Stanley asked for help: the town
Kcab srettel eeht
Monday
"Come one sheriff, it's not trespassing when you're searching a house of someone suspected of missing. And I'm permitting you to enter!"
"Sorry, but unless you invoke the Twin Property Law, it's not your house."
Stan was about to argue before he realized what was just said.
"What's the Twin Property Law?"
"The 'Twin Property Law' states that anyone can claim the property of their twin if the twin isn't around to dispute it. If and when the twin wants to reclaim it, they must have a Trial by Cake."
Stan rolled his eyes at that. "I'll ask what that is later. For now, I invoke the twin property law. Now get in there!"
With a quick nod, the sheriff rushed into the house with Stan at his heels. The two searched the building again, from the top to the ground floor. Stan made sure the door to the basement was closed and hidden.
I'll search that area on my own. I Can't risk the cops or feds finding a possible doomsday device and shutting it down permanently.
After an hour of searching, they met up again out front.
"Find anything that could help us Sheriff?"
Sherif Bright shook his head.
"Just a lot of science stuff I don't understand, moldy food, a picture of a random tree in the woods, and several glass pyramids."
Stan sighed. "Well, thanks for helping me search this house again. You said we search the yard next?"
Bright looked at the dwindling light before nodding.
"Yes, but then we'd best head to the town hall. It's getting too dark to do more than that."
With a nod of understanding, the two men searched the yard around the old shack. After not finding anything and the sun continuing to go down, the two men called it and returned to town towards the town hall.
At the town hall
Stan looked nervous at the full building. It looked like everyone in town had shown up to take advantage of the free cake.
There were beefy lumberjacks, quirky farmers, hip-hopping teenagers, and more.
Stan took a few deep breaths as Sherif Bright stepped to the microphone.
"Thank you everyone for coming here today. I know the snow makes it hard but we have a missing person—a pillar of our community.
"Stanford Pines is missing!"
…
"Who?"
"Never heard of him."
"How long has he lived here?
Stan grew disheartened at seeing that after spending years in the town, no one knew his brother's name.
I was homeless and traveling the whole time, and I think more people know my name than Ford right now.
Stan decided to step up to the microphone himself and gestured for the Sherif to let him speak.
"Hello everyone. I am Stanley Pines, Stanford's twin brother. The only difference between us is that he wears glasses and has six fingers on his hands. Does any of that raise a bell for you?"
There was some murmuring before a young woman with cat earrings stood up.
"Oh yeah, the mysterious science guy who lives in the woods."
A young man in a flannel shirt and sporting a red bear stood next.
"He hired me to build his house when he first got here, but he is a creep I've seen wandering the woods in the middle of the night."
A young man in a form-fitting suit with a private booth bearing a stylized NW made of gold on its front stood next.
"He is late with his mortgage payments. If you're his twin brother, you must pay it until he shows up again!"
One after another spoke up. Half were listing complaints about him being creepy around town. The other half were talking about how mysterious the lab is.
Did you make any friends Ford?
Stan eventually got tired of the overlapping complaining and released an ear-splitting whistle to get everyone's attention.
"Hay everyone! Do any of you know where he might be? Or where we could find things that could tell us where he might be? Or even if he had anyone in town that would know where he is?"
At that, the townsfolk murmured amongst themselves one more. Eventually, an elderly couple stood up.
"I think a man with a funny accent came into our store with him occasionally. Fiddleford I think he was called."
Stan smiled at that—his first real lead since he got here.
"Great, where is he?"
At that, the town developed into murmuring once more. No one seemed to remember where he was, or even if he was ever in the town in the first place. Stan's heart began to drop once more. Sherif Bright went back to the podium and called for order again.
"All right everyone. Let's call down and set up the search party. Flannel Fred, as the best lumberjack around, you are in charge of leading the search party. How comfortable do you feel doing it tonight?"
The massive lumberjack looked out the window before turning back to the Sheriff.
