Round 4: Day 4
Luigi
1030
Smash Mansion
Training Floor
Battlefield Stage
As the dramatic orchestral music swelled, Luigi ducked around yet another one of Ike's cleaving swings of Ragnell. He'd been dancing around him for 10 minutes, waiting for the silent giant to break his concentration for even a moment. Despite Ike's constant barrage, Luigi persevered. He let himself grin.
Is this the best shape I've ever been in? Luigi wondered to himself. It sure feels like it, but it's been such a natural process. Maybe there's something about Smash…
In the middle of his musings, he saw his opening. Ike had swung his sword over his head, leaving Ragnell on the ground for just a moment. Without hesitation, Luigi charged as fast he could, running up the massive broadsword.
"GREEN MISSILE!" Luigi shouted.
Leaping off the sword, he launched at Ike, connecting with his chest. The move pried Ragnell out of his hands. Luigi let the flailing punches fly. Ike blocked the first two, but the peppering eventually became too much. Ike was stunned by the many blows to the face.
"SUPER JUMP PUNCH!" Luigi called.
With a horrible screech, the glove connected with the jaw, sending Ike to the upper Blast Zone.
"GAME! LUIGI WINS!"
The Battlefield became the default room as Ike reappeared, fit as a fiddle.
"Wanna go again, big man?" Luigi asked.
Ike shook his head. To this, Luigi raised an eyebrow.
"Why not?" Luigi asked.
"Didn't have breakfast yet. Soren kept me on the phone last night with some theory."
Luigi nodded, a grin on his face.
"Yeah, I've had plenty of those days. Go carb up!"
Ike grinned back as Luigi shuffled out of the room. As soon as he did, a lo-fi hip-hop beat could be heard. The plumber in green looked in the direction of the sound. Sonic and Isabelle sat on the floor, a boombox between them.
"Ey yo Jim, let 'em in let 'em in," Isabelle rapped flawlessly to the lyrics, "Open up, my back tire's smokin' up the whole street,"
Luigi exchanged a smile with Sonic as the hedgehog and the Shih Tzu vibed along to the music. As he ascended the stairs, he heard a deluge of conversation.
"According to my calculations, you should be able to withstand about six Pikmin simultaneously attacking you," the nasal voice of Bently, Sly's companion, echoed along the metal corridor.
"Mathematics don't mean nothing to a wrestler brother! I can take so much more!" insisted Incineroar.
Sly laughed, "Yeah, your appearance on Off the Hook broke that poor robot."
"I can't blame the bucket of bolts," Murray whined, "That made my head hurt!"
Olimar only sighed as the bizarre crew and Luigi passed each other on the steps.
"Hey Luigi," Sly tipped his cap, "We're all about to train with Isabelle and Sonic. Wanna join us?"
Luigi shook his head, "Nah, I was just heading up to change into my swimwear and hit the pool."
"Where's Daisy?" Olimar asked, "Haven't seen her all day."
"Her and Candy Kong are on a media blitz to hype the match between me and DK. She probably won't get done until the evening."
"You guys going out after?" Sly asked, "Me and Carmelita wanted to try out some new places. We've stuck to my section of the city pretty much the whole time."
"Daisy said she wanted to try some heart attack grill in the King of Fighters section of town, I'll see if she wants to make it a double date and then text ya the coordinates."
Sly nodded, "Yer a doll kid,"
Luigi smiled back, heading up to the main level.
Donkey Kong
1230
Smash Mansion
Training Hall
Terry skimmed risque pictures Corrin had sent him, leaning against the wall, not even noticing Donkey Kong stride up to him, catching sight of the gorilla. The brief flash of panic on Terry's face caused the gorilla to chuckle.
"I've got a girl too, it's fine," Donkey Kong assured.
Terry tipped his baseball cap, "Thanks for being a brother,"
"No problem,"
Donkey Kong extended his hand. The two engaged in a handshake.
"So where are we headed?" asked the head of the DK Crew.
Terry grinned, "the KOF Stadium stage is great for fundamentals, and I want ya to work on that Giant Punch of yours."
DK nodded, leading the way. Just as the duo reached the door, stomping erupted so loudly it could be heard from the level above.
Bill Rizer, having been conversing quietly with the ninjas and Subject Zero, was the first to announce the noise.
"What the hell?" he asked.
Bowser's voice could be heard echoing down the training hall. "HEY! NOBODY REJECTS MY HELP!"
Bowser bounded up to them, dripping with black sweat, Bowser Junior following worriedly behind him.
"Papa, remember what Doctor Mario said about your anger."
"Taking it out on the fleabag and the trailer park trash will take it out of me." Bowser's tone immediately softened, wiping his brow.
"Sorry, I gotta back up my papa," Bowser Junior whispered.
"It's fine kiddo. Wouldn't feel right about beating on your old man two-on-one anyway," Terry nodded.
Donkey Kong looked warily at Bowser, nodding in agreement.
The two stepped inside. Bowser Junior happily flounced over to the room's console.
"You guys have anything against True Love We're Makin' for music?" he asked.
Terry laughed, "Hell of a pull kid,"
Bowser Junior laughed back. He selected the song, and the room immediately materialized into a packed football stadium.
"Snake's universe becoming accessible to us is what got Peach into gaming, and she's really good at Capcom vs SNK 2."
"Heh, didn't know the princess was a fan of mine," Terry mused in a faux suave voice.
