Round 2
Quinn vs. Sans
The crack of a fist on Sans' skull started the video package abruptly. Sans' fall to the floor was dramatically slowed, with gossip news sites recapping the event, as well as superimposed newspaper clippings from all over the multiverse.
"So, why'd you do it?" began Nikki.
"This is gonna sound super petty, but he'd been riding my ass about stuff ever since the end of Round 1, and when he brought up Rosalina I just…lost it."
Now, Sans' eerie, frozen smile was on screen.
"So, why'd you do it?" asked Nikki.
"Cuz I wanna see how he fights angry. He's a good kid, but soft, and it's up to ole Uncle Sans to toughen him up.
"You insulted one of his friends just for that?"
"What was I gonna do, insult his taste in contemporary jazz?" Sans laughed, " If I learned anything as a standup comedian, it's that you gotta pick at people's scabs if you want a reaction out of 'em."
"Remind me to skip your shows," grumbled Nikki.
"Eh, your loss."
"Sans is playing this aloof game like he's gonna make me angry," Quinn's pre-recorded comments interrupted, " But we all room together! He acts like I haven't seen his every attempt at getting under Altair's skin. He just happened to hit the one note that would cause me to lash out."
"He seems to think I've bumbled into this somehow," Sans snarled, his eye flashing blue briefly, "But only this fight will prove what I know, that I've got him right where I want him."\
The video package was over, all eyes were on Cranky and 9-Volt.
"Heated words between our two combatants. Futaba, whatcha thinkin'." 9-Volt asked
"I'm thinking Quinn," announced Futaba, "If this was Momentos, our boy Quinn would've awoken his Persona by now. Dude's amped!"
"He sure is," agreed 9-Volt, "Let's throw it to entrances,"
The high-energy synth of the Wii Shop theme erupted as Quinn charged down the walkway. At about the halfway point, the music warbled, being replaced by a peaceful acoustic guitar and plodding drum beat.
Imagine me and you, I do, I think about you day and night, it's only right to think about the girl ya love, and hold her tight. So happy together.
Quinn put his hands on his hips, mouthing, "Fucking Sans," so clearly the camera could pick it up.
"Quinn's theme seems to be replaced by "Happy Together," by The Turtles, and Quinn seems to know what's[ up.' 9-Volt explained.
"The OG Smash theme!" cheered Cranky, "Perfect!"
"Only old farts like you will get that reference!" shouted 9-Volt as Quinn took his place on the center circle
"Young man, you're just jealous you aren't as cultured as our finest administrator, Sans the Skeleton!"
"Oh c'mon," moaned 9-Volt.
Just as he did, the opening notes of a piano piece began to play. The video wall showed rosed blooming, a pair of hands controlling marionette strings, and a calming shot of a field as the strings of Canon in D heralded the image of Papyrus fading in.
"PAPYRUS," the video wall explained
The image zoomed out on a still image of Papyrus' trademark self-assured smile.
"THE VERY VISIBLE HAND," was the last bit of new information displayed before the video began to loop.
As the video looped, Papyrus strutted out, microphone in hand. The music cut and the video wall went back to its default camera view of the action.
"For those of you who have not heard of my heroic exploits," rolled the cocky tone of Papyrus, "I am THE GRRRRREAT PAPYRUS, AND I REPRESENT MY BROTHER. THE GREATEST ADMINISTRATOR AND THE GREATEST SMASHER ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN. HE IS SANS THE BY GOD SKELETON."
I HEAR THE BATTLE CRY!
Sans strutted out, waving to his adoring fans. Papyrus knelt down.
"Look at how well I've done brother!" Papyrus whispered in a squeal so loud it was picked up by the cameras.
"Yeah, and you didn't mention how lazy I am even once," Sans nodded, speaking just as loudly, "It only took us 17 dry runs, but you did it,"
The brothers high-fived, Sans teleporting to center stage. Quinn kept his eyes on Sans for the entire introduction, both fighters missing opportunities to pose for the crowd. Sans appeared listless, glancing at the stadium above them with his hands in the pockets of his house shorts. Only the video wall flipping through the stages cast their gazes to a mutual point of interest. The picture finally stayed static on Thunder Ryu's Gym.
