This is your repeat PSA that drinking milk is weird. I'll let Shepard and Liara explain why it's weird again, in case you need the reminder. But stop drinking it. (I kid, I kid, of course. Do whatever you want). In other news, cheese is still great. Yes, I see the hypocrisy.

Anyway, the whole milk discussion in this chapter is actually personal to me because it is inspired by the first time I ever truly felt alien somewhere. I'll spare you the whole story, but the gist of it is that I went to another country for the first time and realized that a good chunk of the world finds the fact that Americans drink so much milk very strange. And there's a difference between feeling that maybe you are strange, that you do something that others find peculiar, compared with the feeling that the entire culture that you grew up with is strange. There's something disorienting about the latter that tends to spark some defensiveness initially; but, ultimately, you just learn to find the amusement in it, shrug, and embrace the quirkiness of each culture. Or, in my case, you realize that yeah, drinking milk is weird and the rest of the world is right to think Americans are weird for drinking so much of it.

Also, I should probably mention, for any understandably concerned parties, that this story is finished. This definitely will not be my usual M.O. of getting hung up on something for months (maybe years) at a time. I told myself that I wouldn't be allowed to even think about posting a second edition unless I accomplished what I set out to do. Obviously, it helps a lot that the plot isn't changing, which takes one major factor of stall out of the equation. Although I have spent a considerable amount of time on this project, it has been largely spent on big, lofty literary goals rather than the basic minutiae of what the hell is going to happen in this story.

Expectations

Shepard awoke with a start, her heart racing. She bolted upright in her bed, breathing heavily. Less than a second later, her alarm sounded. Shepard groaned to herself. It felt like she had just managed to fall back asleep after the last nightmare. She didn't feel rested in the least. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she sat trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. Shepard tried to push the nightmare out of her mind, but the images were still vivid. The images from the beacon on Eden Prime seemed to take over when she slept, replaying as intensely as they had when she had first seen the vision. When she closed her eyes, all Shepard saw was death, destruction, a gaping maw intent on devouring everything. She heard screams of men, women, and children, and she felt their fear and despair. It had gotten to the point where she dreaded going to sleep despite the fact that she desperately needed it.

Getting up, she crossed over to the mirror on the wall and examined her haggard face. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. Her face looked pale except for under her eyes where the skin appeared darker. She could see the quiet desperation in her own violet eyes, begging for the visions to end. I see you, she thought, addressing the ancient civilization that had put the images into the beacon and her head. What else do you want from me?

There was no answer, and Shepard had things to do. A cold compress to the bags beneath her eyes, a touch of light makeup, a brush through her hair, and Shepard looked like her usual, professional self. She examined her appearance in the mirror, looking for any detail out of place. Just act like you're fine and you will be. It's all in the mind. No one needs to see you like that.

After dressing in a fresh set of fatigues, Shepard stepped out of her room and into the mess hall. Liara was the only person already seated at the table, as Shepard knew she would be. The asari had taken Shepard's invitation to share their meals seriously and had adjusted her schedule to wake up earlier in order to have breakfast with the commander. Others would start trickling in about 30 minutes later, but until then, the two of them could speak one on one.

Liara was adjusting well to the Normandy. Only a few weeks in and the human crew was starting to come around to her. They no longer seemed to watch her as closely, and more of them were beginning to engage the asari in conversation. As Shepard had hoped, they saw that the commander had no reservations about Liara, and therefore it was safe for them to let their guards down too. Additionally, Liara's suggestion of joining the ground missions had been astute. Seeing Liara fight alongside them had put a lot of minds at ease.

A little sadly, Shepard wondered if Liara would discontinue their shared mealtimes in the near future. She wouldn't need Shepard's protection anymore and she would be able to branch out to new people. Although Shepard had always figured the arrangement would be temporary, she had grown rather fond of their discussions over meals. Liara was incredibly bright, and although it was clear that she had been removed from the rest of the galaxy for some time, Shepard enjoyed watching her piece together information in real time. It was amazing how quickly Liara could solve a puzzle. And her naivety was often endearing. It kept Shepard on her toes because she never knew when she was going to have to explain some concept or break down the meaning of a phrase. To Shepard it was a fun game. Liara often surprised her in unique and challenging ways.