"SHE MAINS TEAM JAPAN," Bowser roared, "And even if she did main you Fatal Fury losers, do you really think she'd fangirl like that Futaba gremlin?"
"Jesus Christ Bowser, calm down," begged Terry, "Let's start the fight,"
As if on cue, the canned announcer's voice gave the go-ahead. Terry briefly let his gaze wander to watch Bowser and Donkey Kong charge one another. The gorilla tucked and rolled into Bowser's Whirling Fortress with no hesitation, the two bouncing off each other with seemingly no pain felt between them.
A pincer claw grabbed Terry by the shirt, pulling him close. Bowser Junior was the culprit, smiling at him.
"Donkey Kong and Papa have been rivals since before I was born," Bowser Junior explained, "Honestly, I don't know why the ape thought this'd ever go well."
Terry grinned "Kid, anyone tells you that you remind 'em of Yamazaki?"
Bowser Junior gasped, "No way! That's my main! How so?"
Terry's smiling face suddenly turned serious. In turn, the smile left Bowser Junior's face.
"You talk too much!" declared the Hungry Wolf.
An uppercut followed by a Power Dunk disposed of the Koopa Prince for now. Terry glanced over to where the heavyweights stood, knuckles locked in a wrestling-style grapple.
Terry bounded over to where they stood, launching into the air.
"POWAH DUNK!"
Donkey Kong caught wind of what was going on right away, throwing Bowser by the wrist into the descending punch from Southtown's best.
"Damn dude," Terry nodded, "You've got that situational awareness down pat,"
Donkey Kong smirked confidently, "Like I've been telling you people, I'm one of The 12 for a reason."
The sound of Bowser Junior's motor pierced the air, the tiny prince charging into battle. Donkey Kong saw it coming, jumping into the air, and slapping Bowser Junior on the head. That, in combination with Terry's classic sweep sweep Power Dunk combo, knocked Bowser Junior down again.
"Forgetting someone?" snarled Bowser.
He gripped Donkey Kong from behind, flying into the air.
"FLYING SLAM!" Bowser roared.
Before Terry could even react, he was at the bottom of the dog pile. Worse yet, he was the victim of a Whirling Fortress, followed by the signature Bowser dropkick. The wall meant to seal them in the arena gave way like putty, and both he and Donkey Kong sent spiraling through.
"GAME! BOWSER AND BOWSER JUNIOR WIN!"
"YES! WE WON!" Bowser Junior cheered, leaping into the air to latch his father into a hug.
As Terry and Donkey Kong reappeared from healing, they saw that all of the anger melt off his face.
"WE DID IT, PAPA! WE DID IT! THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN'T DO TOGETHER1"
"Yeah kiddo, you're right," Bowser nodded sagely, "Now let's see if we can't round up some people to go for ice cream."
Resting Bowser Junior firmly on his shoulder, the family pair walked out of the training room, only to be tackled to the ground by Piranha Plant, bombarding the two reptiles in dog-like kisses.
"Where's that thing been?" asked Terry.
Donkey Kong shrugged, "The rumor mill is that all it needs now is sunshine and water to complete the transformation into Petey, but I don't know all the science behind it."
"Speaking of science," Terry advised as they walk, "Situational awareness is gonna make or break your fight with the green man."
Donkey Kong nodded, "Got it,"
As Bowser Junior lead the unlikely quintuplet of Yoshimitsu, Greninja, Hayabusa, Bill Rizer, and Subject Zero in a clamor for ice cream, Terry pointed a thumb back, looking up at the big ape, "You gonna join 'em?"
Donkey Kong shook his head, "Nah, ice cream is what started this whole thing,"
Terry blinked, nodding, "Not even gonna ask,"
Terry and Donkey Kong walked silently up the steps, parting ways in the foyer.
Zelda
830
Chef Kawasaki Tea House
Smash City
"Kirby" Section
The overwhelmingly colorful aura that was blanketed with bouncy, cartoonish customers that were a trademark of Chef Kawasaki's many styles of eatery around Smash City was overwhelming to many, especially people experiencing the city for the first time, but to Zelda it was nostalgic. She remembered when Kirby had eagerly invited a swathe of Smashers to the place for the first time, during the Melee Tournament. Unfortunately, more representatives from each universe meant that cliques had formed. Things had changed.
She wondered if she had changed most of all. Erdrick had been on her mind ever since their excursion in Smash Park, and judging by the way Zelda's across the table through sips of her raspberry tear, it was obvious.
"I know what this is about," Zelda finally verbalized her thought, "Erdrick,"
"You know," said Impa, "There's a reason why your ancestors have waited to marry and procreate until after a great evil was sealed away."
Zelda nodded, "I know because love in one's heart increases the power of the Triforce."
"And the evil in Ganondorf's heart," added Impa, " Rumor around the mansion and abroad is that he's more feral than he was even in the Melee days,"
Zelda nodded, "So be it. I have trained as diligently as I can against the Champions of Hyrule, the finest people I know. All that's left to do is have the battle."
Impa's breathing shook, as she clenched her fists, "I know you're a capable fighter, Hyrule would not have survived the conflict of time if that were not the case…"
"Out with it," Zelda demanded, "I'm not a member of the court. I don't need to be buttered up before you deliver the truth."
"I always feel shame when I cannot protect you on the battlefield. A shame I've been able to keep hidden, but a shame nonetheless."
