Be Resourceful
"Welcome back to Late Night with David Endocrine. My next guest has wowed the entire city of Gotham and perhaps even the entire state with her fabulous magic show at the Gotham Theater. But this isn't any ordinary magic show with card tricks and bunny rabbits. She's done incredible feats that have baffled even the most devout students of illusion. Some even say she has real mystical powers. Please welcome the Mistress of Magic herself, Zatanna Zatara!"
*APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE*
With a poof of smoke, Zatanna appeared on stage. For her first ever late-night show appearance, she opted for a more formal look. She still kept the top hat and white bowtie but added a purple vest to her dress shirt and went back to a black tailcoat. Obviously, the fishnets stayed but she traded in the boots for heels. Lastly, as always, she still wore the ivory and gold gloves Dick got her for her fifteenth birthday. The outfit was a little stiff and she preferred her usual blue getup, but Aly and Edith convinced her to make the optics look good. Dick was useless because he'd love her in a potato sack.
"Hi everybody! Thank you so much for having me! It is such an honor to be here. David, for this first trick would you mind coming up here as a volunteer?" she gestured.
"Ok no problem!"
David stepped up onto the stage as Zatanna pulled out a deck of cards.
"Now I know you just said I don't do ordinary card tricks, buuut I'm gonna start with one anyway. David, would you please pick a card? Remember don't show it to me!"
Closing her eyes, she presented David with a fanned-out deck of cards. Carefully he thumbed the deck before making his selection.
"Now show the audience your card."
The camera panned around to see that David had pulled out a six of diamonds.
"Alright cool, now lemme see," she said as she snatched the card from his hand, "Oooh six of diamonds. Y'know, diamonds are a girl's best friend, David."
"Wait, but you've seen the card. Now what?"
"Oh, darn you're right. I've ruined the illusion. Well, I guess you'll have to sign it to make it more meaningful."
"I must say," he teased, "this is a really elaborate way to get my autograph."
The crowd chuckled at this back-and-forth banter as David signed the card. He showed it to the camera and then put the card back into Zatanna's deck. She shuffled it and shuffled again.
"Now David, can you confirm I've got nothing up my sleeve?" she asked rolling up her sleeves.
"I can confirm that you have nothing up your sleeves."
"Perfect, now, your one-of-a-kind card that you signed will magically float to the top."
She held out the deck in one hand and waved the other above the deck. Slowly a single card levitated upwards. The crowd ooo'd and ahhh'd at the fancy spectacle. When the card reached her awaiting hand, she flipped it between her fingers and showed it to the camera.
"And voila, here is your card good, sir," she declared holding out a queen of spades.
Confused and slightly bored faces peppered the audience as David awkwardly looked at the card.
"Uhh, Zatanna, that's not my card."
"Huh? Oh drat. You're right. I guess this deck is defective. Definitely not my fault whatsoever hehe. Welp, it's time to retire it."
She placed the card back into the deck and snapped her fingers. Immediately, the deck burst into flames and just little bits of ashes were left in her hand.
"What the!" David cried.
"Relaxed David. Just getting rid of some faulty equipment that's all," she smiled, "I guess we'll move onto the next trick. I'm gonna pull a rabbit out of my hat!"
"Really Zatanna? Are you out here to just contradict everything I say?" he joked.
"Ahh patience patience, David. As I tell my audience at my shows, a lot of things can go wrong with this trick."
She reached into her top hat and "rummaged" around a bit.
"Aha! Gotcha!" she said pulling out a little kitten, "Huh? You're not a rabbit."
She put the kitten down and tried again.
"C'mon c'mon I know you're in there."
She pulled her arm out again released a flock of doves into the studio.
"Haha do you have an entire zoo in there, Zatanna?" David quipped.
"The hat's bigger on the inside David. Is it magic or fancy British engineering?"
She reached in again and this time pulled out a wallet.
"Huh? How'd that get in there," she asked as she opened it, "Oh! Here David. This is probably important."
"What?" he asked while feeling his pocket, "Oh my God, you pickpocketed me on national television!"
"Oops. Alright, this is the pull. I can feel it."
She reached into her hat one last time and finally pulled out Pocus the bunny.
"There you are! Oh, look at you! You're so precious!" she cooed kissing his forehead.
"Well would you look at that! You finally got the bunny. Hang on, what's he holding in his mouth?"
"I'm glad you asked, David. Why don't you take it and show the world?"
David took what looked like a folded playing card from Pocus's mouth. He opened it up and was left speechless. After a few moments of getting over the initial shock, he turned the card around to the camera to show a six of diamonds with his signature on it clear as day.