She also liked the asari as a person generally. She was easy to talk to, kind, and utterly without guile. She wasn't even sure if Liara knew how to lie. In fact, the only thing that really puzzled Shepard about the other woman was why she had chosen to isolate herself for so many years. Liara was smart, kind, beautiful – if she wanted to, she could navigate the galaxy with ease. Shepard didn't understand why Liara limited her own ambition. She suspected it had something to do with her relationship with Benezia, but the commander didn't want to pry. That still seemed like a fairly raw wound.

Shepard headed straight to the coffee dispenser and then sat down across from the other woman. Liara was reading a datapad in one hand and eating out of a bowl in front of her. Shepard had noticed that Liara was adventurous with food – a good quality in Shepard's opinion – and she wasn't shy about trying the different human foods aboard the ship in order to decide what she liked best. Today, it seemed that Liara had decided to try cereal. It was some generic fiber-based flake. But as Shepard peered into the bowl, she noticed that the liquid was clear instead of white, and she realized that Liara had used water instead of milk. She must have witnessed some of the crew eating cereal previously and not realized what the liquid was.

Shepard couldn't help chuckling to herself. At the noise, Liara looked up, noticing the commander for the first time. "Oh, Shepard, good morning. I did not hear you come over." Then, narrowing her eyes suspiciously, she asked, "What is so funny?"

Shepard took a sip of her coffee to hide her smile before answering, "You put water in your cereal instead of milk. I've never seen that before. Does it taste good?"

Liara looked down at the bowl and then quizzically at the commander. "It tastes fine. I have certainly had worse out on a dig site. But humans normally eat this with milk? From an animal? Or…?"

Shepard laughed at the questioning horror in Liara's voice as she considered all the places the milk might come from. "From animals. Cows, usually." Shepard brought up her omni tool and searched for a picture of a cow to show Liara. The asari looked at the picture and then looked at Shepard in disbelief.

"And this milk that you get from these cows… that is like breast milk that mothers feed to their infants? Except you drink it instead?"

Shepard was surprised that Liara knew that much about human reproduction. Although, to be fair, asari also had breasts, so it was reasonable to conclude that they probably breastfed their infants. But clearly, asari didn't drink milk past a certain age and the thought of drinking the breast milk of another animal probably seemed both repulsive and strange. Shepard laughed again and said, "Yup. That's exactly right. Just one of the many strange things humans do."

Liara looked at the bowl of cereal with a mixture of scientific curiosity and disgust. Shepard could only wonder what kind of conclusions she was drawing about humanity. The commander took a long sip of her coffee and then added, "Actually, it's probably for the best if you don't try cow's milk. As you've already figured out, we probably were not supposed to drink milk past infancy from a biological point of view, we just did it anyway. But a lot of humans, especially from cultures that don't drink milk often, are lactose intolerant, and milk makes them sick. If asari don't drink milk outside of infancy, then I would be willing to bet that you are lactose intolerant. And trust me, it would not be a fun experience."

"What happens to those people?"

Smiling and shaking her head, Shepard said, "Let's just say you don't want to hear about it over breakfast." At this point, Shepard was certain that Liara must think that humans were extremely strange. Explaining human customs to Liara often made Shepard realize how peculiar they were. "I'm afraid you're going to get a bad impression of our cuisine from living on the Normandy. You'll have to let me cook you something that hasn't been military approved sometime. I swear that we have some decent food to offer."

Liara averted her gaze from Shepard. "I would like that."

Shepard got up to grab her usual breakfast bar and to refresh her coffee. When she sat back down, Liara asked, "I noticed that you always eat the same thing and mostly drink coffee in the mornings. Is it the same when you are not on a ship?"

Shepard shook her head. "No, I love variety and I love a real breakfast. It might be my favorite meal, honestly. I don't think any other meal can outdo a human breakfast. It may be where we put all of our collective brain power." She took a bite out of the bar in her hand and grimaced as she compared it in her mind to a piece of French toast and a side of bacon. "But you can't make any of that on board a ship. It's just not a priority for the Alliance. I gave up on a real breakfast while on a ship a long time ago and just found what I hate the least. But what about you? What was a typical morning like for Liara T'Soni before a bunch of humans whisked her away?"