"I'll go out and search the woods closest to town, but searching too deep into the forest this late in this weather will lose us more people. It would be best to leave most of the search for daybreak."
The Sherif nodded in understanding.
"Understood, we'll all gather here for a waffle breakfast before searching with the morning light. Deputy Sharp and I will search the house, yard, and 37 rabbit-hops around it again while you are doing that, then set up some potluck lunch and dinners for you brave volunteers." He then slapped Stan on the back, luckily missing the burn.
"Stanly here will be available to drop off any leads or complaints about Ford. Sounds good?"
Stan was too busy trying not to cry out in pain to respond, but everyone else agreed quickly and easily.
"All right, let's find Stanford!"
With that, Stan walked down to a small table with a notepad and looked at the line that was already in front of him.
"All right, can I have your name and what you want to tell me about Ford?"
The man in flannel from earlier was at the head of the line. HE looked a lot like Flannel Fred, but was smaller and had a smaller beard.
"I'm Manley Dan. As I said, he hired me to build his house and I've seen him wandering the woods multiple times. I can have a map of where I've seen him wander ready by tomorrow morning if I start right now. I already told Dad, but I thought you should be in the loop."
Stan sighed in relief at hearing that. There was a good chance he had seen Ford going to or from where he hid one of the journals.
"Thanks, can I get a copy of the map?"
Manley Dan nodded and then let the next person in line move forward, only for the man from the private booth to come in and cut in front of the trainee kid from earlier.
"I am Auldman Northwest, of the Northwest family that founded the town and are the richest people in the country. Your brother hasn't paid his mortgage or any of his bills in months. If his balance isn't paid off by the end of the month, I will foreclose on that shack and have it converted into a hunting lodge."
Stan froze in terror at the idea of losing his access to the portal.
"Ok, one second."
Stan then waved over the Sheriff.
"Hay sheriff, remember how the chief said he would use his money to pay Ford's bills and mortgage? How soon can that be done?"
The Sheriff snapped his fingers at the reminder.
"Thanks, I forgot about that until just now. I'll talk to the bank and start the transfer before the day ends. Who does he owe money to?"
Auldman stood forward. "As the owner of the power plant, water plant, gas company, real estate company, and the bank, just give it to me."
Stan frowned at him. "I'll need official bills from all the individual sources he owes money to. And you will ONLY get what you are owed, not one cent more. Got it?"
The rich jerk Northwest standing in front of him frowned back. "You do know that I can end you if I wanted?"
"You'd not be the first to try, but then you wouldn't get the money. Send me the bills as soon as possible, and I'll pay them. Do you have anything else to add about Ford?"
After a few more seconds of staring, Auldman blinked first.
"You aren't worth it yet. Watch yourself Stanley, or I will decide you are."
As he walked away, Staley moved on to the trainee from earlier.
"Hi Darryl, did you have news about when Ford or Fiddleford come to the Duck 2 Dawn?"
Darryl Blubs backed up in surprise.
"How did you know my name and where I work?"
Stan rolled his eyes. "You're wearing your uniform with a name tag? Anyway, the info?"
"Oh yeah, yesterday I tried one of those smiley dip candies to see why they were being recalled. I thought my bike was an iguana and decided to walk home instead. After I passed the third lollypop lamp post, I saw a group of people in red robes led by Fiddleford walk into the history museum. They were carrying a large wiggling sack with the head of the Deputy sticking out between them. The building then came to life and ate them before barfing up a three-eyed squirrel who came over and told me that I would become sheriff and marry my deputy.
"Does that sound like it could be helpful?"
Stan stared at Blubs unblinking for a bit before writing down some notes
"I hate to say it, but that is my best lead so far."
One hour later
After the last person in the line had gone home, Stan looked at the list of notes he had accrued over the night.
Unfontutly, the only useful bits were the promise of a map, finding out how much money Ford owed, and that his assistance was seen around the history museum.
"Excuse me, Stanley, I have someone you should meet."
Stan looked up at the man standing next to the sheriff that just walked up to him. He wore a well-pressed suit and had a monocle over one of his eyes.
