' this!" Dedede cried.

Thrusting his hammer forward, the revolving hammerhead ground into Lucario, sending him straight up. Dedede kept his eye on him, positioning himself to swing.

"BATTER UP!"

WHAM!

Wood and metal connected with flesh, sending him up once again. Dedede scooted away from a downward blast of Aura, swinging for the fences again. Again, the hammer connected. A third swing went unresponded to. Lucario attempted to use the arena's gravity to float away from the pummeling, but Dedede charged forward.

"BELLEH FLOP TIME!"

Sliding on one foot and crashing down. Lucario collided with Dedede, the Pokemon coming within an inch of going into the Blast Zone. Even though Lucario had survived the stock for now. Dedede couldn't help but laugh, his signature booming cackle ringing out all throughout the Altar, nodding earnestly as Lucario used Extreme Speed. Dedede spread his stubby flippers wide, only for Lucario to fly between his legs.

"What in the Sam Hill?" blubbered Dedede.

The emperor then lumbered into a slash of the Death Scythe, but Dedede had ground the revolving head of his mallet into Lucario's chest. Even a direct Force Palm in response couldn't respond to the Dreamland dictator's next move, a belly flop in combination with a bouncing Gordo, each crashing into Lucario. King Dedede grabbed the next item to appear on stage, a Warp Star, using the momentum from the inevitable, wild crash to hammer Lucario as he fell to earth .ln a barrage of warbled growls, Lucario jetted down to the Blast Zone.
King Dedede: 3

Lucario 2

"HEH! I KNOCKED OLE FOX AND THE HOUND DINGY!" hooted Dedede.

Unfortunately for the king, his boasting set forth a series of unfortunate events, Lucario was quick enough to grab a Pokeball, which revealed a Vulpix. This allowed Lucario to grab an Assist Trophy, which brought Shadow the Hedgehog to the field. Another Assist Trophy fell, and a slowed, burning Dedede could only watch as Phosphora appeared. The elements of fire and thunder melded together to pummel Dedede, but Dedede was able to dart between Phosphora's follow-up attacks, lazy fans of lightning, as Shadow and Vulpix disappeared. He was even quick-witted enough to dodge an Aura Sphere, launching a Gordo as he fell, which bonked Lucario. However, he fell for the Extreme Speed between the legs trick again.

"Dag nabit," Dedede hissed.

Dedede saw Lucario flip over him, Bomber in hand.

"The hell're you doing?" boomed the king's demand.

Lucario made his way over to a separate platform on the leftmost point of the arena, the marble floor containing only a treasure chest. Lucario held the Bomber above his head. The explosion snapped open the treasure chest, revealing a set of teeth. Lucario shut his eyes as the treasure chest-looking beast clamped down, not registering pain, but acceptance.

"His damage just jumped from 52 to 80!" cried 9-Volt.

An evil grin etched on his maw, Dedede let forth a sinister chuckle.

"Well ain't you just a regular Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer. Bring it boy, if you dare."

Smashers' Box

Erdrick's audible shudder quieted the Smashers Box.

"Zounds," his voice a shaky whisper, "A Mimic. Their teeth can shred the finest blacksmith's finest shield, but Lucario invited it. Incredible."

"Aura," blurted Green, "That's the power of Aura,"

"This and the fact that Dedede loves pain," Dark Pit shivered.

"Ugh, been there," Popo agreed.

"Yehhhh," Nana groaned.

"Don't remind me," grumbled Link.

"Hmm,"
Meta-Knight's thoughtful grunt brought all attention to him.

"I have sparred against His Majesty more times than I can count. I've also fought Lucario under tournament rules and during the Subspace War. Dedede is an impenetrable wall when he chooses to be, and I've never seen Lucario exhibit any wasted motion ever."

"Yeah, brother!" cheered Incineroar, "The Irresistible Force versus The Immovable Object,"

"So what you're saying," Sans sighed, putting his feet up on an unoccupied auditorium seat in front of him, "is this'll take a while."

30 minutes later

Gordo, Aura Sphere, Gordo, Aura Sphere, Gordo.

The Smashers watched with tired eyes as the two volleyed back and forth for the last half hour, both Lucario and Dedede's damage percentile on the north end of 150, neither fighter even looking winded.

"Fuck man," Dante sighed, pulling a can of store-brand cola from his trenchcoat, popping it open, "And I thought the war between humans and demons ran long.