Liara touched her forehead, looking a little embarrassed. "Ah, well, I am afraid to admit that when left to my own devices I am not good about keeping a regular schedule."

"Too carefree to play by anyone else's rules?" Shepard teased.

"More like too distracted. When I am out in the field, I tend to get so focused on the work that I do not really think about anything else. Typically, everything outside of the work just gets ignored until it cannot be ignored anymore, like sleeping and eating. On the occasions when I have been at sites with other people, I do not think they have found me to be that… sociable."

Shepard chuckled. "I get it. Honestly, I think most people would be horrified if they knew just how little of a life I have outside of my work. This is actually a nice change of pace: just sitting and talking in the morning. It's probably a good thing for people like us to have the reminder to breathe."

Liara smiled and nodded. "I agree. It is nice to just spend some time talking."

Shepard heard the elevator doors open, followed by footsteps. She craned her neck to see Ashley shuffling around the elevator well, looking as if she were still half-asleep. Before the chief caught sight of her, Shepard called out, "In my dreams I am always saying goodbye and riding away, whither and why I know not nor do I care."

Ashley blinked at the words and when her eyes fell on Shepard, she sighed and said, "It's a little early for this, don't you think, Skipper?"

But Shepard just wagged her finger and said, "Rules are rules, Chief."

Ashley sighed dramatically, but Shepard saw the flash of a smile before the gunnery chief passed by on her way to the coffee dispenser. Ashley thought as she poured herself a mug of coffee and then said, "Twilight and evening bell, and after that the dark! And may there be no sadness of farewell when I embark."

Shepard rested an elbow on the table and put her chin in her hand as she dug through her memory for a response. She had intentionally set herself up to lose this round, but she wanted to make a decent showing first. Liara looked back and forth between them, obviously confused by this conversation that wasn't a conversation. A poem came to mind, and Shepard winked at Liara before saying, "Into the dark night resignedly I go. I am not so afraid of the dark night as the friends I do not know."

Coming over to the table and setting her mug down before crossing her arms with a smug smile, Ashley responded, "I cannot rest from travel. I will drink life to the lees: all times I have enjoy'd greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those that loved me, and alone."

Shepard frowned and once more put her chin in her hand as she thought. There was a long silence before Ashley interrupted her thoughts. "Just admit it, Skipper. You can't think of anything. You were dead in the water the second you made travel the central theme. You can't beat Tennyson when it comes to writing about an epic journey."

Ashley was right, of course. Shepard had picked the line of poetry she had for that very reason. The other day, she had overheard Ashley talking with one of her sisters back home and the chief sounded homesick. She figured the other woman could use a win. But Shepard just gave a sly smile and said, "Well, if I don't play to his strengths, then there's no way you'll ever win."

Laying a hand over her heart, Ashley replied, "Ouch Skipper. That wounded me right here."

Noticing the confused expression on Liara's face, Shepard explained, "Ashley and I have a little poetry competition going. One person picks any couple of lines of poetry they want. Then the other has to respond with lines from a different poem that relate to one of the themes in the original lines. We go back and forth like that, building on the themes, until someone can't think of anything. And, obviously, you can't look it up. Memory only. And no repeats."

"I was not aware that you both enjoyed poetry," Liara remarked.

Ashley let out a derisive snort. Shepard knew that she had been especially slow to warm to Liara, and she doubted that the two of them had spoken to one another at any length. Shepard said, "It doesn't fit the image of the tough soldier, I know. I was surprised when Ashley started quoting Tennyson at me. But it just goes to show that people are often more than what they seem like from afar." She very pointedly did not look at Ashley when she said that. Although Shepard certainly did not approve, she understood why the gunnery chief was skeptical about aliens. It was primarily just ignorance, with a dash of resentment for how her family had been treated after the First Contact War. This was Ashley's first starship posting and first time outside of a human colony. The cure for ignorance was exposure, and Shepard felt confident that the other woman would come around over time.

"Well, I'm going back downstairs," Ashley said, picking up her mug.

"You're not going to eat?" Shepard asked.

"Don't eat breakfast." She headed for the elevator. "If you need someone to school you on poetry again, you know where to find me."

Once Ashley was out of sight, Liara looked at the commander and asked, "Have you always been interested in poetry? It does not seem like you would have a lot of reason to study it in the Alliance."

