Chapter 7: This Is Why
881 days remained upon the clock tower. As the months trickled by, so did the new residents and visitors of the hotel.
39 residents, 14 visitors, and 1 soul redeemed. This new counter was placed in front of the establishment for all to see, silencing the mouths of those who doubted us and encouraging the spirit of all who believed.
I'd been promoted from Maid to Personal Advisor, effectively earning my place in the council that was the Hazbin's leading operation. Thanks to my tireless efforts, I had Charlie's complete trust in professionally helping to run the establishment. And of course, my new position came with new benefits and even more money. And more money meant more clothes. And I'd come to love anything that gave me the excuse to buy new clothes.
Charlie seemed to glow more than usual, beaming with pride as she watched her dream slowly become reality. Her dedication and hard work were paying off, and it showed in the slow-growing number of souls seeking refuge within the hotel's walls. Initially, we were surprised by the sudden success of the business, finding ourselves stretched thin and struggling to accommodate the influx of guests while maintaining the high standards that had become synonymous with the Hazbin Hotel. But Charlie showed her potential in leadership and adaptability, quickly implementing new strategies and delegating tasks to ensure that the hotel continued to run smoothly. Despite the occasional setbacks, she did not let that falter her determination for even a moment. Day by day, she carried herself like the true Queen of Hell she was destined to be. I was honored to be by her side through it all, advising her through the challenges and celebrating our victories together. As our team grew stronger, so did our bond, and it was clear that under Charlie's guidance, we were unstoppable.
As a group, we conducted rigorous interviews with potential candidates, meticulously vetting each one to ensure they aligned with the Hazbin Hotel's values and mission. Alastor and I were adamant that only the most skilled and dedicated individuals should join our team, knowing that their contributions would directly impact the quality of service we provided to our guests. Together, we sought out individuals with diverse talents and backgrounds, from experienced caretakers to skilled chefs and maintenance workers. Each new addition brought fresh perspectives and expertise to the table, enriching our collective efforts to create a welcoming and supportive environment for all who sought redemption within our walls. It was a tedious process, but one that was crucial in maintaining the shining reputation we had worked so hard to establish in the eyes of the public.
I couldn't help but think of Seviathan in all of this. They were to be wed until his senseless demise. They would have shaken the realms together, had he been fortunate enough to live. And he'd have loved her like no other. But she had Vaggie now, and she was happy. And that's all I ever cared about since meeting her.
As for my hunger, it was still well under control. But now, I had a new annoyance to worry about; my occasional splitting migraines, like the one I was experiencing now.
I sat in the darkness of my new office within the library, the only light provided was the glow of my pet eels now on the left side of the wall and other aquatic creatures I kept in a separate tank to my right. I waited for the pain to subside, as it usually did with enough peace and quiet and medicine, laced with a special kind of healing magic that I absorbed through the skin. I messaged the gel-like substance into my temples, as instructed by a medicine woman I bought it from. It started last month; odd auditory hallucinations of screams and chains rattling in my mind, similar to what I'd heard the first time I dropped Angel to his job. Occasionally, I even thought I heard people talking to me, only to leave me looking like a fool when no such thing happened. Perhaps I was finally going insane, if I wasn't already.
As I continued to massage the healing gel into my temples, trying to soothe the throbbing pain in my head, I suddenly heard a familiar voice echoing in my mind. It was Peter's voice, clear and distinct, as if he were standing right beside me.
"She ought to have a good explanation for this, or so help me."
His words resonated with a mixture of sternness and irritation, causing me to pause mid-motion. I furrowed my brow, trying to make sense of the unexpected intrusion into my thoughts. I must be stressed. That had to be it.
Before I could dwell on it further, there was a sharp knock on the door, followed by the sound of it swinging open. Peter strode into the room, his authoritative presence commanding attention, as always. He glanced around the dimly lit space until his gaze locked onto mine with a mixture of curiosity and determination.
"Thorne," he greeted, his voice low and measured. "We need to talk."
