Chapter 3: Where I Wanna Be.

Heaven.

It's the only explanation for the unnatural peace that kissed me awake that morning. A gentle light shone behind my closed eyelids I wasn't ready to open. I wanted to revel in the angelic hug that was unmistakably the softest bed I've ever had the pleasure of sleeping in. This must be that "cloud nine" feeling I've heard of. Hell, I'm convinced this bed is made of clouds. And with every breath I take, the soothing aroma of fresh laundry and cinnamon envelops me. Pillows bless me with a coolness that balances the warmth of a soft duvet cover. I was practically melting.

What was I doing before this, anyway? I'd almost forgotten I was walking somewhere. A hotel or something, I think. I remember collapsing before I could reach it. I remember feeling like I swallowed sand paper due to lack of hydration, the rough feeling of my chapped lips rubbing against my cursed threads. I was almost certain I could cut free. And the faint smell of brimstone reminded me how dreadfully hot it was. I'm so glad it's over. I'm so glad I didn't die in that dark place I used to call "home". I'm so glad I died fighting for change. God must have seen my desperation, my strife, my willingness to do anything to be forgiven of my own sins. And now, finally, I can rest.

Simply put, this place fucks. Hard. And I mean that in the best way possible. I felt so full inside, so overwhelmed with… with…

Joy…

My face had become wet with tears. I did it. I'm free. Slowly, I rose from the lush nest and rubbed the sleep and tears from my eyes, ready to see the beauty of my new afterlife.

Instead, I was met with a big ass bug.

A long forgotten fear crawled up my spine and disgust made something nasty in my stomach flip on its head. I foolishly reacted on instinct, letting a sharp yelp rise in my throat. The aftershock of its vibrations hit me faster than I could stop it and within moments, my head and ear drums felt as though they'd implode. In a rush of panic, I transferred these vibrations that itched for release to my hand and gave a sonic slap to the pest, effectively sending it flying to the wall.

"Shit!" I hadn't realized the well-known porn demon, Angel Dust, was also in the room with me. "Dammit Nifty, I told you you'd scare her! Why don't you ever listen to me," a voice scolded.

The roach, surprisingly unharmed by my near-fatal reaction, dusted herself off with a cheerful grin. "Ehehe sorry. I just wanted a closer look," she chirped, her voice high-pitched and grating on my raw nerves. "Hey, you pack quite a punch! Hehe, I bet Vaggie will love you!"

I groaned and covered my ears, hoping to block her out. This chittering bug needed to be squashed. At least the porn demon seemed to have the sense to read the room. The room I clearly did not want them in. And what the hell did a vagina have to do with anything?

"Sorry about her, she uh… She can be a lot," the spider said sheepishly. "Glad to see you're awake. Ya feelin' any better?"

I'm glaring at him before nodding slowly. He offers an apologetic smile and starts to leave, Nifty following him. She was giggling maniacally as she hurried out the door with an impressive speed. "Head down to the lobby when you're ready. I'll introduce ya to the gang," he told me, then left me to my confusion in peace.

This was not the heavenly image I expected to wake up to. This wasn't heaven at all. That much I could piece together.

I winced, rubbing my now sore throat in a useless attempt to soothe it. The taste of blood was on my tongue, and it pained me to swallow. Luckily, the damage wasn't as bad as it could have been, but the little insect took me by genuine surprise. I will not make that mistake again.

Time was my only consolation, healing my sensitive ears and headache with each passing minute. I needed to think of my game plan when I walked out of this room. I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far. In my own deliriousness, I thought I was dead until I opened my eyes. I can only assume after passing out, someone found me and took me in. Now that I'm here, I questioned my true motives. Why did I come here?

Before I let my thoughts spin me any further, I figured a simple morning routine was a good place to start. So many firsts in barely an hour into my new life. I haven't had a bed in years, much less slept in a comfortable one. For the sake of spontaneity, I took advantage of the luxurious bathroom and soaked in my first bubble bath. Whatever qualms I had before, they melted down the drain in a long shower while I washed my locs, really washed them, with shampoo and all. Retwisted them too, something I tended to neglect in the Envy Ring. Stubborn knots easily untangled with sonic vibrations through my fingertips, an interesting development of my still-adapting powers. I found myself having fun with the therapeutic process of simply getting myself together in the morning. If I was going to make an impression, I needed to erase the one that I made upon arrival. And this morning. I didn't want them to think I was some random bum looking for a free room.

