It was after ten when Sakura arrived back to the apartment; her body covered in dirt and bruises, mind exhausted from twelve solid hours of training with the lady Hokage. The older woman hadn't been kidding when she'd told Sakura that she wasn't going to take it easy on her: in the two weeks that Kakashi had been gone, Sakura had hardly slept between the nightmares and the aching in her joints from the constant pressure coming from Tsunade. Now though, she was at least able to walk without limping after the training.
Kakashi was standing on the balcony, a cup in his hand as he looked out over the quiet village. A frown formed on the pink-haired woman's face when she saw the open tokkuri of sake sitting on the dining room table. She closed the front door, leaning against it for a moment while she waited for him to at least acknowledge her presence. When he didn't, she just sighed as she hung her bag on the hook next to the door and slipped out of her sandals.
She walked over to the kitchen, noticing the lack of dishes in the sink. She frowned, realizing he probably hadn't eaten. She pulled an eggplant out of the fridge and set a pot on to boil for rice while she sliced the vegetable. She placed it on a sheet pan and had just drizzled it with some oil and placed it in the oven to bake when she heard the glass door slide open at last; Kakashi's frame entering the dining room and crossing over into the living room, grabbing the sake on his way. She saw a slight stumble in his steps; a slight wave of his body as he slumped onto the couch. Sakura sighed as she set the timer on the oven before she walked over to the couch, sitting next to Kakashi.
"I'm making eggplant," she told him simply. "You haven't eaten all day."
Kakashi shrugged, his body falling back against the sofa before he turned his head so that he was facing her. "I decided to drink instead."
"I can see that," Sakura sighed, studying his face. She could tell that he'd been drinking for awhile; his pale face was flushed red, his grey eye glazed over. She reached up, wiping away a few beads of sweat before giving him a sad smile. She didn't speak, just sat there until she heard the timer in the kitchen. When she moved to stand, Kakashi's hand clumsily reached for her wrist and she stopped, not turning to face him when he spoke.
"What is this to you, Sakura?"
His words were tilted with a slight slur, but Sakura could hear the urgency behind them. Was this why he had chosen to drink today? Why he hadn't been able to talk to her this morning without shutting down entirely?
"I don't know what you want me to tell you," she answered him honestly, closing her eyes as his thumb rubbed circles into the dip of her skin. The timer sounded again and Sakura pulled away, making her way back into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner. She heard his heavy footsteps making their way to her and she swallowed hard at the feel of his chest to her back a moment later. She watched as his arms lifted above her to the cabinet, where he pulled two plates out before backing away from her.
He carried the dishes over to the table while she pulled the eggplant from the oven, putting it onto a serving plate before putting the rice into its usual bowl. He returned to help her carry the food and then they sat down, each going about their gratitude ritual before they looked at one another over the steaming meal.
"You asked me what this is to me," she finally spoke, pulling a slice of eggplant onto her plate. "But how can I even begin to answer that question when just this morning you made it abundantly clear that you can't even talk to me?"
"I talk to you," he tried to retort. A sharp glance from her piercing green eyes stopped him, and he turned his eyes away from her. When she noticed it, she slammed her fist onto the table's surface.
"No, you don't! Kakashi, you can't even look at me right now!" She snapped, dropping her chopsticks onto the plate, meal forgotten. "Is it because you hate me now?" These words were spoken more softly and the silver-haired man blinked, his grey eye widening.
Hate her? How could she possibly think that he hated her? Kakashi shoved his chair back from the table and downed the rest of his drink before staring down at her, his lone eye serious as he met her watery gaze.
"I don't hate you, Sakura," he whispered to her. He moved closer so that he was standing next to her chair and reached down to gently pull her to her feet. When she wouldn't look up at him, he tilted her chin with his index finger. "I don't hate you. Please believe that, at least."
For the first time since he'd arrived, Kakashi stared into her eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. His body froze at first; reminded by the way the dining room light caught the green of that day; that enemy. But as he wandered deeper into their depths; getting lost in the sadness and the disbelief in them, Kakashi spoke aloud the words he'd stopped himself from saying that morning.
"I hesitated in that moment not because I was afraid," he murmured, reaching up to pass his fingers over her dirty cheek. "But because I realized in that moment that I love you, Sakura."
The words almost felt unnatural to Kakashi even as they fell from his tongue. Before Sakura, the longest he'd ever stayed with the same woman had been a few days at most. He'd never cooked for another woman before; never allowed one to keep clothes and toiletries in his apartment. Hell, he'd never even let another woman in to his home, always opting instead for their places or some dark alley. He didn't know when it had started; when his platonic love for the woman who'd been his student for the last five years had begun morphing and twisting into this unrecognizable feeling that tore at his heartstrings and stole the breath from his lungs. He simply knew that it had, and that he needed Sakura to know it. He couldn't stand the thought of her believing that he hated her.
