"Last time on Total Drama Island: The producers and I decided that the teams needed to build trust a bit in order to survive another week here without tearing each other's throats out. Harold impressed his team again, hopefully for the last time, while Lindsay proved she was the ultimate man-eater when she accidentally poisoned Trent. We saw a bit of Duncan's nice side when he tried his hardest to spare DJ's feelings, and ultimately, it was Sadie who got the boot after betraying her team for the sake of a villainous Gopher."
A helicopter flies away on top of the mess hall building, which Chris watches from the Dock of Shame tentatively before smirking that classic smirk at the camera. "Today's challenge will be a lot different than usual, but don't think for a second about changing the channel. Will Duncan's niceness be exposed? Will Trent ever stop getting hospitalized in challenges? Will Heather and LeShawna remain friends for long? Find out all this and more on another exciting episode of…
Total.
Drama.
Island!"
The theme song plays over an intro sequence.
The first shot depicts Wawanakwa in full, leading up to a giant cliff and zooming past McLean as he sips a coffee before diving into the water below the cliff.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine.
You guys are on my mind.
We see Ezekiel under water, watching Geoff and Bridgette with a downtrodden look on his face, both of which are staring longingly into each other's eyes until an eagle picks Geoff up by his shoulders and carries him off. Bridgette tries to reach for him, watching him fly away with concern.
You asked me what I wanted to be and now I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous.
The eagle drops Geoff down as it soars past the sun. He falls down a few tree branches before landing in DJ's arms, who seconds prior was enjoying nature and the copious animals around him. The animals get violent and attack as soon as their peace is disturbed. DJ and Geoff scream as the former runs with the latter in his arms away from the vicious animals.
Duncan laughs hysterically at the scene, but Courtney glares at him with disapproval, causing him to stop.
I wanna live close to the sun
So pack your bags cause I already won.
Heather is in a canoe with Beth and LeShawna going down the stream. Beth is in the middle, trying to separate the two from dueling. The canoe ends up careening off of the stream and down a waterfall, which makes the teens fall to the water below, passing by Harold as he practices a few fighting poses on a dangerously positioned log overlooking the falls. As he stretches his arms and legs out in a dorky position, Izzy swings in on a vine and knocks into him, bumping directly into an outhouse housing Lindsay, who falls out with her skirt around her ankles.
Everything to prove
Nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Cause I wanna be famous.
Inside the mess hall kitchen, we see Chef preparing some disgusting green soup with his bare hand dipped into the pot. He looks behind him at a tied up Owen and Noah, both looking petrified of whatever Chef is concoting for them. In the mess hall itself, Eva arm wrestles Tyler, easily beating him and dislocating his arm.
Outside on the beach, Sadie and Katie coo over Justin, who is looking at himself in between two mirrors. He winks at one, his teeth glistening.
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
We get a good look at the polluted, muggy, teal waters of Wawanakwa, a few seagulls fighting over a cellphone. Katie swims for it, with Sadie watching from the sand anxiously, but the skinny brown clone of her best friend ends up being terrorized by a shark and swims back to shore as fast as she can.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
Back on the dock of shame, we see Justin strut to the edge before ripping his shirt off, water from the shark splashing towards Katie drenching his perfectly chiseled muscles. He flexes as the camera goes up and transitions from day to night, then comes back down at the campfire ceremony.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
Trent is playing his guitar for Gwen, who is entranced by him. He leans forward, a warm smile on his face. As they inch closer, Cody gets between them and places a hand on both of their shoulders, smiling dorkily. The rest of the cast whistles the chorus of the theme song as the camera zooms out to capture them all sitting around the bonfire. The logo appears above them.
Total Drama Island:
The Creeps Cut
Created by VoiceFromUnderTheCovers and Crimson Candy.
The sun beams down on the duo cabins housing the Gophers and Bass. Duncan, Geoff and DJ sit on the porch of the Bass cabin, the early morning heat providing a good temperature for Duncan to carve out some skulls on the Bass wall, DJ to groom Bunny and Geoff to make conversation with them.
"So.. Courtney's been real chum around you lately, eh tiger?" The surfer dude asks the delinquent, sipping from a can of Pepsi. Duncan's at first caught off guard, but quickly hides his realization with a sly smirk.
"A gentleman never kisses and tells. But then again, what kind of gentleman am I?"
"Wait, you kissed her?" DJ asks.
"No, not yet. I was just trying to be cute. What can I say, the girl can't keep away." Duncan replies.
"Dude, when the show is over, you and Courtney, me and Bridgette, we should go on a double date!" Geoff suggests giddily.
Duncan shrugs. "Could be fun. We'll see how we're feeling at the end of the show, though."
"Well, we are an alliance. Final three all the way?" DJ holds a hand up, the other boys slamming their palms into it.
"Yeahya!" Geoff hollers. "Man, these last few weeks have ruled!"
"And what about you, casanova? You struck gold with Malibu yet?"
Geoff looks into the distance dreamily. "Me and Bridge, we're taking it slow. I mean, we've never really talked about being together, but I'm working my way up to it."
"You've been working your way up since day one. It's time you made a move, man, both of you." DJ says.
"I'm surprised you never made a move on Katie. I can get Sadie, even if she's somewhat attractive, too, but how'd you let that slip through your fingers, bro?" Duncan asks.
"Like I said, I'm not interested in romance. But I am interested in the kind of romance I can watch from the sidelines."
"Spoken like a true bro." Geoff fist bumps DJ. Duncan shrugs, continuing to scrape the walls.
(Confessional: Geoff)
"Man, I still feel super bad about not coming clean to DJ about Bunny, but I think it might be too late. Major props to Duncan for saving my butt, but.. I dunno, it feels kinda incomplete somehow."
(Confessional: DJ)
"Man, I can't wait to get to the merge! I love my teammates, but can you imagine how much tougher we'd stand together as an alliance dominating individual challenges? I've always been a little competitive, and to be frank, that sounds awesome!"
(Confessional end)
Across the field to the Gopher cabin, Heather lays back and listens to an audiobook on her phone with her airpods in her ears, laying her head back against her arms as Lindsay paints her toenails a crimson red. "Ooh, red really brings out the Heathen in you, Heather!"
"I'm surprised you know what that word means, Lindsay." Heather replies, half aware and half relaxed.
"I don't, but it sounds so mysterious and spooky! You know who I've always wanted to do this for, though?"
"Not really."
"Gwen! I've never worked with completely pale girls before, and a goat girl? The ones at my school always call me names if I try to be their friend or offer them help with their cosmetics." Just then the Gopher door opens, and out walks Gwen.
"Gotta watch out for girls like Gwen. They're two faced, manipulative, crafty, sneaky-"
"Uh, I'm right here."
Heather opens her eyes, looking at Gwen from upside down. She flips her shades on from her pocket. "My point exactly. Where's your punk rock dreamboat, Gwenny? Something tells me breakfast is starting later rather than sooner."
"Not like he'd miss it much, or that it's any of your concern, but he and Owen went for a swim. Hey, Lindsay."
"Yes?" Lindsay excitedly chirps.
"If you find any corns, make sure to scrape 'till you see blood."
"Um… Is that a technique I haven't heard about before? I think my cousin Lauren did something like that once, but for totally the wrong reasons." Lindsay perplexedly asks.
Heather growls. "Just keep going, Lindsay, ignore her. She just wants the attention."
"Me? Take a look in the mirror sometime."
"Might wanna take your own advice. Otherwise, Trent's gonna realize real quick why you like the dark so much."
Out comes LeShawna, eyebrows furrowed. "Not this infantile feuding again. Ladies, it's been three days of this! When are you gonna give each other a break?"
The girls look at each other, but Gwen's the one who speaks. "The floors' all yours."
"That may be true, but for now I have to share it with you. Sorry, LeShawna." Heather apologizes, going back into trying to relax.
(Confessional: LeShawna)
"I have just about had it with the petty highschool drama. I have to bear enough of it at home, and I'll be damned if it becomes the norm here, too. Somethings gotta change today."
(Confessional end)
"Ooh, LeShawna, I should totally do your nails, too!" The blonde coos.
LeShawna gives a small chuckle. "Heh, maybe some other time, girl. You do seem pretty good at it."
Lindsay gasps. "Oh my gosh, after tonight's challenge, we should throw a big party where I can do everyone's nails!"
"If we win, sure." Heather murmurs, uninterested.
LeShawna tries to hide the urge to roll her eyes. "And if we lose, of course. The team could use a morale boost."
"You'll have to excuse the Queen Bee here, she's unfamiliar with the concept." Gwen mocks, igniting a glare in LeShawna.
"Gwen…"
The goth girl looks apologetic towards her friend, nodding. "Sorry. I'll be in the cabin."
Heather shakes her head, LeShawna watches her go with a hint of concern.
Trent strums a few chords on his guitar, soaking his feet in the cool Wawanakwa lake just at the edge of the dock. Owen floats around in a pink donut floatie wrapped around his chubby waist like a wedding ring, tossing a few chips in his mouth as he tries to hear his friend's music.
"Hey, where'd you get the snacks?" Trent asks, absent-mindedly strumming.
Owen swallows a potato chip. "These? Heather got 'em for me."
"Really? That's nice of her."
"Yeah! I know Noah was always worried about her turning on us all, but she hasn't been that bad so far! She tries to lead us to victory and she's always giving me stuff even when I don't ask for it. That's more than I can say for a lot of people in my hometown."
"You've been dealt a poor societal hand, my friend, as have I. But you're not the only one who has to listen to anti-Heather propaganda."
"Gwen talks smack about Heather too?"
"Yeah, but don't tell her I said that. I love that woman, but sometimes she can be a bit of a hypocrite with all her petty Mean Girls talk behind her back."
"What does she say?"
"Stuff like how she's always making fun of her and pulling pranks and being annoying. I mean, yeah, she is annoying, but Gwen makes fun of her too, and she pulled that huge prank on her in the shower."
"Didn't you tell me you came up with that one?"
Trent smirks. "Now that's just besides the point."
Owen chuckles. "Speaking of Gwen.. you really love her?"
He looks down at the lake with a deep inhale. "I've been in a lot of relationships starting really young, almost always with girls older than me, taller than me or dorkier than me if we count middle school as dating. I've never felt so loved, relied on or cherished, if I'm being honest. Gwen makes me feel that addictive pheromone I was always promised about in movies and books, but never got to experience outside of songwriting. She takes the hopelessness out of my hopeless romantic personality."