I blinked, momentarily taken aback by his sudden appearance and the serious tone of his voice. Charlie and Angel ran up behind him, seeming to be a bit out of breath. I looked at them and I know my face is showing my own irritation. I told them I didn't want anyone disturbing me while I was on break.
"S-sorry, Thorne," Charlie started sheepishly, "We tried to stop him, but he wouldn't let up."
Figures. It wasn't exactly my place to be upset with either of them. Peter was a stubborn man, an intrusive, nosey, entitled man. It's what made him good at his job. Once he has questions, he stops at nothing to get the answers. He was relentless in that way, and I found it rather annoying. He wouldn't leave me the hell alone if I didn't make this time for him now. Damned reporter.
I sighed and waved them off, signaling that it was okay for them to leave. Before Charlie closed the door completely, Angel made a circle with his forefinger and thumb with one hand and repeatedly poked his other free pointer finger through it with the other. 'Fuck him up,' he mouthed silently, a little too enthusiastically, and I rolled my eyes at him fast enough to see it before they disappeared behind the closed door.
Despite the lingering discomfort in my head, I forced myself to focus and gave Peter my full attention.
'I hope this is worth interrupting my break,' I signed.
"Well, excuse the fuck outta me," he retorted, quite animated in a handsy kind of way. He wants to yell, but I know he's noticed my battle with my headache. "What the hell were you thinkin', Thorne? An interview with Katie? Really?"
'Please watch your tone, Mr. Inkwell,' I warn, and it only seems to frustrate him further. I will not tolerate any man speaking to me with such little regard. I deserved more than that.
"I'm not watchin' shit 'til you tell me what's goin' on. I need answers." He walks to the side of my desk and leans his hands on it, looming over me. "Now."
I refuse to break my gaze. What is it with men and translating their concern through anger? 'I made the decision that I felt was best for the hotel. Katie may be our competition, but she also has a wide-reaching audience. This interview could be an opportunity to reach people who wouldn't otherwise hear about us.'
Peter's jaw clenched, his frustration evident in the tight folds on the bridge of his wide nose. "And what about the risks?" he shot back, his voice rising slightly. "You know Katie's reputation. She'll do whatever it takes to get her story, even if it means twisting the truth or outright lying. And if she tarnishes the hotel's reputation, my reputation-" I raise my hand then to cut him off.
'I'm well aware of the risks, Peter,' I told him. I see his eyes reading the translations as I continue, 'But I trust Charlie to handle herself in the interview. If Katie tries to pull anything, she'll only embarrass herself.'
"And if you're wrong? If this interview backfires and we're left picking up the pieces? What then?"
Fuck, he's infuriating sometimes. I stand up to him, though the height difference is rather comical than intimidating. Nevertheless, I stand my ground.
'Then we deal with it.' I wish I could speak. I wish I could just open my mouth. These cursed threads just piss me off more. 'But right now, we need to take risks if we want to succeed. More than we already have. We can't afford to only work within our limitations, no matter what odds are against us.'
There was a tense silence between us, the air crackling with unresolved tension. Peter's gaze softened slightly as he studied me, a mixture of frustration and something else I don't quite recognize. Or rather, something I only witnessed amongst others, like when Husker's pupils dilate at the mere sight of Angel Dust. Whatever this is, it makes my skin hot and my chest tight, like I'm about to panic. But… in an oddly good way. I think.
"Thorne," he said finally, his tone softer now and I want to die. I love the way he says my name. I hate how it makes me feel. "We've come too far to let something like this jeopardize everything we've built. I hope you know what you're doing."
I nodded slowly, feeling the weight of his words and the intensity of his gaze, which shine every now and then when my eels move back and forth between the tank. 'It'll be okay. Please trust me.'
I break eye contact fast enough to see his hand reach out, intending to place it somewhere and the unexpected gesture makes me flinch. Without thinking, my gloved hands intercepted his large ones, my fingers wrapping around his wrist in a firm grip. It was a reaction of pure instinct and one I felt I might regret later. When I look back at him, his black eyes challenged my apologetic ones, daring me to let him in, if even just a little. I don't want to. Not yet.