"Until now," Zelda quipped.
Impa nodded meekly.
"This does not reflect poorly upon your service to House Hyrule," Zelda decreed firmly, her firmness suddenly giving way to a downcast expression, "If anything, it reflects poorly on my heart, but it is a consequence we must face."
Impa nodded, "If you're prepared, then…"
Again, Zelda nodded back, "I am. Now, let us enjoy our tea."
Sipping on their cooling beverages, both Hylians let out a sigh of relief.
Ganondorf
1200
"Yiga Town"
"Little Gerudo" neighborhood
Hyrule section
Smash City
Ganondorf sneered at the quivering, pot-bellied ninja before him.
No wonder why the Trophy Hotel kicked out the Yiga Clan, and the Gerudos after that.
"Let me just say sir," the white-clad Yiga began, "It is an honor to assist in your training against that rotten imperialist Zelda."
Ganondorf huffed.
"But I, Master Kohga, will prove myself as the rightful leader of the Yiga Clan, which will serve as the bastions of your army."
"Is that so?" Ganondorf spat, "Then spare me your monologue. En Garde!"
The ninja poofed away, reappearing again behind a Shiekah Slate-aided shield.
"Be warned!" hooted Kohga, "For you face the one, the only, the strong, Master Koh-"
A warlock punch penetrated the shield with ease,, As the oafish assassin flung himself through the air, Ganondorf followed, clubbing him until he lay on the ground. As he disappeared, reappearing on the opposite side of the arena, it was clear that Kohga was already out of breath.
"Zounds!" hissed Kohga, "Not even that accursed Hero of the Wilds could do that!"
With a flashy movement of his hands, two boulders appeared.
"This does not matter," hissed Kohga, "The Yiga Clan will not be made a fool of this d-"
Again he was cut off, this time by a War Lock kick carrying Ganondorf across the pit of the arena, the jostled rock clocking Kohga on the head.
"You!" hissed Ganondorf.
In a single motion, Ganondorf grabbed Kohga by the throat, pushing him into the opposite wall.
"You have the annoyingly theatrical tongue of Yoshimitsu and the never-ending blabber of Incineroar. It was you that awoke my other half Ganon."
"Y-yes!" gagged Kohka, "And what's more, Calamity Ganon rests alongside Conker and his ilk, and we were looking for a parlay into that beautiful world."
"Not anymore you aren't," Ganondorf growled, "From now on, I am master of the Yiga Clan. You will follow my order to the letter. My first order is that you will not associate with Conker. Anyone member of the Clan who does faces hanging as punishment. Is that understood?"
"Y-yes sir," coughed Kohka.
Ganondorf grinned, releasing Kohga, "Perhaps you are not as foolish as you appear to be. Help yourself to a Mighty Banana. You've more than earned it."
"Your grace knows no bounds, Master Ganondorf," cooed Kohga as he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
The adrenaline of the fight was gone, Ganondorf closed his eyes, breathing shakily. The triforce pulsed on the back of his hand, the burning that had been plaguing him since the end of the last round probing ever deeper.
Red
1000
Training Hall
Pokemon Stadium 1 Room
Smash Mansion
The triumphant orchestra of Pokemon Stadium's theme started as Red and Green were ushered to their background platform. The third combatant on their team, Lucas, now stood alongside Charizard and Rillaboom. On the opposite side, stood Fox, Falco, and Krystal.
"GO!" the canned voice of Mills Frames commanded.
"Rillaboom, Grassy Glide, now!" Green shouted.
"Keep pace with Rillaboom, then use Flamethrower!" ordered Red.
"PK Thunder!" Lucas cried.
Everything erupted in what seemed like a blink of an eye. Charizard and Rillaboom charged forward, Lucas eventually joining them, having connected his PK Thunder with his body. Krystal simply froze the rocketing Lucas with an ice blast. Charizard glanced back, allowing Falco to slice past Charizard with a Falco Illusion. Meanwhile, Rillaboom was swapped out with Cinderace, who kicked a ball of fire toward Fox. Fox simply activated his reflector. A shocked Cinderace was replaced by Intelleon, who sniped the ball out of the air with a gesture of its finger, reducing it to steam.
"Seismic Toss, now!" cried Red.
Charizard took Falco into the air, spiking him down on top of Fox and Intelleon. Charizard was replaced by Ivysaur.
"BULLET SEED!" demanded Red.
Ivysaur nodded, firing seeds up at the prone pilot. A reflector made sure the remainder of Ivysaur's barrage was directed back at him, A Falco Illusion made sure the barrage ended entirely.
"Okay," Red grunted.
Changing from Ivysaur to Squirtle, Squirtle immediately executed Surf, knocking the spacefaring duo into the air. Krystal's elimination of Lucas didn't deter the Pokemon Trainer's dominance.
"Hold 'em in place Ivysaur," Red commanded.
As Intelleon wriggled out of the chaos, Red grinned, Charizard taking Ivysaur's place.
"Alright Charizard, Flare Blitz!"
Charizard tackled the original Star Fox members, sending them to the upper blast zone.
"Alright Charizard, Flare Blitz again!"
Krystal attempted to counter the speeding missile of fire with an ice blast, but the flame immediately reduced the ice to steam, colliding with Krystal.
"One more time," said Red.
