Be on the Same Page
"Ok let's run through the story one more time just to be sure," Zatanna started.
"Right. You were reading in your room. I was nowhere near the cave. I was in the Batcave working on my equipment."
"Exactly, and…Dick, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm rubbing a smushed banana on his shoe."
"Alright, let's try again. Why the hell are you rubbing bananas on his shoe?"
"Y'know, you should probably tone down on the cursing now that your Catholic father is out and about."
"Dick, just fucking tell me what you are doing."
"Well, he slipped on a stray banana, hence his head injury. Leaving some evidence will solidify the story a bit."
"…Oh my god, hungover you is incredibly stupid."
"It's only weird if it doesn't work"
"Dick, please. This is serious! Your life may be in literal danger!"
"Zee, I'm a professional detective. I know a thing or two about crime scenes."
"Uhhhhh"
"Shit shit ok ok, go Dick, go!"
Dick raced out of the cave while Giovanni finally stirred.
"Oh my head. Zatanna? What happened? Are you alright?"
"Hi, Daddy. How are you feeling?"
"My head is killing me. I feel like the demons of hell tap-danced on my head."
"Here, have some ice."
"Thank you, Piccola. Although, I could have sworn I saw Richard around here."
"Oh no, Daddy. He's not even at the cave. I haven't seen him all day."
"But last night was your graduation party with your friends, was it not?"
"Well, yes, but we all dispersed afterwards. Dick has been home, and he hasn't come in yet."
"Really? Don't get me wrong, Piccola, but I could have sworn I saw you and him in a….compromising position."
"Oh Daddy, please. You must be seeing things. I think the fall has your brain all wacky right now."
"Uhh yes that must be it. How did I fall exactly?"
"Oh! You uhhhh slipped on a banana!" (I swear to God, Dick….)
"Really? That can't be right."
As Zatara sat up, his shoe stepped on something mushy.
"Huh? Oh, is this the banana I slipped on? Well then, I guess you are right, Piccola. I really did slip. You kids need to clean up after yourselves better."
"Haha you know us. We're just little rascals." (I cannot believe he actually fucking bought that…)
"I have something for you, dear. Here"
Zatara pulled out a white box from his pocket and handed it to his daughter.
"Dad! What is this? You shouldn't have."
"It's not every day a father gets to see his child graduate high school and prepare for the outside world. Open it!"
Zatanna opened the box and found a silver chain with a pendant in the shape of the letter Z.
"Oh Daddy, it's beautiful! But this must have cost so much! You shouldn't have."
"I'd pay a fortune for you, Zatanna. It's alright. I only wish I got something prettier for you. I'm sure Richard must shower you with jewels and whatnot."
Zatanna got up to hug her father tightly with tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Haha actually, he's been very down to Earth with his gifts. He's really a very simplistic guy. The most expensive thing he bought me were custom embroidered gloves and that was back when he was trying to impress me."
"Haha. Either way, I'm happy you've remained my humble little girl. Richard has told me all about your accomplishments both as a hero and a teenage girl."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"He hasn't told you? Oh, Piccola, for three years, Richard constantly met with Nabu. Almost weekly, he would sit down with Nabu begging for my release. Through Richard, I've able to learn all about your life these past few years. Your high marks as a student. Your mastery of spells. Your near single-handed victory against the Queen of Fables. How you've grown from a little girl to a young lady. Richard has told me everything through Nabu. Even your…experiences with him."
"Oh. Uh I see," Zatanna could only blush at that last comment.
"In fact, it was Richard who secured my release."
"What?"
"Finally, after three years of constant badgering, and quite frankly really skillful chess playing, Richard broke Nabu down and granted me some time away from the helm."
"No…he did?"
"Well, there are certain conditions. Nabu has given me extended time today and tomorrow to spend time with you and witness your graduation. But at midnight tomorrow, I'm afraid I must return to duty."
"Oh Daddy, that's amazing! But what about after?"
"Afterwards, Nabu has agreed for us to meet in person once per year for one hour."
"What? But that's not….that's not nearly enough!"
"I know, honey, I know. But that's all Nabu was willing to give. Believe me, Richard fought hard for more. However, getting this far in three years is plenty progress. I'm just happy I get to see my little girl with my own eyes."
"Oh Daddy. I missed you so much. I guess I should be grateful for any time given to us."
"I for one am eternally grateful, my little Zebra."
To celebrate both Dick and Zatanna's graduation along with Giovanni's temporary leave from the helm, Bruce held a huge feast at Wayne Manor for the Zataras.
"Bruce, my friend. This is more than generous. You did not need to work Alfred to the bone like this."
"Giovanni, it's alright. Alfred didn't make this feast entirely by himself. Dick and Diana helped as well. I would have helped, but I was not allowed within ten feet of the kitchen."
"Yes, it's true. Master Bruce has a peculiar habit of causing things to spontaneously combust. While often useful as the caped crusader, it is not a talent worth mentioning in the kitchen."
"Either way, I must pay my compliments to you Sir Alfred, to you Miss Diana, and most certainly, you Richard."