Examining myself in a full-length mirror, I almost liked what I saw looking back at me. My locs were much neater now, slicked back into my usual tight bun and two locs framing the sides of my blotchy blue and purple face. I made a note to thank whoever fixed my clothes. It was as good as new, like it was never a tattered bunch of rags before. A proud smile tugged at my lips as I tightened the white apron around my waist. Hopefully someone here knew sign language. It was a different kind of hell finding creative ways to communicate with those who didn't.

The doorknob seemed to have drained all my courage. I spent hours rehearsing what I'd say to them, sweating over the perfect line, the perfect body language. I mean, this is the Princess of all of Hell. I couldn't just show up without my manners. I had no gift, no anything, but I had to make do. A glance at my wrist watch tells me it's now 4:57pm. I wasn't about to let my anxiety waste the rest of this day away, so I finally let myself out of the room. I was on my way downstairs when I heard a group of voices discussing… Well, me.

"Charlie, I'm tellin' ya, you shoulda seen it. She slapped Nifty to the wall like a damn volleyball, I thought she was done for."

I recognized Nifty's voice immediately. "Ehehe I bet she was a bad boy in her last life. Sure hits like one."

"Fuckin' Christ, Niff…," a deep voice rumbled.

"Oh, come on, Angel! You were the one that told us she needed help in the first place. Now you're scared because she got scared because you guys scared her first? Who knows where she's coming from, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation."

"That was before she bitch slapped someone six times her shrinkage! I know it ain't my place to judge, but she hurt our friend. And after that shitfest with Adam and his goons, can ya blame me? Really?"

So much for a first impression. I continued to listen, taking a seat halfway down the red carpeted staircase. A one-eyed black and white cat found its way to me and brushed up against my leg. The affection gave a squeeze to my heart and unable to resist, I held my hand out to them. Their little nose felt cold as it sniffed my fingers, then pushed its head into my palm. What a cute little thing. I added to my mental list: First time petting something that wasn't wet.

The one named Charlie sounded frustrated. "Look, Sera said she'd give us three years to provide results that prove the hotel works consistently. We're lucky she even gave us that. This is the first person to show up since the war, we need this. So, can we please just take it one step at a time and do a better job at not scaring our new guest right now?"

Interesting. From the sound of it, the hotel actually works. I deduced that whatever proof that we were able to provide of the hotel's success wasn't enough. This 'Sera' character sounds like she's got quite the stick up her ass, but I also understood the uncertainty surrounding the issue. And there was still much I didn't know, but this little snippet of a conversation is enough to question my own motives. Was heaven worth the trouble of redemption? Did I even want that?

"Where is our little fried fish friend, anyhow?" This voice was unique, sounding as though it was filtered through a radio station. I wasn't particularly a fan of the "fried fish" comment, but I suppose I could let it slide for now.

"She's been hiding in her room all day," Angel groaned.

"Yeeaah, about this new girl… How do we know she even wants to be redeemed, anyway?" This mind reader of a voice doesn't have a name yet, but it spoke earlier. I like his voice, even if it sounds like he's drowning in liquor.

"We don't." This one is new. Another deep one, but a touch more feminine. "But we can't afford to be picky. We have to try. Let's just hear her out and see what happens."

The cat found its way onto my lap now. I liked this little thing. Almost enough to eat it.

Eat it.

I shook the intrusive thought away. I was hungry, and I realized at that moment I had no idea where my eels went. The cat suddenly jumped away from me, its attention now fixed on an actual roach scurrying across the floor. Disgust twisted my face. This might've been visually appealing, but man, it sure had a lot of bugs. The thought of there being a possible infestation made my skin crawl, but it also gave me a brilliant idea. I felt a smile sneak its way onto my lips. I could use a snack, but I needed a way to eat without letting them know the full extent of my powers. Lightbulb above my head, I decided that was enough eavesdropping and stalling of meeting new people and my absence seemed to have them on edge. I should relieve them.

I entered the sitting area and the first person to catch my eye was the snake demon in what looked to be a large memorial. It was beautifully painted, surrounded by beautiful flowers. He must have meant a lot to them to have this set up near the lobby. It commanded respect, and I gave it just that.

"Well, speak of the devil! We were just finished judging you." The radio demon was a lot more… flamboyant than I expected him to be. He sat cross legged with impeccable posture and his gaze alone berated me. It forced you to shrink and expected that was the point; to make you feel small. I decided a little too quickly that I hated his sinister grin.

"Oh! Hello!" Charlie's voice belonged to a pale, slender woman wearing a red tuxedo. I recognized her from the commercial along with Angel. She looked less like a clown in person than on the shitbox television I saw her in at The Shipwreck. "I'm so glad to see you're okay! Did you sleep well?"

