"Yo! We're coming at you live from camp Wawanakwa somewhere in Muskoka Ontario. I'm your host, Chris McLean. Dropping season 1 of the hottest new reality show on TV, right now!" The camera flashes to a new shot. We now see Chris walking further down the dock, a fake host smile plastered on his face. "Here's the deal: Twenty-two sixteen year old campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers!"
"Every three days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk the dock of shame, take a ride on the boat of losers, and leave Total Drama Island for good!" Chris punches his palm to bolden his point. We then cut to what looks like a bonfire set up, 11 logs propped up in front of a pot full of firewood. "Their fates will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies, where each week all but one camper will receive a marshmallow." He picks up a marshmallow on a stick and chews it, keeping that snarky host smile on his face even as he swallows.
"In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with internet stardom and $100,000 which let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week." He cheekily winks, holding up a prop treasure chest before offloading it to the ground. "To survive they'll have to battle: Black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food, and!.. Eachother." We're shown all of these things to be very real, starting with flies swarming a grizzly bear, then a maggot which appears to still be alive squirming around on a plate, and lastly a big collage of the contestants profile pictures on the website they auditioned to.
"Afraid you'll miss some action or that camera-men are inhabiting every intimate moment? Not to worry. There are cameras situated everywhere on camp, both public and private! 'Side from the bathroom stalls unfortunately, hehe. Don't worry, they're basically invisible if you don't know where to look." We see these cameras look like water sprinklers, thermostats and in some cases, are just big cameras stitched together with duct tape in high places.
Chris is back standing on the dock of shame, looking incredibly excited at the prospect of torturing teens. "Who will crumble under the pressure? What friendships and alliances will blossom? Will there be any kissing, fighting or other extreme cases of teenage angst? Find out right here, right now, on:
Total. Drama. Island!"
The theme song plays over an intro sequence.
The first shot depicts Wawanakwa in full, leading up to a giant cliff and zooming past McLean as he sips a coffee before diving into the water below the cliff.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine.
You guys are on my mind.
We see Ezekiel under water, watching Geoff and Bridgette with a downtrodden look on his face, both of which are staring longingly into each other's eyes until an eagle picks Geoff up by his shoulders and carries him off. Bridgette tries to reach for him, watching him fly away with concern.
You asked me what I wanted to be and now I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous.
The eagle drops Geoff down as it soars past the sun. He falls down a few tree branches before landing in DJ's arms, who seconds prior was enjoying nature and the copious animals around him. The animals get violent and attack as soon as their peace is disturbed. DJ and Geoff scream as the former runs with the latter in his arms away from the vicious animals.
Duncan laughs hysterically at the scene, but Courtney glares at him with disapproval, causing him to stop.
I wanna live close to the sun
So pack your bags cause I already won.
Heather is in a canoe with Beth and LeShawna going down the stream. Beth is in the middle, trying to separate the two from dueling. The canoe ends up careening off of the stream and down a waterfall, which makes the teens fall to the water below, passing by Harold as he practices a few fighting poses on a dangerously positioned log overlooking the falls. As he stretches his arms and legs out in a dorky position, Izzy swings in on a vine and knocks into him, bumping directly into an outhouse housing Lindsay, who falls out with her skirt around her ankles.
Everything to prove
Nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Cause I wanna be famous.
Inside the mess hall kitchen, we see Chef preparing some disgusting green soup with his bare hand dipped into the pot. He looks behind him at a tied up Owen and Noah, both looking petrified of whatever Chef is concoting for them. In the mess hall itself, Eva arm wrestles Tyler, easily beating him and dislocating his arm.
Outside on the beach, Sadie and Katie coo over Justin, who is looking at himself in between two mirrors. He winks at one, his teeth glistening.
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
We get a good look at the polluted, muggy, teal waters of Wawanakwa, a few seagulls fighting over a cellphone. Katie swims for it, with Sadie watching from the sand anxiously, but the skinny brown clone of her best friend ends up being terrorized by a shark and swims back to shore as fast as she can.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
Back on the dock of shame, we see Justin strut to the edge before ripping his shirt off, water from the shark splashing towards Katie drenching his perfectly chiseled muscles. He flexes as the camera goes up and transitions from day to night, then comes back down at the campfire ceremony.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
Trent is playing his guitar for Gwen, who is entranced by him. He leans forward, a warm smile on his face. As they inch closer, Cody gets between them and places a hand on both of their shoulders, smiling dorkily. The rest of the cast whistles the chorus of the theme song as the camera zooms out to capture them all sitting around the bonfire. The logo appears above them.
Total Drama Island:
The Creeps Cut
Created by Voice_From_Under_The_Covers and Gannon/Crimson Candy.
After commercial break we come back to Chris Mclean, standing on the dock of shame as the sun beats down on the waterfront. He stands with his fists on his hips, smiling as usual. "Welcome back to Total Drama Island. Alright, it's time to meet our cast!" He holds his hand to his cheek as the camera zooms on his face. "We told them they'd be staying at a five-star hotel, so if they seem a little p.o.'d, that's probably why."
The first boat pulls up. Excitedly and awkwardly, Beth stumbles onto the deck and runs towards Chris with a tacky orange suitcase in her hand. "Beth, what's up?" Chris greets. She engulfs him in a hug.
"Thank you sho much for having me!" Spit sprays on his blue shirt. He awkwardly pushes her away, cringing. She seems unfazed.
"Er, you're welcome!" He continues fake host smiling. She raises a brow.
"Hi everyone from Orangeville!" She waves sporadically at the camera.