"Holy BLEEP, Zatanna. That is incredible!"
The crowd erupted with cheers and applause at the fantastic trick she just pulled off. People in the first few rows actually stood up giving her a standing ovation. Blushing she couldn't help but wave and bow to the crowd. She even wiggled Pocus's paw.
"Come sit down! I have to interview you. This is wild!" David said as he guided her over to the desk and chairs. She sat down and cradled Pocus onto her lap while David settled behind the desk.
"My God, that trick was absolutely insane. I had no idea what was going to happen, and you just dazzled. You're charming. You're funny. You are simply amazing. Please give it up one more time for Zatanna Zatara everybody!"
*WOOOHOOOOO*
When the excitement calmed down, David began his interview.
"So, tell us about yourself Zatanna. How did you get started in this business."
"Well, my father was a popular stage magician as well. He would take me around on his shows and even let me perform sometimes. He really taught me everything I know."
"And your father is Giovanni Zatara is that right?"
"Yes, that is correct."
"Boy I tell ya, I've been to a few of Giovanni's shows. He was amazing, but what you did here tonight blew all his acts out of the water. Incredible!"
"Aww thanks, David."
"How is the old man anyway? I hear he retired rather abruptly."
Zatanna immediately tensed up at this question. She paused as her throat went dry. Her father was such a touchy subject to her. Was she supposed to tell the world that he was currently trapped under a magical helmet forced to serve as a Lord of Order? Quickly she scanned the crowd and found her favorite pair of blue eyes. The owner flashed a sincere smile and gave her a thumbs-up reassuring her that everything would be ok. Smiling, she regained her composure.
"Well, he ran into some health problems, and he felt that it was time to leave the stage. Despite being in showbiz, he's a rather private person, so once he left the spotlight, he does his best to stay out of it."
"I see. Well, my best regards to him and I hope he's doing well. But then what motivated you to follow in his footsteps and come back to the stage?"
"I've always wanted to be my own headliner and I felt that by doing these shows, I'm honoring the legacy that my father left for me. I was a little nervous at first, but I got such strong support from my friends, family, and especially my boyfriend."
"And is he here tonight? Your boyfriend."
"Yup, he's here right now. Dick, could you stand up please!"
Shyly one Dick Grayson stood up from his front-row seat. The cameras and spotlights turned to shine on him and give him his fifteen seconds of fame. Blushing he smiled and waved.
"Well now, you musta been a charmer. Dick Grayson is a notorious heartbreaker. How the hell did you bag him?"
"Honestly," she gazed softly at Dick, "he had me at hello."
*AWWWWW*
Before David could ask his next question, the power to the studio was suddenly cut. All the lights went out, but the cameras were still rolling.
"What the? Is this a blackout? Someone, get maintenance!" David cried.
"Bahahhahaahhahahahhhaahha."
A sinister and bone-chilling laugh filled the room. Everyone was silent frantically looking around for the source of this ominous cackle. Dick's eyes widened as the hairs on the back of his neck stiffened. A single spotlight then shone onto the stage revealing a man in a purple suit leaning on a cane with a girl in a red and black jester suit standing next to him. His wide-brimmed hat covered his face, but Dick knew immediately who the intruder was.
"Ladies and gentlemen. I am tonight's entertainment! Behold the Clown Prince of Crime, the Jester of Genocide, Gotham's most hated son, me! The Joker!" the menace smiled tipping his hat to the cameras.
On cue, the exit doors burst open with various goons in white face paint and overalls storming into the studio.
"Now, the situation is rather simple. You are all my hostages. And for my own magic trick, one by one I'll make someone in this studio disappear!" he declared pulling out a pistol from his coat.
"Luckily, I don't have to make anyone disappear. You see, ol' Mr. J has run into some financial trouble. Committing crimes and causing mayhem is an expensive endeavor. As such, I'd like to cash in my welfare check. Harley, if you'd please."
"Sure thing, boss!" Harley answered with an odd Jersey accent that made Dick pause for a second.
Haley pulled out a giant cue card with a phone number waving it around in front of the camera. Unfortunately, it was upside down.
"It's simple really, please call the-HARLEY FLIP THE CARD AROUND!"
"Huh? Oh, sorry Moonpie!" she answered rotating the card.
"Now then. Call the number on your screen to donate right now to the Joker fund. Minimum donation of one hundred dollars! Each donation will save a life in this studio. For every fifteen minutes, I'll perform my magic trick and make someone disappear."
