Round 3
Donkey Kong vs. Dark Samus
It was routine by this point. Wake up ungodly early, shower, brush your teeth, and slip into gear. Hit with a brief existential crisis after finding his reflection in the mirror that he'd made it three whole rounds into the tournament, Quinn shook himself free, walking out the door with Altair, only for Sans to pop in between them.
"And where have you been all weekend?" snapped Altair.
"Who are you, my dad?" Sans shot back as they walked, "I've been partying with the homies. Not often I get to do that."
"Speaking of," Quinn asked, his tone worried, "You alright after that run-in with…"
"Yeah," Sans sighed, "You know when something good happens to an utter douche-nozzle and you start to think that that same thing could happen to you in another world."
"That's not how I look at the world, no." flatly stated Altair as they joined the herd walking down the stairs.
"Yeah, I get you, Sans," Quinn nodded.
"That's how I feel about the whole 'perfect timeline' thing," Sans explained, "If Gaster can assemble his perfect self, then maybe I can save everyone some grief."
Quinn could only nod silently as Sans drifted off to psyche up Dante and Travis. As he sat down to eat the usual Smasher's breakfast of a Power Pellet, he saw Altair staring at him. It wasn't until Quinn took a bite of the fleshy miracle fruit that Altair spoke.
"Does something seem different about Sans to you?"
Startled. Quinn forced the big bite of breakfast down his throat, "I mean, yeah, but he's finding positivity in a pretty crappy situation."
Altair grunted annoyedly, "A perception of the world occupied by fools."
"Yeah, I'm just gonna…over there."
Quinn picked up his plate, wolfing down the pellet as he walked the distance from the dining hall to Conference Room B.
"Yo Quinn-y boy," shouted Daxter from atop Jak's shoulder, moving with the rest of the Playstation All-Stars crew, "You're gonna need it."
"Oh, um, thanks," Quinn stammered.
Now with nothing to eat or do, all that was left was standing around awkwardly as a line started to form.
"We're forming by match order right?" Luigi asked.
"How do you not know?" growled Ridley, who stood to the side of Dark Samus, "You're the boss' brother for fuck's sake."
"Hey, lay off him, you superglued schmuck," snapped Daisy, "Besides, I get to look at Luigi's buns for the next couple minutes. I'm a lucky gal."
As Luigi blushed, Ridley sneered, "Of all the people who are left. I look forward to Dark Samus destroying you the most so that we can prove how useless you are when some lackey isn't rushing poison around for you, Your Highness."
Deciding he'd rather be anywhere else, Quinn scuffled into line. This time, he found himself in line between Little Mac, being coached in a whisper by Doc Louis as they walked, and Robin.
"Don't bother trying to listen in," Robin advised Quinn, "This is merely a psyche-out technique that a lot of brawlers use. I've seen it more often than you would think."
"If it was just smoke," Doc wheeled around with a sassy smile on his face. Then Mac wouldn't be the three-time, three-time, I said the three-time World Video Boxing Association champion."
Mac nodded. The silence of the line contrasted the animated conversations of those already eliminated.
"I'm most looking forward to the three-way," Edelgard explained to Roy, "It reminds me of the traditional three-way battles the houses of Garreg Mach had."
"Traditional three-ways," balked Roy, "I can barely handle one platoon, let alone another1"
The two Fire Emblem warriors laughed. Quinn tried to focus himself forward.
As the line slowly crept forward, Quinn couldn't decide if not hearing his name among the predicted winners was a good or bad thing. Suddenly feeling inspired, Quinn quickly opened up the text app of his communicator.
Hey Futaba, what's the betting odds on Mac?
Immediately, Futaba's image appeared below his most recently sent text.
80-20 Mac
Just as he began to find himself smirking at the thought of ruining quite a few pocketbooks at the betting pay windows. Mac was next to enter the conference room.
"HE MAY BE AN ALRIGHT KID, BUT HE'S SCARED BY MY ESTIMATION! TRYIN''' TO GET SOME LAST-MINUTE TRAINING WITH A SUMO RASSLER! SHOOT SON, YOU MIGHT AS WELL WRITE YOUR WILL NOW!"
Unfortunately, the purposefully heavy conference room door did not conceal Doc Louis' animated diatribe. Quinn closed his eyes, breathing slowly, the focused effort towards an involuntary act immediately blocking out the noise.
"Don't worry about it kid," encouraged Ken from a couple of spots back, "Just do like we trained!"
Just as Quinn started to find his center, the door opened, "Quinn? You're up!" said Nikki cheerily.
He stepped into the conference room, glancing at all the video equipment as he shut the door behind him.
"If you want to do anything for your match graphic, now's the time. Lots of your peers are doing the old hands-up thing."
Quinn shook his head, "No. I just have to do it like I was trained to."