"Uh, okay, Beth, why don't you wait behind me for the rest of the campers?"
"Okay!"
Just as she gets into position, the next boat arrives. Chris puts a hand forward as DJ, a towering dark skinned man holding two bags full of luggage, approaches. He puts the bags down to offer a high-five. "Yo, Chris McLean! How's it going?"
"Very good, DJ, very good indeed." He nods.
DJ looks around, realizing something about the island. "Hey, uh.. You sure this is the right place, man? Where's the hot tub at?"
"This is it, man, Camp Wawanakwa!"
The camera pans to show a mass of black flies hovering around Chef Hatchet throwing away a black bag. He swats them away with a grumpy frown on his face, but gets overpowered and ends up just throwing the bag on the floor. The bugs attack the bag and leave Chef alone, who seems pleased with himself as he wipes his hands.
DJ slouches his shoulders and picks up his luggage, walking past Chris with a sour expression. "Hm.. hm. Looked a lot different on the application form.." Beth waves at him and he smiles back briefly, but it fades and he's back to looking distant and confused.
The next boat arrives carrying a blue haired, pasty and clearly ticked off goth girl. She gets her baggage out, disgusted by the island.
"Hey, Gwen!" Chris chirps, annoyingly cheery. She looks around one more time, even pinches herself to make sure she's not asleep in the boat and having a nightmare.
"...You mean we're staying here?" Her briefcases are heavy looking but she's got quite the death grip on them.
"No, you're staying here!" He points at her condescendingly. "My crib's a small cottage with AC, thatta way." Then he points back in whatever direction his cottage is in. Gwen rolls her eyes.
"I did not sign up for this."
"Actually.." He takes out a stack of paper, all signed by Gwen Fahlenbock. "You did." Gwen grabs the papers from Chris's hands, lets go of her suitcases and rips the papers up, throwing them in the water with a smug grin on her face. Chris looks surprised at first, but grins and pulls out another stack. "The great thing about lawyer's is they make lots of copies."
She's perplexed, but regains her composure, picks up her stuff and turns around. "I'm not staying here."
"Well, I hope you can swim, cause your ride just left." The boat she came in on speeds off in the distance, crossing paths with the next one, which is blasting party music. Gwen turns back to Chris.
"Jerk."
The next boat delivers Geoff, a blonde party dude with abs and a pink open tee. He's dancing on the boat he arrives in before the driver hands him his suitcase. "Thanks, Shelby, party on, dude!" After shooting finger guns at the driver, he jumps off of the boat. It speeds off as he walks up to Chris and fist bumps him. "Chris McLean! Sup, man? It's an honor to be here, man!"
"Geoff, welcome to the island, man." Chris shoots his own finger guns at Geoff.
"Thanks, man!"
"They say man one more time, I'm gonna puke." Gwen groans, folding her arms. DJ is still confused and just looks down at her, but Beth seems more enthusiastic to greet Geoff.
"Yo, what's up, dudes? Y'all look sick, hope we can get along!"
"You realize you were just lied to about a five star hotel and now have to stay here for the entire summer, right?" DJ asked, scratching the back of his neck. Geoff smiled earnestly.
"Yup! It's okay though, it'll be like a big beach party with a bunch of strangers! Are you guys excited to get it on?" He woops his arms in the air.
"Yeah I am!" Beth yelps, jumping excitedly.
"Huh. Maybe I'm being too pessimistic." DJ's confused look turns into one of optimistic excitement.
"No and no." Gwen deadpans.
"Everyone, this is Lindsay!"
Before they knew it, the next boat dropped off a drop dead gorgeous white girl standing at an impressive height of 5'9. She poses for the camera, showing off her nails, eyes and bust. "Hiiii~!"
"Not too shabby.." Chris whispers to the camera as she walks toward him.
"Okay, you look soooo familiar!" She pokes her bottom lip, which is noticeably slick with orange lip gloss.
"I'm Chris McLean." She looks at him without a sense of humor or remembrance. "The host of the show?"
"Oooooh, now I remember you!" She then struts right on by. The other contestants shrug awkwardly, but Chris gawks at her chest as it bounces past him. He puts a thumbs up at the camera.
The next boat drops off a raven haired Asian teen wearing sunglasses. Her aura is one of power and status. In her sunglasses is the reflection of an excited Geoff, a nervous DJ, a submissive Beth, a confused Lindsay and an impatient Gwen. She takes off her glasses and looks around at her competition. Then she looks at the island and scoffs.
"Heather." Chris nods politely at her.
"I thought we were staying at a hotel?"
He shakes his head.
"Ugh." As she walks towards the others, everyone but Lindsay and Geoff fold before her.
"Welcome, dude!"
"I'm not a dude."
Lindsay gasps, taking Heather's hair in her soft, clearly lotioned hands. "Clearly! You're so pretty! You should really get these bleached though, we could make your hair a prettier blonde, or even a cute brunette!"
Heather aggressively takes her hair back, but keeps a soft expression. "Don't touch me, please."
"Aww, it's okay! We can do it later, when all the girls arrive!" Heather winces. Lindsay smells like cherries, clashing with her vanilla. Gwen takes a step back.
"Sweet, sorority party! And we're not even in college!" Geoff whispers with DJ, who smiles and shakes his head, trying not to laugh. Heather rolls her eyes.
The next boat pulls up blasting Ronnie Radke through a speaker being stepped on by a six foot delinquent with a green mohawk. He steps off menacingly, holding a duffel bag over his shoulder. He glares at the island, catching onto Chris's facade already.
"Duncan! Welcome to Camp!"