Charizard executed yet another Flare Blitz, knocking Krystal to the Blast Zone,
"RED, GREEN, AND LUCAS WIN!"
All six now stood in a white room.
"Good job Red," Green said approvingly, wrapping her childhood friend in a hug.
"Damn," Falco said, "Ain't never been whooped like that in my life."
Red grinned, "Thank Rare Candies for that,"
Krystal cocked her head, "So in addition to the training, you're feeding your Pokemon supplements?"
Red nodded, and Fox whistled in admiration.
"Wow," Fox balked, "I don't think any of the other Pokemon have done that,"
Red cooly jerked a thumb back to Green, "Thank her,"
"Yeah, I've learned that you can push Pokemon past Level 100 with some...creative training."
"How did you learn that?" Fox asked.
Green smirked, "I've known how to do it for a decade. Experimented with some reality-warping stuff on a vacation to Cinnabar Island right after I caught 'em all in Kanto."
"Reality warping…?" Krystal gasped, cut off by an ever-cockier Green.
"Besides that, have you ever heard of EV Training? I do that too."
"Nope," Falco shook his head, "But that sounds like a concept best explained over some Double Dash! You guys in?"
Red and Green shrugged, happily following the Star Fox team out of the room and down the hall.
"I'm still not past the reality-warping," Fox muttered to Falco as they ascended the stairs to the Game Room.
Wolf
2000
Little Spargus
Spargus City
"Jak and Daxter" section
Smash City
Wolf took a long breath in. The rumbling of the exhaust and the smell of G-Diffuser exhaust brought him to an odd peace.
"Ey mon, you're going down!"
Wolf's breath caught in his throat, coughing as Daxter giggled at the speaker, Funky Kong. The lupine thought about the track layout. His team made counted for three of the 8 racers, Jak, Daxter, Ratchet, and Clank, all of whom drove separate cars, counted for the majority of the field. However, the wild card, Funky Kong, no doubt could be swayed to the side of the good guys.
"Panther, Leon," Wolf ordered, "I can handle these jabronis if they get out in front of me. Just watch my back."
Quick affirmatives from his team were quickly drowned out by the countdown clock. When the timer hit zero, Jak and Wolf boosted ahead, and Wolf and Leon served as obstacles to Ratchet and Daxter, who aggressively needled for their position. The rest drifted behind, on the outside of the bevy of metal and oil.
Wolf laughed. This course was simple straight away. Beyond a jump, all Wolf needed to do was keep his eyes forward. A mine became available to him, using it to immediately deflect a missile.
Heh, this is too easy, Wolf thought.
As the first lap whizzed by, Leon deployed a mine, blowing up Daxter's vehicle. Jak's relentlessly paced ebbed for a second, allowing Wolf the opportunity to zoom ahead. Machine gun fire ripped into the lead Wolfen as Jak went on the offensive.
"Shit," Wolf cursed through gritted teeth.
"No problem boss," purred Panther, firing a missile.
Jak could only fly into a bevy of curses as his car flipped. As the third lap began, Ratchet and Clank zoomed to Wolf's side, boxing him in.
"A little help guys," Wolf snarled, his Wolfen being sandwiched between Ratchet and Clank's vehicles.
"Got it," Leon hissed.
A missile was launched from Leon's vehicle, but Ratchet simply dropped a mine.
"Not good enough bozo," Ratchet growled
As he said this, Wolf flew through a yellow powerup, activating a shield, which deflected the shield.
"Yes," Wolf howled
Wolf flew through a red powerup, letting Ratchet edge ahead, only to fire a missile and eliminate the problem. Leon fired another missile, eliminating Clank.
"Nah I ain't touchin' that," exclaimed Funky.
And then, Star Wolf crossed the finish line, flipping off the Playstation Allstars crew, who stayed on the sidelines in their wrecked vehicle.
"Alright, let's blow this joint," Wolf ordered
With that, the wheels on the three Wolfens retracted, flying away.
"Where do you think they're headed?" Ratchet asked from the sidelines.
"Booze, drugs, or chicks," Daxter listed, "It's all those three idiots ever think about."
"Yeah, at least that'll make him easy picking for Red," Jak nodded.
"After his battle with Green, his betting odds have increased considerably," Clank droned beside the wreckage of his tiny vehicle.
"That's how we're all betting?" Ratchet asked.
As the four nodded to each other, Funky pulled over beside them.
"Y'all can do whatever you want, I'm going back to F-Zero," he groaned, the wheels of his ship retracting as he flew away.
Cloud
645
Trophy Hotel
Trophy Museum
Smash City
Swing music played around the near-empty museum as Cloud Strife skulked the rows upon rows of displays. Tifa would only be asleep for about 20 minutes more, and then he'd have to help her get the kids ready for the much-anticipated trip to Nintendoland. He had to get his work done quickly, lest he incur the wrath of his troupe of friends. Finally, scuffling past the King Slime trophy, Banjo-Kazooie's section began. Kazooie stood on her talons as if she was poised to start nesting, glaring at Banjo, who had a massive arm around her.
Looks like every picture of Yuffie and Vincent if the genders were reversed Cloud thought with a grin.
With that musing out of the way, Cloud quickly skimmed the text underneath.
Banjo is a laid-back and polite bear while Kazooie is a wisecracking and sassy bird. The two first teamed up to rescue Banjo's sister Tooty from the evil witch Gruntilda; an adventure in which they learned a wide variety of moves like the Talon Trot and Breegull Blaster. Their massive move pool makes them unpredictable foes. The two would return to fight Grunty once more two years later after their home was destroyed, and once more in thrilling vehicular combat! the description reads.
