Be in the 99th Percentile

"Where is it? Dammit where is it? I know I put it out last night!"

Dick frantically scoured the bedroom hopping over various piles of clothes he pulled out. As he dug into the drawers, he scratched his head and jogged out the door frustrated.

"Zee! Have you seen my…." he paused to drink in the sight before him, "….lucky underwear?"

His girlfriend turned away from the stove purposefully whipping her hair around and shot him a pouty look with a wink. For once, Dick noticed, she was wearing her own purple t-shirt that actually fit her and showed off her midriff. However, Dick paid more attention to the familiar shorts she was wearing.

"Are you talking about your soft cotton boxers? The red one with Snoopy and a Christmas tree on the front?" she asked innocently, "Hmm can't say that I have."

"Well then, whatcha got there, Zee?" Dick asked eyeing the red shorts she was wearing.

"Oh, this old thing? I just found it in the closet. They're so soft and super breezy," she smirked slyly.

At this point, Dick had glided across the floor and stood mere inches away from Zatanna. To her credit, she didn't react to his swift approach carefully keeping one hand on the pan as the other continued stirring the scrambled eggs. He hugged her from behind slowly dragging his fingers across her bare belly. His thumbs hooked themselves onto the elastic band as his hands rested on either side of her hips.

"I see," he whispered, "So then, these don't have a Christmas tree with Snoopy and Woodstock on the front, right?"

"Hmmmm," she craned her neck up to kiss his jaw, "Take them off and find out…"

30 minutes and some burnt eggs later…

"Ok, Zee. How do I look?"

Dick emerged from the bedroom looking very….casual. He had on a pair of jeans, a blue polo shirt, and a navy hoodie. His hair was neat, and his bright shiny police badge hung from his neck. Zatanna looked up from her magazine and scrunched her face.

"Oh no. No no no no no! You cannot go in today looking like THIS!" she scolded.

"What? Why not?" he protested.

"Dick, you look like a slob! Where's your professionalism!?"

"Well, I mean, I'm a detective now. I don't have to dress up in uniform anymore. I can be a bit more casual."

"Nuh huh. No boyfriend of mine is going to work on his first day in a new precinct looking dumb like this. Come on, let's find you a suit," she ordered marching into their bedroom.

"A suit? C'mon Zee!"

"Quiet! You need to make a good first impression! Plus, you've got a new captain coming in. You have to get on his good side!" she said brushing right past him.

For the second time today, Dick could only marvel at his girlfriend although this time he wasn't quite sure what made her so beautiful. He leaned against the doorframe as Zatanna looked over every suit he had. Her shiny raven hair cascaded down her back as the sunlight from the window made it look as if she was glowing. Or maybe she was glowing because they had sex earlier instead of having breakfast? Either way, Dick couldn't help but smile at the sight before him. Something about Zatanna fussing over his attire and digging through the closet to find a better outfit for him felt right. Feeling his gaze on her, she suddenly felt like a thirteen-year-old girl again. Blushing, she brushed her hair behind her ear and could barely look him in the eye.

"W-what are you looking at?" she meekly asked.

"You."

"Hehe. Dick, you see me every day. There's nothing special right now."

"I disagree. You look so beautiful right now."

"Dick, I'm in a t-shirt and shorts looking through your closet."

"And that's what makes you so beautiful. I dunno maybe it's just how normal this feels. You fussing over what I wear to work and supporting me feels a little wifey? I just know that I'm falling in love all over again."

Zatanna's face burned bright red as her heart pounded in her chest. She felt his hands on her waist again as he turned her face towards his.

"I-I'm just, y'know, saving my own street cred," she stuttered, "Everyone knows you're dating Zatanna Zatara, the great stage magician. Can't have you ruining my good name with your lazy attire."

"Mmm-hmm," he smiled hugging her close and taking a whiff of her lavender hair.

"A-and besides, you'd support me just like I'd support you!"

"Always," he leaned into her neck kissing it.

"Ahhhhh, a-ash grey suit," she moaned.

"Hmmm?"