He gets up in Chris's face, raising his fist and gritting his teeth. "I don't like surprises."
"Your parole officer made sure I knew about that, man. He also made sure I gave him a holler in case you needed to be taken back to juvie." Chris, confident and cool, states. Duncan backs down, sighs and then walks forward.
"Okay then." As he meets with the others, he passes by Heather front and center and whispers, "Meetcha by the campfire, gorgeous~"
"Drop dead, you skeez!" She shoots back, repulsed. Duncan places his duffel next to Lindsay and looks her up and down, smirking. When she catches him staring, he looks away.
"I'm calling my parents, you can't make us stay here!" Heather warns, taking out her phone to make a call. "What? No bars?!"
"What did you expect, wifi island?"
"Ugh!"
"Besides. Contract. Remember?"
Next boat soars in with another white, brown haired and fit looking teen dragging behind it on jet skis.
"Ladies and gentleman: Tyler!" Chris announces. The boat is playing some goofy trap song. Tyler waves at the group before wiping out on the skis, his face splashing against the water like a pebble until he skids against the dock of shame, splinters littering his body. "Ooooh! That's gotta hurt!"
"Wicked wipeout, dude!" Geoff chants. Tyler raises a pained thumbs up.
"That's just… wow." Gwen says, shaking her head. Duncan and Geoff laugh, high fiving each other. Lindsay also finds it quite funny, giggling into her palm. Tyler notices her and his pupils dilate before he's lifted up by DJ and Beth.
"Thanks, guys. Can you help me get the splinters out too?"
"Uh.. pass." Beth puts her hands up.
"I.. Alright, come on." DJ replies, ushering him to the back of the group.
Chris chuckles at the awkward display. The next boat zooms in during the chaos and out comes the next contestant. Chris is alerted to him when he feels hot exhales run along his neck. He twitches before looking behind him to see a scrawny, geeky, brown haired dork with freckles and glasses. He's holding a keyboard and two suitcases with him, clearly decked out.
"Harold.. Welcome to camp."
Harold looks around, mainly at the island and the other contestants.
"..What's he doing?" Beth whispers.
The dork looks at Chris directly. "Yeah I can work with this. Probably better than most people. Summer camps are the greatest place where challenges and memories can be dealt out. I should know, I've been to several throughout the years."
"Yes, yes, great, thank you, move along." He pats Harold's shoulder. He struts forward and almost stands next to Geoff, but the surfer moves out of the way so he can stand next to Gwen instead. She glares daggers at Geoff's innocent face. Chris cringes at the camera.
The next teen arrives holding a guitar case on his back and a suitcase in his hand. His piercing green eyes stare into the drone camera out by the water recording the scene.
"Contestant number 9, Trent!"
Trent blinks, but quickly shakes his head and wears a grin. "Hey, Chris, nice to meet you, man. I saw you on that figure skating show, pretty sweet stuff."
"Thanks, man, I knew I rocked that show!" Chris happily bumps fists with Trent in a semi complex handshake.
"I remember that! The blonde skater dropped his partner on her head, so they got immunity that week." Beth explained.
"Lucky, I hope I get dropped on my head!" Harold said, apparently not hearing himself.
"Me too!" Lindsay chirps.
"So.. this is it?" He asks, surveying the island, murky water and awkward campers, one of which (Harold) begins picking his nose, while Tyler gets splinters removed, Duncan cups Lindsay's chin in his hand and Heather glares.
"Yup!" Chris confirms.
"Alrighty then…" Trent, worried, disappears into the crowd, positioning himself in front of Gwen. He notices her discomfort at Harold's gold digging, so he fits himself next to her. She looks away in an attempt to deny his gesture internally.
The next boat pulls up. A blonde skinny girl with a surfboard and duffel steps down to the dock. "Hey, everyone." She greets, smiling. "Mr. McLean." She nods at him. He nods back.
"Bridgette, the surfer chick. Welcome. Hope you don't mind the scenery."
"As long as we still get the hotel and beaches."
"No hotel, malibu. They tricked us." Duncan replies, folding his arms. Her smile fades.
"Oh. Beaches though, right?"
"Totally beaches!" Geoff exclaims, running up to her so he can get a better look at her. "Hey, I'm Geoff! I also love the tide!"
"Oh, hey! Nice to meet you, really." She turns, and her surfboard nearly takes out Harold, Duncan and Lindsay. They duck before it hits them.
"Hey, watch the board, man!" Harold whines.
"Hi, I'm Beth!" Beth waves at Bridgette, hoping to gain another actual friend.
"Hey!" She swings her board again as she turns to face Beth.
"Okay, is that everyone? Can we move on now?" Heather asks, impatient.
"Not just yet, Heather. Up next is Noah!" On cue, a short Indian teenager with brown hair and one suitcase pulls up to the dock and casually walks forward.
"You got my memo about my life threatening allergies?" Noah asks.
"I'm sure someone did!" Chris replies nonchalantly.
"Great, hey is there really where we're staying?" He walks past Chris, looking at Wawanakwa with a less than pleased look.
"No, this is your mothers house, and we're having a party!" Duncan punches his palm. Noah looks at him and snickers.
"Nice piercings, original, do them yourself?"
"Yeah, you want some too?" Duncan grabs Noah's bottom lip, holding a needle to it.
"Ow! Let go, douchebag." He does so, a cocky smirk still on his face. "Thanks." Noah sarcastically says, walking away from him.
The next boat up could have been heard a mile away, carrying a boisterous dark skinned woman with one curvy figure. As she arrived, she waved to those on the dock. "What's up, y'all? LeShawna's in the house!"