He pointed his gun at an audience member in the front row.
"Observe."
"STOP!"
Just as he was about to pull the trigger, Zatanna stood up and called him out. Frustrated he turned towards the magician.
"Oh! You. Dickie boy's main squeeze," he grinned, "I must say, with legs like yours it's no wonder you've got him wrapped around your little finger."
He slicked his hair back and approached her. Glaring at him, she crossed her arms hoping to stand her ground.
"Y'know, I've kidnapped Dickie boy a few times. Real wuss. Always crying for Daddy Wayne. Actually, he's here isn't he! Why don't I make him tonight's first volunteer? Ohhh Dickie boy!"
Joker turned around to the front row but could not spot his target. Furiously he scanned the first row but there was no sight of Dick Grayson. Zatanna whispered something causing him to turn back around only to meet Zatanna's right hook.
*POW*
"Argg!" he cried taking a step back, "You're feisty. I like that."
"Then you're gonna love me!" a voice from above shouted.
"Huh?" Joker exclaimed looking up.
Nightwing swooped down and kicked Joker away from Zatanna. Holding his chin, Joker glared at the newcomer.
"And who the hell are you supposed to be?!"
"Hi. I'm Nightwing. Nice to meet ya."
"Nightwing? What kinda name is that? There's no flair, no jes ne se quoi. Where's Batman!?"
"He's busy. But I can take a message."
"Whatever. Boys! Get him!"
The goons all began crowding the stage. Nightwing pulled out a pair of escrima sticks and readied his stance.
"You're outnumbered dipshit. These are some pretty bad odds," one of the goons stated.
"Yea…..for you guys."
They all rushed and mobbed the Aerial Avenger. Living up to his aerial name, he jumped and flipped over the lot. Landing on a goon's face, he pushed off and got into a more open space on stage. Harley tried to catch him by surprise with her mallet but with a swift spinning kick, he knocked her out cold. Smirking, he waved at the goons to come towards him. They all began to rush him again but curiously many of them tripped over the rug that seemed to rise up and grab their ankles. With only four goons to fight, Nightwing made swift work of the thugs. A few kicks and hits from the sticks, all the thugs were unconscious.
"Bahahahahahha," Joker laughed as he jumped Nightwing by surprise.
"Ahhh!' Nightwing cried as Joker stabbed a knife in between one of the armor plates.
"Heheheheeh," Joker chuckled as he leaned close to whisper in Nightwing's ear, "I know who you are…Dickie boy. After all, he disappears from the first row, and you drop down from the ceiling? Child's play. Batsy taught you better than that."
Angered, Dick kneed Joker in the stomach pushing him off. As Joker flopped onto the stage, Nightwing pulled out the knife in his side.
"Hahaahah that's a real kick in the groin isn't it, Bird Boy?"
Laughing, Joker immediately got up and grabbed one of the camera operators. He held a knife to the poor civilian's neck causing everyone to pause.
"Ooooh looks like we're in a bit of a pickle aren't we. What's your name, buddy?"
"Uhhh James."
"Well then James! Jimmy! Nightwing here is either about to save you or leave you to die. All he has to is - "
*BLAM*
"OW!"
Someone had hit Joker from behind causing him to let go of James. As he fell to the floor, Joker looked up at his would-be attacker.
"YOU!? BUT BUT I THOUGHT…." he cried looking back and forth between Nightwing and….Dick Grayson.
"It's past your bedtime, clown," Dick said as he stomped Joker in the face knocking him out.
The cops arrived shortly after taking away the Joker goons and the Clown Prince himself. When he came to, Joker kept looking back and forth at Nightwing and Dick Grayson. Clear as day, they both were standing in the same room together. Giving up, he let the cops take him away. Nightwing stood by watching the clean-up but also pressing a hand to his side to slow the bleeding. He was about to leave before one of the detectives called him over.
"Say, Nightwing was it?"
"That's my name."
"Catchy. Do you work with Batman?"
"Occasionally, in the rare times he realizes he needs help."
"So almost never then?"
"It happens more often than you think."
"How did you know Joker was here?"
"I was in the neighborhood and caught the broadcast. Felt I needed to step in."
"Well, it's good that you did. You sticking around in Gotham?"
"Maybe. I'm more Bludhaven-based."
"I see. Either way, it's good to meet you. You're much friendlier than your boss," she said extending her hand.
"Thanks," he shook it, "and you are?"
"Yin. Detective Ellen Yin."
"Good to meet you, Detective Yin. And he's not my boss."
"Heh, tell that to Batgirl and Robin."