"A-ash grey suit, w-white shirt, b-blue striped tie!" she moaned again.

Quickly, she shoved the items into his chest and pushed him off her before things got too heated. He backed up looking a little confused but understood what she was going for.

"W-wear these. You'll look stunning," she panted.

"Of course. Thanks, Zee."

"Any time, baby."

Dick was about to turn and change when he suddenly had a glint of mischief in his eye. Catching her off-guard, he tossed the clothes to the side and pounced on Zatanna pining her to the bed.

"Wahh, Dick! We can't! You're gonna be late!" she cried out as he kissed her neck.

"Well then let's make this quick…"

Bludhaven Police 99th Precinct, 8:59 AM

A tall African American man briskly walked down the hall. His posture was straight and perfect. His hair was clean cut and pristine. Not a single wrinkle dared to appear on his clothes. He walked with strong authority as he tightly held his police hat to his side waiting for the elevator.

*DING*

He entered as the doors opened and pressed on the number four. Just as the doors closed, a hand reached in and stopped them. A tired a wheezing young man with short black hair hurriedly entered the elevator.

"Thanks! Almost didn't make it there," he greeted.

As the newcomer entered the elevator, he straightened out his ash grey suit and fixed the knot on his blue striped tie.

"Pft, is that a Windsor knot?" the older man gruffed.

"Huh? Uhh I think so. I'm not quite sure. My girlfriend helped tie it for me," the younger man replied.

"Amateur," the elder rolled his eyes.

It was then the younger man's turn to eye his elevator companion. The older gentleman clearly wore a police uniform given the dark navy coat and gold buttons. The crest of Bludhaven Police was shown proudly on the side of his shoulders. Finally, the stripes and large police badge gave away the man's identity.

"Ahh you must be the precinct's new captain," the younger man realized.

"Yes. I am."

"Detective Dick Grayson sir," Dick greeted extending his hand," It's my first day today as well."

The captain only eyed Dick's hand before looking back up at him. An awkward silence befell them as the captain only glared at Dick.

"It's your first day, and yet you have arrived late," the captain scolded.

"Uhh well. I mean, it only just turned nine, sir."

"Yes. And what time does shift start, Detective Grayson?"

"Nine AM, sir?"

"Exactly. To be on time is to be late. To be five minutes early is to be on time. Are we clear, Detective Grayson?"

"Sir, yes sir."

*DING*

The elevator arrived as the captain entered the bullpen. Dick staggered behind freaking out about his first impression with the captain. The pair were then greeted by a large incredibly muscular gentlemen wearing suspenders.

"Welcome, sir. I'm Sargent Terry Jeffords," he greeted extending his hands.

"Good morning, Jeffords. I'm Captain Raymond Holt," Raymond greeted back shaking Terry's hand.

"Hi to you too! You must be our new detective!" Terry smiled.

"Yup! Dick Grayson, at your service," Dick waved.

"Excellent. Well, why don't I show you both around in the bullpen. Sir, your office is right this way."

"Thank you, Sargent Jeffords," Captain Holt acknowledged.

As the trio made their way towards the captain's office, they overheard a conversation another pair of detectives were having.

"Dude, this new guy is just gonna be some other washed up pencil pusher who's only concerned with following every rule in the patrol guide MEEP MORP ZEEP. ROBOT CAPTAIN ENGAGED," a younger detective wearing an untucked jean shirt mocked.

His conversation companion, a woman in a grey suit and orange dress shirt looked behind him and immediately stood up straight. She stiffened preparing for the upcoming onslaught.

"Is that what you think?" Captain Holt's deep voiced boomed behind the young detective.

"Heyyy! New captain alert! Haha. Uhh you must be the new CO, I'm Detective Jake Peralta. Great to meet you!" Peralta stood up.

"No, don't let me interrupt you. You were describing what kind of person I am gonna be. I'd like you to finish."

"Uhhh that's not necessary," Jake tried to ease the tension, but Captain Holt continued to stare deep in his eyes, "Or I could recap uhh very quickly. Uhh let's see I said some joke about being a washed-up pencil pusher-"

"Now do the robot voice," Captain Holt ordered.