Owen wipes some tears away. "Aww… sniff, sniff.. I'm gonna cry, man. That's so sweet!"
"You're a real pal, Owen. I can't talk about this stuff with many other people. The Bass guys I don't really know, and Cody was all over Gwen. No way I could tell the girls this stuff, but you? You're such a cool guy." He smiles genuinely.
Owen blushes, grinning ear to ear. "I've never been called cool before! Especially not by such a cool guy!"
"Hey, man, after the teams dissolve, let's say me and you stick together."
"For sure! I'd love that!"
"Sweet. Oh, and speaking of romance.."
"Yeah? Lay it on me, you sly dog!" Owen shoots finger guns his way.
"You had a bit of a thing for Izzy, didn't you?"
"Oh, uh, that.. Hehehe! What can I say, she's awesome! Most girls at my school are kind of.. Mean. Or snappy. Or bossy! Or don't let me eat their seconds. But Izzy isn't any of those things. Plus, she can make me laugh just as much as Noah did."
"Were you into Noah, too?"
"Nah, Noah's my little buddy! I love that guy like a big brother. Or a little brother, I guess, hehe."
"I feel kinda the same way about LeShawna. It's nice someone on our team can try to keep the peace sometimes."
"LeShawna's been really nice to me since last challenge. Honestly, I wanna thank Chris for introducing me to so many awesome people!"
"I'll play to that. Tell me whatcha think." Trent starts up a song, an original melody.
"My ears are open!"
(Confessional: Trent)
"Tonight I wanna do something special for Gwen to take her mind off of everything sour that's been happening lately. Heather annoying her, me getting injured, even if she did think my poison reaction was hot, and that infirmary bed is officially toast thanks to that. Yup, I still got it."
(Confessional end)
Bridgette and Courtney walk through the woods, Bridgette's demeanor incredibly calm while Courtney seems on edge, her hands behind her back and her eyes deep into the green, spiky foliage. She shakes her head with disgust.
Bridgette smiles at her. "Hey, check me out. I'm not even frightened a little bit."
Courtney turns to do so. "I didn't even notice. You've really conquered your fear, Bridgette. I'm impressed."
"Thanks! I owe it all to Geoff, and to my own core strength. Meditation has never felt so serene as it is in the woods."
"If I recall correctly, you were even willing to shower in a waterfall. Major props."
"You're gonna make me blush! What about you? You seem like you're everywhere all at once, headspace wise."
"I do? Crap, sorry, I've got a lot on my mind." Courtney excuses. Bridgette nudges her with her elbow, winking. "What?"
"Aren't you gonna share with the class?"
"Ha, well…"
"Don't feel pressured to! It was a joke."
"No, no, I.. do want your opinion on something."
"Oh, okay, sure! What is it?"
"Do you believe in nature over nurture?"
Bridgette thinks. "Nature is everything. I've known plenty of people who come from bad parents that end up prospering because of their surroundings, or the choices they make. Everything is up to you."
"So.. so if I had parents who maybe didn't like the direction my life was headed.." Courtney stops herself, sighing. "Nevermind. It's just a stupid hypothetical."
Bridgette claims her hand. "You're not stupid, Courtney. Your ideas aren't either. What's going on at home?" Courtney looks down at the grass below.
"My parents have big, bright ambitions for me, and sometimes I just feel like I can't possibly live up to them. When I disappoint, they make sure I know just how badly I failed. It always feels like my success means so much less than my failures. It feels like everything is so stagnant and unfulfilling. But I do want to be a lawyer, and I do want a big house and money, and… it's so hard doing all of that." She frowns, shoulders slumped.
"Hey.. look at me." Bridgette stops her, tilting her chin to face her. Courtney sighs. "You're one of the coolest girls I've ever met. You might be under a lot of pressure, and you might have a pole up your butt,"
"Hey."
They share a chuckle. "But I believe in you, and your goals. You're an inspiration to me. A total girlboss." Bridgette squeezes her into a hug.
"Okay, okay, that's enough. Thank you, Bridgette." Courtney squeezes back.
They release. "And, hey, if you ever wanna talk about anything else, say.. Duncan…~"
Courtney rolls her eyes, but stops herself. "Well…"
Bridgette smirks. "Yeees?"
"Don't tell a soul, but.. He got DJ a new bunny after he saw what you two did to the last one." Courtney whispers. Bridgette feels a tingle shoot up her spine.
"You know about that? How?"
"Well, first of all, I'm perceptive. Second, I saw him lure it back to camp."
Bridgette pinches the bridge of her nose. "Ugh, I was super grateful for that, but how effed up is it that we haven't told DJ yet?"
Courtney shrugs. "I say keep it from him. Ignorance is bliss in guys like DJ. He doesn't have to know that that's not Bunny, it'll destroy him."
"But wouldn't you want to know the reality of your situation rather than a falsehood created by your so-called friends?"
"This is weighing on you pretty heavy, isn't it?"
"Me and Geoff. We're thinking of really telling the truth."
"Seems convoluted. But if that's what you think is right, I say-"
"NO! HATSUNE MIKU! WHAT HAPPENED?!" Harold's shrill voice shrieks just as Bridgette and Courtney round the Bass cabin corner back to camp. He comes out swinging, clutching onto the peanut-butter and jam smeared body pillow in his jammies, performing CPR on the blue haired anime girl's pillowy.. Well, pillow. Duncan can't help himself from laughing himself into hysterics, leaning against the wall while everyone else just looks confused or weirded out.
"You! You killed her!" Harold points accusatory.
Duncan snorts. "I did not kill her, those suspicious holes were already there when I found her lumped under your blankets. If anything, the husband is always the prime suspect."
"You defiled her then! In my own bed!"
"It's a pillow. And besides, she's been defiled worse. Just take it easy." Duncan replies.
"No! I fix your knife, I win us challenge after challenge, I never end up pulling any revenge pranks on you! Why do you continue torturing me?"
"I dunno, 'cause it's funny."
"When are you going to stop?!"
"When it stops being funny."
(Confessional: Duncan)
"As in never, pfft."
(Confessional: Heather)
"Okay, seriously, Hatsune Miku? How atypical does that dweeb have to be before he's recognized as a stereotype? I-I mean.. What a weirdo, having a body pillow of some cartoon, ugh."
(Confessional end)
"Maybe you should lay off him, dude. He did win us the only point in the last challenge." Geoff comments.
"Yeah! Take it easy on him, we're a full team, not a clique within a team." DJ adds.
Duncan rolls his eyes. Before he can open his mouth to reply, the speakers go off and in comes… Chef's voice? "Attention, maggots! I want all campers to report to the Dock of Shame at o' nine hundred hours."
Everyone looks confused.
"That means now, soldiers, now!"
In a panic, everyone starts to leave as fast as they can.
Both teams stand on the Dock of Shame, side by side. Chef stands before them, wearing a camo tank top, cargo pants and black boots, as well as a pair of military shades and a big drill sergeant's cap. He holds a megaphone in his hand, raising it before walking down the line of contestants. "Stand tall in proper formation! Your soft, lazy parents might have raised you with phones in yo hands and silver spoons in your mouth, but contrary to popular belief, I am not yo daddy! Stand straight,"
He whips Geoff in the legs, a squeak erupting from him as he clicks his legs together.
"arms down," Duncan's folded arms suddenly go right down to his sides when Chef whips them.
"eyes forward," He smacks a concerned DJ in the cheek.
"heads up!" The whip smacks Heather in her chin before viciously assaulting Harold with a barrage of smacks across his entire body.
Gwen leans into Trent's ear. "Oh, this is gonna be a fun day.." Trent snickers in response before Chef stands in front of them with his megaphone at the ready.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME, SOLDIER?!"
"Uh.. I said this is gonna be-"
"Nothing! You said nadda, zilch, zap because you are not to speak unless spoken to!" Chef interrupts.
"Does that mean-" The wannabe drill sergeant winds the whip back to slap Owen in the balls. "Aw! Owww…" He can't even bend all the way over to cradle his jewels if he tried. Chef looks back and forth before marching in a line down the dock.
"Now, today's challenge will not be an easy one. In fact, there's a chance one of you will not make it out of here alive."
"Like that's any different than normal." Trent mocks.
"You're one to talk, punching bag!" Chef replies snappily. "The assignment given to me today is to make sure all of you pass my boot camp by the end of the day. But, let's be honest, most of you are as fit for the army as a chubby, stupid, little baby. Whichever 'team' still has members on their team by the end of the bootcamp wins immunity. Bootcamp does not end until one team is completely reduced to ash! And I will reduce you to ash."
(Confessional: Gwen)
"Okay, whoever's idea it was to make him the host of today's challenge, I have to say… I'm kind of impressed."
(Confessional: Lindsay)
"Gym class was never one of my specialties, so I'm kind of scared for today's challenge! I also lacked in chemistry, biology, math, English and history, but those classes were impossible. Plus I did get a sweet C in French class! That stands for yes in French, hehe."
(Confessional end)
"Uh.. excuse me, what happened to Chris?"
"IF YOU MUST KNOW… It's his break day. But that's none of yo concern! Now listen up! Rule number one: you will address me as Master Chief. Do you understand that?"
"Yes, Master Chief!" Everyone calls back.
"Rule number two.. You will sleep only when I tell you to sleep, and you will eat only when I tell you to eat! Which brings me to rule number three.. When you are ready to drop out, you will head to the end of the dock and ring that bell!" Chef points at the shiny gold bell located at the end of the dock. "I'd like to have at least one quitter quit before the end of the day. Which means that nobody advances in this here challenge until somebody lets their team down! Is that clear?"
"Yes, Master Chief!" Geoff and DJ clamor. Chef walks down the dock.
"Get into a single file line and march behind me until we get to the first trial!" The cast obliges, following Chief's footsteps.
"Wait, what about breakfast?" Owen panically asks.
Chef turns, a glare in his eyes. "No breakfast until somebody drops out."
"NOOOO-"
"SHUT UP!"
At the beach, or lack thereof, Chef sits on a lawn chair next to two canoes, one Bass themed and the other Gopher themed. "Listen up! Both teams will be holding these canoes over their heads. If I see any of you take yo hands off the canoe, you're down a player. And nobody eats lunch until someone drops out."
The castmates all look at each other worriedly, with Trent and Duncan looking at Owen like he's about to explode. His stomach growls.