"Always might be too strong a word, but for a good chunk of my life, yeah. My mom had a doctorate in literature. She was a teacher. The colony was small, so she taught just about every upper-level literature and writing course at school. I was in my mom's classes in addition to learning at home. I probably never had a choice, really. Literature was just a big part of our everyday lives." Shepard smiled as she remembered her mother reading to her before bed as a child, the numerous bookshelves that filled their house, including her own room, and the countless impromptu quizzes from her mother on just about every literature subject.

"You spoke about your mother in the past tense. Does that mean she has passed away?"

The question made Shepard suddenly uncomfortable. She avoided talking about what happened to her family if she could. The warmth that had filled her at the memories of her mother now went cold. The image of a batarian shooting her mother in the head intruded on her thoughts even as she tried to suppress it. Her gut twisted painfully as she thought that it was the last image she had of her. And because everything had burned in the attack, Shepard didn't have any pictures to look back on. Over time, her mother's face had become blurrier in her mind. There were less and less details. The things she remembered most were the strong emotions connected to her: love, safety, admiration which were ultimately turned into fear, grief, and loss.

All Shepard could manage was a stiff, "Yes."

Liara studied the commander, no doubt picking up on her sudden discomfort. Looking into Liara's blue eyes, Shepard could tell that the other woman wanted to ask more. Wanted to know why she was suddenly so tense. But Liara didn't ask. Instead, she decided to change the topic, and said, "Chief Williams called you skipper. What does that mean?"

Shepard took a breath, the tension leaving her shoulders. She was grateful that Liara hadn't pushed. "It's just an old word used to refer to the captain of a ship."

"Oh, I thought you were not a captain though?" She turned it into a question. "I suppose I do not really understand the different ranks."

"I'm not. My rank is beneath captain. Normally, only captains or higher can command ships. Things got… complicated when I was made a spectre. It would look bad if we were out here hunting Saren and I was taking orders from a superior officer the whole time. The Council would probably not like that. So, Captain Anderson –" Shepard realized suddenly that Liara wouldn't know who that was, so she explained, "He was the captain of the Normandy originally. He was my commanding officer and my mentor. I've known him a long time. Anyway, Captain Anderson arranged for the Normandy to be transferred to me. And that's how we all ended up here."

"But if you are not a captain, why did Chief Williams refer to you as skipper if it means the same thing?"

Shepard shrugged. "I assume it's her way of being respectful. Knowing Ashley, she's probably ticked off on my behalf that I am saddled with the responsibilities of being a captain without the rank or pay, but she can't call me captain because that's not my rank, and calling me an incorrect rank is against regulations. But she probably wants to acknowledge that I am acting as a de facto captain, so she settled on a word that means the same thing but is a meaningless title as far as the Alliance is concerned. Nothing in the rulebook says that when we are being informal that she can't use a nickname if I allow it. But she can't call me that when we are on duty."

"So, there are rules that govern how you have to act with everyone on the crew?"

Shepard let out an amused exhale. "So many rules. How we address each other, how much we can interact on-duty versus off-duty, whether gifts are ever ok, what kind of recreation is allowed – if you can think it, there's probably a rule about it. Obviously, you and the other non-Alliance crew don't have to follow the same rules. In that case, the rules just dictate my behavior."

"It seems like these regulations can be very restrictive," Liara observed.

"At times, sure. But the rules are there for a reason. It keeps things fair. No one wants to worry that their superior officer is picking favorites or unfairly choosing some people over others. It's better to police that sort of behavior so that it doesn't get out of hand."

Liara frowned, clearly mulling it over. Finally, she said, "I feel like it would get lonely for you, Shepard. You have to keep a distance from everyone."

The comment surprised Shepard; not because the thought had never occurred to her before, but because of the sadness she heard in Liara's voice. But she put on a smile and said, "Don't worry. I chose this path in life. I'm right where I was supposed to be. Besides, like you said earlier, when you're focused on the work, that stuff doesn't really matter."

Shepard glanced at her omni-tool and sighed. "Speaking of the work, I need to finish some reports before we reach Feros." She stood, gathering her mug and the empty wrapper from her breakfast bar. She smiled at Liara and said, "It was a pleasure as always, T'Soni."