"We are just so happy to have you here, Giovanni. Even for a short period of time."
"I am ecstatic to be here, Diana. I only wish I was released a little sooner to collect my earnings."
Diana raised an eyebrow in confusion while Bruce facepalmed. Dick had an idea of what Giovanni was referring to, so he snickered. Alfred smirked while Zatanna rolled her eyes.
"Earnings? Are you talking about royalties from your show?"
"No, Diana. I'm talking about the league-wide betting pool regarding your relationship with Bruce."
Diana's eyes widened immensely. She looked back and forth between Giovanni and Bruce. Switching from a questioning gaze to a look of confusion.
"A betting pool?"
"Yes. I believe it was dubbed the Wonderbat pool."
"And you knew about this?" Diana asked Bruce
"I'm Batman"
She glared at him. Taken aback, Bruce quickly tried to save his skin.
"But I didn't learn of it until after we got together. Ahem. I'm going to get a drink."
Bruce got up and escaped from a clearly upset Amazon. He had a feeling he'd be sleeping on the couch tonight.
"So, Giovanni, I guess the question must be asked. When was your bet?"
"Well, I believe it was winter three years ago. I would have been the closest. The league had agreed to transfer the winnings to Nabu, but that old coot turned the money down. He claimed he had no need of such frivolous materials. Sadly, the winnings went to the runner up."
"Which was…."
"Sigh….J'onn."
"Wait? Even J'onn was in on this? How many people were betting?"
"Pretty much the entire league. Hal, Oliver, Barry, Shayera. Hell when we inducted Icon and Plastic man, they threw their hats in the ring too."
"How much was the pot?"
"Fifteen thousand dollars."
"Fifteen thousand what?! Even Kal? There's no way Superman threw in that much money on a reporter's salary."
"You're right he didn't have that much money."
"Oh thank Hera."
"Which is why he and Lois bet on the same card."
"LOIS KNEW TOO!?"
"Diana, please. The sexual tension between you two was so obvious. The only reason why Richard and Zatanna didn't bet was because they were too young, and we kept the pool strictly league members only."
"I must agree with Master Giovanni. The children were far too young to partake in this sort of gambling. Such practice is so uncivilized."
"Oh shut it, Alfred. You're just upset you didn't win. I can't believe your prediction was so off considering you have inside information."
"ALFRED!? But I thought it was league members only?" cried Diana.
"Diana, let's be honest. The whole league would shut down without Alfred."
"It is precisely because of my inside information that I made a completely false wager. It would be un-gentlemanly of me to win via inside information. People have gone to jail gambling in such a manner. Besides, Master J'onn split his earnings with me afterwards."
"You incredulous bastard!"
At this point Dick and Zatanna couldn't contain their laughter and just burst out cackling. It was nice to see their teammates weren't the only ones betting on their relationship. Apparently, the league can be just as childish as them.
After dinner, Dick was about to meet Zee on the balcony while holding a little box with airholes poked in the lid. Zatara stopped him for a second.
"Richard?"
"Hi, Mr. Zatara!"
"Richard, Zatara is fine. Or Giovanni if you prefer."
"Uh ok."
"Richard, allow me to express my deepest gratitude. Without your persistence, I may never have seen the light of day again."
"It's no problem at all. I know how much you mean to Zatanna, so by immediate proxy, you're important to me too. I'm sorry I couldn't get more time though. Nabu's pretty stubborn."
"You've done more than enough my dear boy. This is plenty. One day at a time. Eventually we can come to an acceptable arrangement with Nabu. Until then, I happily leave my Zebra in your capable hands."
Zatara extended his hand to shake Dick's. When Dick took it, Zatara pulled him in close to whisper in his ear.
"Zatanna may think she has me fooled, but I know what I saw. If you hurt her, or get her pregnant, Nabu will not hesitate to castrate you and send you down a bottomless pit in another plane of existence. Are we clear?"
"Yes sir! Absolutely sir!"
"Good! Now then, I must retire to my room. Tomorrow is a big day for the both of you. I'm sure you and Zatanna will retire to separate rooms, correct?"
"Yes sir! Absolutely sir!"
"Best wishes, Richard."
Dick was clearly shook, but Zatara put a hand on his shoulder to ease the tension a bit.
"Relax, dear boy. I'm simply playing my role as the overprotective father. While my threat is absolutely true and will happen if you break my conditions, I understand that Zatanna gave you my Roman coin. It is our family's most sacred form of trust. If Zatanna trusts you, I trust you. You have nothing to fear…until you get her pregnant."
As Zatara left for his room, Dick stood still. After shaking off the fear Zatara put in him, he made his way toward the balcony where his lovely girlfriend waited for him.
"You're a little late," she admonished.
"Sorry! Your dad and I had a little chat."
"Oh no! Did he give you the talk! Ugh he can be so nosy!"
"No no it's fine. He just wanted to make sure you were in good hands is all."
"Ok. Well, I'm glad he approves of us. But even if he didn't, I'd still fight to be with you."