Everyone looked away from Noah and Duncan's short scuffle to look at the fresh meat that had just landed. She strolled her way past Chris. Most of the teens just waved at her with friendly smiles, though Heather was definitely sizing her up, while Harold was gawking as if she were an unopened pack of Magic cards.
"I hate to be that girl, but ya might as well just give up the money now, cause I came to win!" She confidently stated.
"So did the rest of us." Heather muttered under her breath. Gwen rolled her eyes at her comment.
She stopped in between DJ and Harold, looking around before realizing their location. "Hey.. where's the resort?"
"I've never seen a girl like you in real life before."
LeShawna blinked, turned around and witnessed the face of the scrawniest, dorkiest looking geek she had ever seen. Not to mention the fact that he smelled like cheddar dust. "Excuse me?" She folded her arms with an impatient look.
"You're real big.." He stretched his arms out in a square for emphasis. "..And loud."
"What did you call me?!"
"Easy.." DJ put a hand on LeShawna's shoulder and squeezed it. "The whole resort thing was a hoax. We're really competing on some crummy island."
"Are you for real?" She asked, looking away from Harold.
"Unfortunately." Gwen confirmed.
"It's not all bad.." Harold spoke.
"Save it." She shot back, glaring daggers at him. He just smiled back, so she looked away confused.
The next boat dropped off two teens, both in matching tacky outfits. "Ladies, welcome to the island. I understand you're social media influencers?"
"Oh my gosh, how did you know?"
"Sadie, can you believe it? We actually got recognized in real life!"
"Isn't that crazy?"
"Sooo crazy!"
"Oh god." Noah put a hand on his face and grimaced.
"Hey, I know you two! Welcome to the show, guys!" Beth greeted, waving wildly, nearly swatting at Lindsay's face, who was absolutely starstruck.
"Katie..? You're like.. Such an insulation for me!" The dumb blonde chirped. Katie blushed and flapped her hand.
"Awwww, thank you, Queen!"
Sadie smiled nervously. "What about me?"
Lindsay mimicked Katie's hand flap. "Sassie, I love you too, don't worry."
"It's Sadie, actually-"
"Well I hope you two know we picked you basically only for your fame." Chris interrupted.
"That's fine! We just want more money so we can live together when we move out of our dumb parents houses!" Katie took Sadie's hand in hers.
"Yeah, parents are dumb!" Sadie replied. The two then walked into the crowd.
The next boat thankfully silenced the duo. A pale, redneck boy anxiously looked between all of the new faces, no words coming out of his mouth.
"Ezekiel, what's up, man?" Chris shot finger guns at him, awaiting a reply with that douchey host grin. Zeke looked up and pointed, sweating.
"I- uh- I think I see a bird!"
Half the cast chuckled at his expense, others just looked at him like he was stupid. Ezekiel lowered his head.
"Yup, just about how I expected your introduction to go. Just go over there with the rest of the contestants, okay?"
"Okay.." He walked the walk of shame to the back of the group, hanging his head with his hands in his pockets as the next boat dropped off a short, brown haired boy with a Bat symbol T-shirt on.
"Cody, welcome to the show, dude."
"Thanks for the opportunity, Chris. What's up, everybody? I see all the sexy ladies have already arrived, alright~!" Cody does his best impression of a cool guy's walk cycle, a playboy's grin on his face. He winks at Lindsay and Bridgette, the former of which smiles and the latter of which furrows her brows, he shoots finger guns at LeShawna, who just gives a shake of her head, and finally opens his mouth in front of Gwen.
"Save it, Tiny Tim."
He frowned before noticing Sadie and Katie. "Hey, you two are the blickblockers I mentioned in my latest video!"
The two were taking videos in front of the giant island behind them. "What video?" Katie asked before immediately ignoring him. He sighed and settled between Duncan and Geoff.
The next boat stops Cody from making any further advances. The air goes quiet as a meaty woman jumps down, her luggage making the dock creak loudly. She has a constant look of fury on her face. "Eva.. At this rate we could put a bunch of you in an Anti-social club, hehe."
Punch!
Chris stumbles back after a good jab in the stomach, holding his point of injury whilst groaning. "Ow!.. Learn to take a joke, dyke…"
"When you learn how to host, sure."
"Daaaamn, not bad, girl!" LeShawna cheers, snickering.
Eva just stares at her.
"Uh.. okay then."
Then she walks towards the back of the crowd and settles her bag on Zeke's foot.
"Ow! What the heck, man?!" He jumps, rubbing his injured foot through his boot.
"Sorry." She lifts up her bag and places it off of his person without emotion. Everyone even remotely close to her takes three steps forward.
"She's all yours, man." Duncan tells Cody, nudging him with his elbow. Cody shudders.
The next boat arrives just as Chris is done groaning about his pain, the sudden sound of a round, blonde boy wearing the Canadian Maple Leaf on his shirt cheering snapping him back into reality.
"WOOOHOOO! Chris Mclean, what is happening?!"
"Owen, welcome!"
"I'm so siked to be here, man!" He lifts the host up in a bear hug, the crack of his back loudly ringing out as he's held by the six foot tall Owen. "Man, this is just so…"
"Awesome?"
"Yes! Wooooohoooo! Are you gonna be on my team?"
"Oh, I sure hope so." Gwen rolls her eyes, faking a cheering motion with her finger.
"I hope I'm on your team too, guy!" Geoff howls.
"Same here dude!" Owen belts out, letting go of Chris to join his fellow contestants. He holds Geoff, Trent, Gwen and Tyler in a big group hug. "Man, this is great!"