As soon as Cloud's face began to morph into a dissatisfied frown, a voice whose accent was deeply routed in the American South piped up.
"Yeah, I don't think this trophy description is the best either. It gives lil ole me some credit, but not nearly enough!"
Cloud's head snapped to the source of the voice. A mole, standing at about three feet tall with a vest so dirty it would give Resetti's a run for its money and the thickest glasses Cloud had ever seen peered back at him.
"You trained the bear and bird?"
The mole put his hands on his hips, standing with a comedic heroic pride, "That's right! My name's Bottles the Mole, move tutor extraordinaire!"
He reached a stubby paw out, Cloud took it.
"So, can you give me any insight into them?" he asked, gesturing at the trophy.
Bottles shook his head, "Look kid if Banjo and the squawking peacock's repertoire isn't obvious to you, it ain't never gonna be. Wonder Wing this, Jump Pad that, right into the old Beak Buster. It was a real\ odyssey to teach 'em that combo, tell you what!"
"So, if you're not gonna give me any insight, why are you bothering me?"
"Because," Bottles explained, adjusting his glasses, "My interest isn't in training them, it's in training you."
Cloud raised an eyebrow, "Why me?"
"Because, when they were out of their prime, I'd already moved away from being a move tutor, and it was one of the biggest disappointments of my life."
"Who said I needed training?" Cloud snapped.
Bottles smirked, completely unintimidated.
"I watched your Duel run. Your Limit Break charges slower here than it did then. You're getting older. It takes more to rev up the ole engine doesn't it, especially when you're dealing with that kind of power…"
"Okay, what's your point?" Cloud interrupted.
"I can help ya overcome that hurdle, when you beat Banjo."
"Aren't those two supposed to be a friend of yours? Why would you hitch your wagon to me?"
"Simple statistics my friend!" Bottles explained, "Those of us who follow the math know the real money match is gonna be you an' Sephiroth, so I'm here to motivate and then educate when the time is right?"
"Where are we gonna train?" Cloud asked, "I don't think Mario will let you use the Smash equipment."
"I've got a one-to-one replica of Spiral Mountain built in the Showdown Town information center here. You beat the obstacle course, and I'll bestow a faster Limit Break upon you."
Cloud extended his hand, "You've got a deal!"
Bottles nodded happily, shaking his gloved hand. As they cemented their packed, Cloud's Smash Communicator buzzed.
"Come settle these crazy ass kids down," the text from Tifa read, "Not even Aerith can get them to stop bouncing off the walls."
Cloud shot a quick 'omw' response back, turning to Bottles, "Gotta help my girl with the kids,"
Bottles nodded, "I know that feeling buddy! Separated!"
Cloud's eyes widened, "For a bit, yeah. How could you tell?"
"You're a lot like me kid, can't settle down, but you've still got a family."
Cloud nodded, turning on his heel. As he walked, he punched a few buttons, jumping through a portal to enter Tifa and friends' hotel suites.
Banjo-Kazooie
2245
Final Fantasy Section
Gold Saucer, Smash City location
Smash City
While the majority of the guests of the Gold Saucer's guests sat in awe of the venue's late-night light show. The Phantom Thieves had spent the past 45 minutes in Arena Square, the only people sitting in the bleachers of the arena watching Banjo and Kazooie dodge the barrage of Three Proud Clods.
"Huh," Futaba grunted, not looking up from her laptop, "I figured they woulda bit the dust by now, considering they ran out of Wonder Wings five rounds ago."
Yusuke placed a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder, intently watching the action.
"Yes," he said, "And what did that Dio character say, that Yuffie could get the beneficial rewards each round without effort?"
"A carny parlor trick if ever I saw one," Akechi growled, "Reminds me of Sae's Palace."
Makoto, who had snuggled up to the disgraced Detective Prince, sighed.
"Yes," she lamented, "But at least that used logical math."
"Once we flipped the switch it did!" Ann announced.
Meanwhile, on the battlefield. Banjo and Kazooie summoned a Bounce Pad in mid-air.
"WEEEEE!" they shouted, jumping off of it, clear over the Proud Clod.
"BASH ME, BRO!" Kazooie demanded.
Banjo grabbed Kazooie by the talons, slamming her hard into the Clod's back, popping open the control panel. Banjo inserting Kazooie back into his backpack and Kazooie firing eggs at the exposed control was one fluid motion, the Clod freezing and collapsing.
"Well goddamn," Ryuji gasped as Kazooie and Banjo began to pry off the downed Clod's arm, "They're certainly beating the odds regardless."
"Yes but…" Morgana paused to watch Banjo hurl the severed robotic arm into one of the other Clods, disabling it, "Something's been bothering me."
"I know," Haru said sympathetically, "You were suspiciously quiet when we met Cloud and his friends."
"Because…" Morgana sighed, "I don't know if Banjo and Kazooie have this. Cloud's lost fewer stocks this tournament than some people have lost in individual matches, Banjo and Kazooie included.
"Right," Futaba mumbled, typing something into her computer, "And the math doesn't look good either."
"Is this that information you said you got from their mole friend Bottles and the other nerds this morning?" snapped Akechi.