"Oh boy! I've been looking forward to this!" 9-Volt shouted, "This is basically a redux of Boxing Ring but with no light fixture gimmick, perfect for a no-frills smackdown."
"I prefer the jank of Just Bring It, but Here Comes the Pain is the better game. Course, nothing can compare to some good ole NES Pro Wrestling" Cranky laughed.
"The rules are 3-stock, items medium. Smashers, are you ready?" asked Mills Frames.
"I should apologize to Chara my next time around if I get one. I get why he was so into this?"
"What?" asked Mills and Quinn simultaneously.
"Nothing. Yeah, I'm ready." the skeleton said with a nod.
The two Smashers disappeared. Quinn tried to meditate amidst the darkness, but the neon green of the words displayed in the open air was too bright, too eye-catching, not to read.
Stage: Thunder Ryu's Gym
Rules: 3-stock, items medium
Music: Megalovania
Little did Quinn Marmaduke know, that he and the commentary team were in the same uproar dimensions apart.
"Since when was Megalovania part of the No More Heroes soundtrack?" asked Cranky.
"We're getting word that he let Travis train to it and forgot to take it out of the music select for Thunder Ryu's gym," explained 9-Volt, headset pressed to his ears as he received instructions from the admins.
"Forgot, sure," Cranky rolled his eyes.
3
Despite his anger, Quinn struck his fighting stance on one side of the wrestling ring.
2
On the other side, Sans flew in, riding atop a giant version of his Gaster Blaster.
1
GO!
Before Quinn could even blink, Sans was in striking distance, and his slipper-clad foot was driven firmly into his nether regions.
As every humanoid male in the arena groaned in sympathetic phantom pain, Quinn sank to his knees.
"And that," Sans chuckled, "Was for the crack about my old lady on the talk show."
As Quinn grimaced in pain, Sans stuck a finger into his mouth, giving Quinn a wet willy with the salvia-drenched finger.
Lazily moonwalking backward, Sans shot the tiniest bulb of energy he could out of his Gaster Blaster, Quinn somersaulting through the air, a blue aura enveloping him. Sans turned a full 180 degrees without moving a muscle, a clip of yellow Gaster Blaster bolts striking the perplexed fighter.
"This ain't one of Alphys' animes kid. You can't 'nothing personal kid' me," mocked Sans.
Somersaulting onto the ring ropes for an extra-bouncy maneuver, Quinn jumped off Sans's head, the skeleton briefly buried in the mat over it.
"But I can M. Bison head stomp you," mocked Quinn right back.
Sans laughed, "Very clever. You've definitely studied more fighters than you've let on."
"To use a style other than the one Master Hart lost an eye perfecting would be disrespectful to him," Quinn began, "But this isn't about respect, this is about…"
Quinn flipped into the air again with his familiar blue aura.
"Whooping…"
Another bounce off the ropes, twisting through the air once again.
"Your…"
Sans took one step backward, causing Quinn to fall into the barrage of yellow blasts once again.
"Nuh-uh, we can't risk anyone calling this story out on a false rating," mocked Sans.
Sans raised his weapon, pelting Quinn with more of the yellow blasts.
"Though, does anyone pay attention? Hell, for all we know, the fanfiction dot net mods might be dead, and all AO3 all anyone seems to care about is if Command is cano-"
"SHUT UP!" Quinn snapped, "SUPLEX!"
As he was launched into the air, Quinn's arms firmly tucked around his waist, Sans rubbed a free hand in thought.
"Yeah, you're right. I mean, multiple endings, who does tha-"
Skull met mat, metal, and wood.
"Ow!" cried Sans.
Both Smashers jumped into the air, with Sans blasting Quinn with a sneaky green laser blast. Sans charged as Quinn flew backward, tumbling to the ring below, Sans raised his Gaster Blaster to strike Quinn, but his clubbing blow bounced off of a chi-protected Quinn, causing Sans to float harmlessly past him.
"Oooh, a parry!" Sans cheered, "Reminds me of my favorite movie…"
Another green laser blast sent Quinn stumbling forward.