I'm not ready.
Reluctantly, I let go and take a slow step back. I don't have time for this. I have too much work to do to let him distract me. I have to practice interview questions with Charlie, I have to figure out this stupid headache issue, I have to tend to our guests, I have some other thing that gives me the excuse to be away from him. I can't stand it when he looks at me like that. Like I've wounded him.
He takes a deep breath and stands a bit straighter, collecting himself before turning on his heel. He says nothing. He just leaves. And I hate him a little more.
"You okay, babe?"
Vaggie's concern sliced through the bustling newsroom, her gaze lingering on Charlie. I looked up from my clipboard and peered over the rim of my shades at the two of them, engrossed in their pre-interview preparations.
"Yeah," she says quietly. Charlie's fingers toyed with a loose strand of hair as she spoke, her rattled nerves present in the shake of her voice. "It's just so weird being back here. Everyone laughed at me last time."
The one eyed woman tucks the loose strand of hair behind Charlie's ear, earning her a nervous smile from her lover. She holds her hands, maybe hoping to transfer some of her courage into her. Soundless reassurance passes between them as she responds. "You'll do great. I have total faith in you." Then she paused, seeming to remember something. "Just… Y'know."
"Don't sing?" The thought only makes them both laugh. "Don't worry, I learned my lesson."
As I watched them exchange reassuring words, a small smile tugged at the corners of my lips. It was heartwarming to see their bond, their unwavering support for each other. I was almost envious of it. Love was a concept I often observed from a distance, something others experienced but always felt out of reach for me. My thoughts somehow drifted to my struggling feelings for Peter. When I really thought about it, I couldn't say in all seriousness that I loved him. He was merely useful to me. If he were to fuck up in anyway, he would simply be discarded. I was sure I'd come to grow bored of our little cat and mouse game. I hoped.
A cameraman saved me from my thoughts, announcing that there was one minute left before going live and as Charlie walked to her seat, I felt something in my gut turn. I was incredibly nervous, but I wouldn't dare show it, not now when she was about to make her big break. All of hell would be tuned in to watch this broadcast and we prepared as best we could. There was absolutely no room for failure, otherwise this will all have been for nothing. But at least there was some comfort in knowing that no matter the outcome of this interview, I knew Charlie would always fight tooth and nail for what she believed in.
When I saw Her Majesty sitting there, looking poised and professional in her red tuxedo and that oh-so-familiar passion in her red eyes, I felt a bit safer. She was here for her people, to protect us from further harm caused by the Angels. This message may not reach everyone, but she knew it wasn't for everyone either. She'll walk away from this unscathed, and demons will walk away from this either feeling defeated or inspired. It was not in her control how it was interpreted by the viewer. As long as she remained honest, we could only hope for the best.
"Welcome Sinners! I'm Katie Killjoy, coming to you live with an exclusive interview with our Princess of Hell." She breaks her neck to look at Charlie, then corrects herself before continuing. "Last time you were here, you gave us all quite a laugh! Not to mention giving me the big bucks. So tell me, is it possible that little hotel of yours is doing worse than before?"
And so, the interview commenced. Katie launched into her questions, I held my breath, watching with Vaggie from the sidelines with bated breaths. Charlie spoke with practiced confidence, her words flowing effortlessly as she shared the story of the Hazbin Hotel and its mission of redemption. Katie seemed bored, nodding off and struggling not to fall asleep as Charlie painted vivid pictures of the hotel's transformative journey and accomplishments. I couldn't help but feel a swell of pride. Charlie's passion and determination shone through with each word, seeming to captivate even some of the camera crew and the live audience.
"Well, you paint quite the pretty picture for your little dollhouse. But I think I speak for everyone when I say I still call bullshit," Katie sneered, a wicked smile playing on her lips.