"Canoes up!" Chef commands, hands resting behind his head. Both teams lift their canoes above their heads, with some like Lindsay and Harold already feeling the uncomfortability in their elbows. Others like Geoff do not.
"This isn't so bad." The party dude says.
"Yeah, how hard could this be?" DJ adds.
Two. Hours. Pass.
Two hours of standing outside as the sun hits its peak and blasts heat down onto the twelve teens. Their arms are practically tooth picks compared to the lard of a boat laying on their palms. Gwen grunts as Trent wipes a sweat bead off of her forehead with his sleeve. "You okay?" He asks.
"Does it look like I'm okay?" Gwen snappily asks.
"Yeah, dumb question.." Trent mutters, looking away with a hint of annoyance in his tone.
"Gwen.. I swear, you better not drop out." Heather growls.
"Ugh.. focus on keeping your canoe up." LeShawna says.
"It's hard for a girl like her to focus when she isn't being motivated by her next dick appointment." Gwen mocks.
"Tactless as always, I see." Heather replies.
LeShawna can't take it anymore. "You know what?-"
"Stop blabbering!" Chef shouts, shutting the women up quickly enough. Trent gives Owen a knowing look. His stomach growls in response.
"Hey, you can do this big guy, just hang in there."
"Your encouragement is awesome, dude, but uh, I don't think my stomach's ready for even MORE food deprivation."
"Just try to tough it out. For the team."
(Confessional: Heather)
"I dunno about you, but I think between Gwen and Trent, Trent is the far safer option to push into a pack of gators. Metaphorically, anyways, Lindsay won't do it for real. Anyways, Trent has more friends, is physically stronger and maybe even mentally superior. So, while Gwen plots my murder and LeShawna reconsiders our friendship, I was strategizing on a way to drive those two love birds out of the game."
(Confessional: Lindsay)
"Heather still wants me to hurt people to get them out of the game, but I didn't even mean to in the first place! Great thing my revolve is like, really strong."
(Confessional end)
Four more hours pass. It's now the afternoon, the sun only shining brighter. Chef sits on the Bass canoe while its carriers struggle to maintain his weight. "Pump it up, soldiers, pump it up!" He hollers.
"Ugh, what's your damage?" The surfer girl barks.
"Never ask a marine what his damage is, private!" Bridgette rolls her eyes.
Out of nowhere walks in Chris, his hands behind his back and a big smirk on his face. "Putting 'em through it, eh?"
"Working hard or hardly working." Chef replies with a nod.
Courtney gasps. "Oh, Chris, you're finally back! Can we please get a lunch break? We're starving over here!"
Chris chuckles. "Did they miss lunch?"
"Sure did. They must not be as hungry as they want you to think." Chef taunts.
"No! I'm very hungry!" Owen shouts.
"Then drop out, sucker!" Chef screams through the megaphone.
"No, Owen, stay in the game!" Trent pleads.
"Ah..!" Owen teeters between throwing the canoe and staying, before finally settling back in his place, his entire team sighing in relief. "Okay, okay.."
"Lemme get a lift." Chris sits on the Gopher canoe with a satisfied sigh. "Now this is the life."
"Damn straight, brother." Chef nods in solidarity. Meanwhile, Duncan grabs the hem of Harold's underwear without him knowing, turning back to Geoff to whisper in his ear.
"Now for the bait and switch." Geoff seems unamused, and even winces when Duncan pulls Harold's underwear so much that it rips.
Harold turns around, clutching his butt. "Ow! Hey, do you want us to lose, Dorkan?"
"What makes you say that? You're the one with your arms off the boat."
"What was that?!"
"N-nothing!"
"Hm… Looks like it."
"Dude, you gotta stop bullying Harold."
"Why would I ever do that?"
"Because he's a real MVP for the team, and he hasn't done anything to you recently."
"The knife?"
"I already told you I fixed it!"
"Tch, whatever, dudes. If it'll make you happy."
"It's not about that, man. It's about our team spirit. We can't be a clique, we should be a party."
"Alright, party boy, I getcha."
(Confessional: Duncan)
"I don't bully Harold for Geoff, or DJ, or even Courtney. I bully Harold for me. I find him really funny. I don't care if anyone else does."
(Confessional end)
Duncan walks out of the confessional, with Harold listening in, visibly angry. "So he won't stop, huh? I'll keep that in mind." He starts sneaking back to camp.
Back at the challenge, it's now dusk. Everyone is sweaty, dirty and smelly. DJ breathes like an asthmatic, Bridgette's hair is wet and sticky and disheveled, and Owen is pale. But none look more tired than Lindsay. At least Chris had left to finish up his meeting.
"Twenty five of us left the jungle that day. Only five came back out."
Gwen yawns. "What war were you even a part of?"
"One you would never understand." Chef replies melancholy.
"Whatever. He so wasn't in a war." She says with a roll of her eyes. Trent nods lazily.
"Ugh.. you guys… I can't do this anymore.. I no longer have feeling in my arms.." Lindsay mutters, taking her hands off the canoe to slowly lumber her way towards the end of the dock.
"Don't you dare, Lindsay!"
Lindsay ignores Heather, banging her tired head against the bell. The Bass smile, tossing their canoe after Chef jumps off of it to approach and console Lindsay. She rests her head against his shoulder while he puts a hand on hers, her team watching with disappointment. "Listen.. You fought hard and good… AND LET YOUR DAMN TEAM DOWN! GO HIT THE SHOWERS!"
Lindsay abides, running away. Before Heather can even try to chase after her distressed 'friend', Chef calls out, "The rest of you, head to the mess hall for supper! Dinner is served."
"Holy New Year's Eve, finally!" Owen celebrates.
In the mess hall, everyone but Lindsay is present for dinner. Chef and Chris stand before them, though no food can be smelled or seen. There are four trash bins in front of them, though. "Listen up, maggots! You all have ten minutes to eat your supper before night training begins,"
"Night training? What?" A series of disgruntled voices answer back.
"Enough bitching! This is nothing compared to what real soldiers have to go through." Chef finishes.
"Um, Master Chief, where's the food?" Gwen asks.
"You're looking at it." Master Chief deviously says, opening the lids of the trash cans. The contestants look into it with disgust. Owen pulls out a fuzzy, moldy bread.
"This all leftover trash from this mornings breakfast."
"In war, you take what you can get!"
"Well, I think they can manage with the time they have. I'm heading to craft services. Care to join me?"
"Slide me some of that." Chef follows Chris out the door. Owen throws the bread in his mouth before immediately vomiting into the trash can he took it from.
"Ugh!.. This sucks!" He breathes through his nose. The others look doubly revolted now.
Heather wrinkles her nose. "No. No way. I'm not eating this."
"That's one thing we can agree on." Gwen replies.
"Do you two ever stop fighting?" Trent says with a yawn.
"I would if she wasn't always up my ass." Heather answers.
"Just checking." Trent states, walking towards a table to sit next to LeShawna and rest his head.
"Yeah, there's no way in hell I'm eating any of this." Courtney agrees, throwing her empty tray to the recycling bin. Duncan passes her by with a cup of something orange.
"Don't care for today's specials, Princess?" He snarkily asks.
"I'm going to be running for office one day, and nobody is going to pull up a picture of me eating garbage." Courtney proudly states. Bridgette can't help but be amused.
(Confessional: Bridgette)
"I do look up to Court, but sometimes she's just really funny, too. Unintentionally, yes, but still really funny."
(Confessional end)
"Hey, Harold," Duncan greets the dork, who's sitting by himself playing something on his 3DS. "I felt really bad about the whole body pillow thing, so here, I found you some apple juice."
Harold glares up at him. "There's no way you actually think I'm that gullible. From the sandwiches with lotion in them, to the fresh underwear thing, to the bucket prank, to the worst pantsing of my life, I don't trust you!"
Duncan shrugs. "Suit yourself. I was just trying to be nice."
DJ puts a firm hand on his shoulder. "Yo, lay off him."
Duncan turns around, somewhat startled. "What? I was."
"Mhhm. Duncan, man, I can hardly see, and even I know what you're doing here." DJ says, his eyes dreary from exhaustion, but his demeanor still strong and full of heart. Geoff also approaches, hands on his hips like a stern parent.
"Stupid prank anyways." Duncan rolls his eyes, dumping the mystery liquid into the trash.
"What was that?" Courtney asks.
"Oh, just some kitchen grease. It would have been awesome if it weren't for sergeant buzzkill over here." Duncan points at DJ.
Now Courtney had her hands on her hips. What's with all the judgment? "You are so immature! I hope you're proud of yourself."
He takes a step closer to her. "Alright, look: I know you like me, he knows you like me, she knows you like me, everyone knows you like me! So, if you wanted to kiss me, I might just let you." He says, full confidence in his cocky face.
"And here I thought you were nice." Courtney spits.
Shocked by her sudden reveal, he makes a throat slit gesture nervously. "Pssht, me? Nice? Ahaha, yeah right."
"Why'd you ever think that? Dude's from juvenile hall." Geoff questions.
Courtney folds her arms. "Nevermind. He's just as mean and nasty and gross and annoying as he wants you to believe. Enjoy your garbage!"
As Courtney leaves, Geoff and DJ look down at Duncan with raised brows. He shrugs innocently, a big awkward smile on his face.
(Confessional: Harold)
He's still playing on his 3DS. "Duncan being nice is about as likely as my chances of finding a shiny in Sun and Moon. I'll get you someday, shiny Jinx, you can't elude me forever!"
(Confessional end)
We cut to the beach from earlier, now at night time, where Grand Master Chief dances along to Michael Jackson's thriller, with all of the contestants bar Lindsay of course, dancing along in front of him. Stilted, stiff, but perfectly executed simple dance moves from everyone in the cast. Chef's aggressive pelvic thrusts hypnotize the cast.
(Confesional: LeShawna)
"Finally, a fun challenge! And it's something I can do. I love dancing, I just wish I knew someone who didn't hate my moves."
(Confessional: Heather)
"LeShawna dances like an elephant balancing on stills. It's embarrassing to call her my friend with moves like that. I'm really glad you don't show these."
(Confessional end)
Similarly to Harold from earlier, LeShawna watches Heather leave the confessional, hiding behind the wall, the Thriller music in the distance casting the perfect mood for betrayal.