"Hello, can I have your name and what you want to tell me about Ford?"
The man shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't know anything about your brother. I am Mr. Motney Bagins, head of the Gravity Falls Bank. I am here to provide you access to the funds the chief of police said to give you?"
Stan blinked before he grinned wider than the Chesser Cat.
"Yes, please. Show me the money."
He then thought of something which made his smile turn upside down.
"Just to make sure, the chief was paid in money and not something like carrots, oats, or mayo, right?"
Sheriff Bright scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous, those forms of payment were revoked in 1883 after the great train crash destroyed the town's stockpile of vegetables and mayo. We also lost our previous chief in the same trash." He then sighed and sagged. "Poor chief Gompers the goat. Some nights I swear you can still see him wander around the outskirts of the town."
Mr. Bagin cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.
"Now, I will admit this is irregular since he hasn't removed any funds since it was set up. The account designated the bank in charge of paying the taxes on the interest for the chief so he could focus on more important things, so you don't need to worry about that. Given that you claimed the Twin Property law, you have your brother's account, so we will transfer the amount into his account and change the name to yours. Sound fine?"
"Sure, go ahead. How much do I now have?"
When the banker showed Stan the number of zeroes in the account, Stan fell out of his chair.
"HOLY MOSES!"
"Stan, are you ok?"
Stan ignored the sheriff next to him and instead focused on the fact that he could rub this in his stupid dad's face now.
Unfortunately…
"Before I start planning my retirement, how much does Preston want for the bills?"
Mr. Bagin then pulled out several other documents from his briefcase. "I took the liberty of assembling all the bills and mortgage payments your brother owns into this document. Based on these, you owe Preston about 10% of that amount through all the bills and the totality of the mortgage."
Stan winced at the number. "If I do that, I will own the Shack in its entirety and not have to pay Preston any more mortgage payments, and the bills will be completely paid off?"
"Exactly. Would you like to do that now?"
Stan nodded and started signing the documents. When he was done, he gestured for the banker to stay.
"One moment, I owe several fines to the government and 'legitimate business owners' throughout the country. If I give you a list of all the ones I know of, can you help find any others?"
He nodded. "Sure Mr. Pines, but that would require a fee."
"Considered it paid. What do I need to sign to set that up?"
For the next thirty minutes Stan and Mr. Bagin's set it up for the search for every last dollar Stan owes someone in the country. Lucky Stan kept a detailed list of everyone he owed money to and every crime he was wanted for. After determining them, Mr. Bagin would pay it from the account and alert Stan to said amount. In exchange, Mr. Bagin would get half his fee now and the other half when it was all completed.
During this time, the sheriff had decided to leave and help look for Ford.
"Pleasure doing business with you. Here's hoping I still have some money in the bank when this is over."
Montney Bagin offered Stan a concerned look. "the bad news is that this list is extensive. I estimate that you could lose 40% of the account.
"The good news is that you are also getting the chief's salary, which should help."
Stan smiled at him before shanking his hand and letting Mr. Bagin go on his way.
I'd better put half of that fortune in a "help find Ford" account. Who knows where you can buy replacement parts for portals?
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Hello Gravity Falls! To celebrate the upcoming "Book of Bill", I have decided to make this a Gravity Falls summer! This means I will be posting a chapter of this fanfic once a week, every Friday morning until
August 30th.
13 chapters for those keeping count. I already have about half pre-written, so let's see if I can do it.
I have a if you want to support me and my New Year's resolution of posting one fanfic of 2k words or more weekly. This is also being posted on , AO3, and Tumbler.
: user?u=10132890
: s/14051718/1/luz-appreciation-week-2022-from-1228248
AO3: /works/52823413/chapters/133608991
Tumbler: blog/brianedner
I am also doing fanfic info dumps, think wiki articles that go one episode at a time with some compilations at the end on certain topics that are sorted by episode.
Fanfic info dumps here: 1228248/gallery