Chapter 5

"Sakura, you need to calm down," she heard her mother say.

She had straps on her arms. At what point had they tied her up? She felt confused, sleepy, lost.

"I want to die. Help me, Mom. Help me die, please," she regained some strength. "Help me!"

When she managed to focus her gaze she saw her parents. Both of them had tears in their eyes. They were trying to regain their composure for their daughter because it was not the time to break down when she needed them.

"Give me something, anything. Just help me die. I don't want to be here anymore. I can't be here without them Please!"

At that moment a nurse arrived and approached her cautiously. She knew she was coming to put her to sleep again.

"What's the plan?" inquired his father.

"We'll bring a therapist to talk to her. For now we have to keep her sedated".

"Are the straps necessary?" asked her mother holding back her sobs at seeing her daughter like that.

"I'm afraid so. Without the sedative, she is very aggressive. She has already attacked three nurses," the nurse said shyly.

Sakura felt like she was falling asleep again. She wanted to fight it but had no control.

Oof.

Going for a run with Kero had always been a good way to keep my dangerous thoughts away. I was too focused on not dying. Kero loved it, but I only did it out of necessity. I saw a familiar figure in front of me and stopped dead on my tracks.

"What a pleasant surprise," the man said with a smile.

"Dai," I said without in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

"I like to exercise in this park. And who is this?" he asked looking at Kero.

"This is Kero, " I smiled. "He likes to run in this park because the children run to give him food and scratch his belly."

Kero stayed put, analyzing Dai. After our encounter with Syaoran a few days ago, he had been a little more overprotective. Suddenly, he jumped on top of Dai almost knocking him to the ground but he kept his balance. Kero tried to kiss him, and he just laughed.

"He seems to like you," I said, smiling at the image.

I realized how I looked compared to him. My light brown hair was in a sweaty, greasy bun. I had a gray t-shirt also covered in sweat, and black leggings full of dog hair. Dai had a black t-shirt, tight to his body with a light stain of sweat, gray shorts, and black tennis shoes. I wouldn't deny it, he looked sexy. I felt a little embarrassed by my thought.

"Well Kero, I like you too. I'm sorry I haven't texted you, work has been a little busy."

The truth was that with so much on my mind, I hadn't even thought about it.

"Don't worry," I said. "Life's like that."

"How about a date now? There's a nice cafe around the corner, and they let dogs in."

Kero was excited at the idea. But I wasn't sure.

"I don't think I'm presentable. I should fix myself up a bit," I tried to justify.

"I don't know what you're talking about, you look beautiful," he smiled sincerely. I blushed.

It felt good. Normal.

"Okay, but I'm not responsible for any smells I might give off.

He laughed and we started walking. Kero was very happy among us and we stopped a few times for children to greet him. Some of them were my students or their little siblings. I loved seeing my children. Dai was very friendly and played with the children a little. I mean, fuck, handsome and good with children. Oof. I was in trouble. The hole in my chest constricted a little but I took a deep breath. Dai noticed and touched my shoulder, a questioning look in his eyes. I shook my head and he understood.

We got to the cafe and ordered some drinks and something for lunch. The menu also had dog food and Kero looked like he could kiss the waitress.

"Are you okay?" Dai asked with some concern.

"Is that a pity?" I tried to joke.

He smiled.

"No, it's understanding. I know how that pain in your chest feels. I also know that it is not the same for everyone."

Talking about the hole in the chest was not my favorite topic, but having someone who somehow understood was intriguing..

"It's like a void. I can't get anything to fill it. I get panic attacks. Kero helps," Kero looked at me when he heard his name but returned to his sandwiches, "but I don't know if he will ever leave.

"What you went through is not easy. It was abrupt. Processing it, I imagine, has taken and will continue to take time."

"Can I ask what happened to your wife?" He knew so much about me, I only help it fair.

"Cancer. They detected cancer in her pancreas. By the time we found it, it was too late," he said sadly. "She was given three months but died within six weeks. For a long time, I was angry and felt that emptiness. But unlike you, I was able to get used to the idea of her not being there before it happened. Don't feel bad for not recovering. Everyone heals in their own way and pace."

His words reached the deepest part of my soul. Sometimes I felt like it was taking me too long to heal. Others, it felt that I healed too quickly and it seemed disrespectful to my family. Maybe healing wasn't bad, it's not like I had to speed up the process, but I didn't have to sabotage it either. I was sure my therapist had told me that too but I decided to ignore her. Who did she think she was to tell me something? I loved her now, but not so much back then.

"I'm sorry about your wife."

"It's okay, as long as you don't look at me with pity," he smiled. I couldn't help but smile too.

We spent the afternoon talking and getting to know each other a little more. Kero enjoyed his food and slept peacefully at my feet. It had been a lovely afternoon. But of course, life is not perfect.

"I thought I heard you," Syaoran said behind me. "Care to introduce us?"

I turned my head suddenly and huffed angrily.

"Kato Daisuke, nice to meet you," Dai stood up and shook his hand.

"Li Syaoran, the pleasure is mine."

The grip looked a little tense but I didn't know which of them was to blame.

"Are you friends with Sakura?" Dai asked without releasing his grip.

"No, and we should go now," I said suddenly, standing up. Kero woke up and looked at Syaoran suspiciously.

"Sakura, please…" he began to ask.

"Leave me alone."

"You need to listen to me," he said standing in front of me.

"I think Sakura already said no twice. Excuse us, Li," said Dai curtly.

Dai offered me his hand and I took it. I felt butterflies in my stomach and let it go as soon as we stepped out of the place.

"Sakura!"

"Pepper spray!" I yelled back

When we got far enough Dai looked at me.

"Who was he?"

"Someone from my past who I don't even want to talk about," I said in a definitive tone.

"Okay, okay," he said, putting his hands in front of himself as if he were defending himself. "How about ice cream?"

"I'm sorry, but I have to go get ready for tomorrow. And Kero needs a bath too. Could we do it another time?"

"Of course. Dinner next Friday, what do you think? I'll let you pay and everything," he smiled flirtatiously.

Oof.

"What a gentleman," I rolled my eyes. "Sounds good. I'll text you later."

"Not if I do it first," he added.

And before I could react, he kissed me on the cheek and walked away. I was glued to the spot where I was standing. I was trying to process what had happened and I heard an angry huff.

Syaoran looked at me with an annoyance I hadn't seen in years. An anger that only meant one thing: he was jealous.

Oof.

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