"Okay, okay, we get it. Does the show start now?" Heather questions as Gwen lets herself out of the big group hug. The others seem fine in it.
"Not yet.. Ugh.. Just three contestants left and- oh, here's another boat now."
A tan skinned brunette dressed in pretty dull formal attire smiles and waves at the dock before her boat stops to let her off. She gets off in an orderly fashion, no big stunts or grand gestures, then shakes Chris's hand.
"Everyone, this is Courtney." Chris lets go of her hand and gets out of her way politely.
"Hi everyone, it's really nice to meet you all."
Nobody seems to take much interest in her, aside from Beth, Lindsay, LeShawna and Cody, the first three of which just smiled and waved back at her, while Cody raised his eyebrows up and down. Duncan grinned at her, checking her out from head to toe. As she looked around at her fellow campers, her train of thought was suddenly bulldozed when Owen took her hand and shook it violently.
"How's it going?! I'm Owen!"
"Nice to meet you, O…wow."
The next boat carried a person that could only be described as stunning- no, tantalizing, no, beautiful.. No. Justin. He grinned at the camera and his teeth glimmered. The boat driver took his arm and carefully directed him to the dock herself before kissing his cheek and leaving, very slowly.
Justin looked at the faces of the contestants. The women, and Owen, stared at him like a piece of meat, with the exception of Heather who seemed unimpressed but undeniably bashful. The men, aside from Owen, just looked either chill, in Trent, Geoff, Harold and DJ's cases, or jealous, in Tyler, Cody, Duncan and Ezekiel's.
And then there was Noah.. he squinted at him, skeptical.
"Justin, I just want you to know we only picked you based on your looks."
"Hey, Chris man, no problem, I get that."
"Wait a minute, Justin, from like, the ads for Dude Time? Dude, I LOVE that product!" Cody told him, smiling with raised arms.
"I can tell by how frisky you smell. Nice look, man." He replied as he walked past him. Cody rubbed the back of his neck, blushing.
"Thanks, hehe."
"Excuse me, cutie pie, can I stand next to you?"
"OKAY." Lindsay mindlessly got out of the way, even shoving Beth to the side to make more room.
"Ouch!" Beth yelped, rubbing her head. "Oh.. you can have my spot too, Justin.."
"Thanks, hun." He smiled down at the geek, making her faint.
"You have really cool pants, m-man.."
"Yeah? Same to you, dude."
"...Yeah…?"
"Yeah."
"Sweet…"
The next boat distracted Owen from any homoerotic fantasies he may have had to deliver the final contestants.
"Hey everyone, look, it's Izzy!" Chris announced as the boat got closer.
An orange haired girl can be seen clearing her throat in the far distance, then waving wildly. She gets a running start off her boat, yelling out, "Hi, Chris, hi!" before she jumps off and slams her face into the wood below their feet.
She stays face planted in the ground for a few seconds, everyone staring at her in shock. Tyler and Duncan begin laughing quietly.
"That oughta leave a mark.." Tyler chuckled out.
"Guys, she could be seriously hurt!" Courtney helped Izzy up to her feet. "Are you okay?"
"That felt… good! Oh wow, is this summer camp? Are we gonna make paper mache? Are we having lunch soon?"
"That is a good call!" Owen exclaims with a hungry grin.
"Okay, now that everyone's been accounted for, who's up for a promo pic?" Chris takes out his disposable camera, an old and frankly tired looking piece of equipment.
"With that fossil?" Noah questioned.
"Hey, it's for an older, more realistic look, you bunch of spoiled brats. Now, get into position, however you'd like to pose, just no middle fingers, boobs or dongs. Okay?" The host climbs up the lifeguard chair and sits down comfortably, getting his camera ready. The group of teens begin posing.
Ezekiel flashes two thumbs up at the far left side, a grin on his poor face. Next to him is Harold, puts his arms out in front of his face, both on corresponding sides of his head. Next to him is Eva, who is holding Justin's arm posessively, and in front of them sits Izzy, Beth and Bridgette sitting tightly together. DJ and Geoff shake each other's hands firmly while Duncan stands behind them with a rocker symbol out. Courtney places her knuckles on her hips and tries to give a sweet, mature smile, while next to her Owen holds Tyler by the hip like a dog and gives a big grin. Lindsay waves at the camera while Trent strums his guitar and Noah sits at the edge of the dock, a book in his hands and his smiling mug looking at the camera. Heather stands next to him, folding her arms and giving a wide fake smile. Sadie and Katie have their phones out and are still trying to take a picture of themselves, this time in front of the Camp Wawanakwa sign. LeShawna puts an arm behind her head and winks at the camera. Finally, Cody does a fake weiner pose next to Gwen, who hugs her knees and doesn't notice.
"Everyone say: Wawanakwa!"
"Wawanakwa!" They repeat.
Click! The flash is blinding, especially for a camera of that size. So blinding in fact that it makes Gwen punch Cody in the balls, causes Owen to fall with Tyler into the water and makes Noah drop his book in said water. Everyone blinks a bit before glaring at him. Owen and Tyler swim back up, panting.
"Okay, our next stop is the campfire. There, we'll explain the rules of this game. Follow me, kiddies!" Chris hops off his towering position before leading the teens to the bonfire. It isn't too far away, merely a minute long walk.
On the way, Heather observes her compatriots, Gwen tries to avoid everyone else and Ezekiel sticks to the back. Tyler attempts to scoot his way into Lindsay's space, but she seems clueless, kind of just staring off into the wilderness. "Hey, what's your name?" He taps her arm.