It was no secret that Katie would do anything to try and make us look bad. As an act of retaliation for working with her competitors, she would appeal to the public she knew best; The majority of demons that really don't give a shit. I was counting on her taking this approach. It was the only angel that would work for her shit-fest of a news station, and that's why she would fail.
"Excuse me," Charlie asked, her tone even. It was important that she didn't react. And if she did, she knew how, adopting Alastor's teachings of keeping a smile on her face, no matter what was thrown at her.
"There's still no concrete proof that Sir Pentious was really redeemed. Until I see that, you're still selling false dreams. These "success stories" of you pulling bums off the streets with all your "charity work" is the only reason you have what little foot traffic you're getting." She snickered to herself and she earned a couple laughs in the audience.
"I mean, you practically run a fucking soup kitchen. Not one wants redemption, honey, you're giving away free beds and meals. Let's face the facts, Chastity-"
"It's Charlie-"
"Whatever. Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't quit already. But I guess I also expected as much. You're still the same naïve little girl pushing her doomed-to-fail plan on demons who truly and honestly don't give a fuck."
The whole room is laughing now. I clenched my clipboard and could practically feel the heat radiating off of Vaggie. I put a reassuring arm on her shoulder and she looked at me with pleading eyes, as if asking for permission to involve herself. I shook my head.
'We prepared for this,' I reminded her. 'Don't lose hope. Believe in her.'
Silence eventually filled the room, and I looked back at Charlie. I could tell she was struggling to keep her cool. Sweet as she was, she had a short temper, but I trusted in her ability to regulate herself. She hasn't failed us yet and I knew she wouldn't fail us now. She'd kill Katie's joy in her own way; with kindness.
"Katie," she started slowly. "Do you ever get tired of hating yourself?"
The question was a bit unexpected, surprising even me. We didn't rehearse this and it even seemed to stun Katie for a moment before she laughed it off.
"What reason do I have to hate myself when I'm this successful? Only one of us is digging for scraps-"
"Success means nothing if you've lost sight of your humanity along the way. You may have wealth and fame, but what else? You're bitter and contemptuous, revealing more about your own insecurities than any shortcomings of mine. If you're trying to make me look bad for caring about my people, for wanting the best for them, then what does that make you?"
Charlie's response was calm, her voice steady despite the tension crackling in the air. Katie's façade wavered for a moment, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her features before she regained her composure. "I'm not here to play your little mind games. I'm here to ask the tough questions that "your people" deserve answers to."
"And I'm not here to have my time wasted." Charlie's smile remained unwavering, her eyes reflecting a quiet determination. "So I'd appreciate it if you'd quit running your mouth and ask your next poorly constructed question."
The tension in the room seemed to escalate with each passing moment, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. As the interview continued, I couldn't help but admire Charlie's resilience in the face of adversity. She was a true leader, unafraid to stand up for what she believed in, even when faced with hostility and doubt. And as long as she remained steadfast in her convictions, I knew that nothing could shake the foundation we had built together.
"How do we know this all isn't just some PR stunt to gain publicity?"
"My goodness, you're terrible at this," Charlie groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. She took a deep breath, then looked away from her and straight to the camera. "I'm done talking to brick walls."
She was off the rails now, standing from her chair and facing the camera. "Look, I'm not here to lie to anyone. I have no reason to. I'm new to this program just as much as my guests are, but we're figuring it out together. They believe in me, in our mission, and in doing so, believe in themselves and the hope of one day being completely free of the Angel's senseless exterminations. You all deserve way more than to spend your afterlives suffering just to be killed a second time. And clearly I must be on the right path if I managed to convince the High Seraphim to pause exterminations for the next two and a half years.
"I know this won't reach the ears of everyone. I can't control whether people choose themselves or not. The truth is, redemption isn't always easy to see. It's not about flashy headlines or public interviews or having a shiny new halo above your head. It's about the transformation that happens within a person's soul, and sometimes, that transformation is subtle and personal. It's about the quiet moments of growth, the small victories that go unnoticed. And while most may choose to dwell in skepticism, I choose to believe in the power of change. The Hazbin Hotel was never about playing savior—it's about offering hope to those who've lost their way. I can't afford to give up on any of you, and I don't want to. I know I won't be able to save everyone, but our days are numbered. When that time on the clocktower runs out, our survival as realm will depend entirely on if the Hazbin Hotel was a recurring success. And I know it will be, because if it's already happened once, it can happen again. I will prove as much in due time. So… To those of you that dare to dream like us, don't be afraid. When you're ready, we'll be waiting for you."