"Where'd you get that?" demanded Travis.

"I've got a whole six-pack in this thing. Do you want one? It's warm." Dante warned.

"Dude, I'll take anything at this point."

Dante wordlessly removed another can from his coat, tossing it lightly to Travis.

"Hey," Lucas spoke up, "Don't the Smash Balls usually have a time limit on them?"

Quinn nodded. Dedede had gotten a Smash Ball around the 15-minute mark of this war of attrition and had kept it for the rest of the volley.

"It is His Majesty's training," Meta-Knight answered, "The same endurance that allows him to fly like Kirby,"

Meta-Knight cast a reflexively, worried glance at the puffball, snuggled up against Pikachu and Pichu, the three sound asleep.

"… That allows him to retain such power for longer than most."

Meanwhile, on the battlefield, a Launch Star appeared behind Dedede another devious smile coming over him. He grabbed the magical catapult, throwing it into the air to activate himself, and jumped into it, into the Blast Zone.

As the score of two even took over the screen, Daisy shouted, "WHAT THE HELL?" over the murmuring.

The critics were silenced when Dedede tumbled down from the Revival Platform, striking Lucario with his mallet hard enough to send him to the Blast Zone. The score was now 2-1.

"No enemy benefits from prolonged warfare pardnuh," gloated Dedede.

"Dedede's read Art of War?" Makoto shouted, shocked.

"He can read?" bellowed Ganondorf.

Murmurs from the veterans backed up Ganondorf's point. Meanwhile, on the battlefield, Lucario had Extreme Speeded right into Dedede's bulbous belly, the emperor penguin scooting away.

"Ya don't think a man as big as me has studied the art of Sumo rasslin'? You're dumber than day-old grits boy," Dedede yelled, activating his shield.

Lucario roared, Force Palming Dedede faster than he could react. Before he knew it, he was at the rightmost edge of the Altar, a shield the size of a nickel. Lucario gave it a simple claw swipe. Blue electricity jolted up Dedede as punishment, leaving him helpless on his plummet to the Blast Zone.

King Dedede: 1

Lucario: 1

"Okay," Dedede huffed, "Ya wanna play this like some sorta Shania Twain hootenanny?"

Dedede jerked a thumb behind him, pointing to a green shell, Lucario caught a Staff out of his peripheral vision.

"HEH HEH HEH! Let's go girls!" declared Dedede.

Discussion inside the Smashers' Box was once again aflutter, "Huh, always pegged Dedede as a Conway Twitty kinda guy," Sans remarked.

"Trust me," growled Snake, "That was a phase all of us Brawl vets would like to forget,"

On the battlefield, the standoff finally broke. Aura Sphere's and Gordos once again bounced off each other, this time accompanied by a thrown Green Shell and a blast of laser from the staff, knocking the Green Shell back into Dedede. At that moment, a Super Mushroom fell on top of Lucario. Lucario didn't even have to process what was happening, he knew what to do. Two Aura Spheres were enough to push Dedede too far for hopes of recovery. The self-proclaimed king laughed all the way to the Blast Zone.

GAME!

Eyes closed and arms crossed, Lucario uttered one phrase, "The aura is always with me,"

With that, the splash screen cemented his victory as Dedede clapped in a smaller quadrant of the screen. The screen expanded as Mister Zero stepped into the frame, microphone in hand.

"Tough loss out there champ, but your reaction was odd. What's going on in that head of yours?"

Dedede laughed, "I didn't think anyone 'sides Kirbeh was capable of bringing that outta me. It's always fun when you've got two meaty men, slappin' meat!"

Mister Zero snickered, and Dedede's face immediately fell.

"DAG NABBIT! NOT AGAIN!" he screamed, bounding off camera.

The scene abruptly cut to Rita, who was standing in front of a meditating Lucario, "Lucario, what's your mindset going into a match next round with either Toon Link or Wolf?"

"What matters is that I got lucky," growled Lucario, "I must train so that even if luck isn't in my favor, I can persevere. I'll need it to face either of them,"

"Alright, Cranky, 9-Volt, back to you," Rita said

"Alright, we're up!" Toon Link cheered, "Let's go!"

"Yeah," Wolf snarled, spitting a mouthful of tobacco on the floor to his side, "Let's,"

Toon Link flounced down Tunnel A without instruction, while Wolf lurched through Tunnel B, mumbling obscenities the whole way down.