"Yeah," Futaba nodded sympathetically.
Despite the negativity around them, Banjo and Kazooie were undeterred, throwing a Grenade Egg at the last Clod, exposing its control panel, from the front, but not disabling it, the massive robot continuing to fire a bevy of machine gun bullets and missiles.
"You think we should risk Rat-a-Tat Rapping this thing?" Kazooie asked Banjo.
"I can't think of another way babe. That was a lucky throw, and my arm feels like something out of Bubblegloop Swamp. I ain't got another one of those in me."
"Look at 'em go though," Ryuji gestured to the ongoing battle, "I'd be willing to put a cool grand down on 'em."
"A fool and his money are soon parted," grumbled Akechi.
"Ryuji's right Akechi," snapped Ren, "Cloud is a damn tank, but Banjo and Kazooie have grit. I felt it myself."
"Hmph, if you believe, then that's how we'll operate," Akechi pouted indignantly.
The duo's plan was successful, with the control panel exploding, and the robot falling backward.
"I believe," Ren stated as Banjo and Kazooie took a theatrical bow.
"I don't know about you honey bear, but I've had enough," Kazooie pouted as the robotic wreckage melted away.
"Yeah, me too," Banjo huffed, "I'm about as ready as I'm ever gonna be."
The remaining Phantom Thieves began to applaud, Banjo and Kazooie taking another theatrical bow. But, as the Phantom Thieves began to depart the bleachers, someone else began to clap.
"Bravo, I must say," said the voice, "Cloud's battles have become the stuff of legend. You've more than exceeded those expectations."
It was then that the Phantom Thieves saw the owner of the voice. A handsome ginger in an all-white suit, flanked by four people in identical blue three-piece suits.
"Who the hell are you people?" asked Ryuji.
"We are the Turks," said one of the men in the suits, a weathered-looking Asian man, "And we serve Rufus Shinra, former president of the Shinra corporation.'
"Look," Futaba snapped, "We've played the games, we know you're evil, so just buzz off."
"Hey," said the sole woman of the suit-clad guards, "We helped during the Geo-Stigma conflict."
"Begrudgingly, but yes," said the redheaded man in the suit, his significantly baggier than the others.
"Plus, that movie was bootycheeks, yaoi boy over here telling on you aside," laughed Futaba
The man in the sunglasses, the only one of the Turks not to speak yet, simply scowled.
"We come with both our support and a warning," Rufus explained, "We, the former Shinra corporation, offer our support in this endeavor."
"Let me guess," spat Akechi, "The warning is that we'd better win, or else."
Rufus shook his head, "No, I know better than to cross the Smash Brothers. That said, Reno can tell you."
The man in the baggy suit nodded, "Yeah, my friend from across town is doing some embroidery, said that one of Ganondorf's henchmen, some ninja in a white mask, came and brought a throne.
"Ganondorf's running the Yiga Clan now?" Ann asked.
Reno shrugged, "Seems so. Look, all I'm saying is that I hope you have your entrance situated, because some people are going all out."
"Thank you, Boy, of Yaoi," Yusuke nodded triumphantly.
Futaba's giggles were the only sound as the Phantom Thieves edged past Rufus and The Turks.
"Do I even wanna know what yaoi is?" asked Reno.
"I know what it is!" chirped the girl.
"Elena no," barked the silent man.
"If Rude and Elena know what it is, that tells you all you need to know," sagely advised the old man.
"Right, Director Tseng," agreed Reno.
"Do not seek it out," sternly demanded Tseng.
"Yes, Director Tseng."
The Phantom Thieves all burst into laughter as they exited through the main doors of the Gold Saucer. When the laughter died down, Kazooie suddenly put her talons to her hands.
"Oh shit, the Dystopian Walmart execs were right, we do need something dope for our entrance."
Banjo smiled up at his partner, "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"
Kazooie's eyes went wide, "Mumbo's garage?"
"Gyuh-huh!" Banjo responded.
"Hey guys, do you think all the guys that were in your last entrants would be down for being on a parade float?"
Ren nodded, "We cobbled together our last entrance on literally a moment's notice last round, so I'd say so."
"Great," Kazooie cheered, pressing a few buttons.
One ring was all it took for a familiar shaman to answer.
"Mumbo ya sleepless bastard, we've got a job for ya," Kazooie excitedly announced.
Dante
630
Smash Mansion
Training Hall
As Dante descended the stairs, he looked a floor up. Sure enough, the clanking armor he thought had been tailing him belonged to Roy.
"Yo Roy," Dante called, "You stalkin' me?"
"I don't mean to Sir Dante," Roy lamented, "But Madame Shiranui snuck in this morning, meaning her and Sir Travis…"
"Ain't gotta tell me twice," Dante nodded.
Wordlessly, the two headed down the training hall, Dante stopping at the Northern Crater room. When he opened the door, Sephiroth's cold eyes were already staring into his soul.
"Ah," said the man in the black cloak, "You've come to watch the slaughter, and you've bought friends."
Dante said nothing, he and Roy took the elevator up to the empty auditorium. From above, they watched Vergil navigate the controls in an eerie quiet, the room morphing into a retelling of the finale of Cloud's greatest adventure with no fanfare. The two assumed combat stances as they were counted down. From the word go, Vergil zipped around the battlefield, activating Judgment Cuts everywhere he could in Sephiroth's perimeter. Despite Vergil's blazing speed, Sephiroth stood still, parrying them all.