She is about to walk off the stage to us, but Katie stops her, roughly grabbing her arm. "Not so fast, bitch! I still have-"
"I don't care, Katie," Charlie says sharply. She rips her hand away and glares at her with red eyes. Horns are growing above her hair and her hair has fallen loose around her shoulders. True force to be reckoned with, a real statement if I ever saw one. She's done a lot of growing to get to this point. "This is the last time you will see me here. Anything more you want to know about us, buy a paper from Pandemonium. You may lie as much as you like, otherwise."
"How dare you! You can't just end this whenever you wan-"
"Actually, I can." She's not even letting her breathe. I love this side of Charlie. "And by the way, thank you for sharing your platform with us, Katie. It feels good to know you were always wrong about me."
I caught Vaggie grinning at Charlie like a mad woman as she walked up to us. At the end of the day, the interview did exactly what we needed it to. It wasn't a disaster, it was honest and it promoted both the hotel and Pandemonium Press. Any honest news anyone hoped to get out of the hotel, they'd have to get it through Peter's newspapers or directly from the source. Whatever bullshit Katie would lie about on 666 News will be revealed as such, as long as we stayed true to our work.
We left the building together and once we were back in the comfort of our limo, Charlie let out a fat sigh, letting her own façade finally drop. "How did I do," she asked, her voice tinged with uncertainty.
'So badass,' I signed. 'Tore the bitch apart, as I hoped you would.'
"Yeah babe! I knocked it outta the park," Vaggie added, equally enthusiastic as I was. "I knew you could do it!"
"Are you sure? I feel like I really screwed up," she groaned. "I lost my cool. She's such a bitch."
'Charlie, you were awesome,' I reassured. 'Now we get to go home and celebrate. And as soon as we hit 50 residents? We're having a big block party parade.'
"We are," the girls asked in unison. I nodded excitedly.
We brainstormed during the car ride, popping champagne and laughing at inside jokes as we made our way back to the hotel. A parade was the perfect set up, our biggest, most inclusive celebration that was certain to have the town talking. A total act of rebellion, yet a peaceful protest directed at Heaven for all the lives they've taken. The loudest message imaginable, that we will fight to survive by means of this program, no matter what it may cost us. It would attract hellborns, sinners and overlords alike, erasing the option to ignore it even if they wanted to. Maybe I was in over my head with all these ideas, but it would equally benefit both Charlie and myself. Especially myself.
In the end, Charlie's courage and determination during the interview had ignited a fire within all of us, reminding us of the importance of standing up for what we believe in. As we stepped out of the limo and into the gentle chaos of the lobby, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride knowing that I was part of something bigger than myself. The road ahead might be uncertain, but one thing was clear: with Charlie leading the way, the Hazbin Hotel was destined for greatness.
Cheers and songs of camaraderie rumbled beneath my feet as I tended to the Venus Helltraps on the roof. We had a greenhouse installed here, a request from the turtle demon, Hank, as gardening was a calming hobby for him that he enjoyed. It seemed fitting for someone of his age, but as I spent more time with him and his granddaughter, I saw the beauty in what I initially thought was a boring practice. The faint glow of the crimson sky casted soft shadows across the vibrant foliage through the glass roof. Amidst the verdant oasis, I found myself enveloped in a quiet solitude, the gentle rustle of plants and the pour of water from a metal can serving as a soothing backdrop to the sea thoughts swimming in my mind.