In return, Nikki raised an eyebrow, setting up the camera without a word. Quinn took a seat on the now-infamous chair in front of the camera, breathing in and out again as the light turned red…
Smash City
Smash Stadium Entrance G
Adeline closed her eyes as she stood in the queue to enter Smash Stadium. She was used to the hustle and bustle of cities, but at the worst of times, the noise was too much.
"Play yer 3DO!" a man shouted frustratedly at his son a few spots ahead, putting odd emphasis on the 'o'
"But Daaad," whined his son, "I wanted a Switch."
"I bought ye that with me own money," hollered the dad, "Them Switches are too expensive, and plus, that thing has a Star Wars game on it. Ye like Star Wars right?"
It was at this point that the two people in front of Adeline and Ribbon's conversation became more animated
"Man, I'd really like to get aboard one of those pleasure Smash crafts," yammered a skinny young blond man directly in front of them.
"I can get you one!" victoriously bragged his friend, an impossibly jacked man with jet black hair, "I was at this club, and this dude I was mackin'.up on said he worked as an attendant to some senator's son from Captain Falcon's world. I bet if I put the moves on him I can get you invited on before this thing ends."
"The last time we listened to your member we…"
Suddenly, Adeline felt a tap on her neck. Her eyes shot open, to see Ribbon happily fluttering around her.
Thank God, thought the magical artist, Anything to get me away from that.
"I want one of those!" declared Ribbon, pointing excitedly at something to her right.
Ribbon followed the gesture, only to see an odd octopus alien with what appeared to be tops in plastic-windowed packaging.
"Streetsmash Tops, get your Streetsmash Tops here!" blubbered the alien as a crowd formed around him.
The line moved towards its destination, but Adeline remained transfixed on the shady alien selling the tops. Two children, identical angel-winged siblings, immediately gave the man two credits, excitedly taking the packages from the seller and ripping them open.
"I got a Quinn one!" cheered one.
"Dude that's cool, the Ultimate set ones are really hard to find!" the other cheered back, "C'mon, let's play, it's not like this line is going anywhere."
Immediately, the two set the tops in the launchers, spitting them onto the ground. The sound of metal clashing could be heard as the tops clacked off of each other. Adeline's eyes widened. Were those sparks she saw?
"I…um…" Adeline stammered, "I don't think The Queen would approve of that. Those blades look really sharp…"
Luckily, they were at the front of the line. Adeline swiped their communicators, and a big souvenir stand was on the opposite side of the wall. Adeline's eyes snapped to a giant Kirby plushie.
"We'll buy you another Kirby doll!" Adeline finally declared.
"Yay!" Ribbon cheered as the duo moved for the orderly stampede, "I can add it to my collection!"
The artist gave the fairy an approving smile, a portal opening to filter their section of the stadium to their seats. As they took their seats, Ribbon began to yammer with the Waddle Dees in the row behind them, her hands and chin resting lazily on the headrest of the chair.
"I'm so excited for this," chirped the Waddle Dee behind Ribbon, "Joker vs. Banjo is gonna be the fight of the day. I've always seen them as the best fighters in DLC, so it'll be nice to see who's number 1."
Ribbon confusedly cocked her head, "What about Quinn?"
"Eh," the older Waddle Dee next to the first grumbled, "Boy got lucky. The skeleton froze up, or else we'd be singing a different tune."
"Yeah Dad," nodded the younger Waddle Dee, "Plus his opponent is Little Mac, a boxing champion. The kid is a rook."
Ribbon spun back around to glare at Adeline, hands on her hips, "What do you think Addy?"
A countdown clock appeared on every screen in Smash Stadium. The already dense wall of noise grew louder.
"What?" asked Adeline.
7
6
"I SAID WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT MY FRIEND SAID?" screamed back Ribbon.
3
2
"WHAT?"
"I SAID-"
The symbol tapping followed by the raucous guitar of "Run" by Day of Fire played as a highlight package of the last round played over it.
"THE TANTALIZING TWENTY-FIVE ARE HERE-" a heavily clipped call of 9-Volt cheered as the twenty-five remaining Smashers stood on stage.
Pyrotechnics erupted alongside both tunnels and on the dome of the massive stadium.
"Welcome everyone to Round 3 of The Ultimate Tournament! I'm 9-Volt along with my partner in crime Cranky Kong, and we've got some exciting matches."
"We sure do kid. Not only do we have Smash's first official three-way match, and a battle of Pokemon Trainers, but we've even got one with a side helping of political intrigue!"
A group of rowdy Sarasalandians began to hoot approvingly somewhere nearby, and Adeline could only smile in satisfaction.
"Yes, now the sole political figure in Sarasaland, Daisy goes up against the man who many believe will be king, Luigi!"