(Confessional: LeShawna)
"I knew it! She followed right after me, pretty smile and all as I went to use this thing, just to make fun of me! What kind of hoe ass bitch does she think she is?! She is gonna get it!"
(Confessional end)
Eventually, Duncan walks up to the boombox producing the music and turns it off. Everyone gasps, except LeShawna who just looks pissed. "Seriously?" She says.
"Duncan! What are you doing?!" Courtney carefully scolds. Chef glares down at him, fists tightened.
"Once one of us drops out, we're done for the day." Duncan nonchalantly says.
"In your case? Not a chance. Drop and gimme twenty!" Chef barks.
Duncan rolls his eyes before complying.
"The rest of you, move on to the next challenge in the mess hall. Bass, he'll be with you shortly." Master Chief mocks.
"I'm not short, I just wear baggy clothes." Duncan grunts between push ups.
"I did not ask for your wrong opinion! Anyone else have any extra comments?"
"Uh, yeah, can I go to the bathroom?" Gwen asks.
The goth stands in the communal washroom with a pair of gloves on and a mop in a bucket. "Not exactly what I had in mind."
In the mess hall once again, the Bass sit on their usual picnic table, while the Gophers sit on the other. LeShawna is keeping her distance from Heather, sitting between Gwen and Trent with a look of disgust at the raven haired girl, who is none the wiser as she listens to Chef explain the challenge, his hands behind his back and his head held high. A paper and pencil rests on every campers' area.
"For your next challenge, you have to write a three hundred word essay all about how much you love me. You have twenty minutes. I want all lines filled and perfect grammar. If I catch any spelling errors, you do not reach the word limit in time, or you fall asleep, you are eliminated! Time, start." He taps his watch, the challenge begins.
Once time is up, it's clear who's actually trying and who's slacking off. Heather looks insanely frustrated, tapping the pencil against her temple. Owen is practically drooling, trying his damndest to stay away, staring down at the piece of paper now wet with saliva. LeShawna spitefully writes line after line after line, eventually breaking her pencil tip before Chef collects her paper. Gwen decides to just doodle on her paper, already finished writing a sarcastic hit piece on the brolic man. Trent is passed out dead. Chef shakes him awake.
"Wake up, soldier! You're outta here."
He stirs awake. "I… fell asleep?"
Gwen says, pushing on his shoulder gently. "Go get some rest, babe."
"I will, but-"
"This ain't your show, private! Hit the showers!" Chef barks.
Trent rolls his eyes, blowing Gwen a kiss on his way out. She catches it, giving him a tired smile.
On the Bass table, Duncan smirks as he proudly folds his arms and leans back. Harold is in the middle of writing when Chef pulls it away. He instantly detects that it isn't three hundred words yet. "Geekwad, show me your war face!"
Harold panics before gritting his teeth and striking a pose that makes him look like Gandalf. "You shan't pass, Master Chief!"
"Hm… Nah, get outta here." Chef sways his hand dismissively. Harold slumps his shoulders.
"Gosh, I was only trying to be thorough!"
"Move it, son. And bring DJ with you." He points at the snoring Momma's boy. Harold taps him on the shoulder, waking him up.
"Huh? Aw, man. Sorry, y'all.." DJ stands up, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Yeah, sorry, y'all, it's past little DJ's bedtime!" He mocks, shaking his head. DJ and Harold shamefully walk out the door.
(Confessional: Owen)
"I can't believe I lasted longer than Trent! I wonder if I could pull through and win the challenge again? Ah, I hope so!"
(Confessional: Trent)
"Usually, it takes forever for me to get to sleep. I guess Chef's really just that boring."
(Confessional end)
Chef picks one to read at random after also taking Geoff and Bridgette's, both of whom seem exhausted, and Courtney's, who seems perfectly fine, as if this challenge was nothing. He clears his throat, a somewhat excited smile on his face as he begins reading. "I love Master Chief Hatchet so much, because he is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very…. This is just one run-on sentence with five pages of very's inbetween!"
"It's three hundred words exactly. You can count if you don't believe me." Duncan replies, owning up to it with that smirk.
Chef rolls his eyes. "Boy, you're really trying my patience. You want to run five laps around this island before sunrise?!"
"Yes please, sir!" Duncan teases with a salute.
"No, he's just kidding! He's going to behave! Aren't you?" Courtney vouches, grabbing Duncan's shoulders before pulling him away from Chef. Her hands remain on his chest and shoulder, earning a sly expression from him. "What are you trying to do? Get eliminated?" She whispers.
"I didn't know you cared." He replies slyly.
"I don't! I just don't want to lose this challenge! So stop being such a screw up and do what you're told for once. Okay?" She walks away frustratedly.
Somehow, he stays frozen, his smile faded. "...Screw up. Hm." That doesn't sit right with him.
Geoff grins, holding out a fist to bump for him. "She's so into you, dude."
Duncan looks at him. "Huh? Yeah. She's so into me." He bumps his fist.
Courtney approaches Bridgette. "Ugh, what is his deal?"
"There's something going on there, Court." Bridgette replies.
"Yeah, it's called delinquency."
"I mean beneath the surface. Kind of like you."
She scowls. "Ah, what? I mean.. How do you know?"
"I have a knack for these sorts of things. I am an empath after all."
"So an instinct tells you that me and Duncan have similar backgrounds?"
"You read The Notebook, Courtney. You tell me."
(Confessional: Courtney)
"Stupid book, challenging my pretenses.. So what if we have some things in common? He's still vile, and brutish, and dangerous.. Hm.."
(Confessional end)
Facing a viscous obstacle course consisting of mud on the floor, seven foot wooden walls, ramps with dangling ropes in between them, tire hoops strung together with duct tape and a set of swinging axes hanging from trees, Chef explains the next challenge.
"You will all run through this course until you can pass it in under one minute. Those who cannot behave themselves within the course," Chef glares at Duncan, who blows him a kiss back. "Or who cannot possibly finish, or otherwise drop out, will be eliminated! Am I making myself clear?" He leans down to speak to Duncan specifically.
"Crystal." The delinquent answers.
"Go, maggots, go!"
Chef watches as Geoff, Bridgette and Courtney zoom past, followed closely by Heather, LeShawna, Gwen and Harold. Duncan hangs behind Owen to watch the guy run ahead, already heavily breathing.
Geoff and Bridgette jump through the tire hoops one at a time with relative ease, with Geoff landing on his feet and Bridgette doing a cartwheel to launch herself further than the Gopher girls, Heather and LeShawna. LeShawna climbs through first, noticeably struggling due to her girth. Heather impatiently taps her foot as Courtney too climbs through the hoop.
"Come on, LeShawna, we're freaking losing because of you! Can't you spend a few hours of the day putting off that weight, or do you need to be carried?"
LeShawna snaps, landing on the other side with a mean look on her face. As Heather finally climbs through the hoop, LeShawna pulls her aggressively forward, planting her face in the mud whilst sitting on her back, throwing mud clumps all over the back of her head. "You need to be taught a little something called fuck around and find out!"
"Gllk! LeShawna! M-my hair! You.. you're hurting me!" Heather gargles, struggling to the best of her ability while her arm was suspended behind her back. Gritting her teeth, she only continues pouring mud on her until Chef comes over and picks her up, Gwen and Duncan watching with smirks on their faces, fist bumping without looking at each other. Owen finally manages to squeeze through the tires, breaking it in the process.
"That's enough, maggot! I like your mirth, but that is no way to show respect to your sergeant! Both of you bozos are out!"
Heather brushes off the mud on her face, but she already looks like Swamp Thing, so it's a little too late. "What!? What did I do? She attacked me!"
"Your childish ass got yourself in this situation, and I'll be damned if I fully get you out. Just hit the showers, girl." He shoves LeShawna away.
LeShawna shoves a finger into her ex friends face. "We are done being friends. Now I know who you really are."
Heather, shocked and pissed, puts her hands on her hips. "What did I-.." ding! "You were listening to my confessional, weren't you?" She doesn't sound offended, or even caught off guard. But she sounds like she's slowly realizing something grander.
"Damn straight. 'Dances like an elephant.' Well, you fight like an anorexic giselle on cleats." She pushes Heather roughly, turning on her heel to walk away. "I'm outta here."
(Confessional: Heather)
Singing: "I've got a golden ticket. I've got a golden twinkle in my eye!~"
(Confessional end)
Duncan hangs back to make a sly comment. "General, the disrespect is palpable, sir!" He mock salutes.
Chef furrows his brows, pointing away. "Get yo ass going, boy!"
"Aw, awhaha!" Harold gasps, apparently falling face first into the mud after climbing the climbing wall and slipping.
"Chef, we got a problem here!" Geoff calls, kneeling down to assist the dork. Duncan, Gwen and Master Chief approach. Harold throws up a sea of mud before coughing.
"Too.. much.. Mud!"
Duncan and Geoff help him up as Chef points towards the opposite end of the finish line. "Report to the infirmary immediately, private, your time on my force is over!"
Harold shamefully gets up, walking away with his shoulders slouched. Gwen shrugs, running towards the next obstacle.
(Confessional: Gwen)
"Wow.. I never expected LeShawna to take my side. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she is, I just.. I'm surprised. Impressed, even."
(Confessional end)
"Wow. Poor guy." The delinquent mocks.
"BACK ON THE COURT, SOLDIERS, NOW!" Chef yells, scaring Geoff into doing what he says. Duncan doesn't move an inch. Chef glares at him. "One false move from you and I'll be on you like stink on a poo wagon. Understood?"
"I look forward to it, sir!" He salutes, running behind Geoff and Gwen. Chef rolls his eyes.
Geoff gets himself tangled up in one of the ropes, which slows down his team as Bridgette untangles him. Owen is able to clear the ropes with only a minor struggle and an awkward motion or two, and Gwen easily slips by just as Geoff gets untangled. Courtney impatiently waits for Bridgette to cross before doing so herself. Duncan runs up to the rope and clears it with ease.
The final part of the course, the swinging axes, proves most difficult for a guy like Owen. Though Gwen is able to slip under, he begins crawling underneath the axes only to begin sinking, all while the Bass passes him by. Duncan smirks. "Fallen soldier, I salute you!"
However, as soon as he stands up, Master Chief is there waiting for him, arms crossed. "You just earned yourself twenty push-ups!"
"Thank you!" He stands up, giving Chef a sweet, sarcastic kiss on the nose like Bugs Bunny would to Elmer Fudd. Everyone gasps. Chef's ears turn red, a bulging vein throbbing on his forehead as pure rage fills his eyes.