"Daigo Unchained," Sans said, curtsying, "Get it? Because the Diago Parry, and that movie with the one Leonardo Dicaprio meme in it?"
As Sans charged up, Quinn grabbed a Back Shield, Sans eyes widened as he depressed the trigger at the exact moment the Back Shield locked on to the Mii Fighter, all six blasts bouncing harmlessly on the shield, the blue light that emitted from the magic-infused metal simply mocking him.
Quinn whipped around, grabbing Sans' waist, spinning him around, and suplexing him onto his head.
"FINAL…"
Quinn rolled through with the move, suplexing him onto his neck and shoulders again.
"ATOMIC…"
Quinn brought Sans stomach first onto his outstretched knee, throwing him into the air, catching him, and spinning so that he would fall headfirst.
"BUSTER!" he finished as the move landed.
Quinn kipped backward into a standing position, "Get up!" he spat, "Get up!"
"So," Sans said, shakily getting to his feet, "You think you're special because you're some wrestling savant?"
At that moment, a Homerun Bat appeared, falling out of the air, and neatly into Sans' outstretched hand. Sans wasted no time in charging a home run swing. Quinn brought up his shield at the last second, the collision with the bat immediately depleting all of it. Red electricity coursing through him, Quinn flopped lazily through the air, unable to do anything other than stand up upon landing.
"That conversation about wrestling you had with Undyne when we all went to Grillby's? Did you think I wasn't listening?"
Sans cocked back again, the bat glowing threateningly.
"All the suplexes and piledrivers in the world," Sans grunted.
The bat connected with Quinn's face, sending him to the Blast Zone.
"Won't save you when I've spent all that training time memorizing the mathematical sequence that determines which items will appear."
Quinn: 2
Sans: 3
Sans charged his blast to full, completely nonplussed that Quinn was stomping towards him with murderous intent.
"I think it's a mathematical formula only The Hands can understand, written in some kinda funky language. But, when you've worked for the guy I used to work for, you see some crazy formulas, believe you me,"
A running, flying dropkick connected both of Quinn's metal boots with Sans' cheeks, sending him to the Blast Zone.
Quinn: 2
Sans: 2
Sans charged his Gaster Blaster atop the Revival Platform, floating down just as an Assist Trophy appeared, it again landing perfectly in his outstretched hand. He landed, holding the trophy out to reveal Shadow.
"Also know the math behind the Assist Trophy character appearance rate. Wouldn't have gotten it if it were some bum like Starfy,"
As Quinn slowed and then froze, Sans winked at the camera.
"No offense to our friends who like the games Starfy is in, of course,"
A fully charged Gaster Blast and a Shortcut assaulted the frozen Mii Fighter. As the effects of Chaos control disappeared, a Killing Edge landed right at Quinn's feet. Screaming as he shook off the soot and electricity from Sans' most recent attacks, Quinn scooped up the sword. Quinn slashed out three times, Sans flipping away from each one.
"Wait for it…"
Sans avoided another swing of the sword and yet another. The third, however, cut his shirt.
"Damn dude, I said wait!" shouted Sans.
Another Killing Edge appeared right above Sans falling into his waiting arms.
"Ah, there we go,"
The two clashed swords in a series of slashes unseeable to the human eye. Suddenly, the blade of both swords turned purple, and both swung, striking the other. The heavily damaged Quinn rocketed to the right Blast Zone, while Quinn's strike was just enough to send Sans to the left Blast Zone.
Quinn: 1
Sans: 1
"Quinn with a very lucky clinch of Sans' second stock. How will the grappler fight the gunner?" Cranky asked the audience.
Both went for the next item to spawn, a box, each hoisting up one side, Quinn dropped his load, cocking his fist back and striking the box as hard as he could. The box exploded, but not before a Final Smash floated out of the smoke.
"I knew it'd come down to this," Sans explained as he easily shot a blast, breaking the Final Smash easily with a single blast, "So I threw this in for fun. Enjoy being on the sidelines with your old lady for me,"
Sans' Gaster Blaster began to charge the biggest blast of energy Quinn had seen from the weapon, assisted by four other tiny Gaster Blasters orbiting it.