"I-uh…"

"The robot voice you were doing when you implied I'm a rule-following robot. I want to hear it again."

"Uhh meep morp. Uhhh zorp…roobot," Jake meekly complied.

"That's a terrible robot voice. Next time I see you I'd like you to be wearing a necktie," Captain Holt supposedly ended the conversation and walked towards his office.

"Uhh actually, our last captain didn't care if we wore ties or not," Jake protested.

"Well, your new captain does. And more importantly he cares that you follow his direct orders," Holt fired back, "Everyone, I'm your new Commanding Officer, Captain Ray Holt."

"Speech!" Jake's desk mate meekly cheered.

"…That was my speech," Holt dryly replied.

"Short and sweet," she answered back.

"Sargent Jeffords, when you're done settling Detective Grayson in, I'd like to see you in my office," Holt ordered.

"Yes sir!" Terry replied.

With introductions finally finished, everyone resumed their daily activities. Dick followed Terry to the other side of the bullpen.

"Alright, Dick. Welp here's your desk. Here's your introductory folder for the nine-nine. Inside you've got your log-in for all your precinct accounts including emails, criminal bookings, gear reservations and more. Mandatory briefings start at 9:30AM. If you need anything, I'm just across the way."

"Thank you, Sargent. I'm really excited to be here."

"Oh please. Call me Terry, or Sarge. And I like your attitude. Terry loves a positive work mindset! Anyway, this basket will have your cases and workload. We'll start with something small and easy. Someone's been spray painting phallic images on various cop cars. Flip through the file and we can talk more after the briefing."

"Sounds good. Thanks, Sarge!"

Dick sat down as Terry made his way to the captain's office. He looked over at Captain Holt before adjusting his tie again.

"Boy, I'm sure glad I listened to Zee. I could not have looked like more of an idiot in front of the captain," Dick breathed a sigh of relief before digging into the case file.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Terry poked his head in.

"Yes yes, Jeffords. Come in."

Captain Holt stood up and closed the door behind Terry.

"I understand that you were the second-in-command of this precinct for many years," Holt said.

"Yes sir."

"Excellent. Now, tell me about your detective squad," Holt ordered standing up to look out the window into the bullpen.

"Well," Terry started by pointing towards two older overweight gentlemen, "Scully and Hitchcock have been here the longest I believe. They used to be really good detectives back in the '80s but they're pretty much worthless right now. They make good coffee though."

"Copy that."

"Now the good ones," Terry got serious pointing out a dark and gloomy detective in a leather jacket, "Rosa Diaz. Tough, smart, hard to read and really scary."

From afar, the two officers noticed Diaz having computer problems. Angrily she started smacking the screen with her hands hoping to forcefully resolve the issue.

"Charles Boyle," Terry continued pointing towards a short fellow in a beige suit, "He's a grinder. Not the most brilliant detective but he works harder than anyone else. He's not physically gifted."

In the kitchen corner, Charles opened a wrapper and clumsily dropped his food.

"Aw man. My muffin!"

Just as he leaned down to pick it up, he banged his head against the counter and stepped on the muffin.

"Ahh. Oh my head! My muffin and my head. And I stepped on the muffin! Oh my muffin and my head and my head and my muffin!"

Back with the Captain and Sargent, Terry next pointed to Peralta's desk mate.

"Amy Santiago. She's got seven brothers, so she's always trying to prove she's tough. She and Peralta have some big bet over who gets more arrests this year. Ever since the bet, their numbers have gone way up. As for Peralta, he is my best detective. He likes putting away bad guys and he loves solving puzzles. The only puzzle he hasn't solved is how to grow up."

"That was made evident to me by our earlier encounter. Now tell me about Detective Grayson."

"Honestly, he's brand new. Today is his first official day as a detective. First day at the nine-nine too. But when he was a beat cop, he was the best beat cop in BPD history. Holds the record for most arrests in a single month. Top scores at the academy and finished in the 99th percentile on the detective exam."