She swings her head to look at him, smiling innocently. "Oh, my name's Lindsay! Well technically it's Lindsay Ann, but everyone just calls me Bimbo!"
"Oh.. uh, nice to meet you, bimbo. I'm Tyler, er Tyler Hopkins. My friends just call me, er.. Ty!" He blurted out, sweating.
"Cute!"
Chris stops at the campgrounds, along with the rest of the teens. "Alright, campers, take a seat." Everyone does as told on the log stumps scattered in front of the campfire, aside from Heather and Geoff. "Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next eight weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. Ya dig?"
Harold smiles at Duncan, insinuating friendship between the two. He immediately raises a fist and the dork backs off.
"The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000!" Everyone is quiet, counting the possibilities of what the money could make them in such a short amount of time. Everyone but Duncan.
"'Scuse me, what are the sleeping arrangements? Cause I'd like to request a bunk under her." He points a finger at Heather, smirking that devilish smirk. She scowls.
"They're not co-ed, are they..?" Heather asks, creeped out.
"No, both teams get their own cabins. Guys sleep in one room, girls sleep in the other." Chris answers.
Lindsay raises her hand. "Can I have the cabin with a lakeview, since I'm the prettiest?"
"Prettiest? Prettiest lady, maybe, hehe. I believe that title goes to me, sweet cheeks."
"Wow.. okay, so true! Can Justin get the cabin with the view of the lake?"
"Okay, you're both right, but that's not how it works. Like, at all. You all suffer equally, so you'll both be under our specially made, very safe cabins."
"You mean those cabins?" LeShawna points out the cabins, which can be seen from here. They look like typical low budget summer camp cabins, swarmed with mosquitos and an ominous sense of impending death.
"Like I said: specially made." He chuckles.
Gwen sighs. "This can not be happening."
"Oh, come on guys, it'll be like a big sleepover!" Owen grabs Gwen and Tyler's heads, placing them in a headlock very amorously.
Tyler whispers, "At least you won't have to sleep next to him." He looks over to the other side of the campfire, where Duncan is giving Cody and Noah noogies.
"Here's the deal," Owen unhands the two as Chris begins speaking again, revealing a piece of paper. "We're gonna split you into two teams. If I call your name out, go stand over there." He points to the left.
"Gwen, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Katie, Owen, Noah, Justin, Heather, Trent and LeShawna. From this moment on, you'll be officially known as.. The Screaming Gophers!" He tosses them a team flag, which Owen catches alongside Trent and Noah.
"Gophers? Was that the best name you could come up with?"
"I don't hear you coming up with anything better, pretty boy."
"I could come up with at least six better names, dude. Ever heard of my band, Nine-ty Nine Bottles of Love?"
"No." Noah replies dryly.
"Hey man, come on, have some pride! We're Gophers!" Owen lets out one of his famous battle cries.
Katie gasped. "Wait, if I'm on this team, then that means.."
"Oh yes, the other team, right. Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Geoff, Duncan, Bridgette, Tyler, Eva, Izzy, Sadie and Harold, you're officially known as The Killer Bass!" He tosses the Killer Bass flag to Harold, DJ and Geoff.
"Wow.. it's like.. Amazing." Harold mutters.
"Right on, Bass pride, man." Geoff nods, smiling.
"B-But I have to be a Gopher if Katie's a Gopher!" Sadie squeaks, reaching out desperately for her other half.
"Sadie, was it? Come on, it'll be okay." Bridgette places a hand on her round shoulder, ushering her to their team. Katie watches her leave with wet eyes.
"This is SO not fair!" They yell in unison, both on the brink of tears.
"More like the Killer Ass." Duncan mutters. Courtney gasps.
"Hey, this show isn't rated TVMA! Watch your mouth!"
"Ah bite me, princess."
"Real edgy. I think it's kind of cool. Did you know that bass are actually-"
"Hey, Harold? We don't care. You know who might though? The audience at home! Introducing…"
"...The Outhouse Confessional!"
"You walked us from here to the mess hall with that awkward pause just for that shot?"
"Aren't I dedicated?"
"Totally!" Beth praised. Chris stood in his own pride.
"It's basically an outhouse with a camera inside. At any point when not in a challenge, feel free to head on in and express your inner feelings, get something off your chest, or even take the time to speak to someone back at home! Let your voice be heard.. And unheard. Go on, give it a try!"
[Confessional, Gwen]
"Um.. okay.. So far this sucks."
[Confessional, Owen]
"Hey, mom and dad... You might be wondering why exactly I left in such a hurry, went missing for three days and am now appearing on your TV.. well…"
[Confessional, DJ]
"Yeah, it's no resort, but I guess it could work. Everyone seems cool here, plus the money should be nice. Hi Momma!"
[Confessional, Ezekiel]
"Well, I'm still okay. I guess if I keep my head down and follow orders, I should be okay-er. As long as we don't have any girl leaders. We already got a lottofem on our team, eh."
[Confessional, Geoff]
"Brody-bro, tape this and every other episode for when I get back home! I am so psyched to watch this show over and over while at parties. People'll be like, hey you're on your TV, dude! And I'll be all, 'yeah dude, I am!' Woo!"
[Confessional, Tyler]
"Not too bad so far. Hey, do you guys think Lindsay is into me? She seems so, right? I've never had a good girlfriend before, but she seems really cute.. I can dream."
[Confessional, Noah]
"Who's the weakest link on my team? Only time will tell. I think it'll probably go to Lindsay or Beth overall, but who's to say?"