"BURN IN HELL!" screamed Sans.
All five blasters fired. At the last second, Quinn hooked his arms in the ropes. He took it all, but he wasn't going anywhere.
The blasts finally stopped. Through blurry vision and cracked glasses. Quinn was at 70 percent damage a climbing. Had he poisoned him? He couldn't think about that now. He charged forward.
Judging by Sans' widening eyes, he'd realized that Quinn was still in the ring too late, as floating behind him and dumping him head first over the ropes was as easy as suplexing flower in Master Hart's gym had been, Quinn glanced over his shoulder. Sans was staggered, but nearly to his feet. Without thought, Quinn jumped to the nearest turnbuckle, jumping off of it, and doing a 180 flip as he descended, hooking Sans' head in a locked arm, taking him down with him.
The Smashers' Box, along with the stadium itself was electric, but none more than Incineroar.
"WOAH!" screamed Incineroar, "DID THAT MII FIGHTER JABRONI DO A SHOOTING STAR DDT?"
"He did," Ryu nodded, "El Fuerte and are skilled in such things."
He turned to Ken.
"I never noticed it before, but…"
"I can feel his chi too, yeah. A lot like Sean's, come to think of it," Ken agreed.
"But unlike Sean, he mastered the Final Atomic Buster by observation alone. Do you think he's the one that…"
"Yeah," Ken nodded, "Short of getting our hands on one of the Seth prototypes, he's the one us World Warriors are gonna put our heads together on."
At seemingly, the speed of light, Chun-Li was in between them. Is Project World Tour actually on?"
Ryu held a finger to his lips.
"We must discuss it with the others, but this is as solid a candidate as I've ever seen."
Chun-Li nodded, an ear-to-ear grin on her face.
The general jovial mood of the Smashers Box died the moment Sans kipped to his feet, Quinn still spasming on the floor.
On the Thunder Ryu's gym stage, Sans charged his Gaster Blaster, "You know kid, I honestly thought I was gonna dog walk ya. But you did good, right until the end."
The Blaster finished charging, its cannon glinting with anticipation.\
"But you had to go and do something stupid. Ya know, I did something stupid, and I died. Think about that while you watch Round 3. That's all I want you to do kid, is think ab-"
tra la la
In the Smashers' Box, Krystal, Ness, Lucas, and Mewtwo all cried out, each wailing in pain grabbing their heads, eyes squeezed shut. Fox immediately ran to Krystal, while Falcon ran to the sides of the Earthbound duo and Nana ran to Mewtwo's side. At that moment, Rosalina began to cry out.
"I tried to fight it, but I couldn't!" she screamed as Daisy, Luigi and Peach ran to her side.
Meanwhile, Fox was stroking Krystal's hair,
"Krystal, baby, what's wrong?" he whispered softly
"That presence around Sans," warned Akechi, "I've felt it since I got here, and now he's here."
"Is that why he's frozen like a-" Dante asked.
"Who, who's here?" Mario asked frantically, ignoring the devil hunter
The six psychics' eyes all snapped open, their usual eyes replaced with black eyes with white pupils and black irises.
"Oh Sans," each of them hissed in a smooth, intelligent male voice, "Daddy's home."
"Oh shit, it's WD Gaster," breathed Travis
For Sans, the world seemed to freeze, a mist forming in front of them. The mist dissipated, and there he stood. WD Gaster stood before him, a red-eyed Gaster Blaster snarling behind him, seven orbs of varying color floating around two disembodied, skeletal hands.
"You speak English now old man?"
Much like you are the perfect Sans, I am the perfect Gaster. Those others who could not re-acclimate themselves to human speech are imperfect and were eliminated.
In the silence, Sans realized what the orbs were.
"The souls," Sans gasped, "But we…Frisk saved them."
In your world you did. But I have found a world in which they were put to better use. In my hands!
Sans sighed, head hung, "So you've sided with them, huh old man?"
The old man's smile creaked into being, red ooze leaking from his mouth
You know the universe. It stinks, together, we can right it.
"Not with the Souls used like a weapon. Mario knows everything that happened. We can set everything right without using the souls of those kids. Please, dad…please…"
You are weak boy, just like your king.