"By the Goddess," gasped Roy.\
Sephiroth began to conjure Firaga, but Vergil closed the distance in seconds. Masamune and Yamato clashed, sparks flying as each swordsman jockeyed for position. A shield made of hexagons appeared between them. A snap of Sephiroth's fingers was all it took to break it into shards, its jagged shards flying into Vergil.
"There's no…" Roy began to bemoan.
Dante shushed him.
Despite Vergil's attempt to create distance, a wide swing of Masamune bridged it. The slice knocked Vergil to the floor. Without a word, Sephiroth summoned Firaga, the explosion sending Vergil's damage, resting at 30 percent from one sword strike, into the upper hundreds, the silver-haired wanderer knocked to the Blast Zone easily.
As Vergil reappeared from being healed, Sephiroth turned, silently striding out of the room. Dante and Roy descended from the elevator just as quietly.
"You're going to lose brother," hissed Vergil.
Dante flipped him off without turning around, "Says you,"
As they closed the door Dante said, "Let's get breakfast Young Lion,"
Roy sputtered, his face pale from shock.
Dante cocked his head as they walked, "What?"
"He just eliminated your brother in less than a minute, and you don't seem the least bit worried. "
Dante shrugged, "Not the first time I've beat a silver-haired idiot with an ego, ya know? So, what're you thinking for breakfast?"
"I… must say I've always wanted to try a Grillby's breakfast burrito," Roy sputtered
"At your own risk my friend. Those things will have ya honkin'"
"If I've learned one thing from this place is that the greasier the food, the better it is. The risk is therefore accepted."
"My man," Dante nodded.
Ken
1230
Soups n Sticks
Smash City
Kunio-Kun Section
Ken rested his hands behind his head in the booth on which he sat. Next to him, Mel hurriedly ate a plate of noodles, a shopping bag filled with a game system, and multiple cartridges placed in between them. Opposite him sat Ryu, scarfing down a similarly packed bowl of noodles. Next to Ryu sat Eliza, daintily picking at her vegetable-filled noodle plater.
"Dad, this place is the coolest," Mel said, swallowing his most recent mouthful. "This place is like Electric Town in Tokyo but better!"
"I'm afraid that we're getting him obsessed with all this pop culture that we're all just going to have to abandon soon," Eliza fretted, "Did you not get my text from last night? I caught him watching Family Guy all night last night."
Ken shrugged, "I think the show's funny. Besides, it's best to microdose content like that when he'll still listen to us explain the adult themes."
Ken choked back a laugh as his son dutifully nodded. Whether it was out of a genuine agreement or some attempt to save his own skin, Ken never knew. That kid had a penchant for playing dumb at the best times, and that's where the humor lay.
"I just don't think the show is appropriate for a boy his age," Eliza said sternly.
Ryu smiled, "Fear not! I fought Peter Griffin twice! He is a great warrior!"
Ken's expression glazed over, "You what?"
Ryu nodded, completely unaware of the implications for Ken's liver, "Yes. On the island, and in our universe."
"Oh God," Ken sighed, while Eliza giggled.
The two continued to eat their food until a thought occurred to Ken, "Settle a debate for Chun and me Ryu. Other than the super people, who do you think you've met on this interdimensional plane the most?"
"I've pondered this myself," Ryu said, rubbing his chin, "But I do believe his name is John Cena!"
"Oh Christ," Ken and Eliza said together as Mel and Ryu high-fived.
Ken's face twisted into a stern frown as Mel began to giggle.
"We've gotta get changed for the big meeting aboard Smashcraft R in a few hours, so let's wrap this up."
"Ugh," Mel rolled his eyes, "You've gotta do work again?"
"Yeah kiddo I do," Ken said, "But after dad wraps up his fight we'll go to Nintendoland!"
Mel wolfed down the rest of his food, his eyes as wide as saucers.
"YEAHHHHHHHH!" cheered Mel, "NINTENDOLAND!"
Ken laughed, "Gotta save that energy. You're gonna play Mario Kart with Amy and Datta."
"Yeah," Mel nodded, "We can't keep them waiting.
Ken strolled up to the counter to pay the bill to the man in the kabuki mask, who grinned approvingly at the 50 percent tip. As Mel walked hand in hand with Eliza, Ken began walking in stride with Ryu, who bore an unusual mischievous grin.
"What?" Ken asked.
"It's amazing how much a smart-ass Mel has become. Gets it from his father I believe,"
Ken laughed, "Nah Ryu, he gets it from Eliza!"
Eliza craned her neck to sneer at the pair, "He does not!"
Mel looked up, an annoyed frown on his face, ". I get it from both of you, duh!"
The adults shared a chuckle as they stepped through the portal to Eliza's Trophy Hotel room.
Quinn
1700
Smash City outskirts
Humming a nursery rhyme, Rosalina held the sheathed Launch Star up to her eye, trying to line it up with Smashcraft R.
In contrast, Quinn shook like a leaf. Knowing what he was about to do, he glanced at the text he'd received from Zangief earlier this morning.
Just do Hindu squats on your own time my pupil. Big meeting tonight, Mika and I will touch base tomorrow.
"And there!" Rosalina said, throwing the Launch Star into the air, which expanded, hanging in the air.
"So I just dive through and…"
"According to my layman's measurement, it should send you right to a side door."