[Confessional, Izzy]
"Okay, so I totally could have had a more balanced team, but holy macarol! Get it?!"
[Confessional, end]
Chris brings the campers back to the main area, where their cabins stand. "Any questions? Cool! We're gonna have lunch before the first challenge, get you all good and fed, but first, unpack your luggage and find your cabins! Gophers, you're in the east cabin, Bass you're in the west. Meet me at the mess hall in ten minutes" He motions his hands at both structures. We follow the Gophers first. Heather opens the door, a waft of spoiled honey, wood and bug spray hitting her nose.
"Ugh.. bunk beds? Isn't this a little summer campy?"
Gwen pushes past her with her shoulder. "That's the idea, genius."
"Ugh, shut it, weird goth girl." The other girls fill in to this side of the cabin.. And Cody.
"You're so smart. I feel that." Gwen drops her luggage at the sound of his annoying voice before turning around to face him.
"Shouldn't you be on the boys side?" He simply smiles. His charms do not work, of course, and Gwen throws him out. He's surprisingly light.
"Ah! Alright, alright.." He slowly gets up to his knees.
"Ouch man, need a hand?" Trent offers. Cody looks up and takes his hand.
"Uh.. sure." On his feet, he follows the singer into their side of the cabin.
"Excuse me, where are the outlets? I need to plug in my straightening iron." Lindsay asks, stepping out of her cabin.
"There are some in the communal bathroom across the way." Chris explains. Needless to say, the bathroom is disgusting. Dirt is splashed on the faded paint, the wood of the structure is corroded in places and the trail up to it is surrounded with bugs.
"Communal? But I'm not catholic."
"Not communion; communal."
Lindsay raises a brow.
Gwen sighs, sitting down on the stairs. "It means we shower together, idiot."
"What?! No! Come on!"
Her loud whining alerts Owen, Noah and Trent, who are in the other cabin. "Hehe, glad we're in our own cabin with just guys, know what I mean?" The two stare at him weirdly. "Er, I mean.. Like, cause we don't have to deal with chicks being all- you know, loud!"
"Sure, buddy, sure." Noah puts a supportive hand on his wide tummy before leaving to unpack. Trent just shrugs and follows suit.
"I didn't mean that I didn't wanna sleep with women! I loooove chicks, even more than men! I mean-!"
"It's okay, Owen, no one's judging." Justin assures as he walks past him into the cabin.
"R-really..? I mean, hehe, judging what?" He follows him inside quickly.
Katie sadly struts into her cabin, refusing to unpack and instead silently sulking while Lindsay freaks out outside and Gwen goes back in to put her stuff away.
Lastly, LeShawna and Beth come into their cabin. Beth notices Lindsay's outburst. "Aww, it's okay, I'll make sure nobody sees your private parts in the showers." A blast of spit comes out of her mouth, hitting the floor. Lindsay sniffles.
"You would really do that..?"
"Of course!"
"Wow.. Thank you!"
Heather looks at the two from inside the cabin, tapping her chin.
"Hey, what's up, girl?" LeShawna asks Gwen, ruining Heather's planning environment. She leaves silently to plug in her phone.
"What's up? Well, I just blew my summer vacation on this show. So.."
"Haha, yeah, I know whatcha mean. But hey, I didn't come here for the resort. I came here to get rich and famous, and that is exactly what I'm gonna do!"
"Well, good luck with that. You have the attitude for it."
"Thanks, you're not the first to tell me. My cousin was, she's half the reason I signed up in the first place. Anyways, you seem cool, I love your style, and if you need any help, tell me. That goes for all my girls."
"Wow, thanks, Lebomba!" Lindsay tweets.
"Uh.. it's LeShawna." She corrects the bird brain.
"Right!" Gwen chuckles at her stupidity, while LeShawna playfully rolls her eyes.
Moving on to the Bass cabin, we see Geoff checking out Bridgette as she enters her cabin, waving at her with his fingers outstretched. She giggles quietly and enters her cabin. "Chrisss… Is there a chaperone of any kind in this facility?"
"You're all sixteen years old. Old enough to be counselors in training at a real summer camp. So, aside from myself, you're unsupervised."
"Nice!" Geoff pumps his fist, entering his cabin to find DJ, Duncan, Ezekiel, Harold and Tyler already unpacking. "Dudes, dudes, I just wanna say that you all seem super, super cool. One thing I gotta ask: who is here to party AND win?" Everyone in the room raises their hands and howls enthusiastically.
"I like the cut of your jib, man. I'm here to do three things." Duncan puts up three fingers.
"Oh yeah? What's that, bro?" Geoff asks.
"One.. I'm here to win that cash and get the hell outta juvie. Two.. get away from juvie and have some room to breathe.. And three, brothers..?" He pulls DJ and Geoff in specifically, immediately outcasting Tyler, Ezekiel and Harold. "I am here to fuck!"
"WOOOO! Hell yeah, man! Duncan, right? Let's gooo!" Geoff squeezes him and DJ into a big bro hug.
"Haha, nice to find a like minded stud who wants to get rich and get lucky." Duncan excuses himself out of the hug along with DJ, who seems a bit less enthused.
"Oh, I'm not really into all that. I'm more about having fun, making friends and getting money for my family." DJ replies, putting his hands up.
"That's cool too, dude. Family is important and shit." Geoff wears a dopey smile, nodding earnestly.
"For real, man, nothing better." DJ smiles back.
"Family? Psht, whatever." Duncan swats at the air, laying back on his bed.
"I'm mostly here to show off my mad skills." Harold proclaimed.