"I think you pushed him too hard, dude." Geoff whispers nervously.
"I… think you're right." Duncan mutters back, the smirk previously on his face wiped off and replaced with dread.
"One night. Solitary confinement.. In the boathouse." Everyone looks scared for him. Duncan tries to brush it off, folding his arms with a roll of his eyes.
"Psht.. couldn't be that bad."
The boathouse is filled with sharp fishing hooks, live fish that reek of the salty, polluted ocean, buckets of Chef's mystery meat that also reek of something awful, and there's not a light to be seen, the only way to see everything being the natural moonlight coming in from a singular hard-to-reach window. Duncan sits on a box handcuffed to a beam near the corner, on hand under his chin.
"I shoulda kept my big mouth shut."
A wolf howls in the distance.
The remaining teens sit and eat a real meal in the unusually quiet mess hall. Gwen and Owen sit across from each other, one pale goth poking at her porridge with a metal spoon while the blonde Big-O scarfs down helping after helping. Gwen squints at him.
"Do you actually like that stuff?"
"Mm.. Well, it's no triple gooberberry sundae back home, but it's still really dang good! Especially after an intense day of training." He continues his destruction of the 'food' in front of him.
(Confessional: Owen)
"I still can't believe it. In a physical challenge, I'm in the final two of my team! Woohoo! This is awesome! And I'm with Gwen! Yeah, she's a bit of a downer, but she's kinda hot, too, hehehe.. Uh.. don't tell Trent I said that. Or Izzy.. Or Justin."
(Confessional end)
On the other side of the dining room, Geoff and Bridgette share a glance between each other, both of them looking surprisingly downtrodden. They notice this similarity immediately.
"Hey. Doing okay?" Geoff asks.
"Uh… to tell you the truth, no. Not really. How about you?"
He sighs. "I feel like total crap."
"Because of the training?" Bridgette asks, stalling.
He shrugs. "Eh…"
"Because of.. DJ?" She whispers, even though she knows the CIT sitting next to her already knows.
Geoff nods. "I feel like such a douchebag, Bridge. We gotta tell him."
"I know.. It feels so wrong, especially since we've let this go on for three days."
"Duncan gave us an easy out. We could just ride the tide."
"We both know we're too good to do that. It's not right. I mean, what if you had someone important in your life just vanish without a trace one minute, and then be replaced without your knowledge the next?"
"I think I'd be devastated if you were like, an alien Bridgette shapeshifted to look like her."
She cracks a smile. "Heh, so you get my point. Besides, we have to atone for poor Bunny's death."
"You're right. Little guy did not deserve to go out like that."
"So, tomorrow, when he's awake?"
"No. Tonight. Gotta be tonight."
"Alright. I'll be right behind you." Bridgette places her hands on top of his and squeezes, offering a supportive smile. Geoff smiles back. All the while, Courtney is completely dissociating, watching the door without a scent of porridge on her breath.
"I'm going to check on him." Courtney stands up, picking up a flashlight hanging on a cord near the entrance.
"You like him." Geoff teases, smiling at her lazily.
"I do not like him! Bridge, back me up here." Courtney shoots back defensively. Bridgette looks between the two with a knowing, wise stare.
"Court.. Follow your heart. If you don't like him, then you don't like him. If you do.. Go to that boathouse, girl."
Courtney rolls her eyes. "Hmph. I don't like him. He's rude, and rebellious, and totally not my type… I'm gonna go check up on him." She heads for the door, leaving into the night. Geoff holds up his fist.
"She likes him."
Bridgette punches his fist, grinning with him. "Definitely."
The boathouse is a ways away from the rest of camp, located on the west side of Wawanakwa by the second dock, which is much more rusty and worn down. Courtney's flashlight is the only light aside from the moon guiding the path. She opens the creaky, wooden door, poking her head in along with the flashlight.
"Hello? Duncan?"
The delinquent is carving something into the wooden beam he's chained to, his eyes flashing towards the door. He quickly changes his somewhat frustrated frown into a happy smirk. "Princess!"
She rolls her eyes. "Ugh, I wish you'd stop calling me that."
He shrugs. "So.. come to claim that kiss?"
She kneels down to hand him the bowl of paste. "Even pigs deserve a meal."
"Eugh… I'll pass on the prison schlop, thanks."
"Yeah, well, that's all Chef would serve us after our 'pathetic' performance on the obstacle course."
She sets the meal in his lap before pulling out a wooden box, dusting the top off with a handkerchief before sitting on it. Duncan tries to pull the spoon out to feed himself, but it remains lodged in the porridge, so he literally throws it away.
"Why do you egg Chef on like that? You know it'll only get you in trouble." Courtney asks, swinging one leg over the other. Duncan shoots back a smirk.
"Why are you so uptight all the time?"
"I am not uptight!"
"You always follow the rules."
"Well, you always have to break them."
"Only the ones I want to."
Insecurely, she looks around at the floor. "Okay, so.. Maybe I do follow the rules. I guess that makes me a big, uptight loser in your books, right?"
"Maybe."
She stands up, pacing around. "Ugh!"
"Okay, so then why do you follow them?"
She grabs a fish from the bucket of them. "Because not following them gets you locked up in a fish cabin!" She then tosses it to the side.
"But I'm in the fish cabin with you, aren't I?" His smirk makes her knees weak. She has to hide her smile by looking away, hands behind her back. "But oh no, no, that's not what I meant."
She blinks, looking into his eyes. "What do you mean then?"
"Last week, in the forest during that stupid deer challenge, you probed my mind about my past, about why I do the things I do-"
"And barely got anywhere, mind you. All you ended up telling me was that you rebel especially against your family."
Duncan seems shocked. "You.. remember that?"
"Of course! Why wouldn't I?"
Duncan looks around, then back up at her. "Let's play a little game."
"In this nasty, fishy cabin?"
"Does it look like I can go back to the cabins?" He points at his handcuffs.
"Well… I guess not. What game? And don't say seven minutes in heaven."
He snaps his fingers. "Rats, ya got me. No. A dumber game than that. I'll tell you a story from my past to contextualize my present, then you do the same. Whoever has the more fucked up backstory, wins."
"What are the rules?"
He nearly chuckles, but manages to hold back. "There are no rules."
"No rules?"
"Come on, Courtney."
"Alright, alright.. I guess it's only fair that you go first, since you barely gave me anything to begin with."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. And you got yourself stuck in this mess in the first place." She sits back down across from him.
"Okay.. I guess I'll start with the fact that I come from a long lineage of cops. My brother's a cop, my sister-in-law's a cop, my uncle's a commissioner, my dad's a cop, my mom was a beat cop, my grandpa was a veteran, and my grandma's a sergeant."
"And ironically you find yourself in prison more times than you change your socks."
"I resent that statement."
She laughs. "Heh.. so that's why you rebel? Because your family is so by the books?"
"I guess it's because of that. I rebel because it's fun. Because I don't wanna live life by some big mouthed asshat's rules. I'm my own man. Yeah, I follow some rules, the ones I like, but otherwise, I'm not gonna listen to anything some guy with a badge says."
"Wow.. what's your last name?"
"Nelson."
"That name sounds familiar."
"Like I said, long lineage of cops. Maybe one or two arrested you during one of your neurotic episodes."
"Oh, hahaha. I guess it's my turn then, huh?"
"I guess it is. What's your damage, princess?"
She doesn't immediately start speaking like he did. She swallows, plays with her fingers, messes with her hair, then sighs nervously. "...I've never told anyone this before."
"Uh.. not even Bridgette?"
"She doesn't know everything. It feels sort of wrong."
"Because your parents wouldn't like it. But they're not here right now."
"...My mother is a Korean American whose family moved here with little to nothing to their names. Similarly, my father is a hard working Dominican immigrant who despises North American customs, but against all odds became a defense attorney whose name is known across Canada: Vin Barlow. Living up to that man has been my life's goal since I began schooling. I was a straight A teacher's pet in elementary school, and in middle school I was on student council and the debate team. By high school, I'm running for student council president with a less than popular image among my peers, and I've been completely isolated in the pursuit of my studies. There was this one time in middle school. I remember the day exactly as December 12th, this one pretty girl in my class asked me if I wanted to go ice skating for her birthday because she admired me. So I said yes, of course, and told my parents I'd be out. But midterms were going to begin in a few months, and I had already only gotten a pitiful B+ on my first exam. So, I had to tell her no so I could study for a paper not given out until February, and as a result she told my entire class that I was an uptight stick in the mud poser with no interest in anything but my studies.
Next week mom and dad had a big fight and didn't speak to each other at all. It was terrifying, especially as a kid. When I asked mom what was happening, she told me that she never married dad out of love, and that everything I should aspire to be should be done for business reasons, because no matter what, nothing hurts more than a hit to the wallet. Nothing hurts more than begging for a place to stay or a bowl of soup to eat from. That's also why she'll never divorce him. It would hurt everyone financially."
"...So your parents fucked you up bad too, huh?"
She shakes her head in denial. "They didn't mess me up. They're setting me down a path of success and profit."
"And you're miserable."
"I…"
"You wanna know how I got over my depression?"
"I am not depressed."
"Neither am I. Anymore. But what I did was go off on my own terms. I stopped listening to mom and dad and their overly strict rules. I stopped getting A's and B's and started aiming for C's and D's. I didn't give up on my passions, I just honed in on the ones I actually cared about instead of lame piano practice or soccer. I lived as who I am, not as whatever honor student, hall monitor freedom fighter my parents wanted. I am a freedom fighter, for myself. And tonight, I'm fighting for your freedom, too."
She blushes, scratching her thighs bashfully whilst looking down at her feet. "Duncan.. I-"
"Save it. You hungry for some peanut butter and jam?" He points at her.
A small smile returns to her lips. "Ha! Are you kidding? All we've been offered for the last two days is this grool, and I haven't eaten any of it. But Chef will never let us go, let alone you."
"See, that's the problem with your thinking. The trick is," His handcuff comes undone, his other hand tossing his knife up in the air casually. "to not ask for it."
She looks almost star struck. "Wow.. Do you have some on you?"
"No. But I do know where to get some. It will involve breaking quite a few rules though. Are you in?" He stands up, quirking his eyebrow at her. She bites her bottom lip, their faces way too close. She looks away, smiling uncontrollably before giving him a high five.