"Interesting. Wait. Dick Grayson. That's not Richard Grayson of Gotham, is it?"

"Actually sir, he is. Honestly, we were all shocked to hear about it too. Dropped out of MIT to join the Bludhaven Police Force. I don't get it, but he seems like a nice guy."

"Where was he previously stationed?"

"The 48th, sir, with Captain Wuntch."

"….Wuntch?...WUNTCH?! MADELINE WUNTCH!?" Holt asked as his eyes widened and nostrils fumed with fury.

"Uhhh yes sir?"

"Oh ho, I see how it is. The she-devil is trying to besmirch me from the get-go," Holt mused.

"Uhhh sir?"

"Madeline Wuntch has been trying to set back my career ever since we were detectives at the NYPD. And now, she hears I'm coming to Bludhaven and she plants a spy in our midst."

"Sir?"

"Grayson! Is there really a coincidence that she'd send him at the same time I join the nine-nine? Please."

"Uhh actually sir, we accepted Grayson well before the higher-ups assigned you to us. It only took a while because we needed to process his test scores."

Holt glared back at Terry letting the information sink into his mind. Eventually he relaxed and continued looking at Dick working.

"I see. You must understand, Jeffords, I'm not just here to be your new captain. I'm here to root out the corruption of the BPD like an exterminator roots out cockroaches. I've worked with Commissioner James Gordon in Gotham. I will be ruthless in this endeavor."

"Uhh ok. Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I've read your file. Impeccable record. Strong cop. Happy family. I don't understand why you've willingly chosen desk duty, but we'll get to that later. I also know the rumors, Sargent Jeffords, that this precinct is the goody-two-shoes of Bludhaven. The department sends the non-corrupt cops straight here under bogus and lazy captains hoping to stifle their need for justice. Gordon and I worked behind the scenes so that you wouldn't be trapped under another babysitter captain. It's why Peralta's insinuations got to me."

"I'm happy to hear that, sir. We've been waiting for someone like you to join us."

"I also understand that for the past few months, your precincts numbers have skyrocketed. Do you have an explanation?"

"Uhh no not really. We've just been working hard."

"Sargent, you will tell me, and you will tell me now."

"Alright fine. We've been playing clean-up a lot lately. It's that new vigilante, Nightwing. He's been cracking down on a lot of crime in Bludhaven."

"Pft. Superheroes. Ordinary citizens who dress up as rodents putting themselves and others in harm's way."

"I mean, we really appreciate his help. He's broken up the HFS drug ring pretty quickly. We think he's close to finding the mastermind behind it all."

"Oh, so you've been in contact with him?"

"No sir! Not at all. We've just been picking up the criminals and evidence he leaves behind," Terry nervously backtracked.

"I respect James Gordon, but I will never understand his partnership with the Batman. Sargent, from this moment on we officially condemn the actions of this Nightwing and will arrest him on sight. Is that clear?"

"Uhhh yes sir."

Mount Justice Gym

"48…49….50!" Artemis strained as she but the bar back on the rack and sat up.

"Oooo getting weak in your old age, Professor?" Zatanna teased.

"Oh shut up, 'Tanna. I'm not that much older!"

"Whatever you say hehe. How is the whole professorship studying going anyway?"

"Pretty good. Few more classes and dissertations and your lookin at the new Professor of Literature at…..uh employer pending."

"Hah. Nice."

"And you, Mrs. Grayson?"

"Will you stop! We're-we're not married," Zatanna blushed looking away.

"Hmm I know that look. Something happened this morning. Was it before or after your morning bang?"

"Artemis we don't do it THAT often…..but we did do it twice this morning."

"Still doesn't answer my question."

"Fine! After."

"After the first or second one?"

"…..the second one," Zatanna rolled her eyes, "I-I was picking out his clothes and uh he called me wifey."

"No way!" Artemis exclaimed.

"And I really liked it."

"Ok so what's the issue."