The admission shocked Sakura, and she froze in place, the only movement coming from her eyes as she searched his face for any sign of a lie or that he was just drunk. As though he could read her mind, he shook his head, reaching up and brushing the hair away from her face.
"I'll clear the alcohol from my system with chakra if you need to hear me say it sober," he told her gently. "I couldn't look at you because I was mad at myself about it."
Sakura blinked, reaching up with the back of her hand to wipe the moisture away. "Mad?" She asked him. Kakashi nodded, letting his hand drop as he stepped back from her. He poured some more sake into the cup, taking a sip before he explained.
"I've never loved anyone before, Sakura. It affected the mission...It nearly got me killed," he mumbled, pushing a hand back through his hair before he stumbled back over to the balcony, his body feeling overheated between the stuffy room and the alcohol. "The fact that I let it interfere with the objectives scared me," he hiccuped. "I let it dredge up some old shit and brought it all home with me."
Sakura joined him on the balcony, leaning her head on to his shoulder as she let everything he'd said sink in. Finally, she wrapped an arm around his waist and moved so that she was standing in front of him, her head tilted back to gaze up at him as he watched the passersby on the street below. His posture was loose and he was maintaining his balance by holding on to the railing behind her. His face gave no hint of the emotions he was feeling as the sake cup met his lips again.
"Do you..." she started, trying to find her words before she finally did. "Do you want me to stop coming here?"
Kakashi's eye shot down to meet hers, and he frowned, eyebrow furrowing. "What? No, Sakura. That's not..." He sighed. "I didn't tell you because I want it...us...to stop."
Relief washed over the younger woman, and she leaned up to brush her lips over his in a gentle kiss. When he felt the scab in the center of her bottom lip, he frowned and pulled away, reaching up to run the pad of his thumb over the small split.
"I hurt you," he sighed, closing his eye and tilting his head against her forehead. Sakura's fingertips ran up and down his shoulders softly before she kissed him again.
"You weren't yourself," she reminded him gently. "I taunted you when I should have known better. Besides," she gave him a coy smile, cheeks colored his favorite shade of pink. "I thought it was kind of hot."
Kakashi lifted his head, his eyes meeting hers. "Did you, now?" He asked her, bringing his hands to her hips. She replied by hiding her face in his chest and he chuckled at the rare display of shyness. He trailed one finger up her side to her chin, tilting her face back up again. He leaned down; letting his lips cover her softer ones, he grazed his teeth over her bottom lip, grinning at the gasp she let out when they touched the small wound. Her fingers gripped his shoulders tighter, her body now pressed tightly against his in her want.
"Not here," he whispered against her mouth, pulling her back with him into the apartment. Once inside, Kakashi lifted her, letting her legs wrap around his waist as he carried her to the bedroom.
"Shower," she told him when he began heading for the tatami, her lips now moving feverishly against his neck. He obliged, carrying her with him to the bathroom. He leaned over her to turn the water on and then his hands were back on her, his fingers latching onto her shorts and pushing them down while she tore the tee off, tossing it onto the floor before she began pulling at Kakashi's clothes. When they were both finally naked and Sakura was satisfied with the water's heat, she stepped back into the small space and pulled him in with her. He grabbed the soap, pulling her to him and kissing her cheek before he turned her around, scrubbing at her back with the bar. She groaned, letting her head loll forward as his large hands worked her muscles, washing away the day's sweat. When his fingers would graze a bruise and she'd flinch, he would lean over, pressing his lips to the discolored flesh with a gentle kiss. She turned around in his arms when she felt them reach her hips, smiling up at him as she took the bar of soap from him and did the same for him. Her kisses were more frequent, his body still heavily cut and the pale skin marred with shades of yellows and browns.
"Say it again," she whispered against his neck, her arms snaking around his waist, fingers splayed out over his abs. He felt that same warm, clenching feeling around his heart, the air gone from his lungs once more but he didn't stop the words from spilling from his mouth.
"I love you, Sakura."
He turned around to face her, a genuine smile on his face when he leaned down to press his lips against the corner of her mouth and say it again. She responded by lifting one leg around his hip, her heel pushing into his ass.
"Now show me," she murmured, her voice thick with desire.
Kakashi groaned, reaching in between them to find that she was more than ready. He gripped the base of his cock, guiding himself in slowly and Sakura gasped, her back arching her front against him, nails biting his skin. He leaned his forehead against her shoulder as he hoisted her up, wrapping both of her legs around him now as he pushed further, not stopping until he could go no further and their bodies were as close as two could get.
He stayed still for a moment, simply enjoying the intimacy of feeling her body clinging tightly to his own, her breath hot on his skin. He allowed his hands to run the length of her arms, his fingers running along the thick vein of her wrist before he lifted his gaze to meet hers.