"Let's do it!"
"Well alright then!"
We see a new location lit from the inside by actual working light bulbs, as opposed to the half working, constantly blinking bulbs the campers are used to. Disguising themselves as bushes, Duncan and Courtney sneak up towards the craft services tent, a large, pale tent with a tall red flag on top with Chris' face stitched onto it.
"How did you find where this place was?" Courtney whispers, popping her head out from her disguise.
"Just follow the tire tracks." Duncan whispers back, smirking.
"Sharp.."
"There's more of my ingenuity where that came from, honey."
They pop back into their disguises, inching closer to the tent.
Inside the tent is a large dining table with food galore on it. Actual, delicious, specially crafted food. Sandwiches, watermelon slices, mashed potatoes, an orange flambe cake and even a platter of exotic cheeses. Duncan and Courtney crawl under the table.
"Slowly.. Slowly.. Crawl." Duncan whispers extra quietly. Courtney can barely hold in her giggling, an excited look on her face that the cameras have never caught before ever present.
"I can't believe we're doing this…" She whispers.
"Twenty-five of us went into that jungle that night. Only five came back out." Chef repeats, chowing down on a plate of steak. Chris sits beside him, both of them unaware of Duncan and Courtney's plan. They make it to the fridge undetected, opening it. Duncan leads, grabbing the peanut butter he promised her before handing it off to her, then doing the same with the strawberry jam. She places both in a bag she brought from home, giggling excitedly.
"If we get caught.. We're so dead." Duncan can only smile back at her, thoroughly enjoying this wild side of her personality.
"I mean, come on! I am nothing without my stubble." Chris offhandedly remarks, massaging his own face.
"Amen, brother." Replies Master Chief.
Duncan grabs a bottle of vodka, and some grape soda, putting both in the bag. He watches Courtney's eyes, but she doesn't seem to care, only giggling harder, her hand over her mouth as a suppressor. "Are you sure you wanna go through with this?" Duncan asks as Courtney pulls a fish out from the bag, it's tail still wagging desperately.
"Hell yes! This is the most fun I've had here yet!"
She places the fish down where a plate of desserts once sat. Swapping the two, the desserts go in the bag and the fish goes in the fridge, right next to a carton of milk with an odd 'missing' poster for Ezekiel.
"This is a little present.. Courtesy of the Killer Bass." Courtney says. Duncan can't keep his eyes off of her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
"Now you're learning~"
They close the fridge door, crawling out of the tent before making a mad sprint for the cabins, the CIT squealing with excitement as she makes her great escape. Duncan follows closely behind.
When the duo return, they end up sharing the food they have with everyone, including the enemy team, in the Bass cabin.
(Confessional: Courtney)
"The thought crossed my mind to not give the enemy our food.. But then I thought, who the fuck cares? Let's just let loose and have fun! This is a camp after all, isn't that the point of these things?" She takes a shot of the alcohol from earlier. "Woooohoooo!"
(Confessional: Duncan)
"I've had girlfriends before, flings, whatever you wanna call 'em. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has rocked my dog collar more than Courtney."
(Confessional: Bridgette)
"Yeah.. she likes him. Maybe a bit too much."
(Confessional end)
Soft rave music plays on Owen's phone as he eats his third brownie. Lindsay squeezes Duncan like a teddy bear, much to the delinquents' chagrin. "Thank you soooo much for doing this! I know we're enemies, and you're totally a mean guy, but you made my night!"
"I didn't do anything for you, Lindsay. But you're welcome, I guess. Now go bug Heather, or something."
"Okay!~" She chirps, giggling excitedly as she dances around the room, a big smile on her face. Trent sits on the floor with Gwen coddled in his lap, both of them wasted, feeding each other desserts.
"And what was with all those lame war stories?" Gwen laughs between mouthfuls of food, talking to LeShawna who is sitting on a bed. "He is so demented!"
"Mm, these nails were never meant for combat training, know what I'm saying?" LeShawna says, chewing on a brownie.
"That didn't stop you from finally sticking it to Heather, though. Super fucking cathartic to watch, by the way, maaajoorrr props!" Gwen slurs, a big smile on her face.
Trent rolls his eyes, hugging Gwent tight so he can look down at her confused face. "Baby, I know you- I know you hate Heatherrr, but can we please stay talking shit about C-Chef?"
"Why? Cause you still like her or something, you cheater?" She questions, turning to face him with her eyebrows furrowed.
"W-what? No, of course not! I just… I'm like, bummed when you talk shit about her. She's like an outcast now, or something. It's not cool." Trent replies defensively.
"Heather got what she had coming to her, best you believe. But I ain't below talking behind people's backs. LeShawna ain't no hypocrite. So let's stop that while we're ahead." LeShawna says.
"Whatever.. You just wanna stick your dick inside her again, you douchebag.." Gwen spits on his face. He wipes it off as fast as he can before shoving her off of him and onto the floor.
"The fuck I don't! Leave my dick outta this."
Gwen gets weak, putting her hands on his chest. "Mm.. I don't want to."
He goes wide eyed. "Oh.. Uh.. r-right here?"
"No, dumbass, outside!" She yells in his face.
"Ewwww! Get the hell outta here, both of you!" LeShawna scolds, hands on her hips.
"Yes, ma'am! Wooohoooo, party!" Trent picks Gwen up like an ogre, hoisting her over his shoulder while he walks out of the cabin.
(Confessional: LeShawna)
"Note to self, stay away from Gwen and Trent when they're under the influence. That is not a situation you wanna be in."
(Confessional end)
"Aw, guys, gross!" Harold complains, pulling his covers over to find peanut butter smeared into a smiley face on his sheets. Duncan and Courtney both laugh at him, but nobody else is really finding the humor in the situation. Still, they stay out of it.
"Ya see, now that's a waste of good peanut butter! Hahahaha!" He chuckles, shaming Harold into a silent rage. The nerd takes his duffel bag and walks outside, every step filled with hatred and fury. As he steps out into the cold night air, he finds Heather, leaning on the porch railing staring into the night sky. He approaches her, placing the bag down next to himself as he leans next to her.
"Are you also brooding your social status?"
"...I am."
"Yeah. I've always been a bit of an outcast, but this is the worst humiliation I've ever suffered."
"Ever? What happened?"
"Duncan's constant harassment happened! The body pillow thing was so uncalled for, and the bucket of water, and the peanut butter smiley face on my bed! Gosh! He's the most deplorable, unlikable, uncool, shitty, despisable, irredeemable person I've ever met!"
"And what are you going to do about it?"
"Me? What can I do? I wanna get back at him. Maybe I could use my karate to humble him in front of everyone! Hi-yah!" Heather stops him from doing any ridiculous fighting moves, catching his hand.
"Look, Harold, I feel you. LeShawna just assaulted me in the middle of a challenge in front of an entire viewing world, making me look like a mud monster. She ruined my hair! Look at it!"
"It does kinda look like rat hair now.."
"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, you piece of-.." She sighs, gripping her hands into fists. "You can't fight Duncan. He's a strong guy. You need to hit him where it hurts, instead. Does he have any allies you know of?"
"Uh… there's Geoff and DJ. But I think he'd just get madder if I got them out, not sadder. He wouldn't feel my pain!"
"Either way.. I know you're a smart guy. Maybe there's a way we can both benefit from a little revenge. What do you say?" She holds her hand out for him to take. He shakes it with both hands.
"I say, bring it on!"
She gently pushes him back. "Thank you. You're the only person I can trust here now."
"Wow. Really?"
"Well, you, Owen and Lindsay."
"That's awesome!.. Can we make out or something?" Harold asks, licking his lips.
"Um… No way."
"Aww.." He looks down sadly.
Back inside the cabin, Courtney picks up another ice cream sandwich, the last one on the plate. Bridgette giggles, watching her pig out with amazement. "Okay, I think you've had enough."
"No, no, no, just- just one more!" A tipsy Courtney scarfs down the little sandwich in just a few bites, sighing contently as she licks her fingers, belching at the last pinky. Then her stomach begins to gurgle. "Oh.. Oh yeah, that one was a mistake…" She stands up, holding her mouth as she rushes to the porch. LeShawna, Lindsay, Owen and Bridgette exchange stares before bursting out laughing. Duncan fetches a glass of water before walking out behind her.
"Hey, Bridge.. Uh.. we're ready for that conversation." Geoff walks up to her, along with DJ, who's holding Bunny 2.
Bridgette's face falls. "Oh.. right now?"
"What conversation? Y'all have been acting real weird lately." DJ asks.
"You might wanna sit down for this one, dude.. It's rough." Geoff says, planting DJ's butt on a seat.
"Uh.. okay." He pets Bunny's innocent head over and over. Bridgette stands up next to Geoff, hands in her pockets as she looks into his beady eyes.
"DJ… there's no easy way to say this, so…-"
"We accidentally got Bunny killed." Geoff blurts out.
DJ raises a brow. "Guys.. he's right here."
Bridgette swallows. "That's not really Bunny, DJ.. That's another rabbit Duncan smuggled to make you feel better."
"Wait… you mean to tell me, that the real Bunny is dead and gone, and this one is a completely different one, that I only possess now because of a complete lie sculpted out by you guys so I wouldn't be heartbroken?"
Geoff nods slowly. "...Yes."
DJ looks down at his rabbit sadly. "Wow… That's uh… that's a lot, man. Like, a lot, a lot."
Geoff sits down next to him. "I'm sorry, dude. Duncan gave us the perfect out and we took it."
"We're really sorry, DJ. Please forgive us." Bridgette clasps her hands together.
DJ looks down at his feet for a few seconds, then down into his rabbit's sweet little eyes. He squeezes him tight. "Well… You did it out of the goodness of your heart. And I can never replace Bunny, obviously, but I love this little guy all the same. And I'm sure you guys never intended to get Bunny killed on purpose, right?"
"Are you crazy? No way! I can't forgive myself for what I've done." Bridgette replies.
"Same, dude. Same." Geoff adds.
"So… I forgive you. But no more lies to make me feel better. I want complete transparency in our friendship. Capiche?"
"Capiche, dude." Geoff nods.
"Totally." Bridgette answers.
"Thank you, guys. For real. Now let's enjoy this party. In honor of all this, I think I'm gonna call this little guy Bob, cause he's a happy little accident!"
The Bunny meows for some reason. Geoff, Bridgette and DJ give him a group hug.