"I-I dunno. I just kinda froze when he said that. It just felt so right. So normal. I didn't even think about it. I just saw him about to go to work in a hoodie on his first day and my mind clicked. It was automatic. I turned him towards the closet and picked out a suit. It's like we've known each other since forever."

"'Tanna, you've been dating for years now! Hell I'd argue even longer with how you two flirted when you met."

"But even still. Are we moving too fast?"

*SMACK*

"Ow!" Zatanna held the spot on her head where Artemis slapped.

"My God, Zatanna. You live together. You sleep together. You two have literally taken all the steps in a relationship. Why are you so afraid of marriage?"

"It's a big step, Artemis! It just feels like putting a label on it will change things."

"What's there to change? Honestly the only major change is that you get to call him husband…..and taxes I guess but still!"

"But what if he's not ready?"

*SMACK*

"Ow! Stop that!" Zatanna rubbed her head again.

"Ok, on the off chance that he's not ready, he will clearly get there eventually because he adores you. However, I'm willing to bet that because he adores you, he's ready."

"How can you be sure?"

"I'll prove it."

Artemis reached into her gym bag and pulled out her phone. She typed a few words and sent a text. Storing her phone, she sat down on the bench and crossed her legs.

"Uhh what are you doing?" Zatanna asked.

"Waiting," Artemis replied.

"Waiting for what?"

"Recognized: Nightwing B-01"

A sweaty and tired Dick Grayson sprinted into the gym. He clearly left his suit jacket behind as Artemis and Zatanna could clearly see his sweat-soaked dress shirt. The sleeves were rolled up and the tie was stuffed into the chest pocket. Wiping the sweat off his forehead he looked up at the girls.

"I'M HERE. I'M HERE. IS SHE…." he panted, "alright?"

His eyes darted back and forth between the girls sitting on the bench. The more he looked, the angrier he got.

"ARTEMIS! You said this was an emergency! And that Zee was in trouble!" he scolded.

"Well, I mean, she was!" Artemis slyly smiled, "She needed tips on proper squatting techniques so she can show off that big butt you like so much."

"ARTEMIS!" both Dick and Zee cried out.

"Arty, look, don't do that again. I was on my lunch break. I ran like five blocks to get to the nearest Zeta tube!" Dick sighed.

"Here, baby, come on. Let's freshen you up and get you something to eat before you head back," Zee took his arm and led him out of the gym.

Before she left, Zatanna turned back to Artemis trying to send her a menacing glare. Instead, Artemis fired back with a look that screamed "I told you so." With the couple out of the gym, Artemis pulled her phone out again.

Chalant Betting Pool

Artemis: Grayson Emergency Response Time: 3 minutes 22 seconds.

Raquel: DAMMIT. How the hell did he get there in less than five minutes?!

Wally: Clearly, you underestimate our ninja boy wonder. Actually, is this a new personal best for him?

M'gann: I think so. Glad I made the cut this time though! 3 min 20 sec was a suuuuper close bet.

Conner: 3min 15 seconds. Knew he had it in him.

Barbara: Pay up bitches. I had 3 minutes 22 seconds on the dot!

Kara: No fair! You did some stupid math genius-y calculations or whatever!

Kory: I believe Earth has a saying. "Do not hate the game, hate the player?"

Donna: Other way around sweetie.

Kory: Do hate the game and the player?

Kaldur: At any rate, Artemis, Wally, M'gann, Conner, Barbara, Kara, Kory, and Donna all receive thirty dollars. Barbara receives an additional ten dollars for being the closest without going over. My apologies Raquel.

Raquel: I don't know if I can play anymore. You guys are cleaning me out!

Jason: Why am I even in here if you guys don't let me bet!?

AN: Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. I've been working on submitting some grad school apps and finally got them in! Unfortunately you might have to wait another week for an update because I'm going out of town this weekend. I wanted to get something posted before then so here we are! Sorry for the large filler exposition. I wanted to set up the BPD since Dick will be working there now. Hopefully the fluff makes up for it! Thank you all for your love and support. Till the next time!