"Tell me what else you liked," he told her, hands moving now to her ass. He shifted her so that all of her weight was on one arm and grinned at her when a mewl of pleasure passed her lips as he brought his free hand down on her ass cheek firmly, the loud clap of the spank causing her to grind her hips against his as he thrust slowly.
"Fuck, Kakashi," she panted, her head falling back against the tile and rolling to the side as another moan fell from her lips as he did it again. "Your hand on..." she paused as he stopped, pouting. He chuckled and ran his hand along the small of her back as she continued. "...my neck."
Kakashi's hand slowly moved up her arms to her shoulder blade, moving over to her throat. He watched the younger woman gasp sharply as his calloused thumb ran over her jugular, tracing the pattern the kunai had been held in that morning. When she whimpered a word that resembled please, the shinobi placed his hand over the entirety of her neck, his eyes meeting hers for any sign that she had been bluffing.
What he found were lust-darkened eyes half closed in pleasure. He tightened his grip and felt a primal surge shoot down his spine when he felt the rumble of her moan through the firm hold. He held her, eyes never leaving hers as he thrust his hips harder, deeper. His free hand moved to her hip, holding her so that only he was moving.
"No fragile flower, indeed," he murmured, leaning down to capture her lips in a rough kiss. He nipped her, grinning when she writhed in an effort to close the gap between them now. "Ah, ah," he whispered, pulling back in a taunt. "Tell me what you want."
Sakura groaned, her eyes flashing with impatience. "I don't want-"
"No," Kakashi shook his head, a grin on his face as she tilted her head up to meet his gaze with desperation. "Don't tell me what you don't want. Tell me what you want, Sakura."
To further encourage her, Kakashi pulled himself all the way out, running his length over her slick heat before plunging back in entirely. She moaned and clawed at his skin, needing more.
"I want you to..." she tried again, her words becoming lost as he thrust again. "I want you...ohh," she broke for another groan of pleasure with another thrust, her eyes closing. "...to be rougher."
Kakashi didn't need to be told twice. He pulled out and released her long enough to turn the shower off and get out of it before he pulled her out behind him, shoving her into the wall as he crashed his lips down onto hers with enough force to burst the small seam splitting her bottom lip. Sakura gasped at the sudden metallic taste, her fingers digging into the thin hairs at his nape before she lifted her legs only to whine as he pushed them down, his eyes meeting hers.
"I'm in control right now," he told her firmly, smacking her thigh with his hand before he turned her around and directed her towards the tatami. Like earlier that morning, he threw her down into the mattress, his body covering hers in an instant.
"Lift your arms above your head and keep them there," Kakashi directed her, near-black gaze meeting hers before he lowered his mouth to her neck. She did as ordered, turning her head to the side to grant him more access. Sakura gasped when she felt his fingertips dancing down her stomach and then to the tops of her thighs, where he scraped his fingernails along the sensitive flesh leading down to the bottoms of them.
Kakashi's eyes never left hers as he pushed her thighs up; not quite over her head, but leaving her feeling more exposed and more vulnerable than she ever had before in her life. "Hold them like that," he told her, pumping himself slowly as he watched her fingers grip her calves.
"Kakashi," she whispered, his name a beg. Her eyes were wide and glossy, the moonlight making them appear as green oceans, a tempestuous storm brewing in their bottomless depths. He moved closer, leaning down over her and capturing her lips in a rough kiss as he he filled her again.
Kakashi moved one hand to her throat; not squeezing, just holding her down as he moved hard and fast. She cried out his name again, one hand releasing her thigh to grip his bicep. He growled, ripping her hand off of himself, replacing it on her thigh.
He kept her like that for several minutes, eyes never leaving hers as he fucked her harder, deeper and more roughly than he had before. Sakura was beyond speech now, the only sounds falling from her lips coming in sighs and moans. He decided a change in position was in order and pulled out, releasing her throat before he gripped her hip and pushed her over onto her side.
Getting the hint, Sakura slowly rolled over, turning her head to the side so she could watch him. He was stroking his cock slowly with one hand while the other was resting on her ankle. Once she was on her stomach, she raised her hips, leaving her head down on the pillow. Kakashi growled, committing the sight of her like that, ass up and face down, to his memory before he decided they'd both waited long enough.
Kakashi reached one hand around her front, knowing just how to move his fingers to make her body respond the way he wanted it to. When he finally felt her thighs quivering and could see nothing but the burning need for release in her eyes, he allowed her orgasm, letting it wash over her as she cried his name before he pulled out, using his own hand to bring himself to completion, spurting his cum onto her lower back with a grunt. He collapsed next to her on the tatami, chest heaving hard. She curled into him, her fingers finding his in the darkness of the room.
He thought she was asleep several minutes later when her voice broke the comfortable silence, the sound of it thick with exhaustion and sweet in its hesitance.
"Say it again?"
Kakashi leaned over, leaving the imprint of the words she wanted to hear on her lips as he kissed her. She was asleep before he finished the third word and he smiled, letting his own eyes drift closed.