"We've got a card full of exciting Super Smash Brothers action that can only be found here at the Ultimate Tournament but we start at the top with your son Donkey Kong against a shark in the tournament, Dark Samus!"
"Oh," Cranky added, "Porky Minch died, but nobody cares."
On the screens of Smash Stadium, Donkey Kong flexed his biceps, which caused the stadium to erupt in cheers. Meanwhile, Dark Samus glared at the camera, causing a few snarky cheers, which were quickly drowned out by boos. Then, both screens were shown on the opposite side of a "VERSUS" graphic.
"Now," 9-Volt prodded, "Let's see what these Smashers had to say about each other,"
Donkey Kong was first, his stark usual stark serious expression replaced by a confident grin.
"Dark Samus thinks she can scare me? I've fought an infection when the Snowmads invaded, and I've fought monsters when the Tiki Tribe got re-awakened."
"The monkey may be cocky," snarled Ridley, Dark Samus pacing behind him, "But he's never fought anything like boiling, unfiltered, Phazon. He's never fought a beast incarnate like Dark Samus!"
"NO ONE SURVIVES ME!" Dark Samus shrieked as those that had cheered them on earlier chanted along.
"That monster keeps saying that, that no one will survive it," Donkey Kong pondered thoughtfully, "But what that ghoul Ridley fails to understand is that The Kong Tribe is built off the back of survival. My father, Cranky Kong, carried me on his back to ensure a better life. The Kong Tribe has been captured and displaced, and yet still, we survive."
"NO ONE SURVIVES ME," Dark Samus once again shrieked to end the promo.
The cheers of the rowdier fans erupted so loudly that Adeline couldn't hear Futaba's prediction. As if she could read her mind, Ribbon turned to her with a frown, "I don't like Dark Samus. It reminds me too much of Dark Matter."
A somber nod turned to the duo cheering together as the hip hop beat interlaced with monkey grunts played over the speakers, DK bobbing out, the boombox placed on his shoulder.
"I want a boombox like that!" Ribbon announced.
Adeline nodded approvingly, "The sound quality on it must be second to none if it can get picked up in such a big stadium. It'll be great for my art."
Whatever ribbon had to say died in her throat. Disjointed guitars followed by pounding drums blared over the speakers, Dark Samus lurching out, Rudley following close behind, a smile on his mostly metallic maw.
"Did Dark Samus get a new theme?" Ribbon asked.
"Yeah," the older Waddle Dee from earlier confirmed, "The guy next to us at the hotel is some kinda human, from Joker's world maybe? He says he's a musician. Word on the street, according to him anyway, is that this is the theme that plays when Dark Samus fights Samus in the third game?"
"The third game?" Ribbon cocked her head, "Cranky talks like that too, and it confuses me."
Once again, Adeline nodded, "Some things are just beyond our rational understanding."
"Ain't that the truth?" crowed the older Waddle Dee
An invasive chant of "NO ONE SURVIVES ME!" by a gang of Waddle Dee hooligans dressed in Dark Samus helmets drowned out the usual introductions. DK pointed a massive finger at Ridley, and the two went nose to nose, Mills separating them. Stages flashed by on the enormous jumbotron, landing on Mute City SNES. Now Ridley was nose to nose with Mills, much to the amusement of the hooligans.
"Ridley's calling foul! We're getting word that this is the stage DK trained on to prepare for this round."
"Don't know why he's got his knickers so deep in a wad. Dark Samus has the advantage here."
With that, the Smashers stated their readiness, disappearing. The rules and music appeared on the screen.
Stage: Mute City SNES
Rules: 3-Stock, Items Medium.
Music: F-ZERO Medley
Now, the 16-bit scenery had appeared on the screen.
3
Donkey Kong burst out of a DK-labeled barrel
2
Dark Samus appeared in a blast of Phazon
1
Dark Samus rocked back and forth, growling. In response, DK pounded his chest.
GO!
Dark Samus started the foray by blasting a missile…which DK caught in his hand. Grunting and disbelief, the Phazon creatures snapped to attention, shrieking as she charged. DK simply tossed the live ammunition at the charging beast, its explosion causing her to stagger onto the roof of the Blue Falcon, where DK waited. Pummeling his downed opponent with a series of Kong Slaps, the crowd cheered on Donkey Kong.
"Ha!" Cranky hooted, "Just as I'd expect from a sixth-generation nonce!"
"I wouldn't count your eggs just yet," 9-Volt warned.
"Is it…" Cranky wondered aloud.
Donkey Kong froze in shock as Dark Samus charged its Charge Shot despite the volley of attacks. Donkey Kong could've sworn he heard a laugh as Dark Samus launched the fully charged Charge Shot, DK collapsing as the energy weapon collided with his chest.
"And he kips up! That's my boy!" cheered Cranky.