For as long as I can remember, I believed that I would be nothing more than a liability to others. I am a crossbreed between two of the lowest demons in the hierarchy, and I was duly punished for my existence. To be a Siren or an Imp is one thing, but to have the nerve to be both? Disgraceful. Beautiful as we sirens were, it is our innate lack of control, monstrous appetite and unpredictability which makes us a force to be reckoned with. Resourceful as we Imps were, it was our lack of power, little regard for authority and unruly behavior that earned our disrespect. And for a while, I internalized these feelings, until I was given to my prince. My darling Sevi, he was the first man to love me in all my wretched glory. The first to show me true kindness, the first to convince me that I was more than what this awful place demanded I be.
Like these plants, I have also done my fair share of growing. Now, as I continue to settle in this new freedom, I have come to accept that I have always been defiant by nature. I exist to make this world squirm and seize in the palm of my blood stained hands. I, too, can have power, respect, and freedom. True freedom, unbound by the chains of my deal. I wouldn't have to run or hide anymore. And maybe then, I will no longer drool upon hearing the word "salvation". But with each step I take, each fleeting moment of solace I find in the company of those who believe in me, the question eats me alive: How long will it be before I lose it all?
"I was wondering where you ran off too."
Hearing Charlie's voice was like music to my ears. My eyes landed on her and she marveled at the plants within the garden, eyes full of child-like wonder.
"So this is you and Hank's little hiding spot, huh? You both have done beautiful work here. Everything looks so well taken care of," she complimented. I smiled at her and nodded my thanks. I'm just as surprised as she was. I never thought of myself as the nurturing type.
She looks at me, hands folded behind her back and head tilted curiously. "Not in the mood to party today?"
I shrug and put the metal watering can down on a nearby table. 'Not really. I have a lot on my mind.'
Charlie's gaze softened, understanding flickering in her eyes as she approached me. "Want to talk about it?"
I hesitated, unsure if I was ready to bear another fragment of my twisted spirit to her. Rarely do I ever regret my killings, as I always justified it as a necessary evil to sustain myself. It's why I thank my victims for their unknowing sacrifice. But when I thought of Charlie, her mission, the hotel, it was hard to feel as though I truly belonged or if I was just fooling myself. She deserved the truth, but I was scared of what she'd think of me if I told her anything. As much as she believed in second chances, I wasn't sure if this was something she could support me with.
'It's just...,' I began signing, searching for the right words to express the turmoil swirling inside me.
Charlie waited patiently. Something in the way she looked at me, with genuine concern and empathy, made me feel safe enough to at least tell her at least half of the truth.
'I've been thinking a lot about redemption lately,' I admitted. 'About whether I deserve it, whether I'm capable of it.'
Her hands move from behind her back, instinctively moving to touch me, but she stops. I know she only wants to comfort me. When I don't give her permission, she keeps her hands to her sides, respecting my boundaries.
"Thorne… redemption isn't about deserving or being capable," she said softly. "It's about recognizing your mistakes, taking responsibility for them, and striving to be better. And from what I've seen, you're already on that path."
I swallowed hard, the weight of her words sinking in. 'But I've done terrible things. Awful, terrible things and barely do I feel any remorse for it. What if I'm too far gone? What if I can't change?'
'What if I don't want to,' is what I don't say.
"You're not alone in this journey, Thorne. We're all here to help and support you. And as long as you keep trying, keep fighting, there's always hope."
Her words echoed in the quiet space between us. I want to believe in her, because she believes in me, but what good is any of that if I don't believe in myself?
'But… What if I can't even do it? I'm not… like them.' I look away from her and out to the city, past the glass house of greenery. 'I'm not like you.'
I know it's vague, but it's hard to admit it with total clarity. If I say, then it makes it true. And I desperately didn't want it to be true.
"I know."
Confusion hits me like a wave in a bad storm. I look back at her with wide eyes, shocked by her response. 'You know?'
"Of course, I know. I knew from the beginning you were like me." Her smile remains ever so soft, and right now, she is like a warm light shining on all my impurities. My eyes sting with tears and the moths fluttering in my belly rises to my throat. She knew I was a hellborn all this time?
'But how?'