Outside, Courtney hurls her guts out. Heather pulls Harold inside of the other side of the cabin, watching from the window. Duncan walks out behind her, offering a glass of water as she finishes up. "So, the princess has a dark side." He teases.
She takes the cup, drinking all of its contents before throwing it away in the bushes, the glass breaking in the process. She leans her back on the railing, her eyes strained. "Okay.. that was so gross. But it was like.. Once I did something bad, it was so much fun I just wanted more!" She stands up straight.
"Well, you could always give me that kiss, that'd be pretty bad~" Duncan replies, cupping her cheek with his thumb over her lips.
"You're still not my type." She swipes his hand away, brushing his mohawk with her hand.
He shrugs, turning his back to her with his arms folded and his eyes solemnly smirking. "Fine. Enjoy a peanut butter-less life."
Courtney plays along, her heartbeat wild. She props herself up against his back, cupping her hands together. "Thanks. Enjoy prison."
"I will." He nuzzles his backside into her. For one moment.. No, for one night, Courtney felt not only like she belonged, but that she was desired. Turning on her heel, she takes Duncan's jaw in her hands and crashes her lips against his. His shock melts into genuine romance as he kisses back. She takes her lips off of him, smirks and then walks back inside, passing Geoff and DJ. The duo rush towards a dreamy looking Duncan, wrapping their arms around him.
"Yes, dude!" Geoff cheers.
"Alright, Duncan!" DJ exclaims. Duncan shakes his head back to reality before nudging his friends with his elbows.
"Told ya she was into me."
Harold gasps. "That's our in: Courtney! That's the way we'll wound Duncan's soul!"
"Great! Now what about me and LeShawna?" Heather asks,
"I can't lie to you, Heather, I don't wanna hurt someone that hasn't hurt me. Especially not LeShawna.. But I will help you out." Harold replies. Heather quirks an eyebrow up impatiently.
"How?"
"I'm a proficient video editor. Back at home, I edit my high school newsroom broadcasts. It's a skill that comes in handy often when you need to make money and people are desperate to get their nudes off the internet."
"Really? Interesting to know."
"What I'll do is edit the confessional of you badmouthing LeShawna, then upload it onto a hard drive that you can then use to prove your innocence."
"That's a pretty good scheme. Nice work, brainiac." She pats him on the shoulder.
"Hardly. I'm much more of a Tony Stark than a Brainiac. We're both loners, we'd die for our causes, but we're also kind of bad boys. I'm just missing the rich part and the suit. Then I'd be the perfect real life Iron Man." Heather rolls her eyes at his rambling.
(Confessional: Harold)
"If I win the show, maybe I can impress Heather with my sweet Iron Man suit. I'm gonna be using most of my money to recreate the Avengers in real life, so no one will bully me again, and so I can be friends with She-Hulk. Ah.. She-Hulk."
(Confessional end)
"Now we just need a distraction so that you can pull out the confessional hard drive without Chris and Chef realizing. How are we gonna do-"
The speakers screech before Chef's voice comes on. "Attention remaining boot camp recruits: the next evolution of your training begins tomorrow morning at 0700 hours. Oh, and when I catch the Bass maggot who decided to steal my desserts, I'm gonna have your rear end cut off and have it mounted over my fireplace! Goodnight, suckers!"
"Well that certainly works out. I'm on the case, m'lady!" Harold salutes Heather before dorkily running off towards the confessional outhouse. Heather shakes her head, walking towards the Gopher cabin.
The next morning, both teams spectate the final challenge, with the Bass in the lead by one member. Bridgette, Geoff and Courtney hang onto a large tree branch by their legs, while Owen and Gwen do the same on another. Duncan, Harold, DJ, Heather, LeShawna, Trent and Lindsay watch from below anxiously as Master Chief sets a timer on his watch, pacing between the two groups.
"What you are experiencing.. Is an ancient form of torture. By now the blood will begin rushing to your head. You may experience dizziness, nausea, and a flushed appearance, all ending with the affected's painful descent downward."
Geoff closes his eyes, muttering under his breath that "Pain isn't real, pain isn't real, I'm surfing in Hawaii right now.."
But Bridgette isn't having that same luck. Her empathetic personality doesn't allow her to disassociate for long, and as such, she ends up falling off the branch first. "Woah!"
"Bridge!" Geoff and Courtney yell in unison. DJ runs up to her dizzy person and checks her head.
"She's alright, just frazzled! Hang in there, guys!" The animal expert flashes a thumbs up from the ground. Meanwhile, Harold walks up to Heather, handing her the altered hard drive as subtly as he can. She mouths a 'thank you' with a big smile before walking up to LeShawa, tapping her on the shoulder.
"LeShawna.. I feel horrible about our fight yesterday." LeShawna turns around with a scowl on her face, no patience in sight.
"Yeah, I would too if I got my butt kicked on international television."
Heather twitches. "Aside from that humiliation, I do forgive you if you're willing to apologize."
"Apologize? Apologize for what? You were talking shit to the entire world behind my back! If anything, you should be saying sorry." LeShawna pushes her finger into Heather's chest. Heather takes her hand off of her.
"I did no such thing. Can you prove that I talked behind your back?"
"I don't need to prove nothing! I know what I heard." She folds her arms, looking away.
"I have proof."
"What?"
"I have proof that I didn't say anything like what you described last night."
Lindsay walks up to the two, putting her hands on both of their shoulders. "Maybe you should hear her out, LeShawna. Heather's usually really nice to me, so I don't see why she'd talk behind your back!"
"Why? Like I said, I know what I heard."
"Just put this into your phone. I managed to find the hard drive with my confessional in it. You decide if it's what you thought it was." Heather gives her the hard drive, watching her. Lindsay looks between them as LeShawna sighs and stuffs the drive into her phone, playing the video that comes up.
(Confessional: Heather)
"LeShawna dances like I've never seen before. She is graceful. I'm sooo happy to be her friend."
(Confessional end)
"But.. but I.. How did you get this?" LeShawna is wide eyed and floored.
Heather wrinkles her nose convincingly. "It took.. A lot of digging."
"You watched everyone else's confessionals too?"
"Trust me, I skipped all of Owen's bathroom trips."
She turns her phone off and stares into the black mirror that greets her. "I… I misheard you? This is real?"
"Yes, LeShawna! And the fact that you beat me over it really rubs me the wrong way. Look, can't you see that all I really want is to make sure we win? That I do in fact treasure our alliance? Why else would I go through the trouble of all this just to prove my innocence?"
With her bottom lip quivering, she looks up into her eyes. "...Damn. I'm sorry, girl. I fucked up." LeShawna embraces her in a big hug, with Heather rubbing her back in response.
"I forgive you.. As long as you never put your hands on me again, and never spy on me again."
LeShawna pulls back, raising her right hand. "I promise, with God as my witness."
"Perfect." Heather smirks.
(Confessional: Heather)
"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Woo! What a gamble! I was really banking on her believing the sentence mixing. Maybe that scrawny necked dweeb is more useful than I previously thought.. I sense another post merge ally~"
(Confessional end)
Back at the challenge, Courtney, Geoff and Gwen sink their hands into the branch to make sure they won't meet the same fate as the surfer girl. Owen tries desperately, feeling the pressure on him.
"Come on, big guy! You can make it!" Trent cheers from the sidelines.
Owen blushes, feeling the effects Chef mentioned earlier. "Awhaha.. Great Wall of China, this is hard!.. Hnnngh…. Ahh!" He slips off the branch, falling directly on his chest. Heather and Trent run up to him.
"Owen! Dude, you okay?" Trent asks, lifting his melon head up.
"Aw man.. I was supposed to win.." Owen laments.
"It's okay, man. We've still got Gwen. She's.. Got this, I'm sure." But he doesn't look so confident in saying that.
(Confessional: Trent)
"I may have been drunk last night, but that doesn't mean I don't remember what Gwen said about Heather. I am not into her, not at all. And I'm a little offended by her lack of trust in me. That being said, the sex was incredible."
(Confessional end)
"You know, Trent.. I-"
Heather's schemes are interrupted when Owen throws up all over her shoes. She looks repulsed, looking down at the mess of bile that coats her feet. "UGH! Owen, what the fuck?!"
"S-sorry.. I must have eaten too many of those delicious ice cream sandwiches last night." He sheepishly smiles, wiping the gruel off of his lip.
"Lindsay! Get me to the showers, now!" Heather stomps. Lindsay hurriedly takes her hand, but keeps her distance so she doesn't get all dirty.
"On it!" They run off towards the communal washrooms.
Courtney suddenly bursts into a muffled fit of giggling, covering her mouth until she can't anymore, laughing hysterically at Heather's misfortune.
"Stop laughing this instant!" Master Chief scolds. Duncan can't help but smirk proudly.
"I-I'm sorry!" She laughs, to the point of losing her balance and falling off the branch, landing on her butt with a big grin still on her face. She looks up into Master Chief's eyes as he walks up to her.
"I expected more outta you, soldier."
Courtney stands up, still giggling. "Um, Master Chief sir? There's just one thing I have to say to you."
"And what might that be?" He raises an eyebrow.
"You really need to take a chill pill." She doubles over with laughter, all the while Chef's face grows red as a tomato, smoke literally fuming out of his ears. Duncan picks her up, laughing alongside her before she wraps her arms around his waist.
"Stuff that in your boathouse, Chefy!" Duncan mocks.
"It was you..! Duncan, I swear on my life, I will end you!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"Okay, Geoffy! It's all up to you!" Courtney cheers.
Geoff chuckles, with Gwen perplexed at this change. "Rock on, sister! I live for the head rush! Feels.. So… good…" And… he's fallen off the branch.
"Ooh.. that's gonna leave a mark." Courtney hisses, her other teammates all wincing for him, and because they realize now that they've lost. Gwen climbs down the tree and lands in LeShawna's arms, what remains of her team lifting her up to carry her in celebration. Chef stops the group with one hand.
"Gwen!" They drop her. She approaches him. "I'm proud of you, soldier. I would serve with you anytime."
"I'll keep that in mind when choosing a career path." She walks off awkwardly, getting hugged tightly by Owen and LeShawna from the front and back while Trent smiles at her.
A tear rolls down Chef's eye. "You do that, soldier. Sniff. You do that."