'I did, thank you,' I signed. I was met with half-expected confusion and she turned to look at a purple moth woman sitting next to Angel on a lovely red and gold couch.

This one had a ferocious fighting spirit. I saw it in her eyes; one wrong move and I knew she'd take pleasure in tearing me apart. The thought of it amused me. I've been out of the fighting game for a while, but she could try me if she dared. All I asked for was a good reason. Maybe it was the information I'd overheard, but I didn't feel threatened by any of these demons in the slightest. Not even the strawberry man, at least not yet. I took note not to underestimate any of them, but as far as I could tell, they seemed to need me more than I needed them.

Something nasty flipped in my gut again. I liked the power that thought gave me.

"She said yes." She might as well have spit it out. I admired her fierceness.

"Really? That's great! Please feel free to stay as long as you wish and welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!"

As Charlie introduced me to the rest of the staff, I felt her positive nature was refreshing. A bit overbearing at times, maybe, but still magically contagious. It was hard not to like her and I knew it would be more difficult with the rest than I would with Charlie to gain their trust. Difficult, but not impossible. I did my best to outwardly show my gratitude.

'Thank you for taking me in. I saw your commercial some weeks ago and I really liked what you have to offer. If you're hiring, I'd also like to work here,' I explained. This seemed to have taken Vaggie (not short for vagina, by the way) by surprise.

"Wait, seriously," she asked suspiciously, to which I nodded in response.

"Wha? What'd she say," Angel asked. "Don't leave me out!"

"She says she wants to stay and work here," Husker slurred. I found it funny how he drank liquor like a baby with a bottle.

"AHHH, yes!" Charlie excitedly grabbed my hands and bounced like a dog. Seeing her so happy made me smile. I felt a wave of accomplishment wash over me. A flash of a memory blitzed across my mind, and it triggered an urge to protect. I bowed respectfully and gently pressed my forehead to her cool knuckles.

I remember being in a similar setting, silently vowing my loyalty to a demon of regal status. I ignored the on-lookers, the 'oohs and what-the-fucks, the sound of jealousy clawing the fabric of a couch, and raised my head to look her highness in the fiery red passion of her eyes. At that moment, I saw someone in her. I claimed my responsibility over her. I owed my well being to her, my courage to dare for more. All of this inspired by her audaciousness to follow through with a silly dream very few seemed to believe in.

I may not know what I want yet, but I needed something silly to be half-sure of, too. I needed to be here. How would I ever change my fate otherwise?

'It would be an honor to work for you, Princess Morningstar. I have a lot to thank you for,' I told her. 'I don't mean to be rude, but I noticed you had a bit of a… bug infestation. And Nifty, I'm sorry for my reaction this morning. I'm not used to waking up to another face. As for the bugs, I'd be happy to get rid of them for you. I was one hell of a maid myself, you know.'

Vaggie, after a long pause, translated my promise to rid them of their creepy-crawlers. Nifty seemed particularly excited for it, as she stated her ironic detest for bugs as well, despite being one herself. It wasn't much, but it was one way I could show my usefulness and, hopefully, gain a bit of their trust.

"Alright, new kid," Vaggie said. "Show us what you got."

Turning on my heel, I began to hum at a low frequency. The steps of my boots sent my sound vibrations from my mouth to the floor, rhythmically summing every little creature hiding in the walls and dark corners following closely behind me.

"Oh, gross… Nifty, I had no idea how much you sucked at pest control," Angle said. I heard the smile in his voice, and I took this as a sign of inexplicit appreciation. I opened the front door and, to my disgust, hundreds of pests crawled past my feet to exit the premises. There were too many eyes now but I'd summon them again later to feed in peace.

The strawberry man, Alastor, melted into existence next to me. "I hope this isn't all the skill you're offering, little imp. We already have someone who is excellent at pest control."

I raised an eyebrow at him and his shit eating grin. Something about his tone annoyed me. They couldn't possibly be that good if I just summoned a swarm of them in a matter of seconds. And who was he to question the extent of my capabilities? With a huff, I looked away from him, unimpressed with his efforts to toy with me.

'You'd do well not to underestimate me, shadow man,' I signed. After a moment of silence, he snapped his finger.

"Sorry dear, I don't speak twiddling thumbs, so I gave you subtitles. Care to repeat yourself?"

I didn't care, and I had a sneaky suspicion he didn't either. I would not allow myself to be taunted by this walking chili pepper. I held my head high, feeling a sense of accomplishment through Charlie's many words of thanks. I was determined to prove myself in this strange new world. With a subtle smirk, I brushed past Alastor, leaving behind a hint of triumph.

I will show them and this pretentious shadow man just how useful I can be.