"It's a hierarchy thing," she said, laughing sheepishly. "Alastor knows, too."
'Sneaky bitch,' I thought to myself. I wondered for a moment if that's what he meant before we kicked each other's asses in the training room all those months ago. To think that we'd be so cordial with each other now. Well, by demon standards, anyway.
'So that's it then,' I signed slowly, my entire body now shaking. I sighed and took a seat on a nearby stool. I knew it. I always knew it, I was just too stubborn to believe it. Gus was right about me, after all.
"What's it then, Thorne," Charlie asked. She crouched in front of me, looking up into my eyes with a curious expression. "You're not giving up on me, are you?"
The question stumped me. I'd never leave this place, not now. Not when I had so much going for me. But my hope for redemption was unobtainable, which sucked real bad to come to terms with, because I really, really hated it here.
'I'm still with you,' I reassured her. 'But I can't help but wonder if there's a point to the good I've been doing. There's nothing in it for me any-' Then I paused, realizing how that may be poorly translated. But she's still smiling. She still sees me. All of me.
'I'm sorry I lied to you,' I told her, the salt from my now fallen tears seeping into the folds of my sealed lips. 'I just hate this place so much. I don't want to be stuck here. I hate it here.'
"I know, Thorne." She holds out an open palm to me and this time, I take it. I need it. And the firm grip she has on me feels stabilizing.
"Maybe you won't get to claim your spot in Heaven like you wanted," she starts softly, "But if it's any consolation, you don't need a shiny halo to prove you've redeemed yourself. I know it can hurt to let go of a dream. But real redemption isn't where you end up. It's who you choose to be as you continue to move forward. Remember what you told me what you were fighting for?"
I hiccupped a sob. 'To be good,' I answered, simultaneously reminding myself.
"And guess what? You're already that and much more. And I'm sorry I haven't said this sooner, but I am so proud of you." She took my apron and wiped my tears away, but it was pointless. I had to force myself to calm down, the pain of my threads pulling with every sob now beginning to frustrate me.
"You've come a long way, and you've already made a difference here, whether you realize it or not," she continued, "Even if you can't see it right now, your efforts haven't been in vain. You've touched lives, including mine, in ways you may not fully grasp yet."
'You won't kick me out then,' I asked.
"I wouldn't dream of it."
I feel a weight off my shoulders upon hearing that. With a flick of her wrist, a box of tissues appears in her free hand and I take them. I can barely breathe with all the snot in my nose. Charlie finally lets me go so I can clean myself up. When I'm done, I stand and bow, showing my thanks for all her support. She will keep me safe. I know she will. I can trust that much of my princess.
"Come on." I hear the smile in her command as she walks off. "Let's take a walk and clear our heads."
As I follow Charlie out of the greenhouse, a sense of clarity begins to wash over me. Despite all my doubts and fears, I felt anything was possible, so long as Charlie still believed in me. With each step we take together, I feel lighter and lighter and a new feeling of liberation relieves me of my burdens. I may not have all the answers or know what lies ahead, but I was determined to keep moving forward, one step at a time. I may not make it to heaven, but I can still help those who will eventually. Whatever uncertainty I felt before, it was replaced by a new sense of possibility and purpose.
With a grateful smile, I glanced at Her Beautiful Majesty, silently thanking her for being a guiding light in the darkness of Hell. Whatever challenges may come our way, I know we'll face them together, united in their quest for a brighter future.
Author's note:
Hey everyone! I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of you who have been reading, following/favoriting, and overall enjoying my story. Your support means the world to me, and it's what keeps me motivated to continue writing.
If you've been enjoying the story, I would be incredibly grateful if you could take a moment to leave a review. Your feedback is incredibly valuable to me, and it helps me gauge whether my story is resonating with you all and where I can improve.
Additionally, if you're interested in seeing some art of Thorne (though I don't post very often), you can follow my Tumblr local-alien-51 or my Instagram localalien_51.
Thank you once again for your support and encouragement! It truly means the world to me.
Take care!