"Asgore, thank God, he didn't…"
He, like you, is irrelevant. We have already acquired the services of the two boys. The boys you all left to die!
"Chara and Asriel…" Sans gasped.
Very good boy. Although, none of this matters to me. They allowed me to fulfill my one demand.
"What's that?"
this
In a flash, Gaster was gone, and Quinn stood before him, hunched over as if to tackle him around the waste. One final warning echoed through the air.
BEWARE THE MAN WHO SPEAKS IN HANDS
Before Sans could register what was going on, he was lifted off the ground. Quinn charged, throwing Sans into the Blast Zone.
GAME!
Quinn snapped into his fighter stance, the splash screen declaring his win. Meanwhile, the psychics were coming out of their haze.
"Hmph, weak," Vergil sneered at Fox and Krystal.
"I'd like to see you stand up to a psychic like that," snapped Fox, "Krystal, are you okay,"
"Yes," whispered Krystal, "I saw us…together…on Sauria. With a cub. Marcus…his name was Marcus."
"I saw my ideal future as well," Mewtwo explained, somehow none the worse for wear, "A utopia for Pokemon who do not wish to be trained by humans."
"I was with mom, dad, and Claus," whimpered Lucas.
"God I feel bad," Ness muttered, scratching the back of his head, "I just saw me and Paula listening to music. Not too much different from my actual future."
"I traveled the stars with…him," breathed Rosalina.
"Palutena, you're psychic too aren't you?" Mario asked.
"Yes," Palutena nodded, "But I'm a goddess. I can see all potential futures, so whatever nonsense Gaster just pulled, I was unaffected, even though I did feel it. How Sans operates with that energy orbiting him, I have no idea…"
"I agree with Palutena," Lucario growled, "I've felt many poisoned, evil auras, but there is no doubt in mind that this was the evilest."
"Thank you for your input Your Holiness, Lucario, but this is a discussion best tabled for later. Mario, how do you wish to proceed?"
"We can't let on that anything is wrong. Proceed with Pacman and Robin's match, then we'll get everyone situated. Doctor Mario, prep your CAT scan equipment, we'll need to see if there are any aftereffects, pronto."
"Got it," Doctor Mario saluted, immediately punching in a code and disappearing.
"Everyone alright?" was Mario's question to the psychics.
"Never better," was Krystal's answer among the affirmatives.
"Okay," Mario nodded.
"Proceed as planned, we just had a minor medical event," quacked Mikey into his headset.
"Sans," asked Mister Zero, "What on Earth happened out there,"
"I have a bit of a history with having to ice kids," Sans said, regret in his voice, "And I just froze up. That's all. Quinn. Good luck, you earned that one."
With that, he waved, wandering up the tunnel.
"Quinn Marmaduke, once again you pull off yet another upset. Take us through everything."
"Well, I tanked his Final Smash, and I guess he couldn't think of anything more to do when it came down to it. Well, Sans, one man's trash performance is another man's fight of the night bonus! But enough about that. Little Mac, you and I are quite a bit alike, come-from-nowhere kids in this world of gods and superheroes, but when we battle, one of us will actually stand among them as equals. See you out there."
Quinn bounded up the tunnel just in time to see Sans pop into the room, standing with Mario.
"Mustache, we need to talk..."
"Damn right we do," Mario snapped, "Gaster is your father? I thought he was your friend."
"If your father did something like he did to the psychics, would you want to acknowledge him?"
"How do you know about that?" Mario asked.
"Because I've seen him inhabit bodies before. He has followers from other dimensions. Grey versions of people we know, and based on machine's readings, are all psychics."
Quinn's jaw hung open. He had heard Sans tossing and turning, speaking only that name.
I didn't think… he thought
Quinn was snapped out of his thoughts by Rosalina throwing his arms around him, holding him silently. Looking to Mario for assistance, the man's mustache bristled.
"We'll brief you later. Pacman, Robin, you're up."
"Been looking to get away from whatever gnarly trip shit just happened," Pacman wiped his brow, walking down Tunnel A.
With one final hug from Lucina, Robin walked down Tunnel B, his face scrunched in thought.