"You do realize if you've fucked this up I'm basically pudding right?" Quinn's voice shook.
"Some of the greatest discoveries in the multiverse were made by people with primitive tools and measurements."
"And just as many people died that the history books omitted," Quinn argued.
Rosalina put her hands on her hips, pouting at him. A goofy grin reflexively formed on Quinn's face. He loved it when she did that.
"Enough sass," Rosalina demanded, "Do you want to get the drop on the rich boy or not?"
Quinn let his grin develop into a full smile, "Wow! Somebody's feeling saucy."
"That man does not need another stack of millions. You'll put that money to better use than he will."
"I mean, that remains to see. I haven't touched a cent yet," Quinn jokingly shrugged.
"You're dawdling. Besides, these Launch Stars don't hold up forever."
Quinn nodded, adjusting his sunglasses one last time, charging through them. After a beat of silence, he was launched into the horizon. Somehow, he zipped past the luxury liners in his way, briefly hearing techno music pounding in one, and briefing locking eyes with a large woman in a bathing suit being fanned by two equally scantily clad women as she sunbathed.
The Launch Star somehow took him through the dismount, forcing a flip onto the platform. After collecting his wits, he took in the scene. On the other side of the long, wrap-around balcony, a sea shanty was being sung by a large group of people, the setting sun gleaming off of the larger buildings.
Quinn sniffed the air. Was that cigarette smoke he smelled?
"Hey bub," a gruff voice snarled, "What're you doin' here?"
Quinn turned in the direction of the voice, a man stood in yellow spandex and a matching cowl.
"I'm…uh…here on assignment from Mario too,"
"No you're not," said the side deck's other occupant, a samurai with wild pink hair and an eyepatch, "We've been watching the tournament to idiot. We know your face, and we would've seen you around if you belonged."
"I just wanted to get the drop on Ken, I don't mean anything by it," begged Quinn.
The girl and the man in the cowl glanced at each other, nodding.
"I admire that spirit kid," said the woman, "Name's Baiken,"
"People call me Wolverine, and what I do isn't very nice," growled the man.
"Well, if you admire my spirit so much, can you get me inside in some kinda way?"
"Yeah," Baiken nodded, "We can say we met ya on a bar crawl and you're waiting to take us to another bar."
Wolverine nodded in agreement, "Not any more degenerate than what B. Jenet and Ruby Heart's pirates have been doing this ever since we got here."
Quinn nodded, "Sounds like a plan to"
With that, the door which they all stood in front of the opening.
"The hell do you want Mishima?"
Kazuya Mishima stepped through, "Mario sent me to let you all know the meeting is in 5 minutes,"
It was then that Kazuya eyed Quinn up and down, raising an eyebrow.
"You! You're Quinn Marmaduke, that foolish Mii with the overly acrobatic style."
Quinn took up a fighting stance, "If you wanna test that theory, we can duke it out in one of those training rooms I've heard so much about."
Kazuya laughed, "I would accept but I believe you have bigger issues than me."
Quinn felt a hot light aimed at his back. He spun around, making eye contact with three tiny versions of ROB, shining a light on him.
"Quinn Marmaduke, you have entered a restricted area," droned the voice of ROB through a crackling speakerphone. You are due in Mario's office with your accomplice, Rosalina."
With that, tendrils latched onto Quinn protruding from the mini-ROBs, dragging him off the ship.
"Tough luck kid," Baiken waved, extinguishing her cigarette and heading inside with Wolverine, the pirate shanty having died down.
Whereas time flew on his entrance, time crawled on his exit. The woman's servants were not flirtatiously feeding her graham crackers, her eyes closed in bliss.
At least she didn't notice, Quinn thought to himself as he was dragged past the Smashcraft blasting techno music.
Eventually, the ROBs dragged him back to the top tower of the Mansion, Mario's office. Rosalina stood at Mario's desk, looking sheepish, Mario's eyes blazed with an unusual sternness as he sat behind the oaken desk.
"The other Smashers," began Mario, "Seem to understand that I'm fighting a two-pronged war here. There's us, and the people Ryu insisted on recruiting as reinforcement. My predecessor gave me that mission, and out of a debt to The Hands, I will not-a deviate from it. But you, you had to stick your nose where it didn't belong…"
"Mario, stop it," demanded Rosalina, "I pressured him into it, and what's more, I demand that favor, that you spare Quinn in this."
Mario's face softened for an instant, but went right back to the stern face, "You understand that you've-a seen too much. By even meeting those two, you now understand the scope of this war, a scope that no one was meant to know, and that you must keep that secret."
"I do," Quinn nodded.
"So, instead of forfeiting your place in the tournament, you will be subject to-a the same punishment as Rosalina, one day grounded to your room, starting now."
"Yes sir," Quinn said, a waft of shame hitting him like a train as the words tumbled out.
"You will be grounded to your room tonight, attend the tournament, and then spend the next 24 hours in your rooms. Understood?"
Quinn shot a glance at Rosalina. The shame of it all had just hit her too.
"Yes sir," they said simultaneously.
Mario's cold expression broke, "Good, now go."
Just as Quinn turned to leave, Rosalina pecked him on the cheek.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"All's forgiven," Quinn whispered back.
Casting one final glance at each other, the two stepped into their respective portals.
In the silence of the room, Mario sighed, retrieving a bottle of scotch and drinking right out of the bottle.