Later that night at the Killer Bass elimination ceremony, the team all sit on the log seats they're used to. Geoff, DJ and Bridgette sit next to each other on the back most row, while Duncan and Courtney sit at the front gazing into each other's eyes with their hands on each other's laps, consistently rubbing their hands up and down each other's thighs. Harold sits confidently with his arms folded off to the side. Chris stands before all of them, a plate of marshmallows in his hand. Master Chief stands behind them menacingly,
"There are five marshmallows on my plate. And these marshmallows represent the campers, who will continue to remain campers… here."
Courtney rolls her sultry eyes, squeezing Duncan's leg as he does the same, flashing her a big grin.
"Look, they don't exactly pay me to write this show anymore. Budget cuts, what are ya gonna do? On top of that, I missed all the juicy drama today, so let's just get this over with. Geoff, DJ and Bridgette, you're safe."
The three friends get up to collect their marshmallows. Bridgette smiles at Courtney, nodding in approval at her choice to pursue Duncan. Courtney waves at her. Chris keeps the suspense going by looking between the three remaining campers, tossing one at a green haired delinquent. "Duncan."
"Alriiight."
Courtney laughs behind her hand, tracing a finger up and down his chest. Harold smirks widely, looking between Courtney and Chris.
"This is the final marshmallow of the evening. And it goes to….
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"Harold."
The Bass' calm expressions suddenly turn to shock. Duncan lets go of her as she stands in stupor.
"Yes!" Harold pumps his fist, walking up to Chris to claim his marshmallow.
"WHAT?! You guys voted for HAROLD over ME?!" She yells, her knees once again feeling extremely weak, her stomach quaking with sickness. She looks into Duncan's furious eyes, then over at Bridgette's dreadful blues.
"No, no, Court, I didn't vote you out! I promise!" She defends, holding her hands up.
"Yes, yes, it's always a shock." Chris states, walking up to Courtney with his hand on her shoulder. She smacks it off.
"This is impossible! I demand a recount!" She replies, hands on her hips.
"Yeah, dude, no, I can tell you right now that there are five people on this team who didn't vote her off!" Duncan points to Geoff, DJ and Bridgette, all of them nodding in solidarity.
"The confessional cam doesn't lie, dude. Everyone on your team voted for her. Everyone." Chris repeats. Courtney bites her bottom lip, looking off to the side as Harold watches the fireworks.
"No the fuck I didn't!" Duncan growls, pulling on Chris' shirt.
"W-whatever, dude." Chris pushes him off.
"Duncan.. You- you didn't vote me off. Right?" She looks crushed. Bridgette opens her mouth to speak, only for Duncan to grab her hands amorously and speak to defend himself.
"I swear on my life I didn't."
The host looks at his watch as Courtney smiles softly at him. "Uh, it's a half hour show. Get her outta here." Master Chief grabs one of her wrists, while Chris grabs the other.
"Shoulda been better disciplined. Maybe then your team wouldn't have thrown you to the wayside." Chef states. Courtney kicks the air, shaking her fist determinately.
"I do not concede! I do not concede!"
The duo hosts throw her into the Boat of Losers. She shakes her fist at them. "You're going to be hearing from my attorney!" Chef gets in the driver's seat and begins driving off, while Chris walks away.
"Courtney, wait! I made this for you!" Duncan sprints towards the dock. She stands up, holding her hands out as he tosses something toward her.
"Duncan!" A skull ornament lands in her hands, their initials (DxC) surrounded by a heart carved out into the back of it. "Okay this is really weird and creepy, but… I love it! I'll never forget you!" He waves her goodbye, and she waves back, clutching the heart to her chest. Bridgette runs up next to him, nearly tripping in the water as she calls out for her.
"COURTNEY! I DID NOT VOTE FOR YOU! I SWEAR! I-I'LL FIND YOU AGAIN! I SWEAR!"
Courtney doesn't reply, looking down. Bridgette pouts, tears swelling in her eyes as she looks down at the ocean below.
It's midnight now. Everyone else is either asleep or trying to sleep. Harold stands by the campfire, holding a stick with his marshmallow of invincibility lodged into it. He lets the fire burn it, then pulls it out once it's crispy and black. He blows the flames off of the delicious treat before we see a flashback to the confessionals that got Courtney eliminated.
(Confessional: DJ)
"Gotta be Courtney."
(Confessional: Geoff)
"Courtney."
(Confessional: Bridgette)
"Definitely, Courtney."
(Confessional: Duncan)
"I choose Courtney. She stinks."
(Confessional: Courtney)
"So long, Harold, hello freedom~"
(Confessional: Harold)
"You just think you're so funny, Duncan. Let's see what happens when someone messes with your love life."
(Confessional end)
Harold stares at the camera with a shift smirk as the flame on the marshmallow dies out.
"Yes!"
Mid Credits:
Courtney sits in a hotel room, her phone pressed up against her ear and her bags unpacked, knee hopping over and over. She's not calling her parents, or her lawyer. She's trying to reach Duncan.
"I'm sorry, but the person you're trying to reach has a voice mailbox that has not been set up yet. Please leave a message after the tone."
"Duncan.. I know the service is shotty at best over there, and it's not like you have the greatest tech available.. But I really need someone to talk to. So, please, please call me soon. Goodnight."
Beep.
On Wawanakwa, Bridgette tries to call Courtney while sitting on the Bass cabin porch, with Geoff coddling her by her side, but said shotty service disables her from getting anywhere. She throws her phone to the floor and sobs into Geoff's arms. He hugs her comfortingly.
Back at the hotel resort, a knock can be heard as Courtney puts her phone away. "What now?"
The door opens, Sadie and Katie running into the room with big smiles on their faces as they embrace Courtney in a three-way hug. She does not reciprocate.
"Oh my gosh, hiii Courtney! Long time no see!" Katie enthuses.
"Ugh! Sadie and Katie? I never wanted to see either of you again!" She shoves them off of her.
"That's not very nice!" Katie frowns, her arms on her hips.
"But we get it. I mean, I did try to kill you." Sadie replies.
"Oh my gosh, that was such a girlboss failure. You still slay though." Katie smiles, waving her hand.
"You really think so? Thanks, bestie!" Sadie hugs Katie. Courtney rolls her eyes.
"Ugh. If you're not here to either apologize or give me your cash before I sue you, can you just leave me alone? I've had a wretched enough day."
"Aww, we totally saw! I knew you were into Duncan." Sadie cooes, pinching her freckled cheek.
"He is kinda hot.." Katie mutters.
Courtney smacks her upside the head. "Ow! I said kink of!"
Chef pokes his head inside the room, waltzing in, back in his regular clothes. "Easy there, ladies. Time for your interview."
"Interview?" Courtney questions.
"It's in your contract. After your elimination episode, you'll be interviewed for the sake of promotional material on the Total Drama website." He pulls out a seat, the 'cuck' seat as it's often called and sits down with a pen and paper.
"Now? This can't wait till morning?" Courtney asks.
"Not with that attitude, soldier! Sit down, all of you!" He points at the bed across from him. The girls all sit, with Courtney between Sadie and Katie.
"Ooh, fun! It's like we're actually in the challenge." Katie exclaims.
"Wait, why do I have to be interviewed with them?" Courtney asks.
"You only have to be interviewed with Sadie, because I never interviewed her." Chef answers.
"He found us a little overbearing." Sadie adds.
"Annoying. I found you annoying." Chef deadpans. "Ahem.. first question. What are your names?"
"Courtney Marie Claire-Barlow. Or Courtney Barlow."
"Sadie Lipson! But you're more than welcome to call me Sadie Champagne!~"
"Awwwwww! I love that!" Katie squeals, holding Sadie's hand affectionately.
Chef looks up from the paper. "Next question: likes and dislikes? Courtney, you can go first."
"Likes? Studying can be fun if you do it in an environment you have full control over. Stealing can be pretty fun, too." She eyes Chef with a mischievous glare. He rolls his eyes. "Camping, music making, napping, going to art museums, and stargazing. Would have been nice to not be betrayed by my team, too. I can't believe Bridgette, Geoff and DJ would do that to me.. I'm never making the mistake of trusting anyone again."
Sadie nudges her. "Yeah, you go, sis." Courtney glares at her.
"Sadie?"
"Oh right! Well, I love dancing, and singing, and the Five Nights at Freddy's series, and-"
Katie gasps. "I totally forgot to mention FNAF in my interview!"
"Oh my gosh, I saved your scene girl integrity!"
"I love you!"
"I love you too!"
Chef taps his foot impatiently, shouting, "AND?"
Sadie, startled, continues. "Oh, and poems, and AMV's on Youtube, aaand volleyball, and swimming, and Katie!"
"Hehe, you're too much!" Katie giggles.
"Courtney, favorite food?"
"Sushi." She answers nonchalantly.
"Sadie?"
"Apple pie, I always make that with my mom and Katie!" Sadie excitedly replies.
"What about your dads?" Chef asks.
"Who?" Sadie and Katie say in unison.
"I thought so. Dislikes?"
"That bastard McLean! He'll suffer my wrath, just you wait!" Courtney punches her palm.
"Fascinating. Sadie?" Chef points his pen at her.
"Oh, I hate scary things, like mean people and bullies."
"Ditto." Katie nods her head.
Chef sighs. "What are your dream jobs?"
"I want to be a corporate lawyer. I think."
"I'm already living it as a Youtube and Blickblock sensation!"
"Greatest job ever, greatest fans ever!" Katie cheers.
"Final question: What would you have spent the money on?"
"Ooh.. That's a toughie. Maybe a yacht. No.. two yachts. Two pink yachts for me and Katie!" Sadie exclaims, earning a round of applause from Katie.
"Eeeeeeeh!"
Courtney folds her arms and closes her eyes confidently. "I'd save it for law school, then use whatever I can to get my own place, get the hell away from my parents and bail Duncan out of juvy- er, I mean, buy an expensive car or something. Can we be finished now?"
Chef stands up, as does Katie and Sadie. "Goodnight, Courtney! Sleep tight!" Sadie says, waving at her as she leaves with her conjoined twin. Courtney ignores her, fluffing her pillow.
"Enjoy your sleep, princess."
She blinks, looking up. "What?"
"I said enjoy your sleep." Chef growls, closing the door and turning off the light.
"Oh.. Yeah." She frowns, lowering her head. She reaches into her pant pocket and pulls out the skull Duncan carved for her, laying on her side whilst clutching it to her chest and closing her eyes.
Credits resume