Detective Yin walked away to continue clean-up and get statements from the various audience members. One thing did bug Nightwing though.
"…..Robin?"
Back at their apartment, Dick and Zee sat on the couch with Zee trying her best to heal her boyfriend. Shirtless, Dick leaned on the couch cushion while Zee pressed her hand onto the wound. A light green glow emanated from her hands.
"Zee, you really don't have to do this. A few stitches and I'll be fine."
"Dick, this looks really deep. Let me help you."
"You helped me a lot tonight. After all, rugs don't just grab people's ankles," he smirked.
"I mean, they could have just tripped on their own," she slyly eyed him.
"Right. And I'm sure Dick Grayson just happened to reappear in the audience to knock Joker out."
"Maybe he went to the bathroom. A lot happened after all."
"Either way, you used a lot of magic there, even during your act. You should relax."
"Yea yea. This may scar though. I'm still not good enough to completely heal you."
"That's ok. Add another to the collection."
"I don't particularly like this collection," she stated as she traced some of the other scars on his body.
Feeling her distress, he pulled her into his lap and held her waist.
"Hey, I'm ok, aren't I?" he whispered.
"Well yea. But this could have been much worse. My family's coin was the only thing keeping you from bleeding out."
"Magic coin or not, I'm a fighter. You can't keep a Boy Wonder down."
"I'm sorry," she told him cupping his face, "I worry."
"And I worry about you too. You were brave when you stood up to Joker like that."
"I was only confident because I knew you were there…..and also because without the cameras I totally would have turned him into a fish."
"Haha fair point. Lay down. Let me help you relax."
He pushed her onto her stomach on the couch. From behind, he began massaging her shoulders trying to press out the tension in her back. They relaxed in the comforting silence as Dick pressed and squeezed her shoulders then moved lower onto her back.
"Dick, while I don't mind the silence, you're being awfully quiet. You're thinking about something. What is it?"
"Harley…"
"Harley? You're really thinking about another woman while I'm in my hot yoga pants?"
"Huh? No no not that. Didn't she seem different to you today?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Harley normally has a like an old Brooklyn accent. The one we met today had a thick Jersey girl style of speech."
"The one we met? What do you mean?"
"And she called Joker Moonpie. Pretty sure she had a different nickname for him."
"Wait, are you saying..."
Two Weeks Later
Another day, another shift at the diner. She much preferred the morning hours than the night ones, especially on the weekends. No one dared to get handsy or call her "sweet cheeks" in broad daylight. Granted, she'd break their hand if they tried anyway. The bell rang as new customers entered. She put up her blonde hair and tied her apron. Getting her notepad and pen, she approached the table ready to take the order. Sitting in the booth was a young couple. How cute. He wore a black jacket with blue lines running down the sleeves. She wore a purple dress tied at the waist by a matching belt. For some reason, despite being inside, they both wore dark sunglasses masking their eyes.
"Mornin' you two," she greeted, "Welcome to Krowny's Klub. What can I get cha?"
The pair gave each other knowing looks before turning back to their esteemed waitress.
"Not sure really. We're not from around here. We just drove up from Gotham," the guy started.
"Yea, nasty place. Have you heard of it?" the girl asked.
"Ehh I'm not too familiar. But boy you two sure drove quite a distance. Keystone City is drive alright," the waitress answered.
"Yea. Hey, did you hear, they caught that one dude again…uhhh what was his name, honey?" the guy asked.
"Hmmm uhhh Jester? Clowny? Hmmm," his date responded.
"Joker! That's the guy!" he realized.
The waitress stiffened at the name. Her eyes darted back and forth. Her hands shook slightly as she worried about who these two could be.
"Y'know. Joker kidnapped me once," the guy reminisced.
"O-oh. Is that so?" the waitress stuttered.
"Yea. Tied me up and hung me upside down over a tub of acid. I thought for sure I was a goner. Except…."
"Except?"
"His partner was the one who tied the knots. Some girl in a jester costume. And weirdly, she didn't tie the knots very tightly. They were so loose, I slipped out of them easily and escaped. I like to think that girl saved my life that night. Never got her name though. Got any ideas, honey?"
"Not too sure," the girl replied as she turned to the waitress, "Any thoughts on the story, Miss?"
Suddenly relaxing, the waitress smiled. The gears in her head turned as she realized exactly who was sitting in this booth. Despite looking like a ditzy blonde, she was far from stupid. She did have a doctorate in psychology after all.
"Well I'll be damned…..Boy freakin' Wonder."
"Nice to see you again…Harleen."