"Same. I'd move heaven and earth to be with you."
"I'd kiss you, but uh it's kinda difficult with this box you've got there."
"Haha right. Here!"
"What is it?"
"My graduation gift to you! Part two!"
Zatanna opened the box and peeked inside. She couldn't help but squeal at the little fluffball inside. Quickly she picked it up and held her present high in the sky to look at it in the moonlight.
"Hi little cutie! Oh my gosh you're so fluffy!"
In Zatanna's hand was a tiny little bunny with short ears, a button nose, and the cutest set of beady eyes.
"Oh Dickie he's so cute! Oh my gosh look at his wittle wet nose!"
"Haha he honestly was a little tricky to get. I had to make a deal with Madam Xanadu."
"What? I mean he's just a bunny, right?"
"Well, yes and no. He is indeed a regular bunny, but Madam Xanadu performed a slow aging spell. He'll stay small for a little longer, but his lifespan was increased drastically compared to that of a regular bunny."
"So that means…."
"Yup, this little guy is gonna live for a long while."
"Oh Dick, this is so great! He's soooo cute. I'm gonna name him hmmmm Pocus!"
"Haha that's perfect. I figured since I'm going away, you'd like a little company. I'm guessing it'd get weird talking to yourself via my plushie so, Pocus here was the next tier up."
"Ohh he's soo adorable. Just like his father."
"Zee hehe. I mean. It doesn't have to be like that," Dick answered with cheek flaring.
"Of course it does! We're dating and now, we share a pet! I love Ace, but he's more Bruce and Diana's dog. Well, Bruce, Diana, and Alfred. Now, Pocus is our little one."
"Sounds perfect, Zee."
Zatanna's glee calmed down a bit and she got a little somber. She cradled Pocus and looked off into the night sky.
"It's really happening, isn't it? You going away."
"Yea."
Dick moved to hug her from behind and rested his head on her shoulder.
"We're going to talk every day, right?"
"Of course, Zee. Every single day."
"You're gonna tell me about your professors? And new friends?"
"I'm going to tell you the exact temperature I set my thermostat to."
"And you're gonna tell me about all your new projects, and the new foods you'll try. I….I want a full report ranking all the clam chowders you've tasted. When I visit, I want you to take me to the best clam chowder restaurant ever. I don't want the cheap shitty kind. You need to filter everything out."
"Zee, you'll know everything. I promise. I'm just a Zeta tube away."
"…..I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you more"
She turned around to give him a light kiss smushing Pocus a little.
"Let's go to bed, we're graduating tomorrow!"
"Sounds great, Zee."
Zatanna placed little Pocus in the comfy pillow bed Dick prepared for him. As Zatanna changed into one of Dick's t-shirts, he began to get a little nervous.
"Hey uh, Zee? Please don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you should actually sleep in your room tonight?"
"Huh? Why?"
"Well I mean…your dad's here. I don't want to make things awkward with him."
Zatanna smirked and sauntered her mostly bare ass towards him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted her leg for him to catch.
"Baby, I haven't used my 'guest room' ever since I stepped foot in this manor. I've always been sleeping here with you. Just because my father is down the hall does not mean I plan on sleeping anywhere else except on your lovely soft chest. Kay?"
"Uhhh ok. But you gotta back me up if he plans to castrate me."
"Of course. He'll have to go through me. I have too much fun with your er…. friend to ever let it go."
"Is that all I'm good for haha?"
"Absolutely."
Finally, they snuggled into bed ready for peaceful slumber. Even little Pocus began to lightly snore in his newfound home.
"Say, Dick?"
"Yea?"
"What was the agreement you made with Xanadu anyway?"
"Oh. We agreed to watch LSU football together when the season starts."
"…Really? That's it?"
"Yea. Pretty much."
"Actually, I've been meaning to ask. Why are you an LSU fan? You literally have no ties to the school."
"Well, after I saved you from Circe's spell, I went back thank Madam Xanadu. She was watching old LSU highlights and invited me to sit and watch with her. I guess I kinda got hooked on the team since."
"That explains the sudden influx of LSU t-shirts."
"I wouldn't know. You wear all of them."
"Hey! They're comfy!"
"But yea. That was the deal. I have to Zeta to New Orleans and watch games with her. It's a pretty equivalent exchange in my opinion. I get a magic bunny for you. She gets a football watching buddy."
"Haha sounds fair. I might join you two on occasion then."
"That'd be nice. More people mean more crawfish."
"Haha you'll have to teach me how to eat them."
"I'll teach you anything and everything."
"Hehe. I'd like that. I'd do anything with you, Dick. I love you."
"Say it backwards."
"Haha. I evol uoy, Kcid. Xuaeg sregit." (I love you, Dick. Geaux Tigers)
AN: Thanks to A045, Lover of Romance246, 4shur4, and SH for always encouraging me and giving me great ideas for this fic. If you want to come hang out with other Chalant fans, check out our Chalant Discord server at /Mzd5ABNSz9