Sure enough, the massive ape had made it to his feet, only for an axe kick to send him into the air, lining him up for a jab from Dark Samus' arm cannon. Despite all this, Donkey Kong once again exploded into a volley of Kong Slaps.
"Wow!" complimented 9-Volt, "Both Smashers seem more durable than before."
"That's how much the prizes mean to the competitors!" affirmed Cranky as Dark Samus pierced through the Kong Slap Barrage with a Screw Attack.
A spinning twisting kick in the air did not stop Donkey Kong from hammering down on Dark Samus, spiking it onto the Blue Falcon. Meanwhile, DK fell gently to the leftmost platform. Dark Samus jumped up, and DK charged forward, his Spinning Kong technique taking him through the air. Unfortunately, Dark Samus powered through the tornado of simian power, using its Grappling Hook to simply toss DK into the Blast Zone.
Donkey Kong: 2
Dark Samus: 3
Donkey Kong powered up his Giant Punch on the Revival Platform, jumping to an item that had just spawned, a Boomerang. First juggling the Phazon Monster as the Boomerang returned to its owner while the being of darkness flailed helplessly in the air, a clap of his mighty hands secured the stock for Donkey Kong.
Donkey Kong: 2
Dark Samus: 2
A Smash Ball appeared, Dark Samus yowling as it pummeled the all-powerful weapon. However, with one throw of the Boomerang, DK seized the power for himself. Donkey Kong jumped into the air to anticipate Dark Samus' desperate charge toward him. Before it could jump, The Wild Goose, which had been interlocked with The Blue Falcon for the entirety of the last lap, separated, causing Dark Samus to be launched into the air. DK jumped again, throwing the Boomerang just as Dark Samus was level. Now Ridley's lap dog was in punching range, and helpless.
"KONG RUSH!" cried DK.
A barrage of percussive punches followed the final uppercut launching Dark Samus into the top Blast Zone.
Donkey Kong: 2
Dark Samus: 1
"And just like that, Donkey Kong closes the gap!" Cranky cheered.
"Let's see if he can hang on to it," 9-Volt followed.
Dark Samus appeared on the Revival Platform, howling as it leaped off to meet Donkey Kong on the leftmost platform. Both Smashers tackled each other shoulder first, neither budging. The crowd cheered as the two bounced off each other again and again. Finally, a Spiny Shell fell to them. Much to a yowling Dark Samus' chagrin, DK caught it. The concluding whimper that escaped Dark Samus gave DK reason to break out into a wide smile.
"What a lucky catch by DK!" 9-Volt yelled.
DK cast the shell into the air, slapping Dark Samus into the air, and keeping it afloat with further slaps as the Spiny Shell ground its spike into its Phazon Flesh. The damage done, the Shell overturned, exploding into a blue fire, knocking Dark Samus into the Blast Zone.
GAME!
The camera drones found DK in the Smash Mansion Courtyard happily flexing his biceps
DONKEY KONG WINS!
As the splash screen declared the final result, Dark Samus stood unmoving, arms crossed. Ridley's teeth gnashed as Mister Zero shakily wandered up to interview.
"THAT WAS LUCK, YOU HAIRY MONGREL," shrieked Ridley, "Daisy, Luigi, you will not find relief for long, for I will be taking this up with…"
Dark Samus suddenly wheeled around, grabbing Ridley by the throat and pinning him against the wall.
"Silence," hissed Dark Samus, "You would not survive me,"
Dark Samus let go of a wheezing Ridley, skulking back up the tunnel. Ridley batted the mic of Mister Zero away, following after Dark Samus.
Now, Rita was standing beside a grinning Donkey Kong, "Some people think this is an upset win against one of the sharks of the tournament. What do you say to your critics? Also, how do you feel about your potential opponents."
Donkey Kong grunted dismissively, " Rita, a lot of people forget about me, even though I've been here since the beginning, a lot of people forget about my tribe. But I will make sure that we are never forgotten again. I've competed against Luigi and Daisy enough to know that they're two of the toughest people in this thing, but nothing will stop me."
With that ominous warning, DK stomped up the tunnel. Amidst the applause, Donkey Kong observed his surroundings. Samus stood in between a screaming Ridley and a stoic Dark Samus. As Diddy hopped jovially onto his shoulder, he saw that Luigi and Daisy were already up front, in a warm embrace.
"Are you ready?" Daisy asked.
"I could ask you the same question," Luigi whispered.
"More than anything. You're gonna give me the fight of my dreams. I know you are."
"Yeah…yeah," Luigi nodded.
Daisy and Luigi engaged in a long kiss.
"Alright guys," Mario said, "It's time."
They separated longing in their eyes.
"May the best Smasher win," Luigi nodded.
"Yeah, totally." Daisy blurted.
Luigi waved, heading down Tunnel A. Letting out a long sigh, Daisy bounced on her toes, charging down Tunnel B.\