"You've got mad skills? Show me." Tyler demands, folding his arms.
"Watch this.." Harold takes out a yo-yo from his bag and begins throwing it around on its string, outstretching the pink ball up, down, around, over and under him.. Until it hits him square in the nuts and he falls to the ground, clutching his busted sack. "Ah-hahaaah..! OW!"
"Pffft.. Yeah, no mad skills." Tyler laughs, followed by Zeke's snickers.
On the girls side, Courtney, Bridgette, Eva, Sadie and Izzy unpacked their luggage. Izzy posted a few.. Odd posters on the walls.
"What on earth is that?!" Bridgette asked Izzy.
"Obunga." She stated, as if this guy was as recognizable as Mario or Mickey Mouse.
Courtney shook her head and sighed, planting her nest as far away from Izzy as possible, on the top bunk no less. Eva followed suit, putting her luggage down next to Courtney's, while Bridgette took the bottom bunk on Courtney's bed.
"So.. Courtney?" Bridgette asked, peering up to Courtney's bed.
Courtney shook her hand. "Correct. And you are?"
"Bridgette. Here to spread awareness about animal unhealth, have a good time and earn some cash!"
She scoffed. "You could probably strike that second one off your list."
"Hm.. maybe. We'll see I guess. You?"
"I'm just here to win. I've never been too much into the camp lifestyle, but I was a CIT."
"Huh, nice. Glad to know we have someone with experience on our team. Was it fun?"
"What, being a CIT? Not at all. I don't like kids."
"Aw, I do. I was a lifeguard for a while."
"What made you stop?"
"This show, I guess. I wanted to give fame a shot. Maybe I really can make a difference."
"Maybe. I wish you luck. Between you and me, you seem like the only one on our team worth anything aside from DJ.."
"Hey, I'm worth something! I have a Blickblock account with over one hundred thousand followers!" Sadie practically screeched. The girls looked at each other.
"Cool!" Izzy enthused, giving her double thumbs up.
"Enough girl talk, ladies. It's time to go." Eva jumped off her bed and left the cabin apathetically. Has it been ten minutes already?
We cut to the mess hall, where a tall, menacing Chef Hatchet stares down at a long line of hungry teenagers waiting to be served lunch. "Now listen up! I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! Grab your tray, get your food and sit your butts down now!" His thunderous voice claps at the campers' ears. Harold and Beth are first in line and both approach the counter at the same time. Behind them are Owen, Noah, Eva and Izzy.
"Excuse me," Beth starts. "Will we be getting all the major food groups?" Chef slaps down a disgusting meal for the two: a slab of red mystery meat on a stiff wheat bun next to a bowl of white, sticky, tasteless mashed potatoes and a small cup of tap water. From Chef's kitchen. Yuck.
"Yeah, cause I get hyperglycemic real bad if I don't get enough sugar."
"You'll get a whole lotta shut the heck up!" He screams into the dorks face. Harold runs off with his tray of 'food'.
"Have a cow.." Owen whispers to Noah, who laughs at him.
"WHAT WAS THAT?!" The duo are frozen solid. Izzy chuckles at his reaction. "Come closer, fat boy, I didn't hear you." Owen does as he says, but takes his tray and just walks away, muttering.
"I uh, I didn't really say anything important.."
Noah stepped up after him, biting his lip. "Hey, so you did get my memo about my life threatening allergies, right?"
"We got you meds, if that's what you're askin."
"I don't take meds."
"You do now! Now, gimme your plate, scrawny boy, you need some meat on those bones."
"Oh no, that's okay, really it's-"
Sluck!
Another mystery meat patty smacked onto the other one already on his bun. Noah held back a gag before taking the tray and following Owen, too scared to pipe up.
Izzy and Eva walked up next, both of which collected their plates. Eva went without a word, but Izzy gobbled down her food on the spot, much to the disgust of those behind her. "What the fuck is wrong with you people?" LeShawna asked.
"Probably a lot! What's wrong with you, normie?!" Izzy replied, stretching her eyelids with her fingers.
"Do I know that girl..?" Chef asked himself as she walked away before shaking his head. LeShawna grabbed her plate next.
We cut to the last two in line when everyone else has gotten their food, Lindsay and Gwen. Lindsay begins talking about something her nutritionist said to Chef, while Gwen looks around at the other campers.. 'enjoying' their meals. She was looking for one in particular and thought she found him.
Bang!
"Ghost girl, I KNOW you signed a do not resuscitate form, so don't you die on me now. Get your head outta the clouds and take your five star meal away from me before I tear it up!" Everyone stares at them, the room going silent.
"R-right, yeah.." Gwen swipes up her tray and, with wide eyes, leaves to sit next to LeShawna.
"Damn.. that's hot." Cody mutters.
"Hey guys," Chris enters the room, "welcome to the main lodge. Enjoying lunch?"
"Yo, my man, can we order a pizza?" Geoff asks the host before receiving his answer when a kitchen knife hurdles through the room and slams into the wall.
"Woah! It's cool, G! Brown slop is cool, right guys?" Everyone awkwardly agrees, mumbling gratitude and 'yes sirs'.
"Good. Your first challenge begins.. In one hour!" Chris leaves the mess hall as quickly as he entered.
"What do you think they'll make us do..?" Katie asked DJ, still looking over at Sadie from time to time with a nervous twitch.
He smiled, offering warmth. "It's our first challenge, how hard can it be?"
The contestants stand on a cliff, one thousand feet into the air, standing over water as the sun glares down at the camera. They're all wearing bathing suits and are faced with the edge.
"Oh.. shit."